The Courier Week 18 by TKO Media

Edition 18

www.thecourier.es

Friday, June 24, 2011

‘I’ve never seen such bad, messy, couldn’t-care-less work’ AN angry pensioner exploited by shamed heating company SolarSpain told this week how her house was twice flooded after radiators EXPLODED. And as more disgruntled customers revealed nightmare experiences at the hands of the rogue trader they knew only as ‘Darren’, legitimate solar-heating firms breathed a collective sigh of relief at the apparent collapse of his cowboy firm.

THE VICTIMS

Kirk Thomas, whose company Cosy Casa Solar & Heating suffered a massive loss of business because of Darren, told me: ‘‘I have never seen such bad, messy, I-don't-care-less work in my life.’’ The Courier revealed last week how dozens of homeowners, mostly pensioners, had spent thousands of euros on solar systems that were totally inadequate. Mr Thomas, originally from Chelmsford in Essex, explaiDONNA GEE reports ned: ‘‘Having spent a good few years supplying and insout a technician to attempt a because the products he installing solar on the south repair on a SolarSpain talled were cheap Chinese coast of Spain I have come up against Darren more than system. Others just wanted units bought from a company the old system ripped out in Malaga for around 120 a few times. ‘‘And over the last couple and replaced with one that euros apiece. ‘‘SolarSpain customers I of years I’ve had several works!’’ He added that Darren was have visited paid between calls from very unhappy cusable to sell systems that 3,000 and 5,000 euros for tomers of his. ‘‘Some wanted me to send undercut reputable firms these systems,’’ Kirk revea-

Rival firms tell how cowboy company ruined their trade

led. ‘‘As if that's not bad enough, they don't work!’’ He also claimed that SolarSpain did not follow any of the required EU guidelines and added: ‘‘I have lost count how many calls we have had for replacement parts for his units. ‘’All his customers told me: ‘He just won't answer the phone.’’’ Whilst our revela-

tions delighted companies like Cosy Casa, there was also a downside. Kirk revealed: ‘‘Saturday is normally a good day for business. I had one client cancel and three very worried and concerned couples. All of them had read the Courier article.’’ He also feels for all the people duped by dodgy

Darren and is offering to check their systems and repair minor faults free of charge (see advert, page 14). Another company that lost out big-time to SolarSpain was its virtual namesake, Solar in Spain. Fidelma Matthews, who started the company with her

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Friday, June 24, 2011

Wifi’s down - wanna go out and net the surf? TELEPHONE

96 672 6437 JUNGLE DRUMS E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Alto del Moncayo s/n, Guardamar del Segura, 03140, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 672 64 37 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Dave Bull (English/Spanish) SUB EDITOR Donna Gee ADVERTISING SALES 96 672 6437 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 672 6437 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Vanessa Gran Alacant, La Marina, Guardamar Tel. 638 741 847 Denise La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 697 241 753 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Writers Dave Bull Malcolm Palmer Mick Hardy Donna Gee Suzanne Manners Spike Paul Payne Sally Bengtsson Tony Mayes Jake Monroe Dan Smith Photographer Mark Welton

Picture of the week

96 672 7334

SolarSpain: The victims From Page One

husband ten years ago, revealed that before starting his own company, tried to set up a partnership with Solar in Spain. When he was rejected by the Matthews, he set up an unregistered business with a very similar name. Fidelma said:. ‘‘We have fruitlessly tried over the past two years via newspaper articles and our lawyer to get ‘Darren’ to stop using the name SolarSpain. Firstly, because the systems he was selling just didn’t work and secondly, his bad business ethics had a knock-on effect on our business and solar energy in general.’’ And in a plea to The Courier, she added: ‘‘I would be very grateful if you would highlight to your readers that solarinspain.com has no association whatsoever with SolarSpain.

CHINESE LAUNDRY GUARDIA Civil officers have dismantled a major Chinese criminal organisation based in Spain, arresting 34 people suspected of laundering up to 40million euros per year from the sale of counterfeit tobacco and other pirated goods. Goods valued at more than €11 million were confiscated during operation ‘Long’. The ring is believed to have operated in Spain since the late 1990s, the General Directorate of the Civil Guard said on Wednesday in a statement. Headed by a Chinese family, the group allegedly

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Honest TAKE YOUR PICK: SolarSpain’s shoddy job (top) and the way the Cosy Casa professsionals do it

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‘‘I would like to reassure your readers that there are good,honest solar energy companies who have many years experience and have their customers interests at heart.’’ Meanwhile, more tales of SolarSpain’s shoddy workmanship and poor service poured into the Courier office this week. One couple in their 70’s told of a nightmare scenario in which radiators exploded when they turned the heating on and their house was flooded by escaping water. ‘‘There was a really loud bang and we had water pouring down the stairs into the lounge and dining room,’’ they said in an email. ‘‘After desperately trying to mop up this water and having the electricity blown out, we had to call on friends to come over and help us. It took us all about two hours to clear the water.’’ Later the same thing happened again.

THE FLOOD, THE RAD AND THE UGLY – Pages 20, 21

Monday Plenty of sunshine High Temperature: 28°C RealFeel: 28°C

Today Nice sunshine High Temperature: 28°C RealFeel: 29°C

Saturday Bright sunshine High Temperature: 26°C RealFeel: 27°C

Sunday Bright sunshine High Temperature: 29°C RealFeel: 31°C

Tuesday Beautiful day High Temperature: 29°C RealFeel: 30°C

Wednesday Mostly sunny High Temperature: 31°C RealFeel: 33°C

Thursday Sunny High Temperature: 24°C RealFeel: 26°C

Friday, June 24, 2011

CAN THE SPANISH TAKE A JOKE? EVER wondered what Spanish people are really like? Well, according to one British woman who has been part of a Spanish family for most of her life, they are very much the same as us! Beverley Ballesteros, from El Altet, met her husband Andres at a dance in Benidorm when she was a teenager. It seemed destined to be no more than a holiday romance – instead it ended in a marriage which is still going strong after 32 years. And Beverley, originally from Bury, near Manchester, says: ‘‘To me, the British and Spanish people are two of a kind. They tell the same jokes and share the same wit, sarcasm and gossip only in different languages.’’ There are, however, areas where the two cultures differ dramatically – and Bev (as she’s known to family and friends) and Andres have seen it from both sides after living for more than 20 years in England, where their children Andres Jnr and Raquel were born.

YES, says Bev, married to a Spaniard NO, says Teresa, divorced from a Brit Anglo-Spanish alliance: Beverley and Andres Ballesteros

Notorious The UK’s notorious bingedrinking ‘sickness’is one obvious area, with Andres explaining: ‘‘When I was a youngster I was always taught that drunkenness is something to be ashamed of. ‘‘In Britain, young people go out with the deliberate intention of drinking themselves into oblivion. ‘‘Spanish people drink just as much as the British – in fact we always had wine on the table when I was a child. Maybe that’s why I don’t like it! ‘‘But seriously, if a Spanish person has too much to drink, he will normally just get

DFS on move DFS, everyone’s favourite furniture shop, have moved. Their fantastic new shop will be situated on the same N332, but the other side of Iceland, between Iceland and Ala 30 Garden Centre, with ample parking space.

himself home quietly and sleep it off.’’ Unfortunately, Andres Jnr seems to have inherited the English disease after spending most of his life there. Says Bev: ‘The last time he came to visit, there were comments in the local bars about how much he was drinking. They knew straight

away that he had English blood!’’ Homesickness eventually got the better of Andres Snr – who worked in England as a school caretaker and a mechanic - and he and Bev finally settled back in El Altet five years ago. And Bev, who speaks fluent Spanish after constant

visits to see Andres’s family, soon realised that the two cultures had much in common. However, one of the big differences is attitude to the family. ‘‘The Spanish would not dreamof putting the kids to bed at 7pm, or leaving them with a babysitter so they can

go out for the evening,’’ she says. ‘’They just put the children in a buggy or whatever, and take them out too.’’ Spanish-born Teresa Iglesias (pictured right), whose own marriage to an Englishman mirrors that of the of Bev and Andres, experienced the British way with kids first hand as an au pair 35 years ago. Her stay lasted 27 years, two children of her own, and ultimately divorce from husband Frank.

she says. ‘’British people can laugh at their own expense and I also love the way you make jokes with double meaOrganised nings.’’ Now living back in Teresa also admires our Guardamar, she says: ‘‘The politeness and manners. British attitude to children ‘‘You can never be too politens to be much more con- te,’’ she says, an attitude servative. which smacks of more than ‘‘They have a more organi- half a century living in sed routine but they are not England. as tactile with the kids as are ‘‘The Spanish tend to be the Spanish.’’ rude, loud and excitable. Teresa marvels at the They also behave very diffeenormous influence Britain rently in alien environment. has had on the world in areas ‘‘For instance, the British in like science, technology, art Spain show a great sense of and literature. community. They bond togeShe also loves the British ther, form clubs and hold all sense of humour – particu- sorts of functions for charity. larly our ability to laugh at ‘‘But when the Spanish go ourselves. abroad, they all head in diffe‘‘The Spanish can dish it rent directions. Help each out – but they can’t take it,’’ other? No chance!’’

On the other hand, drivers...

A TEAM of Spanish researchers has created a device that lets a driver steer, accelerate, change gears and brake with just one hand. Developed by Asociacion RUVID, a consortium of five

Spanish research institutes and companies, the prototype is completely electronic. Having no mechanics involved helps those who may have reduced strength in the device-operating hand. Also, motors in the

device are used to simulate the haptic feedback and sensations of a traditional, mechanical steering wheel. ‘‘When designing a new system we wanted to eliminate our concept of the mechanical

technology and implement technology based on electronics, which offers more versatile solutions,’’ said team leader Jose Solaz. The prototype was presented during the European Automotive Congress in Valencia

Friday, June 24, 2011

BENIDORM OR BUS(T)! What do you do? GRAN Alacant Benidorm Bus has been running in Gran Alacant and Santa Pola for the last seven years and is run in association with Viajes Baitur SA in Santa Pola. We have many regular customers who come and enjoy the trips with us each summer.

Where do you go? WE go to Benidorm Town which has so much to do and see it’s a day out in itself and we also take people to the popular theme parks, Aqualandia water park, Mundomar Sea World and Terra Mitica.

So how much is it? Well, prices start from as little as 12€ to go to Benidorm town, and the theme parks all have individual but attractive prices and of course it varies from child to adult but they are all very reasonable and if you need more information just call into one of our ticket outlets.

Benidorm beach

Terra Mitica

So when can people go on the trips?

Where can we get tickets?

THE trips go every Wednesday and Friday starting on Friday June 24, throughout July, August and into September. They do get busy so try to buy your ticket in advance as much as possible to avoid missing out on the day.

For Santa Pola, tickets can be booked at Viajes Baitur SA (Travel Agents), Calle Dean Llopez 17, Santa Pola. (located behind the castle). In Gran Alacant from; Quicksave British Supermarket, Centro Optica opticians, Baileys Bar, Destinations Bar, Total Postal, GranNet and now also on the GA tourist train (see Rob). All our ticket outlets and their locations are advertised in Jungle Drums on Page 15.

So what time will they pick people up and bring them home again? We start in Santa Pola at 08:55 and in Gran Alacant starting at 09:10, and then we leave from Benidorm at 5pm so you really do have a full day there, we normally get back to Gran Alacant around 6pm in plenty of time to enjoy the evening ahead.

Mundomar sea world

Where are the pick up and drop off points? We pick up from Santa Pola next to the Red Cross building and in Gran Alacant at Lidl/Consum, Destinations Bar, Sueños Azul and Bailey's Bar.

Do we need to book in advance? Aqualandia water park

Yes, tickets need to be paid for in advance of the trip and as I said before it’s always best to get them as far in advance as you can.

GREEK TRAGEDY FOR BRITS

If they go under, guess who’s set to pay again? WITH the collapse of the Greek economy, the potential devastation of banks and other City institutions in the UK would be equal to 24 per cent of our annual national output, or £14,640 for each and every family in the UK. This would mean that Britain would be hit with losses of up to £366bil-

lion, it has emerged. The incredible news came as the Greek government won a vote of confidence in the Athens Parliament, clearing the way for a second bailout to go ahead. The crunch will come next week when the Greeks vote on a £25billion austerity package demanded by the EU before they hand over any more cash. Ministers had warned that British banks have 'only' £2.5billion of exposure to Greek government debt, while the Bank of England says the losses would be only £8billion but experts last night said that UK financial institutions are in far more danger than previously thought, because banks are tied up in complicated derivatives and insurance deals. They warned that if Greece defaults on its debts the crisis could cause a series of dominoes to fall, with Portugal, Spain and Ireland heading to the wall in turn. Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou survived the crucial confidence vote with 155 votes to 143 and two abstentions. All deputies voted along party lines. Without a 'yes' there was no prospect of Greece enacting the £25billion of spending cuts and tax rises that EU finance ministers have demanded before granting a second bailout. Meanwhile, David Cameron said the euro must not fail because it would drag Britain's economy down with it. In a slap-down to Boris Johnson and other Tories calling for the end of the single currency in its current form, he said: 'Britain suffers when the eurozone struggles. Forty per cent of our exports go to eurozone countries. Turbulence in the eurozone is not good for Britain.'

Experts accused ministers of underestimating the true scale of the risk to the UK, as Channel 4 News revealed that estimates of potential exposure range as high as £366billion. Danny Gabay, of Fathom Financial Consulting, which calculated the figure using data from the Department of Business, said: 'It's not the direct loan that’s the problem, it's the derivatives of those loans which can go on to be multiples of the actual original size of the loan. They allow banks exposed to debt to take out insurance with other financial institutions to protect them from losses. They in turn sell the risk to others, meaning one debt can infect dozens of institutions. Former Labour City minister Lord Myners accused Treasury minister Mark Hoban of giving 'numbers that significantly understate the truth' when he told MPs that British banks could lose $4billion - about £2.5billion.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Ibiza - the Island that never sleeps

If you die for parties, can't live without shopping and would stay a whole day on the beach, then it's crystal clear that Ibiza is the place where you must land...

THE moment you set foot on Ibiza you feel the electric atmosphere which made it famous in the world. Ibiza is part of a group of islands from the Mediterranean Sea which belong to Spain. The main town of the island bears the same name as the island and here people come to have fun, to enjoy their holidays, to forget about their boring lives in their countries. The Spanish have taken advantage of this side of paradise and, consequently, as a tourist you won't be disappointed. Bars full of life, world wide famous clubs and an endless bustle prevent you from losing your holidays enthusiasm. The place where the sun is at its ease are the beaches: Fingueretas, Talamanca, and Playa dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;En Bossa, the most crowded on the Island. You will be surprised when realizing that the small hotels have higher standards for their tourists and the prices are smaller. When you get tired of so much sun on the beach you

can visit the Dalt Vila Fortress, where the old town is hidden and the area has become "Patrimonio de la Humanidad". The archeological remains are preserved in the Historic Museum of Ibiza. You can't either miss monuments like: Portal de les Taules, Eivissa Cathedral, Santo Domingo Church, but also La Cove de l'Amore (the cave of love) where it is said that if you make a wish it will surely come true. Should you be the adrenaline fan, the extreme sports at their home so you have to

bring your credit card as they could be quite expensive. Be but careful not to get too tired as the night is about to begin and you can't miss the tour clubbing of the island and the party will last till dawn. You will find the best clubs in the world, the hottest music, the most famous DJs in the world. The most exclusive club is by far "Pacha" and although almost 3,000 people visit it each night, the atmosphere is intimate and welcoming. Shopping can become a race, wondering all the shops on the island and the price differ from one place to another. Buying a present for family and friends is a piece of cake as you have where to choose from. Ibiza is the ideal place to have fun as no one is interested in your car, what clothes you are wearing or the way you dance. Once you have arrived on the island you never go to sleep, and that is why it is called the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;island which never goes to sleepâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Tony Mayes v Donna Gee COURIER WARS, ROUND 2: Tony Mayes bites back at fellow columnist Donna Gee over her comments concerning his inability to learn Spanish. This could go on and on and on...

I CAN’T BE PERFECT ALL THE TIME HAVE you ever been irritated by people who have excelled at a subject - whether it be a particular sport, mastered a musical instrument or learned a foreign language, and then made some smug comment at your inability to do the same thing? It happened to me at school, at work, in recent years when a teenager questions why I can't master the inner workings of a computer, the never-ending apps on a mobile phone or the ever more complicated TV and video remote controls. And thanks, Donna Gee, for being the last in a long line of folk who have somehow managed to make me feel guilty that I can't be absolutely perfect at everything I do - including speaking fluent Spanish. I would have loved to have been able to run a marathon, been cheered for scoring a goal in a match of importance, have been able to play in a band or know, as if by instinct, how to create a spread sheet and baffle everyone around me with my computer prowess. Sadly I cannot, and the reason is that I have not devoted the many, many hours of effort needed to reach those particular goals, and it's the same with learning a language. It just doesn't happen, it has to be learned and once learned it has to used, otherwise it is quickly forgotten. The difference, Donna, between you and me, apart from a probable age difference, is that I have only spent a few months in Spain, and I come and go between our apartment in Orihuela Costa and our UK home on the South Coast, enabling us to visit friends and family. After a few weeks in Spain my wife and I find ourselves remembering and using the odd word of

Spanish, and, no doubt these will increase, but after a few weeks of absence, it's eclipsed by other things which invade in our always busy lives. Let me now take issue with you, Donna, on a few other points in last week's Courier. The difference between the thousands of ex-pats in Spain and the influx of immigrants from the Indian sub-continent, Caribbean and Africa into Britain, is that the former have moved to Spain and invested their money in the country, whereas the majority of the latter have come near penniless to the UK, often hidden in the back of lorries, and have provided little if any benefit to the UK. You also criticise Brits for attacking immigrants for not learning English - but English has become the international language, not languages of the Indian sub-continent, nor Spanish for that matter. Last week I was watching

the pre-trial at the European Court on TV and what was the language spoken in court? Yes, English. I would suggest, Donna, that different languages spoken throughout Europe has contributed to the many wars that have taken place over the centuries and the sooner we get to one language being spoken, the better. Perhaps we Brits have a leading role to play in encouraging everyone to speak English and make the world a safer place.

TONY WAS RESPONDING TO THESE WORDS IN DONNA’S COLUMN LAST WEEK... MY Courier colleague Tony Mayes hit a raw nerve with his assertion last week that expats need not bother to learn Spanish because English is so widely spoken. I’m not convinced that Tony’s brain simply won’t take in Spanish grammar, as he claims. I suspect he might also be suffering from a touch of lazy-itis, that lethargic condition which seems to afflict expats in everincreasing numbers. It’s ironic that the ‘‘no need to learn Spanish’’ brigade are often the first to condemn Asian immigrants to Britain who for one reason or another don’t speak English. ‘‘If they are going to live in our country, then they should bloody well learn our language,’’ is the all-toocommon cry from the masses back home. Yet if you listen to Tony, mastering the local lingo is purely an optional extra for those who opt for a new life in the Costas. Sounds like double standards to me.

THE GLOVES ARE OFF!

Friday, June 24, 2011

HIRE AND DIRE (at least fellow highway robber Dick Turpin wore a mask)

YOU know how it is. You’ve just had a two-hour flight listening to some Lithuanian trying to sell you after-shave after previously spending two hours in the departure zone of some airport back home (which was more expensive than Monaco) and the last 30 minutes watching everyone else’s luggage passing on the carousel before yours finally appeared. Now you just want to get to your intended destination as quickly as possible. The only thing standing (sitting actually) in your way is Felipe from Belgium, the clerk at the car hire desk, who boasts the charisma of a slug - but works a little slower. Frustrating, isn’t it? And by the time they’ve finished adding up all the ‘extras’, on top of what seemed a good deal when you booked it on the internet, you feel like you’ve been financially abused by Felipe the slug, if there is such a thing. If not, I’ve just invented it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking all of the guys and girls in the rent-a-car offices. I used to work with them and some are kind and helpful. But the Felipes of this world exist…so we’ll pick on them. You see, over the years, things have changed in the car hire world. Less than 10 years ago travellers were happy with a Seat Marbella (Fiat Panda) that had no aircon, no power steering, no stereo, no airbags or even comfort come to

that. But with the advent over recent years of the internetbased companies, who have offered more and more for less and less in an effort to beat the competition, customers now require all the luxuries but at the super-low prices that, on first impression, look very accommodating indeed. But... And sometimes (as many of you have written to tell us) what you see, or more accurately, what you expect is not quite what you get. Somehow or other, ‘Autojumbo’ (our fictional car-hire company for this exercise so I don’t get the shirt sued off my back) can squeeze 50€ worth of fuel into the car you’ve rented that is roughly the size of a wheelie-bin. Whether they are using aviation fuel or not we’re not sure yet. Another charge is a baby-seat which, if you plan to spend more than a couple of weeks here, means you might as well have left the little darling at home – with a full time nanny. I’ve not even started on the ‘extra

drivers’ tick-box yet but I know from experience in the industry and because we all know that in Spain the car is insured – not the driver - that it costs the hire company no more money to add drivers. But they charge for it handsomely. You knew all this already, of course…because you read the terms and conditions on the website. Just watch out for that one because on several sites we couldn’t even find any! And on those that we did…well they were about as vague as a Spaniard giving directions. They also cover themselves (but unfortunately not you) by telling you which bits of the car aren’t included in the insurance that comes with the vehicle. For example, tyre damage, damage to the underneath, flat battery, days off road after you’ve hit a pothole… it goes on and on. However, those kind people at Autojumbo will offer you an insurance (at an extra cost) that will cover the bits that aren’t covered. Still with me? Good, because in the small print of THAT insurance you’ll find Mr Vague has been busy again and inserted the line ‘exclusions from insurance can be partially covered with this insurance…’ of which there is no explanation as to exactly what it is you are covering, or not. So you end up paying a load of ‘extras’ that Felipe has now convinced you it is not worth hitting the streets without, even though you haven’t got a baby - and off you head, feeling like you’ve just paid for enough fuel to get the plane back to the UK again. Why all the extras? Because, as I said earlier, with the emergence of the online and what seem at first glance, ‘budget’ companies the price to actually rent the car is extremely cheap, so they need to make it up somewhere, and Felipe is not letting you go without relieving you of some of your hardearned first…

Urbanisation names: DO THEY HAVE TO Count yourself lucky SPEAK SO FAST? WHILE driving around the region last week something dawned on me. Something that’s been niggling away at the back of my brain for a while (no, not piles) and I finally have it figured out. Have you ever wondered where the Spanish constructors get the names for their urbanisations? I have and it’s bothered me (possibly more than it should have) for quite a while, but when you read my thoughts on this subject I think you’ll agree that it is clearly well thought out and, of course, correct. Cast your mind back about 10 years to when the Spanish constructors had just bought several (thousand) ploughed fields, having possibly passed the relevant local and large planning officer a large brown envelope during a large and expensive meal. Now they just needed to sell them – so they went to the UK and stayed in guesthouses with names such as Sea Breeze, The Oasis, The Sea & Mountain, The Coves, Sea View, I could go on. I reckon you’re with me on this one and can probably see the theory taking shape now. And I’ve not even mentioned the Bella Vista – translate your Urb name. Does it sounds like a British B & B? To endorse the fact that I know I’m right, what did the constructors do in the evening after attending trade fairs and selling yet-to-be-built houses? They went to the local pub, of course. Possibly the Golden Olive, the Lighthouse or the Arches – translate them into Spanish and you find even

more Urb names - El Olivo del Oro, El Faro and Los Arcos. I’m telling you now, folks – if you were wondering why your Urb has its name, it is more than likely because the people who built it decided to stay at The Dunes in Lytham. Just be thankful they didn’t book in at The Dog and Duck… OK, so my theory stutters a little when you consider Urb names such as ‘Sueno Azul’ – which sounds downright pornographic . Or does it? Did the constructors only spend their evenings in pubs or did they visit somewhere more exotic…in Blackpool? Or Wales? Some are just a misrepresentation, for example Victoria Playa (beach) is quite a way from anything resembling sand and how about Mil Palmeras, which sounds like a Moroccan boudoir…apparently. One of the biggest Urbs in Spain, Camposol (literally ‘sunny field’) sounds to me like a 1950s American boxer… but I guess that’s why we learn not to translate Spanish words directly into English (and into an English context) because then they don’t make sense. I need to apologise in advance to residents of anywhere called ‘Las Casas Blancas’…but they obviously (and seriously) got bored by the time they got to naming your place, didn’t they? But fortunately for you, dear reader, the constructors didn’t come and stay in my home town of Brighton or you, my friend, would now be living in somewhere called the Pink Coconut…

IT was a choice between writing an article on speaking Spanish or doing a recipe for an omelette or something. So if you don’t learn anything here, we’ll get the pans out. There are obviously lots of ways to learn Spanish but none of them seem easy (enough), do they? The books look daunting and when, after you’ve rehearsed all afternoon before placing your order in perfect Spanish at the restaurant in the evening, the waiter replies in English…well, it’s a bit demoralising, isn’t it? So we asked several native

Spanish teachers for their best tips for getting us speaking the lingo, without going to classes and doing the dreaded studying that puts so many off. Martin, a teacher in Elche for 15 years, and a nice neighbour it should be noted, said: ‘Do you have iTunes? If so go on there and type in Intermediate Spanish or Advanced Spanish (depending on your level) there are two really great podcasts on there for both of these levels where two speakers (one a native speaker from Spain and the other an advanced speaker) converse about lots of different topics concerning Spanish culture. So you get to practise your Spanish speaking skills while learning something interesting about the culture. If you’re having trouble speaking the language I’d suggest trying to make some friends online and then conversing via microphone so that way you can practice.’ When you’re bored talk to your dog or even to yourself in Spanish. Voice your thoughts out loud in Spanish –not recommended after a skinful I guess. Failing all that, crack six eggs into a bowl…

Friday, June 24, 2011

DO WE â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;CAREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;?

TONY MAYES addresses two subjects to which MPs of all political persuasions should give urgent attention and act quickly - to end suffering for so many people and to streamline a failing and ridiculous penal system FIRSTLY, I want to discuss the terrible plight of the frail, bedridden and ill elderly people who are being kept alive in nursing homes all over the country and are little more than living vegetables. Last week my wife and I visited an elderly distant relative in a nursing home up north. He led an active, full life until his 80s, but now, at the age of 95, he's lying in a bed, drugged with morphine, periodically waking up screaming in pain, shouting to be moved because he is covered with bed sores. He's reduced to no more than skin and bone, and has been like this for two years now. Obviously, and sadly, his heart is strong, and so are his vital organs, otherwise he would have passed way long ago, but he's waking and being wracked with pain, until a nurse hears his screams of pain and responds with another shot of morphine - and sadly not enough to help him pass peacefully away.

Suffering It's an old clichĂŠ, that we would never let an animal suffer in this way, we would end the pain and suffering, so why, on earth are we permitting this torture - as torture it unquestionably is? I wanted, so desperately, to put a pillow over his head and give him the peace he longs for. Obviously I couldn't, and my wife and I felt so helpless. She is a nurse and knows only too well how many others are suffering like this, being kept alive in a twilight world of dreadful pain, with absolutely no quality of life. Personally, I would like every single MP to visit these nursing homes and see the

dreadful suffering people are having to tolerate, because of some ridiculous belief that life has to be preserved at all cost. I would also like every religious person who has similar views to see the consequences of their crazy beliefs. Then I would like a constructive debate in the Commons of how people living in these conditions can be allowed to end their lives in dignity. Obviously there must be safeguards, to ensure people are not bumped off through the greed of relatives, etc., but we must end this barbarism, as barbarism it is, to allow people to live day after day in agony. Importantly, I am in no way criticising the care given by staff in the homes, they are having to work within the law.

Cautions Secondly, let's look at the British penal system. I despair when I hear that treatment of offenders is a postcode lottery, with some police forces prosecuting offenders while others give cautions, and with some courts giving community sentences while others opt for a prison sentence. Ridiculously, all political parties say they don't think the present system of locking people in prison is the answer to dealing with an offender. The statistics are that the majority of people sent to prison will go out and re-offend, and while inside they are in company of other inmates who share their criminal expertise, so once released they have learned more law-breaking skills and skills of escaping detection. We've recently had the crazy spectacle of Ken Clarke bringing forward a suggestion

that people who plead guilty to a crime early should earn a reduced sentence. I'm glad that this idea was met with derision, but let's face it; the idea was born not so much to save victims of crime the trauma of giving evidence in court but an attempt to save money. So, let's end the farce. Let's have a debate on the possibility of ending the cycle of offenders being sent to prison and reoffending weeks after release, and saving money at the same time. My idea would be to operate secure offenders' factories nationwide. Offenders would live and work in the secure factory, which would be operating in the commercial world, and people would work according to their abilities. Offenders would work and earn money and at the same time learn new work skills.

Those who refused to work would, obviously, earn no money and would receive only basic food and accommodation, so there would be a considerable incentive to cooperate. Most importantly, at the end of the sentence, there would be work offered using the same skills as those in the prison factory companies would be given incentives to employ the released offenders. And help would be given by the probation service to provide accommodation, if needed. In that way, people would have a job and a home, so the temptation to turn to crime again would be greatly reduced. Perhaps a win/win decision. And because the prison factories would be producing goods and/or services, they would earn money, reducing the cost of the prison service and helping the UK economy.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Free cheers! Entertainers flock to the aid of Lorca A DOZEN entertainers are giving their services free at the Quesada Country Club next Thursday (June 30) in aid of the Lorca Earthquake appeal fund. The 12 who have generously agreed to take part are Ricky Powell, Andy Jones, Greg March, Dan the Man, Nessie, Richie, Pete Hull, Samantha Curtis, Danny Ray, Michael Buble Tribute, Lorna Michelle and Darren Jones. The all-action show will be compered by Crazy Gee - and there will be a raffle with prizes donated by local businesses, plus a barbecue. The Quesada Country Club’s new children’s play area will be open, as will the new crazy golf and the swimming pool. This will be a great day out for all the family and all money raised will go to the Lorca appeal fund. Everybody giving their services voluntarily, so please come along, support the cause, and have a fantastic time.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Hero’s reward: From a dogs life to party time

Facing danger in Afghanistan: Wayne Gell and Scooby

THE Help for Heroes Charity welcomed a real hero last week – halfway through his second tour of duty in Afghanistan. During his R&R leave, British soldier Wayne Anthony Gell was visiting his family in Playa Flamenca when Help for Heroes’ Maggie struck. In just three days, she organised a surprise party at Pablo`s International Bar near the family home. After joining up in 2007, Wayne chose the Royal Army Veterinary Corps as he likes to work with dogs. Based near Paderborn in Germany, he trains the animals to operational level, to be sent out to war zones to assist the British Forces. He returns to Afghanistan

SHOWSTOPPER THE Broadway and Hollywood show kicked off to standing ovations from Costa Blanca audiences.

Andy’s a wow in new musical spectacular

The show, a fundraising event for the local Help at Home organisation, is on an eight-venue tour of the region. And the first two performanAndy Jones ces, at Los Arcos and Casa Ventura, in Phantom both received a tremendous recepmode tion. Peter, from promoters Jukebox Promotions, commented: “Andy Jones, our special guest star, is simply fantastic and has wowed the audience with his voice, characters and acting. ‘‘I can promise you that you have never seen Andy perform like this before and this show really is a must for lovers of Broadway musicals and show songs.’’ The show sets a high standard from the off with Peter Day and Fiona McLean (the other half of Jukebox an amazing sequence from top shows like Legends) presenting a selection of South Pacific, Guys and Dolls, West Side songs from films – including some great Story, Les Miserables and Phantom of the Shirley Bassey and Barbara Streisand Opera, complete with quick changes of numbers. costume. Then Fiona is back with some Andy then takes the audience through great show songs and her own costumes

San Javier jazzes it up The 14th edition of the San Javier Jazz Festival, which begins tomorrow (Saturday), is dedicated to the memory of Gary Moore and Solomon Burke, and will include some of the best musicians in the current jazz and blues scene. Among the top musicians scheduled to appear are Ramsey Lewis, Chicago, Wynton Marsalis & the Jazz at the Lincoln Center Orchestra, Eric Burdon & The Animals and John Pizzarelli & the Clayton-Hamilton Jazz Orchestra. One of the highlights of the programme, which runs until July 30, is the return of legendary pianist Lewis, this time with his Electric Band and with a Jazz-Funk project, a genre which he invented. Also featured will be Jazz Rock supergroup Chicago's first concert in Spain and

this weekend to fulfil the second part of his current six-months tour. Sent out with the 1st Military Working Dog Regiment, his job is to find and locate roadside bombs and unexploded ordnances, which cause such devastating harm, injuries and death to British forces abroad. Wayne says his dog in Afghanistan, a Golden Labrador called Scooby, is highly trained and a pleasure to work with. So far the event, which was hosted by Ricky Devine and featured several other entertainers, has brought in €350 - and money is still coming in! Help for Heroes wishes to thank everyone who attended and especially Maggie for organising such a great night.

the return of Eric Burdon and The Animals. Not to forget two of the world's most prestigious big bands. Other jazz greats like Jamaican pianist Monty Alexander, Californian guitarist Lee Ritenour and guitarist John Scofield will clear the way for young musicians who are already world renowned. Among these are Japanese pianist Hiromi with her new trio, Danish pianist Niels Lan Doky, and the new star of the accordion, Ludovic Beier. Spanish performers include Cadiz pianist Sergio Monroy, Mallorcan guitarist Biel Ballester and his trio, and Catalonian pianists Albert Bover and Jaume Vilaseca. Most of the concerts can also be enjoyed by fans throughout Spain thanks to the collaboration of Televisión Española, Radio 3 and 7 Región de Murcia.

- which had everyone jumping in their seats at Los Arcos and casa Ventura. Peter added: “We strongly recommend this show to all lovers of musicals and films. You will be astonished at the quality and value for money that it offers. We really hope to see as many people as possible at the remaining shows - and they are all fund raising for the HAH cause.’’ Tickets are just €7.50 with a special block booking deal where groups of 10 or more get two tickets FREE at any one venue. Each venue offers a pre-show meal option at a great rate although tickets for the show can be booked without buying food. Tickets are available at the chosen venues or by calling the info line on 695135134. REMAINING TOUR DATES AND DETAILS: (all shows start at 8-30pm): Tuesday June 28 - Asturias, N332, Punta Prima; Wed June 29 - The Club, Quesada.

X FACTOR RUTH IS HOME WHO remembers Ruth Lorenzo, the fiery Murcian who lit up the stage of X Factor back in 2008? She was back in Murcia last week to promote the release of her new album and gave an interview to local media here, She will be singing this Saturday (June 25) at Rivemar in Cabo de Palos, near La Manga, at 11pm.

Here comes the Rain... LOOKING for something to entertain the kids that's exciting and will get them working on something completely different? Then take them on a "Rain Forest Adventure" - and it's free! It's being arranged by the International Christian Assembly Church in Torrevieja, as part of its outreach programme. It is open to all, from Tuesday, June 28 to Thursday, June 30, from 11am to 12.30pm for children from five to 12, at the church, which is at Calle Urbano Arregui 23, Torrevieja, on the western side of the city. There will be games, Bible stories, songs, crafts, skits, refreshments and much more. The church will be decorated for the occasion with both English and Spanish speakers there - so it really is for all comers. The director is Mary Restrepo, wife of the pastor . She has run holiday clubs for the past 20 years and does it out of love and purpose. Mary and her staff will be on hand to work with and entertain the children so they get the very best out of the experience. Just bring the kids along let them enjoy themselves while you have a break!

Friday, June 24, 2011

WE CAN’T AFFORD TO STAY OPEN, SO...

Let’s celebrate going bust!

A LEADING Costa Blanca restaurant is being forced into closure at the end of the month as the recession hits hard in the region. But rather bizarrely, owners Nicolas and Shannon are plan to mark the occasion with a CELEBRATION party in aid of Help At Home Costa Blanca. Although they have fought hard to keep the restaurant going, they say that with so few people around on weekdays, it has been impossible to make the establishment pay. "It's such a shame because we have put our heart and soul into making Casa Nicolas one of the best high-quality, value-for-money restaurants in the area" says Nicolas. "We will miss our regular customers and want to thank them for coming along so often". The celebration evening takes place at the restaurant on Monday June 27 and Jukebox Promotions are assisting with the special fundraising evening for HAH. It will be a fun night with some great music by Jukebox Legends and a fabulous three-course meal (menu del dia) available at just 8.95 euros, which includes a glass of cava. Peter Day, from Jukebox Promotions says

GREAT OUTDOORS

"This is a very sad time for the people of Torrevieja who will be losing one of the best restaurants in the area. We hope that as many people as possible will come enjoy this celebration night for Shannon and Nicolas. ‘’It's strange to call such a sad occasion a celebration - but it is such a good idea to be happy that the restaurant was there for so long and gave such great service and value for money.’’ Casa Nicolas in at Altos del Limonar close to the BMW garage. Find out more about this event at www.jukeboxlegends.com and www.jukeboxpromotions.co.uk

Successful Casa Nicolas in at Altos del Limonar close to the BMW garage. Find out more about this event at www.jukeboxlegends.com and www.jukeboxpromotions.co.uk A feature of the evening will be Jukebox Promotions’ very successful ‘Will the Key Turn?’ competition as part of the fundraising. Says Peter: ‘‘Someone could win 50 euros on the night so we hope that there will be a good crowd as a special send off to Shannon and Nicolas and to help raise some cash for the charity.’’ To book your tables, call 966 789 368 as soon as possible.

with Malcolm Palmer

CALL ME ROCKY

IF you live in a rocky area, especially near the coast – or even if your house may be mistaken for a rocky hillside – look out for Black Wheatear. He’s a chubby, near blackbird-size chap with a startling white patch on the base of the tail. Rare or absent over most of Europe, the Black Wheatear is common enough in our sunny region.

CHINESE LAUNDRY BLUES Continued from Page 2

smuggled between four and six containers loaded with tobacco and other counterfeit products, such as textiles and leatherwork, every month through the Mediterranean port of Valencia. The goods were later distributed in France, Portugal, Italy and England. The organisation obtained millions of euros in profits that were later sent to China, where another branch laundered the money. An investigation by the Civil Guard's eco-

nomic crimes unit, launched in in 2007, revealed that the same ring also offered moneylaundering services to other criminal gangs. Among the tactics it employed to disguise the origin of its ill-gotten gains were the use of "mules" to transport money inside clothing or other personal belongings and high-volume bank transfers of less than 20,000 euros each. The ring laundered the money with the use of Chinese nationals whom it had previously helped enter Spain through job offers.

Friday, June 24, 2011

IF, like me, you know precious little about the internal workings of computers, then I guess you’ll have been ripped off by a repair ‘expert’ at least once. Unless, that is, you have a trusted friend who understands all the technical stuff and can bail you out when your laptop or desktop is sinking under a sea of problems. Now I know there are lots of honest computer engineers, or whatever you call them. But there are also loads of conmen who prey on ignoramuses like me I mean, how do you know you are being charged a fair price when you have no idea what was wrong in the first place? All you have is a computer that doesn’t work and a geek engineer’s diagnosis that your motherboard’s broadband temporary-hard-drive files are overloading. Well, something like that.

COMPUTERS ARE ALL GEEK TO ME

Fair price Oh, and they tell you say it will cost you 150 euros to get it back into cyberspace. But what is a fair price when you haven’t a clue what the guy’s done done to fix the damn machine? Apart from the fact that Zorba (the geek) tells you it was a bigger job than he had anticipated. Last Christmas, I went back to see my family in Manchester and when my computer over there suddenly refused to connect to the internet, I turned to my vast knowledge of these things to get back on line. Like swearing at it (''Bloody Dell, what's the matter with you?'') and of course rebooting, as recommended by more than one so-called IT

But my artful lodger had the answer to the repair sharks geek I have worked with. Pillocks, the lot of them! Anyway, computer matters being all geek to me, I decided to suss it all out at a couple of local specialist shops in the part of Manchester where my UK home is situated.

No way was I going to lug the machine to their place, so I made a note of the details and armed myself with the message that kept appearing on the screen. It said: The proxy server is refusing connections. Firefox is configured to use a proxy server that is refusing connections. • Check the proxy settings to make sure that they are correct. • Contact your network administrator to make sure the proxy server is working. At the first computer shop I went to – a relatively new, well-fitted establishment – I showed the screen message to a smartly-dressed Asian gentleman and asked him if he knew what it meant and how much it would cost to get

me back on line. ‘‘Your computer has a virus,’’ he told me authoritatively. ‘‘We will need to remove it, which will involve cleaning the files off your computer so it will be more or less as it was when you bought it. This will cost you £40. ‘‘If you would like the files restoring as they are now, this will be an additional £15. We will need to have the computer for about 24 hours.’’ I mentally dubbed him ‘Vikram Virus’ and told him I would return with the computer. Intending to obtain at least one more estimate before committing myself, I headed for another, smaller computer repair shop in a less salubrious area. ‘‘There’s a problem with the

I can’t access the internet’’, I ventured, producing the proxy message from my handbag and plonking it in front of him. ‘Do you have any idea what this means?’’ I expected a furrowed brow and a vacant ‘’Sorry, I don’t know’’ - but got the opposite. ‘‘It’s nothing major,’’ he said. ‘‘I can sort it out; it’s a minor thing with the settings.’’ With that he sat down at the computer, called up something or other, tapped a few keys - and bingo, we were back online. The whole job took little more than 60 seconds – and he refused point blank to take any payment. From £55, to £20 to a freebie. And they used to say you couldn’t trust car-repair shops!

Patient

OK, so I should have asked Anthony in the first place – but he wasn’t around at the time I settings. I can fix it for £20,’’ lost my internet connection and I am not the most patient asserted the manager. of people. ‘‘No virus?’’ I queried. The big question the whole ‘‘No, it’s the settings and I can sort it out in about half an experience throws up for comhour if you bring me the computer-illiterate people like me is, 'When something goes puter tower.’’ No virus, no need to remo- wrong and you consult one of ve and replace files – and £20 these 'experts', how can you compared to £55 to get me be sure you are given the correct diagnosis? back on line. And even more so, charged That’ll do for me, I thought – and headed home to collect an amount in keeping with the computer tower vowing whatever has been done? Anyway, I've now got never to go near Vikram Anthony earmarked to service Virus’s place again. When I arrived, my lodger my little car over in Anthony had just come home Manchester, though I have no from work. Remembering that idea whether he knows anyhe was employed in IT, I thing about motor mechanics. But he's honest and he's thought I’d sound him out in the hope he might know what incredibly cheap - which is more than can be said for was causing the problem. Vikram Virus. ‘‘Anthony, for some reason

My word, did you notice the mistake? HOW many readers spotted the deliberate mistake in last week’s column? (OK, it wasn’t deliberate but it’s a good excuse if I say that it was). Judging by the minimal reaction we received, not many. But just look at last week’s headline. What does it say? ‘THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE DAY,’ do I hear you say? Look again, slow down and read every word individually. Now what does it say? I’ll give you two goes to guess (and that’s a clue!).

I wrote the headline and designed the page myself but at no point did I notice my massive headline error. It only came to light when I was trying to explain to a

Danish friend that the headline was a play on a well-known English expression. She took one look at the page and said immediately: ‘’Why have you used the word ‘GO’ twice?’’ Cue shock horror – plus a response from me that’s unrepeatable. I was staggered that a veteran sub-editor like myself could miss such an obvious clanger. Having said that, in Fleet Street there’s a generally accep-

Whether you agree or disagree with Donna’s views, email your comments to donna@thecourier.es

ted saying that ‘‘the biggest bo****ks are the hardest ones to spot.’’ I also remember something that used to be a bit of a party piece years ago – holding up the words alongside and asking people what they say. The vast majority simply don’t notice that the word ‘THE’ appears twice. Actually, that experiment is still going on at places like the University of Maryland physics department, whose boffins say the purpose is‘to show how your mind affects what you see.’ The sign is held up for a few

seconds, then the students are asked individually what it says. Most will agree that it says "Paris in the Spring." In fact it says PARIS IN THE THE SPRING. – and I won’t have it that it’s a quote from a man with a stutter because he'd have said ‘P-p-p-paris’.

Friday, June 24, 2011

WHAT THE SPAN

EC water ultimatum SPAIN WARNED TO ACT OVER LAS FILIPINAS - OR FACE EURO COURT OF JUSTICE SANCTIONS

SPAIN has been given two months to comply with the EU Drinking Water Directive – or face the wrath of the European Court of Justice. The European Commission issued an ultimatum last Thursday demanding that Spain adopt measures to improve the quality of drinking water on the Las Filipinas urbanisation in San Miguel de Las Salinas. The Commission noted concerns that residents have suffered from water that is unfit for human consumption for more than a decade and that, despite Spain acknowledging the situation and petitions to the European Parliament, no tangible action has been taken to solve the problem.

The EC had already warned Spain with a letter of formal notice in 2009, but said that despite receiving a number of replies, no satisfactory action hah been implemented. Therefore it had concluded that breaches to the EU Drinking Water Directive were still ongoing. The Commission said that if Spain failed to fulfil its legal obligations after receiving the EDC’s reasoned opinion, it may refer the case to the European Court of Justice. It’s understood that analyses of drinking in Las Filipinas have repeatedly shown excess levels of sodium, nitrates, chloride and conductivity. The report follows a letter to the Courier’s editor published in last week’s issue. The anonymous Lomas del Golf resident

wrote: ‘‘Articles have been printed in other free papers over many years about how toxic the water is in Las Filipinas (which includes Lomas del Golf, Eagles Nest, Blue Lagoon and others) and we are instructed NOT to drink it, cook with it or bath babies and small children in it. ‘‘We bought a holiday home on Lomas del Golf 13 years ago and have never been able to drink the water coming out of the tap, nor do we use it for cooking.’’ The writer added: ‘’Could you use your powers as Editor of a widely read publication to find out why our area has been ignored for so long and if and when we are likely to be supplied with a water supply that is drinkable?’’ It seems the European Commission have just provided an answer of sorts.

Kate the elegant dazzles Madrid BY SALLY BENGTSSON BRITISH actress Kate Winslett was given an award last Wednesday evening at the Yo Dona International Awards in Madrid. She might have been awarded for her humanitarian work, but Kate, 35, also got full marks in the style stakes . The popular actress looked extremely elegant as she arrived at event dressed in a floorlength black Victoria Beckham dress, to accept her award for her humanitarian work, at the award ceremony held at Palacio de Cristal de Arganzuela. The 35-year-old actress accepted her award, and it was also announced that she will be inducted into Hollywood's Walk of Fame next year Kate teamed the archive ensemble with a pair of Christian

Malaga stars give peace a chance

La Liga team Malaga will sport the logo of the United Nations cultural organisation as part of an ‘Imagining Peace’ campaign as part of a new four-year agreement signed at the week-end.

The deal also includes Internet and social media messages aimed largely at youth. Under the agreement, UNESCO (the UN Educational, Cultural and Scientific Organisation) and

Malaga FC will promote initiatives in favour of intercultural dialogue, education and the fight against doping and racism.’’ ‘‘The alliance is rooted in the will to promote the values and objecti-

ves of healthy, doping-free sport and to help create a society unfettered by racism and discrimination," said UNESCO directorgeneral Irina Bokova at a signing ceremony in Malaga.

Louboutin heels and carried a hard clutch bag by Judith Leiber. She finished off her look with an elegant ponytail and a pair of dangling Tiffany & Co. earrings. Despite her stunning look, she stated, 'I'm obviously not a model. I'm not the size of a model. I don't have the face of a model or the shape of a model.' Kate has remained single since the end of her eight-month relationship with English model Louis Dowler late last year. The pair started dating after Winslet revealed she had separated from second husband, director Sam Mendes after seven years of marriage. She was previously married to Jim Threapleton father of her daughter Mia, 10, for three years.

Friday, June 24, 2011

NISH PAPERS SAY

CHE’S MOTORBIKE PARTNER DIES AGED 88

THE ITALIAN JOB

Milan police in €6m swoop for Evita jewels JEWELLERY worth six million euros once owned by the late Eva Perón and stolen in Valencia two years ago, has been recovered by police in Milan. The stash includes a diamond tiara given to Evita, the former first lady of Argentina, by the King of Holland in the 1950s and alone is worth €4million. The items were found in a luxury hotel on the outskirts of Milan on Tuesday, where one of the suspects in the robbery had registered under a false name. He was reportedly identified from the security footage of the jewellery store in Valencia. It’s understood that he was out of the hotel at the time his room was searched by police. The Italian Carabinieri have been working with Spain’s National Police since shortly after the robbery in December

2009. One of the suspects was arrested in Milan a year ago on a European warrant issued by the Spanish courts, and there have been other arrests in Spain during the course of the investigation. According to the Italian media, the robbery was carried out by a gang of seven from Serbia who saw the Eva Perón collection on view at a Valencia exhibition in the autumn of 2009 and then contacted the jewellers to make enquiries about their purchase. After a number of meetings, the deal was agreed, and the money was handed over for the jewellery. The thieves managed to escape with their haul just after the store owner realised that the case of bank notes had been switched for another which contained counterfeit money.

CROWN JEWELS: This tiara - a gift to Evita from the King of Holland - is alone worth €4m

Friday, June 24, 2011

TIME MANAGEMENT FOR BUSY MUMS AND DADS option, you could opt for a Blueberry or an Iphone. What a good excuse to treat yourself!

WHEN was the last time you were able to spend some quality time with your partner without the kids intervening? Or even just being able to soak in the bath without a constant barrage of interruptions? In our house, you´re lucky to even be able to use the toilet without someone shouting through the keyhole that they want something. If this sounds like you, you are not alone but that doesn´t mean that we should give up trying to search for the holy grail - a 25th hour in the day to get everything done. Whilst this is clearly never going to happen, there are a number of simple steps we can take to manage our time more effectively. In the long run, this benefits the whole family and the impact on lowering your otherwise high blood pressure is likely to be almost instant! Here´s how it´s done.

Identify your time wasters

ARE you secretly addicted to activities which serve no real purpose and simply waste time? If you think the answer is no, take a look at this list and see whether any of these notorious time wasters feature in your daily life. • Watching TV • Talking endlessly on the phone • Waiting in queues or offices with nothing else to do whilst you wait • Reading magazines • Constantly checking emails or using the internet • Clearing up after other people • Looking for lost items or nipping to the

Write it all down

shops for forgotten shopping • Worrying about things outside your control You might have a few of your own you can add to this list but you get the general picture. If you could shave 20 minutes off three of these tasks a day, you would have found your 25th hour. Why not give it a try!

Set some Goals

HOW can you achieve your goals if you don´t know what they are? Whilst it seems a bit corny, it is worth getting a paper and a pen and writing down all the things you want to achieve including all those things that seem impossible such as getting fit, joining a choir, and having that elusive, uninterrupted bath or night out with your partner. Go wild and write down all your unfulfilled aspirations. Put a time frame on them for when you would like to achieve them. Put them in a private note book which is reserved just for this purpose and if necessary fit a lock on it so it is away from prying eyes!

Buy Yourself a Diary

IT might seem a bit late in the year to be buying a diary but you could always opt for an academic one which runs from September to August. You cannot organise yourself without one and you have to have it with you all the time and treat it like your bible. If you prefer to go for a technical

NOW you need to get everything that is in your head down on paper. Brainstorm everything that needs to go on your to do list. This should include all of the things you are putting off such as redecorating the house, going to the dentist, having your eyes tested, checking your smoke alarms, cleaning the windows – in fact everything you can think of. Keep the list close to you and if you suddenly think of something else, add it immediately before it goes out of your head.

Prioritise

ONCE you have completed your list, you need to organise your tasks into four sections: urgent and important, important but not urgent, urgent but not important, neither urgent nor important. Whilst this might seem a little complicated, it allows you to see things for what they really are. Urgent and important tasks should be tackled first, followed by important, nonurgent tasks and then the remaining two. The danger is that you tackle the urgent tasks first and never get round to the important activities. The most common non-urgent but important tasks often involve your kids such as reading them a bedtime story, helping them with their homework, taking them to the park. It also includes getting passports renewed or going to the dentist These tasks get overlooked at your peril and should feature as part of your daily to do lists. If they don´t you will wake up one day and they will suddenly

be so urgent that they will overwhelm you.

Allocate a slot

Once you have sorted your activities into the four headings you should allocate a day in your diary when they need to be achieved. Anything that you do not finish on that day should be forwarded to another day. Clearly this will not work if you do not refer to the diary on a daily basis so you need to get into the habit of checking it every evening so you are ready for the following day. Stay focused and make sure you tackle the tasks in the right order. It will give you a huge sense of achievement to be able to tick everything off the list. Be realistic about what you can achieve in an average day and always make sure you make time for some family activities.

Add a wall planner to mix NOW you have your diary well established, it is good to add a wall planner to your shopping list. This should be displayed in a prominent place and should have individual slots for mum, dad and all of the kids so everybody knows who is going where, on what days and how they are going to get there. Everybody needs to know to check this on a regular basis and add to it as things change. WHILST it might appear that organising yourself in this way is like being at work, if you stick to these few rules, you will reap the benefits almost instantly. Next week we will continue with this theme and look at how we can tackle the household chores and involve everybody in the process without turning into the world´s biggest nag so watch this space!

Stepping up to the plate

THE US Department of Agriculture (USDA) is serving Americans a new plate. To help consumers better balance their meals, the USDA and First Lady Michelle Obama announced recently that the government is throwing out its familiar but complicated food pyramid. The pyramid had been used to represent nutritional guidelines. It will be replaced by a symbol that the USDA hopes is easier to understand - a food plate. "When it comes to eating, what's more useful than a plate?" Mrs. Obama said during a news conference unveiling the new icon, called 'My Plate.' The USDA, which provides nutritional guidelines to consumers, first introduced the food pyramid icon in 1992. The USDA revised the symbol in 2005 to reduce the significance of grains and include exercise. Many nutrition experts had criticized the pyramid-shaped guide. It was too complicated for people to easily understand when making food choices, they said. So the USDA partnered with Michelle Obama and her "Let's Move" campaign to better show consumers how to build a healthy meal. The Let's Move initiative aims to "put children on the path to a healthy future." "This is a quick, simple reminder for all of us to be more mindful of the foods that we're eating," the First Lady said at the conference. She emphasized the importance of having a kid-friendly nutrition symbol. "Children can learn to use this tool now and use it for the rest of their

lives," she said. The plate icon is a colourful circle graph divided into four sections representing fruits, vegetables, protein and grains, plus an additional small circle for dairy. It illustrates that half your meals should be fruits and vegetables, a little more than a quarter should be whole grains and a bit less than a quarter protein, plus a small amount of dairy. The symbol also serves as a reminder to control portion sizes and to consider various options for each category. Nutritionist Toni Bloom, co-founder of Funfoodle, which provides hands-on food and nutrition education to kids and their parents, says the icon's simple message, such as a clear emphasis on fruits and vegetables, makes it practical and effective for families. "I like how 'clean' the plate is," she said. "There are no foods pictured on it, just words that represent a food group. This subtly suggests that any food can fit as long as it is portioned correctly and can clearly fit into a food group." On the MyPlate website, the USDA provides a tool to determine more specific serving sizes based on your age and health. Other dietary guidelines from the USDA's include eating whole grains for at least half your grain servings, choosing low- or fat-free milk and water over sugary drinks; and selecting soups, bread and frozen meals with lower sodium, or salt, levels.

Friday, June 24, 2011

THE INBETWEENerS Spider warning

WHY GOLF SUITS ME TO A TEE

I HAVE had a recent report about the danger of a small black and white spider that jumps rather than walks along the ground. Here at The Courier, we were told someone who was bitten by this spider that “it feels like getting an injection.” Later this person went to hospital with a small wound on the arm I HAVE recently started to play golf again and decided to write this article to inform and a large amount of pain. you about the most important equipment every golfer requires - namely CLUBS. I’ll Doctors said that the muscle and tendons inside the keep you updated as I progress through my game. arm were starting to waste I will tell you what I think away. of the game and the equipThe person is currently ment and write down my wearing a cast and says own thoughts and experithat although the initial bite ences with the equipment. wound has healed, an operSummer is upon us and it’s ation may be needed to the perfect time to dust the repair internal problems. dust off those clubs and We have been told by one head out on the golf course. person that this spider is There are some amazing areas, eat ants, and seem to larly dangerous. It looks simicalled “the jumping spider.” courses along the Costa come out after it has rained. lar to the spider above, so be We have been told that Please be warned - look out on guard! Blanca, so it’s an ideal place for a golfer to live. PHILIP HALL these spiders live in gravel for this spider as it is particuThe type of club that I personally use a lot is the iron. Irons are mainly used for the approach shots to the green. They extend (normally) from 3-SW, this means you have numbers 3,4,5,6,7,8,9 irons and also a pitching wedge and a sand wedge (the pitching and sand wedge don’t class as an iron, they class as a wedge but are usually sold with irons). The lower the number, the further the ball will travel - the pitching wedge is used to hit the ball slightly less than a 9 iron. The sand wedge is mostly used to get out of a sand bunker, but it can be used for small distances. Another club I use frequently is the wedge. This club is used mostly for chipping the ball out of certain hazards like the rough. It is also used for approach shots. I use it a lot for my approach shots because it is easier to control the ball and place it nicely on the green. There are usually six types of wedge with lofts (the degree of the club face) that range between 45-64 RWANDAN children performed dances Some 22 baby mountain gorillas were degrees. The pitching wedge has a loft of 45, approach wedge 50, gap wedge 52, sand wearing ape costumes to celebrate the named during proceedings led by Rwandan wedge 56, lob wedge 60 and ultra lob wedge 64. annual baby gorilla naming ceremony Prime Minister Bernard Makuza at A lot of golfers tend to have a gap wedge, this club has a loft that is in-between the Over 20,000 villagers, government offi- Volcanoes Natural Park. pitching wedge and the sand wedge. cials and tourists celebrated the seventh The number of mountain gorillas in If there is anything you wish to discuss or you would like me to report about in my annual Kwita Izina Ceremony for the coun- Rwanda has risen to 780 from just 250 in the future articles, please contact office@thecourier.es try's rare mountain gorillas. 1980's.

By PHILIP HALL, 15

ALL APES AND SIZES 20,000 flock to baby-gorilla naming ceremony

The secret language of dolphins

HERE'S a conversation worth talking about: A mother dolphin chats with her baby…over the telephone! The special call was made in an aquarium in Hawaii, where the mother and her two-year-old calf swam in separate tanks connected by a special underwater audio link. The two dolphins began squawking and chirping to each other. "It seemed clear that they knew who they were talking to," says Don White, whose Project Delphis ran the experiment. "Information was passing back and forth pretty quickly." But what were they saying? That's what scientists are trying to find out by studying wild and captive dolphins all over the world to decipher their secret language. They haven't completely cracked the code yet, but they're listening…and learning. In many ways, you are just like the more than 30 species of dolphins that swim in the world's oceans and rivers. Dolphins are mammals, like you are, and must swim to the surface to breathe air. Just as you might, they team up in pods, or groups, to accomplish tasks. And they're smart. They also talk to each other. Starting from birth, dolphins squawk, whistle, click, and squeak. "Sometimes one dolphin will vocalise and then another will seem to answer," says Sara Waller, who studies bottlenose dolphins off the California coast. "And sometimes members of a pod vocalize in different patterns at the same time, much like many people chattering at a party." And just as you gesture and change facial expressions as you talk, dolphins communi-

cate nonverbally through body postures, jaw claps, bubble blowing, and fin caresses. Scientists think dolphins "talk" about everything from basic facts like their age to their emotional state. "I speculate that they say things like 'there are some good fish over here,' or 'watch out for that shark because he's hunting,'" says Denise Herzing, who studies dolphins in the Bahamas. When the going gets tough, for instance, some dolphins call for backup. After being bullied by a duo of bottlenose dolphins, one spotted dolphin returned to the scene the next day with a few pals to chase and harass one of the bully bot-

tlenose dolphins. "It's as if the spotted dolphin communicated to his buddies that he needed their help, then led them in search of this guy," says Herzing, who watched the scuffle. Kathleen Dudzinski, director of the Dolphin Communication Project, has listened to dolphins for more than 17 years, using high-tech gear to record and analyze every nuance of their language. But she says she's far from speaking "dolphin" yet. Part of the reason is the elusiveness of the animals. Dolphins are fast swimmers who can stay underwater for up to ten minutes between breaths. "It's like studying an iceberg because they spend most of their lives underwater," Dudzinski says. Deciphering "dolphin speak" is also tricky because their language is so dependent on what they're doing, whether they're playing, fighting, or going after tasty fish. It's no different for humans. Think about when you raise a hand to say hello. Under other circumstances, the same gesture can mean good-bye, stop, or that something costs five bucks. It's the same for dolphins. During fights, for example, dolphins clap their jaws to say "back off!" But they jaw clap while playing, too, as if to show who's king of the underwater playground. "I have not found one particular dolphin behaviour that means the same thing every time you see it," says Dudzinski. "If you like mysteries and detective work, then this is the job for you." And who knows—maybe someday you'll get a phone call from a dolphin.

Friday, June 24, 2011

editor@thecourier.es

SAY IT...SHOUT IT...WRITE IT...SEND IT...PHONE IT...MAIL IT

The flood, the rad and the ugly CONGRATULATIONS on your article about SolarSpain. You have been the answer to my prayers in that at last someone is speaking out about this awful man and his dreadful company. I have been advised to take out a denuncia against him, but I have to agree that the whole thing is best left, because of the stress and aggravation this would cause us and also the length of time it takes in Spain for a case to go to Court. There would be no guarantee that we would get anywhere in the end, so it is probably better to write off the loss of 4,007 euros which we paid to SolarSpain for a heating and water system. My husband and I are both in our late 70’s and quite honestly, we have had enough stress and anxiety caused through this company. The first problem was when it was discovered that the gas booster for the heating had been wrongly piped into the existing hotwater system. That was eventually sorted out but then the tank on the roof started leaking on the day it was installed and we ended up with water running down the road for the whole weekend.

MY RADIATORS EXPLODED AFTER SOLARSPAIN HEATING SHAMBLES

Modification It was eventually replaced but the workmen then said that they had to take the boiler away for modification. We questioned this, as the boiler had been the only piece of equipment which had worked satisfactorily for a few days. On March 10 two workmen arrived to install the boiler, but at 6.30pm we discovered that it was not igniting so once again, we had to contact SolarSpain for someone to sort out the problem. The job was finished the following day but on the 12th we had to ring to say that the boiler was still not igniting. A workman called and rectified the situation. After about 10 days, we decided to put the heating on one evening when it was a bit chilly. After going to the garage to do this, my husband returned to the house but was only halfway across the lounge when there was a really loud bang and we had water pouring down the stairs into the lounge and dining room. After desperately trying to mop up this

THE WRONG WAY: Darren’s work solar heating with spaghetti water and having the electricity blown out, we had to call on friends to come over and help us. It took us all about two hours to clear the water. We rang SolarSpain the next day and I was eventually told that the radiator would be replaced. However, nothing happened throughout that week and my husband felt that the radiator should be tested one evening, so, he turned the system on again and - the same as before - he returned to the lounge to the sound of a terrific bang. Another radiator in the lounge had burst and this time the flood was worse as our carpet was truly drenched and took two weeks to dry out. Again we had to call on our friends to help

us mop up and I vowed that the system would never be switched on again. I e-mailed SolarSpain and reported what had happened and that we now required two new radiators. But I refused to have any more water put through the system because there were another five radiators which could also blow. Darren came up with a suggestion from his 'Tech Team' which was that they would put an airline through the system first. As my husband had complained to the company that I had been suffering very high blood pressure for the past two years andcould not possibly cope with any more stress and aggravation, he sent another email to say that this work could be done

My engineers will check Darren’s ‘work’ for FREE

I RUN two companies here in Spain and the reason I am writing to you is with reference to your article in the last edition about ‘Solar Spain’ as my primary company is ‘Cosy Casa Solar & Heating’. I couldn't agree more with your article about ‘Darren’ and his company, in-fact I have several stories about SolarSpain that would make your hair curl. But that's not why I am writing. When I first read the article I thought ‘great, fantastic - what more could I ask for?’ It didn't work like that, in fact people now seem to be very concerned about spending money on solar in any way at all. I have an indoor market pitch in Formentera auction rooms on Saturday which is normally a good day for business. I had one client

cancel and three very worried and concerned couples. All of them had read your article. I understand you have a job to do and you did it very well with a very well written and factual outline of SolarSpain. I could have made it sound a lot worse with the units and jobs I have removed from site previously installed (for want of a better word) by SolarSpain. Solar DOES work. It’s NOT a total con - people who went with SolarSpain were unlucky (although I wonder how anyone can expect solar to heat your house when it’s dark and cold outside!) I will send an engineer free of charge to any Courier readers who are having problems with a solar system. Unlike Darren's mob we are all

fully trained in all forms of solar heating - hot water, swimming pools etc but not central heating (it doesn't work). Our water systems reduce your electric cost by a minimum 96% GUARANTEED every year. With rising fuel costs we need to educate the public about the advantages of solar and with your help I think we can. KIRK THOMAS Cosy Casa Solar & Heating You might be biting off more than you can chew there, Kirk. We don’t know how many faulty systems Darren’s crew installed, but judging by the flood of calls and emails we’ve received from his disgruntled customers, your engineers could be working for free for a long time! -Ed

when I was feeling better. He had spoken to the rad suppliers and they were happy to supply old for new. He then went on to say that he would make sure we were given good service and they would try to find the problem with the smallest amount of disruption. He would notify us in the following couple of weeks for us to pick a day for the tests to be carried out. I.e.-mailed again on May 14 saying that unless we had some results within the next four weeks, I would be taking this matter further. We have had no response whatsoever again. It is now 30 weeks since the work commenced and I think it is absolutely deplorable that a company can treat its customers this way and get away with it. My first impression of ‘Darren’ was that he was a Jack-the-lad and I should have been guided by what I felt then, instead of being so trusting. We have only ourselves to blame for being taken in by him, but I hope with all my heart that one day he will be brought to justice and made to pay for all the upset he has caused to so many people. Most of them like us, are just pensioners, who have saved long and hard for their retirement and who thought they were making their future winters a little more comfortable by parting with a lump of their savings to have this system installed. NAME AND ADDRESS SUPPLIED We have had lots of calls this week about SolarSpain and Jack-the-lad. Our investigation continues - we will keep you informed. Ed.

THE RIGHT WAY: What an installed system SHOULD look like, Darren

Friday, June 24, 2011

editor@thecourier.es

...BRING IT...COURIER IT...DELIVER IT...OR JUST FORGET IT! SPARE A THOUGHT FOR THE GENUINE GUYS...

WHY IT PAYS TO LEARN SPANISH

We are missing out on so much

I SAW the article on the front page of your latest issue. A year ago I was in the market for a solar heating system and I noted the ads for this local company. My neighbour had had a system installed by Premier Heating and I asked them for a quote. They installed a superb kit with copper pipes - all parallel lines and right angles and it has been a joy! I would heartily recommend anyone interested to ask Premier for a quote. I have no connection with the company, only that of a well-satisfied client. DAVID McCROSSAN La Florida, Orihuela Costa A point well made, David. There are a host of honest solar heating companies out there doing top-quality work. And I bet they would all happily lynch the man behind SolarSpain. -ED

I SO agree with Donna Gee regarding Tony Mayes’ article about learning the Spanish language. Apart from respect for the country we have adopted to improve our lifestyle, there is one very important problem that I have myself experienced. I recently had to spend nine days in Elche Hospital where I received the most speedy, efficient and friendly attention. But oh how I wish I had been able to speak more than the few Spanish words that I know! Having to have an interpreter (who was excellent) to translate every word the doctor or I spoke was so very inconvenient and frustrating. I have to say that the fact I did not speak or understand Spanish, or very little, did not make any difference to the kindness and attention that I received. Also during the time spent in the ward, the two Spanish ladies I shared a room with were really friendly, as

were their families. I just wished that I had been able to REALLY talk to them. It can be very lonely in hospital, unable to understand what is going on around you or to enjoy the television. So I would say to all the expats, try to learn a little of the language. I know it is difficult, particularly when you are only months away from 80. But I think it’s a great way to delay any of the memory problems that we encounter as we get older. The Spanish are so friendly and happy, we miss out on so much because of not being able to enjoy their company. Best wishes and many thanks to Elche Hospital. DAPHNE JUDD, Gran Alicant You are so right, Daphne. I was in Elche Hospital myself last year and found my knowledge of Spanish invaluable - even though it is far from fluent. - DONNA

SOLAR IN SPAIN - AN Making a spectacle HONEST FIRM THAT of octopus t....cles! DOES THE JOB RIGHT I HAVE just read your article about solarspain and I am horrified to the extent that ‘Darren’ at Solarspain has misled his customers. I work for Solar in Spain, which is a completely different company and has no association or links with SolarSpain. My husband and myself started the company 10 years ago and are an honest, hard working company who work only with renewable energy. We have worked very hard to build up a strong business over the years. ‘Darren’ set up an unregistered business with a name very similar to ours. We have fruitlessly tried over the past two years via newspaper articles and our lawyer to get ‘Darren’ to stop using the name SolarSpain.

Firstly, because of the systems he was selling just didn’t work and secondly, his bad business ethics had a knock-on effect on our business and solar energy in general. I would be very grateful if you would highlight to your readers that solarinspain.com has no association whatsoever with SolarSpain. I would like to reassure your readers that there are good,honest solar energy companies who have many years experience and have their customers interests at heart. FIDELMA MATTHEWS www.solarinspain.com Only too happy to put the record straight, Fidelma. You are not the only company to have suffered as a result of ‘Darren’ and his cowboy company -ED

HAVING purchased a pair of new spectacles (cost 140 euros) I was reading The Courier on-line and came across the story about Spanish food 'tapas into British tastes'. Paella - had that - then I read (or thought I'd read) exotic dishes....octopus TESTICLES! What?!! Taking a second glance, I read ‘octopus tentacles’. I have the balls to try most things....but octopus testicles? Now, where did I put my glasses? ANDREW ATKINSON Los Montesinos I’d give up on the glasses Andrew, sounds like much more fun without them! I’m sure if there are octopus testicles on a menu out there somewhere, it’ll be in Japanese…or French. - ED.

Is sewage contaminating my local orange plantation? I AM alarmed at reading Tony Mayes’ article on the ‘cucumber wars’ which says that the source of this E-coli contamination is possibly sewage contamination to vegetables and fruit products. Well, our next-door neighbours

in Algorfa let their sewage water go to the orange plantation at the back of their house. It is only water that is being released but it is still not treated. They have done this since they came to live here 12 years ago! I

certainly did not think of the implication of this until now - that what they are doing is a health hazard to the public. I mean, those oranges might be contaminated! They asked permission from the plantation owner and just harves-

ted their oranges last week. I don’t know whom to report this to but it’s certainly a matter of concern for the public’s health. I live at the back of the Club de Tennis of Almoradi, where the orange plantation is situated.

My problem is that my Spanish is not sufficient enough to talk to the Spanish caretaker of the plantation, the owner of which lives in Alicante. LORI LEA Algorfa

Friday, June 24, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

ADVICE: Dawn was looking for help with using Windows ADVICE: Sally was having problems with the free word Office package - OpenOffice 7 and wanted advice on good books to buy. Hi Richard, I have seen your page in the courier and would appreciate if you could advise me on any books or magazines that are for absolute beginners, I have bought my first ever computer, and did not know how to even switch the thing on, help from my kids started me off, but they live in the UK so i am now struggling big time, I am on Facebook, and know how to send e mails but not do the attachments, or see photos that people send to me, i am successfully using Skype, i would love to be able to create folders in libraries for my music(a local kid set a photo folder up for me my photos) but don’t know how to send them or put them on my profile page. pluss i do not understand most of the terminology or much about all the keyboard , and which signs letters and numbers mean what.so please could you help, i can’t afford to go to lessons, so i think books or mags, that are for complete idiots is the way forward thanks. I have Windows 7.

Hi Dawn, we are able to help you on a one to one basis with regards to structured and personal computer training. With regards to book recommendations, I have always been a fan of the “for Dummies” books, they are written in a style that most people seem able to relate to and they don’t take themselves too seriously. Given that you have Windows 7, I would recommend “Windows 7 for Dummies Book and DVD”, as the name suggests it has a helpful DVD that demonstrates some of the key tasks in the book. You can order it from Amazon.co.uk for only a tenner and with their Super Saver delivery you should be able to get it shipped to Spain for free!

ADVICE: Simon was having some trouble ejecting a DVD from his Mac

Hi Richard, not sure whether you have experience of Mac computers or not, most of your answers seem related to Windows computers? I have a problem with my iMac, its running OS X and I don’t seem able to eject the DVD that I inserted about 2 weeks ago! I have tried pressing the eject button on the keyboard, I have also tried dragging the DVD icon on the screen down to the trash bin but nothing seems to work – can you help? Hi Simon, yes we support Mac’s and Linux in addition to Windows computers it’s just that the large majority of emails that we receive are for Windows related problems and therefore that’s why you see more of them printed. With regards to your particular problem, it’s a strange one; usually the “dragging it to the trash can” works fine even if the keyboard button is broken. Firstly you need to make sure that there are no applications using the DVD drive, if they are then this could be the cause of your problem, restart your iMac to ensure that the DVD is not in use. If that doesn’t work then you could try restarting it again but this time whilst holding down the left mouse button, this should force all of your optical drives to be opened and hopefully will eject you disk. Update: Thanks for the advice Richard, you were right, I restarted it holding down the mouse button and out it popped!

Hi Richard, every time I switch on my computer I get this message: Either another instance of OpenOffice.org is accessing your personal settings or your personal settings are locked. Simultaneous access can lead to inconsistencies in your personal settings. Before continuing you should make sure user closes OpenOffice.org in host. Do you wish to continue? Yes or no? I usually click yes. Any ideas?

Q A

Hi Sally, it sounds like your user profile for OpenOffice has become corrupt. A corruption of your profile can sometimes occur if your operating system crashes when you were using OpenOffice for example. If you notice some strange behaviour of OpenOffice or if it just crashes or doesn't start, the first thing to try is to reset the user

profile. First close OpenOffice, including the Quickstarter Icon (OpenOffice icon in system tray at the bottom right of the screen) if activated. Open your Windows Explorer and make sure that it shows the hidden files and folders, to do this in Windows follow the instructions below... 1. Open Windows Explorer 2. Click Organize>Folder and Search Options or Tools>Folder Options (depending on Windows version). 3. Click the View Tab and check the radio button Show hidden files, folders and drive 4. Click OK. 4. Now you can rename your profile, its location will depend on your version of windows... A) Windows XP C:\Documents and Settings\<user name>\Application Data\OpenOffice.org\3\user\ B) Windows Vista or Windows 7 C:\Users\<user name>\AppData\Roaming\OpenOffice.org\3\user 5. Navigate to your profile location and change the "\user" folder to "\user.old" for example. This way, you still keep a backup of your configuration. 6. Restart OpenOffice, it will create a new profile. You should go through the welcome process again (if not, you may have not reset the profile properly).

Read Richard’s fantastic computer page only in Jungle Drums Magazine.

OUT NOW office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Friday, June 24, 2011

SUMMERTIME IS SALAD TIME By SPIKE (in the kitchen)

SUMMER salads are the best way to use up that leftover barbecued chicken or steak (so long as you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t scrape it off the grill in the morning) and any kind of meat is good. Try using some smoked turkey, ham, tuna, salami or corned beef they are all great in salads. However, if you want to keep it meatless, open up a can of beans - kidney, cannellini, garbanzo and black beans all make tasty, satisfying salad alternatives.

Tempting Toppings FRESH raw sweet corn adds a wonderful crunch when cut off the cob and sprinkled into a salad. The vines and brambles are bursting with plump berries right now -- try sprinkling some into your next salad. You'll be surprised how deli-

Some tasty ideas to spice up summer salads - and some great ideas for barbecue leftovers

cious that touch of tart sweetness is in an otherwise savoury salad. Toasted nuts are tasty, too. Toss some pecans, walnuts, almonds or pine nuts into a skillet and stir over medium heat until the nuts turn a shade darker and give off an enticing aroma.

Use your Head-or Not! IT doesn't need to be leafy and green to be called a salad! Try a Greek salad of tomato wedges, sliced cucumber, white onions, bell peppers, tart olives and tangy feta mixed with a simply delicious dressing of lemon juice, olive oil, and chopped oregano. Another spectacular salad for the peak of tomato season is the Insalata Caprese: rounds of gar-

den-fresh tomatoes and fresh mozzarella layered on a platter and crowned with basil leaves, extra virgin olive oil, and a sprinkle of salt. There's a whole world of grain and bean salads, too! Try tabbouleh, a Middle Eastern favourite with nutty, chewy bulgur wheat flecked with refreshing cucumber, tomato, green onions, fresh mint and parsley.

Salad Dressings FROM light vinaigrettes to rich, creamy dressings, nothing adds more zip to your salad creations than a fresh, homemade salad dressing. From the simple and familiar to the decadent, sumptuous, and exotic, the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s great-

est chefs and sophisticated home chefs are creating new and exciting dressings every day. Time to ditch the costly commercial dressings and master a variety of new palate pleasing salad toppings. Homemade salad dressings from scratch are easy to make and easy to store. Salad dressings are best when made with fresh ingredients, and spend a little extra money and get high quality oils and vinegars to

use time and time again. Classics like Caesar and Blue Cheese are enhanced when top-quality ingredients are used. New fun variations like toasted sesame vinaigrette, olive and herb vinaigrette, and Thai peanut.

WHAT A LOAD OF JUNK?

Food which contains little amount of nutrition and high content of harmful ingredients or both is generally referred to as junk food. The term 'junk food' was coined by Michael

Jacobson in the year 1972. Junk food is considered harmful for health and attempts are being made to minimize the intake of these dangerous food items. One would be

amazed to know the amount of sugar and other harmful ingredients we consume through junk food. Excessive sugar and the accompanying obesity is just one of the harmful junk food facts. For kids to understand the importance of a healthy diet, they should be informed of the health problems associated with the intake of junk food. Let us take a look at some of the junk food facts, in the following paragraphs. Junk foods are known for the high amount of sugar present in them. A single cola can contains a staggering 10 teaspoons of sugar. Thus, people who are in the 'dieting mode' should think twice even before sipping colas. Other foods which contain high amounts of sugar include chocolates, cakes, biscuits, etc. More next week only in The Courier

Friday, June 24, 2011

Hot Garlic Dressing THIS dressing is so rich and is great with tender greens that are hearty.

INGREDIENTS 1/3 Cup Olive Oil 4 Garlic Cloves (minced) 1/4 Cup Cider Vinegar 1/4 Teaspoon Salt Pinch of Freshly Ground Black Pepper

PREPARATION:

Hot Bacon Dressing

1. Heat oil and garlic in a small saucepan over moderate heat until fragrant, about 1 minute. 2. Stir in vinegar and immediately pour over greens. 3. Season with salt and pepper and toss well (you know what they meanâ&#x20AC;Ś).

INGREDIENTS 1/2 Pound Bacon (8 slices) 1/4 Cup Water 1/4 Cup Cider Vinegar Salt 1/4 Teaspoon Freshly Cracked Black Pepper

HOW TO DO IT: 1. in a large skillet over medium heat cook bacon until crisp. 2. Transfer the bacon onto paper towels with a slotted spoon to drain. 3. from the skillet pour off all but 2 tablespoons of the fat. 4. Whisking constantly, for 1 minute, add the water and vinegar to the skillet and simmer. 5. Add salt to taste and pepper. 6. Crumble the bacon into dressing just before serving. 7. Eatâ&#x20AC;Ś

Cider Vinegar

COOKING TIP NO.1 Salad Greens Any dressing especially hot dressings will wilt your salad greens very very quickly so put the dressing on the plates just before you serve them to your guests. You want the plates to still look pretty although they will still taste amazing.

COOKING TIP NO.2

IF you can track down the cider vinegar that is found in natural food stores, then buy those. They taste much better than the sort of cider vinegar that is found in our local markets. These products will always make anything you make taste a lot better which in turn makes you seem like a better cook.

Friday, June 24, 2011

10 HOT HAIR-CARE TIPS FOR SUMMER

The importance of taking care of one's crowning glory goes beyond the choices in products and treatments. It takes more than a dollop of shampoo and conditioner to bring out those lustrous locks. With proper maintenance and guidance from the tips below, achieving a healthy head of hair comes easy and fuss-free. Go for it, girls! procedure can also shield your hair from chlorine found in swimming pools. Wear a hat if you are spending the day outdoors.

Protect the hair before using heat-based styling tools. 7. If you need to use a flat iron or curling iron, apply products that are designed to protect your hair against the heat from these devices. A protective serum can ensure that the hair fibers are not scorched during the process.

Gently blot the hair when it's wet using a microfiber towel. 8. Rough handling of the hair after washing only results in more tangles. Wet hair dries easily by blotting it with a microfiber towel,

Healthy hair starts with a healthy diet.

Treat the hair to deep conditioning every week.

1. A well-balanced diet contributes to your hair's healthy state. The hair follicles absorb vitamins and nutrients from the food we eat, ensuring the steady growth of stronger hair.

4. Pamper your hair to a deep conditioning treatment every week as therapy for the wear and tear it receives. The constant use of styling products and the exposure to the elements are harsh to hair, leaving it brittle. Deep conditioning the hair will fully moisturize each strand.

Wash your hair regularly to eliminate build up of oil and dirt. 2. Dust and oil can accumulate in the scalp but regular washing can prevent buildup. Use shampoo and conditioner that is meant for the type of scalp you have. An oily scalp needs a more thorough washing than a dry scalp.

Apply conditioner after every shampoo. 3. Shampoo tends to strip off some of the natural oils that are good for the hair. Conditioners moisturize the hair with special ingredients that are beneficial for both the hair and scalp. Doing this will keep the hair soft and shiny as well.

Never use a brush or finetoothed comb to wet hair. 5. The hair is at its weakest state when it's wet. To help get rid of the tangles after washing, use a wide-toothed comb starting at the ends and slowly working your way up. This technique can prevent the delicate strands from breaking.

Use sun protection, not just for the skin, but for the hair as well. 6. Sweltering temperatures can be detrimental to the hair. Before going to the beach, wash the hair with lots of conditioner to protect it from the sun's rays. The same

which can absorb the wetness quickly.

Choose a hairdresser that understands your hair's needs. 9. It's difficult to find a salon with a reputable stylist these days. A professional hairdresser knows what works best for the state of your hair. Be careful, though. Some hairdressers are only interested in recommending endless throngs of products, so it's better to avoid such stylists and establishments.

Drink plenty of water to hydrate your body. 10. One of the best ways to keep your hair and skin moisturised is by sticking to the recommended daily water intake of eight glasses. Always keep a water bottle handy so you can take a sip anytime.

Friday, June 24, 2011

MOVING ABROAD IS GOOD FOR YOU (you don’t have to tell us..!)

WATER IS THE KEY TO A HEALTHY LIFE Do you know that clean drinking water is considered the most powerful healing substance known to us? WATER is not only beneficial, but absolutely vital to our survival. You could survive for several weeks without food, but would perish in days without water. This is because your body is made up of 70% water, and without it the body cannot operate. Water plays an enormous role in how well your body functions. Simply put the more fresh water you drink, the healthier you become. Water not only increases the quality but also the length of your life. Water helps to relieve or prevent lower back pain, headaches, migraines, asthma, allergies, colitis, hypertension, depression, muscle and joint pain, constipation, bloating, low energy levels, confusion and disorientation.

MORE and more Brits are considering the expat life than ever before with austerity measures and gloom about the economy creating a desire to move abroad,. New research shows with over half, 54%, of people aged 18 to 45 who took part in the latest research from Aviva say that they would consider leaving the country. Around 46% of people are considering a permanent move compared to last year’s 39%. One in five or 21% of people remain more cautious and would only be prepared to go for between one and three years. The study shows that the UK economy is playing a role in this trend. Nine out of ten, 89%, respondents believe the last three years has seen a decline in the UK job market, with a further 54% admitting the government cuts have adversely affected their lifestyle. Over half, 54%, of people claim this is a key trigger to them considering a move abroad. The long winter has also taken its toll, with 45% motivated to move abroad by the promise of a better climate. A further 31% believe a healthier, less stressful and more varied lifestyle awaits them, while 33% are hoping for a better quality of work/life balance. When asked about their concerns, a quarter, 25%, were worried they might have worse benefits abroad. And, 37% think they would have less state funded privileges. Health still appears to be a key concern for people considering a move abroad. Just over a third say the NHS is one of the things they would miss the most.

Summer Sleep Tips WARMER weather is great for everything — except your beauty sleep. As many as 76% of us find it harder to snooze at this time of year, according to a recent study, while researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Madison School of Medicine and Public Health in the US have discovered that this sleep deprivation can negatively affect our levels of energy and concentration.

These tips can help you sleep during summer: Long, light evenings are meant for enjoying, but ensure you have at least an hour of quiet time before bed. The summer sun can rise at 3.30am, which may wake you. Invest in an eye mask or heavy curtains. Stay cool. If you're too warm, you'll find it harder to drop off or will wake up sooner. Swap your duvet for a lower tog, or use just a sheet on warmer evenings.

This is compared to a quarter, 25%, saying the same last year. Almost a half, 46% of respondents think the UK has better health benefits than other countries worldwide. This prompted six in 10, 59%, to say that they would factor health insurance into their planning. By contrast, 38% of people would not arrange any sort of health insurance before they moved. ‘When times are tough, it might seem natural to set one’s sights on moving abroad. But our survey shows that there are certainly pros and cons to moving and people need to plan carefully if they are considering making their dream a reality,’ said Teresa Rogers, business lead for International PMI at Aviva. ‘Health is clearly a primary concern for people and whether you’re thinking of moving abroad for a short time or on a more permanent basis you need to take care to ensure you and your family are always properly protected,’ she explained. ‘Healthcare provision varies greatly around the world and even routine medical care can prove costly in countries that don’t offer a similar service to the NHS. Although it’s very encouraging that over half of the people we spoke to would consider taking out international health insurance, over a third, 39%, would sort their health insurance out only once they’ve arrived. This could leave them in a difficult position should the worst happen,’ she added.

It also maintains muscle tone, weight loss and a clear healthy skin. Further more, it regulates body temperature, removes toxins and waste as well as assisting in digestion, absorption of food and transportation of oxygen and nutrients to the cells.

How much water do you need? JUST because you do not feel thirsty does not mean you are drinking enough fluids. On a daily basis, we need between 1.5- 2 litres of water, that is between 8 and 12 glasses a day. That might seem a lot but consider this, your body losses up to 12 cups of water per day in sweating, breathing and urination. Requirements vary of course: if you exercise or if the weather is hot, you sweat and need to increase your intake. Pure water is the best way to hydrate your body. Beverages that contain water are not good enough. Juice, coffee, tea, soda etc counter the positive effects of pure water, some, in fact may also be unhealthy. Caffeine drinks such as coffee and cola are diuretics, stimulating your kidneys to expel water, while alcoholic drinks actually dehydrate the body. The food you eat also has an important effect on your overall water intake. Vegetables such as watermelons and tomatoes can contain up to 95% water, while meat can contain up to 75%. Even dry food such as bread contains as much as 38% water. A well balanced diet supplemented with at least 8 glasses of water will ensure that your body receives the optimum levels of water to remain efficient and healthy.

How to drink enough water IT may be difficult to drink enough water on a busy day. Be sure to have water around at all times by keeping a bottle of water with you when you are working, exercising or travelling. If you get bored with drinking water, add a slice of lemon or lime for a touch of flavour. Do not wait until you are thirsty before you drink. The thirst reflex is the last signal of excessive dehydration. By the time you become thirsty, the damage has already been done. Constantly drink throughout the day!

Friday, June 24, 2011

WHY STAYING COOL IS ALL THE RAGE... Hot cars mean hot tempers, say experts By DAVE (red rag to a) BULL

PUT A SHIELD IN YOUR WINDOWS

SUMMER driving can be a really raise the temperature inside the car (in more ways than one) so what you really need to do is make your car summer-proof. Aside from the constant shrieks of your kids (or parents) inside the car, summer driving can get you really hot under the collar. This would be the reason you are so grumpy behind the wheel (seen Donna Gee on the road…?). Now, what you thought would be a good time to relax could be a summer of stress, road rage, and other ‘hot’ behaviours. However, the experts tell us that preparing your car and practicing relaxing driving habits would make a huge difference to giving you a pleasant drive - and your passengers possibly. So here we’ve put together all the top tips for staying cool when all around you is steaming up. (does not apply to doggers of course).

TRY leaving your car in an open lot all day and the temperature inside can get to boiling point. You’re lucky if your car is outfitted with a sun blocking equipment in the windshield. But if not, try bringing a towel or cardboard with you to put in the windshield when there is no time to find a shaded parking lot. Keep in mind that extreme temperature can damage the dash and the fabrics inside your car. So, make it a point to bring a shield to keep the interior cool.

under a shade at all times. If it’s impossible to find a shaded lot, then try to park your car in such a way that the sun comes in from the back window. This way the front seats, dash, and steering wheel won’t be too hot.

TINT THE WINDOWS

TINTING keeps the interior cool greatly as it keeps sunlight from getting in directly inside. However, there are states that prohibit tinting the front windows and other states allow tinting but only to a certain degree. As such, it’s important to know the rules in your state first before applying tint to your windows. (By the way – your kids will think you are a tad nearer ‘cool’ too).

Try to park under a tree

FIRSTLY, FIND GOOD PARKING OBVIOUSLY, parking under a shade will keep your car cool. Have you ever experienced getting inside your car at high noon after leaving it parked in an open parking lot? Then you must have dreaded the moment you need to climb in your over-hot car. To avoid such scenario, make it a point to park your car

KEEP THE A/C IN GOOD SHAPE NOTHING can be more comforting than a cold air brushing against your face when driving under the scorching sun. This could be possible with the fully functional air conditioning system in your car. But when any of its components is damaged, particularly the auto AC, expect to get reduced air flow. When this happens, it’s critical that replacement is secured at once. So, keep it cool inside your car by following these simple tips. You may love the summer sun for the opportunity to hit the beach and get that perfect tan, but it’s a totally different story when it is the sun that keeps you from driving comfortably to the ocean. Help your car stay cool during the summer, and everything else will be easy and cosy for you.

OUT ON THE 5th EVERY MONTH

Friday, June 24, 2011

AND DON’T FORGET THE KIDS AND PETS! Pay Extra Attention to Kids and Pets IT always bears repeating that the temperature extremes inside parked vehicles during summer make cars and trucks dangerous, if not deadly places for youngsters and pets. You should never, ever leave a child in your vehicle, even with the windows down. When the outside temperature is 28 degrees Celsius, and your window is down 5 centimetres, the temperature inside your car can reach 43 degrees Celsius in just 15 minutes. Parents sometimes have trouble getting little ones into hot car seats. A couple in Las Vegas invented its own "cool" solution. Using frozen gel packets, their Kool Seat attaches onto a child seat when the child isn't sitting there. The frozen gel packs help counter the rising heat and keep the seat and metal buckles cool to the touch, says Brian Kale, whose wife invented the patent-pending Kool Seat.

Obviously, the same extreme temperature conditions inside vehicles can also injure or even kill animals. The RSPCA urges you to never leave your pet unattended inside a vehicle. And whenever you travel with your pet, have drinking water and, preferably, ice cubes with you so your dog or cat does not get dehydrated. The society says ice cubes are "easier on your pet than large amounts of water." And you should never have your dog ride in the back of a pickup truck either it is illegal in Spain.

Heat-Beating Choices for Your Next Car CONSIDER buying a lightcolour car with a light interior if you don't have one. Light colours don't absorb heat as much as black and other dark colours do. The National Safe Kids Campaign estimated that a car with a white interior can heat up inside to 57 degrees Celsius on a 26-degree day, while the temperature inside a car with a

black interior could go as high as 89 degrees, yes Celsius. If the heat really becomes an issue and your new-car budget isn't constrained, you can look into some new models that offer built-in sunshades for the rear window and, in some cases, the rear doors. Audi's A8 and the Mercedes-Benz S-Class, for example, have power sunshades on the rear window. The shades go up and down with the touch of a button on the dashboard. There also are attached sunshades on the rear doors of the A8 and S-Class. They're made of a fine netting material. Back-seat riders can raise and lower these shades manually. And for driver-seat comfort in hot weather, consider ventilated driver and front-passenger seats, pioneered by Saab. They cool the driver and the privileged front passenger's posteriors via vents and a fan built into the leather seat cushion. It's similar to the kind of driver seat system used in some commercial trucks.

JAGUARS reign again in Spain, that’s plain THE Jaguar Enthusiasts’ Club has just been revived in Spain. First meeting took place on June 4 at the El Faro Restaurant, near Santa Pola on the Costa Blanca. The JEC is the largest Jaguar Club in the world, with 65 regions in the UK and represented in 23 countries. Members receive an award-winning 132-page glossy magazine every month. Plus the best support, service and technical advice departments in the industry. The first meeting in Spain attracted 20 cars, mostly classics, and 40 people.

Supported by Mundicar Alicante - the main Jaguar dealer - it has both Spanish and English members. JEC provides a Worldwide 'Friendly Forum' for all SS, Jaguar and Daimler enthusiasts.

For more details check out the website www.jec.org.uk In Spain, The Jaguar Enthusiasts Club is organised by Eric Arnold who can be contacted by email barberic@terra.es or by phone on 609931647.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Boney M

The single was recorded and produced by Frank Farian and the group was then put together to perform the song on TV and in discos.

IF you are looking for some great entertainment this weekend, get yourselves down to Entre Naranjas where you will find the Inn at the Green with John and Carol.

The arrival of Boney M as a Euro-disco group signalled major success for Farian, whose cleverly edited music and striking sound effects led to worldwide hits like Rasputin, Daddy Cool, Ma Baker, Brown Girl in the Ring, Rivers of Babylon and Holiday.

I called in this week to see what they have got planned and it’s a great line up. Tonight they have Red Strokes, a fantastic country/rock guitarist with a tribute to Garth Brookes, then on Saturday they have Stars & Stripes with a tribute to Elvis and Tina Turner I’ve seen this show a few times now and its absolutely amazing, with Mally doing an Elvis and a rock ‘n roll set, then Maureen who’s got to be the best Tina Turner tribute I’ve seen any-

where. So pop in there this weekend and say ‘hi’ – they are a friendly bunch down there. Carol will be working hard behind the bar and John will be running round trying to look busy. (That’s me barred for life!). Another fantastic show coming up features the legendary Boney M, brought to Spain by Ticketplanner. Put the date Saturday July 2 in your diaries because you will not want to miss the legends of the ‘70s and ‘80s in their summer concert. The shows in The Concert Suite at La Zenia Hotel. Sheyla Bonnick is the group’s longest-serving member, having been with Boney M since 1975. Jamaica-born, she was raised in the UK but in the early ‘70s went to Germany with her friend Maize Williams to seek fame and fortune. In December 1974 the two girls were asked by an agent if they were interested in fronting a new disco group for performances of a new record called Baby Do You Wanna Bump.

The band has enjoyed successful tours around the world including many TV appearances, product promotions, studio assignments and live performances in the UK, Poland, America, Russia, Ukraine, France, Spain and Malaysia just to name a few!! Tickets, priced at 22 Euros, 25 Euros and VIP 35 Euro, are on sale online at www.ticketplanner.es or pop in to Easy Ads La Zenia. The entrance fee includes a meet and greet with Sheyla Bonnick for a photo and album sign. Well that’s me finished for another week so if you’re a bar or an entertainer and want to appear in the gig guide or you have any events coming up that you would like me to tell everyone about, then please contact me by email on mandy@starsinbars.org or call me on 685302529 or just visit my website www.starsinbars.org

Mandy

DATE

VENUE

ACT/ EVENT

OTHER INFO

FRIDAY 24th

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca Bar Rosa in Los Montesinos Rusty Nail in Campoverde Cheers Bar in Eagles Nest Los Belgas in Gran Alacant Diablo’s in Cabo Roig Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Italian Stallion in Via Park V

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Lynden B Ern E King Showaddywaddy Legends Bob Marley Tribute Bingo with Deano Red Strokes Jon Summer

Starting at 10pm Comedy Show

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca Lodosol in San Pedro Novo Cathago in Los Alcazares Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Los Belgas in Gran Alacant Cheers Bar in Eagles Nest The Odd Couple in Benimar II Rose & Crown in Playa Flamenca Bar Vittos in San Pedro Bar Sioux in Gran Alacant

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Debbie Slater Lynden B Stars & Stripes Rolling Stones Tribute Karaoke with DJ Rick Lorna Michelle Terry Jay B.J.Bluesman Steve Finn

Starting at 10pm

Pablo’s International bar in La Florida Snug Bar in Torre de la Horredada Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Bar Liquid in Cabo Roig Casa Ventura in San Luis Billy’s Bar in El Chaparral Cheers Bar in Eagles nest Smiling Jacks in Cabo Roig Flannigan’s in Cabo Roig

Starting at 8pm

SATURDAY 25th

SUNDAY 26th

Starting at 7pm

Comedy Show Elvis & Tina Turner tribute

Starting at 9.30pm

MONDAY 27th

Flannigan’s in Cabo Roig Judges Chambers in Playa Flamenca Chicken Shack in San Luis

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Steve Finn Cabaroke with Matt Christian Cabaroke with Bono Fun Music Quiz with Lynden B Karaoke with Dodgy Div Mark Bailey Terry Jay Andy McBride B4 Terry Jay B.J Bluesman

TUESDAY 28th

Inn at the green in Entre Naranjos Bar Rosa in Los Montesinos Arches in Los Alcazares Marina Sol in Cabo Roig Camping International in La Marina

Kens Quiz Quiz night with Darren James Karaoke with Ruby Blues Terry Jay Lynden B

Starting at 9pm

WEDNESDAY 29th

Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Montes Bar in Los Montesinos Restaurant La Boca in Playa Los Locos Cheers bar In Eagles Nest Billy’s Bar in El Chaparral The Arches in Los Alcazares Smiling Jack’s in Cabo Roig

Crazy Bingo with Spike Fun Music Quiz B.J Bluesman Quiz Night Chilli-oke with Peter Jay J.J Soulman Terry Jay

Starting at 4pm Starting at 9pm

THURSDAY 30th

Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Sisoma Romana in Dona Pepa The Priory in El Galan Flannigan’s in Cabo Roig Cheers Bar in Eagles Nest Molino in La Zenia

Fun Music Quiz with Lynden B Tony Lincoln Lenny Mitchell Stevie Spit Protocol Ern E King

Starting at 5pm Starting at 5pm & BBQ Michael Buble Tribute Starting at 10pm Starting at 10.30pm Live band starting at 10.30pm Starting at 10pm

Starting at 7pm Starting at 3pm

Starting at 10pm

Starting at 9.30pm Comedy Drag Show

Friday, June 24, 2011

TKO NEWS

PETER ANDRE LIVE ON TKO!! Peter Andre will be live with TKO media group, across both stations on Friday July 1st. Alex Trelinski will be chatting to Peter about his forthcoming Spanish tour, new music and how much he´s looking forward to meeting TKO listeners when he´s here. Peter is appearing at the Bullring Benidorm on July 20th and a very few tickets are still available from ticketmaster.com

HOT GOSSIP

Possible team up - Paul McCartney & Gorillaz! Paul McCartney has explained that he has previously spoken to Gorillaz about a possible collaboration. Gorillaz have worked with some of the biggest names in the music industry. Returning with their third album 'Plastic Beach' last year, the band managed to recruit everyone from Lou Reed to Bobby Womack, Mark E Smith to Snoop Dogg. However one pop force remains out of their reach. Paul McCartney has yet to appear on record with Gorillaz, but in a recent interview the former Beatle admitted that talks have taken place. Paul McCartney explained that the two parties have discussed a possible collaboration. "We have kind of talked, nothing serious but I like what they do. It's got near a couple of times but we never had the time." Little wonder. Gorillaz released a total of two albums last year, in between the most ambitious tour they have ever undertaken. Paul McCartney meanwhile, is almost always on the road and recently visited South America. Currently celebrating the expansive re-issue of his twin solo albums 'McCartney' / 'McCartney II' the singer could yet work with Gorillaz. A 'source' told The Sun that the rumours could have some substance: "Damon originally brought up the idea of doing something with Gorillaz at the Q Awards (in 2007) and they have been trying to sort something since. It never worked out on the last album, 'Plastic Beach', but things are looking good for something in the future."

TKO Gold Featured Artist CLARENCE CLEMONS CLARENCE CLEMONS, best known for being a saxophonist for Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band passed away on Saturday at age 69 after he suffered complications from a stroke he suffered just one week prior. Members of the band were called to his bedside at the time. Clemons has suffered from nagging back and knee pain in the past. Months ago, a recent tour he did with The Band was “hell” because of health issues. Since then, he underwent a spinal fusion and two knee replacement surgeries and took physical therapy to regain his strength and stamina. “As long as my mouth, hands and brain still work I’ll be out there doing it,” “I’m going to keep going ’til I’m not there anymore. That is what’s keeping me alive and feeling young and inspired.” Shortly after Clemons suffered the his health situation was so dire that members of the E Street Band were advised to get down to Florida as soon as possible. Not only did Clemons play with the E Street Band, but he recently worked with pop sensation Lady Gaga on her hit album Born this Way, and even performed with her during the season finale of FOX’s American Idol in May. Shortly after Clemons’ death, Springsteen released a statement looking back at Clemons’ life and contributions to the band: “His loss is immeasurable and we are honored and thankful to have known him and had the opportunity to stand beside him for nearly 40 years. He was my great friend, my partner, and with Clarence at my side, my band and I were

able to tell a story far deeper than those simply contained in our music. His life, his memory, and his love will live on in that story and in our band.” Clemons last performed with the E Street Band in December of last year. Since the death of Clemons has come to life, many stars such as Janet Jackson, Michael Moore, Seth Meyers, and others have tweeted their condolences. “Clarence Clemons was a wonderful talent. He will be on my mind tonight,” Janet Jackson said. Actor Rob Lowe tweeted, ““Clarence Clemons was an electric, generous, sweet spirit. Taught me how to look cool with a sax. Goodbye Big Man ” Tom Morello, the former Rage Agains the Machine guitarist wrote, “Thank you so much Big Man for sweetening the sound of our planet with your sax and your soul.”

WIN A MEAL FOR TWO AND WINE AT QUESADA FISH & CHIPS POP QUIZ June 24 1 Who sang Bang Bang? 2 Which band released Concrete & Clay? 3 Which female singer had hits with I Feel For You & Im Every Woman? 4 Who knew that there were 9 million bicycles in Bejing ? 5 Which vocal group sang Georgie Girl? 6 Who sang I.O.U in 1983? 7 Calling All The Heroes was a hit for which group? 8 These bearded rockers were Sharp Dressed Men… 9 Tomorrows People was a hit for this son of a famous reggae artist.. FIND THE KEY WORD AND TO TAKE PART LISTEN TO CHRIS ASHLEY'S SHOW ON TKO GOLD, SATURDAY MORNINGS, 9am to 12 noon CHRIS WILL ASK YOU TO TEXT OR EMAIL THE KEY WORD AND THIS WEEK’S WINNING ANSWER WILL BE ANNOUNCED.

Friday, June 24, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week’s puzzle, 23 represents N and 24 represents K, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

Across 1 Portable computer (6) 5 Monitor (6) 8 Neckerchief (8) 9 In the distance (4) 10 Rascal (3) 12 Provide (5) 15 Allow (3) 17 Hearing organ (3) 18 Unwell (3) 19 Female sheep (3) 20 Pungent (5) 21 Appropriate (3)

22 Verve (3) 23 Precious stone (3) 24 Ball holder (3) 26 Part (5) 29 First rate (3) 33 Be unsuccessful (4) 34 Good company (8) 35 Harsh (6) 36 Colour (6) Down 2 Frighten (5) 3 Neat (4) 4 Black and white bear (5) 5 Serpent (5) 6 Growl (4)

7 Rub out (5) 10 Incompetent (5) 11 Annoy (5) 12 Spasm (5) 13 Abrupt (5) 14 Edge (5) 15 South American animal (5) 16 Name (5) 25 Avoid (5) 27 Give out (5) 28 Overconfident (5) 30 Stringed instrument (5) 31 Run away (4) 32 Telephone (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Forests, 5 Folds, 8 Recipes, 9 Cruel, 10 Haste, 11 Eastern, 12 Copied, 14 Statue, 17 Breathe, 19 Clasp, 22 React, 23 Abiding, 24 There, 25 Treason. Down: 1 Forth, 2 Races, 3 Supreme, 4 Sister, 5 Faces, 6 Loudest, 7 Silence, 12 Cabaret, 13 Prepare, 15 Tactile, 16 Depart, 18 Titre, 20 Adios, 21 Pagan.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 7 Fix up extremely remarkable couple (6) 8 Raise a right row for a commotion (6) 9 Be eating the thing making for a light meal (4) 10 In casual shirt about Prince I’d be fearless (8) 11 Calls for more or scene changes (7) 13 Cathy’s replacement vessel (5) 15 The females started walk out, chaps (5) 17 Ruddy convert did hers (7) 20 Dismantle a tub, late and make a table (8) 21 Stop to get some tobacco (4) 22 Rinses out lures (6) 23 Labour leader left West African country for the peninsula (6)

Down 1 Not all umpires ignore call to quit (6) 2 Novice leads expert in tie (4) 3 Commended form of despair (7) 4 It is bogus to encompass enthusiasm (5) 5 Carte blanche for an unpaid employee (4,4) 6 Salad vegetable which is hard to chop up (6) 12 Sue drove terribly because she was worn out (8) 14 Cook the rice for the nonconformist (7) 16 Wild animals but it’s all right a park exists (6) 18 Is put off by Penny, which is daft (6) 19 Wood from tribal saplings (5) 21 Anyway take a sly look (4)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Quit (6) 2 Do up (4) 3 Admired (7) 4 Enthusiasm (5) 5 Complete discretion (4,4) 6 Edible root (6) 12 Worn-out (8) 14 Dissenter (7) 16 Giraffe-like animal (6) 18 Unintelligent (6) 19 Light weight wood (5) 21 Steal a look (4)

Across 7 Mend (6) 8 Tumult (6) 9 Sink your teeth into (4) 10 Fearless (8) 11 Reappearances (7) 13 Boat (5) 15 Ladies (5) 17 Ruddy (7) 20 Put into a table (8) 21 Stopper (4) 22 Warning signals (6) 23 European peninsula (6)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Base, 3 Knockers, 9 Rollers, 10 Incas, 11 Bingo, 12 Ardour, 14 Rotund, 16 Fasten, 19 Muscle, 21 Dwelt, 24 Loner, 25 Recluse, 26 Assisted, 27 Beta. Down: 1 Beriberi, 2 Salon, 4 Nassau, 5 Cried, 6 Encrust, 7 So-so, 8 Bemoan, 13 Anathema, 15 Truants, 17 Addict, 18 Dear me, 20 Cords, 22 Educe, 23 Flea.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

3 letter words Ale Bid End Lad Oar Old Pre Pro Rib Roe She SOS Tow Ups

4 letter words Ammo Been Dais Isle Pops Rubs 5 letter words Anise Ewers Holes Sabre Sided State Union

Voter 6 letter words Amoral Arable Dapple Eleven Impede Seesaw Spouse Worsen 7 letter words Suspend Useless

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 7 Palacio (6) 8 Líder (6) 9 Nothing (4) 10 Pepper (vegetable) (8) 11 Pluma (de ave) (7) 13 To drink (5) 15 Skiing (5) 17 Lechuga (7) 20 Silbidos (con los labios) (8) 21 To praise (4) 22 Lapel (6) 23 Abbots (6)

Down 1 Desfile (6) 2 For (intended for or going to) (4) 3 Afterward (7) 4 Llama (de fuego) (5) 5 Acera (8) 6 Hervidor (6) 12 Jueves (8) 14 Monthly (7) 16 Escuela (colegio) (6) 18 Capilla (religioso) (6) 19 Limpio (casa, cuarto) (5) 21 Plomo (metal) (4)

Friday, June 24, 2011 Across 7 According to Greek mythology, what was the name of the old man who ferried the souls of the dead across the River Styx? (6) 8 Dorothy who starred in the Bob Hope, Bing Crosby ‘Road’ films? (6) 10 Tallinn is the capital of which Baltic country? (7) 11 What type of (kidskin) leather has the flesh side rubbed to make a velvety nap? (5) 12 Zn is the chemical symbol for which metallic element? (4) 13 In Coronation Street, what was Stan and Hilda’s surname? (5) 17 What was the surname of the German-born musician who, in 1858, founded an orchestra in Manchester that bears his name? (5) 18 Which staff of office lies on the table in the House of Commons when the Speaker is in the chair? (4) 22 What was the title of Lulu’s first UK Top 10 hit single? (5) 23 Which daughter of King Minos fell in love with Theseus and gave him a thread in order to find his way out of the Minotaur’s labyrinth? (7) 24 Which number is represented by the letters XI in Roman numerals? (6)

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

25 Which rock group consisted of Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland? (6) Down 1 What name is given to a vigorous, light, or playful com-

position, typically comprising a movement in a symphony or sonata? (7) 2 Which cocktail is made from gin and dry vermouth? (7) 3 Which 1690 battle is celebrated annually by Protestants in Northern Ireland on July 12? (5) 4 In the children’s television programme The Herbs, what was the name of the friendly lion? (7) 5 In golf what name is given to a score of one stroke over par at a hole? (5) 6 Which is the first sign of the zodiac? (5) 9 David Coverdale replaced who as lead singer of Deep Purple in 1973? (3,6) 14 Which creature is known as a puma or jaguar in North America? (7) 15 Stanley who was British prime minister three times between 1923 and 1937? (7) 16 Which Phoenician princess was denounced by Elijah for introducing the worship of Baal into Israel? (7) 19 Which Test cricket ‘trophy’ is contested by England and Australia? (5) 20 Which Greek poet was the author of the Iliad and the Odyssey? (5) 21 Which industrial city in eastern France north of Lyons is famous for its mustard? (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH La Playa - The Beach Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below) 1. el barco, 2. el mar, 3. el remo,

17. las algas, 18. la canoa, 19.

k. bucket, l. spade, m. seaweed,

4. el faro, 5. la pala, 6. el cubo,

el acantilado, 20. el sombrero,

n. lighthouse, o. net, p. oar,

7. la sombrilla, 8. la bandera,

21. las olas.

q. crab, r. flippers, s. sea,

music QUIZ

t. seagull, u. beach chair.

11. la tumbona, 12. el pez,

a. cliff, b. flag, c. donkey, d. boat,

13. el burro, 14. las aletas,

e. shell, f. umbrella, g. fish,

15. la concha, 16. la red,

h. canoe, i. waves, j. hat,

1. Which composer wrote The Water Music? 2. In Pop music, which two herbs go with 'Parsley & Sage'? 3. Which land did Puff The Magic Dragon live in? 4. What word means gradually getting louder and louder? 5. What is the name of the Russian stringed instrument with a triangular body? 6. Which musical instrument derived it name from the Italian words for soft and loud? 7. Who is the Greek god of music? 8. Who wrote the opera Madam Butterfly? 9. Which US city hosted the 1985 Live Aid concert? 10. How many valves does a trumpet have? 1. Handel, 2. Rosemary and Thyme - Scarborough fair, 3. Honalee, 4. Crescendo, 5. Balalaika, 6. Piano or pianoforte, 7. Apollo, 8. Puccini (1896), 9. Philadelphia, 10. 3

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across:7 Hermes, 8/9 Bolton wanderers, 10 Swansea, 11 Serge, 12 Lair, 13 Idaho, 17 Sorry, 18 Polo, 22/25 Death Valley, 23 Rutland, 24 Empire. Down: 1 Thistle, 2 Croatia, 3 Welsh, 4 Borscht, 5 U-turn, 6 Andes, 14 Yoghurt, 15 Coracle, 16 Dogdays, 19 Adder, 20 Zappa, 21 Stoat.

CONCHA S P UA J B X C RB J T RV I S L T A OV P A CA NT I L B MQOL MV UA DB X GE R R K MA Z T R X V U WE A OP NT L S D P F OA A RB T U J A MZ X G WZ A F H D A RE DNA B K E P UP CJ Soduko

UHA CGNS B O L A A WO G R A MN N H V Z W GB B GOP S K A DORJ A I I P S A E I Z X S A L P J T L OI GGA OOML B C U B O B M WA E RQRI DE H F E E A OV P R A RCF K L X G OR ME MGA C NDCT UI J S V RA ONA CR Span - Eng

Answers: 1d, 2s, 3p, 4n, 5l, 6k, 7f, 8b, 9q, 10t, 11u, 12g, 13c, 14r, 15e, 16o, 17m, 18h, 19a, 20j, 21i,

9. el cangrejo, 10. la gaviota,

ACANTILADO

GAVIOTA

ALETAS

MAR

ALGAS

OLAS

BANDERA

PALA

BARCO

PEZ

BURRO

RED

CANGREJO

REMO

CANOA

SOMBRERO

CONCHA

SOMBRILLA

CUBO

TUMBONA

FARO Quizword

Fill It In

Friday, June 24, 2011

FEELING GUILTY

Dear Tia Maria My name is Julia and last week my Nan died. I have not spoken to any of my family for 2 years as Well, we just don't get on. My mother was always trying to spend my Nan's money and so I went to live with Nan to try and protect her. Nan had changed her will to leave me everything including her house and now she is gone I am so desperately sad but, I know its only going to get worse. My Mum has been in touch everyday and I am sad for her as she has lost her Mum. I feel guilty all the time as I think she is only in touch for the money. I would like her back in my life but at what price is that going to be? Please help. JULIA Hi Julia I am so sorry for the loss of your Nan. I have to say well done to start off, you have been in a very difficult situation with your Nan and your Mum. Families are difficult things to juggle sometimes and it sounds like you have had a real job on your hands here. You could try just having an open mind, I know there have been problems before and people do take advantage of others, with this in mind, your Mum has just lost her mother and this could have made her think about your relationship. I hope this is the case. I do say one, thing take your time with any official things, you are grieving for a loved one and maybe it would be good to have to sometime to yourself to think clearly before making any decisions about what to do next. I hope this helps. Tia Maria

NO EMOTION Dear Tia Maria I have been married to a wonderful woman for 5 years, she so kind and considerate when it comes to me and I do love her. However, sometimes, I feel she isolates herself and is in a world of her own. When ever we get sad or shocking news, she never seems to show any emotion at these times.

She says the reason for this is her emotions have never been considered before me, so she has hidden them away and learnt not to think about them. She always pleases others and as time goes on I see that she never does consider anything should be for her. How can I help her realise she is important enough and worthy of feelings? Thanks Hi I am sure you give your wife lots of love and support. The best way you can support her is to ask how she is feeling, one way to get someone to understand how feelings feel, is if you help describe how something makes you feel. For example I feel sad, I feel like there is a black cloud over my head, I feel happy like the sun is shinny warm on my face. The other thing I think would be good if she is willing is to support her with some CBT therapy, so she can find out from her understanding of life and how things happen, why she feels like this. Please contact our in house therapist Liz Steward for any advice on this, she will be more than happy to help. Thank you for your letter Tia Maria.

ON MY OWN Dear Tia Maria, After five years of being together, my partner left me and our two very young children. I am finding it very hard to cope with day to-day

life and find myself snapping at the children. The worst thing about it all is that now I am completely on my own. I don't really have many reliable friends where I live and no family, only his family who just want me to stay up there because of the children. However my family many miles away are not too reliable either. I am completely on my own, and feel stuck. I can't do anything about it - I can't socialise because I have no one to look after the children. My ex and his family won't. Please help me. I feel completely on my own and I'm so lonely. Thank you for reading my message. Tanya Dear Tanya, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so lonely and unsupported. Break-ups can be very hard at first but it is possible to recover from them and rebuild a happy life. You might like to go to www.gingerbread.org.uk. Gingerbread is the support and social organisation for one-parent families. They offer useful information as well as activities for parents and children. Local religious organisations such as churches, mosques, synagogues and temples can be a good source of support, with a crĂ¨che for little ones and social events for adults. Depending on the ages of your children, you may find there are playgroups, parent and toddler groups,

activities such as, swimming lessons, craft, drama, music, dance, art or sports either there or in community and leisure centres ask at your local town hall and at your library too since events for children often are advertised there.. It could also be worth asking about child-minding circles? All of these offer chances to make new friends both for yourself and for your children. Besides, it can add interest to your life. Friendships are a numbers game. Lots of people like yourself are looking for new friends. Some, of course, are not, which speaks about them, not about you. Therefore it makes sense to initiate conversations with as many as possible to maximise your chances. Friendly overtures such as questions showing interest in the other people's children, helping make the tea or pass round the juice and rusks are all a good start. Around 7 or 8 out of 10 people should respond warmly. You've understandably been feeling angry and upset, and you're aware of the importance of not taking it out on the children however tempted you may feel. It could be that friends can offer you some practical or emotional support as well as a place to meet other parents? All the very best, Tia

Friday, June 24, 2011

WHAT’S ON THE TELLY..?

If you must go indoors this week (escaping the heat maybe?) at least there’s a great line up on TV and with TV listings you’ll get to catch the best programmes all week!

The Kennedys

Glastonbury 2011

The Scheme

Luther

BBC 2 Friday, June 24th, 10:00pm to 10:45pm Greg Kinnear and Katie Holmes star as President John F Kennedy and his wife, Jackie, in Stephen Kronish's compelling drama series, charting the triumph and the tragedy of the first couple. Jack and Bobby try to convince their father that Bobby's being named Attorney General would be a major mistake. Quickly drawn into the Bay of Pigs crisis, virtually all of Jack's advisers - military and civilian - urge him to go ahead with the invasion. JFK is unsure that the plan will work, and he worries that the operation will be linked back to the US - causing major problems with Cuba's ally, the Soviet Union.

BBC 2 Sunday, June 26th, 11:00pm to 3:00am The third and final day of BBC Two's live coverage of the Glastonbury Festival. Jo Whiley, Mark Radcliffe, Zane Lowe and Lauren Laverne present the bootylicious Beyonce, live and direct from the world famous Pyramid Stage. As if that wasn't enough, the programme also features performance highlights from the day, bespoke acoustic performances and a round up and fond look back at the highlights from Glastonbury Festival 2011.

BBC 1 Tuesday, June 28th, 12:35am to 1:25am Documentary series following six different families all living in a large housing scheme in Kilmarnock, offering a snapshot of life in modern day Scotland. One family struggles to cope with its eldest son's addiction, and a tragedy for another family halts plans to reopen the community centre. A single mum tries to keep her daughter on the right track, while a couple prepare for the big annual gardening competition.

BBC1 Tuesday 28 June 9:00pm 10:00pm The detective takes a long-overdue holiday to look after Jenny and help her get back on her own two feet, only for their domestic plans to be interrupted by Ripley with news of a violent attack at a petrol station. To add to Luther's problems, Baba's heavies Frank and Toby continue to make their blackmail demands, which he knows he must follow for Jenny's sake - until he finds a way to exploit the antagonism between the two men.

The Courier Friday TV 00:35 This Week 01:25 Land of the Bandits: Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Britain's Next Big Thing 03:55 Fake Britain 04:40 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Real Rescues 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2011 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 A Question of Sport 22:00 My Family 22:30 Miranda 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show BBC2 00:20 End? 01:20 02:15 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00

Afghanistan: War without The Tudors Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday

05:25 07:00 07:10 07:15 07:30 07:45 07:55 07:55 08:30 08:55 09:00 Show 09:30 09:55 It 10:05 10:15 10:30 Lab 10:45 11:05 11:30 12:30 13:00 16:25 16:50 17:05 17:30 18:00 18:10 18:20 18:50 21:00 22:00 22:45 23:30

Close Wibbly Pig Dip Dap Pinky Dinky Doo Tinga Tinga Tales Octonauts Extreme Animals Leon The Scooby-Doo Show Newsround Basil and Barney's Game

00:45 Odd One In 01:30 The Zone 03:30 British Touring Car Championship 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show Show Me Show Me Bob the Builder: Project Build 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women The Koala Brothers 14:30 ITV News and Weather Guess with Jess 14:55 Meridian News and Weather Nina and the Neurons: In the 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers Big Cook Little Cook 16:59 Meridian Weather Zingzillas 17:00 Midsomer Murders Yesterday at Wimbledon 18:00 Dinner Date Daily Politics 19:00 Meridian Tonight Wimbledon 2011 19:30 ITV News and Weather Prank Patrol Down Under Deadly Art 20:00 Emmerdale Escape from Scorpion Island 20:30 Coronation Street Fee Fi Fo Yum 21:00 Love Your Garden Newsround 21:30 Coronation Street Deadly 60 Bites 22:00 Paul O'Grady Live Copycats 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Wimbledon 2011 Weather Today at Wimbledon 23:30 Meridian Tonight and The Kennedys Weather Glastonbury 2011 23:35 No Reservations Newsnight

FIFTH GEAR Hollywood stunt co-ordinator Vic Armstrong directs a car-chase sequence with Vicki Butler-Henderson, and then teaches her how to perform a rollover. Tiff Needell and Jason Plato test the McLaren MP4-12C supercar against its rival the Ferrari 458 Italia, before the team scrutinises the latest Mercedes CLS to see whether it out-performs its predecessor.

00:05 King Of 00:50 The Film Show 01:25 Style the Nation 01:55 The Album Chart Show 02:10 4Play: Kassidy 02:20 The Model Agency 03:15 The September Issue 04:50 I Hate That Smile 04:55 Hill Street Blues 05:50 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:55 Friends 10:25 Back to You 10:55 Location, Location, Location 11:55 A Place in the Sun 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Kirstie's Homemade Home 14:05 My Eden 14:10 One of Our Aircraft Is Missing 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:25 4thought.tv 20:30 Jamie's 30 Minute Meals 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 22:30 King Of 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

24th June

00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:05 SCXTRA 01:35 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:55 Rough Guide to Activity Holidays 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Castle Farm 07:40 Igam Ogam 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana's Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 13:05 Meals in Moments 13:15 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Inside Hollywood 16:10 Britannic 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Fifth Gear 21:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 22:00 Castle 23:00 Law & Order

The Courier Saturday TV

25th June

00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 The Terminator 02:10 The One Show 03:15 The Animal's Guide to Britain 04:15 Two Greedy Italians 05:15 BBC News 05:30 Five Minutes With 06:00 BBC News 06:30 Our World 07:00 Yesterday at Wimbledon 08:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:35 Rachel Allen: Home Cooking 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:10 Formula 1: The European Grand Prix Qualifying 15:20 Wimbledon 2011 18:30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:50 Shark Tale 20:10 Total Wipeout 21:10 The National Lottery: In It to Win It 22:00 Casualty 22:50 Lee Mack's All Star Cast 23:30 BBC News; Weather 23:50 Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow BBC2 00:05 Glastonbury 2011 03:00 Close 07:00 Wibbly Pig

07:10 Dip Dap 07:15 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:45 Octonauts 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 08:30 Arthur 09:00 Little Howard's Big Question 09:25 Prank Patrol Down Under 09:50 Dennis and Gnasher 10:00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 10:30 Deadly 60 11:00 Relic: Guardians of the Museum 11:30 League of Super Evil 11:40 Wolverine and the X-Men 12:00 Mortified 12:25 The Secret Show 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 Wimbledon 2011 17:00 Glastonbury 2011 18:30 Wimbledon 2011 21:00 Today at Wimbledon 22:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:45 Glastonbury 2011

01:30 The Zone 03:35 The Whole Ten Yards 05:10 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 House Gift 10:25 Coronation Street 12:45 This Morning: Saturday 13:45 The Planet's Funniest Animals 14:45 ITV News and Weather 14:49 Meridian Weather 14:50 Holiday on the Buses 16:30 Never Say Never Again 18:55 Meridian News and Weather 19:05 ITV News and Weather 19:20 You've Been Framed! 20:15 Odd One In 21:00 Penn & Teller: Fool Us 22:00 The Marriage Ref 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 Bridget Jones's Diary

THE MARRIAGE REF A celebrity panel listens to couples' quirky and humorous domestic disputes, weighing up both versions of events before deciding which partner is in the right. Those appearing as panellists during the series include TV presenter Jonathan Ross, singer Geri Halliwell, actress Denise Van Outen and stand-ups Micky Flanagan and Sarah Millican. Dermot O'Leary hosts.

00:05 That Peter Kay Thing 00:40 PhoneShop 01:10 Mercury Prize Sessions 01:30 The Album Chart Show 01:45 4Play: Wolf Gang 02:00 Hollyoaks Music Show 02:25 My Name Is Earl 03:15 The Real Housewives of New Jersey 04:05 Ugly Betty 05:35 Hill Street Blues 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Film Show 08:00 FIM Superbike World Championship 08:25 British Formula 3 International Series 08:55 The Morning Line 09:50 Friends 10:20 Hollyoaks Music Show 10:55 4Play: Alexis Jordan 11:10 Friends 11:40 Jessie J Live in London 12:15 Friends 12:50 Style the Nation 13:50 The Big Bang Theory 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 16:55 Come Dine with Me 19:00 Channel 4 News 19:30 4thought.tv 19:35 The Parent Trap 22:00 Camelot 23:05 Brassed Off

00:00 CSI: Miami 00:55 Inside Hollywood 01:10 SCXTRA 01:40 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Fifth Gear 05:55 Rough Guide to Short Breaks 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 Elmo's World 08:05 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:20 Noddy in Toyland 08:35 Hana's Helpline 08:45 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:50 Little Princess 09:05 Mio Mao 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:20 How Do They Do It? 11:50 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green - At the Ends of the Earth 12:50 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 13:50 7th Cavalry 15:20 Jet Pilot 17:35 Operation Crossbow 19:55 5 News Weekend 20:00 Cricket 20:55 NCIS 21:55 CSI: NY 22:50 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 23:50 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

The Courier Sunday TV

26th June

00:35 Unlawful Entry 02:30 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 British Olympic Dreams 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Yesterday at Wimbledon 08:00 Breakfast 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Sunday Morning Live 12:00 The Politics Show 13:10 Formula 1: The European Grand Prix Live 16:30 EastEnders 18:00 Songs of Praise 18:35 My Family 19:05 Horrible Histories with Stephen Fry

03:00 Close 07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Dip Dap 07:15 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:45 Octonauts 08:00 Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions 08:30 Arthur 08:55 Shaun the Sheep 09:00 Gimme a Break 09:30 Me and My Monsters 10:00 Friday Download 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 Born Yesterday 14:10 When Time Ran Out 16:00 EastEnders 16:30 MotoGP 18:00 Flog It! 18:30 Glastonbury 2011 20:00 The Many Faces of Michael Caine 21:00 Top Gear 22:00 Coast 23:00 Glastonbury 2011

01:05 The Choir That Rocks 02:00 The Zone 04:05 In Plain Sight 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 May the Best House Win 10:25 Dickinson's Real Deal 11:25 60 Minute Makeover 12:30 This Morning: Sunday 13:30 Dinner Date 14:25 ITV News and Weather 14:34 Meridian Weather 14:35 Survival: Tales from the Wild 15:30 Inspector Morse 17:30 Midsomer Murders 19:30 Meridian News and Weather 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 The Royal 21:00 Popstar to Operastar 22:00 Scott & Bailey 23:00 Popstar to Operastar: The Results 23:30 ITV News and Weather 23:44 Meridian Weather 23:45 Wimbledon

SILENT WITNESS

19:35 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:00 Fake or Fortune? 21:00 Countryfile 22:00 Silent Witness 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Hidden Paintings 23:55 Moving On

Part one of two. A university student who has committed suicide is revealed to be the victim of bullying, and concern grows when a gun is discovered in his locker and a memory card in his stomach is found to contain photographs of his tormentors. The team's fears become a reality when a building comes under attack by a rampaging shooter. Guest starring Phyllis Logan. Concludes tomorrow.

01:15 Napoleon Dynamite 02:55 American Splendor 04:40 Bob's Burgers 05:05 Hill Street Blues 05:55 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 The Grid 08:30 That Paralympic Show 08:55 Wretch 32's RockCorps: You Decide 09:20 Style the Nation 09:50 Friends 10:20 Hollyoaks 12:50 Friends 13:20 Scouting for Girls' RockCorps: You Decide 13:40 The Simpsons 14:45 Four in a Bed 17:20 Help! My House Is Falling Down 18:25 Deal or No Deal 19:25 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Four Rooms 21:00 Bride Wars 22:45 The Wedding Date

00:50 Inside Hollywood 01:00 SCXTRA 01:30 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Great Scientists 05:35 HouseBusters 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 Elmo's World 08:05 Chiro 08:10 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:25 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 Hana's Helpline 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 09:40 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 The Milkshake! Show 11:00 Inside Hollywood 11:10 The Restaurant Inspector 12:10 Police Interceptors 13:10 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green - At the Ends of the Earth 14:10 Life with Mikey 15:55 Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol 17:35 Dumb and Dumber 19:45 5 News Weekend 19:50 Where Eagles Dare 23:00 The Glimmer Man

The Courier Monday TV

27th June

00:40 The Quiet American 02:15 The Apprentice 03:15 Holby City 04:15 Britain's Secret Seas 05:15 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Real Rescues 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2011 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Fake Britain 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Surgery's Dirty Secrets Panorama 22:00 Silent Witness 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 A Question of Sport BBC2 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:30 05:00 05:15 06:00 07:00 07:10 07:15 07:30 07:45

Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Newsday The Super League Show Close Wibbly Pig Dip Dap Pinky Dinky Doo Tinga Tinga Tales Octonauts

07:55 Extreme Animals 08:30 The Scooby-Doo Show 08:55 Newsround 09:00 Basil and Barney's Game Show 09:25 Show Me Show Me 09:55 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Guess with Jess 10:30 Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 10:45 Big Cook Little Cook 11:05 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11:10 Little Charley Bear 11:15 Zingzillas 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 13:00 Wimbledon 2011 16:25 Prank Patrol Down Under 16:50 Deadly Art 17:05 Escape from Scorpion Island 17:30 Wimbledon Uncovered: A Blue Peter Special 18:00 Newsround 18:20 Copycats 18:50 Wimbledon 2011 21:00 Today at Wimbledon 22:00 Made In Britain 23:00 James May's Things You Need to Know 23:30 Newsnight

01:30 The Zone 03:00 British Superbike Championship Highlights 03:55 Motorsport UK 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Dinner Date 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Unforgettable Kenny Everett 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Babies Behind Bars 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 First Blood

SIRENS New series. Comedy drama following three world-weary paramedics struggling to sort out their lives. In the first episode, the trio are called to a traffic collision where a young woman has stopped breathing - so one of the team takes the radical decision to give her an open-heart massage. Kayvan Novak (Four Lions), Rhys Thomas (Bellamy's People) and Richard Madden (Game of Thrones) star.

00:25 Steve Coogan: The Man Who Thinks He's It 01:30 Stand Up for the Week 02:15 Chariot Race 03:55 Ancient Egyptians 04:50 Men of Iron 05:45 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:55 Friends 10:25 Back to You 10:55 Location, Location, Location 11:55 A Place in the Sun 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Superscrimpers 13:35 My Eden 13:40 23 Paces to Baker Street 15:35 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 The Real Price of Gold: Dispatches 22:00 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 23:00 Sirens

00:50 UFC 60: Main Event 01:45 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Great Artists 05:35 Nick's Quest 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Castle Farm 07:40 Igam Ogam 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana's Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Wright Stuff Extra with Gabby Logan 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Law & Order 16:15 Tidal Wave: No Escape 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 21:00 Police Interceptors 22:00 The Restaurant Inspector 23:00 Freedomland

The Courier Tuesday TV

28th June

00:05 In with the Flynns 00:35 The Graham Norton Show 01:25 Business Nightmares with Evan Davis 02:25 Luther 03:25 Animal 24:7 04:10 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Real Rescues 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2011 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Luther 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Imagine BBC2 00:20 Mock the Week 00:50 Women's World Cup Highlights 01:30 The Kennedys 02:15 Newsday 02:30 Asia Business Report 02:45 Sport Today 03:00 Newsday 03:30 Asia Business Report 03:45 Sport Today 04:00 Newsday 04:10 Close

07:00 07:10 07:15 07:30 07:45 07:55 07:55 08:30 08:30 08:55 Show 09:25 09:50 It 10:00 10:10 10:25 Lab 10:40 11:00 Roots 11:30 12:30 13:00 16:25 16:50 17:05 17:30 18:00 18:20 18:50 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:30

Wibbly Pig Dip Dap Pinky Dinky Doo Tinga Tinga Tales Octonauts Extreme Animals Leon The Scooby-Doo Show Newsround Basil and Barney's Game Show Me Show Me Bob the Builder: Project Build The Koala Brothers Guess with Jess Nina and the Neurons: In the Big Cook Little Cook Spirit of Wimbledon: Grass Yesterday at Wimbledon Daily Politics Wimbledon 2011 Prank Patrol Down Under Deadly Art Escape from Scorpion Island Blue Peter Newsround Copycats Wimbledon 2011 Today at Wimbledon Three Men Go to Venice Lead Balloon Newsnight

01:20 The Zone 03:20 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Emergency 04:15 ITV Nightscreen 05:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Dinner Date 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Animal Kingdom 21:00 Countrywise 22:00 Baby Hospital 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Bodyguard

IMAGINE New series. Alan Yentob meets clinical neurologist and author Oliver Sacks, who shows through case studies of patients no longer able to read, recognise faces or see in 3D how much people see not just with their eyes but with their minds.

00:05 Trading Places 02:20 Poker's Million Dollar Girl 03:20 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 04:15 Meeting Helen 04:25 The Last Secret of Dr Crippen 05:20 Machines Time Forgot 06:15 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:45 Yo Gabba Gabba! 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:55 Friends 10:25 Back to You 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Kirstie's Homemade Home 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:25 Destination Gobi 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Four Rooms 22:00 The Fairy Jobmother 23:00 Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA

01:20 Crimes That Shook the World 02:15 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:55 Rough Guide to Journeys 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Castle Farm 07:40 Igam Ogam 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Milkshake Monkey 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana's Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Wright Stuff Extra with Gabby Logan 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Law & Order 16:15 A View from Here 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 21:00 Submarine School 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

The Courier Wednesday TV

29th June

00:35 The Scheme 01:30 The Country House Revealed 02:30 Britain's Secret Seas 03:30 Fake Britain 04:15 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Real Rescues 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2011 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Waterloo Road 21:30 In with the Flynns 22:00 The Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Not Going Out

01:55 04:00 04:45 06:30 07:00 09:30 10:25 11:30 13:30 14:30 14:55 15:00 16:00 16:59 17:00 18:00 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 23:00 23:30 23:35

The Zone Crossing Jordan ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Daybreak Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV News and Weather Meridian News and Weather 60 Minute Makeover Secret Dealers Meridian Weather Midsomer Murders Dinner Date Meridian Tonight ITV News and Weather Emmerdale Poms in Paradise Lewis ITV News at Ten and Meridian Tonight Leah's Dream

PAWN STARS

BBC2 00:20 01:20 02:15 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:15 07:00 07:10

07:15 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:45 Octonauts 07:55 Extreme Animals 08:30 The Scooby-Doo Show 08:30 Newsround 08:55 Basil and Barney's Game Show 09:25 Show Me Show Me 09:50 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:00 The Koala Brothers 10:10 Guess with Jess 10:25 Nina and the Neurons: In the Lab 10:40 Big Cook Little Cook 11:00 Spirit of Wimbledon: Pastures New 11:30 Yesterday at Wimbledon 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Wimbledon 2011 16:25 Scoop 16:50 Deadly Art 17:05 Escape from Scorpion Island 17:30 Little Howard's Big Question 18:00 Newsround 18:20 Copycats 18:50 Wimbledon 2011 21:00 Today at Wimbledon 22:00 Afghanistan: The Battle for Helmand 23:00 The Apprentice: You're Fired! 23:30 Newsnight

Top Gear The Tudors Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Close Wibbly Pig Dip Dap

The Old Man looks to buy a baseball signed by the 1951 World Series Champions - the New York Yankees - but he needs to verify its authenticity first. The team also appraises a rare $20 bill, a stunt man's driving suit, a piano and a KISS pinball table, while Chumlee is delighted when a HarleyDavidson is brought into the shop. Last in the series.

00:05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:10 European Poker Tour 02:05 The Grid 02:30 British Formula 3 International Series 03:00 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:25 Catching the Impossible 04:20 Triathlon 05:15 Scrapheap Challenge 06:10 Man on Earth 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:55 Friends 10:25 Back to You 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place in the Sun: 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Kirstie's Homemade Home 14:05 River Cottage Bites 14:20 Dakota Incident 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:05 Desperate Housewives

00:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:00 Cricket 02:00 SuperCasino 04:55 Meals in Moments 05:05 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:55 Rough Guide to Bang for Your Buck 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Castle Farm 07:40 Igam Ogam 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana's Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Wright Stuff Extra with Gabby Logan 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Law & Order 16:15 Desperate Escape 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Pawn Stars 20:30 5 News Update 21:00 Submarine School 22:00 NCIS 23:00 CSI: Miami

The Courier Thursday TV

30th June

00:15 Gone Baby Gone 02:05 Bang Goes the Theory 02:35 Animal 24:7 03:20 Saints and Scroungers 03:50 Great British Railway Journeys 04:20 Newsday 04:30 Asia Business Report 04:45 Sport Today 05:00 Newsday 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Crimewatch Roadshow 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Real Rescues 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Wimbledon 2011 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Planet of the Apemen: Battle for Earth 22:00 Traffic Cops 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time BBC2 00:20 01:20 02:15 02:30 02:45 03:00 03:30 03:45 04:00 04:20 07:00

Three Men Go to Venice The Tudors Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Asia Business Report Sport Today Newsday Close Wibbly Pig

07:10 07:15 07:30 07:45 07:55 08:30 08:30 08:55 Show 09:25 09:50 It 10:00 10:10 10:25 Lab 10:40 11:00 Rivals 11:30 12:30 13:00 13:10 13:30 16:25 16:50 17:05 17:30 18:00 18:20 18:50 21:00 22:00 23:00 23:30

Dip Dap Pinky Dinky Doo Tinga Tinga Tales Octonauts Extreme Animals The Scooby-Doo Show Newsround Basil and Barney's Game Show Me Show Me Bob the Builder: Project Build The Koala Brothers Guess with Jess Nina and the Neurons: In the Big Cook Little Cook Spirit of Wimbledon: Grass Yesterday at Wimbledon Daily Politics Lifeline Coast Wimbledon 2011 Scoop Deadly Art Escape from Scorpion Island Horrible Histories Newsround Copycats Wimbledon 2011 Today at Wimbledon History Cold Case Mock the Week Newsnight

00:35 Baby Hospital 01:35 The Zone 03:35 Matchstick Men 05:35 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Dinner Date 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Helen Newlove Investigates: Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Choir That Rocks 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Piers Meets Elton: A Life Stories Special

WALKING THE AMAZON In the concluding part of the documentary, former soldier Ed Stafford and his Peruvian pal Cho have reached Tabatinga, near where the borders of Peru, Brazil and Colombia meet. As they head due east toward Manaus, the state capital of Amazonas, they battle bugs, caimans, dehydration and mental fatigue - and a wrong turn proves costly while trying to make it to the river mouth.

00:05 8 Out of 10 Cats 00:50 Live from Abbey Road 01:40 The Album Chart Show 01:55 4Play: Six-D 02:10 Mercury Prize Sessions 02:35 Thirteen Conversations about One Thing 04:20 Bob's Burgers 05:05 Hill Street Blues 05:55 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:20 Countdown 07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:55 Friends 10:25 Back to You 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place in the Sun 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Mary Portas: Secret Shopper 14:05 Superscrimpers 14:30 Murder at the Gallop 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Help! My House Is Falling Down 22:00 Polar Bear: Inside Nature's Giants Special 23:20 The Sex Researchers

00:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 00:55 Poker: Aussie Millions 01:55 SuperCasino 04:55 Meals in Moments 05:05 Michaela's Wild Challenge 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Castle Farm 07:40 Igam Ogam 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Bop Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Hana's Helpline 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 The Wright Stuff Extra with Gabby Logan 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Ice Road Truckers 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 Law & Order 16:10 Cook & Peary: Race to the Pole 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 21:00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers 22:00 Walking the Amazon 23:00 The Contract

Friday, June 24, 2011

SPORT ON THE BOX No.1 FOR TV SPORT

A full weekend of sports on TV this week and all of it top quality, whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a load of balls at Wimbledon or Bristol or the racing on two or four wheels for the petrol-heads, Courier sport bring you the very best!

Wimbledon 2011 Friday, June 24th, 6:50pm to 9:00pm BBC 2 Live coverage continues with singles and doubles action as day five draws to a close. For the top men and women, a place in next week's fourth round is at stake. Defending champion Rafa Nadal will hope to be among those safely through. Garry Richardson and Phil Jones are on hand to get reaction form the players.

Cricket Saturday, June 25th, 8:00pm to 8:55pm Channel 5 England v Sri Lanka Twenty20. Mark Nicholas presents highlights of England's T20 match against Sri Lanka at the County Cricket Ground in Bristol. Commentary comes from Geoff Boycott, Michael Vaughan and Simon Hughes.

F1: Grand Prix Sunday, June 26th, 1:10pm to 4:30pm BBC 1 Jake Humphrey presents live coverage of the European Grand Prix at Valencia, the eighth race of the 2011 Formula One season. It is 12 years since a British driver won the European Grand Prix, a statistic that both Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button will be desperate to end as they chase world championship leader Sebastian Vettel. The McLaren duo both claimed podium places in Valencia last year, but it was Vettel who took the victory, finishing five seconds clear of Hamilton. Home hopes will be pinned on Ferrari star Fernando Alonso, who won this race in 2007, when it was held at Germany's Nurburgring.

MotoGP Sunday, June 26th, 4:30pm to 6:00pm BBC 2 Round 7 - Assen. Round 7 and the Championship is at Assen for the Dutch TT and one of the most exciting circuits in the calendar. With the mid-point of the season fast approaching, can Casey Stoner continue his dominant display after taking the Championship lead from Spain's Jorge Lorenzo last time out in Silverstone? And will Britain's own Cal Crutchlow be back on the grid after breaking his collarbone at his home grand prix?

Friday, June 24, 2011

AWNINGS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES 10 cold drinks /snack vending machines with sites 44,900 euros. Excellent cash income, no overhead, operate from home 31,000 euros NETT per year one day p.w. to service.25 Pringle vending machines with sites 14,900 euros 250 euros per week NETT guaranteed, machines and sites available individually. 965 326 442 / 659 696 455 (09) Bar for sale. Quesada area. Going cheap. For information pack, email: . Tel: 688 800 960 (16)

CHURCH SERVICES

AIR CONDITIONING

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

(20) Ref: 49, 2nd floor one bedroom apartment situated conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 (20) Ref: 06, A Beautiful town centre apartment conveniently situated in Torrevieja close to town centre amenities and a short walk to the beautiful sandy beaches. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 (20) Ref: 78, South facing 3 bedroomed property situated injardin Del Mar VII, with communal pool nearby. Close to amenities. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 (20) Ref: 52 (Long Term Only) Three bedroom 2nd floor terrace house in Aguas Nuevas. The property benefits from large lounge, fully fitted kitchen and a downstairs shower room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 (20) Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 (20) Ref: 126, Two Bedroom, 3rd

SECURITY

SHUTTERS

FOR SALE 8ft by 4ft Slate bed Snooker/Pool table, Snooker balls, pool balls and a set of triple lights. Also many extras all in excellent condition Cost 1,700? will sell for 450? OVNO Telephone 965726127 or 663446892

MORTGAGES URGENT MORTGAGES. We can lend you money for your house. We don´t care about RAI/ASNEF, proof of income or age limit. Free evaluation 966 698 781 / 696 289 407(22) email- eddieandnesta@hotmail.com

PETS

International Christian Assembly. Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja. Evangelical non-denominational. Sunday services 11:00am. Children’s Church 11:00am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11:00am. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome 966 799 273 // 660 127 276. Pilar Christian Community Church Calle Canalejas 3 Pilar de la Horadada opposite the old cinema. Sunday Service 11am. Home groups Tuesday times vary Bible Study and Prayer Meeting Thursday 5pm. Pastor Rev. Eddie Martens Tel 966769300 Mobile 650509600

2 Siamese kittens, free to good home. Both are chocolate point and white Ready in 2 weeks, both parents can be seen. Call 603 121 785 for more info 5 month old Collie Cross Pup free to good home Full time jobs force reluctant parting He is brown with collie markings and has green eyes! a very handsome dog, fully house trained and is a big bundle of fun! Call 603 121 785

PROPERTY FOR RENT

FURNITURE

floor apartment is situated in Torrevieja on a residential street a short stroll from the sandy beaches. Open plan kitchen, diner and lounge with sofa bed. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 (20) Ref: 63, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment situated in Monino Blanco. The property overlooks a superb communal pool area, in within walking distance of bars, restaurants and shops. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 (20) Ref: 128, A lovely One bedroom 2nd floor apartment, American style kitchen, Lounge with patio doors to balcony, in the San Luis area. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 (20) Ref: 104, Lovely Two Bedroom Apartment in Torrevieja, within walking distance of Friday Market and the beach. The Property is close to the Habaneras Shopping Centre and

Aquapark. Short or long term rental available. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 (20

PROPERTY FOR SALE

PLUMBERS

BAR 4 SALE Local Spanish & English Bar Well Known 100,000€ Call 679 096 309 BUILDER

TILER

PAVING

SPORTS EQUIPMENT

CAR MECHANIC REMOVALS

CARPENTER

LOCKSMITH

SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE

VAN HIRE

Friday, June 24, 2011 Gran Alacant, corner semi detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bathrooms, large garden, enclosed terrace, fully furnished, private drive for 2 cars, on gated desirable urbanisation Monte Faro, many facilities priced for quick sale 185,000 Tel 680333242 Balsares, terraced 4 bedroomed house, 3 bathrooms, large underbuild, private underground parking direct to house, small gated urbanisation, directly over looking proposed new golf course opposite Gran Alacant, priced for quick sale at original off plan price 180.000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, 3 bedroomed, 3 bath mid terraced Altomar 1, views of Alicante Bay, close to communal pool, walking distance to bars and resturants opportunity at reduced price 145,000 Tel 680333242 Gran Alacant, front line, 2 bed, 1 bath, downstairs toilet, fully furnished, roof terrace, walking distance to beaches, large communal and resturants, beach front property priced for quick sale 125,000 Tel 680333242 Quesada, detached 3 bedroomed, 2 bath, all large rooms, front enclosed con-

servatory, fully furnished, oiled fuelled heating, outdoor poolside kitchen and bbq area enclosed, large pool, outside toilet, garage for 2 cars, newly refurbished, established garden with fruit trees, set in a cul de sac on 1000m2, the overall plot can be divided, as registered as two plots, so this house could be a substantial investment opportunity, situated in the Dona pepe area close to Quesada town centre, priced 299,000 negotiable Tel 680333242 Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 513, €115,000. Two bedroom ground floor apartment, in Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities including the beach. It has a good size lounge, kitchen and has off road parking facilities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 521, €105,000. This comfortable bungalow is located in San Luis with a new roof and solarium tiles. It is close to supermarkets, bars, restaurants and is on the local bus route. Call: 965 707 188 or 626

397 397 Ref: 520, €105,000. Two bedroom apartment in Dream Hills, with a fully equipped kitchen, large lounge, glazed-in terrace and a large solarium. This property comes with a large communal swimming pool. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 516, €39,999. Studio apartment in San Luis, close to amenities. Open plan fully equipped kitchen. Good sized lounge, bedroom and out onto balcony which has been glazed to create another room. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 510, €79,999. Bungalow located in San Luis. It is close to the supermarkets, bars and restaurants and is on the local bus route. An Opel Corsa car is included in this sale. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 146, €85,000. Three bedroom Two bathroom quad house in Dream Hills. Off road parking on the front driveway with gates that can be padlocked for security. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 527, €195,000. Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, on a large

plot, located in San Luis, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: KP3100, €210,000. Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, located in San Luis, on a 450sqm plot, with communal pool. Garage to side of house. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 30, €119,000. Two bedroom detached house with large front terrace. This villa is in the Punta Marina area close to Playa Flamenca , Close to amenities. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 78, €120,000. Three bedroom Quad in Jardin Del Mar VII. There is off-road parking and small storage

SURVEYS

NEWS AGENTS

SIGNS

TATTOOS

shed in the enclosed garden area, communal pool nearby. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397 Ref: 128, €34,950. One bedroom 2nd floor apartment located in San Luis. American style kitchen, Lounge with patio doors to balcony, with lovely views in the San Luis area. Call: 965 707 188 or 626 397 397

SITUATIONS VACANT

PETS

MOSQUITOS

LOCKSMITH

Friday, June 24, 2011

THE POWER AND America bows to THE RORY McIlroy’s magic RORY MCILROY ripped through the record books as he claimed his first Major victory at the US Open at Congressional in America. McIlroy finished on 16 under to win by a massive eight shots. The 22-year-old walked off the 72nd hole and into his father's arms. "Happy Father's Day" was the first thing he uttered. Just over two months ago the floppy-haired rising star gave up a four-shot lead on the final day of The Masters at Augusta after a meltdown on the back nine. No such dramas enveloped the older (a bit) and wiser (a lot) McIlroy. He led from the first round to the last and made a clear statement that there's plenty more sublime golf to come. He shot all four rounds in the 60s and never looked like faltering. His tally of 16-under par is the lowest total ever at a US Open and the last 10 US Open champions combined were 14 under. It was the second straight US Open title for the tiny country of Northern Ireland, and defending champion Graeme McDowell walked back across the bridge to the 18th green to embrace the new winner.

IN-THE-BAG McILROY: HIS WINNING CLUBS

AFTER Rory's stunning demolition of the field at Congressional to win the US Open, it is difficult to pick out a key club in his bag - because he hit them all so well. The 22-year-old Northern Irishman bombed his Titleist 910 D2 Driver, crushed his Titleist MB Irons and rolled his Titleist Scotty Cameron prototype putter sweetly on all four days. He hit more greens in regulation than anyone else in the field, with 62 out of 72 over the four days but perhaps the key difference was with the putter - the only new club in his bag from the Masters earlier this year. He took just 119 putts for his four rounds, an average of 1.65 putts per hole, and recorded just one three-putt during the entire championship.

THE Greatest race on earth some say will start on July 2nd in Vendee and then with only to rest days will finish in Paris on the 24th July some 3,430.5km later. Below is what the Race Director Christian Prudhomme has to say about this years tour. The route of the 2011 Tour has been determined with two objectives in mind: to set the pace from the beginning of the race and maintain suspense right up until the very end. Last summer’s first week was thrilling, and this year it will offer the riders a difficult route, that will be spectacular and

What next for Hercules? By MALCOLM PALMER

Thiago Alcántara

WORLD SPORTS ROUNDUP with Mick Hardy from Kidease

"You're a legend," McDowell told him. An exhausted and emotional McIlroy said: "I couldn't ask for much more, and I'm just so happy to be holding this trophy. I know how good Tiger was in 2000 to win by 15 in Pebble. I was trying to go out there and emulate him in some way. I played great for four days, and I couldn't be happier." McIlroy added. "To come back straight away at the US Open and win that is nice. You can always call yourself a major champion, and hopefully after this, I can call myself a multiple major champion one day." Even Tiger Woods got in on the act. The injured, former World No. 1 said in a statement: "What a performance from start to finish. Enjoy the win. Well done." McIlroy, who goes to No. 4 in the world, now stands above everyone going into the final two majors of the year.

ALLEZ, TOUR DE FRANCE!

WITH the unfortunate Elche now confirmed as local rivals for the coming season, Hercules are concerning themselves with planning for their own future. The popular Sergio Fernandez is charged with the task of putting together a technical team to cope with the new campaign, and all pointers suggest that Juan Carlos Mandía will rejoin the club as coach. If so, he will doubtless bring players with him, and Diop is one such who may be on his way. Another rumour says that striker Delibasic may be on his way back. What is more certain is that many players will be

departing. Promising youngster Kiko seems likely to join Barcelona, so will probably face his old club as he lines up with the Catalans’ ‘B’ team – one wonders at his intentions – surely he would have done better to look for first division football with a more modest club? Abraham Paz has had offers from Greece, and Farinós from Levante, whilst Valdez will clearly be sold to raise more much-needed finance. Drenthe is off back to Madrid, who will promptly sell him, probably in partexchange for Coentrao,

from Benfica. Cortes and Calatayud are other players to be ‘on their bikes.’ It will be interesting to see the line-up at the start of next term. Mention of Real Madrid leads to speculation as to whether Kun Agüero will, actually join them from Atletico. The understanding is that they first need to get rid of their ‘for sale’ players before entering further into the market, having already purchased Sahin from Borussia Dortmund and Callejon from Español. (Altintop came free from Bayern). The players involved include the unsettled (unrealistic – where does he think he’ll get 100% starts?) Lass, Gago, Garay and Pedro Leon, whilst Canales and Morata may well be loaned out. Barcelona are in much the same position regarding the signing of Cesc from Arsenal, and have an embarrassment of talent, including the prodigy Thiago Alcántara, who looks like a real prospect. Málaga are spending their newfound money like it went out of fashion, and have signed a wealth of class players already. The transfer market will heat up as the summer progresses – watch this space!

capable of providing various scenarios… In the Massif Central, the race route will gain height, before moving on, very soon after, to the Pyrenees. During this second week, the peloton will discover the Tour’s new mountain passes, the promising Perthus, in the heart of Cantal, and the outstanding Hourquette d’Ancizan, on the Luz-Ardiden road: the slightest weakness will be fatal, such as on the slopes of the Aubisque or on the Plateau de Beille. The third week will be crucial: it will honour the giant, the Galibier, which was climbed for the first time one hundred years earlier, in the appropriate way. Its summit will initially be reached after a long Franco-Italian expedition, (which also includes the ascent of the Agnel and the Izoard), making it the highest finish in the Tour’s history, at an altitude of 2, 645 m. Then it will be crossed for the second time during a very short and exciting stage, punctuated by the twenty one mythical bends of l’Alpe d’Huez, which has never been climbed so late on in the race, two days before the finish in Paris. Nevertheless, the odds for the Yellow Jersey may still be open the next day in Grenoble, in a final time-trial which will hopefully be decisive, as in recent years.

LUNA IN ORBIT AGAIN ITALIAN Diana Luna claimed her second victory inside a month after emerging from a crowded leader board to take the Deutsche Bank Ladies Swiss Open at Golf Gerre Losone. After the event was shortened from 72 holes to 54 due to bad weather, Luna played 27 holes in blazing sunshine on Sunday.

Friday, June 24, 2011

DEAL or NO DEAL?

The summer transfer merry-go-round is under way and PHIL SMITH, former Deputy Sports Editor of the Sunday People, takes a look at what we can expect…or not I don't know about you, but I always find that football's so-called close season is far more interesting (most of the time at any rate) than the actual playing season. It's pretty much the same, in many respects, but without the ball - and it only lasts three months. It's that time of year when clubs gather together their scouting manpower from around the world in the hope that someone, somewhere, has spotted the tiniest gem in the mountainous heaps of dross who might be available for a relatively small amount of cash and who might, just might, turn a club's fortunes. It's that time of year when managers discover a greater need for Grecian 2000 and club financiers have nightmares thinking about the millions those same managers are ready to throw around in the richest and most outrageous commodity market in the world. It's a financial free-for-all; it's no-limits Poker; it's a bingoor-bust week in Las Vegas; it's a billion Euro lottery bash; it's

‘It’s every theme park rollercoaster ride rolled into one; it's scary – and it's brilliant’ every theme park roller-coaster ride rolled into one; it's scary – and it's brilliant. Every Premier League club will have a closely-guarded hit list (despite regular leaks) and every club will have a list of players they would like to ease off the payroll (more readily available to the media). And they are beginning to square up for the biggest game of Deal or No Deal of the year. Manchester United, Chelsea, Manchester City, Arsenal, Liverpool and probably Spurs will be linked to every bigname player dreamed up by some ambitious young sports writer looking to make himself famous on the back page. Throw Spain's Barcelona and Real Madrid, and Italy's big

two in Milan, into the mix and we're heading for a fairly heady cocktail. What I can never quite understand about the threemonth summer transfer window is that so many clubs leave it until the very last minute before making their big move, adding a touch more spice to the growing sensationalism. Few mega-deals have been done so far, unless you're particularly moved by the £17m transfer of young Phil Jones from Blackburn to Manchester United and Jordan Henderson's switch from Sunderland to Liverpool for roughly the same money. A couple of the better rumours is that Manchester United have stolen a march on Barcelona (of all people) in the chase for a much hotter property in Udinese's 22-year-old Chilean forward Alexis Sanchez, reckoned to be valued at £30m, and Chelsea are after Sergio Anguero, Atletico Madrid's 23-year-old Argentinian striker who happens to be married to Maradona's daughter, who might want to have a hand in the move. Chelsea have also been linked with a move for midfieldTHINGS ARE er Luca Modric at Spurs, but LOOKING UP Harry Redknapp insists he Alexis Sanchez won't be leaving. He always

does, so we'll wait and see! Arsenal and Spurs are supposed to be chasing Blackburn's big Congolese central defender Chris Samba, Everton can't raise the £10m that Wigan want for Charles N'Zogbia and they could even be beaten by Newcastle United in the chase for West Ham's Demba Ba who was a bit of a hit (and miss) last season. And dear old Arsene Wenger is promising once again to try and buy a piece of silverware of some kind to put in the rather sparse trophy cabinet at the Emirates Stadium. Oh, and Cesc Fabregas says (once again) that he's happy at Arsenal which, roughly translated, means that he's desperate to get to Barcelona. Names, clubs and denials will be flying around like confetti on a windy day until the end of August when many millions of pounds and Euros will have changed hands.

Elche’s away-goal agony Continued from back page

When, against the run of play, Granada´s hotly-rated Ighalo’s speed and control outwitted and outpaced the Elche defence, keeper Jaime was quick off his line. But Elche’s first-leg hero was unable to match the sheer brilliance of this Eto’o like Granada forward, who gave the home defenders time to compose themselves before calmly picking his spot and side-footing the visitors into an undeserved lead. Elche, lacking the final touch, were not without their chances, and constant pressure kept the decibel level at maximum. And when a superbly weighted cross by

right-back Carpio hung enticingly over the penalty spot, Elche forward Ángel forced keeper Robert into a fine one-handed save from his header. But, with minutes to go to half-time, the rebound fell to Pelegrin who neatly blasted it back past a grasping Roberto. This should have been the turning point for Elche, but as players and fans celebrated, linesman Ruiz, motionless, his arm out stretched at 90 degrees indicated to referee Torres that the goalscorer had been offside. Linesman Ruiz amazing 'wrong decision' confession during the break appeared to give heart to the home side and a goal looked certain. But a determined Granada kept strong as the game slowly turned and twisted. Referee Torres fought to keep control and as time ticked by a now desperate Elche fought against both Granada and the man in the middle. Granada´s frustrating time-wasting tactics turned the last 20 minutes into a heated affair. Then, with just ten

FABRI on referee TORRES

‘I have no idea why he sent me off in

YOU NEED TWO TO WIN: Or is Fabri's message to Elche a little less polite?

DOWN AND OUT: A fan consoles distraught Elche goalscorer Xumetra at the end

the 88th minute. I must have surely said something derogatory about him’

time wasting tactics, with the ball actually in play for just 18 minutes during the second half.

minutes left, winger Xumetra, unmarked at the back post, gave Elche one last hope by pulling the sides level. But with away goals counting double if the scores remained level on aggregate, a second goal was crucial. And it simply would not come. As timed faded away, so did the hopes and dreams of the home fans and as Torres blew for the final time, it was left to the 2.000 Granada supporters tucked high up in the gods to make the noise. Granada go through on the away goal - but it was one of those evenings where, many years from now, you look back and say: "I was there" Elche officials questioned referee Miranda Torres’ ability to handle a game of such importance. The criticism followed his inability to control Granada´s second-half

On-loan forward Cristóbal has returned to Villarreal and Bodipo recalled by Deportivo. Winger Ripa confirmed on Monday that he is also to leave for Numancia and recently promoted Real Murcia, back after a year in the doldrums, have asked for permission to talk to Acciari, 33, who is odds-on to return to his old club.

Elche now have to pick up the pieces. It is unknown whether Bordalás will continue in charge but the Elche board are eager for him the stay. But the likeable Alicantino has become hot property and at a press conference early in the week he said he needed a few days to think things over.

Star keeper Jaime is another ready for a move. His contract finishes on June 30 and he will be free to negotiate his own terms. With Real Murcia keen for his services, it looks like another roller coaster year ahead for Elche.

Friday, June 24, 2011

THE COURIER No.1 for SPORT! All the action p46, 47

The dream is over for Elche - thanks to linesman’s boob

SO NEAR YET SO FAR ELCHE 1 GRANADA 1 (Agg: 1-1 - Granada promoted to La Liga on away-goals)

Pictures: Mark Welton

DAN SMITH reports ELCHE boss José Bordalás, emotionally shaken, took his seat in front of a packed press room, his team having just failed by the narrowest of margins to join Spain´s football elite in La Liga paradise. As the grey-suited Bordalás gained composure, his press officer informed the eager journalists that they should be brief with their questions. The promotion dream over, it was left to hard-doneby Bordalás to pick up the pieces. Firstly he told journalists of referee Miranda Torres’ surprise apology as they entered the dressing room at half time. Elche´s 39th-minute goal was mistakenly ruled offside, was a mistake and should have stood - his linesman accepting that he had wrongly flagged. Appearing hesitant, the drained Bordalás’s next revelation was directed towards Granada boss Fabri. "I usually don´t speak about fellow managers, but in this instance I have to say that Fabri is a shame to our profession", he said referring to several recent comments by his outspoken rival and the gestures he made to the Elche bench after his team took the lead. Bordalás went on to say: ‘’For me he is not worthy of being a first division manager, his actions are that of somebody playing in regional football". former Elche director Juan Carlos Ramirez was also embroiled in pre-match tensions after Granada president hurled insults at the Elche dressing room.

OVER AND OUT? Beaten boss Bordelas ponders his future After the game Ramirez confirmed to hungry reporters that he did in fact call the Granada chairman "un gran hijo de p**a". .... One could say that the promise of paradise awaiting the winner last Saturday was at times too much to bear for the 22 players. But the 38.000 vociferous and sometimes violent fans packed into the Martinez Valero stadium appeared to enjoy virtually every minute of a game that had more twists and turns than a Lake District country road. Turn to P47

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DOWN AND IN: A lecture from ref Torres for a timewasting Granada player