The Courier Week 12 by TKO Media

Edition 12

www.thecourier.es

Friday, May 13, 2011

LORCA CRUMBLES 90,000 sleep on the streets as biggest quake for 50 years hits medieval town

Spain ‘united’ to help residents By Dave Bull in Lorca AS I walked the streets of Lorca yesterday morning, Lorca was still shrouded in the eerie quiet which had descended on the town since the second of two devastating earthquakes that killed at least two pregnant women and up to eight others the previous evening. People stood around either stunned or with nothing else to do. Their home, business or job gone, there was nothing left for these poor people to do other than wait. What they were waiting for nobody seemed to be sure, apart from the hope that the authorities would somehow organise the essentials that we normally take for granted, such as water and power and food. Lorca’s 90,000 population suffered on Wednesday, with at least 130 injured and damage everywhere you look in this beautiful and historic town. Every building I passed had been affected in some way and every street had a similar story. In total, some 20,000 buildings are estimated to have been damaged by the quakes.

Devastating On Wednesday evening at 6.45pm the second and most devastating tremor hit Lorca. A quake registering 4.4 on the Richter scale had rocked the town at five o’clock without causing too much damage. But the one that followed reached 5.2 to become the worst earthquake to hit Spain in more than 50 years. As I walked the streets yesterday, hundreds of

Continued on page 2

Friday, May 13, 2011

TELEPHONE

96 672 6437 JUNGLE DRUMS

96 672 7334 E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Alto del Moncayo s/n, Guardamar del Segura, 03140, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 672 64 37 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Dave Bull (English/Spanish) ADVERTISING SALES 96 672 6437 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 672 6437 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Vanessa Gran Alacant, La Marina, Guardamar Tel. 638 741 847 Denise La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 697 241 753 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Writers Dave Bull Malcolm Palmer Mick Hardy Donna Gee Suzanne Manners Spike Paul Payne Sally Bengtsson Tony Mayes Jake Monroe Dan Smith Photographer Mark Welton

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Publication Published by Rainbow Media, S.L. Printed by Localprint S.L Depósito legal A - 132 - 2011 The Courier, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion. We regret that we cannot accept responsibility for more than ONE incorrect insertion and that no re-publication will be granted in the case of typographical or minor changes which do not affect the value of the advertisement. E&OE. NO PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHERS.

Lorca's Mayor, Francisco Jodar shows the strain, and pictured the devastation

following

magnitude

the

5.2

earthquake

on Wednesday evening. Continued from page 1 people passed me carrying suitcases and boxes containing their worldly goods. I stopped several and asked them where they were going; the majority hadn’t a clue but were just following the crowds. Most had spent Wednesday night sleeping outside for fear of another tremor and the car parks of supermarkets and local playing fields were already full with people camping on the tarmac. Some had homes to return to, many did not.

Spirit At the entrance to Lorca’s main street, and the location of what was the epicentre of the quake, a lone policeman gamely tried to direct

chaotic traffic. He symbolised the spirit of the town as firemen and ambulances, their sirens constant in the background, fought their way in and out of the town. The Red Cross has moved in 24 ambulances and set up three field hospitals and as I departed the army were moving in. Hundreds of military teams were being deployed to search the rubble for victims and survivors, beginning the clean-up and checking which buildings are safe to enter. In addition, the Red Cross used 350 ambulances to move patients from two hospitals that had to be closed down. Lorca's Mayor, Francisco Jodar met with prime minister Zapatero and his interior minister on Thursday lunchtime in the centre of Lorca along with the president of the

Monday Partly sunny High Temperature: 22°C RealFeel: 23°C

Murcian region, Ramón Luis Valcárcel Siso, to assess the damage and reassure residents that the whole country was ‘united’ in helping the citizens of Lorca. The scene in Lorca is one of utter devastation with residents either homeless or being told that they can’t return to their homes for safety reasons. The town’s parks and open spaces are filling with people who have nowhere else to go, or those who fear another tremor. Never have I seen a place where everywhere I look there is something that needs sorting out and quickly. The logistics of getting Lorca back on its feet are incredible but the one thing that has risen from the rubble is the unity of a nation that so often is ready to denounce its neighbours.

Spain has hundreds of earthquakes every year, though most of them are too small to be noticed. But Murcia is the country's most seismically active area and suffered tremors in 2005 and 1999.

It is close to the large fault line beneath the Mediterranean Sea where the European and African continents meet. For more exclusive images of the devastation go to www.thecourier.es

Today Partly cloudy High Temperature: 24°C RealFeel: 25°C

Saturday Mostly sunny High Temperature: 23°C RealFeel: 27°C

Sunday Drizzle High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 21°C

Tuesday Sunny High Temperature: 23°C RealFeel: 26°C

Wednesday Partly sunny High Temperature: 23°C RealFeel: 26°C

Thursday Partly cloudy High Temperature: 25°C RealFeel: 27°C

Friday, May 13, 2011

CARREFOUR WASH ‘CUSTOMER CARE’ RIGHT OUT OF THEIR HAIR!

Yet more reported problems for French conglomerate By Spike Following our exclusive story three weeks ago reporting on Cathy and Bob Ashe’s horrendous experience with the uncaring supermarket giant we have been inundated with letters from readers who have all suffered some form of ‘snub’ from ‘uncaring’ Carrefour. One reader’s experience, Cheryl, was at the same store as Cathy and Bob, here’s what she told us, ‘We don't live in Spain but we own an apartment which we use for holidays for family and friends each year but in the Autumn of last year my daughter and I went to Carrefour near the Habaneras centre looking for shampoo's. The floor in that area is laminate and as I walked down the aisle I slipped on what seemed to be a clear gel type liquid which must have leaked from somewhere nearby. I slipped over and landed on my knee first and then my wrist. I was in agony, not to mention feeling stupid, and my 15 year old daughter tried to get help but none of the staff even looked our way.’ By this time both mother and daughter were getting rather distressed, and frustrated, as even a Spanish woman further down the aisle completely ignored the struggling pair and when they tried to attract some help from staff within the store they were waved off, or told that they would come back but never did. Eventually Cheryl was left to hobble out of the store with the help of her daughter. He knee by now was very swollen and Cheryl had to spend the last day of her holiday not walking. On return to the UK she went to her local hospital for an xray where the doctor told her that she had cracked her knee

cap and sprained her wrist. Cheryl told us she was home and treated properly but angry with Carrefour for their uncaring attitude, adding, ‘They are a total disgrace and I choose not to go in there now. In general I find the Spanish very rude as I do try to speak their language when communicating and spend a lot of

money when we come over. Even though we’ve had a break-in and another attempted break- in to our apartment. it's no wonder a lot of ex pats are trying to sell up and go home, I'm very wary of all of them now in terms of attitude and safety, I could have been having a heart attack but clearly would have been left to die!’ At the time of going to print we still have not received any reply or comment from Carrefour.

"Relive your passion. Have an affair!" Spanish website upsets husbands

By Dave Bull An advertising campaign offering the chance for married women to sign on to a website so that they can find men willing to have affairs has provoked a furious reaction in the Spanish capital Madrid…especially amongst their husbands. Posters by the victoriamilan.es company on street advertising hoardings in Madrid invite women to "Relive your passion. Have an affair!" And are accompanied by a photograph of a smiling woman with her arms around her illicit lover. The website claims it can find the desperate (or not so desperate) woman both cyber-lovers and real ones from as far away as Scandinavia and includes testimonies that it boasts are from contented clients. "I've found love and several men to enjoy spending time with" stated Maria who says she is married and another who claimed her life ‘has improved enormously’ since joining the website and saying to those who would knock what they are up to, "You don't know what you are missing until you try it." However husbands were up in arms at the site with one telling the women who have signed up, "You should be ashamed of promoting infidelity, this site makes me sick. What kind of morality are you trying to promote But the website is obviously aiming at a different kind of clientele and defended its actions in a statement saying, "You only live once as they say, and we want to help you live it to the fullest by establishing this exciting friendly meeting place to privately spice up your everyday life," it promises. The company claims to have created the first dating website in Europe to target people who are married or already in a relationship. "We offer an atmosphere in which you can have fun, flirt, get to know someone and have an affair either close to home or far away," claims the website, which gives its address as a PO Box in Oslo, Norway.

Friday, May 13, 2011

SAYS BABY SELLERS HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE PARENTS THE couple selling their own baby on the streets of Murcia makes you feel unwell doesn’t it? Don’t begin by thinking that this couple were so desperate this was the only option left open to them. It wasn’t. They had a roof over their heads where their four other children lived and if they we so desperate for their children to eat, why didn’t they put the baby into care rather than trying to grab a nice few euros for their offspring? And what now, if they are imprisoned what happens to the other four children (the baby has been taken into care)? And if they let them off, then what? I’ll tell you what; they’ll be at it like rabbits trying to produce another bundle of cash because they just lost the last one. Why don’t they make that the sentence – castration for them both? Either that or I hope he becomes impotent…and soon. THE EDITOR

ROJALES ROCKS How the expats celebrated

The idea was to have the biggest street party of all time, especially for those who remembered the great street parties of the Silver Jubilee and the idea was to recreate the feel good factor of 1977. The idea was born on New Year's Day after a very brave group of people from The Pint Depot in the El Galan area did Dip and Dive at La Zenia Beach. Whilst talking to the Pink Ladies about their planned celebrations, there was the germ of an idea to have a celebration in Quesada or Rojales. After many discussions with many advisors it was decided to 'chance the weather' and have a big open air all day and night party in Rojales, to have the feel good factor of everyone celebrating together. Especially as a

lot of people would remember The Silver Jubilee - what I now remember most is that it did not rain in 1977!! Working in association with Rojales Town Hall and with the backing of TKO everything was all set for a fantastic day! Best laid plans and all that! However, looking back on the enormous press coverage in the Spanish Newspapers and on Spanish TV and the photos lots of people were having a good time once the sun made an appearance and TKO who were fantastic keeping the whole thing rocking all day and into the night.

GEORGIE MAY has almost overnight become 'the face of Paul Cunningham Nurses', we asked Georgie, why she chose this charity. "From the moment that I heard about the Paul Cunningham nurses charity I was instantly inspired; I was inspired by the story behind the creation of the charity as well as the amazing work that every individual does behind the scenes to raise funds for the charity and make it a success. The Royal Wedding Celebrations on the 29th was an eventful day, the rain came down but that did not stop us from celebrating this memorable event together. Arriving in a beautiful red, Ford Galaxy was an amazing experience, Emmanuel, the driver and owner of the car was a credit on the day, we have become good friends and we are both looking forward to working together in the future. Being published by all Spanish press and being looked upon as the face of the charity was a true honour. To be titled the face of such an amazing charity, one that is very close to my heart and that does such an amazing job in the care and support they offer to terminally ill patients in their last days, I am, as I said, truly honoured. Over such a short amount of time I have been involved so much with the charity, from celebrating the royal wedding as mentioned, to 15km walks, casino nights and even scuba diving, to name but a few! With regards to the scuba diving, I first met Tony from Max Scuba Diving Centre at an event in aid of the charity. Little did I know that on that day I would be getting into a wet suit and scuba diving for the first time! Pulling in Susan Reader in with me. Max Scuba Diving and I continue to work together with many projects in the pipe line. They have given me a passion for scuba diving and I am now taking on the challenge of an open water scuba diving course in aid of the

charity in the near future! They are also sponsoring my official 2012 charity calendar. Working with and supporting Paul Cunningham Nurses is like a journey and along the way I have met the most amazing people, formed strong friendships and above all, raised funds for such a fantastic cause!"

It’s May day in April!

Friday, May 13, 2011

WITH ROYAL REVELRY!

Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s special day with William and Kate JUST SPECTACULAR! THE spectacular open-air event spanned fully 13 hours - from 11am until midnight! In association with Rojales Town Hall, and with enormous support from TKO radio, it was a memorable day for The Courier - and for the local community. Once the sun came out, lots of people had a really good time and TKO were fantastic in keeping the whole thing rocking all day and into the night!

HOW MY CAR BECAME FAMOUS THE DAY WILLS AND KATE GOT MARRIED I AM FRENCH, my wife is American from Texas and 4 years ago we arrived to live in Spain. In 1989, an old friend and I found this 1964 Ford Galaxi 500 XL convertible by chance in the scrapyard of the Canadian Air Force in Solingen Germany. It was the only convertible car in this yard, and we had already remodelled some American cars but never had a convertible. This car was white, the soft roof was gone, and the car was half buried in mud, the

mud was all over the seats but never mind, we bought the car. The next week we came back with a truck we had a hard time to shovel and lift the car out of the mud. Back to France and we first we power washed it and then disassembled it all ready to remodel. We both worked on the car every day after our regular work, and it took us 2 years to remodel it completely and only with original parts. The engine is a V8 - 352 CI (5.8l) XL means extra luxury. So the car is all electric, automatic gear-box, power windows, roof and seat. Powerbrakes and power steering too. In august 2009 I brought our car by road from Strasbourg France. I drove 3 days by the country roads I had no problem at all to do this 2500 km, but I used 9

tanks of fuel. Just six weeks ago I was asked if Paul Cunningham Nurses could use our car for some publicity shots for a Wedding Show at La Herradura in Los Montesinos and then for The Royal Wedding Fiesta in Rojales. I have to say I was delighted to have my car chosen by the bride above a Rolls-Royce or a limo.... Georgie May, who has become the face of Paul Cunningham Nurses is a stunning and lovely girl. Georgie has become my Muse and has kindly agreed to be on our business-cards. (There is no easy translation for Muse but Emmanuel explains - I mean like a goddess that inspires an artist) The car is available with the driver in Texanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clothes for any events; please contact sueinthesun@hotmail.co.uk if you would like details.

Friday, May 13, 2011

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

1981

Many notable technological advances happened in 1981 one of the most exciting was the First Flight of the Space Shuttle Columbia. This was also the first year that the Word Internet was mentioned and MSDOS was released by Microsoft along with the first IBM PC. On the world stage the events that captured the imagination included Lady Diana Spencer marrying Charles, The Prince of Wales. In Politics a little known group before Solidarity inspire popular protests and a general strike in Poland and the government in the UK starts the process of privatization of Nationalized Industries which is later followed by many other countries around the world.

Prices for UK Pounds Stirling Average House Price £24,188 Gallon of Petrol £1.32 Yearly Inflation Rate UK 11.9% Interest Rates Year End Bank of England 14.38%

Popular Culture • MTV (Music Television) is launched August 1st • Simon And Garfunkel Reunite for concert in New Yorks Central Park

Popular Films • Raiders of the Lost Ark • Superman II • Nine to Five • Any Which Way You Can • Arthur • The Cannonball Run • For Your Eyes Only • On Golden Pond • Chariots of Fire

Popular Musicians • John Lennon • Blondie • Dolly Parton “9 to 5” • Sheena Easton • Diana Ross and Lionel Richie with “Endless Love” • Olivia Newton-John with “Physical” • Roxy Music

• Bucks Fizz • Adam and the Ants • Michael Jackson • Queen • David Bowie

Technology • Scientists identify The Aids Virus • First Flight of US Space Shuttle Columbia • The European Rocket "Arianne" is launched • IBM in US launches its first PC which uses Microsoft Software MS DOS • The term INTERNET first mentioned • Post It Notes launched by 3M Corp • The World’s Fastest Train the French TGV goes into service between Paris and Lyons

• China Clones the first fish (Golden Carp) • Artificially Produced Insulin becomes the world’s first genetically engineered protein to treat human disease Diabetes • MS-DOS released by Microsoft

What Events Happened in 1981? Iran • Iran releases 52 American hostages, who had been held for 444 days Poland • Solidarity inspired popular protests and general strike lead to imposition of Martial Law and eventual outlawing of solidarity party in Poland

UK • Thatcher Government in England begin privatisation of Nationalised Industries creating economic revival, this format is later emulated in many other countries throughout the world U.S. • Air traffic controllers strike causing chaos in the US and the US President Ronald Reagan Fires Them Northern Ireland • Irish Republican Army member Bobby Sands dies on May 5th while on the hunger strike, during that time Bobby Sands is elected to Westminster as the MP for Fermanagh and South Tyrone. U.S. • Ronald Reagan becomes US President

France • The first high speed train service in Europe begins with the French TGV / high-speed train between Paris and Lyon UK • Following plans between European Countries and the US to base Nuclear Missiles in Europe protesters including those at Greenham Common picket US bases U.S. • Anti-nuclear protesters invade the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Reactor in California U.S. • Researchers find the wreck of the Titanic in the North Atlantic U.S. • Muhammad Ali finally retires with career record of 55 wins and 5 defeats U.S. • US brings in new disability eligibility rules for those claiming disability affecting 500,000 who lose benefits UK • Rupert Murdoch shuts down the Sunday Times due to an industrial dispute U.S. • Washington Post reporter Janet Cooke admits her feature was fabricated and relinquished the Pulitzer Prize U.S. • The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states could require parental notification when teenage girls seek abortions. UK • Peter Sutcliffe, the Yorkshire Ripper is caught, and imprisoned for life for 13 counts of murder Greece • Earthquake hits Athens, killing 16 people

Vatican • Pope John Paul II, is shot but not killed in Vatican City UK • Lady Diana Spencer marries Charles, Prince of Wales. Egypt • Egyptian president Anwar Sadat is assassinated U.S. • Sandra Day O'Connor is nominated to become the first female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. U.S. • The first American testtube baby, is born UK • Riots break out in a number of UK Cities including Brixton (London), Toxteth (Liverpool), and Moss Side (Manchester) U.S. • The introduction of the first Frequent Flyer Miles Advantage introduced by American Airlines (frequent flyer miles can be redeemed for free air travel) UK • Four senior Labour MP'S announce they will break away from Labour Party and set up the Social Democratic Party SDP under the leadership of Roy Jenkins Syria • 147 passengers and crew of a Pakistan Airways are taken hostage and released in Syria Bangladesh • Attempted coup in Bangladesh and the President Ziaur Rahman is murdered Antigua • Antigua and Barbuda Gains Independence from Great Britain UK • The First London Marathon is run in England

Friday, May 13, 2011

RETURN-A-BULLS

Just a quick note to let you know that the Bull Ring are back at the BSA school in Alicante this week and we cant wait to see what ideas the kids have come up with. Having spoken to head of business studies, John Thomas I know that the lads and lasses have been busy coming up with some interesting ideas. The team will be at the school from

3pm on Tuesday to listen as the kids present their ideas to the Bulls in front of an audience. Those whose ideas appeal to the ‘Bulls’ will be rewarded with the help and advice that the young entrepreneurs may need to get their idea off the ground. We’ll have a full report in next weeks Courier…unless they’ve tired me out by then.

I must have a guilty face Reading (and writing) the story of the couple terrorised by the car-jackers near Madrid made me think of something. These guys have been at it now (robbing foreigners) for a couple of months or so and they haven’t been caught. The Guardia haven’t even got a sniff of them. And, they’ve car-jacked or attempted to rob foreigners in their cars some 90 times! And the police miss them every single time. Now, I can bet you next months salary (trust me, don’t get excited…) that if I go along the motorway, in a Spanish registered car by the way, keeping within the speed limits and driving safely and considerately – some git in a police car will stop me. Ok, so ‘git’ is probably a little unfair but he (invariably it’s a ‘he’) will then proceed to go through my paper-

work as if I was an Arab trying to get a part-time job in the US senate. The fact that my NIE has my very first address in Spain on it is ‘wrong’ and when I point out that most of the population have the same problem – he tells me (accurately as it happens) that he hasn’t stopped most of the population, just me. Ok, fair enough, go about your duty guys but just one thing? How is it that ‘three foreign looking gentlemen’ can cruise the highways surrounding Madrid in a nicked Mercedes, carrying guns and looking shifty (well they do don’t they…) while I get pulled over more often than a Moroccan in a white van. Having said all that I’m due to spend the night out with a pair of officers from the Guardia Civil this month, so I’ll ask…or maybe not…

Morons are rubbish

CAM BANKS ONLY INTEREST IS ‘INTEREST’ I know Tony Mayes is going to have a go about banks in his column next week, and I know from talking to readers that many have had an ‘interesting’ or frustrating experience in a Spanish bank. So I thought I’d chuck my two-penneth worth in too. Do you need some time on your own? Need to be undisturbed for hours on end and just left to your own thoughts? We all do don’t we? I know I certainly do and I’ve found the perfect place to do it…my local branch of CAM bank. There I can guarantee that, while there are others around me, in my (or any?) branch of CAM and I stand and think (also known as queuing) for hours on end without the distraction of a bank clerk calling my name. and even if I should reach the front of the queue before winter I am safe in the knowledge that once I reach her desk she’ll pick up the phone and deal with Mr ‘Lucky’

(or MR Smart…?) on the other end leaving me a good ten more minutes to, er, think. If it comes across that I don’t like the CAM bank then that’d be about right. The bank that likes to say ‘commission’ has not done me any favours over the years, one or two I cant even write about but it sums it up really when I tell you that I even put in a complaint form at my local branch but I guess I’m being a little optimistic in expecting a swift reply, after all it was only two months ago… I asked for an appointment with the manager, they said she’d call, she didn’t. I phoned their central office and said I wanted to complain about my branch. They told me I had to ask THE branch for a complaint for and hand it back in…to the branch that I’m complaining about. I wonder how long it was before my letter hit the bottom of the bin? However, knowing the CAM they’ll charge me a commission for reading it…

I’ve written about this before and, mainly because of two reasons I’m gonna do it again. Litter. Or more specifically litter thrown from cars. If you do it, then you are a moron. Pure and simple. Sorry but why cant people take it home with them and why, and how do they justify chucking a McDonalds carton out of

the window – when I’m on my motorbike behind! There’s one particular guy in my town that drives a pick up truck and throws his empty cigarette packets onto the street as he drives. He did it in front of me once and I stopped and picked it up. When he stopped at the next junction I pulled alongside and dropped the fag packet into the back of his truck. He went mental. Jumping out of the truck he raced over and started calling me ‘hijo de puta’ which I translated to ‘hi, I’m a moron’. He was livid and it didn’t take long for the commotion (his car was also blocking the road) to attract the attention of the boys in blue, the locals. Great, someone with some sense to sort it out I’d thought. Ten minutes later I’d been cautioned for admitting to throwing the litter into his truck and severely warned not to do it again. The other guy drove off with no problems… the reason said the officer – ‘you admitted it….’

Friday, May 13, 2011

It’s turning out not nice again As the North Pole melts the famous enjoy an ice and a slice and a nice clean gagging order Tony Mayes asks why a blanket of ice is disappearing and how ‘celebrities’ can hide beneath a gagging order. Do you think that all the talk over recent years about global warming is just a load of scare tactics to try to con more out of us through green taxes, or do you believe there's a real threat? Personally, I believe that global warming and its effects represent just as great a threat to mankind as the proliferation of nuclear weapons back in the '60s and '70s. And the latest bit of data from scientists I find the most worrying yet. They have been watching the loss of ice from Greenland and Antarctica and have discovered that over the past 20 years ice has been disappearing at an ever increasing rate. The two ice sheets are now losing enough ice to be able to raise sea levels by 1.3mm each year. Add to that ice melt from mountains and glaciers around the world and the natural effect of the expansion of water as it warms, and the overall effect will be to raise sea levels by a foot within 40 years. By the end of the century sea levels would be 22ins higher. That's sufficient to swamp many low lying areas around the world, and unfortunately many of these places have very high populations. It puts at risk low lying parts of Torrevieja and the seafront towns and urbanisations around the Mar Menor, for example. But global warming does not end with just sea level rise. It brings about huge changes in weather patterns and makes our weather far more extreme. The recent storms across the mid-west of America, the most violent in living memory resulting in the loss of at least 250 lives, is yet another wake up call, that is if we really need yet another.

GAGGING TO HIDE THINGS

OK, the sceptics among us will say we have always had severe weather events and the planet will compensate for the effects of increased pollution and high greenhouse gasses. I would suggest that these people trying to dismiss the effects of global warming are those with a vested interest in preserving the status quo - for example those making a fortune out of the oil industry and continued manufacture of vehicles driven by fossil fuels. It was exactly the same denial which for years hushed up the scientific studies which showed the direct link between smoking and lung cancer. So, next time you hear a global warming warning, don't bury your head in the sand - in a few years’ time that sand might be under the sea.

If there's one thing I hate it's the "great and the good" looking after themselves at the expense of the rest of us. Latest example is the legal profession and judges building up case law to create super injunctions to prevent the publication of the wrong-doings of the rich and famous. Don't get me wrong, I hate those publications whose continued existence is based on pathetic tittle-tattle. But I hate more, the ability of people in the public eye - footballers, politicians, actors, TV personalities and many others with clout to be able to rush to a court and get a gagging order to hush up their horrible wrong-doings. I'm glad that at long last BBC journalist Andrew Marr confessed that he was one of those who obtained a super injunction to prevent the disclosure that he had had an affair. He was a total hypocrite as a journalist interviewing others about wrong-doings and gagging the Press about his own indiscretion. Equally the BBC must have been aware and yet continued to employ him in his 600,000 pound a year job. The problem is that judges are often only too willing to push the boundaries in gagging the press because who knows, they might be next in wanting to suppress some murky wrong-doing in their own lives. So let's get sensible legislation that establishes proper boundaries over what is an intrusion in private life and what is in the public interest. A person who has got rich and famous by performing in public and becomes a person who society looks up to, should not be able to use the law to gag the press if he or she falls from grace.

Friday, May 13, 2011

San Pedro Pergolas San Pedro Pergolas is situated in San Pedro del Pinatar. We specialise in bespoke made to measure summerhouses, pergolas, car ports and sheds. Decking for private and commercial use e.g. around your pool areas and patios as well as commercial smoking areas and extended wooden patios for tables and chairs covered by pergolas if required. We also offer a complete refurbishment service for cafes and bars from interior to exterior by our fully qualified shopfitting staff. All your requirements are not only made to measure but priced accordingly. All the timber we use is specially treated and coloured for all different conditions on the Costa Blanca e.g. sun for pergolas and decking. Our decking is also covered against chlorine and colour depreciation. For a free no obligation quotation and site visit please do not hesitate to contact us during office hours and we can assist you with any information you require and give you a competitive price for your pergola, decking, summerhouse or shed. For further information please contact us between 9.00 am â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5.00 pm MondaySaturday on: Tel: 610 180 040 693 039 794 (Espanol) www.sanpedropergolas.es E-mail: info@sanpedropergolas.es

Friday, May 13, 2011

SMUGGLERS MAKE A HASH OF IT

BABY FOR SALE ON MURCIA’S STREETS

Desperate couple try and sell their fifth child TOURISTS and locals were shocked last week when a couple were seen approaching people in the streets of Murcia and offering ‘their’ baby for sale for just 5000€. They were arrested after concerned observers called the police and reported the strange behaviour. In a statement police said the couple, who have not been named, were reported to have approached at least four different women during the day on the streets of Alcantarilla, which is near the coast of Murcia, offering to sell their five-month old daughter for the sum 5,000€. However, having been turned down every time the persistent, and desperate,

left their mobile phone number with some women just in case they changed their minds. Obviously not the sharpest pencils in the bag the two were immediately traced by police. At first nobody could believe that the child did in fact belong to the couple and Police said they at first suspected the child may not have belonged to the pair but they later confirmed by showing paperwork that in fact they were trying to sells their own daughter. The couple have four older children all living with them at their home in Alcantarilla but this baby has been taken away from them and has now been placed in care.

BUMPER EASTER EGGS ON TOURIST INDUSTRY By Spike A LORRY intercepted by Spanish police travelling along the A-7 in Benidorm was found to be carrying a ton of hashish. The 38 tonne truck had a lookout van driving some distance ahead to keep an eye out for police but the authorities got suspicious and following a check on vehicle registrations, they decided to pull the truck over. The journey is believed to have begun in Almería with the vehicles steadily making their way up the coast to Barcelona which was the final destination for the truck full of drugs. Police believe the haul they recovered last week is just part of a major drug smuggling operation by gangs in the Catalan capital. They have evidence that the gang was based in Terrassa, Barcelona, and carried out drug trafficking on a grand scale but now are on the run. The investigation is being run in partnership with several other authorities including the participation of the GRECO agents from the Levante, plus Judicial Police from Alicante and Barcelona, and Crime Prevention and Reaction unit from Alicante. The police made two arrests which were the drivers of two vehicles. This incident shows the increased drug trafficking that Spanish authorities are now fighting; just a few days before a gang of 18 people were arrested after two tons of

drugs were recovered in two separate police operations in Dénia. The local judge even decided in this case, due to the amount of drugs involved, to send seven of those arrested directly to jail on remand. The operation to capture the smugglers was led by the EDOA anti-drug and organised crime team from Alicante alongside the Calpe judicial police. The 16 arrested are Spanish; most of them have previous police records, and were detained in Dénia and Ondara in the north of the Alicante province. Other arrests were made following information in Barcelona and Girona. It is suspected that the gang operated along the Mediterranean coast and hired luxury yachts to travel to Morocco to collect the drugs. The other operation, which was implemented by the National Police UDCO unit from Alicante, a further two people were arrested at motorway toll booths on the AP-7 near Dénia. They were arrested on suspicion of transporting 10,000 kilos of drugs every month from Almería up and down the coast. Both were detained pending further investigation by the judge last week. One of the men, a 55 year old Spaniard, is alleged to have transported cocaine hidden in wooden planks while his co-conspirator acted as a look out.

By Spike AN unexpected bumper Easter came to the Costas last month with 34 per cent of the tourists visiting Alicante at Easter coming from the U.K., according to info from the Patronato Municipal de Turismo which was released last week. 25% of visitors to Alicante over the holidays were from the Madrid region and most visitors to the tourist office inn Alicante wanted more information on fiestas, leisure options, cultural activities, local cuisine and the local transport network. In a statement, Councillor for Tourism, Marta García-Romeu, said that the towns and cities of the region had seen their streets and squares full of tourists who had come to enjoy the regions many processions and the variety of attractions on offer

during Easter. Despite the bad weather experienced on some days. This comes on top of the news that the number of flight seats booked for this summer in Spain has seen an increase of 7.4per cent compared to this time last year. And according to the Ministry for Development, over 40 million travellers used Spanish airports during the first quarter of the year signalling an increase which is so important to the region as tourism will be the mainstay of recovery in the numbers of air traveller for Spain. At Barcelona’s El Prat airport the number of travellers rose by 15.5% to 6.6 million in the first quarter, compared to last year and interestingly the first quarter also saw a 3.9% increase in the number of people travelling by train in Spain.

Friday, May 13, 2011

The Commitments Rock the House THEY were dancing in the aisles at The Municipal Theatre in Torrevieja on Saturday night! This was a brand new venue for Heatwave Promotions and something of an unknown quantity but there was no need to worry; the whole evening was a complete triumph. Heatwave Promotions had flown a top Blues Brothers Tribute Show in from the UK to support the headline act from Ireland, Dave F i n n e g a n ' s Commitments. The highly expectant audience were not disappointed and were up on their feet dancing within the first few numbers. Ever keen to provide the best value for money that they possibly can, Heatwave Promotions had engaged this fantastic tribute to The Blues Brothers for a one hour set and it flew by as they treated the audience to one hit after another. There was barely time to get your breath back before Dave Finnegan and his superb 8 piece band took to

the stage. Finnegan played drummer Mickah Wallace in the 1991 classic movie, The Commitments and it was clear from the reception that he received that the majority of the audience were big fans of the movie, the man and the music. The set ran almost two hours and included every one of the tracks from one of the most famous movie soundtracks in history. The sound quality in this superb venue was spot on and two minor hitches with the equipment were swiftly and expertly resolved,

detracting not at all from the enjoyment of the fans.It was good to see such a cosmopolitan audience too. This was thanks in part to the universal appeal of both acts and also to the involvement of the Torrevieja Town Hall with the advertising and promotion of the event. The next Heatwave Promotion presentation is The Temptations on 10th June, again at the Municipal Theatre. This concert was originally due to take place in December 2010 at The Orihuela Costa Resort but was unfortunately post-

poned due to the snow which brought half of Europe to a standstill at that time. The venue has been changed to a larger one in order to accommodate those concert goers who were unable to get a ticket to last year's sold out event. All ticket holders from the postponed concert have been allocated new tickets and these can be collected from the offices of Sunworld Real Estate in Los Dolses from today onwards. Previous ticket holders need to take their original tickets along to Sunworld in order to receive their new tickets. There are a limited amount of tickets left for The Temptations and after seeing the show on Saturday night, it is guaranteed that there will be a rush for this show too. Visit www.heatwavepromotions.com for details of how and where to get your tickets. Oh yes, and dust off your dancing shoes too – you're going to need them!

PEELING ONIONS MAKES YOU CRY

Especially when the woman doing it stabs you!

By Spike

HAVING stabbed a man just a few moments before a middle aged woman asked police for her knife back as she wanted ‘to peel some onions’, and while the emergency services were trying to carry out their work, the woman came down to the doorway where they were treating the injured man and calmly made her request. Witnesses told us that they thought she was ‘probably drunk’ as police stormed the building and arrested her before taking her away for questioning in Alicante. The woman claimed innocence stating that the victim had somehow decided to stab himself, but a spokesman for the police said he thought that was ‘unlikely.’ The victim was attended to by a mobile SAMU unit in the doorway of the block flats where he lived and where the stabbing happened in Calle Berenguer de Marquina around midday and after arresting the woman the National Police from Alicante said that they believe that the woman stabbed the 41 year old man from Eastern Europe over a debt of 500€.

Exercise goes down a bomb!

A French minesweeper, the Orion, which was happily taking part in naval exercises off the coast of Alicante, has recovered an old sea mine in waters off the Isla de Tabarca. Found by on April 29, the French ship had been taking part in the ‘Spanish Minex-11’ manoeuvres, which is a multinational exercise for training in mine warfare that takes place annually. The event is cooperation between naval fleets from Spain, Portugal, Poland, Germany and France who are all involved in tracking and making safe fake mines which in reality could have been planted by terrorists to disrupt maritime traffic. Although this time the naval fleets got a bit of a shock when the real thing was found, it was made safe and identified as Italian…so it probably wasn’t reliable anyway…

Friday, May 13, 2011

ROGUE TRADERS DON’T GET RIPPED OFF – FOLLOW OUR USEFUL GUIDE TO SPOTTING THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY OF THE TRADES OUT THERE Had so many letters about this we thought it was time to help our readers with The Courier guide to spotting cowboy traders

Spotting a Rogue Trader Traders such as these will often use a range of techniques to encourage you to hand over your cash there and then. So - beware of people who say things like: • "Congratulations! You've won a prize which means you can get a special discount for replacing and repairing roof tiles. Just sign here to claim…" • "I was just passing and noticed your gutter is starting to come away…" • "I don't mean to worry you, but there have been a lot of burglaries in the area recently" • "This offer is only available today. If you don't sign up to this now the price will be 50% higher come tomorrow." • "If you pay cash right now I can give you a special discount..." Of course, we all need home improvement work on occasions. But you can protect yourself from rogue traders by asking these questions: • How long has your company been in business? • Do you have a trade premises I can visit? • Are you a member of a Trade Association? • Can I see some references for similar work you've done in the past and can I speak to the people for whom the work has been done? • Have you got insurance to cover against any damage to my or my neighbour's property? • Is all your work guaranteed and will this be insurance backed*? (* An insurance backed guarantee means that an insurer will make certain any guarantee work is performed even if the business with which you contracted has ceased trading)

Trust TIBA

You can never presume that a tradesman will answer such questions correctly and honestly – but any who stumble over their answers or are uncomfortable or unconvincing are best avoided. Better still call the Fair Trading Service, who can help you check whether what you have been told is correct or not.

Choosing a Good Trader Don't just think about questions to ask a tradesman – there are questions you should really ask yourself before agreeing to any work: For example: • Can I afford this work? • Do I normally pay large sums of money to firms I know nothing about? • Do I need to have this work done straight away? • Will this work be good value? • Would I have got this work done even if a doorstep trader had not called? • Do I know how to contact the seller if things go wrong? • What happens if I change my mind? • Is this offer too good to be true? If, after all of this, you still decide to go ahead and get work done, it is recommended that you get at least 3 quotes. Make sure that you clearly specify what needs to be done, and that all parts of the job you require are outlined in a written quotation. When you come to consider the three quotes, remember to take into account not just the price, but issues such as the trader's reputation and status within the industry.

Choosing a Rogue Trader If you have not followed the above advice and find that you have agreed to some work that you did not want or cannot afford, then remember - you may still be able to get out of the contract. And remember: Never sign something to waive you right to cancel.

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Member profile: The Embroidery Workshop: We are a family run personalised clothing business that prides itself on quality garments and top notch embroidery at prices that are much lower than the quality warrants. We have over 20 years design experience and that coupled with our attention to detail, and our ability to go the extra mile ensures customer satisfaction at every level. Be it on team event clothing, work-wear, school-wear, baseball caps, towels or dressing gowns, there isn't a garment we can't sew your logo onto. We want you to look good without paying a fortune and we have no minimum order quantity. FREE STUFF We will design your logo for free. We will produce your artwork for free and you will get our professional advice for free.

We are based in Jacarilla and on the Orihuela Costa, operating throughout the Costa Blanca and Costa Calida regions. See our catalogue online at www.EmbroideryWorkshop.net or email us at info@embroideryworkshop.net or telephone us on 966 770 964.

Friday, May 13, 2011

WHAT THE SPAN

SPAIN GETS A MAKEOVER Better legislation for foreign house-buyers By Dave Bull SPAIN’S housing minister Jose Blanco opened the Spanish Property Roadshow with a pledge of ‘trust us’ as he was trying to encourage British buyers back by promising that their investments will be safe. The show which is on in London is part of the effort to show that Spain has changed its spots with Blanco claiming that now was an ideal time to buy in Spain due to low prices and new legislation to protect investors. He went on to say that a new 'solid framework' guaranteed that 'it is safe to buy a house in Spain' and his promise comes despite the on-going saga in Spain which has seen some British homeowners evicted from their homes and, in some cases, having their properties bulldozed. Another problem to hit Spain has been that many foreign buyers have been affected by lax legislation which allowed properties to be built on rural land, only to be declared illegal once completed and it includes as many as 300,000 supposedly illegal properties in the Andalucía region, of southern Spain, alone. Other problems have included several rural banks collapsing after taking on too many risky mortgages and construction companies going bust after accepting deposits from buyers many of whom were expats.

BETTER IF HE’D GONE TO TRIAL Zapatero admits he’d rather have seen Al-Qaeda leader in court By Spike

Jose Blanco But, Mr Blanco insisted that of the 850,000 Britons currently living in Spain, it is only one per cent that was affected by the scandal. And went on to promise that new legislation had increased transparency in the market and he unveiled plans for an online registry which allows British buyers to check if there are outstanding debts or other matters relating to a property before buying. In the last two years property prices in Spain have dropped by around 24 per cent although in the south that has been as much as a 40 per cent per cent drop but Blanco insisted that the Spanish economy is showing the green shoots of recovery. The resale market is doing very well with many people taking advantage of bargains that are plentiful at the moment.

JOSE LUIS ZAPATERO, Spain’s Prime Minister became one of the first western leaders to admit that he would have preferred to have seen bin Laden go on trial saying, "Any democrat would have preferred to see him stand trial," However, he refused to criticise the killing of the world's most wanted man in the raid by US Special Forces last week saying that bin Laden had "sought his own destiny." But extremist Gaspar Llamazares, deputy of left wing party Izquierda Unida (IU), said the killing of bin Laden's was "extra-judicial murder" and an act of "state terrorism" and asked why the Spanish leader was so enthusiastic about his death following Zapatero’s congratulatory message to US President Barack Obama. At a press conference last week Zapatero said, "It's likely that bin Laden sought his own destiny, the blood on bin Laden's hands sealed his own fate." Going on to add that he would have rather seen the man brought to justice he said, "any democrat would have preferred bin Laden stood trial, but that I understand why it happened in the way it did for one of history's bloodiest criminals." In a telegram sent Monday to the US president, Mr Zapatero wrote: "I would like to express to you, on behalf of my Government and Spanish society, the satisfaction shared with the American

Gaspar Llamazares people over the result of the anti-terrorism operation which has led to the death of Bin Laden. In 2004 Madrid was the site of the worst terrorist attack in Europe carried out in the name of al Qaeda when Islamist militants detonated bombs in four packed commuter trains at the same time killing 191 people and wounding more than 2,000. In a statement afterwards terrorists claimed that the attacks were inspired but not ordered by al Qaeda. Leftist, Llamazares had asked for an apology from the FBI in January 2010 after they used his image from an old campaign poster to create a mock-up of how bin Laden might have looked digitally enhancing the image using Llamazares forehead, hair and jawline and cut-andpasting bin Laden's features on it to show how he might look.

Friday, May 13, 2011

NISH PAPERS SAY

CHE’S MOTORBIKE PARTNER DIES AGED 88

Expats: ‘quality of life better here than UK’

ACCORDING to the a report conducted by NatWest Nine out of 10 Britons living abroad say they have a much better quality of life than they would enjoy in the UK. Also, those who work reportedly earn up to 20,000€ more and the vast majority (87 per cent) believe their work-life balance is better than it would be in the UK. It goes to show that far from an ‘exodus’ of expats from Spain most are very happily staying here and even more said living abroad exceeded their expectations - 92 per cent compared with 86 per cent in 2008,. Another change in recent times is that now just one in five now say they will return to the UK compared to 26 per cent in 2008. Dave Isley, head of NatWest's International Personal Banking division, said: ''It seems the grass really is greener for Brits living abroad as our study shows. ''The fact that fewer expats say they will return to the UK in the future, compared to three years ago, proves that the pace of life, work-life balance and earning potential abroad means life as an expat is sunnier in

SCOTS VICTIM OF FRANCO DEMANDS JUSTICE

Stuart Christie was on a mission to assassinate General Franco when he was arrested in Madrid in 1964. A Scottish anarchist, Stuart Christie, 65 was caught in 1964 with plastic explosives after collecting them from fellow anarchists in Paris and then he crossed the Spanish border with them hidden on his body, has accused the Spanish government of ignoring his attempts to be recognised as a Francoist victim. Christie spent time in General Franco's jails following the smuggling of explomore ways than one - and that they are sives which were to be used to assassinate the dictator and in his book he says, weathering the financial storm.'' A majority of 53 per cent of Spanish expats ‘with the plastic explosive strapped to are still confident they will be better off me, my body was improbably misshapen. financially in five years' time, but life abroad The only way to disguise myself was with is not only about money apparently- the the baggy woollen jumper my granny had highest reported earning countries knitted to protect me from the biting (Singapore, UAE, China and Hong Kong) Clydeside winds. At the risk of underranked bottom of the quality index, with the statement, I looked out of place on the majority of expats in these areas planning Mediterranean coast in August.’ Christie spent three years in prison to return home in the future (62, 67, 84 and 69 per cent respectively) while us lot are before the Franco regime answered the quite content to put up with the sun and many protests in Britain and released him. sangria here, well most of us. However, Spain’s historical memory law The survey was carried out by the Centre states that Francoist sentences cannot for Future Studies for NatWest IPB. 1,306 expats living in Australia, Canada, be overturned but his lawyer Servando China, France, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Rocha demanded that he be offered Portugal, South Africa, Singapore, Spain, recognition for having suffered at the UAE and USA were surveyed between hands of Franco’s illegitimate court. He went on to accuse the government of October and November 2009. They rated natural environment top, fol- stalling the process of recognising lowed by climate, culture and leisure, health Christie’s case and giving him with what care, education, financial security, safety is known as a "certificate of personal and security, financial well-being and infra- recognition and reparation". The certificates, are designed to avoid structure.

Stuart Christie fought against Franco and was sentenced to 20 years giving claimants such as Christie any reason to demand compensation from the Spanish state over matters that occurred inn Spain's complicated past. But Spain's justice ministry has not yet managed to produce a certificate even though it has already admitted that it has had all the necessary paperwork from Christie for two years. Christie has asked that the 20-year prison sentence, given to him when he was an 18-year-old by a Francoist council of war in 1964, to be overturned. He said in an appeal to the government, "I hope you can explain to me, once and for all, the real reason why my application, submitted on 22 June 2009, still remains unresolved," His solicitor, referring to elections due by next March, added, ‘They will have to give it to him in the end, but they are stretching time out as long as possible, perhaps because they want the next government to deal with it,"

Friday, May 13, 2011

MAR AZUL SPORTS DAY

Mar Azul International School held their annual Sports Day on the 12 th of April at Torrevieja Sports Centre. The whole school took part in this fantastic event. Rachel head of Mar Azul School told us ” I was overwhelmed with the support from the parents and pupils on the day, all of the staff put in a lot of effort to ensure that the sports day was fun for everyone. The school really pulled together to provide a fantastic day of sporting achievement, well done” Geraldine Finnegan four times World Champion Heptathlete presented the children of Mar Azul International School with their wining medals which were kindly donated by Junior Strikers Football School. Geraldine is now workSports Day Results: 100m Sprint - Girls - Cortni Serwotka 100m Sprint - Boys - James Brown 100m Sprint - Girls - Paige Dawson 100m Sprint - Boys - Shane Townsend 100m Sprint - Girls - Hannah Cox 100m Sprint - Boys - Daniel Izaguirre 100m Sprint - Girls - Dominique Turner 100m Sprint - Boys - Harry Smith 100m Sprint - Girls - Maisy Brown 200m Sprint - Boys - Victor Brooks 200m Sprint - Girls - Kirsty Ferries 200m Sprint - Boys - Callum Johnson 200m Sprint - Girls - Paige Pickford 200m Sprint - Boys - Aiden Lech 200m Sprint - Boys - James Wilson Pestell 200m Sprint - Girls - Cortni Serwotka

ing with the school’s Sports Academy to help grow and develop their sporting stars of tomorrow. Rachel told us” Geraldine is absolutely brilliant, she is having such a positive effect on the children of the sports academy, she is a real inspiration for all children at the school” Rachel would like to thank Geraldine for all her hard work. To view all pictures of the sports day please visit marazulinternationalschool.com if you require information about Mar Azul International School and their forthcoming Holiday Club please contact the school on 965 720785 or email office@marlazulinternationalschool.com 200m Sprint - Boys - Joshua Charles 200m Sprint - Girls - Maisy Brown 400m - Boys - James Brown 400m - Girls - Nadya Cheetham 400m - Boys - Liam Johnson 400m - Girls - Jodi Watts 800m - Boys - Akash Panchal Championship Races 50m Primary Girls - Maisy Brown 50m Primary Boys - Ludvik Sandstrom 100mSecondary Girls Yr 7&8 - Nadya Cheetham 100mSecondary Boys Yr 7&8 - James Brown 100mSecondary Boys Yr 9,10&11 - India Pirie 100mSecondary Girls Yr 9,10&11 -Shane Town

Friday, May 13, 2011

KIDDIES CORNER

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE AND WIN!

Make an Egg Float in Salt Water An egg sinks to the bottom if you drop it into a glass of ordinary drinking water but what happens if you add salt? The results are very interesting and can teach you some fun facts about density. What you'll need: •One egg •Water •Salt •A tall drinking glass

Kids News

Prince William and Kate Middleton marry at Westminster Abbey in London, England Love is in the air! Hundreds of thousands of fans lined the streets of London and millions worldwide watched on television as Britain's Prince William married Kate Middleton in London's grandest church, Westminster Abbey. Prince William is second in line to Britain's throne, after his father, Prince Charles. After the ceremony, Queen Elizabeth II gave the newlyweds new royal titles. They are now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. For the wedding, William, a military man, wore the scarlet red tunic of an Irish Guards officer. Kate revealed her much-anticipated, highly secret satin and lace white dress. Their smiles and joy lit up the church and drew cheers from excited onlookers as the bride and groom rode in an open carriage from the ceremony at Westminster Abbey to Buckingham Palace, to begin a full day of parties and receptions.

A Strike Against Terror President Barack Obama announced the death of terrorist Osama bin Laden on Sunday night Osama bin Laden, leader of the terrorist group al-Qaeda, was killed in a firefight with U.S. forces on Sunday night in Abbottabad, Pakistan. The military operation took about 40 minutes. No Americans were killed. The world's most-wanted terrorist was tracked down in a hideout about 90 miles north of Islamabad,

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Scenes From a Royal Wedding

Pakistan's capital. U.S. helicopters carried about two dozen troops into the compound, which is surrounded by 18-foot-high walls and topped with barbed wire. Bin Laden was killed, officials said, after he and his bodyguards resisted the assault. "Justice has been done," President Barack Obama said in a television appearance late Sunday night. Why Bin Laden? Bin Laden's death marks the end of a 10-year search that began after the September 11 attacks by al-Qaeda, the terrorist group he founded. Hijackers flew planes into the World Trade Center twin towers in New York City, and into the Pentagon—headquarters of the U.S. Department of Defense—in Washington, D.C. A fourth plane crashed into the Pennsylvania countryside. Nearly 3,000 people were killed in the attacks. Al-Qaeda was also blamed for the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies in Africa that killed 231 people, the 2000 attack on the USS Cole that killed 17 American sailors in Yemen, as well as countless other plots. "We have rid the world of the most infamous terrorist of our time," Leon Panetta, director of the Central Intelligence Agency, wrote in a memo to employees. Panetta was in charge of the military team during the operation, according to one official. Speaking at the White House on Monday, President Obama said the world is safer after the death of bin Laden. "We can all agree that this is a good day for America," he said.

Instructions: 1.Pour water into the glass until it is about half full. 2.Stir in lots of salt (about 6 tablespoons). 3.Carefully pour in plain water until the glass is nearly full (be careful to not disturb or mix the salty water with the plain water). 4.Gently lower the egg into the water and watch what happens. What's happening? Salt water is denser than ordinary tap water, the denser the liquid the easier it is for an object to float in it. When you lower the egg into the liquid it drops through the normal tap water until it reaches the salty water, at this point the water is dense enough for the egg to float. If you were careful when you added the tap water to the salt water, they will not have mixed, enabling the egg to amazingly float in the middle of the glass.

Friday, May 13, 2011

WHAT THE BRITISH PAPERS SAY

From (SUN LOGO) last week: Clegg crisis after vote disaster DOES Nick Clegg's thrashing signal the end of the Coalition? The answer is no - not yet. But it must surely be the beginning of the end. The voters' message is that the Lib Dems are catastrophically damaged and perhaps finished as a political force. They must now cling to their detested Tory partners for dear life - or risk obliteration in a general election. Equally obvious is Ed Miliband's failure as a charismatic leader in his first major test.

He scored a few extra council seats but LOST the AV campaign he led and was humiliated in Labour's former Scottish heartlands. But this was a stunning result for David Cameron. The Tories, braced for sweeping losses, actually gained a couple of councils and held more seats than they had dared hope. Labour and the Lib Dems now know that anyone who pulls the plug on the Coalition and forces a snap election could see the Tories storm to victory. Nick Clegg's arch-enemy, Chris Huhne, will think carefully before trying to kick him out. It could be suicide.

Yet all this makes it much harder for David Cameron if he is tempted to throw face-saving concessions to the Lib Dems to save Mr Clegg's neck. Right-wing Tories feel they have already swallowed plenty on issues like law and order, tax rates and EU meddling. The results may encourage them to dig their heels in. By TOM NEWTON DUNN Political Editor, and GRAEME WILSON, Deputy Political Editor. Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3567462/Clegg-crisis-aftervote-disaster.html#ixzz1LgJz5mlq

MADDIE MUM: MY TORTURE Madeleine McCann's mother Kate reveals paedophile fears in new book in The Sun By ANTONELLA LAZZERI and OLIVER HARVEY Madeleine McCann's mother has told for the first time of terrible visions that her kidnapped daughter is being abused by a pervert. In a heart-rending book serialised from today in The Sun, Kate, 43, writes how she is haunted by

"flashes" of Madeleine "screaming" for her and husband Gerry. The couple also tell The Sun exclusively about being at the centre of one of the most harrowing stories of modern times. Kate says four years after her three-year-old was snatched on a family holiday in Portugal: "The

idea that my Madeleine was taken by a paedophile is my worst fear. "I became consumed with it. It was torture for me. It was horrible, so vivid. "It's worse when I go to bed and think about that first awful night again, when Madeleine went missing. "That sense of dark and fear, of being desperate to

sleep but not being able to. I just end up plummeting down again." The emotion-charged book by ex-GP Kate is titled simply Madeleine. She and consultant cardiologist Gerry, 42, admit they are plagued by guilt over the night Madeleine vanished from their holiday apartment in Praia da Luz while they enjoyed a meal with friends at a tapas bar. Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/n ews/3567599/MADDIEM U M - M Y- TO R T U R E Madeleine-McCanns-mumKate-reveals-paedophilefears-in-new-book-in-TheSun.html#ixzz1LgKVUT5O

The Daily Express Saturday May 7 ‘DISABLED’ SWINDLER IS CAUGHT SKY-DIVING A BENEFITS cheat who claimed she could only walk with crutches sky-dived from a plane at 12,000ft, a court was told yesterday. Clare Jones, 37, gave a thumbs-up sign as she made the tandem jump harnessed to an experienced parachutist. She had paid another sky-diver to film her hurtling towards the ground at 120mph. The film shows her landing comfortably on both feet and smiling and chatting with the camera operator. But investigators, acting on an anonymous tip-off, later seized the damning footage as proof of her fraud. It was viewed yesterday by magistrates at Pontypridd, Mid Glamorgan, as the motherof-three admitted fiddling £6,000 in incapacity benefits and disability living allowance. Jones, of Tonypandy, had made at least 40 visits to a gym using the facilities, swimming pool and sauna.

Clare Jones, 37, gave a thumbs-up sign as she made the tandem jump By John Tworney Read more: http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/245194 /-Disabled-swindler-is-caught-sky-diving-Disabled-swindler-is-caught-sky-diving#ixzz1LgMYlulc

From the Daily Mail last weekend INSIDE OSAMA'S SQUALID HIDEAWAY New pictures emerge as The White House gets set to release Bin Laden pics. Shaky footage shows a litter-strewn compound in a barely habitable state. U.S. may also release home videos found during raid . House worth no more than $250,000 say experts. Extraordinary footage of Osama Bin Laden's secret compound in Abbottabad show the terror leader had been living in virtual squalor. Strewn with rubbish and with paint peeling off the walls, the dirtinfested compound appears barely habit-

able and is a far cry from initial claims the compound was a sophisticated £1m hideaway. The ramshackle structure resembles a building site and the pictures of the outside show steel rods protruding from the roof, suggesting it may have been incomplete. Of course, some damage would have been caused during the American Navy Seal mission to capture the 9/11 mastermind, but the footage is still very revealing. By Daily Mail Reporter Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article1384573/Osama-Bin-Ladens-squalidhideaway-pictures.html#ixzz1LgNiPkUY

Friday, May 13, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses. SOLVED: Jackie was having some trouble with Internet Explorer displaying incorrectly Richard, I don’t know why but when I go online on my netbook, the image is bigger than the screen so I can’t see the toolbar at the top and therefore can’t get off whatever web page I am on. It hasn’t always been like this. What have I done to cause this? The computer is working fine apart from that.

Q A

Hi Jackie, it wasn’t at first obvious to me what your problem was, however after a quick phone call it was clear that you had inadvertently pressed the F11 button whilst using Internet Explorer. What this does is place the program in “full screen” mode and it removes the navigation bars from the top and bottom leaving you with just the web page. It can be pretty disconcerting if you don’t know you have done it, but just pressing the F11 button again will put things back to how they should be.

Steve had a question about his AVG antivirus running out and what he could do.

Q A

Hi Richard, my AVG anti virus tells me that it needs to be updated, but every time I click on the link it tries to sell me the full version, is the free version not available any more?

Hi Steve, AVG do this from time to time, when they release a new version of their excellent antivirus product they promote the 'paid for' new alternative - I assume that it's their way of making extra sales. You're right though, the free edition is still available and you can download it from this link http://free.avg.com/us-en/download. You don't need to remove your old version as the new one will automatically detect what is missing and upgrade it where necessary. One of the bad things about the new version is its sheer size, it's a download of over 100Mb, so if you fancy a change or your Internet connection isn't that good you should consider swapping to Microsoft Security Essentials, it a much smaller download, it's also free and its doing pretty well in critical review as well - it can be downloaded from http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/security_essentials

Dave was having difficulty typing emails because he kept accidentally pressing the caps-lock key Hi Richard, love the column, thought I would write to ask you about my new laptop, I have had it only 3 weeks and it's driving me mad! I keep accidentally pressing the capslock key and I dont notice until I have been typing for ages. I'm not great with a computer and the problem is that whilst I have been concentrating on the keyboard I look up and find a whole paragraph of text, half of which is in capitals, I then have to delete it and start again - you won't believe how long it takes me to write an email! Is there anything I can do?

Hi Dave, well my gut reaction was no, there is nothing you can do, other than stop pressing the caps-lock key, however following a bit of research and talking to my partners in the UK, it seems that you can disable the key that is causing you problems in Windows 7 and given that you mention you have had your computer for only 3 weeks I am going to assume that is what you are using? To disable the caps-lock key you will need to edit the registry, this is something that is really well "under the bonnet" stuff and should only be considered by an experienced engineer so I would advise you don't do it yourself. What you need to do is to edit the registry key "Scancode map" which can be located at..

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control\Keyboard Layout ...what you need to do is change the value to 00000000 00000000 02000000 00003A00 00000000 after that you should restart your computer and your caps-lock key should be disabled.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then. Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

FIXED FOR FREE: Caroline came along to out our Computer Clinic and got her laptop fixed for free! Caroline had a problem with her laptop in that she used to be able to connect wirelessly to the Internet at her home, however for the past few days she has not been able to connect and every time she starts her laptop the wireless icon shows as disconnected. After investigation we found that she had inadvertently turned off the wireless on her laptop. This is so easily done accidentally – most laptops have a button somewhere to enable or disable the wireless receiver, if you don’t know where you’re is then you should locate it now so that you know if the same thing were to happen to you in the future. Most laptops have a light to indicate whether the receiver is turned on or off – some have a display that appears on the laptop screen as in this case. The fix was simple, we just turned on the wireless receiver and everything was working again.

Don’t forget that we have a computer clinic every Wednesday at Print Solutions shop in La Marina (Calle Londres, near the Pasty Shack) from 4pm to 6pm, bring along your computer, you never know you might get it fixed for free! SOLVED: Bob was having problems with his Windows Updates.

Richard, since my laptop recently updated Windows 7, whenever I switch it on; a message appears to say “Updating windows 0% completed”. This stays on the screen for up to 10 minutes and then changes to “update failed” before allowing me to use the computer normally. What can I do?

Hi Bob, it sounds to me like your Windows Update folder has become corrupt, what you need to do is to clear it out, that will clear out the “bad” windows update that is causing this problem, to do that you should navigate to c:\windows\softwaredistribution and in that folder you will find another folder called “downloads”, just delete the contents of the downloads folder and then restart your computer, that should fix the problem with the boot up. It does still mean however that you have missing Windows updates, so you should also run windows update and manually install any updates that are missing. If you have trouble deleting the contents of the downloads folder then it could be that you will need to stop the Automatic Updates service before you delete the files and start it again afterwards, if this is the case then just give me a quick ring as its easy to talk through on the phone.

Read Richard’s fantastic computer page only in Jungle Drums Magazine.

OUT NOW office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

Friday, May 13, 2011

THAI TO DIE FOR!

Feeling adventurous? How about rustling up something authentic and tasty tonight with the Courier guide to Thai food – delicious!

Thai food street style THAI food is adored and savoured for the perfect aroma and taste of its various dishes and Thai food is a perfect blend of neighbouring regions like India and China, which seems to satisfy the Western palate. Similar to various types of Asian cuisine, Thai food mainly includes rice and noodles but Apart from rice, Thai cuisine also includes numerous savoury fish recipes, vegetables, herbs and spices that bring a salty, saucy and sour flavour to this irresistible Eastern delight. However, those health conscious people

among you (yes, there are!) are inquisitive about a basic question - "Is Thai food healthy?" Frankly speaking, health benefits of Thai food entirely depend on the kind of Thai recipes that you consume.

Important Thai Food Facts Harmony of taste is the basic principle of Thai food, which you can easily find in all the Thai recipes that you make or order and remember that Thai food recipes like Tom Yum soup, chilli hot chicken, fish cakes and Phad ka Prao are all made with a perfect balance of ingredients and flavour.

So before finding the answer to the question - "Is Thai food healthy?” we need to understand that Thai food doesn't contain big meat chunks or large dead animals. The meat that is included in the Thai food is fortified and shredded with various herbs and healthy vegetables and it’s this that makes Thai food all the more healthy and tempting. Secondly, authentic Thai food recipes are prepared with some of the healthiest cooking methods such as stewing, grilling and baking, that include least amount of oil and hence they preserve the food's nutrition to the fullest.

Other cooking methods like frying, deep frying and stir frying were introduced to them by foreign countries like China and Japan and, surprisingly, Thai food is also hugely influenced by Dutch, French and Portuguese cuisine and other nearby Asian regions like Vietnam, Burma, Malaysia and Laos but not, thank goodness, the USA… Aside from being one of the most popular soups in Thailand, Tom Yum Soup has many health benefits, due its potent combination of herbs and spices. In fact, this Thai soup is currently under scientific study, as it appears to have immune-boosting power as a natural remedy for cold and flu viruses.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Hot Chicken Chilli Ingredients

2 tablespoons Butter or Margarine 1 (20 ounces) package Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts, cut into 1/2-inch cubes 1 medium (1/2 cup) Onion, chopped 1 teaspoon ground Cumin 1 teaspoon Lemon Pepper 1 teaspoon Dried Oregano Leaves 1/2 teaspoon Garlic Salt 2 (14.5-ounce) cans Chicken Broth 2 (15-ounce) cans Pinto Beans with Jalapeños 2 (11-ounce) cans White Corn 1 to 2 teaspoons Chipotle Chilli’s in Adobo Sauce, chopped 2 Bay Leaves 2 tablespoons Fresh Lime Juice 2 tablespoons Sugar 1/4 cup chopped Fresh Cilantro

Garnish Ingredients:

TOM YUM SOUP

Finely chopped Red Pepper, if desired Fresh Lime Wedges, if desired

How to make it 1. Add butter to large saucepan. Heat over medium heat. 2. Sauté chicken pieces, onion, cumin, lemon pepper, oregano, and garlic salt until chicken is cooked through. 3. Stir in chicken broth, dried pinto beans, corn, chipotle chillies and bay leaves. 4. Continue cooking over medium 8 to 10 minutes. 5. Reduce heat to low, and simmer 30 minutes. 6. Remove from heat. Remove bay leaf. Stir in fresh lime juice, sugar, and cilantro. 7. Serve in individual bowls, and top with red pepper and fresh lime wedges.

CURRY UP!

Ingredients 4 pints of chicken broth, 2 stalks of lemongrass (sliced on a bias in 2 inches pieces), 4 kaffir lime leaves, 1 inch piece of fresh galangal or ginger (sliced), 2 red chillies (sliced), 2 tablespoons of fish sauce (e.g. nam pla), 1.5 teaspoons of sugar, 1 can of straw mushrooms (rinsed and cut into half), 1 pound of large size shrimps (peeled but keep

the tails), juice from 2 limes, 2 green onions (sliced), 1/2 cup of fresh cilantro (chopped).

The Making Firstly, prepare a saucepan, pour in stock and bring to boil over medium heat. Add in lemongrass, kaffir lime leaves, galangal and chillies. Reduce heat to medium low heat; simmer the soup for 15 minutes.

Add fish sauce, mushrooms, and sugar. Simmer for another 5 minutes. Add in shrimp and cook for another 8 minutes. Remove the heat and add lime juice, green onion, and cilantro. Taste for salt and spices, you should have an equal balance of spicy, sour and salty. Note that lemongrass and lime leaves are for flavour only and avoid from eating.

and get along to Rani's EXPERIENCE the taste of real India at the award winning Rani’s Indian Restaurant, a hidden treasure which is most certainly full of Eastern Promise.

Rani’s which means Queen in India and named after the owner, creates the right ambience for whatever the occasion as customers are treated like royalty. With the chefs each bringing their own wealth of experience, ideas and flavours, blended together, it’s the winning combination their aim to serve authentic home cooked Indian Cuisine. With the relaxed settings, friendly warm atmosphere and of course aroma of exotic spices and the finest Ingredients it’s little wonder Rani’s won the CoastRiders Culinary Award last year for Best Indian Restaurant . Established over 2 years, this ever popular restaurant hosts a first class menu of all traditional home style Indian specialties. Situated in Citrus Centro Commercial within Urb Horizonte, Playa Flamenca, a warm welcome awaits you. Along with the cosy Interior the restaurant features a large sun terrace, ideal for these long hot summer days, fantastic food and good company, that’s why customers keep coming back, Rani’s motto ‘ a night to remember’ is very appropriate, and highly recommended for all curry lovers. The menu home to all our favourite dishes whether it be Korma, Tandoori, Fish Punjabi or Chicken Jalfrezi also has an excellent choice of vegetarian dishes. From Naans, starters, rice to main dishes the menu is vast, with Chefs specials, there is something to tempt your palates, for the youngsters there is kids meals or why not order a take-away Indian Style Pizza any naan bread and a curry topping of your choice. If it’s not on the menu, the chefs will prepare all dishes to suit customer’s requirements. It’s not only the taste that is important the presentation also adds to this unique dining experience. With their early bird menu from 5.00 p.m. – 7.00 p.m.the 4 course meal at 7.95 euro’s is perfect for after work, there is also a 10 % discount on takeaway orders over 20 euro or if vino is your tipple, you can opt for a free bottle of wine. You can find them on facebook and as booking is advisable telephone 966 197 677 and let your taste buds sample the finest authentic Indian Cuisine. Open 7 days its award winning style makes Rani’s Indian Restaurant Bar and Take-Away a hit with regulars and visitors alike and why it’s such a success in the area.

Friday, May 13, 2011

ON YER BIKE

…and off to La Fuente, Centro Comercial A HOT, clear day. Me, my scooter and a ride out to La Fuente commercial centre adjacent to the picturesque Campoamor Golf and Los Ramblas Golf to have a look around. I’d not been down there for a couple of years and it’s changed a bit in that time; more new businesses filling the place, always a promising start. Firstly, if you’ve never been, La Fuente is not one of those commercial centres that look like they’ve been dropped from a crane, it’s been planned rather well and I found my way around easily. (I have been known to be ’lost’ I commercial centres before…). The first place I went into had a great name; Footsteps a very fashionable shop on first inspection and after a little

nosing around I discovered the family run business’s owners, Julia and Alan who told me that they have many years experience in the footwear and fashion trade and are dedicated to providing their customers with the very best of appealing items - and fortunately for us customers, they do it at the most affordable prices. I can’t list the vast stock here but suffice to say they stock a lot! Including, a large selection of Maxi Dresses from 10€ and Sandals and Flip Flops from 10€ too. They refresh the stock weekly and are open every day of the week, or if you can’t wait, take a peek at their website: www.footstep-spain.com It always good to find a business that obviously takes a pride in what it does and one look inside Tu Baño and you can see the quality of their work. They don’t only offer new bathrooms though as they have a wealth of experience in household maintenance, repairs and improvements. These are handy people to know, how many times have you called around trying to find a plumber or an electrician and wouldn’t it have been handy to have just one place to call for all that. Their experienced tradesmen offer central heating installations, replacement windows and much more. Has the old boiler packed up (there’s a joke there fellas) or are you considering solar heating, Tu Baño can advise, quote and assist with your options, and they are very friendly to deal with and best of all not pushy at all. Just what I like. Give them a call on 636 844 515 or pop in – and by the way, that number is worth keeping as they offer a 24 hour emergency call out service.

clients, Russian, German and Scandinavian, plus, of course, English and Spanish the staff at Magellan operate an international network and the multilingual staff offer properties for sale to a wide range of clients including abroad and in Spain. At the moment they told me that they urgently need well priced properties for waiting investors and the best bit is they will market your property without compromise so there are no costs if they do not achieve the sale of your property. At the moment they are featuring the popular Las Ramblas Centre and they are specialists in the Ramblas Golf Resort, see for yourselves at: www.magellan.es and www.lasramblas4u.co.uk. I’ve built up a thirst already so it’s over to what’s popularly known amongst golfers as the 19th hole - the famous Irish

Moving on and there’s another familiar name in front of me, Magellan Properties, I know these guys have been around for a while which in the current climate says a lot for an estate agent and they are, I discover, one of the longest established and trusted estate agents in the area. Inside it truly is an international office and all sorts of languages can be heard manning the phones and dealing with

Friday, May 13, 2011

soon they will have Spanish red & white wine supplied by a traditional Spanish bodega. Sold by the litre so bring your own container and fill up as much as you like - at unbelievable prices.

Bar Bernie D’Arcy’s. Handily, for golfers and the rest of us, it’s ideally situated here, close to Campo del Golf Campoamor and, its the perfect place to celebrate that Birdie (pretend, I did) with friends and family or worry about your handicap over a few Irish whiskeys. I settled for an Irish coffee which did its job perfectly but D’Arcy’s also claims to serve the best pint of Guinness on the Costa Blanca. That is obviously a claim that I will need to test, if not daily then at least weekly until I can confirm their claim – test them out yourselves! They’re open from 3pm till late you can be sure of a good old fashioned Irish welcome. Refreshed and off to explore once more, Viva la Vida has an inviting sign, ‘Come and try our fabulous new menu inspired by our new Chef Steve’ so I go in. I’m not actually hungry yet, but there’s something to be said about looking around a restaurant and then booking at a later date with that knowledge. There a busy lot here with breakfast, Lunch and three course evening meals served everyday, plus a Thursday Quiz night and a Sunday Cabaret/Karaoke with Steve Clarke.

If you’re looking for something different, from the dining to the décor, you must pay a visit to Crystals Restaurant.

stuffing and gravy make up the choices for just 6.95€ not bad eh? Open Monday to Friday 5pm till late with a Happy hour Monday to Friday from 5pm until 7pm they offer Live Sports on a big screen and can cater for parties. Ladies? Thursdays are for you with cocktails 2 for 1. Saturday and Sunday they open from 1pm till late. I do like a shop that sells just about everything. Not only are they handy, but for a nosey bloke like me, it’s fascinating what you can find. Inside Spar Mini Market they stock all the leading English brands at low prices, many of their prices are even lower than bigger English supermarkets plus they stock a good selection of frozen food and top quality frozen meat( handy for those summer Barbies? ). Somewhere I could smell some of the fresh hot pies that are cooked daily but lunch was going to have to wait as I checked out the other services on offer. Bike hire for one thing! Either daily or weekly, and at great rates with discount for weekly hire. Unconnected but just as important for some are the photocopying and fax facilities and if you need to get post off to family back in the UK they offer an Easypost mail service daily to the UK and beyond plus passport renewal service and mailboxes which are very reasonable at 49.99€ a year

Happy Hour is seven days a week 4pm till 7pm, and that’s three hours – but don’t tell them in case they’ve not noticed! Beers are well priced too with all Draughts at 2€ a pint and if you like your spirits a house spirit and mixer is just 2.50€. a large sunny terrace is pleasant for a meal and the friendly Staff and relaxed atmosphere makes Viva la Vida a certainty for a return from me, interestingly too every Tuesday they have a Tarot and Palm Reader from 7.30pm, so I guess they’ll know when I’m coming too, but I guess it’s always best to ring and book, just in case. Going Spanish now and again suits me, especially when the friends and relatives are over and wanting to go ‘authentic’ but with some chips. A visit to Fuego Tapas & Wine Bar Bistro will satisfy them trust me. Their fine selection of Tapas will have something for even the fussiest palette and is constantly refreshed to keep your mouth watering, sizzling Prawns and Al a carte specials offer even more of a tasty choice and if you fancy getting out and about in the evening why not start the weekend with the Bistro’s barbeque every Friday night from 7pm with live entertainment. For those with a homesick palette, no problem as they are famous for their home made Burgers and the ‘fabulous Sunday Lunch’ (that’s how one diner described it to me) has a choice of pork, beef or chicken, and four veg. mash, roast potatoes, home made yorkshires, bacon and sausage meat

Further investigation revealed that Spar offer brand new and unlocked mobile phones with the cheapest call rates on the market- i.e. calls to UK landlines from 5c per minute, and with the phones costing from 49.99€ and ready to use with 5euro free credit, I’m buying one! There’s not enough room on this page to mention everything they do but I cant go without letting you know that they do have a large choice of greetings cards for every occasion and every card is priced at only 1.50€. Stop press: they’ve told me to let readers know that coming

The superbly decorated interior is dominated by an impressive chandelier (I wouldn’t want to clean it…) but the aroma is pure home made and talking to Sarah Collins who runs the front of the house I find out that everything is made in house, from Breads to ice creams and desserts - with only fresh produce used, it smells superb and I’m getting seriously hungry as chef Greg Collings artfully prepares more dishes for the diners around me. Their tasty Menu del Noche changes every two weeks and is worth keeping your eye out for at just 12.50€ for three delicious courses. Sunday Lunch is affordable and good value at 10€ for a three course meal and if you like a little music while you dine every Tuesday and Friday you can enjoy your meal with Dan Davy vocalist and/or on a Saturday Adam Slater, the award winning vocalist. Weddings and any type of celebrations are catered for but, of course, as with those looking to book a table a reservation is a must if you don’t want to be disappointed. At the end of May a Moroccan Theme night including 5/6 courses with a different wine for every course should leave people smiling (or singing) and further details are coming soon. To find out more or book a table give them a call on 966 774 439 or 652216608 or you can check them out yourselves online at: www.crystalsrestaurant.com

Friday, May 13, 2011

Time to panic - it’s Friday the 13th! By Alan Gilchrist Costa Blanca's Top Hypnotherapist

Oh, and guess what, that’s called Photophobia! Over the years I have compiled a list of phobias and their names - and it may surprise you to know that it now extends to over 250 and is still growing. Two fears I have successfully treated but as yet have found no name for, is a phobia of hair remover and another of plastic spiders! Alan Gilchrist holds his Fast Track Hypnosis sessions in Cabo Roig, Guardamar and Benidorm. For an appointment, brochure or free initial consultation, contact Alan on 659 229 408 - or visit his website www.alangilchrist .com.

Friday 13th Facts • Famous people born on Friday the 13th include Samuel Beckett (13 April 1906), Margaret Thatcher (13 October 1923), Fidel Castro (13 August 1926) and Steve Buscemi (13 December 1957).

• Black Sabbath's eponymous debut album was released in the UK on Friday, February 13, 1970. • Tupac Shakur died on Friday, September 13, 1996.

• Every year has at least one and at most three Friday the13ths.

• The independent horror flick Friday the 13th was released in May 1980 and despite only having a budget of $550,000 it grossed $39.7 million at the box office in the United States.

• The longest period that can occur without a Friday the 13th is 14 months.

• Its sequel, Friday the 13th Part II, was released a year later in May 1981.

• The Uruguayan rugby team’s plane crashed in the Andes mountain range on Friday 13 October, 1972.

• The remake of the original Friday the 13th was scheduled for release on Friday, February 13, 2009.

Tupac Shakur It’s that time of year again that causes millions of people to live in terror for 24 hours. Another Friday 13th is upon us. Millions of people throughout the world live in terror of this particular day and virtually become a recluse in their own home with an irrational fear that something awful is about to befall them. Such superstitious beliefs are also quite prevalent in Greece and Spain where usually Tuesday the 13th is considered the unluckiest day. In 2009 there were THREE Friday the13ths for the poor phobic person to endure – February, March and November. Thankfully this doesn’t happen again until 2015 and 2026 but each year has at least one of them and 2011 falls into that category this month. But did you know that fear of the number 13 is called Triskaidekaphobia and fear of Friday the 13th is known as Paraskavedekatriaph obia? Paraskavedekatriaphobia derives from a word made up of a combination of the Norse and Greek root words for 'Friday' (Paraskeví), '13' (dekatreís) and 'fear' (phobia). Friday has long been considered unlucky for many

reasons such as in religion, with Jesus being crucified on a Friday, to the mythical. Frigga was a Scandinavian love goddess who was worshipped on the sixth day of the week. Christians called Frigga a witch and considered Friday to be the witches' day.

Queen Victoria Some academics suggest that the fear of the number 13 originated in a myth, whereby 12 gods were having a feast in Valhalla. It’s said that the naughty and crafty Loki disrupted the event and appeared as the 13th guest. This made Hod, (the blind god of darkness) throw a branch of mistletoe at Balder (the god of delight and cheerfulness). Balder was instantly killed and the Earth was forced into eter-

nal darkness and mourning. One famous person who supposedly had a fear of the number 13 was Queen Victoria. The story goes that she was invited to a dinner but refused to join the other guests because she would have been the 13th at the table - until someone pointed out that one of the guests was pregnant! Millions of people throughout the world have strange phobias and over the years I have helped some to overcome them using Fast Track Hypnosis, which normally takes four sessions. Using the calming effects of my method, the subconscious mind is allowed to see the phobia in a very funny way. The theory behind this is quite simple by laughing at your phobia you cannot be frightened of it, and if you are not frightened of it, it goes away. What started out as a personal interest about the various phobias that people can have, ended up with me compiling a list and putting in on my website. They range from fear of the mother in law, Penthraphobia, to the fear of long words, Hippopotomo nstrosesquippedaliophobia , which would in itself make the person have a phobia about a phobia!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Sing In the car and you’ll be safer! According to a recent British report, people who listen to music in the car have less accidents so we thought we’d give you a list of great driving music. 1. Golden Earring - Radar Love (1974) With that chugging beat and lyrics that begin "I've been driving all night, my hands wet on the wheel," "Radar Love" is the perfect song for crosscountry night driving with no objective other than being with the one you love ASAP. Surprisingly, this universally well-known classic did not even make the pop top 10 upon its initial release. 2. Stealers Wheel - Stuck In the Middle with You (1973) This parody of Bob Dylan's style by Scots Gerry Rafferty and Joe Egan locks into an outstanding rhythm for gentle 4wheel cruising. The song was produced by classic pop songwriters Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller. Who can help but join in with the instantly memorable chorus "Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am...stuck in the middle with you?" 3. The Cars - Let's Go (1979) "Let's Go," from the Cars second album Candy-O includes one of the most brilliant pauses in the history of pop music. Those few seconds between "She says" and "Let's go" make the entire song work. I must admit I still don't completely understand "She's so beautiful now, she doesn't wear her shoes." As one would expect from their name, the Cars made several great driving songs, but "Let's Go" is the best. 4. Derek and the Dominos - Layla (1972) "Layla" by Eric Clapton's alter ego band, Derek and the Dominos, is one of the top rock classics of all time. The extended instrumental fade out is a warm antidote for a long, lonely drive. Duane Allman's slide guitar solo will expose and soothe any brand of emotional disturbance. Lock it in for any lengthy solo drive.

5. John Mellencamp - Authority Song (1984) You might find yourself pounding the steering wheel along as the crack of the drums and guitar kick in. Irresistible melody, defiant singalong lyrics, and a big dose of attitude...in other words, great for driving! 6. Wall of Voodoo - Mexican Radio (1982) It's a bit of a left-field selection, but this classic is addictive from hearing it the first time. It's all about dialling in a Mexican station from dusty border territory. The next time you're headed along dusty highways from Texas to California, make sure this classic is on your playlist. 7. Billy Ocean - Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car (1988) It may be crass and commercial, but it's also great car music. Billy Ocean launched a song that has the perfect beat for slow top-down convertible cruising along the city strip. You'll be singing along in no time. 8. Beatles - Drive My Car (1966) "Drive My Car" kicks off the Beatles' Rubber Soul, one of the greatest pop albums of all time. It's easy to enjoy on a drive and sing along to the chorus, but when listened to closely, the lyrics are among the Beatles' most witty. "Beep beep, beep beep, yeah!" 9. Beach Boys - Little Deuce Coupe (1963) Cars were a key element of a number of the Beach Boys' early classics. "Little Deuce Coupe" is possibly the best. If there was ever a love song written to a car, this is it. Just substitute what you've got for the words "little deuce coupe," and your auto will be purring in loving response.

10. Eagles - Take It Easy (1972) For many, "I’m running down the road tryin’ to loosen my load, I’ve got seven women on my mind," were the first words they ever heard from the Eagles. The song continues on exploring the joys of cruising around being admired by members of the opposite gender. It was an 8track classic, now burn it to the nearest CD. What are your top driving songs? Let us know at office@thecourier.es

ARE YOU CAR-BERA STREISAND? Or JOHNNY CRASH?! ARE YOU A SINGER OR A WHINGER IN YOUR MOTOR? We went out on the streets and asked Courier readers – Do you sing in the car? Julie from La Zenia said: I’m one of those people......Your sitting at a red light, minding your own business, sipping your coffee when you look over and see them. That’s right, they're bobbin their head, singing into an air microphone, and all the while dancing. That’s me. I feel like when I’m in my car that's my time to jam. Turn the stereo up, pop in my favourite cd and start cranking it up. I love to sing in the car, it totally destresses me whether it is from work, kids or just life in general. I just get in my car crank up the music and sing and dance....safely, safely of course said Pam from La Marina Our sales team member, Myra had to admit: ‘I probably look like a nut or some mental patient talking to herself sometimes, I don't care cause I am enjoying myself.’ Vanessa in Gran Alacant confessed: I don't think I have a bad voice, but I find it funny when my daughter says ‘mum no more singing’ But now she's starting to sing in the car with me....I absolutely love that. Finally we found a man who would admit to singing in the car, Alan from Villamartin Confessed: ‘Yes. I'll admit it. I do sing in the car. Especially when I'm really bored and have nothing better to do. Sometimes under my breath, sometimes as loud as I can. Just to wake up the person driving!’ His friend Graham also confessed: ‘I usually listen to the CD and play OLD country songs. Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline...etc., I know the words to Most all of them. That's what I grew up listening to when I was a kid. I like to turn up the stereo and sing but my daughter will look at me like I am mad.

OUT ON THE 5th EVERY MONTH

Friday, May 13, 2011 WELCOME to another week of great entertainment here on the Costa Blanca, well not long now for all you fans of the hit T.V series Benidorm till the man himself, Mr Shaun Foster Conley arrives in La Zenia. He will be performing at the new concert suite – La Zenia 4* Hotel with a full supporting act on Saturday 11th June. Shaun, a 38 year old father of two originally from Sunderland, had been a resident singer in Benidorm for ten years before he got his big break on T.V. he got written into the show when the writer saw him performing out here and fell in love with his voice - particularly when he sang an Al Martino song that he does called ‘Here in my heart’. As well as striking up friendships with the cast he also became good friends with ex cast member Johnny Vegas who is now a big fan and says ‘Shaun has a fantastic voice, he will be very successful as he is a big talent with a big voice’ In the show Shaun belts out hits from Tom Jones, including Sex Bomb, and just like the Welsh singing legend he admits he too has had a few knickers thrown at him on stage while doing his cabaret act in Benidorm (I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that it was probably

Sticky Vicky in the audience!!!!) But when he was younger he wanted to be a footballer and his dream was to play for Sunderland. He managed to play for the schoolboy side but he didn’t make the grade to play professionally, so it was a good job that music was in his blood as his dad Peter was lead singer with sixties group The Apaches. As a child he grew up listening to Country & Western music and Elvis, then, after leaving school he went on to be an apprentice - serving his time in a shipyard in the Eighties - he would sing in the tanks because he liked the deep echo it gave his voice, but back in those days the only thing he got thrown at him was spanners from the welders telling him to shut up! Shaun still performs in Benidorm, which he says

is like a little England with all the Brits on holiday. That’s why the T.V show is such a hit; it captures it exactly. He loves the recognition that the show has given him, especially when people just stop him in the streets, but he says he hasn’t changed and will always be himself. His only great sadness is that his parents aren’t around to see his TV success; his mum passed away in 1999 and his dad two years ago after suffering from kidney failure while Shaun was filming Benidorm. So don’t hang around! These tickets will sell out at a price of only €12 or €15 for VIP! Pop into Easy Ads in La Zenia or go online at www.ticketplanner.es But whatever you are doing this weekend, have fun and don’t forget the May fair is still on until Sunday, and also Ben Mills from the X Factor is live in-concert tomorrow for ONE night only with support from Abba Elite and hosted by Nick Gold. Ring Night Out promotions on 966732215 or 672885418 to get your last minute tickets. Well that’s me finished for another week so if you’re a bar or an entertainer and want to appear in the gig guide, or you have any events coming up that you would like me to tell everyone about then please contact me by email on mandy@starsinbars.org or call me on 685302529 or just visit my website www.starsinbars.org

Mandy

DATE

VENUE

ACT/ EVENT

OTHER INFO

FRIDAY 13th

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca Bar Horacios in Las Mimosas Black Bull in El Chaperal Coopers Arms in Dona Pepa Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Mosquito’s Bar in La Florida The Black Bull in San Luis Los Belgas in Gran Alacant Cheers Bar in Eagles Nest Mariposa Hotel in Sierra de Espuna Rusty Nail in Campoverde

Cabaroke with Davy Jones The Faith Loose Change Lorna Michelle Maria O’Hara Cabaroke with Bono Loose Change Mr Bojangles Kye Jaymes Lenny Mitchell Terry Jay

Starting at 10pm

SATURDAY 14th

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca Bar Mary in Pinar de Campoverde La Batalla in Roldan Bushwacka in Cabo Roig Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Temptations in Cabo Roig Los Belgas in Gran Alacant Manga Norte Restaurant in La Manga The Club in Quesada Bull in Gran Alacant The Cavalier in San Luis Las Naciones in Quesada Judges Chambers in Playa Flamenca

Cabaroke with Davy Jones The Trio Lynden B’s Karaoke The Mono’s Mark Bailey as Michael Buble Flamenco Night Bob Marley tribute Lenny Mitchell Justin Sane & Alan Warden Kye Jaymes Just Bono U2 Tribute Lorna Michelle Terry Jay

Starting at 10pm Easy listening Latin & Jazz 10pm

SUNDAY 15th

Pablo’s International bar in La Florida Morgan’s Bar in Eagles Nest Snug Bar in Torre de la Horredada Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Bar Liquid in Cabo Roig Smiling Jacks in Cabo Roig Bar Catorce in Benijofar Casa Ventura in San Luis Waikiki in Las Siesta Smiling Jacks in Cabo Roig

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Celena Deans Lenny Mitchell Cabaroke with Matt Christian Cabaroke with Bono Terry Jay Lorna Michelle Fun Music Quiz with Lynden B Jon Summer Terry Jay

Starting at 8pm 4pm

MONDAY 16th TUESDAY 17th

WEDNESDAY 18th

THURSDAY 19th

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca Fire and Water The Judges Chambers in Playa Flamenca Liam Cullen Pirate Bar in Playa Flamenca Nick Barker Inn at the green in Entre Naranjos Cheers Bar in Eagles Nest Bar Rosa in Los Montesinos Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca The Stray Sod in La Fuente Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Morgan’s Bar in Eagles Nest Montes Bar in Los Montesinos Abbey Tavern in La Florida Restaurant La Boca in Playa Los Locos Cheers bar In Eagles Nest The Cavalier in San Luis Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjos Berny D’arcys in La Fuente Stray Sod in La Fuente Slievenamon in Cabo Roig The Priory in El Galan

Starting Starting Starting Starting

at at at at

1.30pm 5pm 4pm 10pm

Starting at 9.30pm

Kens Quiz Nikki G Quiz night with Darren James Cut loose Johnno O’Keefe

Starting at 9pm

Crazy Bingo with Spike Curtis Fun Music Quiz Celena Deans B.J Bluesman Quiz Night Woody Fun Music Quiz with Lynden B Cutloose Celena Deans Jim Kelly Lenny Mitchell

Starting at 4pm

Starting at 10pm

Starting at 9pm Starting at 10.30pm

Starting at 10pm Starting at 10.30pm

Friday, May 13, 2011

HOT GOSSIP

THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON!!

Look who´s back where he belongs, at last?! Lee Fox has returned to his spiritual home after nipping out for a packet of ciggies 2 years ago and never making it back! Foxy joined TKO FM back in 2006 when he presented the weekend breakfast show from the Towers. He then took over our Tuesday night sounds show “The Love Zone” which was a hugely popular show. Lee then moved to presenting the weekday early breakfast show, where he, again had a huge listenership and made the show his own. His cheeky, smooth style has always been a hit with our listeners and we are chuffed to have him back on TKO FM. Lee will be presenting the weekend breakfast show, sponsored by Night Out Promotions, between 9 – midday every Saturday and Sunday. He will be playing a mix of classic hits and current tunes, as well as running some great competitions and fun and games. You can get your requests in to him on 667 287 588. Go on lets get Foxy working!

TKO MEDIA GROUP TKO Media Group would like to apologise to all their loyal listeners for the disruption in the service, earlier this week. Normal service has now been resumed and TKO would like to say a big thank you to all their loyal listeners for bearing with them.

TKO Gold Featured Artist CLARE TEAL Clare Teal is one of the most successful Female British jazz singers in decades with a string of albums behind her, including the UK National Top 20 hit "Don't Talk".She has become famous not only for her singing, but also for having signed the biggest ever recording contract by a British jazz singer. Her 2004 critically acclaimed album Don't Talk reached number one in the UK Jazz Chart and number twenty in the mainstream UK Albums Chart. In 2005 she won the award of British jazz vocalist of the year, and in 2006 the award of BBC jazz vocalist of the year. As well as her success behind the microphone she is also a well respected radio presenter, having had her own Big Band Show on Radio 2 for some time and now has a second show on Sunday evenings. You may remember that we featured her latest single One More as our Future Gold Track and this song got a phenomenal response from not only our listeners but the Gold presenters too. Although Clare has been on the scene for a number of years it looks as if she may be about to break into the music mainstream very soon. Watch out for her and remember where you heard her first.

WIN A MEAL FOR TWO AND WINE AT QUESADA FISH & CHIPS Pop Quiz May 13 1 Who sang Puppet On A String? 2 This male singer had hits with If You Let Me Stay and Dance Little Sister. 3 Which Swedish singer recorded Save Tonight in 1997? 4 Who sang We´re Going To Ibiza? 5 Which legend of rock n roll died on 16th August 1977? 6 Who is probably the best known and original Phantom Of The Opera (1986)? 7 Which female singer sang Flashdance? 8 The Who sang about Pictures Of…? 9 Which “mod” band released Poison Ivy in 1980? 10 Which American vocalist was posthumously championed by Terry Wogan and had an album Songbird released after her death in 1996? 11 Which show does Sweet Transvestite come from? FIND THE KEY WORD AND TO TAKE PART LISTEN TO CHRIS ASHLEY’S SHOW ON TKO GOLD, 8AM TO 11AM EVERY MONDAY. CHRIS WILL ASK YOU TO TEXT OR EMAIL IN THE KEY WORD AND THE WINNER OF THIS WEEK’S ANSWER WILL BE ANNOUNCED.

Friday, May 13, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week's puzzle, 18 represents D and 25 represents M, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

In this week’s Quickie crossword, all the answers are ANAGRAMS of the clue words: Across 1 Spans (5) 4 Warts (5) 6 Tan (3) 7 Pills (5) 8 On cue (5) 10 Apt (3) 12 Aide (4) 14 Apes (4) 15 A riot (5) 16 Tern (4)

18 Late (4) 20 Cat (3) 22 Dingo (5) 23 Manor (5) 24 Are (3) 25 Sages (5) 26 Plead (5) Down 2 Aries (5) 3 Last (4) 4 Opts (4)

5 Anger (5) 7 Strider (7) 9 Nearest (7) 11 Tacit (5) 13 Tar (3) 14 Top (3) 17 Snail (5) 19 Media (5) 20 Sage (4) 21 Rapt (4)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Waits, 4 Seals, 7 Drama, 8 Error, 9 Difference, 11 Quarrelled, 15 Alive, 16 Scene, 17 Heels, 18 Rates. Down: 1 Wide, 2 Imaginative, 3 Staff, 4 Swear, 5 Arrangement, 6 Sorted, 10 Squash, 12 Reeds, 13 Loser, 14 Less.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Drinks very softly in Tom’s nightly haunts 5 Following competent legend (5) 8 Intended to be heard at the closing of Parliament (5) 9 Hooligan accepting old fine, be careful! (7) 10 Dispatched men in it, with some feeling (9) 12 Notes fade away (3) 13 I merge change of government (6) 14 Make case without England’s leader (6) 17/22 Fatigue from being let out in a fast car (3,3) 18 Retrospection from things hid (9) 20 Cecil is made from freezing water (7) 21 Papers from government department backing fuel (5) 23 Maintain former monarch’s car (5) 24 The enjoyment of French dawn (7)

Down 1 Born in the cats’ burial places (5) 2 A pulse may be visible in the speaker’s neck (3) 3 Light metal ignited him outside the university (7) 4 If I were present, a military man, but as it is, just a joiner (6) 5 Seaside feature is a cover for illegal activities (5) 6 A large kangaroo, a new Guinea weapon (9) 7 Something palatable came from the wedding of Catherine the Great, a blessed event (7) 11 Timing the assembly after dark (5-4) 13 Be glad about said lady (7) 15 Fluster characters becoming promotive of relaxation (7) 16 New sun due (6) 18 English composer possibly lost by the hospital (5) 19 Water creature seen in first routemarch (5) 22 See 17 Across

STANDARD CLUES

24 Enjoyment (7) Down 1 Crypts (5) 2 Legume (3) 3 Light metal (7) 4 Join metal (6) 5 Face (5) 6 Throwing stick (9) 7 Edible (7) 11 Hours of darkness (54) 13 Celebrate (7) 15 Soothing (7) 16 Brand new (6) 18 Famous composer (5) 19 Fish (5) 22 See 17 Across

Across 1 Imbibes (7) 5 Allegory (5) 8 Supposed (5) 9 Sentry (7) 10 Emotion (9) 12 Recede (3) 13 Government (6) 14 Make (6) 17/22 Travel weariness (3,3) 18 Perception after the fact (9) 20 Spears of frozen water (7) 21 Pieces of paper (5) 23 Wield (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Itch, 3 Lacrosse, 9 Prosper, 10 Flute, 11 Rodeo, 12 Uneven, 14 Across, 16 Endear, 19 Anchor, 21 Vests, 24 Bulge, 25 Tactile, 26 Disaster, 27 Wept. Down: 1 Imperial, 2 Cloud, 4 Airbus, 5 Rifle, 6 Shut-eye, 7 Eden, 8 Aprons, 13 Crescent, 15 Rankles, 17 Novice, 18 Writhe, 20 Heels, 22 Spire, 23 Abed.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words An At Do Is It Of On We 3 letter words Air Any Ask Asp Ate Gas Lad Old

Ply Sea Sum You 4 letter words Atom Bode Byte Cows Cyst Dune Glib Knee Laze Leek Moan Ooze Penn

Seat Siam Sofa Suet Tile Toga Toss 5 letter words Alley Keyed Speed Steep 7 letter words Earnest Epitome Eyesore Partial

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Spoons (8) 7 Humo (de fuego, cigarro) (5) 8 Aubergine (9) 9 Ojo (3) 10 Years (4) 11 Skirts (6) 13 Dessert (6) 14 Scarce (reserves, resources) (6) 17 Paths (6) 18 Peine (4) 20 Spanish high speed train (abb) (3) 22 In love (with a person) (9) 23 Tallos (de flores) (5) 24 Globos (de aire) (8)

Down 1 Goat (5) 2 Zanahorias (7) 3 Tía (4) 4 In addition (6) 5 Zorros (5) 6 Straight (direction) (7) 7 Serrín (7) 12 French (7) 13 Paradise (7) 15 Aguacate (7) 16 Plátano (6) 17 Siete (5) 19 Libros (5) 21 Herramienta (4)

Friday, May 13, 2011 Across 7 From the French for ‘on equal terms’, what name is given to a young foreigner who lives with a family in return for doing light housework? (2,4) 8 Which is the southernmost country of Central America? (6) 10 By what name is a solemn procession, especially for a funeral, normally known? (7) 11 Formed in London in 1989, which alternative rock band’s most prominent early line-up featured singer Brett Anderson, guitarist Bernard Butler, bass player Mat Osman and drummer Simon Gilbert? (5) 12 What can be either a ‘dance originating in the US in the 1930s and 1940s’ or ‘a coarse kind of cut tobacco’? (4) 13 Which rock group’s first British hit single was Seven Seas of Rhye? (5) 17 Which small Old World thrush related to the chats, typically has a brown back with red on the breast? (5) 18 What is the name of the central part of a church building, intended to accommodate most of the congregation? (4) 22 Which city is the capital of Morocco? (5) 23 In which 1988 film did Dustin Hoffman play Tom Cruise’s autistic brother Raymond? (4,3) 24 In which town in southwest-central Georgia was former US president Jimmy Carter born? (6)

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

25 By what other name is the chess piece the rook also known? (6) Down 1 What was the title of Émile Zola’s celebrated 1898 article on the Dreyfus affair? (7)

2 What name is given to the small pouch worn around the waist so as to hang in front of the kilt as part of men’s Scottish Highland dress? (7) 3 What is the name given to a female fox? (5) 4 Which plant with white flowers and aromatic leaves that are either crinkly or flat is used as a culinary herb and for garnishing food? (7) 5 What is the surname of the singing partner of Daryl Hall? (5) 6 Which French painter’s most famous works included Dejeuner sur l’herbe, Olympia and A Bar at theFolies-Bergeree? (5) 9 What word means ‘of, relating to, or consisting of money’? (9) 14 What is the surname of the English-born American author of a series of children’s classics about Dr Dolittle? (7) 15 Which large extinct hairy elephant of the Pleistocene epoch had a sloping back and long curved tusks? (7) 16 Which cartoonist illustrated Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass? (7) 19 What is the name given to an underground room or vault beneath a church, used as a chapel or burial place? (5) 20 What name was given to a German submarine used in the First or Second World War? (1-4) 21 Which Super League team are known as the Warriors? (5)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH Colores - Colours

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below) 1. AMARILLO, 2. AZUL,

o. black, p. dark, q. coffee

6.CELESTE, 7.CLARO,

22.VIOLETA

coloured, r. emerald green,

8.ESMERALDA, 9.GRIS,

a. blue, b. pink, c. yellow,

s. lilac, t. brown, u. purple,

10.LILA, 11.MARRON,

d. white, e. violet, f. green,

v. gold.

1. Rod Stiger 2. Harry Palmer 3. The Bush Kangaroo 4. Andrew 5. Tinker Bell 6. The Phantom 7. Michael Caine 8. Natalie Wood 9. Marianne Faithful 10. Disney's Snow White 11. David Jason 12. Chicken George 13. Australia, the film was the 'Story of the Kelly Gang.'

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Skiff, 4 Acacia, 9 Upstage, 10 Shaft, 11 Sony, 12 Treacle, 13 CIA, 14 Apia, 16 Tara, 18 See, 20 Sackbut, 21 Mayo, 24 Triad, 25 Elysium, 26 Elijah, 27 Eliot. Down: 1 Squash, 2 Ibsen, 3 Fiat, 5 Cassette, 6 Chaucer, 7 Antler, 8 Vesta, 13 Cambodia, 15 Puccini, 17 Tsetse, 18 Steer, 19 Bon mot, 22 Alibi, 23 Tyne.

14.NEGRO, 15.ORO,

g. beige, h. turquoise, i. sky blue, j. light, k. orange,

16.OSCURO, 17.PLATA,

CT I Z COUNB X A L OB Y E T S E L E CE Y DUNJ A W OS CUROI NL Z GOOP L GR A I X GI A A MY R R H I R K R T E U R O T L WR I Y L T B R WA E R U S J B A U S A E U WG M L V E A C V M X K X UP RS E I P DA S V E J HE GS E QOMA F I N E OR OH B U C L U R E V Z A WT J D N B S E I OE A MA R I L L OE S T C MT X S OR A L C Y U G A S C K F H E A WN D U A U R F GU C S P MB B J J A GI O C I E E R O S A V A V WS V G Soduko

Span - Eng

Answers: 1c, 2a, 3g, 4d, 5q, 6i, 7j, 8r, 9n, 10s, 11t, 12u, 13k, 14o, 15v, 16p, 17l, 18m, 19b, 20h, 21f, 22e.

1. Who played the role of the pawnbroker in the film 'Pawnbroker'? 2. Who did Michael Caine play in the "Ipcress File"? 3. Who or what was Skippy ( on TV )? 4. What was James Bond's father's name? 5. Marilyn Monroe was the model for which Disney Character? 6. Who steals the Pink Panther in the original film? 7. Maurice Micklewhite became famous as who? 8. Natasha Gurdin became famous as who? 9. Who played the girl on the motorcycle in a film of same name? 10. Margie Belcher provided the body movements for which character? 11. Who played the Fugitive? 12. Ben Veeren played what character in Arthur Hailey's Roots? 13. Which country made the world's first feature film in 1906?

l. silver, m. red, n. grey,

3. BEIGE, 4. BLANCO, 5.CAFE, 20.TURQUESA, 21.VERDE,

12.MORADA, 13.NARANJA,

movies/tv QUIZ

18.ROJO, 19.ROSA,

AMARILLO

MORADA

AZUL

NARANJA

BEIGE

NEGRO

BLANCO

ORO

CAFE

OSCURO

CELESTE

PLATA

CLARO

ROJO

ESMERALDA

ROSA

GRIS

TURQUESA

LILA

VERDE

MARRON

VIOLETA

Quizword

Fill It In

Friday, May 13, 2011

Horoscopes I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE Dear Tia Maria I have just finished a relationship with my boyfriend who I have been seeing for 4 years. Over the last couple of years we have been living together.

We did split up about 18 months ago and got back together after I had managed to get my own place. Life with me is complicated and I am very jealous, I hate it if we are out and another girl talks to him and I think this is what has finally pushed him away. I just feel so alone and that I

can’t move on. When he was with me he was not very nice but I would always think well it’s better than being alone, now I believe that more than ever. What am I going to do as I feel that now my life is not worth living! Sophie x Hi Sophie This sounds like it has been a difficult relationship for a while; you say that you feel your life is not worth living, I am sorry about this as your life was not so great when your man was in it. You need to give your new life a chance at what it could be like without the negativity of a partner who is not particularly nice. You say you have been jealous in this relationship that puts a lot of pressure on you when you go out, try going out now as a single woman and see what a good time you could have. I think maybe you should get some relationship help as you need to learn how to control your jealousy as this could ruin new relationships to come, this could be a very positive thing as you could discover how not to be in an abusive relationship and how a relationship should be fun and exciting. Good luck Tia Maria

ADDICTED TO THE ‘NET

By Pandora Aries March 21 - April 19 Damage caused by rage might cost you around €250 this weekend. Avoid posh bars. The best of excuses are those that are plausible (so, not ones that involve you, super-powers and hordes of sexy friends).

Dear Tia Maria I have a serious problem that is ruining my life, I keep writing every single move I make on Facebook. I comment on everything, even when my boyfriend and I argue, I even ask him what he wants for tea on it if we are not in the same room! My friends never ring and ask me what I am doing as they say they don’t need to and they don’t want to go out with me as I am always updating my status as to, where I am, who I am with and what we are doing! Sometimes I get drunk when I go out and update my status without even remembering!!! How can I stop this! Alexis Hi Alexis These things always start off as a bit of fun, but they can take over before you notice it. You have to think what is more important your friendships or your Facebook status? When something starts to affect your relationships it has then become a problem. You need to think about how you can stop this behaviour. First thing that would maybe a good idea maybe is to take off the face book application on your phone; this is cutting down an access. Ask for support from your friends and partner. Admit you need support and see how they think they could help. You may also need to have so addiction therapy if you feel that this Facebooking is way out of hand. There are many support systems out there you just need to access them. I would be more than happy to recommend some to you. Take care for now, Tia Maria

Taurus April 20 - May 20 With all you've been through you should be glad that this week will actually come to a close. Banking on anyone this week? Don't let them let you down like they did me. I'm still picking up the pieces of a tattered life.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 You may be better off taking charge of your own laundry today for reasons that the stars do not make clear. Many of your hang-ups would disappear if you started wearing clothes that more suited you.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Placing your mouth around the exhaust of a car stuck in traffic is bound to cause more traffic problems. Please take into consideration the needs of others.

Leo July 23 - August 22 You will find you get better sex advice if you stop talking to what you call "little people" in your nearby park. You're doing really well, keep it up!

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Your footsteps will seem louder today as you break in new shoes. However, this will not be a metaphorical sign of anything greater. Heavy drinking can lead to a certain number of social problems.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Your mind is filled with thoughts of sexual inadequacy and hey, maybe you're right. Night terrors will plague you throughout this month and you may feel that people, both living and dead, are out to get you.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 Test yourself, know your limits! Your ability to perform open heart surgery may be brought into question today as you attempt to help an asthmatic in the local park that’s having breathing difficulties.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 Everything you have been taught will be forgotten in a crazy moment of rash behaviour. All the things you're unsure of will almost certainly remain enigmatic by the end of the day.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 This month provides you with the greatest chance of making it. So pray to the planets that they stay in alignment or these horoscopes will not be fulfilled.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Your friends won't forgive you if you don't take the opportunity you are presented with. The very thought of coming up with a horoscope for you made me laugh.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Pickles are a source of joy for you this week. Your brain is overflowing with ideas, some of which are truly brilliant and you must focus on making your dreams a reality. Ten weeks of doing what you do best, and you're still no closer to achieving your goal.

Friday, May 13, 2011

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON THE TELLY..? The Graham Norton Show

BBC 1 May 13th 11:35pm to 00:20am Unique talk show with award-winning host, Graham Norton. Expect the unexpected as top celebrity guests join in the fun with Graham and his irrepressible audience. Graham is joined by Lady Gaga as she performs two numbers - Judas and Born This Way - and showcases some spectacular costumes. Plus comedian Jason Byrne and Oscar-winning actor Geoffrey Rush star of The King's Speech and new film Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (Film, 2003)

BBC 1 Sunday, May 15th, 9:00pm to 11:10pm Eccentric Captain Sparrow is on a mission to rescue the Governorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beautiful daughter, Elizabeth, and his ship, the Black Pearl, both of which have been captured by curse-ridden pirate, Captain Barbossa. They brave the deadly seas and head towards the mysterious Isla de Muerta in an attempt to stop the skeleton pirates from spilling Elizabeth's blood to lift the curse that keeps them in limbo.

The Untold Battle of Britain Channel 4 Saturday, May 14th, 9:00pm to 10:00pm This dramatised documentary recounts how, during the most decisive phase of the Battle of Britain, a single squadron of 34 Polish fighter pilots wreaked havoc on the Luftwaffe, overturning RAF prejudices and helping to change the course of history. Based on a diary kept by the pilots of the squadron, it is a story of increasing frustration on the part of the Poles who had already fought the Luftwaffe and now found themselves having to learn English and the RAF way of doing things. By the time the Battle of Britain was won, they had claimed 126 enemy planes. But as the war ended, their joy turned to despair as they saw their own country handed to Stalin.

Strangeways (Documentary, 2011)

ITV1 Monday, May 16th, 10:00pm to 11:00pm Documentary series following inmates and staff at Manchester's Strangeways prison. This episode focuses on the healthcare unit at Strangeways, and it is the first time that such access has been given to what is one of the most challenging and sensitive areas in the prison. The most disruptive prisoner, David Charlton, is often a resident here as he cannot function in the normal wings. Charlton is abusive to staff and frequently soils his cell, but despite all this, he regards Strangeways as his home and commits offences to get back into prison. Staff must also deal with a violent inmate who has been brought in after clubbing a prison officer over the head.

Friday 13th May 00:35 This Week 01:25 The Death of Bin Laden Panorama 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Antiques Roadshow 03:55 Neighbourhood Watched 04:40 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Hard Talk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Missing 2011 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Copycats 16:40 Wingin' It 17:00 Remote Control Star 17:30 All Over the Place 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 The Comedy Genius of John Sullivan 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Outnumbered 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Graham Norton Show BBC2 00:20 Business Nightmares with Evan Davis 01:20 Children's Craniofacial Surgery 02:20 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Charles Gibson 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 04:40 Close

07:00 07:10 07:15 07:30 07:45 08:00 08:25 08:30 08:40 08:50 09:00 09:30 09:55 10:05 10:15 10:30 10:40 10:45 11:05 11:20 11:45 12:05 12:35 13:00 13:30 14:00 14:45 15:15 16:00 16:30 Mouth 17:30 18:15 19:00 19:30 20:00 21:00 21:30 23:00 23:30

Wibbly Pig Penelope Toddworld Tinga Tinga Tales Charlie and Lola Natural Born Hunters Newsround Trust Me I'm a Genie League of Super Evil Frankenstein's Cat Wait for It! LazyTown Bob the Builder The Koala Brothers Guess with Jess Big & Small Buzz and Tell Big Cook Little Cook Timmy Time Nuzzle and Scratch Waybuloo In the Night Garden The Pink Panther Show Daily Politics GMT with George Alagiah Diagnosis Murder To Buy or Not to Buy Real Rescues Flog It! Put Your Money Where Your Is Pointless Show Me the Monet Eggheads Great British Menu Windfarm Wars Gardeners' World An Education Later with Jools Holland Newsnight

00:35 The Last Word 01:05 Grimefighters 01:30 The Zone 03:35 Human Rights and Wrongs: Tonight 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 Jeremy Kyle: Morning Surgery 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain's Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Baboons with Bill Bailey 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Paul O'Grady Live 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Cube

THE COMEDY GENIUS OF JOHN SULLIVAN A tribute to the TV comedy writer, who died last month, leaving behind such favourites as Only Fools and Horses, Just Good Friends, Citizen Smith, Roger Roger and Dear John.

00:45 The Big Bang Theory 01:15 The JD Set: Manchester 01:30 Album Chart Show Introduces - Jamie Woon 01:45 4Play: Oh Land 02:00 The Model Agency 02:55 Supersize vs Superskinny Kids 03:50 A Year Inside Number 10 04:45 Hill Street Blues 05:35 Great British Brands 05:50 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 09:55 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Make Do & Mend 13:35 Jamie at Home 14:05 Channel 4 Racing 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:25 Unreported World 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 A Place in the Sun 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:25 That Peter Kay Thing 23:55 PhoneShop

00:05 Banged Up Abroad 01:05 SuperCasino 05:05 Meals in Moments 05:15 How Not to Decorate 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 13:05 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:10 Perfect Romance 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Fifth Gear 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Law & Order 23:55 The Walking Dead

Saturday 14th May 00:20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:30 The One Show 01:30 The Best Man 03:05 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 04:05 The Boat That Guy Built 04:35 Great British Railway Journeys 05:05 BBC News 05:30 Five Minutes With 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Great British Menu 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Olympic Dreams 14:30 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 15:15 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds 16:00 Father of the Bride 17:40 Don't Scare the Hare 18:15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:30 So You Think You Can Dance Live 19:30 Doctor Who 20:20 So You Think You Can Dance 20:50 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 21:00 Eurovision Song Contest 2011

07:10 Penelope 07:15 Toddworld 07:25 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:40 Octonauts: Creature Reports 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 One Minute Wonders 08:25 Arthur 08:50 Shaun the Sheep 09:00 Fee Fi Fo Yum 09:30 Prank Patrol Down Under 09:55 Sam & Mark's Guide to Dodging Disaster 10:00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 10:30 Serious Explorers: Livingstone 11:00 Relic: Guardians of the Museum 11:30 League of Super Evil 11:40 Wolverine and the X-Men 12:00 Mortified 12:25 OOglies 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 The Spanish Main 14:35 Battle Cry 17:00 Two Greedy Italians 18:00 Flog It! 18:45 Dad's Army 19:15 The Comedy Genius of John Sullivan 19:45 Citizen Smith 20:15 The Two Ronnies 21:00 Domesday 22:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:45 Blood Diamond

00:35 Take Me Out 01:30 The Zone 03:35 In Plain Sight 04:20 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 House Gift 10:25 Coronation Street 12:45 This Morning: Saturday 13:45 ITV News and Weather 13:59 Meridian Weather 14:00 Live FA Cup Final 18:30 Meridian News and Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 New Animals Do the Funniest Things 20:00 Sing If You Can 21:00 Britain's Got Talent 22:00 Piers Morgan's Life Stories: John Prescott 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 FA Cup Final Highlights

DOMESDAY

BBC2 00:00 00:50 01:55 03:25 03:30 04:00 04:30 04:45 05:00 05:05 07:00

The Review Show Later with Jools Holland Sugarhouse BBC News The Weather Show BBC News Click Newswatch BBC News Close Wibbly Pig

Historian Stephen Baxter explores his own theory that the Domesday Book was commissioned to confer revolutionary powers on the monarchy in the 11th century, and not intended as a means to collect taxes. He examines how the first great national survey, which recorded who owned every piece of land and property in England, was a massive logistical exercise that documented the traumatic impact of the Norman Conquest.

00:30 The Ricky Gervais Show 01:00 Mercury Prize Sessions 01:20 Album Chart Show 01:35 My Name Is Earl 02:30 Supersize vs Superskinny Kids 03:25 Enough 03:30 Whatever Turns You On 03:35 Night Walking 03:40 Laid Off 03:55 Ugly Betty 04:40 Hill Street Blues 05:30 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:00 Countdown 06:45 Yo Gabba Gabba! 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 That Paralympic Show 08:00 FIM Superbike World Championship 08:25 British Formula Ford Championship 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Friends 10:25 Koko Pop 11:00 The Saturdays 11:20 Glee 12:45 Friends 13:20 The Saturdays: What Goes on Tour 13:40 The Big Bang Theory 14:15 That Paralympic Show 14:50 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Come Dine with Me Down Under 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 The Restoration Man 21:00 The Untold Battle of Britain 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:20 Stand Up for the Week

00:55 Cops in Crisis 01:15 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Fifth Gear 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 The Beeps 08:05 Chiro 08:15 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:25 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 Hana's Helpline 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Gerald McBoing Boing 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:20 The Gadget Show 12:20 The Green Berets 15:05 Mystery Woman: In the Shadows 16:50 Murder 101: College Can Be Murder 18:30 Major Dundee 20:55 5 News Weekend 21:00 NCIS 22:00 CSI: NY 23:00 CSI: Miami

Sunday 15th May BBC2 00:15 National Lottery Update 00:35 Match of the Day 01:35 Black Sheep 03:00 BBC News 03:30 HARDtalk 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Record Europe 07:00 Breakfast 08:55 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 The Politics Show 14:00 EastEnders 15:55 Bargain Hunt 16:20 Escape to the Country 17:20 Life of Riley 17:50 Lifeline 18:00 Points of View 18:15 Songs of Praise 18:50 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:10 Land Girls 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl 23:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:35 Meet the Multiples

01:00 Later with Jools Holland 02:05 The Hotel New Hampshire 03:50 Close 07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Penelope 07:15 Toddworld 07:25 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:40 Octonauts: Creature Reports 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Space Hoppers 08:25 Arthur 08:50 Shaun the Sheep 09:00 Fee Fi Fo Yum 09:30 Gimme a Break 10:00 Friday Download 11:00 Live Athletics 13:00 World Olympic Dreams 13:30 Live MotoGP 15:00 Live Swimming 16:30 Live Athletics 18:05 McLintock! 20:10 Richard Hammond's Engineering Connections 21:00 Britain's Secret Seas 22:00 Operation Crossbow 23:00 Match of the Day 2

00:15 The Enforcer 02:15 The Zone 04:15 Swingtown 05:05 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 09:25 May the Best House Win 10:25 Dickinson's Real Deal 11:25 Sing If You Can 12:30 This Morning: Sunday 13:30 Dinner Date 14:25 ITV News and Weather 14:39 Meridian Weather 14:40 Columbo: Dead Weight 16:10 Britain's Got Talent 17:10 The Spy Who Loved Me 19:30 Meridian News and Weather 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 The Cube 21:00 Vera 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 Perspectives: Hugh Laurie Down by the River

OPERATION CROSSBOW Documentary providing an insight into a little-known story of Spitfire pilots and Allied technicians whose work helped to thwart the Nazis during the Second World War. The programme reveals how stereoscopic 3D photographs were used to help interpreters map every contour of the enemy's territory.

00:10 Epic Movie 01:50 Supersize vs Superskinny Kids 02:45 The Dead Zone 03:25 The Astronomer's Sun 03:35 Tomorrow 03:40 The Cooler 05:20 Wild Thing I Love You 06:15 Countdown 07:00 Sali Mali 07:05 The Hoobs 07:30 The Grid 08:00 Freesports on 4 08:25 The Saturdays: What Goes on Tour 08:45 Hollyoaks 11:15 The Saturdays: What Goes on Tour 11:35 Being N-Dubz in America and Beyond 12:10 The Saturdays: What Goes on Tour 12:30 Glee 13:50 The Simpsons 14:55 Celebrity Coach Trip 17:30 Deal or No Deal: Banker's Birthday 18:30 Time Team 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Come Dine with Me 21:00 The Hotel 22:00 Die Hard 4.0

00:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:00 SuperCasino 05:00 Rough Guide to Beaches 05:10 Nick's Quest 05:35 HouseBusters 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 The Beeps 08:00 Mio Mao 08:10 Chiro 08:15 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:25 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 08:30 Noddy in Toyland 08:45 Hana's Helpline 08:55 Milkshake! Music Box 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Gerald McBoing Boing 11:00 Family Food Fight 11:30 OK! TV Sunday 12:30 The Hotel Inspector 13:30 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green - At the Ends of the Earth 14:30 Ice Road Truckers 15:35 Gunsmoke 17:10 5 News Weekend 17:20 Are We Done Yet? 19:05 Zathura: a Space Adventure 21:10 Practical Magic 23:00 The Walking Dead

Monday 16th May 00:35 The Night Listener 01:55 The Apprentice 02:55 MasterChef 03:55 Holby City 04:55 Churches: How to Read Them 05:25 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Copycats 16:35 Sam & Mark's Guide to Dodging Disaster 16:40 Wingin' It 17:00 Sadie J 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Saints and Scroungers 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Track My Trash: Panorama 22:00 The Street That Cut Everything 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The Street That Cut Everything BBC2 00:20 01:20 02:55 03:00 03:30 04:00 04:30 05:00 05:30 07:00

The Shadow Line On a Clear Day Reporters BBC News Dateline London BBC News The Record Europe The Super League Show Close Wibbly Pig

07:10 Penelope 07:15 Toddworld 07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:40 Octonauts: Creature Reports 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Natural Born Hunters 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 League of Super Evil 08:50 Frankenstein's Cat 09:00 Wait for It! 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder: 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:20 Guess with Jess 10:35 Big & Small 10:45 Buzz and Tell 10:50 Big Cook Little Cook 11:10 Timmy Time 11:20 Nuzzle and Scratch 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Animal 24:7 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Show Me the Monet 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 The Story of Ireland 21:00 Business Nightmares with Evan Davis 22:00 Children's Craniofacial Surgery 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight

00:15 Surgery School 01:15 Premiership Rugby Union 01:55 The Zone 03:00 Motorsport UK 03:55 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain's Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Dales 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Strangeways 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 A Perfect Murder

THE STORY OF IRELAND New series. Fergal Keane explores Ireland's cultural, economic and social history, documenting its role on the international stage. He begins by revisiting the origins of the Celtic people, detailing the impact of Christianity and monasticism, the emergence of early literature, and the formation of law tracts that provide an insight into the day-to-day life of people nearly 1,500 years ago.

00:30 The Business 02:15 The Dead Zone 03:00 Civilization: Is the West History? 03:55 Hill Street Blues 04:45 Wild Thing I Love You 05:45 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:10 Countdown 06:55 Sali Mali 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 09:55 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Jamie at Home 13:35 River Cottage Bites 13:40 Distant Drums 15:40 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Dispatches: The Truth About Going Under the Knife 22:00 Gordon's Great Escape 23:00 The Sixth Sense

00:05 House on Haunted Hill 01:50 SuperCasino 05:00 Rough Guide to Cities 05:10 Divine Designs 06:00 Hana's Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Warship 13:05 The Family Recipe 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:10 Returning Lily 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 How Do They Do It? 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 The Hotel Inspector 23:00 There's Something About Josie

Tuesday 17th May 00:05 The Graham Norton Show 00:50 Churchill: the Hollywood Years 02:15 The Apprentice 03:15 Arena: Produced by George Martin 04:45 MasterChef 05:45 HARDtalk 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Copycats 16:35 Sam & Mark's Guide to Dodging Disaster 16:40 Wingin' It 17:00 Sadie J 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Crimewatch 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Crimewatch Update 23:45 See You in Court BBC2 00:20 Richard Hammond's Engineering Connections 01:10 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Reporters 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:05 Close

07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Penelope 07:15 Toddworld 07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:40 Octonauts: Creature Reports 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Natural Born Hunters 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 League of Super Evil 08:50 Frankenstein's Cat 09:05 Wait for It! 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder 10:10 The Koala Brothers 10:20 Guess with Jess 10:30 Big & Small 10:45 Buzz and Tell 10:50 Big Cook Little Cook 11:10 Timmy Time 11:20 Nuzzle and Scratch 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 13:00 The Queen in Ireland: BBC News Special 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Animal 24:7 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Show Me the Monet 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Britain's Secret Seas 21:00 Britain's Next Big Thing 22:00 The Country House Revealed 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight

01:35 The Zone 03:35 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:05 ITV Nightscreen 05:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain's Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Military Driving School 21:00 Countrywise 22:00 Home Is Where the Heart Is 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Pelican Brief

RIVER COTTAGE EVERY DAY Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall takes his passion for cooking into people's homes in a mission to bring real, simple and tasty food to the everyday table. He begins with ways to enjoy organic free-range meat on a tight budget and visits a butcher to champion the cheapest cut in the shop - ox liver.

01:05 The Event 02:05 Poker 03:00 The Dead Zone 03:45 The Moonbird 04:00 Empire: How Britain Made the Modern World 05:00 Saxon Gold: Finding the Hoard 05:55 Wogan's Perfect Recall 06:20 Hill Street Blues 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 09:55 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 10:55 Relocation: Phil Down Under 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 River Cottage Every Day 14:05 Water Stories 14:10 Very Important Person 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 The Secret Millionaire 23:00 Jamie's Food Revolution Hits Hollywood

00:00 Evil Woman 01:55 Rough Guide To 02:10 SuperCasino 05:05 Meals in Moments 05:15 How Not to Decorate 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Little Lodgers 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Warship 13:05 The Family Recipe 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:15 Always and Forever 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Highland Emergency 21:00 Supersize Grime 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: Miami 23:55 CSI: NY

Wednesday 18th May 00:15 The Lock Up 00:45 The Football League Show 01:50 The Prison Restaurant 02:40 The Hairy Bikers 03:40 Churches: How to Read Them 04:10 One Man and His Campervan 04:40 Great British Railway Journeys 05:10 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather 16:05 Copycats 16:35 Sam & Mark's Guide to Dodging Disaster 16:40 Wingin' It 17:00 Dani's House 17:30 Little Howard's Big Question 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Waterloo Road 21:30 Life of Riley 22:00 The Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Not Going Out BBC2 00:20 01:20 01:30 02:00 02:30 03:00 03:30 04:00 04:30 07:00

Operation Crossbow BBC News HARDtalk BBC News ABC World News BBC News The Record BBC News Close Wibbly Pig

07:10 Penelope 07:15 Toddworld 07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:40 Octonauts: Creature Reports 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Natural Born Hunters 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 League of Super Evil 08:50 Frankenstein's Cat 09:00 Wait for It! 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Guess with Jess 10:30 Big & Small 10:45 Buzz and Tell 10:50 Big Cook Little Cook 11:10 Timmy Time 11:20 Nuzzle and Scratch 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Lifeline 14:40 Coast 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Animal 24:7 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Show Me the Monet 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Escape to the Country 21:00 Two Greedy Italians 22:00 Wonderland - A Hasidic Guide to Love, Marriage and Finding a Bride 23:00 The Apprentice: You're Fired! 23:30 Newsnight

02:10 The Zone 04:10 Crossing Jordan 05:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain's Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Poms in Paradise 21:00 The British Soap Awards 2011 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Cops with Cameras

THE BRITISH SOAP AWARDS 2011 The stars of Coronation Street, EastEnders, Emmerdale, Hollyoaks and Doctors gather on the red carpet as Phillip Schofield hosts the 13th annual ceremony honouring TV's most popular soaps.

00:05 Misfits 01:10 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 02:10 Freesports on 4 02:40 The Grid 03:05 British Formula Ford Championship 03:35 KOTV Boxing Weekly 04:00 AVP Beach Volleyball 04:55 Catching the Impossible 05:45 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind: Body Building 05:50 Full Metal Challenge 06:45 Yo Gabba Gabba! 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 09:55 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 10:55 Location, Location, Location 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 River Cottage Every Day 14:10 Proud Parents 14:20 Dark Command 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Vacation, Vacation, Vacation 21:30 Superscrimpers: Waste Not Want Not 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 Desperate Housewives

00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:50 SuperCasino 05:05 Meals in Moments 05:15 How Not to Decorate 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 08:55 Mio Mao 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Little Lodgers 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Warship 13:05 The Family Recipe 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Meals in Moments 16:15 McBride: The Chameleon Murder 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:15 Live UEFA Europa League Football 23:00 Hollow Man

Thursday 19th May 00:15 Prime 02:00 See Hear 02:30 Watchdog 03:30 Country Tracks 04:25 One Man and His Campervan 04:55 Click 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Panorama 06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Fake Britain 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don't Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Copycats 16:35 Sam & Mark's Guide to Dodging Disaster 16:40 Wingin' It 17:00 Project Parent 17:30 My Life 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Watchdog 22:00 Inside the Human Body 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time BBC2 00:20 Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle 00:50 Citizen Ruth 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Click 04:55 Close 07:00 Wibbly Pig 07:10 Penelope

07:15 Toddworld 07:30 Tinga Tinga Tales 07:40 Octonauts: Creature Reports 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Natural Born Hunters 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Trust Me I'm a Genie 08:40 League of Super Evil 08:50 Frankenstein's Cat 09:00 Wait for It! 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:20 Guess with Jess 10:35 Big & Small 10:45 Buzz and Tell 10:50 Big Cook Little Cook 11:10 Timmy Time 11:20 Nuzzle and Scratch 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Coast 14:05 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:15 Animal 24:7 16:00 Helicopter Heroes 16:45 Flog It! 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Show Me the Monet 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 The Culture Show 21:00 Business Nightmares with Evan Davis 22:00 The Shadow Line 23:00 Psychoville 2 23:30 Newsnight

00:35 Long Lost Family 01:30 The Zone 03:35 Hello, Dolly! 06:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 Dickinson's Real Deal 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain's Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 The True Cost of a Car: Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Piers Morgan's Life Stories: John Prescott

THE CULTURE SHOW New series. Andrew Graham-Dixon presents from London's South Bank at the Festival of Britain's 60th anniversary celebrations. Nancy Durrant talks to Tracey Emin about her retrospective at the Hayward Gallery, while Tom Dyckhoff explores the militarisation of urban architecture. Mark Kermode plays LA Noire, a new video game inspired by film noir.

00:05 The Big Bang Theory 00:35 Being N-Dubz in America and Beyond 01:05 Mercury Prize Sessions 01:20 4Play: Phoenix Foundation 01:40 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 01:50 Against the Ropes 03:45 The Dead Zone 04:30 Barbarians 05:25 Hill Street Blues 06:10 Countdown 06:55 Sali Mali 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 09:55 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 10:55 Location, Location, Location 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 River Cottage Every Day 14:00 3 Minute Wonder: Good to Know 14:05 The Sheriff of Fractured Jaw 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Three in a Bed 22:00 Hunting Britain's Most Wanted 23:00 Comedy Gala: Best Bits

01:15 Poker: Aussie Millions 02:10 SuperCasino 05:05 Meals in Moments 05:15 How Not to Decorate 05:55 Rough Guide to Beaches 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie's Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Little Lodgers 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Warship 13:05 The Family Recipe 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:10 Secrets of an Undercover Wife 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Rough Guide to Mediterranean Islands 21:00 Emergency Bikers 22:00 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green - At the Ends of the Earth 23:00 Impossible?

Friday, May 13, 2011

SPORT ON THE BOX All the top sport on TV in your Good News paper SATURDAY The FA Cup Final ITV1 2:00pm to 6:30pm Manchester City v Stoke City. Adrian Chiles introduces coverage of the FA Cup final between Manchester City and Stoke City, live from Wembley. Cash-rich Manchester City are firm favourites, but their long-suffering supporters will take nothing for granted as the club goes in search of its first major trophy since 1976. Manager Roberto Mancini has been given the task of making City a major force in the game and an FA Cup triumph would be the perfect launch pad. Stoke City, under the guidance of boss Tony Pulis, are playing in the final for the first time in the club's history. The long throws of midfielder Rory Delap are sure to be a feature of the day as Stoke look to repeat the form that saw them thrash Bolton 5-0 in the semi-final. Commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and Jim Beglin.

Tuesday 17th May 20:45 England v Sweden Women's Friendly Internationals ESPN (20:30-23:00)

Wednesday 18th May 20:45 UEFA Europa League - Final

Football League Play-Off Sky Sports 18:30pm to 11:00pm Football League 1 Play-Off Semi-Final 2nd Leg. An npower League One play-off semi-final second leg.

WHEN A POINT IS WORTH SO MUCH

LONG BALLS by Malcolm Palmer A POINT. That’s all that separates Manchester United from mathematical certainty of the title they’ve threatened to win for some time, but Chelsea were incapable of impeding their march towards it, even though Frank Lampard’s scrambled secondhalf goal gave them hope – the writing was on the wall after only 36 seconds, when the young Mexican star Hernandez stroked coolly home. At the bottom, still nothing is decided, but things look decidedly grim in the East End, as West Ham are three points adrift with two to play. It looks as if they won’t be travelling to Norwich next term, as the East Anglian side have booked a place in the top echelons, alongside QPR. Here in Spain, Real Madrid smacked in six of the best in Sevilla, no less,

and Mr Ronaldo helped himself to four of them, which means that he now has 34 goals, four behind the record held jointly by Zarra, of Athletic, some 60 years ago, and the great Hugo Sanchez – and he still has three games to play. But Barcelona, like Fergie’s lads, only need a point to be assured of the title they surely deserve, after a 2-0 win in the Catalan derby against Español. At the dog-end, Almería are already relegated, readers will know that Hercuoles are favourites to join them, but there is a real scrap on to stay up, still featuring half a dozen sides. In the second, Rayo and Betis are just about sure of promotion, and the English-style play-off is starting to take shape, with Granada my personal favourites there. (nothing to do with the fact that they play in the same strip as Doncaster Rovers,

honest!) Milan have been crowned champions in Italy, and Lille look like taking the French title. Going back to the Spanish league – money clearly plays an enormous part in the perpetual prominence of Real Madrid and Barcelona, but in case you are tempted to think of this as a purely Spanish syndrome, do note that either Manchester United or Chelsea have won the Premier League now for seven seasons, and one of them or Arsenal has been champion for the last sixteen! What to do about it? Search me, guv.

Manchester United’s Hernandez

Friday, May 13, 2011

AWNINGS

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CAR MECHANICS PROPERTY FOR RENT

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Friday, May 13, 2011

THE HE PLAYED WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE RUMOUR MILL

All the transfer gossip first in SPORT! HULL CITY

Half the Hull City squad will be released/sold over the summer. Those with potential deals already in place, Tijani Belaid, David Amoo (Liverpool), Hope Akpan (Everton) will be released. Craig Fagan, Will Akinson, Matt Duke and Anthony Gardner will all be released. Jimmy Bullard, Seyi Olofinjana, Paul McShane, Kevin Kilbane and Kamel Ghilas will all be sold/given away.

RANGERS After Craig Whyte has given McCoist roughly 10-15 million to spend in the summer, Rangers will look to sign David Goodwillie from Dundee United, David Templeton from Hearts, Craig Conway also from Dundee United, and attempt to re-sign Danny Wilson on a year's loan from Liverpool. Rangers are also looking for another centre back because of Bougherra's decision to seek a new challenge, so Rangers will look at Gary Kenneth and Christophe Berra if Wolves are relegated

FULHAM Mark Hughes has revealed his admiration for Espanyol striker Pablo Daniel Osvaldo, who has been linked with a move to Fulham. The £12million-rated Argentina-born Italian, who was on target again for the Spanish La Liga outfit in the 2-1 win against Athletic Bilbao last week, has also reportedly attracted the interest of Manchester United, Spurs and Everton in addition to Fulham.

BOLTON

Owen Coyle knows there is every chance he could lose Gary Cahill in the summer, with a number of Premier League rivals ready to pounce. The Whites would demand a fee of around £15million for the England international, and it appears as though they are already considering potential replacement.

LIVERPOOL Damien Comolli and Kenny Daglish have been finalising transfer targets for when the window re-opens in a couple of weeks with Jose Enrique, Ashley Young and Hulk believed to be the priority signings. Charlie Adam, Connor Wickham, Yann M'Vila, Sergio Canales, Blause Matuldi, Keisuke Honda, Phil Jones, Alex Smithies, Gary Cahill and Sylvain Marveaux are a few other players who have been monitored by the club and don't be too surprised if 1 or 2 of these turn out at Anfield next season.

WEST HAM

BALLESTEROS, a five-time major champion whose incomparable imagination and fiery personality made him one of the most significant figures in modern golf, died Saturday from complications of a cancerous brain tumour. He was 54. "Seve was one of the most talented and excited golfers to ever play the game," Tiger Woods said on Twitter. "His creativity and inventiveness on the golf course may never be surpassed. His death came much too soon." A statement on Ballesteros' website early Saturday said he died peacefully at 2:10 a.m. local time, surrounded by his family at his home in Pedrena. It was in this small Spanish town where Ballesteros first wrapped his hands around a crude 3-iron and began inventing shots that he would display on some of golf's grandest stages. He won the Masters at 23, leading by 10 shots at one point in the final round. He was a three-time winner of

the British Open, no moment greater than his 1984 victory at St. Andrews. He was as inspirational in Europe as Arnold Palmer was in America, a handsome figure who feared no shot and often played from where no golfer had ever been. "Today, golf lost a great champion and a great friend. We also lost a great entertainer and ambassador for our sport," Jack Nicklaus said. "No matter the golf that particular day, you always knew you were going to be entertained. Seve's enthusiasm was just unmatched by anybody I think that ever played the game." In a long list of spectacular shots, perhaps the most memorable came from a parking lot next to the 16th fairway at Royal Lytham & St. Anne’s in the 1979 British Open. Leading by two in the final round, he drove his ball into the lot, had a car removed to get his free drop, then fired his second shot to 15 feet and made birdie on his way to his first major.

Avram Grant is quitting West Ham after their final match. Cardiff City have contacted him about taking over at the CCS if David Jones moves back up north to Blackburn should the Bluebirds not win promotion. Villa also interested in him as well as a few clubs abroad. Replacing Grant will be Alan Curbishley, HMMM…

MAN CITY Man city will bid for Sanchez in the region of €70m and also Valeron is eyeing a move to Napoli for €17m. Evra & Nani to swap from City to United.

MAN UTD Wolves are willing to loan Michael Kightly out for 2011/12 if they stay up. Reading FC are looking at him as a replacement for Jimmy Kebe if they do not go up. Manchester united has made a 25 mill bid for Özil .He will have a trial there on the 11th May.

ARSENAL Arsenal will offer Nesta a 1 year deal to join Arsenal in the summer beat rivals Chelsea and Spurs have also been linked.

Friday, May 13, 2011

SPORTS ROUND-UP

TURK OF THE TOWN! Spinner turns winner as Vettel grabs F1 glory SEBASTIAN VETTEL hailed his victory in the Turkish Grand Prix as a "great result" for Red Bull after his crash on Friday had presented the team with a headache. Vettel's spin in wet conditions during the opening practice session gave his mechanics plenty to keep them occupied, with the defending world champion forced to miss the second session later that day. However, the car was ready in time for Saturday morning's final session and Vettel immediately leapt to the top of the timesheets before securing pole position in qualifying. Webber finished second after a long battle with Ferrari's Fernando Alonso, who passed him on lap 29 before the Australian took the place back with seven laps to go.

Schuey ‘likely to quit' FORMER F1 driver Johnny Herbert believes Michael Schumacher will retire for a second time sooner rather than later. The seven-time world champion is in the second year of his comeback with Mercedes GP but has struggled to date and has yet to score a podium finish. He has also been consistently outqualified and out-raced by team-mate Nico Rosberg. Schumacher finished 12th in the Turkish Grand Prix – seven places behind Rosberg. Herbert, who was Schumacher's team-mate at Benetton when he won his second title in 1995, said he thought age was not a factor in the 42-year-old's decline, rather that the new generation of drivers have raised the bar.

Weylandt killed in Giro tragedy Cycling was in a state of shock this week after Belgian rider Wouter Weylandt died following a crash during the third stage of the Giro d'Italia. TV footage showed the 26-year-old lying on the ground and bleeding heavily from his head after falling off his bike on the descent from the Passo del Bocco. Race doctor Giovanni Tredici revealed the battle to save Weylandt's

life had been a desperate struggle by the roadside with Weylandt suffering multiple injuries including to his skull. "The attempts to revive the rider lasted 45 minutes," he said. "I reached the scene barely 30 seconds after he had crashed, and was quickly joined by other experts, including a team doctor. But the situation was very serious, we could not do anything despite our best efforts." Helmets have been mandatory in cycling since the death of Kazakhstan's Andrei Kivilev during the Paris-Nice race in 2003. Italian Thomas Casarotto died following a crash during last year's Giro del Friuli. The last rider to die in a crash in a Grand Tour was Italy's Fabio Casartelli during the 1995 Tour de France.

Olympic medalists guilty of perjury A court in Greece has sentenced two Greek sprinters to suspended jail sentences for staging a motorcycle crash to avoid a doping test. Kostas Kenteris and Katerina Thanou were found guilty of perjury and sentenced to 31 months each. Their coach, Christos Tzekos, was sentenced for 33 months, though all three were expected to appeal. The sprinters had said an accident caused them to miss a drugs test on the eve of the 2004 Olympics in Athens. But Judge Dimitris Lefkos said the crash had never occurred. Two supposed witnesses and several doctors who treated the athletes in hospital were given shorter sentences. Kenteris, 37, won gold in the 200m at the Sydney Olympics in 2000 and Thanou, 36, took silver in the 100m.

Glover shoots down Byrd American golfer Lucas Glover beat compatriot Jonathan Byrd at the first extra hole of a sudden-death play-off to win the Wells Fargo Championship. The 2009 US Open champion parred the par-four 18th after his rival made five, both having finished on 15-under par for the tournament. South Africa's Rory Sabbatini finished third, one shot behind, after a seven-under 65, while Ireland's Padraig Harrington shot 68 to share ninth place.

Seve’s Spanish Open tribute South African Thomas Aiken claimed the Spanish Open on Sunday - and dedicated his victory to Severiano Ballesteros. The 27-year-old's first European Tour title was overshadowed by the death of the five-time major winner the previous day. "I definitely want to dedicate this win to him with it being his home Open and what he gave to his home fans and to golf," said the winner. Aiken beat Denmark's Anders Hansen by two shots with a final-round 70 at the El Prat course near Barcelona. All the players wore black ribbons in memory of home favourite Ballesteros and Aiken added: "He was everything to the game of golf and I am happy to have won for him. Any of us would have won for him. "I remember Seve, how he enjoyed life and how he enjoyed the game. He has been an inspiration for me and has kept me working hard." The former Ryder Cup star won the Spanish Open on three occasions during his illustrious playing career.

Boeljon’s maiden title glory Christel Boeljon held her nerve to claim her first solo European Tour title at the Turkish Airlines Ladies Open in Antalya. The 23-year-old Dutch girl held a one-stroke lead going into the final day and closed with a level-par 73 for a five-under-par total. She finished three strokes clear of playing partners Florentyna Parker and Becky Brewerton, who double bogeyed the last.. Boeljon opened up a five-stroke advantage after 11 holes and despite a shaky finish – with four bogeys and a chip-in birdie over the closing seven holes – she had the cushion to walk away with the €37,500 first prize. THIS WEEK: USPGA Tour: The Players’ Championship, Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida. European Tour: Iberdrola Open, Pula GC, Son Servera, Mallorca. Ladies’ European Tour: Open of Portugal, Campo Real Golf, Turcifal, Portugal.

JUNIOR STRIKERS Sponsored by the House Maids RESULTS 7/5/2011 Pre Benjamins: Sponsored by The Vegetable Garden San Miguel 3 Junior Strikers 2 The Blues Pre Bens suffered a big blow to their title hopes and now face an uphill battle to secure a semi final place. After dominating for most periods of the first half the Blues found themselves behind against the run of play. Within seconds of the restart Junior Strikers drew level through Rudi Mckinley who after a fantastic run fired a shot pass the home keeper from distance. Eddie Corbit then gave the Blues the lead with a neat volley inside the area from a Mckinley corner. Soon after the away team took the lead, the ref might as well of changed his green shirt for a Red and white one of San Miguel. The Blues were then denied a blatant penalty for a foul that was clearly inside the area. The Ref then decided that every time a San Miguel player was touched it was a foul and awarded free kick after free kick until eventually San Miguel drew level. With only moments left San Miguel delivered the killer blow to take all three points. The Blues Pre Benjamin’s season’s hard work was all undone by a one sided ref. Benjamins: Sponsored by Kulsveen s.l. Sheffield United 0 Junior Strikers 4 The Blues Benjamin’s had to dig deep to gain maximum

points away to Sheffield United. This was a very intense match because a win for the Blues would ensure a guaranteed semi final place with one match still to play. Due to the match being played on a Thursday evening Junior Strikers were without three first team players but still went ahead with the game calling upon two Pre Benjamin’s Eddie Corbit and Rudi Mckinley to step up and cover for their older absent team mates. The Blues had all the possession in the first period but could not get that all important break in front of goal. A goal less first half meant that the Blues needed to find a way to break the home team down to gain semi final status. Sheldon Green finally gave the Blues a deserved lead after a great solo run and finish from an impossible angle. After a quiet first half Blues keeper Kristjan Kartsson was called upon to make a great save to deny Sheffield United drawing level. Sheldon Green then went through the gears and delivered a 10 minute hatrick to put the game beyond Sheffield United. Both Joshua Charles and Jordan Harding were immense in there defensive roles throughout the game. Junior Strikers training sessions take place at the new sports centre in Playa Flamenca. Monday and Wednesday 6pm-7pm Mini Strikers group for age 3-5 years on Monday’s 6pm-7pm For more info about Junior Strikers please visit our website www.juniorstrikers.com

With Mick Hardy from Kidease PREMIER & LA LIGA FIXTURES Premier League Saturday, 14 May Blackburn v Man Utd, 13:45 Blackpool v Bolton, 13:45 Sunderland v Wolverhampton, 13:45 West Brom v Everton, 13:45 Sunday, 15 May Chelsea v Newcastle, 14:30 Arsenal v Aston Villa, 17:00 Birmingham v Fulham, 17:00 Liverpool v Tottenham, 17:00 Wigan v West Ham, 17:00 Tuesday, 17 May Man City v Stoke, 20:45

La Liga Sunday, 15 May Almeria v Mallorca, 16:00 Athletic Bilbao v Malaga, 16:00 Atletico Madrid v Hercules, 16:00 Barcelona v Deportivo La Coruna, 16:00 Getafe v Osasuna, 16:00 Real Zaragoza v Espanyol, 16:00 Sevilla v Real Sociedad, 16:00 Sporting Gijon v Racing Santander, 16:00 Valencia v Levante, 16:00 Villarreal v Real Madrid, 16:00

TOP TWO IN A THRILLER DAYA NUEVA 2 V. ALBATERA 2 Alevins under 12s Team Sponsor, Segurlab. Kit Sponsor, bluemoonsport.co.uk San Fulgencio CF 3 – 1 CF Bigastro Sponsored by 900telecom.com

Friday, May 13, 2011

ON THE BORD-WALK Manager Bordalás tells his players to step into line if they are to reach La Liga

by DAN SMITH JOSÉ BORDALÁS had no intention of letting depression set into the Elche psyche after their poor result in Salamanca 13 days before. The usually quite the spoken Bordalás left players covering their ears during the habitual midweek game against the reserves. Harsh words directed at the defence and keeper mean he was in no doubt where the blame fell for the unusual result. Defensively Elche have one of the best records in the division but the grim performance in Salamanca laid doubt in some minds about them coping with the added pressure of reaching the play offs. And following a week of managerial ear-bashing Elche took on the surprise club of the division, Alcorcón, last Friday evening who were playing in the second division for the first time in their history and sat comfortably mid table, however the encounter was anything but easy. Elche midfielder Edu Albacar's missile of a shot on 35 minutes was enough for the home side to take the three points. In what was a scruffy but entertaining performance by both teams with Elche defending well even though centre back and Captain Samuel was told just minutes before kick-off that he would have to watch the game from the stands, harsh punishment? Manager Bordalás must get things back into shape as the club begin their final run in, five games remain three of which are away against play-off rivals starting last night at second placed Rayo Vallecano. On the following Monday evening they are at home to Villarreal B at 9pm. Then it’s two back to back away games to Celta and Granada followed by the final game of the season at home to Xerez.

EDU ALBACAR 35min rocket shot won the game for elche

JOSÉ BORDALÁS gives instructions to EDU ALBACAR the games only goal scorer - Photos: MARK WELTON

EX HERCULANO TOÑO THWARTS THE BLUE-AND-WHITES With the sad, untimely death of Seve Ballesteros overshadowing this vital relegation clash, defensive errors by the Alicante side proved costly, and the second division looms.

Hercules 2 – Racing de Santander 3

HERCULES were still without Farinós, and, with Fritzler suspended, their midfield had a threadbare look as they took the field on a sunny afternoon, marred by a brief shower, in front of a crowd that looked to be in the region of 18,000. An emotive minute’s silence for the legendary golfer was observed respectfully, then the play began, with two fouls on French winger Thomert leaving him injured, and Rufete found himself on the pitch after only four minutes. Giovani was a constant threat when Racing came forward, his speed causing problems for the Hercules defence. With fourteen minutes on the clock, he fulfilled his promise when he rose to head home a cross from the right, for

an easy goal, with the Hercules defence ‘ball-watching’ and Calatayud nowhere at all. 0-1. At the other end, four minutes later, Tiago’s free kick drew a stunning finger-tip save from Toño, whose keeping was a notable feature of the whole game, as he took high balls with great confidence. Peña was playing well for the home side, and a combined move by Kiko and Cortes finished with a goalkick when the ball was somehow kept out by the Racing defenders. Kiko shot straight at Toño, and Rufete put Abel Aguilar through, only for his shot to be deflected for a corner. Hercules had what appeared to be a valid goal disallowed after a Cortes free kick on 36 minutes, but their pressure paid off

when, three minutes later, veteran Sendoa lashed home a low cross-shot to equalise. 1-1. But less than a minute later, a break straight from the kick-off saw Giovani with space to chip expertly over Calatayud. 1-2. Only three minutes passed before Tiago, at the other end, rammed home an unstoppable shot to make it 2-2. But that wasn’t the end of the craziness, and right on the stroke of half time, Henrique Adrián took an innocuous-looking free kick from midway inside the home half. Cala, who was having a ‘bad day at the office,’ flapped at the ball, as it sailed over his head into the net. 2-3. Trezeguet (at last!) replaced Sendoa as the second period began. The Alicante side exerted a lot of pressure on the visitors’ defence as the minutes ticked away, but Toño was a tower of strength, and inswinging corners were invariably

his property. Rufete had run himself almost to a standstill, but still looked the best of the home players. Valdez appeared to foul Cismaa, and the referee saw fit to show him a red card after 62 minutes – Hercules once again committed to finishing a game with ten men. Cisma, who had writhed around in agony for a while, made a miraculous recovery. Calatayud almost spilt another cross, then a Racing shot hit the post when they surged forward again. David Trezeguet hooked Rufete’s cross over the bar in the dying minutes, but Racing’s numerical superiority was telling, and time ran out with the Hercules faithful lamenting a less-thandynamic performance, especially in defence, which leaves them with a great deal to do – and hope for from other sources – in the last three matches.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Hercules 2 - Mallorca 2

RELEGATED

Hercules down but vowing to return

Nelson Valdez...down and out Hércules sink back into the second division Photo: Mark Welton By MALCOLM PALMER AS they prepared to face the mid-table islanders in yet another do-or-die fixture, the Alicante club had little real hope of avoiding relegation, as clubs just above them continued to show good form. Getafe, however, had fallen foul of Real Madrid, and Cristiano Ronaldo in particular, whose seven goals in two matches had put him only one away from Zarra and Hugo Sanchez’s shared all-time record. A ray of hope had come in the shape of the lifting of Nelson Valdez’s suspension, after Saturday’s red card, but there were still notable gaps in Hercules’ line-up, but Farinós was back in midfield, and Velthuizen was preferred to the out-of-form Calatayud in goal. It was good to see Pamarot back in the centre of defence. Valdez found himself on the bench. Mallorca looked like being danger-

ously quick, with de Guzman and Webo outstanding in attack. A crowd of some 18,000 greeted the teams on a pleasant evening. Trezeguet went very close from a Cortes cross after five minutes, his shot grazing the bar. Then, when Kiko made a great run through the Mallorca defence, the ball was slipped back to Sendoa, and the veteran winger slammed it gleefully into the net. 1-0, and 12 minutes gone. Pamarot was making his presence felt in defence, as the home side dominated play. Tiago saw a yellow card, but Marti’s free kick went straight into Velthuizen’s grasp. The Dutchman was looking sound. Cendros saw a yellow card for the visitors after 35 minutes, but much of the action was in midfield, where Abel Aguilar was next to be cautioned. The referee failed to notice when Kiko was blatantly fouled after 40 minutes, but then his superb cross

found Sendoa at the far post, who crashed the ball into the net. Is it his birthday? 2-0, and two minute to halftime. Trezeguet was ruled offside soon afterwards, or it would have been three. On the first half showing, Hercules, in their ‘Dr Jekyll’ guise, looked anything but second division material, with young Kiko and Cortes outstanding. Fritzler was on for a not-fullyrecovered Farinós as the second half began. Mallorca started to exert pressure, but Pamarot made some good stops, then Velthuizen brought off a fine save. Sendoa came off to great applause, and was replaced by debutant Luis Carlos. Abel Aguilar might have done better with a header from Kiko’s cross, then Hercules won a dangerous free kick, which Mallorca scrambled clear. Luis Carlos’ shot flew just wide after 65 minutes. Then Abel Aguilar strode through, the ball came

through to Trezeguet – in space, for once – but he shot wide. Things took a turn for the worse when, after 76 minutes, a scramble in the Hercules goalmouth resulted in the ball coming out to Marti, who drove it home from just outside the area. Two minutes later, and ‘Mr Hyde’ had really taken over, as Webó raced through and chipped the keeper expertly. 2-2. Valdez came on for Tiago – about time! But, apart from once feeding Trezeguet, who again shot wide, there was little he could do. Pereira shot narrowly wide for the visitors. And that was the whole, sad, tale. Big hole, here we come! After the match trainer Miroslav Djukic admitted that his players were exhausted, and said they had given their all. Barcelona, incidentally, scraped the point they needed to be sure of the title, with a 1-1 draw at Levante.