Courier Week 10

Edition 10

www.thecourier.es

Friday, April 29, 2011

WHERE THERE’S and a Kate ( ) of course A WILL Have a right Royal day all for free!

GET yourselves down to Rojales Market Place this morning (Friday) to watch the Royal Wedding and you could win yourself a valuable prize - FREE. Thanks to TKO and The Courier, you'll be showered with thousands of raffle tickets and the giveawayswill continue all day.

Come along, join in the fun with Georgie May from 11am and watch the whole ceremony on the big screen.

SEE PAGE 2

...is there a way it can last?

Story on p3

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Friday, April 29, 2011

TELEPHONE

96 672 6437 JUNGLE DRUMS

96 672 7334 E-MAIL office@thecourier.es WEB www.thecourier.es HEAD OFFICE Alto del Moncayo s/n, Guardamar del Segura, 03140, ALICANTE PHONE: 96 672 64 37 Email: office@thecourier.es OPENING HOURS Mon - Fri 1030 to 1730 EDITOR Dave Bull (English/Spanish) ADVERTISING SALES 96 672 6437 office@thecourier.es TELESALES 96 672 6437 616 332 178 Sally Los Alcazares, San Javier 618 391 491 Myra Quesada, Rojales, Torrevieja, San Miguel Tel. 618 583 765 Vanessa Gran Alacant, La Marina, Guardamar Tel. 638 741 847 Denise La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 697 241 753 Jean La Zenia, Playa Flamenca, Cabo Roig Tel. 618 898 034 Writers Dave Bull Malcolm Palmer Mick Hardy Donna Gee Suzanne Manners Spike Paul Payne Sally Bengtsson Tony Mayes Jake Monroe Dan Smith Photographer Mark Welton

Good luck and best wishes for the future from all at The Courier

HAPPY EVER AFTER! Wills and Kate tie the knot today at Westminster Abbey

THE soon to be Royal Newlyweds will be well aware of the global interest in their wedding today and we at The Courier wish them all the very best. Jamie LowtherPinkerton, the prince’s private secretary, is one of those responsible for making sure that everybody is able to enjoy the big day.

The Dean of Westminster will marry the couple at Westminster Abbey in what will be a great and happy occasion for the couple themselves, for their families and friends, for the country and Commonwealth and for well-wishers

across the globe.

According to the BBC, William and Kate wanted to marry on a Friday in spring and 29 April was chosen

because it fell after Easter and Lent and before a busy political programme in May and June. The extra holiday will fall in the

same week as Easter Monday, giving millions of workers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland a three-day week.

British PM David Cameron said: "We want to mark the day as one of national celebration, a public holiday will ensure the most people possible will have a chance to celebrate on the day."

However, a Mr Meldrew (he wasn’t really called that but should have been…) from anti-monarchy group Republic said creating a bank holiday for something "most people are not interested in" was "absurd" and that an extra day off should only be for something everyone could relate to…hopefully he has a good day anyway!

Royal wedding special – see pages 1 & 3

FREE - DRAWS DRAWS DRAWS with The Courier & TKO

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ROLL Up Roll Up to Rojales Market to The Royal Wedding Fiesta and bring today's edition of THE COURIER with you!! You could win all manner of prizes - all you have to do is write your name over the Courier Name on the front page of the paper showing the date April 29 - no cheating now! One entry per person and hand in your entry to Stephanie at the only drawer (knicker) stall we have!! TKO will direct you to Stephanie at the knicker stall and your entry could win you a lot more than a pair of new knickers !!!!!!!!!!

Monday Partly Sunny High Temperature: 23°C RealFeel: 24°C

Today Cloudy / showers High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 20°C

Saturday Cloudy / showers High Temperature: 19°C RealFeel: 24°C

Sunday Rain High Temperature: 21°C RealFeel: 24°C

Tuesday Mostly sunny High Temperature: 23°C RealFeel: 23°C

Wednesday Sunshine High Temperature: 23°C RealFeel: 22°C

Thursday Plenty of clouds High Temperature: 21°C RealFeel: 22°C

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Friday, April 29, 2011

BRITAIN CELEBRATES But history suggests that trouble lies ahead

Henry VIII - liked a wedding or six

63 years and still going strong

We are going to be soooo happy

DONNA GEE takes a somewhat irreverent look at the Royal Wedding – and suggests that, if history is anything to go by, Prince William and his bride will have their work cut out to make their marriage work over any length of time.

To most plebs, the pomp and ceremony of a Royal Wedding is an event to die for. But these days it’s a rare Prince or Princess whose marriage doesn’t die long before they do.

The fact is that, looking at recent history, the omens for couple-of-the-moment William and Kate are not good.

The Queen and Prince Philip have been married for a remarkable 63 years and five months. Indeed, most of us weren’t even born when the then Princess Elizabeth got hitched to the then Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark on November 20, 1947. (I should really say ‘most of YOU weren’t even born’ - but that would be giving my age away!).

I’m sure there have been plenty of ups and downs during the intervening years but the main thing is that, six decades and 27 Philip foot-in-the-mouth gaffes later, the marriage continues – and will inevitably continue to continue until, as the wedding oath affirms, ‘till death us do part.’

Which is a lot more than can be said for their children.

Indeed, the word ’divorce’ has sown a trail of destruction throughout the Queen’s immediate family ever since her uncle, King Edward VIII, abdicated in 1936 in order to marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson.

That world-changing decision thrust her father stuttering onto the ultimate stage as King George VI – and the then Princess Elizabeth became heir to the throne.

Next for a taste of divorce pain was her only sibling, Princess Margaret, who wanted to marry her father’s equerry Peter Townsend, only the Church of England to object to him being a divorcee.

How pitiful that reason now looks in light of the plethora of royal divorces that have followed!

Margaret subsequently hitched up with photographer Anthony Armstrong-Jones – Lord Snowdon – and 18 years later became a divorce statistic herself.

Whilst there has never been any suggestion of her own marriage breaking up, divorce was something the Queen was going to have to get used to. Because THREE of her four children proceeded to go down the same path as Princess Margaret over the next couple of decades.

The Prince of Wales (Charles), the Princess Royal (Anne) and the Duke of York (Andrew) were all married in the sort of glitz and glamour that befits the most illustrious family in the world. And which the public so adore.

And whilst our Liz and Phil can thank Princess Diana, Mark Phillips and Sarah Ferguson (aka the Duchess of York) for their part in produce half-a-dozen of their grandchildren, sadly their marriages all ended up on the rocks.

Between them, Prince Charles, Princess Anne and Prince Andrew managed a total of 44 years of marriage to their original partners, though how many of those years they were actually living together is anyone’s guess. Certainly no one believes the Prince and Princess of Wales were actually an item for the entire 15-year span of their marriage.

What the Queen and Prince Philip made of it all is anybody’s guess. The one thing they certainly won’t be complaining about is the nest of eight grandchildren – four boys and four girls - produced by the ‘Three Divorces and a Staywed’ brigade.

Two princes (William and Harry) a couple of princesses (Beatrice and Eugenie), plus Princess Anne’s untitled Peter and Zara Phillips and Prince Edward’s one of each make it an equal split The only surviving marriage is of course that of the Earl and Countess of Wessex – ‘baby’ of the Queen’s family Edward and his wife, former public relations manager Sophie Rhys Jones.

Perhaps the secret of keeping a royal marriage together is avoiding the headlines. And quiet man Edward has achieved that admirably despite numerous attempts by stir-mongers to ‘out’ him as being a closet homosexual.

Edward vehemently denies it. And the evidence of nearly 12 years of marriage – plus their children, Princess Louise, 7, and three-year-old James, Viscount Severn – would tend to indicate otherwise.

But as William and Kate prepare to make history today, it is certainly going to be one incredibly gay day…

Oh dear, can he afford to keep me?

'Have you seen Camilla?'

...and this is my backhand smash

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Friday, April 29, 2011

SAYS Well done to William and Kate, especially for putting some smiles (if only temporary) on peoples’ faces not just in the UK but also here in Spain and all around the world.

Right, I’m off to toast the bride and groom (several times) before heading to my local Indian and celebrating the coming together of two people very much in love…with a chicken biryani.

Cheers!

P29

TORRENTIAL RAIN CAUSES PAIN IN SOUTHERN SPAIN AFTER a year’s preparation, having to call off the Easter parades is heartbreaking for the participants, for whom it is an honour which they look forward to all their life. The Easter rain broke a lot of hearts last week, especially in Andalucia, where the heavens opened in style.

The worst rain forced church officials in the city of Seville in south-western Spain to call off all six nighttime processions. It's the first time since 1933 that the Good Friday processions have had to be cancelled. The processions, known as "La Madruga" are the high point of Easter week festivities in the city, drawing thousands of tourists, and broadcast live on Spanish television. But

Spanish go to any event just to stay dry the six "cofradias" or broth- crying in the streets as the erhoods, which organize rain fell. "The weather is the marches, cancelled getting worse. The weather them at the last minute, front has hit us directly. because of torrential rain. There is more water on the Spanish state television way," said one of the organshowed people in Seville izers, Adolfo Vela.

The last time the processions were cancelled was during the political turbulence leading up to the Spanish civil war in the 1930s. The processions date back to medieval times, and feature hooded men wearing conical hats, carrying huge, ornate floats with wooden statues of religious figures. They were to be held in the early hours of Good Friday. The first procession, called El Silencio because participants march in silence, traditionally gets underway just after midnight and the last wraps up at dawn.

Elsewhere in Spain, similar processions were planned for Friday, marking the day when Roman Catholics believe Jesus Christ was put to death.

JUST TO WIND UP DONNA (the cat) GEE… WE thought we’d show her that dogs ARE smarter than cats, she was barking up the wrong tree there but now we’ve put a Spaniel in her works and put together a RUFF list of…

The 8 of the MOST Intelligent Dog Breeds As the rest of us know…all dog breeds are intelligent - we’ve selected just the 8 most intelligent ones.

3 Bloodhound It is a large breed of dog bred for the specific purpose of tracking human beings. Consequently, it is often used by authorities to track escaped prisoners or missing persons. It is a scent hound, famed for its ability to follow a scent hours or even days old, over long distances.

1 Napolitan Mastiff This massive breed is often used as a guard and defender of family and property due to the protective instincts and their fearsome appearance.

6 English Bulldog Bulldog, colloquially known as the British Bulldog, or English Bulldog, is a type of dog which traces its ancestry to England. It should not be confused with other varieties such as the American Bulldog or the French Bulldog, which has a similar appearance.

7 Basenji The Basenji is a breed of hunting dog that was bred from stock originating in central Africa. Only in North America is the breed considered to be of the sight hound type. Most of the major kennel clubs in the English-speaking world place the breed in the Hound Group, although The American Kennel Club has proposed realigning the dog breed groups, placing the Basenji into a new sight hound group.

8 Afghan Hound The Afghan Hound is a very old sight hound dog breed.

Distinguished by its thick, fine, silky coat and its tail with a ring curl at the end, the breed acquired its unique features in the cold mountains of Afghanistan, where it was originally used to hunt hares, and gazelles.

Bloodhound

Napolitan Mastiff 2 Beagle Beagles are popular as pets because of their size, even temper, and lack of inherited health problems. These characteristics also make them the dog of choice for animal testing.

Although beagle-type dogs have existed for over 2,000 years, the modern breed was developed in Britain around the 1830s from several breeds, including the Talbot Hound, the North Country Beagle, the Southern Hound, and possibly the Harrier.

4 Borzoi (Russian Wolfhound) Borzoi is a breed of domestic dog (Canis lupus familiaris) also called the Russian Wolfhound. They have mediumlength and slightly curly hair and are similar in shape to Greyhounds. They are a member of the sight hound family.

5 Chow Chow Chow-Chow is a breed of dog that was first developed in Mongolia about 4,000 years ago and was later introduced into China, where it is referred to as Songshi Quan which literally means "puffy-lion dog".

Afghan Hound

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Friday, April 29, 2011

YOUR TYPICAL BRIT, HE IS… WITH the help of language-school teacher Jose Perez, The Courier takes a tongue-in-cheek look at the way the Alf Garnetts of Spain perceive the British.

swarm around their country seeking the sunshine that invariably shuns our own grid-locked island?

For the past dozen years Perez, 43, has taught Spanish to students of all nationalities at the Berlingua School of Languages in Quesada – 75% of them English. Teaching runs in his family and after seeing 4,000 pupils pass through Berlingua’s doors, he’s a

Jose Monllor Perez: Amusing stereotypes Jose Monllor Perez is small, dark, law-abiding and enjoys nothing more than relaxing with his pals, a cerveza and a cigarette. A stereotypical Spaniard, you might say.

We all have our own views on what exactly constitutes an archetypal native of this particular Iberian nation.

But how do the cynics among the Spanish people see US – the thousands, nay millions, of Brits who

pretty good judge of character.

The Alicante-born profesora is also a dab hand at another trait that runs in the family – art. And he paints a hilarious tongue-in-cheek picture of the stereotypical Brit, as seen through the eyes of more prejudiced Spaniards.

Spainly speaking, some twisted Senors believe we are an apologetic, dogcrazy, dirty, unfit, drunken bunch of tattooed hooligans.

And those are our good points!

The bad guys apparently all wear bowler hats and carry umbrellas.

a dirty, apologetic, unfit, tea-guzzling, burnt, tattooed, dog-loving hooligan JUST ASK ANY SPANISH IGNORAMUS!

withdrawing money.’’

Next comes the obligatory condemnation of our drinking excesses. No, not getting ratted every day and spending most nights, as Billy Connolly would say,

obsession with queuing.

BRIT STEREOTYPE 4: ‘‘They love to stand in a line waiting. Sometimes I think they make queues when there is nothing to queue How clean is your house?

Here, as interpreted by Perez, is the lowdown on how the Alf Garnetts of Spain see us.

Bad Guy?

BRIT STEREOTYPE 1: ‘‘They are always saying ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’.

Sometimes I think that if you stamped on an Englishman he would apologise. And they say ‘thank you’ so much that I’m sure they thank cash machines after

‘‘talking to Hughey down the big white telephone’’.

Something gentler and more refined than that - tea!

BRIT STEREOTYPE 2: ‘‘’They drink tea at all hours – and with COLD milk.

Uggh! I thought it was meant to be hot.’’

As for the UK’s muchmaligned alcohol culture, few can argue with the observations of Spaniards in general. These, in a nutshell, amount to...

BRIT STEREOTYPE 3: ‘‘They drink far too much beer and wine and are drunk for most of the day. They go on the beach p***ed, forget that their skin is being fried by the sun – and of course get burnt. Their white skin never goes brown, it’s always bright red.’’

Then there is our perceived

The guys all have tattoos and look like hooligans

for!’’

The British obsession with our pets is another peculiarity that particularly amuses Perez and his countrymen.

BRIT STEREOTYPE 5: ‘‘They really love their dogs.

We think they sleep with them, eat with them, take them on the bus, go into bars and get drunk with them – and then take each other home. They spend a fortune on their animals, and even have RABBITS as pets. Loco!

Perez also thinks the Channel 4 programme ‘How Clean Is Your House?’ may have done Britain’s image more harm than good. And he fears that it has made some Spanish people think we’re all DIRTY. ‘‘That TV show is incredible,’’ he says. ‘‘The gardens are clean and tidy, but inside

the houses it’s completely the opposite. I wouldn’t be surprised if Spanish people who go into English bars after seeing that programme examine the cups and spoons!’’

Then there is our physical condition, of course, and to some uneducated Spaniards we simply don't shape up. Except as thugs.

BRIT STEREOTYPE 6: ‘‘Their fitness levels are bad with lots of people overweight – and the guys all have tattoos and look like hooligans.’’

According to Perez, we are also seen in some quarters as shy about discussing sexual matters and bashful when it comes to talking about hmmm…let’s say, anything to do with personal lavatory habits. But when it comes to over-use of the F word, we are just about invincible.

Away from the wisecracking, Perez re-emphasises that only ignorant people actually BELIEVE these characteristics are representative of any nation. ‘‘Each person is an individual,’’ he says. ‘‘There are Englishmen who do not drink tea, Spanish people who don’t like flamenco, Germans who don’t have a moustache, Italian pizza haters, non-romantic Frenchmen and Russians who don’t belong to the Mafia. ‘‘Our brain wants to save energy and work quickly, so it creates stereotypes. It's easier to believe than that each person is uniquely different.’’

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Friday, April 29, 2011

YOU THINK YOUR OLDER THAN EVERYONE ELSE? 37. Getting tipsy for the first time 38. Psychedelic paintings in the house 39. Using shelves as room dividers 40. The Mash Potato (dance) 41. The Merseybeats (pop group) 42. Peyton Place 43. Push pops 44. Michael Fish

By Alan Gilchrist Costa Blanca’s Top (Hypnotherapist) AFTER my last article I was inundated with more trivia about the past. Please keep it coming by contacting me on trivia@alangilchrist.com.

Everyone loves nostalgic trivia so I thought I would devise an on-going quiz that (almost) everyone can join in.

For the younger ones and those of you who are young at heart, just say the words to your partners or parents and watch their faces light up. Then sit back and listen to their stories about what it all meant to them!

Count all the ones that you remember - not the ones you were told about by your parents!

1. Their first overseas holiday 2. Satchel with shoulder strap

7. Standing up for the national anthem at the end of a film in the cinema 8. Eating what was put in front of you or else!

9. Helen Shapiro 10. The rag and bone man 11. School sports day 12. Their first date

Johnny Morris

3. Having to get dressed up for when the vicar came visiting 4. Coal Scuttles 5. Paper rounds 6. Animal magic with Johnny Morris

13. Making paper aeroplanes 14. Jensen Interceptor cars 15. Sherbet Flying Saucers 16. Their long hair (even the boys) 17. Their first day at school

(primary and Secondary) 18. Going fishing with a make shift rod 19. Making a boomerang 20. Catching fish from the local pond and wanting to keep them in the bath or sink 21. Mister Magoo 22. Buckfast wine 23. Linda Carter (Wonder Woman) 24. Getting their eyes tested at school 25. Their all-time favourite Christmas present 26. Johnny Weissmuller 27. Standard Fireworks (Light up the sky) 28. Playing truant 29. Washboards 30. Silver thrupenny bits 31. Making tents in the front room with a bed sheet 32. Seeing their first shooting star Mister Magoo

33. Wolsey Hornet Casey Jones (Allan Hale Jnr.) 34. The first Chinese takeaway opening up in their area 35. Queuing for petrol during a national strike 36. The 3 day week

45.

46.

47.

48.

Wind-up toy cars Playing commandos Open coal fires Getting oranges in your

Christmas stocking 49. Hand held 3D viewers 50. Ursula Andress 51. The Clangers 52. The film "Kes" 53. Pooters 54. Nipits sweets 55. Getting the cane 56. Mr Blobby 57. Mr Motivator 58. National Service 59. Mr Teasy Weasy 60. Davy Crockett hats

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Friday, April 29, 2011

THAT’S THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT

THE FRENCH are kicking off I see. Well, sort of. French Muslims are not happy about the ban on females wearing the full Burka which means their face is covered.

According to our onion munching cousins, if they can’t see your face - you could be trouble. I can see it from their perspective (although in Sarkozy’s case I have to get on my knees) and that someone walking along the Champs-Elysees wearing a full Burka or a balaclava might look intimidating and could be a terrorist in disguise. But from what I’ve witnessed so far, most of the ‘martyrs’ who believe they’re off to live with the virgins, don’t care if anyone sees their face.

Yes, they should have to show their face, when asked, to authorities or when boarding planes and the like. But we have to put

trust in our security services to a certain degree, or walk around like paranoid Americans; wondering if ‘that’s one’?

No, sorry Frenchies you’ve got this one wrong – if we’re ‘free’ we’re ‘FREE’ and I only have one question. In the winter, the numerous scooter riders in and around Paris put on a headscarf, helmet and possibly sunglasses, to keep out the cold and the sun while they head into the city – why aren’t they banned too…?

Of course if a woman is gorgeous then I think the law should be applied the other way and they should be banned from wearing the Burka. Yes, all beautiful ladies cannot wear it, and in fact should have to wear a bikini on sunny (or sunny-ish) days…obviously that doesn’t apply to my mum…

If I fall from here...

LOVE IS…A THROBBING BETWEEN YOUR LEGS I WAS INVITED to the opening of a new motorbike shop in Elche this week, one that had been set up by an ex-racing friend.

Great! Free beer, buffet and probably loads of goodies too. I wasn’t disappointed and neither were the hundred or so others who’d come along to support Jose by eating and drinking his future profits. Still stuff got bought and sold and ordered while Jose worked the crowd like a star on opening night, which I guess he was in a way.

He’s put everything into it and risked the family home to raise the money to do it. But do it he has and his smile was from ear to ear as the till ‘ker-chinkked’ with fat men buying leather outfits while the gorgeous women didn’t….what a strange world we

live in.

However, over in the corner sat a beauty.

All on her own and looking in need of some company. So I went over, and climbed on. It took Jose and my son to pull me off the 100 brake horse Honda Fireblade; literally peeling my fingers one by one from the handle bars with Jose laughing and telling me to buy it while the rest of the shop laughed with me (definitely with me…). the thought of putting myself in hock for the best part of four hundred euros a month brought me back to reality, and anyway sitting loyally outside my other bike was looking like she needed some attention, so off we rode, together…I’m seeing the nice man with the shiny couch next week…

Paying the price: Medieval markets can cost you dear

MED-EVIL MARKET PRICES Greensleeves my a***!

THE medieval market is back in town which is a great idea, the only trouble with it being medieval – the robbers. Yup, if you go to one of these ‘authentic medieval markets’ beware of losing your cash. And these robbers don’t even have the courtesy to wear a mask - because they’re mainly the stall-holders.

Yes, far from really making it ‘authentic’ and having a few street beggars in rags hanging around (rather than a few Romanians with the communal baby wearing Nikes), they don’t even have a decent way of relieving you of your hard earned – like a pick-pocket. At least then you could come home and bemoan the fact that you lost 50€ ‘and the nippy little fella was so quick I dint feel a thing’. No, at the medieval market they hardly rob you blind but you end up caught up in the atmosphere of it, and what the heck, those incense sticks must be worth 5€ each...

But I’ve said it before, the food stalls are the bankers of the medieval market world.

Because unless the pigs they are roasting are living the years up to the end of their short lives at the pork equivalent of The Priory and hamming (geddit?) it up living a life of opulence and luxury, how on earth do they justify the price of a few bits of ‘Babe’ and some ‘authentic’ bread?

The ‘authentic’ tarot card reader was interesting – she had an advert running outside her tent – on 42-inch plasma but the Hawks and Falcons were impressive and gave you a slight feel of life back then.

Having said that, whoever put the birds of prey next to the remote control car track needed their head looking at.

Still the kids enjoyed it…well ‘Ye Olde Sweet Shoppe’ anyway, oh and those plastic horns that make a sound like a duck…apparently Henry the Eighth had one…

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Friday, April 29, 2011

Friday, April 29, 2011

GOT AN ‘OLOGY’?

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Tony Mayes looks at the ever-expanding range of courses available to students and asks if the really are beneficial to society I WAS recently watching an episode of The Weakest Link when Anne Robinson was ripping to bits a young man who had just completed a degree in geography. His claim to fame was studying the erosion of golf courses in Kent, or some such thing, and was now working in a paper packing plant somewhere.

It demonstrated the uselessness of much of the so called educational qualifications today.

Armies of youngsters have been led to believe that going to university and getting a degree in almost anything is the passport to getting a plum job and a meal ticket for life.

How sad that brainwashing was. In my profession we grinned whenever a journalist announced he or she was joining the gravy train becoming a lecturer in journalism. More often than not these journalists were the ones who didn't really make the grade in the profession, and opted out of it at the earliest opportunity.

Sadly, they knew as we all did that we were in a contracting industry, with newspapers closing at an alarming rate as circulation fell and there was a proliferation of other places where advertisers could spend their money, often in new media.

There was also a huge growth in such publications as Friday Ad which employed salespeople and no journalists.

Yet colleges and universities spent a fortune, aided and abetted by the Labour government, creating an everincreasing number of media studies courses. Youngsters flocked to them, hoping for that chance of a glamour job in the world of newspapers.

The reality was there were no jobs for them. Newspapers were shedding jobs left right and centre and long gone were the days when a job in journalism was in any way glamorous.

Education in Britain had become another massive industry, much of it built on a con that a degree was a passport for a

good job. Yes, obviously, some degrees are worthwhile; especially those leading to a job in the sciences, but many are not. It merely demonstrates the ability to study and retain facts long enough to pass

exams.

When I was taking on staff I would look first at those candidates who had a good, all-round education at school, with good qualifications, rather than someone with a degree, because the latter would often think they were God's answer and would not be told, while the former was willing to listen and learn.

Much of this education boom was a political con, keeping an army of youngsters in education rather than on the dole.

And they were left in ignorance that the number of jobs available to them were disappearing at an alarming rate.

A government worth its salt would have legislated to require companies employing say 25 people to employ an apprentice. Forget work experience - introduce apprenticeships, one apprentice for every 25 employees in a company would greatly reduce youth unemployment and get people learning a trade or profession. A three-year apprenticeship worked for me, giving me 42 years of non-stop employment. It would work for many thousands now, year after year.

And talking of the need to have a government worth its salt, let’s have one which acts firmly and quickly to legislate to benefit the average person and not companies. I refer to the appalling practice of companies charging for the use of credit and debit cards. Every company with a turn-over of a million pounds should have to, by law, offer payment by card and without charges.

That would end the scandal of the budget airlines, holiday companies, et al, charging ridiculous sums for the use of cards when they know people cannot pay by cash. It's a con; a scandal, and I would like companies acting in this way fined so heavily they are taken out of business.

It's a real danger when a few companies get so powerful that they have more power and more money at their disposal than governments. Oil companies, news organisations and airlines come to mind.

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Friday, April 29, 2011

A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

By Suzanne Manners

ONE of my greatest fantasies as a teenager (apart from the one in which I find myself in a sleeping bag with David Cassidy) was to be a travel writer. In the tradition of Hemmingway or Irving (you know, drunk in a seedy hotel about to embark on an improbable and dangerous adventure). So during my visit to Gibraltar I decided to try my hand at what is becoming (due to a shrinking world) a dying art.

The smell of urine and kebabs is overpowering as I sit in my dank room, suitcase packed, ready for flight. In the distance the sound of gunshots, sharp in the languid noon.....Oh alright then ... I’m actually sitting on the terrace of a four star hotel overlooking the straits, sipping a glass of chilled wine and listening to the sound of Flamenco on the radio.

The rock of Gibraltar squats, like a hot, fat child in the middle of two seas and an ocean, the Straits, the Med and the Atlantic. From the top of the rock, on a clear day, one can see the Rif Mountains of Morocco.

Gibraltar has a rich and varied history having been conquered by the Moors, the Spanish and the British.

Since the Treaty of Utrecht in 1713 (when Spain ceded Gibraltar to the British) it has remained resolutely British (at the last referendum the Gibraltarians voted overwhelmingly by 99.9 percent to remain British (the 0.9 percent was Carlos who was too drunk to vote)). It has a character entirely its own. Main Street, which as its name suggests is the Rock’s main thoroughfare, boasts a Marks and Spencer’s, a BHS and Roy’s Fish and Chips. A variety of bars offer full English breakfasts and pints of bitter. Its residents are bilingual and

conversations are conducted, usually at full throttle and loudly, using a mixture of both Spanish and English. The buildings are typically British colonial in design and remain unspoilt and largely unrenovated (although this is changing as the desire for high class, historical dwellings grows among the wealthy and expanding business community.)

The Rock is home to many different peoples; culturally diverse it is a genuine melting pot of religion and race.

At times Main Street could be the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem as Arab women, dressed entirely in black robes, brush shoulders with orthodox Jews (not literally of course). Gibraltarians are noted for their tolerance and acceptance. There is a mosque, a synagogue, two cathedrals and many churches, Hindu and Catholic live side by side in perfect harmony (as the song goes).

In 1994 my heart was ripped from my body and flung upon the lighthouse at Europa Point, where it has remained. I first entered the Rock from the frontier at La Linea on the back of a motorbike driven by Gorgeous Dan (my boyfriend at the time).

Gibraltar is a place that inspires deep emotions in the visitor. One either loves it or hates it. Gibraltar does not inspire indifference. Dan hated it. In the ensuing tug of war, Gibraltar won. One glimpse of the Rock will flip my heart and send me reeling, dizzy with memories. I spent many happy (and some sad) years in Gibraltar. My son was born there and the love of my life is buried in the cemetery on Devil’s Tower road. I left, reluctantly in 2000 with a suitcase of clothes, a travel cot and 200 cigarettes.

(More in my next article) A visit to the museum on

Bomb House Lane (don’t you just love those street names?) is a must.

Gibraltar’s history is fascinating. Neanderthal man should have been Gibraltar woman. A woman’s skull, discovered in Forbes Quarry in1848, pre dates by 8 years, the discovery of Neanderthal man.

The siege tunnels, (which criss cross the interior of the rock) remain as a testament to the ingenuity and bravery of man. Hewn from the rock by hand they emerge at certain points as look out posts and are dotted around the rock like the holes in an old cheese. The tunnels begin at the top of the rock (reached by taxi) which is an area of noted beauty and conservation, protected by the Government of Gibraltar.

Also accessible by cable car is the entrance to St Michaels Cave which is an outstanding example of prehistoric rock formation, full of stalactites and stalagmites. The centre of the cave houses a concert hall.

‘Gibraltar squats, like a hot, fat child in the middle of two seas’ And of course there are the apes which roam safely upon the upper rock, although during hot summers, families of apes (Barbary Macaques) will venture as far as Main Street causing havoc and mayhem. They are noted for their light fingers and will steal anything that is not screwed down (although my friend Ian discovered to his cost that not even moped wing mirrors are safe). They are well fed but greedy and there are fines for anyone caught giving them food.

Like the Ravens in the Tower of London, legend has it that Gibraltar will fall if the apes ever leave.

Most visitors are surprised to discover that Gibraltar is

attached to Spain by an Isthmus. One crosses the border (thankfully since relations with Spain have improved there are shorter queues) via the airport runway. A short walk or taxi ride and you are at Casemates Square, Ragged Staff Gate, Jumpers Bastion, or The Naval Dockyard; names that conjure up ancient battalions and the ghosts of soldiers dressed in red carrying unwieldy muskets.

The Rock hotel perches above the botanical gardens, peering out from behind abundant foliage, like a great white face. The cable car passes above, whirring and creaking on reinforced steel. From the Wisteria Terrace guests can enjoy Tapas and wine while looking out over the Straits.

The hotel was built in the 1930s and remains one of the oldest on the Rock. Its faded charm and Art Deco design separates it from other, bland and impersonal hotels. The staff are polite and helpful, head waiters dress like extras from an episode of Poirot. The receptionists are beautiful (even the men) and in keeping with the colonial flavour, afternoon tea, complete with sandwiches and cakes is available after lunch. The hotel’s guests have been many and varied from Prince Andrew to Sean Connery. The signing in book is a historical object of some importance and is reproduced on the restaurant menu. Juan Condé de Barcelona in 1950 signed himself as “pretender to the Spanish throne”. A short while later the film star Errol Flynn signed himself, “Errol Flynn, pretender.”

On my third visit to the Rock Hotel I was given a large room and a basket of fruit as a welcome back; a genuine and simple gesture that will ensure my return. I also discovered, to my delight, that my hero Hemmingway had once stayed there.

What more could a girl want? Hemmingway, Errol Flynn, fish and chips and a large Mojito.

Heaven (and not to forget, duty free).

So, if you have to choose between a Rock and a hard place, please choose the Rock, you won’t be disappointed, or indifferent.

(The Alsa bus company provides a daily service from Alicante to La Linea De la Concepción. The journey takes 10 hours and is a reasonable 98Euros. The Rock hotel is strongly recommended. More information can be found on its website: www.rockhotelgibraltar.com Information about Gibraltar: www.gibraltar.gov.uk)

Friday, April 29, 2011

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Friday, April 29, 2011

AN ISLAND OF HOPE

JESUS told us to give to Caesar that which was Caesar’s and to God that which was God’s. So we concentrate on that which is God’s, the people he created. This is why Cuba is in our opinion - an Island of Hope.

Since 2002, Pastor Rafael from Torrevieja has been visiting Cuba and involving himself with the National workers of one of the Evangelical organisations. Our endeavor has been to facilitate, encourage, and provide some financial support through AMG International and AMG Spain.

Recently Rafael, returned from a visit to this group of National Workers. “I always go with the idea of encouraging them with medicine, gifts, and Christian materials, but I always walk away feeling as if I was the one challenged and strengthened.”

In our first visit in 2002, the organization which we partner with had 25 churches cared for by 25 pastors and with an influential circle of 2000+ people. Since then 4 pastors have “retired” and 10 have left the Island for various reasons. But this is not a story of struggle but of success.

The island of Cuba has 14 provinces and our partners are in 11 of them at this point in time. To date, there are 55 churches being

attended by 50 pastors and ministering to a circle of influence of over 5000+ people. The midrange goals include a church in every province by 2013 with a total of 70 churches.

At the centre of this endeavor is the “Las Palmas” Camp/Bible School/Seminary. This is the facility which unites the churches, educates the up and coming preachers, and provides a B.A. and a M.A. to those interested in advanced education via the ESEPA Seminary in Costa Rica. This seminary sends its professors a number of times a year to Cuba to train, educate, and equip.

The campus is made up of 12 buildings, if you want to call them that - 3 houses, 1 dorm, 1 bathroom house, 1 library/study, 1 kitchen dining room, 1 chapel, and 4 buildings in desperate need of help. The challenge comes when it is time to actually educate the students. Transportation is difficult and expensive. Books are carried in by hand but are also expensive to the Cuban church. Food and lodging also takes a large bite. Maybe you would like to get involved, if so feel free to contact Pastor Rafael at the ICA church…

We are so grateful for being a part of this miracle in Cuba. “Hope” truly is part of what God is doing on this Caribbean Island.

BEWARE OF A NOTE ON THE CAR WINDOW

Robbers are out to get your car with a con that has left drivers up and down the coast worried LAST week we heard from a reader who told us about her experience involving one of the latest cons that is taking place along the coast that of car-jacking. Here’s her story.

Just last weekend on Friday night we parked in a public car park. As we drove away I noticed a sticker on the rear window of the car.

When I took it off after I got home, it was a receipt for petrol. Luckily my friend told me not to stop as it could be someone waiting for me to get out of the car. Then we received an email with a warning from police about this very activity which seems to be happening in the area.

The email explains how the carjackers work and warning readers that when they get inside their car – usually in a car park, often they will have parked with the front of the car facing the

kerb and naturally start the engine put the car into reverse gear.

It’s at that point, when they look into the rear view mirror to back out of the space, the driver will notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window.

Most drivers will of course jump out of the car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) but leaving the car running. What has happened previously to victims is that when they reach the back of the car, the carjackers appear, apparently out of nowhere, hop into your car and drive off. Several victims have had to move out of the way pretty quickly too as the carjackers seemed to have no concern whether they hit their victims or not. They practically run you over as

QUESADA PUPS - IN THE FIELDS FOR FOUR MONTHS THEY were first seen four months ago as young puppies, four of them with their mother.

It was a Norwegian man who when walking his dog near the river in Quesada first caught site of the four puppies and their mother, at the time he could not get near to them.

He next saw them again on Friday 8th of April, motherless the puppies looked in terrible condition, one has a bad limp.

He phoned a local animal rescue centre based in Quesada, but they could not offer any help or assistance at that time.

He then phoned Mark Lewis a Councillor at San Fulgencio Town Hall who contacted one of the K9 Team volunteers Rikke who lives in Quesada.

Rikke went with the man on Saturday to rescue them.

They managed to rescue three of them; unfortunately the fourth one dashed up a concrete drain pipe and would not come out.

Mel another K9 volunteer went there on Sunday the 10th with the K9 Animal Rescue vehicle and crew on duty, Frank and his wife Mary, to meet Renee, the

Norwegian man, to try to rescue the last one. Mel travelled up the long concrete pipe but could not see to the end of the tube as the torch stopped working. We will go again tomorrow to try again.

Renee has agreed to foster them whilst we advertise them for a home. The K9 Club will also help with the costs of veterinary treatment.

The puppies appear to be about 6 months old, possibly all are Pointer cross. There are 2 bitches and 1 dog.

One has trouble with its left hip she has been named Sally.

Sally needs surgery from a specialist bone surgeon as the injury to Sally's leg occurred up to three months ago when she was abandoned and living in the fields with her siblings.

Since then knitted together in the wrong position, goodness knows what pain and suffering she has gone through.

The leg needs to be broken again, the bones formed and shaped, then clamped together in the right position.

It’s estimated cost is over 800 Euros for the surgery alone.

The others appear to be OK physically but they are all full of fleas and ticks. After a real good dosing with Frontline fleas and ticks appear to be falling off.

They were very lethargic before the spraying but all seemed to perk up about an hour later.

At this time the fate of the fourth pup is unknown, we would ask anyone in the Quesada area to keep a look out for it.

You can follow the story on the K9 club website at www.petsinspain.info or if you are able to help these poor puppies in any way please contact Brenda on 611 606 001 Email k9spain@gmail.com The K9 Club is run by a fantastic group of volunteers, once again we are struggling to pay the monthly kennelling and veterinary bills.

We currently owe various veterinary clinics approx.

3000 Euros. We would like to appeal to members of the public to make a donation towards the cost of Sally's surgery or perhaps become a sponsor for Sally or one her siblings.

We have named Sally's brother and sister Bonzo and Daisy.

PRIVACY FOUND! they speed off in your car.

The police warn readers that not only have the carjackers got your car, but if the documents (and your bag?) were still in the car at the time, then they also have a home address, all the drivers’ money, and their keys. A victim’s home and whole identity are now compromised.

The advice from the police is as follows.

If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, lock your doors and just drive away.

Remove the paper later.

Report it to the police.

If you’ve been a victim of carjacking, or any other crime – we want to know about it at The Courier, write in to office@thecourier.es and we’ll help warn readers of the conmen and tricksters that are out there.

And at the right price too from Window Films LET’S face it, none of us likes having our privacy invaded or even interrupted and just knowing that somebody could be looking into your home is enough to send shivers down the spines of many of us.

While many would agree that privacy is a basic right in life, maintaining even a modicum of privacy can sometimes be difficult. And that challenge is especially difficult for those living in built up areas or on urbanisations.

However, there are methods that can be used to give back one's private life and one of the best options is the use of privacy film for windows.

Privacy film for windows not only provides a great way to increase one's privacy, it is

also a viable way to improve a house's energy efficiency.

Not everyone is familiar with privacy film for windows, so a quick word with Window Films, a local company will be helpful for anyone considering this option.

They can offer products to suit for any size window, plain or patterned and they can apply a full window for total privacy or partial window to reduce and screen unsightly views or prying eyes.

That means more natural daylight for you as there will be no need to draw the curtains or close blinds and shutters during the day. The guys at Window Films have a great track record here in Spain and have been working in this field for over 40 years –they know what they are talking about, and they won’t baffle you with words until your eyes, er…glaze (?) over…

Give them a call and have a chat to see what Window Films can do for you.

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Friday, April 29, 2011

VECINOS COLABORANDO – ORIHUELA COSTA (NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH) TOGETHER with nearly all the countries of the World, our part of Spain suffers with its fair share of criminal activity.

However, it is probably no worse and in fact is a lot better than in other Western countries.

We are fortunate on the Orihuela Costa that we have in the Policia Local, Guardia Civil and Policia Judicial very professional security forces.

We in the Vecinos Colaborando together with these forces and with the co-operation of the Ayuntamiento (Town Hall) feel that a lot is being done to prevent and reduce crime in our area.

It is, however, important to highlight the types of Crime we are experiencing here on the Coast. This is not intended to frighten anyone but to put as many people as possible on their guard so that it may be made more difficult for the criminal to strike. Remember, most crime in our area is of an opportunist nature. Do not invite the thief to steal.

VEHICLE CRIME a) Visitors are quite often followed from the airports and whilst unloading luggage from the car, they are robbed of handbags, etc. Do not leave luggage unguarded. b) When parking the car, do not leave anything on show. If the thief wants something you have left on view, no matter of what value, he will break into the vehicle to steal it. c) When loading your car at the supermarket or shops, never become engaged in conversation with anyone you don’t know. No matter how well he or she is dressed they may distract you whilst property is being stolen.

STINGING IN THE RAIN

HOUSE CRIME a) Do not allow anyone into your house unless you know them even though they may claim to represent authority. If in doubt, call the Police. b) When you are in the garden or on the patio, always secure windows and doors, even though you think that you are close enough to them. c) Persons arriving should be particularly vigilant as many people have had intruders whilst away visiting supermarkets and restaurants on the day of arrival. d) Never leave anything valuable that can be seen through windows even if you are present in the house and all doors and windows are secure. This especially applies at night when you have retired to bed.

Over the years, we have heard of persons who have had their houses broken into whilst they have been asleep and where a form of “sleeping” gas has been used. This is not a regular occurrence in our area but it can happen.

STREET CRIME Handbag theft is unfortunately quite common in the commercial and leisure parts of our area.

We advise residents and visitors to carry with them only things that they need to carry. Again, the thief is looking for an easy target. If you provide one he will strike.

Beware of cars being driven slowly.

When visiting Banks, put away money, credit cards or bank

books whilst still at the counter or desk even if there is a queue of people waiting to be served.

Most Banks have large windows through which the criminal can see who has withdrawn money and who hasn’t.

When leaving supermarkets or shops always put away change whilst inside the building and out of view of persons waiting outside.

When obtaining money from cash machines, always be on your guard and never let anyone see your PIN number. If persons are loitering in the vicinity of machines do not use that machine but inform the Police. Never accept help or offer help unless you know the person involved.

It you are unfortunate and have property stolen, always cancel your Bank cards even though they may not have been stolen. Thieves quite often carry hand scanners and are able to copy cards quickly.

We hope that you spend a happy and pleasant time in our area and by being aware of the types of crime that can occur here as well as anywhere else in the World, you will not have your visit spoiled.

EMERGENCY TELEPHONE NUMBERS All emergencies (Spanish, English, German and Scandinavian spoken) ..112.

Guardia Civil at Torre de la Horadada (Spanish only spoken) 96 676 9143 Policia Local at Orihuela Costa (Spanish only spoken) 649 900 304

GUARDAMAR STUDENTS GET SECOND CHANCE

KEEP them there, too! Mozzies, I mean. It’s about that time and they will be rampant again, especially after a drop of rain - and we’ll get some soon. Encourage House Martins, GUARDAMAR’S ‘Saturdays in English’ Project has been Geckos etc, wear long trousers and sleeves, and dress in given the ‘green light’ yet again by the Valencian Education pale colours if you are around wetlands!

Authority. The Project which began in October of last year and ended in December was such a success that Authorities have given Guardamar’s students a second bite at the cherry.

Based on a practical learning model of learning through activities, the Course involves some 20 students from the town’s High School who get together every Saturday morning to

improve their knowledge and practice in English. This year’s Course has included cinema in English, interviewing skills, British and Irish cultures, Karaoke in English and learning to dance. The students will also get the opportunity to attend the Royal Wedding (or at least the T.V. coverage). The Project’s Course Tutors have been delighted at the response from all involved in the Project, which comes to an end in May, with a closing ceremony in the town’s new Music School.

MORE TO ‘WATCH’ OUT FOR IN GUARDAMAR GUARDAMAR residents from the Urbanisation el Eden met recently with fellow residents from el Raso to discuss the Neighbourhood Watch scheme (known in Spanish as Vecinos Cooperando). The meeting, held in Guardamar’s Town Hall, was an opportunity to hear, first hand, from current members, how the scheme operates and how it assists both residents and police

in community safety related issues.

The initiative has operated for some time in the town’s el Raso Urbanisation and members have an excellent working relationship with both the local police force and the Guardia Civil. Residents from el Eden hope to develop the idea on their own Urbanisation in an attempt to promote community safety by systematically reporting

incidents and encouraging active citizenship.

Deputy Mayor and Councillor for Police and Safety, Paco Zaragoza, expressed his ongoing support for the scheme’s development and added his words of encouragement to those of the local police forces and to those of Neighbourhood Watch, Spain (the Scheme’s national body).

VOLUNTEERS GET READY FOR THE ‘HOGUERAS’

ELS Milotxes, a group of local people get together every year to plan and build the effigies for the bonfire and celebration of St John, in June. The group relies on the ongoing help of some 6 or 7 additional volunteers from the English speaking community who work tirelessly to make sure that everything is ready and in place for the summer solstice celebrations. Work continues every evening with painting, cutting and drawing - but more importantly ‘integration’ – as both sets of volunteers engage in their ‘Spanglish’ lessons, making their evenings a lot of fun and building friendships.

We look forward to the end result of all of their hard work in June. More information on the events in June and the celebrations can be obtained from the Tourist Office from June onwards. Tel. 96 572 44 88.

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Friday, April 29, 2011

WHY TELEFONICA NO LONGER HAVE MY PRIVATE NUMBER AFTER waiting several years for Telefonica to venture into the comparatively new urbanisation I call home, their eventual arrival was more than overdue.

Now I wish they’d never bothered because my subsequent dealings with the Spanish national telephone service developed into one long, frustrating nightmare. That’s why I pulled the plug on them a few months ago – and reverted to a local provider.

Now I'm 20 euros a month better off and can contact an English-speaking technician at their offices within seconds.

At least I could until last week, when my line suddenly went down and both of the company's office numbers became instantly unobtainable. So by the time you read this, they might well have joined Telefonica down at Donna's Dump.

That might be a good thing anyway, because I can’t call the emergency services via their service – and they stung me for a cool 19 euros for calling the RAC in the UK on an 0845 number.

As for Telefonica, I felt I wasn’t really wanted almost from the start.

OK, the engineer who installed my phone line and internet wireless equipment.was remarkably quick and efficient…even if I did pay through the nose to be connected. And in terms of reliability, I had no complaints about the service. Neither my phone line or ADSL ever let me down.

The friction began when I called their Englishlanguage helpline number, 1004, to request a regular written bill. They either couldn’t or wouldn’t post one out to me and instead offered me online billing. Fair enough, I find internet banking very convenient.

Except that with Telefonica, I simply could not get my user name or password to work, even after they gave me different ones. Consequently, my only way of knowing how much I was being charged was to check my bank statement each month.

My NIE number was also a must every time I called 1004. That's the equivalent of being asked for my passport number by BT at home. What for?

Did they suspect I was a 1004 thief who steals phone-bill queries?

Surely it was enough that I was the subscriber calling from my allocated number (which they could clearly see using their own office technology). To me, they were just being plain bloodyminded.

Even more frustrating was that when I rang to request temporary suspension of my ADSL each time I was away for one month or more (which reduces internet charges by around 75%), the 1004 operator insisted this could only be done by their business department. ‘‘But this is not a business line, it’s a private house,’’ I argued. ‘‘Well, we have it down as a business number,’’ came the reply. ‘’You’ll have to ask the business department if you want it changing to a private one.’’

The punchline is that the business department could not (or more accurately would not) speak English – and the English-speaking operators on 1004 wouldn't do the job on my behalf.

During 18 months as a Telefonica customer, I tried to have the line made private several times, using my far-from-perfect Spanish. I failed miser-

ably every time - and when my umpteenth effort once again elicited the obligatory request for my NIE number (which would have meant going upstairs to look for it), I snapped.

I called 1004 and said I no longer wished to do business with Telefonica and would be instructing my bank to cancel my Direct Debit. The operator showed not the slightest concern at losing a customer. The clear message was, ‘‘If that’s what you want, please yourself. We don’t care.’’

So I wrote off the amount I had paid for the suspended service they didn’t suspend - and instructed the bank not to pay them another cent.

I’m well rid, I thought – and for six months or more I was. Then, out of the blue, I received a demand from a collection agency saying I owed Telefonica 55 euros, to be increased if payment was delayed, and would face legal action if I didn't cough up. .

I toyed with ignoring the demand because I knew I owed them nothing - indeed, they owed ME at least 100 euros. But, knowing I was fighting an unwinnable war on enemy territory, I swallowed my anger and another 55 euros went down the line.

Whether I have now seen the back of Telefonica once and for all I don’t know. What I would say is that if YOU are planning to become a subscriber, do so with caution. Better still, ask a few people who have done business with the company - see how they got on.

Most expats reckon life in Spain is generally much better than in the rapidly deteriorating (in my opinion) UK. Yet I cannot imagine British Telecom treating any customer with such an abysmal ‘couldn’t-care-less’ attitude as the Telefonica people I dealt with.

Was I a victim of my own self-inflicted grumpiness rather that the inflexibility of the 1004 operators? And is Telefonica right for you? That's one for you to call...

DOES IT MAKE ME HAPPY?

I'VE had so many run-ins with the airlines that patrol the skies between the UK and the Costa Blanca that I despaired of ever finding something positive to say about them.

Well, now I have - thanks to a polite call I received last midweek from a softspoken gentleman at Jet2.com ''Good morning, madam,'' he said the refined Asian-sounding voice. ''We sent you an email recently ago to say the flight you booked seats on will be departing one hour and ten minutes later than scheduled,'' he continued. ''We just wanted to check that you received it.'' ''I certainly did.'' ''Well, thank you madam.

I hope you have an enjoyable day.''

Now had the flight been put back, say four or five hours, I would have expected that call. But for an hour and ten minutes?

Now that's what I call thoughtfulness and consideration.

Or should I be complaining that Jet2.com are overspending on unnecessary phone calls? And that they should be using the savings to reduce those astronomical fares in the summer rip-off season when families are fleeced simply because they can only travel during school holidays.

Friday, April 29, 2011

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Friday, April 29, 2011

WHAT THE SPAN

ALL SET FOR A BEANO BLANCO! Spanish Minister pitches million-home bargain sale

DON’T COMPLAIN, IT’S CHEAPER IN SPAIN!

Forget Miami and Brittany - Benidorm is half the price

Benidorm - cheap as chips

By Jake Monroe

Jose Blanco: Government estate agent THE number of ‘Se Vende’ signs all across Spain seems to be increasing every day.

If only the houses would sell, the Spanish economy might get a kick start. Well, top politician and Public Works Minister José Blanco will become an estate agent next week, as he embarks on an international roadshow to persuade investors to buy holiday homes in Spain.

He is to visit Britain first, followed by France, Germany, the Netherlands, Sweden and Russia, in an attempt to help reduce the glut of unsold properties, estimated at one million, left over from the burst real-estate bubble.

At one point Spain was building almost as many homes a year as France, Britain and Germany put together. Today the country is erecting only about 10% of the number of houses that went up at the height of the boom in 2007. And that has sparked a sharp rise in unemployment, which is currently at 20%, more than dou-

ble the average in Europe. Blanco kicks off his marketing tour on May 4 in London.

UK citizens accounted for 31.5% of all houses bought by foreigners in Spain in 2009, but one of the many factors working against Blanco's sales pitch in Britain will be the sharp depreciation of the pound against the euro.

However, according to leading appraiser Tinsa, Spanish house prices have dropped by 19.3% from their peak at the end of 2007. And they have fallen by a lot more on the Mediterranean coast where the glut of unsold homes is particularly high. Spain's banks are also sitting on billions of euros' worth of unsold land and houses acquired as a result of foreclosures or from struggling real-estate developers as a form of loan repayment.

Getting the unsold real-estate assets off their books would help free up more funds for lending and help improve their levels of solvency.

THE news about the Spanish economic crisis may be all doom and gloom, but according to the latest research, you Brits would actually have been better off in Benidorm and Bulgaria this Easter than Brighton or Brittany.

Spain offered best value-for-money for 10 typical holiday items in a table of 14 popular tourist destinations compiled by Post Office Travel Money. While the items, including cigarettes, beer and sun cream, came to just £42.15 in Spain, they were £77.01 in Brighton and as much as £92.81 in Miami, Florida, which was the most expensive destination.

Bulgaria, where the items totalled £43.50, was the second cheapest destination while in Brittany, northern France, the bill rocketed to £81.48. The cost of the items in some of the destinations was higher than last year, with Brighton up by 10 per cent.

A three-course evening meal with house

wine in the Sussex resort, for example, now costs around £45.30 compared with £23.58 in Spain. Corfu in Greece was 10 per cent cheaper than in 2010, with the 10 items now costing £58.87. Turkey was down 13 per cent to £79.58 while Egypt, although comparatively expensive at £78.30, was 12 per cent lower than last year.

Post Office Travel Money head Sarah Munro pointed out: “While Spain is undoubtedly best value overall, the healthy price fall in Greece means that this traditional favourite can once again be considered a good bet for walletwatching holidaymakers.

“In fact, the eastern Med looks a good choice all ways round as prices have fallen significantly in Turkey after 2010’s sharp increases. A combination of the weaker Turkish lira and lower charges by Turkish restaurants and bars have brought prices back to the levels UK holidaymakers came to expect during the noughties.”

Friday, April 29, 2011

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NISH PAPERS SAY

CHE’S MOTORBIKE PARTNER DIES AGED 88

NOW YOU SEAWEED, NOW YOU CALIFORNIA STUDENTS DIG DON’T…BUT JESUS WILL PAY! INTO ANCIENT GUARDAMAR

Kicking up a stink WHEN a tourism councillor is receiving complaints from his constituents that they can’t get to the beach because of seaweed piles three metres high, his initial reaction is naturally to do something about it.

However, when the Coastal authorities tell him that he cannot remove the seaweed because it’s in an area of natural generation, he is torn both ways.

The beaches in La Manga have always accumulated seaweed and posidonia but the coastal authorities have issued strict orders are that it cannot be removed until June 15. They argue that San Javier Town Hall knew about this problem when they

gave the go-ahead for the construction of houses and flats there over 30 years ago.

But as CDL leader for San Javier, Jesus Montesinos, says, he has only been responsible for beaches for the last four years and the problem needed to be resolved. So he decided to defy ‘Costas’ – and last week the seaweed was removed.

So beachgoers will be able to enjoy swimming at La Manga without the unpleasant smell of piles of seaweed. As for Sr. Montesinos, he could face a hefty fine.

We’ll keep you informed as to what Costas has to say to Jesus...

CLIMBER SEARCH HOTS UP

THE search for the body of a British mountaineer who went missing in the Sierra Nevada mountains in February intensified last weekend, as ice and snow began to melt in the warmer spring weather. Members of the climber’s family are hoping the new probe will establish what went wrong on the slopes nears Granada.

A TEAM of American architecture students will once again spend their summer term delving into the history of Guardamar del Segura.

Some 25 students from the California Berkeley University’s Department of Architecture will be participating in the 2011 Architectural Studio from June 6 to July 30.

Last year’s studio focused on the re-use and restoration of Guardamar’s fortress.

Its 2011 counterpart will focus on concepts related to the housing and ‘museumification’ of the unique Phoenician and Islamic site located in the town’s pine forest.

As the University’s instructor and co-ordinator, Professor Alejandro Salazar Jasbon, The pine forest Guardamar

explained: ‘‘The idea this year is not only to develop an academic and theoretical project but also for the student’ work to act as a ‘springboard’ for a real-life future project for the people of Guardamar.

Professor Salazar Jasbon considers the archaeological site ‘‘a public treasure waiting to be rediscovered and dignified’’.

He thanked Guardamar Mayor, Marylène Albentosa Ruso and representatives from Tourism, Culture, Planning and Heritage for their past and continuing support for the Berkeley Summer Studio in Guardamar.

Further information on the studios can be obtained by visiting http:/summer.berkeley.edu/travelstudy/guardamar-de-segura

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Friday, April 29, 2011

FAITH AND HOPE Princess Chloe

CRAMMING FOR SCHOOL EXAMS IF you have a child in Spanish school, even if they are still in Primary, the chances are that they will be tested regularly to confirm their understanding of each of their main subjects. International schools also undertake their fair share of testing and once children hit their teens, learning how to study and sit exams is a crucial skill that has to be mastered to maximise the chances of success. Helping children to study in a structured way is one of the best presents you can give your child to help secure their future.

Faith`s op is over and she is now recovering THIS amazing and heart warming picture of Faith, taken 15 minutes after coming round from her five-hour operation shows the incredible moment when she stood up on her temporary artificial limb. It also demonstrates why every effort is being made to give Faith a chance to live due to the little horse’s fighting spirit and love of life which is clearly evident in the photo.

Faith is doing really well since the operation to amputate her lower leg by specialist horse vet Casper Castelijns in Barcelona.

Her temporary cast was taken off by surgeons last Monday to check the healing process and all looked to be recovering well.

A different type of cast has now been put on Faith’s leg, which is to be kept on throughout the day and removed at night so that a careful eye can be kept on Faith to ensure her stump is recovering as it should. When the swelling has gone down and it has healed up totally a mould of her stump will be taken to make her own, made-to- measure prosthetic limb. Each limb costs in the region of 1000 euros.

Gaspar Casteljns and his team of surgeons

are hopeful that they can eliminate any problems that may occur when making the prosthetic limb as the majority of a horse’s weight is carried on its front legs, therefore every effort is made when making and fitting the limb to hopefully avoid pressure points which in turn can cause ulcers. In this regard they are in close contact with Rustin Moore, a Specialist Equine Prosthetic Surgeon who made Molly the Pony’s artificial limb.

Molly like Faith suffered an horrendous injury to her front leg. Several attempts were made to fit Molly with the correct prosthetic limb. Five years down the line Molly has become something of an ambassador in America.

Everyone involved at the Rescue Centre is waiting with baited breath hoping that Faith continues to do well. We would like to thank all our supporters who have made this operation possible and given Faith a chance at life. Further updates will be given as they unfold.

You can sponsor Faith or make a donation on our website or alternatively please telephone Sue at the Centre on 652 021 980.

into smaller sections so that it seems more manageable.

• Impose pressure: Arrange for someone to test you on a set date so that you are working towards a self-imposed deadline.

• Take a Break: remember that you can only concentrate for a short period of time so make sure that you take regular breaks.

Don´t be tempted to watch TV in your break though as you will get side tracked and not go back to your studies.

Getting motivated. We all know that leaving studying to the last minute as a recipe for disaster but it is also difficult to get motivated when the exam is so far away.

Sticking to a regular study timetable is vital but here are a few additional hints and tips to try to keep motivated:

Exam Skills: Taking exams is an important skill in its own right and of course, practice makes perfect! Make sure your tutor provides you with some past papers so you can practice working in exam conditions.

• Good preparation is key. Make sure that you have all of the items that you need for the exam such as pens, pencils, ruler etc.

Take a spare pen just in case the first one runs out and have some with black and blue ink just in case the exam paper specifies a set colour. If you are allowed to take a calculator in the exam, make sure it has a full set of batteries.

• Read all of the instructions on the front of the paper before you start and ensure that you follow them.

• When you are allowed to turn over the paper, make sure that you read all of the questions before you start writing. Read the question a second time and check that you understand exactly what is required.

• If the question paper tells you how many marks are being awarded for each question, it might be a good idea to start by answering the questions which carry the most marks to maximise your chances of a good grade.

• Check the clock at regular intervals to ensure that you have enough time left to complete the paper and pace yourself so you are not rushing at the end. The number of marks for each question might provide an indication for how long you should be working on it.

• If you don´t know the answer to a question straight away, don´t panic. Leave it and come back to it at the end. Make sure you write something. Even if you are mistaken, at least you have tried and it may be that you have answered correctly without even realising it.

• Never use correcting fluids in exams. If you have made a mistake, neatly put a cross through it and write your answer again.

• If you are working on a paper that requires you to work things out, such as maths or physics, make sure that you show all of your calculations. Sometimes demonstrating how you arrived at the answer is just as important as the answer itself.

• Reward yourself: Set achievable milestones and give your self a reward when you reach them.

• Get a Study Buddy: Arrange for someone else to hold you accountable. Someone who can nag you if you don´t achieve your goals!

• Chunk it Down: Break up large subjects

Exams are not designed to catch students out but simply to find out what they know, what they understand and what they can do.

Although it can feel like a very heavy burden, it is only a short time to sacrifice for long term gain so once those exams are over, make sure you relax. Whatever, the results, you have worked hard and should celebrate!

How did the telephones get married?

In a double ring ceremony!

Why did the child study in the aeroplane?

He wanted a higher education !

Why was the broom late?

It over swept!

Do you know the time?

No, we haven't met yet!

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy!

What runs but never walks?

Water!

How do you make milk shake?

Give it a good scare!

What’s red and flies and wobbles at the same time?

A jelly copter!

Waiter, this soup tastes funny Then why aren't you laughing?

Why did the clock get sick?

It was run down!

Planning your Time. When studying for several exams all at the same time it is a good idea to put together a realistic study timetable. Look at your free time with a critical eye, add in any after school activities and commitments and then dedicate time to all of the subjects for which you have to study. Although it is tempting to spend more time on the subjects you enjoy, the ones that you dislike are more likely to require your undivided attention, so ensure you dedicate proportionate amounts of time to each area.

See it, read it, hear it, write it. When you are simply reading through old notes, you can sometimes find you have read through several pages and your brain has wandered off and you have not taken in a solitary word that you have read. In order to keep yourself on task, read the words out loud and write notes. This reinforces what you are learning as you are engaging most of your senses: you are seeing the words, hearing the words, speaking the words and writing the words. This will help to keep you focused and ensure that you are taking everything in.

Write revision prompts to cover certain facts that have to be learnt by heart and refer to them often.

Examination Questions. Sometimes, simply reading through your old notes will not be enough. You also need to practise the skills required in the exam. This could be writing an essay, doing a précis, playing an instrument or listening to a modern foreign language and answering questions.

Ask your teacher if you can have some past test papers so that you can practice the skills required at home under timed conditions.

Jokes

Friday, April 29, 2011

KIDDIES CORNER

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CELEBRATE EARTH DAY

LAST week on April 22, it was World Earth Day. The organisers were encouraging everyone to do one green act on the day, such as plant a tree or recycle something. Some celebrated by starting a new Earthfriendly habit and spreading the word! The more people who treat the Earth well, the safer and happier all its inhabitants will be.

It’s easy to protect the planet! These tips help save limited resources such as water, energy, and animals; prevent landfill waste; or decrease harmful gases, such as CO2, which contribute to global warming. So get green and give the tips a try. Make sure to ask your parents before trying any of these tips!

Tips

Recycle and Reuse Find a recycling centre near you and you carry the empty bottles, cans and boxes there.

Choose rechargeable batteries, then recycle them when they die.

You'd have to use hundreds of single-use batteries to equal the energy you'd get out of one rechargable battery. Be sure to recycle all batteries to keep harmful metals from entering the environment.

The next time you have the impulse to buy a new book to read, borrow it from the library or a friend instead of buying a new copy. Sharing books is a great way to reduce waste and reuse materials.

When you drink bottled water, reuse the

bottle before recycling it.

Buy toys that last.

Toys are made, directly or indirectly, from natural resources. Choose toys that won't break easily so you aren't always buying more stuff or creating more trash.

Improve the Outdoors Plant a deciduous (leafy) tree that loses its leaves in autumn on the

ANIMAL QUIZ HOW MUCH DO YOU REALLY KNOW ABOUT ANIMALS? 1. What food makes up nearly all (around 99%) of a Giant Panda’s diet?

2. True or false? Mice live for up to 10 years.

3. What is the name of the phobia that involves an abnormal fear of spiders?

4. What is the largest type of ‘big cat’ in the world?

5. True or false?

Crocodiles have no sweat glands so they use their mouths to release heat.

6. Eagles are very good at spotting potential prey from a long distance, why?

7. What are female elephants called?

8. True or false? Owls can turn their heads completely backwards, allowing a 360 degree view.

9. Bees are found on every continent of earth except for one. Which is it?

10. True or false? Cats spend an average of 13 to 14 hours a day sleeping.

11. What is the fastest land animal in the world?

12. A ‘doe’ is what kind of animal?

13. True or false?

Cougars are herbivores.

14. Groups of lions are known as what?

15. Is a dolphin a mammal?

16. What is the largest land animal in the world?

17. True of false?

Snakes have slimy skin.

18. What is the only continent on earth where giraffes live in the wild?

19. How many pairs of wings does a bee have?

20. What type of animal is the largest primate in the world? goats called?

Animal Quiz Answers 1. Bamboo 2. False - Captive mice live for up to two-and-ahalf years while wild mice only live for an

average of around four months.

3. Arachnophobia 4. The tiger, weighing up to 300 kilograms (660 pounds).

5. True - They often sleep with their mouth open to cool down.

6. Because they have excellent eyesight.

7. Cows 8. False - Their field of view is about 270 degrees.

9. Antarctica 10. True 11. The cheetah (it can reach speeds of up to 120kph – 75mph).

12. A female deer.

13. False - They are carnivores.

14. Prides 15. Yes 16. The elephant - The largest on record weighed around 12,000 kilograms! (26,000 lb).

17. False - Snakeskin is smooth and dry.

18. Africa 19. 2 20. The Gorilla

south side of your home. Its shade will cool your house in the summer. After the tree’s leaves fall, sunlight will help warm your house in winter. Trees help clean the air we breathe. They produce oxygen and reduce carbon dioxide.

Participate in cleanup days at a beach or park.

Use those outdoor trash cans! Never litter. Keep our waterways clean.

When you visit a park or

beach, be sure you deposit your trash in containers and volunteer at some state and national cleanups.

Don't kill that spider!

There are an estimated 40,000 species of spiders, and they all eat insects. They're an important part of the food web and provide natural pest control.

Safeguard storm drains. Don't litter. Trash tossed carelessly outside often washes into storm drains, which empty into rivers and streams that eventually flow to the oceans.

Pollution is a growing problem for all the Earth's ocean and its wildlife.

Don't ditch your pet. If you can't keep your pet, find it a new home, return it to the store where you bought it, or

give it to an animal shelter.

Or “adopt” an endangered animal through a charity.

Cut Down on Waste Ban all drips. If you have a dripping tap in the house, ask your parents to replace the washer inside it. If you stop a tap from leaking one drop each second, you can save 2,700 gallons of water a year.

Don't pile your plate.

"When's dinner?" you want to know. You're starving after a long day at school! Even so, restrain yourself and take only what you know you'll really be able to eat. Enough edible food to feed 49 million people ends up in landfills in the United States each year.

Spread the Word

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Friday, April 29, 2011

Friday, April 29, 2011

21

WHAT’S THE STORY?

ANGIE and Mac the owners of Aquarius fish and chips started working in the food industry back in the UK where they ran their own catering company. After selling up and deciding to retire early they moved to Spain, but their plans soon change when they came across a restaurant with great potential and decided to stay involved in the industry by opening up their own Bar/Restaurant called Aquarius which is at the Carabasi centre in Gran Alacant.

So, come on what are your plans?

Well, our aim is to give all a friendly welcome and provide the best service and food possible and after asking our customers what we could do for them, we installed WIFI access and printing facilities as well a TV. As Aquarius is located within a stone's throw from the nature reserve we are installing a new telescope that is soon to be fitted to the terrace so you and the kids will be able to enjoy the mountain views, wildlife and watch the plane's tacking off in the distance.

after only 12 weeks of business.

We were the first to introduce a Sunday Carvery and it is now well established and arguably the best value for money Sunday roast in the area at only 6.95 with a choice of 3 meats.

Sounds good, anything else I should know?

Well‌we also offer a basket food service for our neighbouring bars Oceans 11 and The cork and bottle that we have an arrangement with to provide food to their customers, with a table service so you don't have to miss the footy So what's your secret?

We look to improve and try new ideas that haven't been tried before. As a business owner you should not be afraid to invest in your customers' faith in you, look to try out new things but try to be original and not duplicate or jump onto the competitors' bandwagon.

We are very proud of our reputation here and have customers that come to us from Santa Pola and even Alicante just for our fish and homemade chips. But we don't just do fish and chips we have expanded our menu to include all the favourites, like curries, chillies and Cajun chicken plus vegetarian and children's menu.

I hear that there’s something new for May...?

Yes, starting in May we will be offering an all you can eat self-service breakfast buffet including a drink including a drink for only 5.00 euros and 2.50 for kids, and let's not forget that Aquarius was voted runner up for best breakfast

And lastly, any new ideas for the summer....?

We have found that the main complaint for a lot of locals and tourists is that it is impossible to get anything to eat after 11pm. So as of this May Aquarius will be providing an alfresco bar on their terrace to supply all our munchy needs with 100% Irish beef burgers with onions or large hot dogs cooked fresh to order.

Aquarius is on the train route that runs around Gran Alacant, just ask for the Carabasi stop and you'll find them upstairs.

As the owners of Aquarius, which was nominated for best restaurant award, will tell you, their success is not down to just one person or factor, but a good solid team of loyal, hardworking staff members who are the backbone of the business, Angie and Mac would like to thank them for all their hard work and dedication.

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Friday, April 29, 2011

FOREIGNERS TO MAKE DIFFERENCE IN LOCAL ELECTIONS

By Sally Bengtsson

The province of Valencia is the Spanish province with the highest number of Bulgarians registered to vote in the local elections on May 22nd, with 3,757 on the padrón. Castellon has the highest number of Rumanians, 11,483, and Alicante has the highest number of British voters, with 39,313 to receive a ballot card in the post.

In the whole of the Comunitat Valenciana there are a total of 117,087 foreign voters, made up of EU citizens, Norwegians, Peruvians, Bolivians and Columbians, whose countries all have reciprocal agreements with Spain. Of these 117,087, 77,827 live in the Alicante province.

After the Brits and Rumanians follow Germans, French, Dutch, Bulgarians and Italians in number. However, two citizens from Cyprus have also asked to be able to vote, as have two citizens from Iceland, two from Malta and six from New Zealand.

Voters collect their ballot papers in Barcelona

GT Autos Los Dolses Trade Prices to the public

TIM and Yvonne are very proud of their achievement at G T AUTOS. One thing for sure is they like to keep their prices low and affordable, and believe in customer care, therefore all their customers go away happy.

The couple have been in the car trade a very long time back in England and here on the Costa Blanca and having experience in the trade has proved invaluable in giving the customer what they want. For example, all their cars are marked up with prices which include all relevant paperwork and transfers.

And all vehicles are serviced and valeted before leaving the premises.

As part of the comprehensive package available from GT Autos they have a wide variety of services which include a fully equipped mechanics workshop for servicing, repairs, itv,s, A/C ,diagnostics – in fact, you name it they do it.

They also provide a valeting service on the premises Janes car wash provides a brilliant service from a simple car wash to a full valet.

They also offer a breakdown service and the facility to take all major credit cards and as I said before, but it’s worth repeating, the staff are all very friendly and polite to all their customers, even me!

But don’t just take my word for it, the guys tell me that anyone can go in at their leisure

and have a browse under no obligation at all.

The secretary, Paola, I found to be very helpful in Spanish and in fluent English. She’s the one who will deal with all the paperwork if you need transfers, reregistration of vehicle from English to Spanish or something else. If you’re not sure just ask her, I did.

Spencer is in charge of the smooth running of the garage and workshop, with the mechanics Rob and Ryan, and of course Spencer - Head Mechanic, who puts his hand into everything from running the workshop to car sales and any enquiries. That’s not forgetting Will who is always there and keeps all the cars spotlessly clean and is another one I found to be very helpful.

Yvonne and Tim’s son and daughter in law Keith and Lorraine have recently moved premises from Elche to the Lemon Tree Rd Guardamar and their garage, Car R Us, has the same prices as GT Autos and they too like to keep everyone happy (Keith has been in the trade for a very long time) so if GT Autos haven’t got what you are looking for they may have.

If you want to sell your car Call Tim on 66 22 11 995, Office Paola 966 448 537 Spencer 672 532 758 janes carwash 678 949 004 Collection and delivery available too!

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Friday, April 29, 2011

RICHARD CAVENDER

Bluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computer services at realistic prices and specialise in working with home users and small businesses.

Richard moved to Spain four years ago having left his management background behind in the UK and decided to use his IT skills to help home users and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is out and about in the Spanish sun every day, making house and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort out the problem there and then.

Computers are his hobby as well as his work so don’t be surprised to get an answer to your email in the early hours!

Why Are Backups Important And What Do I Need?

I am regularly asked about how to take backups, I guess it's something that we all know we should do but it's one of those things that we never really get around to doing. The long and the short of it is if you don't have your important data in two or more places then you don't really have it at all. I'm not scared mongering here, it's not unusual for computer hard drives to simply fail, for them to become corrupted or infected by a virus or for a computer to be stolen. Now, while I would wish this on none of you, I do see it happening to people up and down the Costa on a daily basis and most of them unfortunately have not taken the time to do a backup.

There are several methods through which you can easily protect your important data by backing it up, you can copy it to a CD or DVD (although a single disk will likely not hold all of your data if you have more than a modest picture or music collection).

A better and more flexible solution would be to buy one, or more, memory sticks (these are pretty cheap now with a 16Gb (equal to around 23 cd's) stick at less than 40 euros.

Once you have copied your important information onto the stick you could put it away in the safe or some other protected place for safe keeping. If a memory stick is not large enough then the next best thing would be to back up onto an external hard drive, this will set you back around 100 works and should be more than sufficient in terms of storage for anything that you need to back up.

Of course the downside to all of these methods of backups are that they rely on you, the fallible human, to take the decision to actually perform the backup and the law of sod states that this decision will be made the day AFTER your computer and all it's precious data has died!

So that brings us onto automated backups, this is something that BlueMoon offer their business customers as a fully automated and monitored solution, but for most of us non-business types, some sort of online solution is sufficient and there are loads of options available at the end of a google search, most of them, like www.dropbox.com offer a free amount of storage with the option to upgrade for a modest monthly fee, dropbox in particular I like because it synchronises your backed up data with all of your online devices (mine is copied from my PC to my laptop, my iPhone and my iPad, just for good measure and even if I were deprived of all of these devices it would still be available online at their website!)

So, don't delay, use this weekend to ensure that your data is protected and save yourself from losing those precious photo's that you would never get back again if the

Read Richard’s fantastic computer page only in Jungle Drums Magazine.

OUT NOW worst were to happen!

office@bluemoonsolutions.es www.bluemoonsolutions.es Mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

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Friday, 29th April, 2011

GO GREEK!

Salad days with tzatziki and yoghurt Greek Salad

Tzatziki

FLAVOURS of the world unite! Well, they do on these pages anyway and this week we’re going to ancient Greece - a world without Olivia Newton-John but still with plenty to offer even if it’s not wearing black skin-tight trousers! (That was Grease, stupid! – Ed)

SALADS Greek salads, commonly found in traditional Greek meals, are gaining popularity over global palates today. Their refreshing quality and simplicity in preparation have given Greek salads a special place on dinner tables. They go great with meat main courses and if pasta is added to the salad they even turn out to be great main courses. The different dressings used to adorn the fresh vegetables are the ones which give the Greek salads their identity. Greek salad dressings usually have a common base of ingredients like vinegar or lemon juice, dried oregano, olive oil and salt. Additions like yogurt, dill, thyme, basil, mint, cheese, cream, etc. are also used in combination with the basic ingredients.

TZATZIKI Tzatziki is one unique dish which can be served as an appetiser and also as a sauce.

It is mainly made of yogurt and cucumber.

The yogurt used to make tzatziki is strained, which is why the dish does not get too watery. However, different variations of tzatziki are now made. The dish is always served cold, generally as a part of the first course with bread or vegetables. Tzatziki also tastes great with pita chips also. The following are different Greek tzatziki recipes, each of them having a unique taste despite containing the same main ingredients.

YOGURT Yogurt is derived from the Turkish word yoğurt, and has been consumed for more than 5000 years. According to ancient Greek doctors, it is a valuable medicine with many healing properties. In the fifth century, Greek historian Herodotus of Halicarnassus men-

tioned yogurt extensively in his writings for its intestine-cleansing effect and laxative properties. Yogurt is made using live microorganisms (cultures), and has the ability to alter the environment in which they breed.

When a spoonful of yogurt is added to milk, the cultures present in the yogurt transform the lactose into lactic acid, giving the milk a thick, creamy texture and a sour taste. Try them out for yourselves with these authentic Greek recipes:

Tzatziki Ingredients •1 English cucumber, peeled, grated on a box grater, salted lightly for five minutes and squeezed between hands •1 tbs minced fresh dill •1 pint sour cream (or Greek-style super thick yogurt) •⅓ cup olive oil •1 tbs red wine vinegar •3 garlic cloves, mashed •Salt

Process Take a large bowl and add all the ingredients to it. Mix well, until the oil has blended well in the yogurt. Add more salt if you wish, and then add it to a resealable container or resealable bag. Refrigerate the mixture for at least 2-3 hours, so that the flavours come out. Serve Tzatziki with baked pita or fried eggplant slices. Isn't it an easy Tzatziki recipe? Read more on Tzatziki sauce recipe.

Or how about a Classic Style Greek Dressing?

Ingredients •1½ tsp crushed Greek oregano •2 tbsp dried dill •¼ cup red wine vinegar •¾ cup olive oil •Salt and pepper to taste

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Friday, 29th April, 2011

Preparation Procedure: Preparing this dressing is very simple. Just put the oregano, red wine vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper into a bowl. Whisk the ingredients together, making sure they are mixed well. Or you could even put all the ingredients into a bottle with a lid and then shake away. This salad dressing goes perfectly with shredded lettuce and finely chopped spring onion.

Or even a Greek Cheese Dressing?

Ingredients •1 garlic clove •1 tsp dried oregano •3 tbsp. red wine vinegar •6 tbsp extra virgin olive oil •3 tbsp plain yogurt •¼ cup of diced red onion •½ cup crumbled Feta Cheese (Mediterranean style)

Preparation Procedure Process the cheese, red wine vinegar, garlic, oregano, yogurt and olive oil in a food processor till a smooth consistency is obtained. After transferring the smooth mixture into a bowl, add the chopped red onions and then refrigerate for half an hour. The dressing goes perfectly with a

salad of pasta, cucumber, tomatoes, spinach, peppers and black pitted olives.

Greek yogurt

How to Make Homemade Greek Yogurt Greek yogurt is very different from regular yogurt made at home or available in the market. As it is traditionally made with cow's milk or goat's milk, it is thicker than usual yogurt. It is creamier and thicker because the milk contains 9 to 10% more milk fat than other milk. The higher fat content and the process of straining is what separates the making of Greek yogurt significantly different from others. How to make Greek yogurt at home? Well, just apply the following directions.

Ingredients •whole milk, 1 litre •yogurt, 3 tbsps.

Materials required •large non-stick saucepan •2 medium-sized glass or earthen bowls •tablespoon •wooden ladle •plastic or a metal strainer •cheesecloth or muslin •cloth napkin

Preparation Warm the milk in a saucepan, over medium heat. When you notice

steam coming out of the milk, remove from heat, don’t let it boil. Pour the milk into a glass or earthenware bowl - avoid using steel bowls. Set aside the milk to cool down, until just lukewarm. To check the milk's temperature, feel the sides of the bowl with your

hands. Add 3 tablespoons of yogurt and stir to blend well. Cover with a cloth napkin, and leave overnight or for 12 hours to ferment. Don't move it until it is fermented.

After 12 hours, the yogurt will look like white, thick

custard. Place the cheesecloth or muslin cloth into the strainer, and put a glass bowl underneath.

Using the ladle, spoon the yogurt into the cloth and strain all the whey, until it reaches desired consistency. The straining process will take several hours, so

it's best to transfer the yogurt along with the strainer into the fridge. This straining process in the fridge will make the yogurt thicker and creamier.

Never strain for more than eight to 10 hours – any longer will turn the yogurt into cheese.

GET STUCK IN At Rojales Steakhouse

HEADING down into the picturesque town of Rojales I discovered Rojales Steakhouse which was formally known as Tyler’s Bar and has been taken over. It was re-opened in February 2011 by partners Mark and Mike changing it to the more descriptive ‘Rojales Steakhouse’ and just like any decent tin of wood varnish, Rojales Steakhouse does exactly what it says on the tin - serve top quality steaks. And as with any restaurant worth its salt, the Steakhouse also has a large menu to choose from.

Situated in Avenida Vega Baja, Central Rojales, near to the town hall, Rojales Steakhouse provides regular top quality Saturday night entertainment and shows all SKY sports on the TV. With a pool table soon to be installed and monthly music events in the restaurant. The Rojales Steakhouse has now got something to offer everyone looking for a good time,

gang from Rojales Steakhouse, or call down any evening and try one of their delicious steaks, plenty to eat and a warm welcome to go with the grub. Rojales Steakhouse satisfied me as I’m sure it will you but don’t just take my word for it – go along and try one of those steaks, tasty, very, very tasty…

Don’t forget…

The Royal Wedding celebrations are being held in Rojales Market Place on 29 April and the mayor will officially open the event in the afternoon. The event starts at 11am until midnight, with games and competitions for old and young.

Some of these include Wine Tasting, Children's Tea Party, Penalty Shoot Out, Story Time, International Food, Human Fruit Machine, Live Music and Dancing and there will also be over 100 market stalls.

especially if they are hungry! A self-contained function room is also available to hire, and it’s free of charge for private functions, and it boasts its own private bar and stage.

For the royal events of today, Rojales Steakhouse are running a bar concession at the Royal Wedding celebrations being held in Rojales which has been organised by Paul Cunningham Nurses.

Pop along and join in the celebrations, and say hi to the

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Friday, April 29, 2011

A-Z of businesses, trades and services on the Costa

A

AIR CON

Kool Klimate Air Conditioning & Refrigeration Air Conditioning and Pool Heating Specialists based in Orihuela Costa offering a full range of Air Conditioning & Pool Heating Servicing and Installations.

Professional and legal, Kool Klimate Fit Quality Air con machines with full warranty backed by Europe’s leading Air Conditioning manufactures with over 30 years’ experience we offer the highest standards of workmanship. info@koolklimate.com or Phone (+34) 652 229 211

B

BHS

BHS is a family business run by Bob and Dave and have been in business for 9 years here on the Costa they carry out Central Heating, install gas and electric Water Heaters, general plumbing, drain clearing. tiling and electrical work they offer a 24 hour call out and all their work carries a guarantee.

C

CENTRO OPTICA

Centro Optica in Gran Alacant and Santa Pola has been looking after expats and their eyes and ears for a long time now. With the latest ranges of frames and always great deals Centro Optica are always looking to help the customer. Call inn and try our friendly service.

D

DIY

Established in Gran Alacant for 7 years The number 1 Do It Yourself store for service and advice . At Suzie Screws you can buy anything from a single screw to air conditioning units. Key cutting, engraving, ladder and small tool hire is also available. Mobility scooter hire and sales – if we don’t have it we will do our best to get it for you.

E

ESTATE AGENCY

The Real Estate Agency is the Spanish division of Fastighetsbyrån, which is the leading real estate agency in Sweden and now the leading Swedish agent in the Spanish market here on Costa Blanca. We have offices in Gran Alacant, Torrevieja and Orihuela Costa. Come by our offices and see us.

F G

FLAMENCO BAR

Come along and enjoy an evening of authentic flamenco and traditional spannish food. Fridays and Saturdays every week we have a show from some of the best dancers in the region but be warned – you will need to book at least three days ahead.

GOLD WANTED

Peter has been in the jewellery trade since 1965 and as 2 shops in the UK which are now run by a family member. He is completely mobile so you can arrange a home visit or you can arrange to meet at any venue of your choice. The best price can be given for Gold and Silver as Peter has low overheads this enables him to do so. References can be supplied if required, to make an appointment Telephone Peter on 664 890 990

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HELADERIA

La Cesta Panaderia, cafeteria, ice cream shop, cake shop.

In our shop you will find home made fresh bread, cakes, salads, ice creams of the highest quality (all homemade) slushy puppy’s etc... We invite you to come and enjoy our continental breakfast, a mixed lunch or small dinners.

Alcoholic drinks are also available.

Catering service available for celebrations (come and ask us)

I

INMOBILIARIA

VIVA, Villa and Vacation Services VIVA for all your property requirements from sales, holiday rentals, long-term rentals and property management, we cover all aspects of the property business in and around Torrevieja and the surrounding areas, whether you are an owner or a buyer, please get in touch. Please take a look at our website on www.villaandvacation.com. 965 707 188

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JUST FOR MUSIC

TKO Media Group Tune in to the Costa Blanca's Number One Radio Station - TKO FM for the most up-to-date music from Rock and Soul and Electronica to Modern chill-out music and everything in between. Or for hours of "feel good" tunes across the decades tune in to TKO GOLD for all your favourite Golden Oldies. The perfect way to get you through your busy day, whether at work or play - 2 out of 3 local radio listeners choose TKO! Visit www.tkofm.com.

966 720 151

K

KENNELS

FAB luxury cattery When your cat comes to stay with us at our luxury cattery and cat hotel we will treat them like a VIP. FAB Cattery is fully alarmed for your cat's protection ad offers holidays for cats in large rooms with indoor and outdoor living spaces. The cat hotel is fully air conditioned ad offers individual attention, including diets, medicine, and walks and grooming.

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LA TOMATA

Pizzas Take Away All our products are fresh and cooked instantly.

The dough is made daily to have the best taste and our speciality, the lasagne, cooked in the oven for traditional style, “cocota” served in a large dish covered, and the best homemade lasagne you have ever tasted

M

MANAGEMENT AND RENTAL SERVICES

• Established 2003 • 5 area offices • Personal and professional service • Property Promotion on a number of web sites • Weekly inspections • Cleaning • Maintenance • Other services upon request Offices at Catral, Villa Martin, Cabo Roig, Playa Flamenca, Punta Prima.

See main web site at www.propertyhounds.com for local contact details

Friday, April 29, 2011

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NO MORE LEAKS

No more leaks can be offered by Maxi Pool. An inch of water lost in a pool is an unbelievable 2000 litres of water. WE CAN STOP THIS! We can offer leak detection, pipe pressure testing, pump repair/replacement, fan changes, new filters, regrout retiling and acid cleaning, also structural leaks investigated.

We do all the work from start to finish if required - Just call 652 483 528

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OPORTUNITY!

To take over a busy cafeteria in Gran Alacant.

Well-established and popular among expats and Spanish locals it is in a great position and ready to continue trading straight away under the new owners with help from the present owner if needed.

Call 670 096 309 for more info.

P

PARADISE SPAS & SPA TECH

Has been established San Miguel 8 years, supplying American Hot Tubs plus repairs to all makes of Spas. Paradise is a family Business offering American Hot Tubs from 4500€ and reconditioned Tubs from 2000€.

Other service includes, Repairs and Service, New Covers, Crane Service, Water Treatment Products ad they also buy Hot Tubs. Tel. 966 723 859 – 666630869

Q R

QUESTIONS Got any questions?. Ask us here at The Courier.

Call on 966 72 64 37 or email office@thecourier.es

RENTALS

Cycle rental in the pretty seaside port of Santa Pola.

Bicimotos Paquito has sales and rentals of bicycles with an extensive range of accessories and clothing for all levels of cyclists.

Also number one for motorbikes and scooters in our two shops.

Find us at: C/Elche 28, C/Soleda 1- SANTA POLA – Tel. 96 541 4528

S

SKIPPER MARINE

For boat sales and rentals the best inn the business is Skipper Marine at Santa Pola with a huge range to suit all budgets. Pop along their shop on the sports port in Santa Pola and check out their range of nautical footwear while enjoying a café from their cafeteria.

T

ASTUR HOUSE Next to B.B.V.A bank Gran Alacant Special offer on Budweiser one euro!

From 8pm and the weekends mixed drinks are only 2.50€ (Sobrano, DYC, Negrita, Larios)

U

UNO’S

UNO`S YOUR EX-CHAINSTORE OUTLET. Our two shops hold large stocks of quality ladies clothing with new stock arriving every five weeks, so come on down and meet Glen and the staff, and grab yourself a bargain!

You will not be disappointed, for enquires ring 606 926 437

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VEHICLE REGISTRATION

Spanish Number Plates Over 750 vehicles reregistered and legally registered in Spain we also work alongside a specialist motoring lawyer. We can undertake the entire process of reregistration with the minimum of inconvenience.

All registration documents and number plates are provided within a week, but from the moment of inspection, you are legal in Spain.

Contact us at: (0034) 966753375 - info@spanish-numberplates.com

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WANTED CARS FOR CASH

GT AUTOS all cars are marked up with prices so you know what you can afford, or DOES your car need a buff or a complete clear out, James’ car wash provides a brilliant service from a simple car wash to a full valet. They also offer a breakdown service and the facility to take all major credit cards If you want to sell your car Call Tim on 66 22 11 995, Office Paola 966448537 - Collection and delivery available too!

X

XTRA CAR RENTAL

Family run business offering that personal service and quality. We can meet you at Alicante Airport or deliver to your holiday home. No hidden extras! IE.. fuel, insurance, out of hours charge, baby seats / boosters and roof racks.The price we quote is the Total price you pay.. WE ALWAYS HAVE CARS FOR SALE. Please ring Paul for details.

Y

YOUR PROPERTY NEEDS

G.A Properties Your property needs fulfilled by Gran Alacant Property Needs. We go that extra mile to sell your house, or get the house you want at the price you want. With years of experience selling houses in Gran Alacant and low commission rates we would love the opportunity to sell your house or help purchase that dream property.

Z

ZAP-CATS! Come and enjoy the fun of skimming over waves at more than 60kph and pulling more than 2 g's in the corners.

Coming soon to Santa Pola a brand new experi-

ence.

For more information contact Barry on: 966 76 77 27

BAR 4 SALE Local Spanish & English Bar Well Known 100,000€ Call 679 096 309

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Friday, April 29, 2011

editor@thecourier.es Say it. Send it. Phone it. Mail it. or Forget it!

FREE SPEECH COSTS…

these religious fanatics wereever they are to intimidate us with these outrageous acts of violence every time they hear something they don’t like being said against their religion. I am an atheist and am very tolerant with religious people and their views. In the bible it speaks of love hundreds of times and does not speak of hatred of other religions.

The Koran never uses the word love, but preaches hatred of non-believers.

YOU TELL HIM

John La Zenia Tony Mayes replies…

To the editor, After reading Tony Mayes article 8/4/11. I am compelled to open this debate wider. My father, grandfather and my great grandfather fought in two world wars along with many young people who gave up their lives to protect our freedom against tyranny and oppression, which includes free speech.

This value, is part of the British way of life and we are proud of it, to be able to speak out and not to be intimidated .Only this week our prime minister made a statement saying "this country does not want mass immigration but productive immigration" he was immediately condemned by one of his ministers saying his statement would offend ethnic and religious groups and could insight unrest. Tony Mayes called this preacher a crazy clergyman but all he was doing was making a statement of his beliefs. In my opinion all that he did wrong was to add to the air pollution.

The label crazy should go to the ones that killed Innocent people in response to this futile act of the burning of this book, the other side of the world. We should not allow

John, I described the American clergyman who burned a copy of the Koran "crazy" simply because he must have realised the consequence of his actions, knowing how extreme and intolerant some Muslims are in parts of the world. When a clergyman acts in a way as to inflame a situation, it's crazy.

I did not think I had to spell out my feelings about the massacre of innocent victims in the hands of Muslim extremists.

The majority of Muslims are tolerant and I suggest abhor the actions of extremists just as much as we do. I would agree with you that in the past Britain has gone far too far in tip-toeing around problems so as not to upset people of faiths other than Christians, but I don't think you are right in saying it's the Koran which encourages hatred of other religions, it, like the Bible, encourages believers to go out and convert.

It's the way that people try to convert others that causes the problems.

Perhaps, John, it all comes down to man's inhumanity to man.

Tony Mayes

To Tony Mayes, ROLL UP, ROLL UP, for CAMERONS big cash give away!

Perhaps if you sent this letter (below) to the prime minister, it might help him get things right, hope you have space in your paper to show everybody how England should be run!

Allan & Pauline @ Rafal Dear Mr Cameron, Please find below our suggestion for fixing England’s economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks

that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan: There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations: 1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed 2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed 4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed 5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week..... And there's your money back in duty/tax etc.

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy buggers to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.

Or…you could send it…? ED.

CDL SAN JAVIER INVITATION

YOU are invited to the presentation of CDL candidates in the Principe de Asturias building, (next to tourist information) in Santiago de la Ribera, on Thursday May 5th at 9pm. Everyone is welcome. There will free wine, beer and snacks. Come along to see why everyone is talking about the CDL Party and bring along your questions and suggestions.

See you there.

STILL ON THE PULL? THE COURIER PUB & GRUB AWARDS 2011 We want to know because in August we will be holding The Courier pub & Grub awards for the region and we need you the reader to nominate your local…but only if they deserve it of course.

The six categories are: Bar of the year Barman/woman of the year Landlord/lady of the year

Best Value for money bar Best brekky Tastiest grub/Chef of the year We’ll be accepting nominations from now until the first of July and then our judges (who will have assessed each of the nominations) will announce the final five nominees in each category and invite them to attend the very first Courier Pub & Grub Awards.

The winners on the night will get a trophy, a prize and a load of publicity plus the right to brag for at least the next year!

So come on, who’s hot out there? Who’s cooking with gas and making your meal or drink that little bit more enjoyable?

We can accept nominations by email only and you MUST state your reasons for your choice and remem-

ber, the more you tell us the more chance we have of making an informed decision come the day.

We’ve had quite a few nominations in – but we want more!

Come on folks – does your local café bar serve your right?

TELL US @ office@thecourier.es or call on 96672 6437

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Friday, April 29, 2011

ON TWO WHEELS The rules and reg’s of riding on the roads

THERE are a lot of motorbikes on the Spanish roads but despite the climate, larger motorcycles are few and far between. However, mopeds and scooters, which are everywhere are sometimes a nuisance in some Towns and Cities with their hair-dryer whine noise and erratic driving (and parking) habits.

Nowadays, approved crash helmets are legally required to be worn at all times and, although it seems to be enforced more nowadays, failure to wear one can result in a fine of 100 Euros.

The recent changes to the law mean that Children under the age of seven can no longer be passengers on the back of a moped, and when they are older than seven they are required to have written permission to be a passenger with anyone other than a parent driving.

An important point to remember too is that motorcycles (but not mopeds) are also required to have their dipped headlights on at all times.

More changes to the law came in on 01.09.2010 and now mean that a moped

can now only be ridden by people over the age of 15 (prior to this it was 14 years) providing that the engine capacity does not exceed 50cc and the maximum speed is no more than 60km per hour – however the age rises to 16 if the rider is NOT a Spanish resident.

Riders under the age of 16 must first pass a simple road safety test and provide a letter of permission from their parents. All moped drivers must also have a provincial driving licence costing around 20 Euros, and a specially driving licence for mopeds.

HUMOROUS CAR INSURANCE EXCUSES HOWEVER carefully and vigilantly you may drive, accidents do happen. And when they do, it is then a question of explaining the circumstances to the insurance company for them to help sort out the mess and get your car repaired.

But before the panel-beater can think about matching up the paintwork or ordering a new set of front headlights, the dreaded insurance claim form needs to be filled out. This piece of petty bureaucracy seems fairly straightforward until it comes to writing a few words on exactly how and when the accident happened.

For most, this is a case of jotting down a few of the relevant facts, ensuring our pride remains intact by not admitting liability. For others, though, this part of the claim form sometimes proves to be a little more challenging with unintentional comical explanations being submitted. No doubt these excuses have brightened up the otherwise drab offices of the various insurance companies, and now we can put a smile on your face, too.

Sometimes, the truth can be funnier than fiction.

The squirrel did it, officer Ian Crowder from the AA likes to recall the time he was faced with an insurance claim from a woman who had been driving

along the countryside, in her convertible Audi with the roof down, when a squirrel dropped out of a tree and into the passenger seat. She was so surprised - as you would be she swerved and ended up hitting a tree, writing off the car.

Go figure If you are unfortunate enough to have been involved in an accident, read your claim form before you send it in. Here, this motorist thought his "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way", was justification enough to exonerate him from any wrongdoing.

Take a break, tiredness can be dangerous Here's another snivelling excuse made even more hilarious by the way it has been written. "I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

Ah well, at least this motorist can go to the loo now.

It's a dog's dinner.

One hapless builder left his dog sitting in the passenger seat of his van when he dashed into a fast-food restaurant. When he came out the van had disappeared, along with the dog.

Apparently, the dog's collar got caught on the handbrake,

DRIVING OFFENSES The Policeman couldn't believe his eyes as he saw the woman drive past him, busily knitting. Quickly he pulled along the vehicle, wound down his window and shouted "Pull over!"

"No" she replied, "they're socks!"

An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his car phone, "Darling", she says in a worried voice, "Be careful! There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the motorway", "It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"

A minimum of third party only insurance is also necessary and few Insurers will provide cover for younger teenagers due to the high number of claims from this age demographic. As a result it is widely known that many riders of mopeds do so without any insurance at all – however contact us for another option that we’ve found out about.

Mopeds are also exempt from paying any road tax or registration fees and, if the moped has an engine below 50cc, it cannot be used on a motorway.

and, for reasons which the driver will never know, released the handbrake allowing the van to roll down the hill into a line of parked cars. The dog, you'll be pleased to read, was unharmed.

Dent by stealth When all else fails, blame the car shrouded in a mystical cloak which makes it impossible to be detected by the human eye. One driver wrote "an invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished". We're not sure what type of insurance he had but presumably he was covered for third party, fire and stealth.

Silence of the lambs It seems many accidents are caused by animals, but no one could have predicted what happened to an unsuspecting motorist as he drove home from the pub with a friend and passed under a motorway by-pass. "A sheep had escaped from a lorry which had overturned on the by-pass and in fright it jumped over the parapet, landing on the bonnet of my car. The sheep was unscathed and ran off, which is more than can be said for the car; it was a write-off."

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Friday, April 29, 2011

STARS IN BARS WELCOME to our all new Entertainment Guide let me start off by introducing myself my name is Mandy and after many years of working as a Bar/ Restaurant Manager the opportunity arose for me to take over Stars in Bars Entertainment Agency, which has worked out really well for me as l know most of the artists from my days of working in bars which also helps me in putting the right act into the right venue. I also realised that we need a great Entertainment Guide with news of what’s going to be happening and future events to look out for and an easy to follow gig guide so you guys know what’s happening and when. So after approaching the editor here at The Courier I found out he shares the same passion as me for great live entertainment so we both feel that this guide is something that is really needed every week for all our readers.

So entertainment this weekend is overpowered by a certain wedding!!!!! Everywhere has gone crazy.... Cheers Bar in Eagles Nest have got the wedding being shown on 5 T.V’s and on a 2m big screen with live entertainment and plenty of

bunting. Evolution in La Fuente are showing it on 7 plasma screens with bucks fizz and a wedding buffet with champagne and pimms for 10 euros. In Rojales they are having a massive Royal Wedding Fiesta with an array of stalls, food & wine tasting (that’s where you will find me!!) and lots of things to keep the children entertained, and also a great line up of entertainment including Lorna Michelle, B.J Bluesman, Lynden B a great comedy show, Tony Capaldi, the girls from the Extreme Dance Troupe and even Christine’s Pole Dancers who will be doing a demonstration and even letting the public have a go (after all that wine tasting you’ll probably find me here!!) It starts at 11am and goes on until midnight with the Mayor of Rojales officially opening it in the afternoon. But I think the biggest party that I’ve heard about today is going to be held in Entre Naranjas down by the Inn at the Green with John & Carol and all the gang in Entre Naranjas where they are having the biggest street party I have ever seen out here in Spain. In the morning the bar will open at 11am for bucks fizz and then the

wedding will be shown on the 2 massive T.V screens then from 4pm the tables and chairs will be set out in the street ready for the massive street party which will be starting from 6pm. At the last count there are over 450 people attending. This event is free as people will be bringing there own food just like the good old fashioned street parties back when I was a girl. The entertainment starts at 6pm with Lynden B’s Crazy Disco then at 7pm the fantastic voice of Nikki G till 10pm then back to the disco to finish the night off till midnight. I was invited to the wedding but with all the wine tasting and pole dancing then dancing in the streets until the early hours and probably not waking up till 2 days later feeling not too clever!!! I had to decline.

Well that’s me finished for this week so if you’re a bar or an entertainer and want to appear in the gig guide or you have any events coming up that you would like me to tell everyone about then please contact me on mandy@starsinbars.org or call me on 685302529

Mandy

DATE

VENUE

ACT/ EVENT

OTHER INFO

FRIDAY 29TH

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca Los Belgas in Gran Alicant Casa Ventura in San Luis Morgan’s bar in eagles Nest Las Naciones in Quesada Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjas Mosquito’s Bar in La Florida The Abbey in La Florida Gogarty’s in La Zenia

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Nilo Jukebox Legends & Johnny Zeller Ern E King Richie Nikki G followed by disco with Lynden B Cabaroke with Bono Sunflower Valley Tony de Love show & Karaoke

Starting at 10pm

Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca Los Belgas in Gran Alicant Casa Nicolas in Altos del Limonar Morgan’s Bar in Eagles Nest Las Naciones in Quesada Cagney’s in La Marina Arches in Los Alcazares Manga Norte Restaurant in La Manga Lo Monte Hotel in Torre de la Horredada Shenanigans in Rojales Carls Bar in Los Montisinos The Stray Sod in La Fuente Gogarty’s in La Zenia

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Bee Gees Tribute Jukebox legends & Elvis 2000 Karaoke Justin Sane Tony Lincoln Lynden B Lenny Mitchell Commitments Show U2 Tribute with Rob Bloomer Jon Summer Sunflower Valley Tony de Love Show & Karaoke

Starting at 10pm

Pablo’s International bar in La Florida Morgan’s Bar in Eagles nest Snug Bar in Torre de la Horredada Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjas Bar Liquid in Cabo Roig Waikiki in Las Siesta Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca

Cabaroke with Davy Jones Celina Deans Red Strokes Cabaroke with Matt Christian Cabaroke with Bono Jon Summer Sunflower Valley

Starting at 8pm 4pm till 7pm

MONDAY 2ND

Morgan’s Bar in Eagles Nest

Lucinda

TUESDAY 3RD

Inn at the green in Entre Naranjas Morgan’s Bar in Eagles Nest Bar Rosa in Los Montesinos Celtic Drop in Playa Flamenca

Kens Quiz Suzy G Quiz night with Darren James Cut loose

Starting at 9pm

WEDNESDAY 4TH

Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjas Morgan’s Bar in Eagles nest Montes Bar in Los Montesinos The Arches in Los Alcazares Paddy’s Point in La Zenia Restaurant La Boca in Playa los Locos

Crazy Bingo Curtis Fun Music Quiz Debbie Slater Sunflower Valley B.J Bluesman

Starting at 4pm

THURSDAY 5TH

Morgan’s Bar in Eagles Nest Inn at the Green in Entre Naranjas Bernie Darcy’s Gogarty’s in La Zenia

Fun Quiz Fun Music Quiz with Lynden B Cut loose Disco & Karaoke with Steve Christy

SATURDAY 30TH

SUNDAY 1ST MAY

Tickets 7.50 Euros starting at 8.30pm

All day street party

Starting at 8pm Stand up Comedian Comedy Show 4 shows in 1 Starting at 9.30pm

Starting at 3pm

Starting at 10.30pm

Starting at 8.30pm

Starting at 10.30pm

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Friday, April 29, 2011

TKO NEWS MAKE SURE YOU JOIN PAUL CUNNINGHAM'S NURSES IN CELEBRATING THE ROYAL WEDDING IN ROJALES MARKET SQUARE TODAY (FRIDAY)!

The fun starts at 11am with entertainment and live music from local artists and TKO DJs. The ceremony itself will be screened live for all to view and enjoy.

There will also be market stalls selling all sorts of items including international food, plus drinks – and plenty of fun for the children with games and competitions.

TKO ‘BEAT THE INTRO’ COMPETITIONS – GOLD AND FM. We continue to give away amazing prizes each week with our competition, run in association with Lumsden Auctions, Formentera.

You have chances to win different prizes on both stations, so get entering now!

Prizes this week are a Vodaphone pay-as-you-go mobile phone on FM Digital photo frame on TKO Gold.

HOT GOSSIP

Single-minded Harris, back with a Bounce Calvin Harris has said he plans to release a series of new singles throughout the summer and his third full-length album later in the year.

The Scot’s new instrumental track 'Awooga' recently became available, and is expected to be the first of a number of new singles he plans to put out before the end of 2011.

"There will be lots of new music from me this year,’’ he announced. ‘‘The album will be a little later, but I'm going to be releasing a lot of singles during the summer."

Harris said the first of those singles would be 'Bounce', which features Kelis on guest vocals. He added that this would be available "very soon."

Surprisingly, he revealed that he has no plans to perform again despite being a fixture on the UK live and festival scenes for the past few years. "I've

stopped the live shows - I'm not a singer, I'm not trained,’’ he confided. ‘‘Taking it onto the stage in front of people was terrifying. I got much, much better at it but I never lost the terror."

He added: "Looking after your voice on tour is such a priority and such a nightmare. If I had a night out the night before a show, it'd be awful and I'd feel for the audience. I'll do some studio singing for sure, but never live. It's not worth the risk for anyone, for the people in the audience or me, my pride."

Harris confirmed that he will concentrate on DJing and work behind the scenes with other artists.

"I'm going to focus more on production and DJing and zero percent of my time will go on singing," he said. "I'll do tracks with people who can sing well proper artists, proper performers.

TKO Gold Featured Artist KEITH URBAN FOR his sixth studio album, Get Closer, singer-songwriter Keith Urban dives even deeper into the exploration of love and relationships – subjects that have established him as one of the world's biggest country music stars.

He also extends his rock‘n’roll side as his hard-charging guitar work reaches new heights.

The album is the follow-up to 2009's Grammy-winning and platinum selling Defying Gravity.

New Zealand-born and Australia-raised, Urban moved to Nashville in 1992 and has since been honoured with Grammy, Country Music Association and Academy of County Music awards plus a People’s Choice award, American Music award and Australia’s coveted Aria award. He also recorded a powerful rendition of ‘Lean on Me’ alongside Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow on the Hope for Haiti telethon.

As Get Closer illustrates, rather than rely on formula, Keith continues to innovate with his music. The sound of the album expands the contrast between old and new styles that has underpinned much of his previous work.

"I love using drum machines when I write," he says, "and I love the juxtaposition of a great, funky '80s drum machine with a banjo. Merging those instruments together was something I was really drawn to - we got to a certain point on the record, but I’d like to keep exploring it more."

If you are a fan of new country music, we think this album is a must for your collection. In fact, even if you just love good, honest, well-written songs, this will do for you too!

WIN A MEAL FOR TWO AND WINE AT QUESADA FISH & CHIPS Pop Quiz 29th April 1 Which band had a hit with Silver Machina in 1972?

2 This Scots singer songwriter had albums and singles called Year Of The Cat and Time Passages?

3 The Riddle and Wouldn’t It Be Good were hits for who?

4 This band had a huge hit with Love And Pride in 1984.

5 Also known as Sporty Spice, she had a solo hit with Northern Star.

6 Who sang The Free Electric Band and wrote Little Arrows for Leapy Lee? 7 Name Francis Rossi’s partner in crime and Status Quo? 8 This Irish crooner is as well-known for his jumpers as his songs..

9 This late Manchester hero was the lead singer of Joy Division.

10 Which Canadian singer had a hit with Heart Of Gold and was a member of Buffalo Springfield?

FIND THE KEY WORD AND TO TAKE PART LISTEN TO CHRIS ASHLEY’S SHOW ON TKO GOLD, 8AM TO 11AM EVERY MONDAY. CHRIS WILL ASK YOU TO TEXT OR EMAIL IN THE KEY WORD AND THE WINNER OF THIS WEEK’S ANSWER WILL BE ANNOUNCED.

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Friday, April 29, 2011

CODE CRACKER Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues; instead, every letter of the alphabet has been replaced by a number, the same number representing the same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have to do is decide which letter is represented by which number. In this week's puzzle, 15 represents B and 1 represents Z, when these letters have been entered throughout the puzzle, you should have enough information to start guessing words and discovering other letters.

QUICKIE

In this week’s Quickie crossword, all the answers are ANAGRAMS of the clue words: Across 1 Rabies (6) 4 Real (4) 7 A constraint (11) 9 Dirge (5) 10 Torso (5) 11 Ten (3) 12 Wades (5) 14 Hates (5) 17 Dung thrower (11) 18 Neap (4) 19 Brides (6)

Down 1 Tribe (5) 2 A draw (5) 3 Unpressed (9) 5 Imago (5) 6 Kilns (5) 8 Orchestra (9) 12 Plums (5) 13 Wined (5) 15 Resew (5) 16 Those (5)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Bites, 4 Sells, 7 Precision, 8 Sick, 10 Occur, 12 Borrow, 13 Legs, 16 Awareness, 18 Sends, 19 Maybe.

Down: 1 Barns, 2 Top, 3 Seek, 4 Switch, 5 Leisure, 6 Send, 9 Certain, 11 Covers, 12 Beaks, 14 Smoke, 15 Seem, 17 Shy.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORD Solve the Double Cross-Word puzzle using either the standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

CRYTPIC CLUES Across 1 Justify an authorisation for arrest (7) 5 Take out broken bidet (5) 8 Dance that’s rhythmic to an unusual degree (5) 9 Is irritating, but the darned things needed them! (7) 10 Formal declaration from meanest abstainer around (9) 12 Biblical character from Belize (3) 13 In high spirits knock a beer back with Edward (6) 14 Big Ben’s damage is fading (6) 17 Pound it and it’s illuminated (3) 18 Must I let a mistake generate some interest (9) 20 Looking to understand piece (7) 21 Miss a trick (5) 23 Having had enough, was unhappy about note (5) 24 Receiver heading for one’s home, it’s serious!

(7)

Down 1 The mechanical part functions (5) 2 Gunner Mike’s sheep (3) 3 Mead brewed by an expert for the world of scholars (7) 4 Offer that leaves one feeling sore (6) 5 Lived in abnormally lewd time (5) 6 Dance hesitation in a dancer (9) 7 Thanks former policeman at wine event (7) 11 Broke? Rent Tampa flat (9) 13 Listens, sort of, and signs up (7) 15 A jumper for a dog (7) 16 Let gin give you a funny feeling (6) 18 I hurried in confusion when caught sight of (5) 19 Forcibly discharge from aeroplane perhaps (5) 22 Pass mould (3)

STANDARD CLUES

Down 1 Moving parts (5) 2 Smash into (3) 3 University circles (7) 4 Caring (6) 5 Inhabited (5) 6 Dancer (9) 7 Sampling (7) 11 Flat (9) 13 Joins up (7) 15 Cad (7) 16 Prickle (6) 18 Glimpsed (5) 19 Throw out (5) 22 Expire (3)

Across 1 Licence (7) 5 Withdrawal (5) 8 Cuban dance (5) 9 Sharp pointed implements (7) 10 Declaration (9) 12 Biblical character (3) 13 Overjoyed (6) 14 Flowing away (6) 17 Set afire (3) 18 Motivate (9) 20 Looking for (7) 21 Avoid (5) 23 Full (5) 24 Serious (7)

Last weeks Solution Across: 1 Tacit, 4 Trough, 9 Mariner, 10 Lodes, 11 Toil, 12 Natural, 13 Let, 14 Hero, 16 Oboe, 18 Sun, 20 Earnest, 21 Clue, 24 Torso, 25 Reeling, 26 Damsel, 27 Dodge.

Down: 1 Tomato, 2 Corgi, 3 Tiny, 5 Relation, 6 Undergo, 7 Hassle, 8 Front, 13 Lonesome, 15 Eardrum, 17 Heated, 18 Storm, 19 League, 22 Laird, 23 Read.

FILL IT IN

Complete the crossword grid by using the given words:

2 letter words Am As At It Me No OK Or Pi To Up We 3 letter words Ant Eat Eta Eva Lad

Lit MBA Net Nor Owl Rpm Tar 5 letter words Arena Aspen Cadet Cards Carom Cheat Civet Clamp Comet Creep Debug

Honey Hotel Inane Loath Marcs Maths Papal Pylon Salem Sales Skate Snaps Sonic Stale Thorn Tongs Total

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORD Improve your Spanish - clues in Spanish, answers in English or vice versa.

Across 1 Baño (4) 3 Pumpkin (8) 9 Apellido (7) 10 Gigante (5) 11 Granddaughter (5) 12 Above (overhead) (6) 14 Places (6) 16 Chain (6) 19 Castillo (6) 21 West (5) 24 Spider (5) 25 Banana (7) 26 Mil (8) 27 Firewood (4)

Down 1 Negocios (empresa) (8) 2 Tres (5) 4 In addition (6) 5 Ira (de persona) (5) 6 Wire (metal) (7) 7 Minutes (of a meeting) (4) 8 Cheap (goods, labour, shop, ticket) (6) 13 Saucepan (8) 15 Job (employment) (7) 17 To adore (6) 18 Arma (6) 20 Lágrimas (5) 22 Espacio (5) 23 Querer (objeto) (4)

33

Friday, April 29, 2011 Across 1 Dispur is the capital of which state in north-eastern India? (5) 4 Which eight-legged predatory arachnid has an unsegmented body consisting of a fused head and thorax and a rounded abdomen? (6) 9 Which tool with a shaped opening or jaws used for gripping and turning a nut or bolt, is known as a ‘wrench’ in the US? (7) 10 Which word means ‘unable to bend or be forced out of shape’? (5) 11 Which wild goat with long, thick ridged horns and a beard, is found in the mountain areas of Eurasia and northern Africa? (4) 12 What name is often given to a dugout used by troops as a shelter against enemy fire or as a firing point? (7) 13 What is the usual abbreviation for hundredweight? (3) 14 What is the name given to a small wingless jumping insect that feeds on the blood of mammals and birds? (4) 16 Which dish of meat and vegetables is cooked slowly in liquid in a closed dish or pan? (4) 18 What is the SI unit of electrical resistance? (3) 20 Which city is the state capital of Michigan? (7) 21 According to the New Testament, what was the name elder of the twin sons of Isaac and Rebecca, who sold his birthright to his brother Jacob? (4) 24 Which bass instrument of the violin family is held upright on the floor between the legs of the seated player? (5) 25 Which small, soft, log-shaped cakes made of choux pastry are filled with cream and typically topped with chocolate icing? (7) 26 Which small passerine bird of the finch family Fringillidae has the scientific name Carduelis cannabina? (6)

SUDOKU

Quiz Word

27 Which weapon with a pointed tip, typically of steel, and a long shaft, is used for thrusting or throwing? (5) Down 1 What name is given to the descent down a nearly vertical surface using a doubled rope secured to a rope around the body and attached to some higher point? (6)

2 Which British pop group originally consisted of Noddy Holder, Dave Hill, Jim Lea and Don Powell? (5) 3 Which aromatic plant, native to temperate regions of the Old World, has several kinds that are used as culinary herbs? (4) 5 From the Greek for ‘exasperate’, what name is given to a ‘sudden attack or violent expression of a particular emotion or activity’? (8) 6 Which delicately scented Eurasian wild rose with pink or white flowers, commonly grows in hedgerows? (3,4) 7 Which long, narrow landlocked sea separates Africa from the Arabian Peninsula? (3,3) 8 What name is given to a small rented farm, especially one in Scotland, comprising a plot of arable land attached to a house and with a right of pasturage held in common with other such farms? (5) 13 What is the name of the woman’s loose-fitting undergarment for the upper body, typically held up by shoulder straps and having decorative trimming? (8) 15 Which fatty substance found naturally on sheep’s wool is extracted as a yellowish viscous mixture of esters and used as a base for ointments? (7) 17 Which sweet but poisonous syrupy liquid is used as an antifreeze and solvent? (6) 18 In the television soap opera Coronation Street, what was the surname of the characters Stan and Hilda, played by actors Bernard Youens and Jean Alexander? (5) 19 What title is given to an officer on a ship who keeps the accounts, especially the head steward on a passenger vessel?

(6) 22 What name is given to the series of vertebrae that extends from the skull to the small of the back? (5) 23 What is the name of the mountain system extending in a curve from the coast of southeast France through northwest Italy, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, and southern Germany into Austria?

(4)

SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH ARTICULOS DE OFICINA

Match these office items to their Spanish translations (Answers are below) then try and find the Spanish words in the wordsearch.

1. Where would you find the Meander River?

2. Caligari is the capital of what island?

3. Which country do Sinologists study?

4. What is the longest river in Italy?

5. The name of which country's capital means 'good air'?

6. Vladivostok stands on what body of water?

7. If you landed at Carthage airport where would you be?

8. Suomi is the name the natives give to what country?

9. What European capital city is not on a river?

10. What country is the world's largest exporter of Frogs Legs?

11. Until 1971 what was the name of Zaire?

12. What is the world deepest lake?

13. Vladivostok stands on what body of water?

1. Turkey 2. Sardinia 3. China 4. Po 5. Buenos Aires, Argentina 6. Sea of Japan 7. Tunis 8. Finland 9. Madrid 10. Japan 11. Congo 12. Lake Baikal in Siberia, Russia.

13. Sea of Japan

ANSWERS

Last Week’s Solutions Code Cracker Last weeks Quiz Wordsolution Across: 1 Steel, 4 Jurors, 9 Allende, 10 Spare, 12 Chalice, 13 Poe, 14 Jane, 16 Last, 18 Joe, 20 Imagine, 21 Fiji, 24 Horse, 25 Mae west, 26 Ramsey, 27 Niece.

Down: 1 Searle, 2 Ellen, 3 Linz, 5 Unstable, 6 Ovaries, 7 Seeger, 8 Recce, 13 Pekinese, 15 Anagram, 17 Zither, 18 Jemmy, 19 Big toe, 22 Irene, 23/11 Sean Long.

16. silla, 17. engrapadora, 18.

k. staples, l. paper, m. books-

4. goma, 5. sacapuntas,

grapas, 19. pegamento,

helf, n. pen, o. calculater,

6. regla, 7. carpeta,

20. clip, 21. reloj, 22. mesa.

p. pencil sharpener, q. printer,

8. cuaderno, 9. libro,

a. table, b. pencil, c. clock,

r. folder, s. computer, t. book,

10. pizarra, 11. librero,

d. rubber, e. stapler, f. paper

u. desk, v. chair.

12. calculadora, 13. impresora,

clip, g. ruler, h. notebook,

14. ordenador, 15. escritorio,

i. glue, j. blackboard,

L V NNA S K A Z NCB ORP I A T E P RA CRA NL I E E P A P E L QB T L RI URGG A L L I S B NCNB A DOL A L L E S Z F UA RUHZ T A M C C H X L L WO A Y P M I L E A RODA P A RGNE A RP N U J D D I V OC N S OJ C MT E DOL A S UDA X ROS A O Z RONE A CT S HE L E CS A B ORDE NA DORE OL O RX P E V P P GB OB RX I D K MR A MA GOMA I V N P H I NX B RP B X F UL T DY K OT DGHRCOS OI URZ J Soduko

Span - Eng

Answers: 1l, 2b, 3n, 4d, 5p, 6g, 7r, 8h, 9t, 10j, 11m, 12o, 13q, 14s, 15u, 16v, 17e, 18k, 19i, 20f, 21c, 22a.

GEOGRAPHY QUIZ

1. papel, 2. lapiz, 3. boli,

BOLI

LIBRERO

CALCULADORA

LIBRO

CARPETA

MESA

CLIP

ORDENADOR

CUADERNO

PAPEL

ENGRAPADORA

PEGAMENTO

ESCRITORIO

PIZARRA

GOMA

REGLA

GRAPAS

RELOJ

IMPRESORA

SACAPUNTAS

LAPIZ

SILLA

Quizword

Fill It In

34

Friday, April 29, 2011

Horoscopes Dear Tia Maria.

HIS GIRLFRIEND LIVES ABROAD… I’ve recently got to know this man who is six years my senior, I’ve only met him twice but we really feel as if we can trust each other. We stayed up to 5am talking and I told him things I wouldn’t normally tell new friends.

He told me a lot of private things, too. The following night we watched a film, he had his arm round me and linked his fingers with mine and then, when I went to bed, he sat by me and stroked my hair.

The only thing is, he has a girlfriend who he seems to really care about and he might think of it all innocently. He hasn’t seen her in a few months as she lives abroad so he might be inad-

vertently getting close to me because he misses her. I don’t know what to think, I’m so confused.

Yours, Jean, La Zenia

Tia Maria says: Many times we project our needs and desires on the other person, only to be disappointed when they are not fulfilled .We start having expectations … and then we feel confused and let down when they are not met.

I think the bottom line here is that this guy is in a relationship and he cares about his girlfriend – he makes no mystery about that.

He may be getting close to you because he misses his girl and he needs

affection, true – and that may have happened quite innocently, or even not so innocently. He might feel physically attracted to you, why not?

But are his motivations really so important? The point here is that he is taken - and not available to you, at least in the way you would like.

You may feel that, in his place, you would have acted differently; you would not have flirted or been so affectionate to somebody. But that’s your own ‘code’, your set of values and habits and way to express yourself. Other people may feel and act differently. For you, holding hands or stroking hair must mean something; for a lot of other people…not necessarily If you are able to enjoy this romantic friendship without any particular expectations, just being in the moment and not worrying about where it’s all going to, and will he leave his girl, etc. etc., then by all means do. But I’ve got the feeling that this is not your case.

Good luck, anyway. and remember, this feels like a special guy - but there are a lot of guys around who might be both special and available.

Good luck,

MY FRIEND IS A COMPULSIVE LIAR Dear Tia, I’m 14 and have three best friends and when we talk, one of them says really random things. For example, ‘’my cousin got stabbed, my sister fell down the stairs, my granny had a stroke, my other cousin won the lottery, I was stuck in a lift with a woman in labour, my brother tried to kill himself with his school tie and my dad had a tumour, died in the operation, came back to life - and went home the next day’’.

It’s really weird and always out of context. I and my other friends think she’s lying, so we asked her brother. He had never heard about the lottery thing, but she came up and told him to shut up, then told us he was lying. Today, two months after she said it, she told us it was a joke.

So what else has she been lying about? We keep on asking her and she just avoids the question but hangs around with us like normal. One of my friends isn’t talking to her and it’s really awkward. I’m caught in the middle. I don’t want to leave her in case she’s not lying and all these bad things did happen to her but I don’t want to hang around with a liar. She’s really sad and I’m confused.

Nothing's the same any more. I’m in all her classes and she still hangs around with us. She’s not getting it and won’t give us a clear answer.

Kelly Tia Maria says: Dear Kelly, I know how you feel. I have or should I say had a friend just like that who lied to me a lot. She would tell me that her dad was in hospital or she has some sort of medical problem; it was really annoying so I did something about it. I blanked her. It might have seemed right at the time but looking back I know it was the wrong thing to do.

It didn’t work - it made things worse. So instead I talked to her and she told me why she told lies - she did it for attention. She said she felt lonely and she liked having people who cared and talked to her. So I discovered that blanking her was not only making me feel worse but her as well.

Yours sincerely, Tia Maria

By Pandora Aries March 21 - April 19 The older you get the more you're starting to realise that everyone else is an idiot.

Your appetites may diminish today as you fall into a vat of gravy with no inside ladder.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Any joke you have to seriously think about today is not worth 'getting'. If you pick yourself up by your shoe-strings you are likely to fall flat on your arse. A week of rest may be all you need for your broken leg to recover

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Dogs will find themselves inexplicably attracted to your shins, this week. All the time you spent on learning French is never going to pay off. Today is not your lucky day.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 A picture frame will feature highly in your day today and will probably make you feel like you'd never gotten out of bed. Indeed, you'll probably end up going back to bed as soon as today's mishaps have had done with you.

Leo July 23 - August 22 You are not anyone's "bitch". Your appetites for love are not dampened by the loss of a limb...but your partner's might be. Cold winds encircle your future.

Virgo August 23 - September 22 Remember that water dissolves alien beasts and some witches. Do you really want to be drinking 8 glasses a day with that track record? Admitting to shooting the sheriff is not a good alibi when being accused of shooting the deputy.

Libra September 23 - October 22 Seek comfort in clothing today. Monsters plague your every move and will soon be there to eat your flesh. Crossing your arms, legs and fingers is fine.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21 The number you are thinking of is an odd number below 50. Get used to seeing bruises over the next few days as you and furniture begin not seeing eye to eye. The loony-left is a phrase that you quite like.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 A flurry of exclamation marks will come back to haunt you later this month as an email comes true. Harmless fun may come back to harm you over the coming weeks.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19 Today is not your lucky day. It's tomorrow instead! So that's something to look forward to whilst your picking up your teeth with your broken arm.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18 Feeding stray cats may seem important to you today in order to get a feeling of overwhelming satisfaction. Are you loveable? Take time out today to contemplate that thought and try to make sure that you are very loveable.

Pisces February 19 - March 20 Death can stalk you in all forms, even cute little pussy cats and slugs. Beware of all cats who have slugs attached to their backs. Dead clowns will try to follow you home.

Friday, April 29, 2011

35

WHAT’S ON THE TELLY..?

Dirty Harry (Film,1971)

Basic Instinct (Film,1992)

Some of this week’s highlights Coronation Street

Saturday, April 30th ITV1 11:15pm to 01:15am Clint Eastwood stars in this energetic and influential story about a maverick cop's obsessive attempts to bring a cold-blooded serial killer to justice before he kills again

Monday, May 2nd ITV1 11:15pm to 01:30am The now-classic thriller stars Sharon Stone as a sensual bisexual writer who may also be a multiple murderess. Michael Douglas is the cop charged with finding the truth; but such is her allure, he becomes too closely involved. Ignoring director Paul Verhoeven's infamous shot of a certain part of Stone's anatomy, this film, scripted by Joe Jagged Edge Eszterhas, is a superior psychological chiller, with the two leads both superb.

Surgery School

Come Dine with Me

Friday 29 8:30pm, 9:30pm ITV1, HD Ken Barlow's nice, sympathetic grandson, James, returns and Ken jumps at the chance to let him stay. Has he learnt nothing from Lawrence, the anti-Ken?

When Kate Met William: a Tale of Two Lives

Sunday, May 1st ITV1 00:15am to 01:15am Documentary charting the progress of ten interns at the prestigious London School of Surgery, who are training to become consultant surgeons. Every year 2,000 young doctors apply for a position but only just over 100 are chosen.

Tuesday, May 3rd Channel 4 6:00pm to 7:00pm In Hertfordshire, the first contestant, Perry Jones - an argumentative Dale Winton dead ringer - believes 20 years' experience of hosting dinner parties will see him win. But his menu, which includes two tins of chicken soup poured over chicken breasts, topped with crisps, for his 'chicken divan' main, leaves everyone scratching their heads. Competitive dentist Amit Koshal goes all out with an Indian inspired menu, but confesses that his wife of four years doesn't know he can cook.

Food snob Kelly Hatt's attempt to match wine to her courses backfires. And on the final day 'diamond-gastronomic-geezer' Heath Reid bids to win with some Italianinfluenced dishes.

Tuesday 26 10:00pm ITV1, ITV1 HD Expect to hear the words "fairy tale" a lot as ITV1 trots through Kate and William's relationship with friends of the couple and royal experts like Jennie Bond.

36

Friday 29th April 00:15 This Week 01:05 Too Fast to Be a Woman?

The Story of Caster Semenya 01:55 Countryfile 02:55 Antiques Roadshow 03:55 The Record 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 09:00 The Royal Wedding 14:40 BBC News; Weather 15:00 Regional News and Weather 15:10 The Royal Wedding 17:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 17:05 Wallace & Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death 17:35 Shrek 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 The Royal Wedding 23:00 BBC News 23:20 Regional News and Weather 23:30 The Graham Norton Show BBC2 00:20 Snooker: The World Championship 01:10 BBC News 01:30 HARDtalk 02:00 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Charles Gibson 03:00 BBC News

03:30 The Record 03:55 Close 05:00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: Physical Geography 07:00 The Pink Panther Show 07:20 Animal Park 08:05 A Conversation with Gregory Peck 09:30 Spellbound 11:20 Duel in the Sun 13:25 Live Snooker: The World Championship 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 22:00 Monty Don’s Italian Gardens 23:00 Frank Skinner’s Opinionated 23:30 Newsnight ITV 00:35 Caroline Quentin: A Passage Through India 01:30 The Zone 03:35 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 04:25 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 Jeremy Kyle: Morning Surgery

06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 The Royal Wedding 17:05 Nanny McPhee 18:55 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Baboons with Bill Bailey 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Paul O’Grady Live 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:50 Meridian News and Weather 23:55 The Cube C4 00:05 The Royal Wedding Crashers 00:40 The Ricky Gervais Show 01:10 JD Set: Dublin 01:30 Kanchivaram: the Treachery of Silk (12A) 03:35 Unreported World 04:00 The Men Who Jump Off Buildings 04:55 Ugly Betty 05:35 Hill Street Blues 06:25 Countdown 07:10 The Hoobs

THE ROYAL WEDDING 12.00 The service begins at Westminster Abbey. The Archbishop of Canterbury presides as Prince William marries Kate Middleton, watched live by millions worldwide. 1.00 The newlyweds set off on a carriage ride to Buckingham Palace to begin the celebrations. 2.30 The prince and his new princess step out on to the balcony.

08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 09:55 Wife Swap USA 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Make Do & Mend 13:35 The TV Book Club 14:05 3 Minute Wonder: Second Lives 14:10 The Bridges at Toko-Ri 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Come Dine with Me Royal Wedding Special 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:25 My Big Fat Royal Gypsy Wedding C5 01:05 SuperCasino 05:05 Meals in Moments

05:15 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 Roary the Racing Car 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:10 The Mr Men Show 08:25 Thomas & Friends 08:40 Make Way for Noddy 08:55 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Santa Fe 13:50 CSI: NY 14:45 5 News Lunchtime 15:00 Home and Away 15:30 Neighbours 16:00 5 News 16:15 William & Kate 18:00 5 News: Royal Wedding Special 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV: Royal Wedding Special 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 21:00 5 News at 9 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 Law & Order 23:55 The Walking Dead

37

Saturday 30th April 00:15 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 00:25 The One Show 01:25 Hope Springs 02:55 Madagascar 03:55 Michel Roux’s Service 04:55 Newswatch 05:00 BBC News 05:30 The Bottom Line 06:00 BBC News 07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Great British Menu 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 17:30 Final Score 18:10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:25 Don’t Scare the Hare 19:00 Doctor Who 19:45 So You Think You Can Dance Live 21:00 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins 21:50 So You Think You Can Dance 22:20 Casualty 23:10 BBC News; Weather 23:30 Match of the Day BBC2 00:00 The Review Show 00:50 Later with Jools Holland 01:50 Snooker: The World Championship 02:40 The Bottom Line 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record Review 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Click

04:45 Newswatch 04:55 Close 07:00 Pinky Dinky Doo 07:10 Chuggington 07:20 The Large Family 07:30 Octonauts 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 One Minute Wonders 08:30 Arthur 08:55 Leon 09:00 Fee Fi Fo Yum 09:30 Prank Patrol Down Under 10:00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 10:30 Serious Explorers: Livingstone 11:00 Relic: Guardians of the Museum 11:30 League of Super Evil 11:40 Wolverine and the X-Men 12:05 Mortified 12:30 Whose Side Are You On? - A Newsround Special 12:45 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 Coast 13:15 Citizen Kane 15:15 The Magnificent Ambersons 16:45 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 17:30 Live Snooker: The World Championship 18:30 Flog It! 19:30 Dad’s Army 20:00 Live Snooker: The World

Championship 22:30 Have I Got a Bit More Old News For You 23:15 Frank Skinner’s Opinionated 23:45 Nurse Jackie ITV 00:55 Take Me Out 01:55 The Zone 03:55 In Plain Sight 04:50 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:25 CITV 10:25 Coronation Street 13:10 This Morning: Saturday 14:10 ITV News and Weather 14:14 Meridian Weather 14:15 Monk 15:15 You’ve Been Framed!

Funniest 100 16:15 Live and Let Die 18:30 Meridian News and Weather 18:45 ITV News and Weather 19:00 New People Do the Funniest Things 20:00 Sing if You Can 21:00 Britain’s Got Talent 22:00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Ann Widdecombe 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather

COME DINE WITH ME DOWN UNDER New series. Australian version of the show where contestants try to outdo each other by throwing the perfect dinner party, which is then judged on its merits by their rivals.

Working mother Helen Contzonis hosts an Arabian-themed evening.

23:15 Dirty Harry C4 00:25 10 O’Clock Live 01:30 Snowbombing 2011 02:15 Mercury Prize Sessions 02:30 My Name Is Earl 03:15 Brown Sugar 05:05 Mama Lou 05:15 Fast Spin Fling 05:20 Eating for Two 05:25 Freaky 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 British Formula 3 International Series 08:30 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Friends 10:25 Koko Pop 11:00 Friends 11:30 Glee 12:30 Great British Hairdresser 13:30 The Big Bang Theory 14:25 That Paralympic Show 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 16:55 Come Dine with Me Down Under 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 River Cottage Best Bites

21:00 Kate and William: Romance and the Royals 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:20 Stand Up for the Week C5 00:55 Cops in Crisis 01:15 SuperCasino 05:05 Motorsport Mundial 05:30 Nick’s Quest 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:40 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 The Beeps 08:00 Mio Mao 08:10 Chiro 08:15 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:30 Noddy in Toyland 08:45 Hana’s Helpline 09:00 Little Princess 09:15 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:30 Play!

09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Gerald McBoing Boing 11:00 Chinese Food in Minutes 11:10 The Gadget Show 12:10 Ice Road Truckers 13:05 King of Kings 16:10 Ben-Hur 20:15 5 News Weekend 20:20 NCIS 21:15 CSI: Grissom’s Greatest 22:10 CSI: Miami 23:10 CSI: NY

38

Sunday 1st May 00:45 The Football League Show 02:10 The Royal Wedding 03:40 Giles & Sue’s Royal Wedding 04:40 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 Click 06:00 BBC News 06:30 The Weather Show 07:00 Breakfast 08:45 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Country Tracks 13:00 The Politics Show 14:00 EastEnders 15:55 Bargain Hunt 16:25 Escape to the Country 17:25 Life of Riley 17:55 Points of View 18:10 Songs of Praise 18:45 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 19:15 Land Girls 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Exile 23:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 23:25 Match of the Day 2 BBC2 00:15 01:15 02:55 04:35 07:00 07:10 07:20

Later with Jools Holland Before Sunrise Anna M Close Pinky Dinky Doo Chuggington Garth and Bev

07:30 Octonauts 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 One Minute Wonders 08:30 Arthur 08:55 Leon 09:00 Fee Fi Fo Yum 09:30 Gimme a Break 10:00 Dennis and Gnasher 10:10 Bear Behaving Badly 10:30 Me and My Monsters 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 MasterChef: The Final Three 13:30 Live MotoGP 15:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 19:00 Davis v Taylor: The ‘85 Black Ball Final 20:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship

12:30 This Morning: Sunday 13:30 Dinner Date 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:39 Meridian Weather 14:40 Columbo: Murder by the Book 16:10 Britain’s Got Talent 17:10 Evan Almighty 19:00 Meridian News and Weather 19:10 ITV News and Weather 19:30 The Cube 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Vera 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather 23:15 Perspectives: Andrew Lloyd Webber - A Passion for the PreRaphaelites

ITV

C4

01:15 03:15 04:00 06:30 07:00 08:25 10:25 11:25

The Zone Swingtown ITV Nightscreen ITV Morning News Mini CITV CITV May the Best House Win Sing if You Can

EXILE

00:05 Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery 02:00 Secretary 03:50 Shapes 03:55 Home Country 04:00 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind 04:05 Hello Boys

New series. Journalist Tom Ronstadt returns to his childhood home in Lancashire after 18 years away, hoping to uncover the truth behind the incident that caused him to leave.

As Tom struggles to work his way back into life with his family and former friends, he recalls a name from the past - and realises his father's secret could be far more serious than he imagined.

05:00 Running in Heels 06:15 Countdown 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 That Paralympic Show 08:25 Freesports on 4 08:45 Album Chart Show Special: Chipmunk 09:25 Friends 09:55 Hollyoaks 12:25 Being N-Dubz in America and Beyond 13:00 Glee 14:00 The Simpsons 15:00 Channel 4 Racing 17:00 Jamie at Home 17:30 Deal or No Deal 18:30 Time Team 19:30 Channel 4 News 19:55 4thought.tv 20:00 Come Dine with Me 21:00 The Hotel 22:00 The Bank Job C5 00:10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:10 SuperCasino

05:00 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 Nick’s Quest 05:35 HouseBusters 06:00 Hana’s Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Peppa Pig 07:05 Roary the Racing Car 07:15 Fifi and the Flowertots 07:25 Fireman Sam 07:35 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 07:50 The Beeps 08:00 Mio Mao 08:15 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08:20 Noddy in Toyland 08:40 Hana’s Helpline 08:45 Animal Families 09:00 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:15 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 09:25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Gerald McBoing Boing 11:00 K-9 11:35 OK! TV Sunday 12:30 Extraordinary Dogs 13:00 The Hotel Inspector 14:05 Lawrence of Arabia 18:10 5 News Weekend 18:15 The Golden Voyage of Sinbad 20:20 Godzilla 23:00 The Walking Dead

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Monday 2nd May 00:45 The Sky at Night 01:05 Wah-Wah 02:45 MasterChef 03:45 Holby City 04:45 Churches: How to Read Them 05:15 One Man and His Campervan 05:45 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:00 Animal 24:7 10:45 Homes Under the Hammer 11:45 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:30 Cash in the Attic 13:30 Bargain Hunt 14:15 BBC News 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:40 Escape to the Country 15:40 Antz 17:00 Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers 17:30 National Treasure 19:30 BBC News 19:45 Regional News Programmes 19:55 Referendum Broadcast on Behalf of the No Campaign 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Bang Goes the Theory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 QI 22:00 Exile 23:00 BBC News 23:10 Regional News and Weather 23:15 Party Election Broadcast 23:20 A Question of Sport 23:50 Late Kick Off BBC2 00:00 01:40 03:15 03:30 04:00 04:30 05:00 05:30 05:45

Shine Resting Place BBC News Dateline London BBC News Five Minutes With BBC News HARDtalk The Super League Show

06:15 Close 07:00 Postman Pat 07:25 Bob the Builder 07:50 Octonauts 08:00 Little Howard’s Big Question 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Trust Me I’m a Genie 08:40 League of Super Evil 08:50 Frankenstein’s Cat 09:00 Copycats 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Guess with Jess 10:30 Big & Small 10:45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10:50 Grandpa in My Pocket 11:05 Mightymites 11:20 Nuzzle and Scratch: Frock and Roll 11:20 Dip Dap 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Animal Park 15:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship 18:55 Referendum Broadcast on Behalf of the No Campaign 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Live Snooker: The World Championship

ITV 00:15 Surgery School 01:15 Dating the Enemy 01:40 The Zone 03:00 British Superbike Championship Highlights 03:55 Motorsport UK 04:45 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Dinner Date 11:25 This Morning 12:30 60 Minute Makeover 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 Inspector Morse 17:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 18:00 Britain’s Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:10 Party Election Broadcast 19:15 ITV News and Weather 19:25 Referendum Broadcast on Behalf of the No Campaign 19:30 You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Dales 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Case Sensitive 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:14 Meridian Weather

CASE SENSITIVE Part one of two. New DS Charlie Zailer finds herself working with DC Simon Waterhouse for the first time when Geraldine Bretherick and her five-year-old daughter Lucy are found dead in the bathroom of their luxury home, and the two argue about whether the case is one of murder, suicide or something more sinister.

23:15 Basic Instinct

23:00 Under Siege 2

C4

C5

00:10 The Football Factory 02:00 Dresden 04:40 Civilization: Is the West History?

05:35 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 06:00 Countdown 06:45 Yo Gabba Gabba!

07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 Frasier 09:35 Friends 10:05 Wife Swap USA 11:00 Relocation, Relocation 12:00 A Place by the Sea 13:05 Make Do & Mend 13:35 River Cottage Bites 13:50 Return of the Magnificent Seven 15:40 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:05 Referendum Broadcast on Behalf of the No Campaign 20:10 The Unofficial - Royal Wedding 21:00 Dambusters: Building the Bouncing Bomb

00:05 Misery 02:10 SuperCasino 04:55 Animal Rescue Squad 05:10 UEFA Europa League Highlights 06:00 Hana’s Helpline 06:10 The Milkshake! Show 06:35 Thomas & Friends 06:45 Roary the Racing Car 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Funky Valley 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 CSI: NY 13:55 Extraordinary Dogs 14:25 5 News Lunchtime 14:30 Home and Away 15:00 Neighbours 15:30 Ice Station Zebra 18:15 5 News at 5 18:15 Weather 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 Extraordinary Dogs 19:55 Referendum Broadcast on Behalf of the No Campaign 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 The Hotel Inspector 23:00 The Sweetest Thing

40

Tuesday 3rd May 00:20 The Graham Norton Show 01:15 MasterChef 02:15 Rock & Chips 03:15 Arctic with Bruce Parry 04:15 BBC News 04:30 Our World 05:00 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Animal 24:7 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Gastronuts 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Dead Gorgeous 17:30 Blue Peter 17:55 Shaun the Sheep 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 19:55 Referendum Broadcast on Behalf of the Yes Campaign 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Exile 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Party Election Broadcast 23:40 See You in Court BBC2 00:00 Party Election Broadcast 00:05 The Boys from Brazil 02:05 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 Reporters 04:00 BBC News 04:15 Close 05:00 Not Again Farley 06:30 Talkie Time 2 Compilation

07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Wibbly Pig 07:35 Little Robots 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Little Howard’s Big Question 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Trust Me I’m a Genie 08:40 League of Super Evil 08:50 Frankenstein’s Cat 09:00 Copycats 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Guess with Jess 10:30 Big & Small 10:45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10:50 Grandpa in My Pocket 11:05 Mightymites 11:20 Nuzzle and Scratch: Frock and Roll 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 13:55 Diagnosis Murder 14:40 Restoration Roadshow 15:10 To Buy or Not to Buy 15:55 Flog It! 16:40 Helicopter Heroes 17:25 Pointless 18:10 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 18:55 Referendum Broadcast on Behalf of the Yes Campaign 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Coast 21:00 Britain’s Next Big Thing 22:00 The Quite Remarkable David

Coleman 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight ITV 01:30 The Zone 03:35 UEFA Champions League Weekly 04:00 ITV Nightscreen 05:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain’s Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:25 Party Election Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 19:50 Referendum Broadcast on Behalf of the Yes Campaign 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Military Driving School 21:00 Countrywise 22:00 Case Sensitive 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

THE KING'S SPEECH: REVEALED Mark Logue, curator of the Logue family archive, embarks on a cross-continental journey to explore the life of his speech-therapist grandfather Lionel, whose work was celebrated in Oscar-winning drama The King's Speech. Along the way, he examines Lionel's diaries, which provide an insight into the life of King George VI in the turbulent years of the abdication crisis.

C4 00:55 4thought.tv 01:00 The Event 01:55 Poker 03:00 The SS 03:55 Empire: How Britain Made the Modern World 04:50 Warlords 05:45 Codex 06:25 Hill Street Blues 07:15 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 09:55 Wife Swap USA 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Make Do & Mend 13:35 The TV Book Club 14:05 Jamie at Home 14:35 The Bounty Hunter 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:50 Referendum Broadcast on Behalf of the Yes Campaign 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 The Secret Millionaire 23:00 Campus C5 00:45 Barely Legal

02:30 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 08:55 Mio Mao 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Funky Valley 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 13:05 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:15 Confessions of a Young Bride 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:25 Referendum Broadcast on Behalf of the Yes Campaign 20:30 Highland Emergency 20:30 5 News Update 21:00 The King’s Speech: Revealed 21:00 5 News at 9 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 CSI: Miami 23:55 CSI: NY

41

Wednesday 4th May 00:30 The Lock Up 01:00 Trespass 02:45 Madagascar 03:45 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 04:45 Great British Railway Journeys 05:15 One Man and His Campervan 05:45 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Animal 24:7 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Gastronuts 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Trade Your Way to the USA 17:30 Blue Peter 17:55 Shaun the Sheep 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Waterloo Road 21:30 Life of Riley 22:00 Council Houses - Cheats and Victims: Panorama 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Would I Lie to You? BBC2 00:20 Party Election Broadcast 00:25 The Secrets of Scott’s Hut 01:55 HARDtalk 02:00 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News

03:30 The Record 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Rotary Young Citizen 2011 Awards 05:00 Schools: SEN Skills for Life 06:00 Wanna Be a Rockstar 06:30 Let’s Play with the Orchestra 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Wibbly Pig 07:35 Little Robots 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Little Howard’s Big Question 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Trust Me I’m a Genie 08:40 League of Super Evil 08:50 Frankenstein’s Cat 09:00 Copycats 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Guess with Jess 10:30 Big & Small 10:45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10:50 Grandpa in My Pocket 11:05 Mightymites 11:20 Nuzzle and Scratch: Frock and Roll 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 Car Booty 15:15 To Buy or Not to Buy 16:00 Flog It! 16:45 Helicopter Heroes 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 19:00 Eggheads

19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 Escape to the Country 21:00 Two Greedy Italians 22:00 Children’s Craniofacial Surgery 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight ITV 01:30 The Zone 03:30 Crossing Jordan 04:30 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain’s Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 UEFA Champions League Live 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time C4

WATERLOO ROAD

New series. Karen Fisher's return as head of the school proves eventful when new site manager Rob Scotcher discovers an abandoned baby on the premises. Eleanor Chaudry and Daniel Chalk adapt differently on their first day working at Waterloo Road, while Rob's son Aiden makes a memorable first impression on Jess and Vicki.

00:05 Misfits 01:05 UK & Ireland Poker Tour 02:05 Freesports on 4 02:30 The Grid 03:00 British Formula 3 International Series 03:25 KOTV Boxing Weekly 03:50 ITU Triathlon 04:45 FIVB Beach Volleyball 05:35 Rat Race Urban Adventure 06:05 Full Metal Challenge 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 Frasier 09:30 Friends 10:00 Wife Swap USA 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Make Do & Mend 13:35 The TV Book Club 14:05 Jamie at Home 14:35 Channel 4 Racing 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv 21:00 Vacation, Vacation, Vacation 21:30 Superscrimpers: Waste Not Want Not 22:00 Boudica’s Lost Tribe: A Time Team Special 23:00 Desperate Housewives

C5 00:55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 01:50 SuperCasino 05:00 Meals in Moments 05:10 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour 05:55 Animal Rescue Squad 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 08:55 Mio Mao 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:10 Funky Valley 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 13:05 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:15 Murder 101: Locked Room Mystery 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Zoo Days 21:00 Essex Jungle 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order: Criminal Intent 23:55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

42

Thursday 5th May 00:15 Invincible 01:55 See Hear 02:25 Watchdog 03:25 Country Tracks 04:25 Antiques Roadshow 05:25 BBC News 05:30 HARDtalk 06:00 The World Today 06:30 World Business Report 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Animal 24:7 10:55 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 16:05 Gastronuts 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Project Parent 17:30 My Life: Big Brother 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Weakest Link 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Watchdog 22:00 Inside the Human Body 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Question Time BBC2 00:20 Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle 00:50 The Quite Remarkable David Coleman 01:50 HARDtalk 02:00 BBC News 02:30 ABC World News with Diane Sawyer 03:00 BBC News 03:30 The Record 04:00 BBC News 04:30 Click 05:00 Wonders of the Universe 06:00 The Foods That Make

Billions 06:30 How to Build 07:00 Finley the Fire Engine 07:10 Zigby 07:25 Wibbly Pig 07:35 Little Robots 07:45 Charlie and Lola 08:00 Little Howard’s Big Question 08:25 Newsround 08:30 Trust Me I’m a Genie 08:40 League of Super Evil 08:50 Frankenstein’s Cat 09:00 Copycats 09:30 LazyTown 09:55 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 10:05 The Koala Brothers 10:15 Guess with Jess 10:30 Big & Small 10:45 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10:50 Grandpa in My Pocket 11:05 Mightymites 11:20 Dip Dap 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 The Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Nature’s Top 40 15:15 To Buy or Not to Buy 16:00 Flog It! 16:45 Helicopter Heroes 17:30 Pointless 18:15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Menu 20:00 The Great Estate: The Rise & Fall of the Council House

21:00 22:00 23:00 23:30

The Animal’s Guide to Britain The Shadow Line Psychoville 2 Newsnight

ITV 00:35 Long Lost Family 01:35 The Zone 03:35 Kojak: the Marcus Nelson Murders 06:00 ITV Nightscreen 06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Meridian News and Weather 15:00 60 Minute Makeover 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Meridian Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Britain’s Best Dish 19:00 Meridian Tonight 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Human Rights and Wrongs: Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Long Lost Family 23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather 23:30 Meridian Tonight and Weather 23:35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Ann Widdecombe

THE SHADOW LINE DI Jonah Gabriel returns to work after suffering a serious injury and starts to investigate the death of one of the UK's biggest crime lords, who was murdered just hours after being released from prison. Meanwhile, Joseph Bede, who worked for the deceased, is also keen to discover who killed his boss.

C4 00:05 The Big C 00:40 Being N-Dubz in America and Beyond 01:10 The Album Chart Show Introduces: Hurts 01:25 Abbey Road Debuts 01:45 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 02:00 Mercury Prize Sessions 02:15 Wakestock Festival 02:40 Six Degrees of Separation 04:30 Ugly Betty 05:15 Hill Street Blues 06:10 Countdown 06:55 Sali Mali 07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Frasier 09:25 Friends 09:55 Wife Swap USA 10:55 Relocation, Relocation 11:55 A Place by the Sea 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Make Do & Mend 13:35 The TV Book Club 14:05 Jamie at Home 14:35 Channel 4 Racing 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 4thought.tv

21:00 Three in a Bed 22:00 Jackpots and Jinxes: Lottery Stories 23:00 David Walliams’ Awfully Good Movie Moments C5 00:55 Poker: Aussie Millions 01:50 SuperCasino 05:05 Meals in Moments 05:10 Brian Sewell’s Grand Tour 05:55 County Secrets 06:10 Wildlife SOS 06:35 House Doctor 07:00 Thomas & Friends 07:10 The Beeps 07:20 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 07:35 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 07:40 Rupert Bear 07:50 Peppa Pig 07:55 Milkshake! Music Box 08:00 Little Princess 08:15 The Mr Men Show 08:30 Thomas & Friends 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:40 Olivia 09:50 The WotWots 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:05 Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 13:05 Meals in Moments 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:20 Law & Order 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Vanessa Show 16:05 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:15 Hush 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:25 How Do They Do It? 20:55 Live UEFA Europa League Football 23:00 Cobra

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Friday, April 29, 2011

SPORT ON THE BOX All the top sport on TV in your Good News paper Saturday, April 30th Gillette Soccer Saturday Sky Sports News 1:00pm to 7:00pm Jeff Stelling presents coverage of the goals from up and down the country in today's matches. He is joined by an expert panel who will be lending their views and opinions.

Sunday, May 1st Ford Super Sunday Sky Sports 1 5:00pm to 7:30pm Manchester City v West Ham United.

Manchester City take on West Ham at Eastlands in the Barclays Premier League. A win for the Blues will help their push for a top four finish, while the Hammers fight to avoid relegation.

MCE British Superbikes British Eurosport2 6:30pm to 8:00pm The 2011 MCE Insurance British Superbike

Championship opening round from the Brands Hatch Indy Circuit in Kent.

Monday, May 2nd International Cricket Sky Sports 3 3:30pm to 11:30pm West Indies v Pakistan 4th Odi. West Indies host Pakistan in the fourth ODI at the Kensington Oval. Both teams boast an explosive line-up of players, capable of entertaining the Barbados crowd.

Tuesday, May 3rd Madrid Masters Sky Sports 1 2:00pm to 9:00pm Atp Masters 1000 - Madrid D2.

Day two of the Madrid Masters from the Magic Box Tennis venue. Home favourite Rafael Nadal won the title last year, beating Roger Federer in straight sets in the final.

MOUR THE MERRIER Jose’s special reserves hit Valencia for six LONG BALLS

by Malcolm Palmer FOLLOWING their intense, exciting Copa del Rey final victory against all-conquering BARÇELONA, you could have been forgiven for expecting REAL MADRID to suffer at the hands of third-placed VALENCIA back in the Mestalla on Saturday.

But even though Jose Mourinho played only two of his cup-winning side, they still put half-a-dozen goals past their opponents.

The 3-6 scoreline the highest of the season, with Gonzalo Higuain (3), Kaká (2) and Karim Benzema finding the net. Barça, meanwhile, virtually made sure of the league title by beating OSASUNA 2-0.

In their attempt to equalise at SEVILLA, where they suffered a 3-2 defeat, fourth-placed VILLARREAL had to battle with the crowd and the ball-boys, who kept throwing balls onto the pitch as the play went the visitors’ way. The unacceptable face of football!

A tight Basque derby saw ATHLETIC BILBAO run out 2-1 winners over REAL SOCIEDAD, with teenage star Muniain well to the fore.

In England, MANCHESTER UNITED again benefited from a late Hernandez goal to take the points against EVERTON – and now look good for the title. Chelsea, their only possible rivals, easily beat WEST HAM 3-0, Fernando Torres at last getting a goal.

This sends the East Enders to the bottom, though their lugubrious manager Avram Grant insists they can survive. We shall see.

ARSENAL blew their faint title chances when they lost 2-1 to BOLTON, and Kenny Dalglish’s young LIVERPOOL side stuck five past BIRMINGHAM. It’s all looking a bit crowded in the battle to avoid relegation, with nobody in the bottom half of the league really safe as yet.

Who will replace the unfortunate relegated teams is far from clear, except that one of three will certainly be QUEENS PARK RANGERS, for whom new wonder-boy Adel Taarabt finds scoring pretty easy – he’ll probably be the subject of a few offers in the summer.

Finally, congratulations to BRIGHTON AND HOVE ALBION for winning what we old-fashioned types still call the Third Division.

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Friday, April 29, 2011

AWNINGS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

BAR 4 SALE Local Spanish & English Bar Well Known 100,000€ Call 679 096 309

THE SPIRITUALIST CHURCH, QUESADA Meets at Sociedad Compas, 14 Calle de Toledo, Quesada. We hold a Sunday Service at 11.30 a.m., a Tuesday Evening of Mediumship at 7.30 p.m.

And every Thursday there is an Open Circle where you can develop your skills commencing at 7.30 p.m.

Spiritual healing is available every Sunday and Tuesday after the service. Jackie Lewis will take the Divine Service on Sunday, 1st May. There will be an Evening of Mediumship with Morag Bullock on Tuesday, 3rd May, followed by a Divine Service with Deanna Sparks on Sunday 8th May. Everybody welcome.

Contact Wendy on 965323028. (11)

FOR SALE Kymco Zing 125cc chopper style motorbike for sale.

Year 2000, ITV until 2013, 5707 Kms with 2 helmets, lock, jacket. Only 700 euros.

622 208 934 (11) BH Bikes Spirit carbon framed racing bike. Almost new. Shimano 105 gears and components. Large adult frame. 300 euros. 622 208 934 (11)

FURNITURE

CAR MECHANICS

conveniently located in the town centre of Torrevieja, with a small sun balcony overlooking the lovely communal pool. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 06, A Beautiful town centre apartment conveniently situated in Torrevieja close to town centre amenities and a short walk to the beautiful sandy beaches.

Short or long term rental available.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 78, South facing 3 bedroomed property situated injardin Del Mar VII, with communal pool nearby.

Close to amenities. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 52 (Long Term Only) Three bedroom 2nd floor terrace house in Aguas Nuevas. The property benefits from large lounge, fully fitted kitchen and a downstairs shower room.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 112, Spacious 3 bedroom detached villa with its private pool is located on the El Raso urbanisation near Guardamar. Convenient for all amenities, shops, supermarket, restaurants and bars. Short or long term rental available.

Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11)

PROPERTY FOR SALE

CHURCH SERVICES International Christian Assembly. Calle Pilar de Horadada 5, Torrevieja.

Evangelical non-denominational. Sunday services 11:00am. Children’s Church 11:00am. House groups in Torrevieja, Los Balcones, San Javier. Ladies meeting Thursdays 11:00am. Pastor, Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome 966 799 273 // 660 127 276.

PROPERTY FOR RENT Viva Villa and Vacation Services, For Short or Long Term Rentals visit: or Call: 966 707 188 or 626 397 397 (11) Ref: 64, Two bedroom 1st floor apartment. Located in the very popular area of Aguas Nuevas, close to all amenities. Short or long term rental available.

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Viva Villa and Vacation Services are pleased to offer property sales for the Torrevieja and Oriheula areas of the Costa Blanca, Spain.

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45

Friday, April 29, 2011

A BIRD'S EYE VIEW OF SPORT Welsh rare-hit Giggs - the red dragon without fire DONNA GEE ANYONE who thought Welsh football wizard Ryan Giggs would end his self-imposed international retirement and play in last month's clash with England must have been dreaming.

Because when it comes to the Land of His Fathers, Giggs and patriotism have never been particularly close partners.

I’m a big football fan. I am also proudly Welsh. But when it comes to Giggs and his contribution to his country’s cause, that’s where I grab my little red ranting hood.

When our best player Gareth Bale had to drop out of the squad for the England game, the cry went up for Manchester United legend Giggs to step in.

The golden boy may be 37, but he is still as good as, if not better than, any player in Gary Speed’s Wales squad. At least he is when he’s playing for Sir Alex Ferguson’s mob!

The problem is that throughout his career, the Cardiff-born star’s loyalty to the land of his birth has been tenuous, to say the least. And there was as much chance of him saying yes to playing against England as there was of Speed calling ME into the squad!

Giggs opted out of international football three years ago - and Wales said goodbye to a tragic dragon rather than the magic one who has graced Old Trafford for the last two decades.

For me, it was a case of good riddance because I can count his outstanding performances for his country on one hand, if not one finger.

Those who do not know the full facts believe Giggs chose to play for Wales rather than England. The reality is that our Ryan was born in Wales of Welsh parentage and has absolutely no English blood.

So the option was never there…even though he did qualify for England Schools courtesy of being educated in Manchester (where I am assured Welsh was not on the curriculum).

Look at the contribution Giggs has made to his ‘beloved’ Wales since leaving his native Cardiff at the age of seven and beginning to speak more like a Salford scally than a true Taff.

Like me and millions of other Welsh patriots, I’m sure he is proud of his blood line. But the reality is that everything about Ryan, from his upbringing to his education and subsequent career, is pure English.

I was born in Birmingham but my Welsh father and English mother moved back to Wales when I was a baby and I will always by loyal to the country I regard as my homeland. Giggs is almost the reverse of this…so it would not surprise me if his loyalty to Wales outside football is a little flimsy.

I cannot imagine he supports Glamorgan in the County Cricket Championship, for example, as I do. And I can't see him getting carried away with Celtic emotion when Wales play England in rugby's Six Nations.

Admittedly, the guy has played some blinders for United and is right up there with the greats of the Premier League. But all those comparisons with George Best are ridiculous - George had tricks Giggs couldn’t live with and unlike his Welsh counterpart, he could do them with both feet.

The thing that irks me about Giggs’ Wales career is that when he condescended to don the REAL red shirt, he invariably either went

through the motions or developed a mysterious injury which incredibly cleared up before United’s next game.

For nine years from 1991 he refused to play for Wales in friendlies - missing 18 matches, many of them important build-up games towards major tournament qualifiers. Had he played in even half of those, our 49-year spell without qualifying for a major tournament might well have ended years ago.

Patriotic Taffies simply do not refuse to play for their country without a very good reason. Mind you, it might all have been at Sir Alex’s instigation. Now that is a thought.

I’ll have a think about that one...then maybe I’ll grab my hair-dryer and head for Old Trafford.

THE FOOTY RUMOUR MILL All the transfer rumours first in CHELSEA TO CLEAR OUT OLD GUNS

Kaka' - Real Madrid - £5M + Essien.

Kevin De Bruyne - Genk - £6M

SPORT!

Swans go up. If not, King's second choice is Cardiff.

And who’s getting the boot…?

Jon Obi Mikel - Inter Milan - £13.2M Florent Malouda - Liverpool - £14M Jose Bosingwa - Juventus - £7M Paulo Fereirra - Fc Porto - £3M Nicolas Anelka - NY Red Bulls - £7.5M Hilario - Released Michael Mancienne - QPR - £3M Michael Essien - Real Madrid - Kaka+ £5M. Fabio Borini - Swansea - £3M Salamon Kalou - Tottenham - £6M

Transfer news around the leagues: Some of the players named in the PFA Awards team of the seasons have been in talks and some have even signed pre contracts.

The rumour mill is working well this week with a Courier EXCLUSIVE on Chelsea’s transfer plans for the summer as Roman Abramovich cuts his losses and, once again, puts his hand in his pocket.

Chelsea Transfers Ins: Tomas Kalas - Stigma Oloumuc - £5M. Matej Delac - Inter Zaprestic - £3M. Lucas Piazon - Santos - £8M. Neymar - Santos - £26M

-Damien Batt has held talks with Yeovil Town about a £170,000 move.

-Danny Graham has rejected talks to sign a new contract with Watford and has held in recent weeks talks with Nancy in France. He has also held talks with Stoke City.

-Young Jimmy Ryan has told John Coleman that he wants to leave Accrington and join Shrewsbury Town, of whom he has held talks with. Accy are set to name a hefty price tag on the scouser which may put The Shrews off. Ryan is also wanted by Carlisle United, Plymouth Argyle, Torquay United and Ipswich Town.

-Kyle Naughton is wanted

by Chelsea and has already spoken to Carlo Ancelotti about a possible transfer.

-Andy King of Leicester has spoken to a number of Premier League clubs but has stated to Sven he his keen to join up with Swansea City. Brenden Rodgers sees King as a fantastic transfer if the

-Wanted midfielder Nicky Law, is out of contract with Rotherham United and has signed a pre contract with Middlesbrough.

-After recently signing for Charlton, Bradley Wright-Phillips is on the move again. The ex Man City forward is keen to hold talks with Ipswich Town. Surprisingly, Rochdale are also in the hunt to try and sign the striker.

Newcastle will test how much Liverpool want Enrique, saying that they want jay spearing and 15 million

46

Friday, April 29, 2011

SPORTS ROUND-UP Golf

OUR CUP OF TEE! England golf glory as Westwood rules world with Donald at No.3

With Mick Hardy from Kidease

Louisiana. European Tour and Asian Tour: Ballantine's Championship , Blackstone Resort, Seoul, South Korea.

Cycling

Historic hat-trick for Gilbert Brilliant Belgian makes it three from three

THE Heritage tournament still had two hours to run when Brandt Snedeker came from nowhere to post a sevenunder-par 64 in South Carolina on Sunday.

So he headed inside to watch, wait and see how things developed – and eventually found himself winning a play-off with England’s Luke Donald.

"It was brutal," said Nashville-born Snedeker of his time in front of the TV. "I don't want them to do bad, but I don't want them to do great either."

In the end, Snedeker survived against one of the world's best in a gritty three-hole play-off for his second career PGA Tour win. "It's a storybook ending really, to be playing Luke in a playoff, to even have a chance to win was exciting to me," he added.

Donald would have risen to No.1 in the official world rankings had he won the Heritage. Instead, his fellow countryman Lee Westwood moved from No. 2 to replace Martin Kaymer as No.1 after winning the Indonesian Masters earlier on Sunday.

Donald saved par from difficult spots on the 71st and 72nd holes to force the playoff, then did it again on the second extra hole. But his luck ran out at the closing lighthouse hole when his chip for par from just off the green hit the back edge of the cup and bounced away.

Westwood marked his 38th birthday with a final-round 69 in Jakarta to clinch the title by three strokes from Thongchai Jaidee of Thailand.

Starting the day holding a five-shot lead, he carded four birdies and one bogey to finish on 19 under par. Jaidee shot a superb 65 while Marcus Both, Siddikur, Park Hyun-bin and Thithphun Chuayprakong tied for third on 13 under.

Westwood was relaxed over his return to top spot. "It was about coming here this week and trying to win the Indonesian Masters and I've done that," he said.

Meanwhile, Nicolas Colsaerts coasted to his first European Tour victory - a four-shot success at the Volvo China Open.

More than ten years after turning pro on his 18th birthday, the big-hitting Belgian finally realised his potential with a closing six-under-par round of 66.

That left him 24 under for the week and well clear of his closest challengers - Spain’s Pablo Martin, New Zealander Danny Lee, Ireland’s Peter Lawrie and Søren Kjel of Denmark.

New No.1 bares his Seoul

LEE WESTWOOD is guaranteed a hero's welcome in Korea this week as the first current world golf No.1 to play in the country.

He will be the star attraction in a stellar field teeing up in the Ballantine's Championship, which begins on Thursday at Blackstone Golf Club near Seoul.

"I'm delighted to be coming to the tournament as world No.1," he said after Sunday’s Indonesian Masters victory had lifted him into top spot.

"Being top of the official rankings makes me feel very proud and I'm sure Korea's knowledgeable and passionate golf fans are aware of the hard work and dedication it takes to reach that position.

"I'm very much looking forward to the tournament and hopefully I'll give the galleries plenty to cheer about in the coming days."

This Weekend’s Golf Events LPGA Tour: Avnet LPGA Classic , RTJ Golf Trail, Magnolia Grove, The Crossings, Mobile, Alabama, USPGA Tour: Zurich Classic of New Orleans , TPC Louisiana, Avondale,

Philippe Gilbert claimed a remarkable hat-trick of Ardennes Classics successes by outsprinting the Schleck brothers to win Liege-Bastogne-Liege. The Belgian – who had romped to victories at both the Amstel Gold Race and Fleche Wallonne in the previous seven days – broke away with his equally high-profile rivals on the Côte de la Roche aux Faucons and then produced one of his trademark late kicks.

“It’s the most beautiful day in my sporting life,” said an understandably emotional Gilbert. “It’s a race I have dreamed of winning for years and when I passed my home village near the end it was something very special and gave me even more motivation.

“The race went perfectly for me and I’ll make sure I now appreciate every moment.”

Andy Schleck admitted the better man had won on the day, conceding: "There was nothing that we could do. Gilbert is just a classy rider."

Rigoberto Urán claimed a top-five finish for Team Sky, 24 seconds behind, while defending champion Alexandre Vinokourov (Astana) was almost two minutes off the pace due to picking up a late puncture.

Motorcycling

Estoril’s twowheel invasion

PREMIER & LA LIGA FIXTURES Premier League Saturday, 30 April Blackburn v Bolton, 17:00 Blackpool v Stoke, 17:00 Sunderland v Fulham, 17:00 West Brom v Aston Villa, 17:00 Wigan v Everton, 17:00 Chelsea v Tottenham, 19:30 Sunday, 1 May Birmingham v Wolverhampton, 13:00 Liverpool v Newcastle, 13:00 Arsenal v Man Utd, 16:05 Man City v West Ham, 18:10

La Liga Sunday, 1 May Almeria v Sevilla, 17:00 Deportivo La Coruna v Atletico Madrid, 17:00 Espanyol v Athletic Bilbao, 17:00 Levante v Sporting Gijon, 17:00 Malaga v Hercules, 17:00 Osasuna v Valencia, 17:00 Racing Santander v Mallorca, 17:00 Real Madrid v Real Zaragoza, 17:00 Real Sociedad v Barcelona, 17:00 Villarreal v Getafe, 17:00

Cricket LV COUNTY CHAMPIONSHIP Division One Durham: 292 & 210 (57.1 overs) Sussex: 194 & 309-8 (104.5 overs) Sussex beat Durham by 2 wickets Lancashire: 451 (137.1 overs) Somerset: 268 & 163 (53.3 overs) Lancashire beat Somerset by an innings and 20 runs Worcestershire: 375 & 199 (58.2 overs) Warwickshire: 201 & 461-8 (139.0 overs) Warwickshire beat Worcestershire by 88 runs Yorkshire: 336 & 86 (30.3 overs) Nottinghamshire: 143 & 337 (114.1 overs) Nottinghamshire beat Yorkshire by 58 runs

AFTER an extended break in the MotoGP calendar, the premier class returns to action at the Grande Prémio de Portugal this weekend. And there is plenty to watch out for at Estoril in round three of the World Championship.

The event – the 14th time Portugal has staged a MotoGP - comes almost four weeks after the Jerez round, the extended break being due to the postponement of the Japanese GP until October.

There was no shortage of talking points following round two in southern Spain, where defending World Champion Jorge Lorenzo took his first win of 2011 in the wet. He was followed onto the podium by Dani Pedrosa, struggling with his recovering left arm, and Nicky Hayden.

Casey Stoner’s failure to finish the race after being taken down in an incident involving Valentino Rossi merely added to what was a highly eventful race at Jerez. Rossi managed to remount his bike and finish fifth.

LV COUNTY CHAMPIONSHIP Division Two Derbyshire: 154 & 403 (110.1 overs) Middlesex: 230 & 329-7 (93.2 overs) Middlesex beat Derbyshire by 3 wickets Glamorgan: 395 & 198-4 (69.0 overs) Surrey: 575-7 (160.0 overs) Glamorgan drew with Surrey

47

Friday, April 29, 2011

ANGEL’S PLAY-OFF HEAVEN

Diaz treble has Elche soaring

ÁNGEL celebrates his hatrick- here he has just converted his 83rd minute penalty FOTO MARK WELTON

ELCHE 3

by DAN SMITH

ÁNGEL Luis Rodríguez Díaz - or Ángel for short - made short work of 16thplaced Huesca in a game which never looked like ending in anything but a home win.

Elche looked sharp and precise from the off, while Huesca were moody and uncertain. But it still took 29 minutes to settle Elche’s nerves when Albacar’s corner was helped on by Generelo for Ángel at the back post to loop a header over stagnant keeper Andrés.

The visitors provided little threat during the first half although they could have gone into the break level

after clipping the Elche post more by good luck than impressive play.

Huesca showed some improvement early in the second half but it was short lived. Then referee Del Cerro Grande came into his own and yellow cards rained before Kike Mateo saw his second on 62 minutes and was sent off.

Ref Grande was convinced the Elche player had dived after a one-on-one with keeper Andrés but Mateo’s departure didn’t change manager Bordalás’s tactics.

His ten-man team continued looking for a second goal – and it duly came in the 72nd minute. Áfter some neat ‘ticki-tacki’ with new signing

HUESCA 0 Cristóbal, Angel took on two hesitant vital play-off points for Bordalas’s Huesca defenders and from just inside boys in a week when they lost key the area slammed Elche 2-0 in front. winger Palanca for up to eight weeks Elche entered their habitual ‘hot with a ruptured calf muscle. spot’ with just 10 minutes remaining, And with their next match away at Ángel, Xumetra and Ripa all coming 19th-placed Salamanca, they will be close. But this was Angel’s day – and hoping for another victory to further when the 24-year-old hero of the after- strengthen their promotion challenge. noon was Getafe Get Rich upended in the 83rd minute, he picked himself Just like in the English Premier League, the Arabs are showing up to complete an interest in the Primera Liga, and Getafe is the club that has his hat-trick fallen under their petro-dollar power. Suleiman al Butti (with a from the penal- name like that, he probably wouldn’t dare buy a club in the North of England) is to be the new owner of Madrid’s third-ranked club. ty spot. Ángel’s treble When we all learn how to use solar power properly, and the sealed three Saudis go bust, then what? Answers, please, on a postcard.

48

Friday, April 29, 2011

Hercules 1 – Deportivo La Coruña 1

TIAGO GIVES HERCULES A LIFELINE

NINE clubs sweating over La Liga drop

TAIGO Gomes celebrates the games only goal Photo: MARK WELTON

By Malcolm Palmer THINGS are desperate now at the foot of the Primera Liga table, with none of the bottom NINE teams safe from relegation as they battle for crucial points.

So a weekend visit from Deportivo was always going to be a tense affair for Hercules, with both teams – and the home side especially – needing a win.

Almost 20,000 spectators saw the Alicante side welcome back Farinós and influential captain Peña, with Nelson Valdez was relegated to the bench.

Depor went straight onto the attack, Xisco shooting wide. At the other end, crosses from Kiko and then Cortés failed to find the head of David Trezeguet, while Royston Drenthe saw a fierce shot blocked after 13 minutes - and then saw a yellow card for a reckless tackle.

Abel Aguilar came to the fore in several attacks, just failing to get a header through to Trezeguet. Peña also

failed to find the Frenchman, his 20thminute cross being turned aside for a corner.

Deportivo were awarded a free kick in a dangerous position, but could make nothing of it. But when Drenthe appeared to be pushed in the Depor penalty box, the official waved play on.

Six minutes before half-time, the referee looked a long way from the action as he failed to spot a blatant Depor handball in the area. The home crowd were not best pleased.

Kiko saw a shot deflected just wide as half time approached, and immediately swapped wings with Drenthe, who fired a free-kick into Aranzubia’s grasp.

Honours had been just about even over the first 45 minutes, but Hercules could count themselves unfortunate not to have been awarded at least one spot kick.

A low shot from Tiago Gomes was saved by the Gallegos’ keeper early in the second half. Drenthe then had successive corners and was causing problems in the visitors’ defence. But it was Kiko who finally did the real damage.

The young winger took a pass from the active Trezeguet and ran the ball to the byline before hitting a fine cross which Tiago headed home for his first goal of the season. 1-0 to Hercules with 60 minutes gone.

The home defence had never been troubled up to this point but nevertheless Sendoa replaced a tired Farinós and then an even more weary Kiko, who had covered what seemed many miles, was substituted by veteran Rufete. The youngster received a great ovation as he left the field.

Trezeguet’s shot flew just over the bar as Hercules tried to counter-attack to relieve Deportivo pressure as the minutes ticked away, But there was anxiety at the other end, Sendoa almost putting the ball into his own net as desperate clearances became the order of the day. But they held out to clinch a deserved three points which give them a small chance of survival.

Hercules’ next fixture, away to direct rivals Málaga, will be a testing one, but then they have two successive ‘winnable’ home games. Fingers crossed!