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Guiding Factors: Participate & Learn Check need & modify
Conflict an overview... A conflict emerges when Fear & Desires seem to get impacted. When, we do not get something we want. We get something we do not want. Conflict emerges when needs are unmet. Thus concerned person OWN the problem & initiate its resolution. Conflict has (+) value if it excites to act & improves cohesiveness Must diffuse conflicts when issues, ideas & people are important.
Visualize scope & causes of Conflict… Once, long ago, seven blind men and their teacher went to “see” an elephant The teacher directed each of them to different parts of the elephant
Enjoy The Illusions
What is conflict? Myth
It is dysfunctional, avoid it & it will go away, produces win / loose situations. Truth
• It is inevitable but manageable. • Can build relationships, • Can be a motivator for change
Usually, the conflict occurs under the following circumstances: All disputants have goals that they cannot achieve on their own. Disputants have to communicate, interact, keep relationships in order to achieve their goals Each disputant expects the opponent to behave favorably in achieving his goals. Opponent is not aware of the expected behavior & behaves according to his own goals. This behavior is at variance with expected one.
Sources of conflict‌ Your Interpretation of others behaviors
Behaviors of Others
Your Interpretation of your own identity
Fear from Conflicts & steps to respond to it... (1) Fear of the unknown. (2) Fear of our own feelings/feelings of others. (3) Fear of lack of personal control/personal skills. Fear that things will get worse. Fear of not being liked. Responding to conflict involves making a series of choices with solving the problem as the goal. It’s using a combination of assertive & non-aggressive tools to be successful.
Explore the situation… In ABC corporation, Mr. Mahesh is highly upset with his Boss Mr. Dave after the performance appraisal. Mahesh thought of being rated excellent and recommended for promotion, where as he was rated to be “Very Good” only. Mr. Dave appreciates Mahesh and his work but due to Org directives had to trim down the ratings. Mr. Mahesh sees that his chances of promotion are ruined. Moreover some of his friends may get promoted this year it self. Though he wanted to speak to his Boss and his superior, to know the basis of the rating, however as he is highly disturbed, he thought a meeting may worsen the situation. Surely stress is noticed between the two by both as well as others. Both do not like the stressful situation and feel that resolving the issue is essential to bring harmony into their work environment else all will suffer. Help Mr. Dave and Mahesh to handle this uneasy situation.
Benefits from Conflict Creative thinking: When you manage a conflict in ways that foster healthy debate rather than personal attacks, you stimulate innovation. Confidence : When the end result of conflict is productivity rather than destruction, you get confidence that you can work through differences with others in a positive manner. Competence: You gain skills crucial to effective conflict resolution, such as framing conflicts as joint problem-solving situations, not personal attacks, & communicating your desired outcomes clearly.
Brainstorm All Possible Solutions Cake Cutting Exercise You are in charge of a Birthday party for four Children. You have one Cake and need to cut it in 4 equal parts. Brainstorm with your partner How many different ways you could cut it. Car Sharing Solution You and your spouse have one car. You need to go to a meeting tonight, and your spouse wants to visit a good friend. How many solutions can you come up with? Look at things from another’s perspective and try to see their point of view and look for a solution that meets both underlying needs.
Impact of Conflicting stances… Conflict : Parties have Goal Directed behavior, Dependence & there is a Variance between expected and actual behavior.
Get irritated but keep quiet & give "silent" treatment?
Withdraw to a safe distance as we don't like to argue?
Get angry, criticize, & resort to aggressive behaviour?
Be submissive in order to avoid conflict.
Deny & show that "everything is okay“ no conflict exists. FIGHT
FIGHT
FLIGHT
FLOW
Tough VS. Tender Behaviour Tough is not mean, Tender is not weak. You have to be able to utilize both styles as situations dictate. Every conflict will call for an individual assessment of the situation to determine the appropriate combination. Assertive: Meet your own needs while respecting rights of others. Tough means: Goal oriented, forceful, rule bound, logical, consistent, focused, conservative and determined. Tender means: Receptive, open minded, understanding, tolerant, unselfish, spontaneous.
Tough Behaviour is appropriate when: 1. Output is critical. 2. There can be no debate. 3. A non-negotiable deadline exists. 4. Resources are limited. 5. Ethical, moral, legal values at stake. 6. When competition is keen. 7. When someone has to take charge. 8. A decision has been made & must be carried out.
Tender Behaviour is appropriate when 1. There are several acceptable ways to get things done. 2.People have hurt feelings over significant issues. 3.The situation is complex & understanding will require substantial effort. 4.Danger of seeking too much of approval... The more you need approval of other people, the more you can be manipulated by them.
Conflict needs to be handled
Six steps to handle conflict 1. Create and maintain a bond even with your adversity 2. Establish a dialogue and negotiate 3. Put the fish on the table 4. Understand what causes conflict 5. Use law of reciprocity 6. Build a positive relationship
Competing
Collaborating
Compromising Unassertive
ASSERTIVENESS
Assertive
Dealing with conflict Successfully
Avoiding
Accommodating Good old lessons in teamwork from an age-old fable
Uncooperative
Cooperative COOPERATIVENESS
The Tortoise And The Hare
Confrontation: How to initiate it? (1) “Right now the situation is that…” (2) “The problem that this causes is…” (3) “The concern I have about this is…” (4) “I’d like to see…I’d like to suggest…” (5) “It’s my understanding that we have now agreed to…”
Resolving Conflict: 4 Ways to a Win-Win Solution Role Clarity (Seek & Give)
Walk the Talk
Be Prompt & Accurate
Emotional Stability
It’s Time to say…
Perspective Building…. Individual is a Bunch of Roles made up of KSA I - Role = Empty & Role – I = Ineffective. I needs Goals to use KSA, Develop & be Productive. Effectiveness = Achieving preset Goals. Goal Achievement demands handling Frenemies, & NPNs. Thus higher the productivity more the conflict.
Managerial Responsibility: Remaining Productive Managers have to Achieve the Functional Goals. We Must Understand the policies of Top Mgt. & Follow them. But at times We: Strive to achieve our Goals in isolation & become Counter-Productive. This creates Functional-Myopia. At times We also start Acting Cross-Purposes.