may 31
2010 Friends With Benefits Sharon McConnell-Feanny Mind.Body.Spirit A Pearl & Glove Affair: Kimberley and Shanique’s Birthday
Quote of The Week “Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter.” – Bono
Editor’s Note Hi Readers, From exuberance as a youth to wisdom as she grows older, Sharon has benefitted on both ends of the spectrum and shares with us her initial dream of opening the first Yoga center in Jamaica to transforming it into a full mind, body and fitness workout center. Also, continue reading to see Your Style out and about at a vintage Birthday Party, plus more.
Cover & Cover Story Photography by Warren Buckle
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Friends
relationships
With Benefits
of doubt, while the chance of an actual relationship is a flickering light on some distant shoreline. Somewhat melodramatic but you get the point. A huge part of a “Benefits” arrangement is sex and traditionally women, more so than men, tend to attach a larger meaning to sexual interaction. It is hard to keep such an arrangement going without feelings developing and the struggle to contain them becomes that much harder. And when that struggle is lost, feelings are expressed through jealousy or otherwise, and the end of the arrangement is nigh.
I
f only “friends with benefits” means that a close associate could provide health insurance or paid maternity leave. Unfortunately, most times the term describes a relationship that is borne out of sheer denial by one party and quite possibly manipulation by the other. In fact, it’s an arrangement that is most times immediately identified as pointless and potentially harmful, except of course for the person proudly declaring him or herself in control of the situation. Yes, we’ve all been the condescending friend, but maybe just once or twice we’ve been the one saying one thing yet hoping passionately for the other. In anticipation of raised eyebrows and furrowed foreheads let us explore further.
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Of course, just to add some level of pragmatism into the argument, a broken heart is far from the worst thing that could happen to someone in such an arrangement. Not requiring fidelity from a partner is of course an easy way to put oneself at risk. But of course the argument could be made that the exaggerated sense of trust that occurs in seemingly monogamous relationships could also lead to similar risks. “Tomayto, tomahto”, I suppose… except for numbers reported in studies done in the US most notably by Tony Paik, a professor at the University of Iowa. In short, the studies show that relationships like these tend to increase the risk of serious health issues. It’s hard to tell the colour of the box from inside, but sometimes our friends and those around us can help us where this is concerned. Maybe sometimes we need to check our ego and evaluate whether this is a situation that can really be handled. Then again, with matters of the heart there is only so much that can be said, but hopefully matters of the heart can coexist with common sense sometimes. Just maybe. advertisment
The sparks fly, the sheets are ruffled and the afterglow has worn off before the realization dawns that it may be going absolutely nowhere.
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Firstly, most people end up in a “benefits” relationship without even realizing that they have entered into one. The sparks fly, the sheets are ruffled and the afterglow has worn off before the realization dawns that it may be going absolutely nowhere. But the sex is so good, the company even better and before you know it excuses are being made to keep whatever this thing is going. One such excuse is the “Friends with benefits” title. It gives some semblance that some control is being exerted over the situation and before long it becomes a life preserver in a sea
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Sharon McConnell-Feanny Mind.Body.Spirit
T
he barefooted lady exuding effortless effervescence as she made her way around the Shakti complex, chatting to everyone she passed along the way caught my attention almost immediately. Sharon McConnell-Feanny, Founder of Shakti Mind Body Fitness ushered me into an office obviously decorated to her tastes, where a sign on her notice board read, “Imagine with all your mind. Believe with all your heart. Achieve with all your heart”. The maker of the sign could easily have used the yoga instructor as his muse, since Sharon seems to embody the words perfectly. She refers to herself as “the black sheep” of her family. While her family members were extremely athletic and competitive, she was the complete opposite and absolutely hated working out.
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Sharon McConnell-Feanny Mind.Body.Spirit
At age 15, she discovered yoga and thought it suited her non-competitive personality. Through the confidence received form yoga, she felt she could do other things. “I went from being like the clumsiest kid who could never do any sports to winning triathlons,” said Sharon. “In 1995 I became a certified Yoga teacher and my dream was to open the first ever Yoga center in Jamaica, so when I came back [from overseas] I did just that,” related the mother of three. After dedicating almost five years of sweat and tears into growing a pure Yoga center, the realisation that Jamaica might not be big enough to support the venture dawned. On the brink of throwing in the towel and getting a ‘real’ job, a flash of insight added the fuel to Sharon’s fire. “One day it dawned on me to incorporate fitness classes into Shakti, as I was already doing so many other sporting activities at the time,” she explained. “To my surprise, it all went bananas; now everyone that comes to Shakti gets exposed to yoga in some way, whether through doing sculpting, spinning or Pilates.” “I remember when I first started out I had people coming up to me telling me that I was teaching devil worshiping, while there were others who thought it was for females,” said Sharon, about the many misconceptions about Yoga. “Many did not fully understand Yoga but the Yoga classes have never been this filled.” mind.body.spirit Shakti, which means divine energy, brings into focus the alignment of all aspects of a person, especially since Yoga is derived from the world “yony” which means to yoke or bring into union. The idea is to be absolutely healthy in mind, body and spirit and to have them all perfectly aligned. No one element should outweigh the other and this is what Sharon and her enthusiastic staff set out to achieve. “All the instructors here at Shakti have to have at least 500 hours of Yoga teacher training, and that is just at the beginner’s level, in order to teach here,” she said. Sharon credits much of Shakti’s success to the help she has received from the wonderful staff who she considers a big part of turning her dream into a reality. “I have worked really hard but I couldn’t have done it without them and that may be why I can’t wait to get here every day. I love this place,” she gushed. “What makes Shakti so special are the small group classes and the one on one individualistic relationships that we have with our clients,” said Sharon glowingly. “People here [Shakti] really feel like this is their home away from home, they are totally comfortable.”
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Sharon McConnell-Feanny Mind.Body.Spirit
At 45, with a husband and three children, Sharon makes it look easier than it actually is, but admits that juggling multiple activities has always come naturally to her. Keeping fit is a distinct priority for Sharon, who says she is at her Shakti office at 5:15 most mornings to work out before going back home to play the role of mommy. “I could not manage my life unless I was strong both mentally and physically,” she said. “Through exercise I clear my head and set my intentions for the day.” Life before Shakti While Shakti has been a source of happiness for Sharon, there were times before that almost proved to be her undoing. Her failed marriage and her parting with her first company, Starfish, were dark times indeed as Sharon revealed. “Walking away from Starfish was very painful, it was like leaving my child on the side of the road, excruciatingly difficult,” she said, as she paused. “It was a complete creation from my heart; I mourned the loss of it like you would that of a child. It goes to show that everything happens for a reason, as much as I loved Starfish, this is 10 times better.”
her first job as a spa manager at San Souci hotel. “I’ve always had a love for spa and spa treatment and I am definitely looking forward to the venture,” says the perfectly toned 45 year old. Sharon believes that there are two things that differentiate successful people from unsuccessful people; focus and determination. “If you are not focusing on what it is that you want every single day, then it is not going to work,” she stated. “And if you are not determined when the hard time comes and you hit the wall, when people pull you down, criticize you and when the building burns down you have to find the will power to rebuild it all, or your dream will never become a reality.” After all, who would have thought that Sharon would be making a living from Yoga? She fully believes that life is too short to waste any time meandering, so you have to find your passion and see how you can use that passion to fuel the rest of your life.
The way forward “I never gave up, even in the hardest of times, I’ve never given up,” she said. At present, Sharon is happy. She feels she is successful primarily because she has a fulfilling life. She is looking forward to the 2nd Annual Shakti Love Fest which is a Spinning, Yoga and Music Charity Festival, she believes it can be huge for Jamaica. It is her dream to take it to the same level as Reggae Sumfest and The Jamaican Jazz and Blues Festival. “My dream is for Jamaica not to just be known for crime and violence but for heath as well,” said Sharon. She has acceded to the fact that it will take a lot of work, but she is aptly prepared for it as nothing has ever come easy for her. She has recently acquired the neighbouring building, and if all goes according to plan, she will be opening her very own day spa, which has been another one of her dreams ever since
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A Pearl & Glove Affair
out & about
Kimberley and Shanique’s B’Day
Kimberley Dobson and Shanique Ellington celebrate their birthday together in “A Pearl & Glove Affair” - Vintage Photo Shoot with close friends and family.
Picture Perfect: Birthday girls Kimberley Dobson and Shanique Ellington.
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Shaniq Donav ue and Cous on Mar in shall
Shaniqu e and Dobso her co n usin
son Thomp ta-Gay e P d n ly a Kimber ose. p a e ik tr s nd boyfrie ith her w s te bra ley cele Kimber berts. o R Kemar
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her ver
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Kimber
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It ’s all s m brates iles as Shaniq with Sh ue cele an (left) an d Cand na-Kay Carley ace Co oke.
Shanique is serenaded by her boyfriend Richard Hamilton.
Sister S ister: S haniqu Ellingto e and o n. lde
r sister
Shanna
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