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december 13,2010 What to Give and Expect This Christmas Decorating Tips for the Holiday How to Just Be Friends

Quote of The Week “A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” -George Bernard Shaw

Editor’s Note Hi Readers,

‘Tis the season to be jolly indeed. Spaces and Your Style have collaborated to bring you some handy decorating tips that can add just the right accent to your holiday surroundings. Check out pieces from our contributors and more in this week’s issue of Your Style.

Live. Love. Laugh a Lot.

Click here to view past publications online Cover & Cover Story Photography by Ann Loy

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holidays

What to give and expect

This Christmas by Olivia Rose

“T

is the season to be jolly…” and while we should all strive to have a happy season, not all of us will experience it in the same way. In whatever way you experience this holiday, ensure that you take the time to reflect on 2010. Reflect not on the things you don’t have, but instead on the opportunities and successes you were privileged to experience and be grateful for the life lessons you learnt from the failures. May your reflection help to make the upcoming year a better one. Christmas is a time when many of us give and receive gifts from others. Such exchanges, especially tangible ones can make you feel loved and appreciated. However, not receiving any gifts can leave you so disappointed that you start wondering if you were on anybody’s Christmas list in the first place. In order to minimize such feelings of disappointment, we are encouraged to give all that we are capable of giving without reservation. As it relates to gifts this Christmas, we should try to understand our friends and family to get an idea of what they would like to receive. Often times, we give what we would like to receive ourselves and not gifts the receiver would like. A gift can prove to have much value, not solely based on how much it costs, but how much it means to the person who receives it. For some people, a very nice gift is offering to babysit their children during this busy season, for others it is jewellery. Others prefer to receive fragrance, some want a particular brand phone or shoes, while some just want you to spend quality time with them. In order to help you truly understand what type of gifts your loved ones would like, think about the gifts they are always giving you. If that doesn’t help much, you can also try asking them in whatever way you choose, whether it is directly or indirectly. What to expect should not be based on what you plan to give or what you have given. And even though we know this, we still set up ourselves with a long list of expectations from others. Then we also ask ourselves, what is wrong with having expectations of others to whom we are always giving? Absolutely nothing! But we don’t always give people the things they are expecting. In order to avoid disappointments, we should give what we can with a spirit of love and

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As it relates to gifts this Christmas, we should try to understand our friends and family and try to have an idea of what they would like to receive as gifts. as much as it is humanly possible, have little expectations of receiving gifts in return. A reasonable expectation that you can fulfill is treating yourself the way you would want to be treated, especially in the event that you are inadvertently left off someone’s list. If not, then don’t expect others to treat you the way you expect. Also, be specific about what you want. “Anything” as an answer to the question: “What do you want for this season?” is not saying much of anything at all. When you are specific about what you want, you make the job of those who are trying to fulfill your wishes much easier. Live having fewer expectations of others and more of yourself; after all, you are the only person who has always been with you. Remember that disappointments are often the result of frustrated expectations.

Happy Holidays and may all that you desire be yours. Olivia Rose Applied Sport Psychologist and Life Coach oliviakrose@yahoo.com

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Decorating Tips for the holiday by Nicolette Jones

raditionally, Christmas is a time of excess…excess decadence….excess decorating… excess food…excess spending.

Janelle Pantry, Managing Director of Spaces, shares some tips on how to make your home look like a million bucks even when you don’t have it.

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CHOOSE A COLOUR SCHEME

Think outside the box! Purple, blue and pink are hot colours for this season and turquoise is the colour of the year. Brighten your home this season and make a change from the traditional red and green..

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APPEARANCE IS EVERYTHING

Entertaining is a huge part of the Christmas season. Even if you are not a gourmet chef, a properly set table can make the most boring meals seem exotic. Having good cutlery, china wear and glasses are essential.

FAUX IS THE WAY TO GO

Faux flowers are a hit this Christmas; The brighter the colour, the bigger the leaf, the better. These inexpensive decorations make a bold statement and are multipurpose: they can be used to decorate trees, walls, the outside of the house, or to make arrangements. But, remember less is more!

DO SIMPLE THINGS

Candles and decorative stones can make the simplest table setting pop. These simple decorations make bold statements and can double as a dinner table centerpiece or a centre table feature.

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MIX IT UP

Instead of using plain, traditional garlands add your own flair. Lights, ribbons, faux flowers and any other decorations can be used to decorate a traditional garland to make it really stand out.

NO LIGHTS ? NO PROBLEM

We’re still experiencing the effects of a recession, so you may not be able to afford to decorate your home with Christmas lights. No worries! Ribbons, garlands and faux flowers are great substitutes for outside lights. Get creative and use decorations of different colours and textures.

NO TREE I SEE

If you don’t have a tree this year, why not get a poinsettia plant? They come in red and white and are relatively inexpensive. They’ll last even beyond the Christmas season.

Spaces is a home décor store located at Shop #53 Winchester Business Centre.

MAKEIT POP

Add a splash of colour to your couch or lounge chair. Use coloured throw cushions on your couch brightens your space and is an easy, inexpensive way to decorate your home.

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how to

JustBeFriends by Rev Elry

“H

e’s been my friend for as long as I can remember.” Call me old-fashioned or just a fuddy duddy, but true cross-gender friendships are about as rare to me as unicorns and almost as far-fetched as the Easter Bunny. Notice however, that when I imply that they are almost impossible, they are only just that…almost. There are instances of men and women forming long lasting platonic bonds that never blossom into anything else, but these are in the definite minority. The very fact that you find a person of the opposite sex interesting and appealing enough to form a friendship that finds you sharing and getting closer than even your significant other, is exactly the reason that you may be fooling yourself. What’s that? I’m being one-dimensional? Fine, if you are one of those that insist that it is indeed possible, I may as well make myself helpful and offer some tips that could make such a friendship more probable.

There are instances of men and women forming long lasting platonic bonds that never blossom into anything else, but these are in the definite minority. .

you want, need and hope to get out of such a friendship, and that there is mutual understanding between the two of you. I’ll say this unabashedly, he is not your friend if he would jump your bones in a heartbeat; he’s simply biding his time. Reduce sexual tension. Try not to be too touchy feely or feel the need to change or dress skimpily around your friend, unless of course he’s your GBF (gay best friend). Feelings are feelings and we are slave to them. If you’re always in need of a hug from your friend, he’s probably not your friend. Prevent situations that could be mistaken for something else. Sure, a night out with your friend is OK but there are some instances where it looks a lot like a date and there’s a reason why it does…because it is. Try not to give your significant other too much to think about. If you can employ these suggestions to good effect then you’re probably on your way, but remember I advise against it. And yes…I am one dimensional.

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Firstly, be honest with yourself. How do you really feel about the person? If you weren’t in a relationship would he be your first choice for a partner? Do you think about what a relationship would be like with them a little too often? Can you pick up feelings that might be a little romantically inclined? The answers to these questions normally come with some amount of naiveté and a whole lot of denial. If you can answer them truthfully and there are no alarm bells, then you may proceed to the next step. Define your relationship. The most successful cross-gender relations that I’ve come across usually come from failed attempts at relationships. This does get tricky as my grandmother always outlined the propensity of an old fire stick to relight quite easily. You must admit to yourself what exactly

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