VOLUME 4, ISSUE 14
APRIL 1, 2011
THE SPARTAN VOICE
WICHITA COLLEGIATE SCHOOL
Whatʼs in this
NEVER SAY NEVER . . .
Issue:
Prom theme changed . . .
Seriously?!! New theme for Prom. p. 1. More snow day make up days to be added; parents demand class time . . . p. 3 Google translate for animals Student Spotlight . . . p.3 Environmental science class conducts experiment: Water fountains confirmed to contain lead . . . p.2 Rent a Spartan . . . p.2 Powerschool database corrupted . . . p.4 New Collegiate Website App! take classes online at home . . . p. 4 Holy Gum Squad! Fiegel to reinstate mandatory gym class . . . p.5 How to take your sister to prom . . . 6 School uniform likely for next fall p 3
Bieber Fever strikes Mr. B! By Tara Kneller
After the faculty meeting on Tuesday, it was decided that the official prom theme of “Rave” was too expensive and too mature of a theme based on the drug implications that are associated with a “Rave”. Therefore Mr. Buettgenbach decided that the theme would be switched to a more age appropriate theme. “I have decided that it would be really exciting to go with a popular music icon as the theme, Justin Bieber! We felt that overall this would be a popular decision with the student body.” There will be many advantages to this new theme. Such as the playlist will be already decided. We will be featuring music from his two albums My World and Never say Never. Most students are ecstatic such as Lindsey Wells a junior
“I could never think of a better theme than this for my junior prom! I love Justin Bieber and I think it will be the best prom ever!!” However there are also a few complaints from some students “Well its kind of gay but I can understand why Mr. B made the decision. Plus I already bought my fluorescent suit.” Serjay Sambros says of the decision for the switch. Another reason that the Rave theme was vetoed by the faculty is the grinding and inappropriate dancing that would occur. The Justine Beiber theme would help the student body conduct theme selfs better with more family values. Other benefits to look forward to with the new JB theme, include complimentary Justin wigs for the guys! Get excited!
RENT A SPARTAN
By Jake Barrett
Alright, so you all most likely know about the fundraiser for Japan that Lily and I started, and you have been very generous so far, especially Paul’s bid of $100 on Joey. Just to go over what all of the rules are for bidding, you can bid up until the end of break on Friday (today), HURRY OVER THERE, and you must bid at least $5 more than the previous bidder. ALL proceeds go to Japan tsunami relief, so please be generous because it’s like just an up front donation to Japan, plus you still get a little servant for a day as a bonus. There are a few rules for the people who buy the person they bid on, and to receive a copy of these, go to the library and ask Mrs. Cunningham. Don’t get me wrong, you can still to a lot of funny and embarrassing things with your Spartan, such as having a leash attached to them and you walk them around, having them sing a song at lunch, having them eat lunch on the floor, having them bow to you before speaking whenever you are around, and many many other things. We really want to reach an average of $50 per person, which would give us a grand total of $800! We are over halfway there so far, so keep it up and, for the sake of repeating myself, BE GENEROUS. One tip that I have to give you is that you can pair up with a friend to split the price of a bid that is too high for either one of you to purchase. And lastly, we hope to do this in the future for other causes, so please don’t abuse the power you have to cause problems. If we do this FUNdraiser (yes…. I said it….) in the future, it will be for either other charities or new problems in the world (because they are ALWAYS arising). So, make this a positive experience and have fun with it!
More Snow Day Makeup by Serjay Sambros
like Riley that don't mind the extra days, lots of students Snow day makeup is had plans or were really confirmed next week for all looking forward to a few students not attending ISAS. days off. However, This decision was made due Collegiate students to the irregular amount of appreciate the value of snow days and input from education and know that the bitter staff. There were too extra days of school will help many snow days and some them in the long run. teachers simply have no way of enjoying a day off. Students attending ISAS technically will have no by Zach Alvarez makeup days and will have excused absences, since Some students may be ISAS is a school activity, but scrambling to find a Prom the work missed will have to date, but I am lucky to have be made up or done a great younger sister that is beforehand. Students not finally a freshman. I have attending ISAS may feel considered taking my sister "shafted", but the to prior homecomings, but administration argues that the taboo of bringing a having make up days next middle schooler to a high week is better than extra school dance was too much days extending the school for me. Unfortunately year. Although some Brianna Alvarez was already students seem to have a asked to homecoming this negative attitude to the year by Riley Kemmer, but unexpected make up days, luckily I was able to ask my a handful of the student sister to Prom. There are body are delightfully lots of benefits to taking a surprised. "I'm not going to sister to Prom and I highly ISAS, thank god, and now recommend it. First of all, that I have these makeup you don't have to stress days, I can get ahead for over finding and asking a AP tests." says Riley classmate, and asking your Kemmer. Apparently Riley is sister is surprisingly less unaware there are already awkward then you would tutorial days in place next think. Also, picking up your week. Even with students prom date is so much easier
Taking Your Sibling to Prom when she lives in the same house, and if you're late it's probably gonna be your sisters fault anyways, because she takes forever to get ready - seriously Brianna. The lack of pressure to "hook up" after Prom is also a relief to both my sister and our parents, which could be a real problem if she was asked by a creepy Senior. You can see there are lots of great reasons to ask your sister to prom. Of course some close minded students and faculty may think it is strange to ask your sister to prom, but this kind of thing happens all the time in southern states. Still, even my close friend Serjay said, "Hmm, that's weird", when I told him I asked Brianna to prom. I recommend to anyone that is struggling to get a date to consider asking your sister.
STUDENT SPOTLIGHT: GARRETT KEITH By Serjay & Tara Q: What are your hobbies? A: I like to fish, golf, eh hanging with the bros. Q: Have you bid on anyone? A: Gotta conserve my money. Q: How would you describe your relationship with your mother? A: Really good--almost too good. Q: Have you asked anyone to Prom? A: yeah--Taylor Phipps in Playa. I weaved a bracelet that said “Prom”. . . Q: What has been your favorite high school class? A: Mr. Bullinger’s Physics Class. Q: What three adjectives best describe you? A: Breezy, breezy, breezy. Q: What do you really want to do in life? A: Maybe a Dr. . . . . Plastic Surgeon. Q: Who are your heros? A: Daddy, Coach Black, & Nesmith, Mr. Caro. George Bush, Def. Gum Squad.
Introducing Translate for Animals (beta): Bridging the gap between animals and humans. Making the world's information universally accessible is a key goal for Google. Language is one of our biggest challenges so we have targeted our efforts on removing language barriers between the species. We are excited to introduce Translate for Animals, an Android application which we hope will allow us to better understand our animal friends. We've always been a pet-friendly company at Google, and we hope that Translate for Animals encourages greater interaction and understanding between animal and human. Translate for Animals is an application for Android phones that recognizes and transcribes words and phrases that are common to a species, like cats for example. To develop Translate for Animals, we worked closely with many of the world's top language synthesis teams, and with leaders in the field of animal cognitive linguistics, including senior fellows at the Bodleian Library in Oxford. 1 Take a tour of Translate for Animals 2 Visit Android Market – more apps for your mobile To remove Translate for Animals, go to Settings > Applications > Manage Applications > Animal Translate and select "Uninstall". http://www.google.co.uk/intl/en/landing/translateforanimals/
PAPER TWEET
with
coach fiegel
By Jake Barrett
Q: How is your bracket looking? A: My bracket is decimated, just like every bracket in America. If they say that theirs aren’t, they can’t be telling the truth.
Local Man Found to be More Winning than Charlie Sheen By Max Craddock Don Simmons, a local Wichita resident, has been scientifically proven to be more winning than Charlie Sheen. Scientists from Optimum Diagnostics Incorporated recently conducted blood tests and discovered that Simmons does indeed have a slightly higher winning:losing ratio than Sheen. “Honestly, I’m shocked,” said head scientist Damian Watson “I thought Mr. Sheen had set a standard of winning that wouldn’t be surpassed for many years.” When asked what led him to have the blood work done, Simmons hinted that he had known he was more winning than Sheen all along. “I just had a hunch that I was more winning,” said Simmons in an interview from his accounting office “Work has been going well, my 401K is looking in line and my wife made my favorite meal last Wednesday. And let’s face it: I’m not addicted to cocaine or paying a porn star to be my girlfriend.” When asked for comment on the recent findings, Sheen seemed disappointed though slightly inebriated. “He may be more winning than I am, but I have more tiger blood,” said Charlie “Only I have the recipe. Can I kiss you?” In a shocking turn of events, a man of the common people has knocked Charlie Sheen off of his seemingly unreachable pedestal of winning. Until more tests are done, it appears that Don Simmons is the most winning man in the world.
Getting Uniforms? By Kalli Sikes, Diana Kim, Brooke Withrow School uniforms have been a controversial issue for many years in schools all across America. Today, we are here to inform you that our school is in the process of receiving the gift of unity and equality in dress wear. Yes, uniforms are soon to be enforced in all Wichita Collegiate Schools, from early childhood to high school. The new dress code will likely be introduced within the first week of school, August 2011. The teachers say that the uniforms will be a great addition to the Collegiate community because they say it’ll bring the students’ attention to the lesson more then their looks. The Collegiate administration, Tom Davis (Headmaster), is excited about implementing school wide uniforms and has approved the idea of gold sweaters. Cross your fingers it’s not! The majority of students at Collegiate are against this idea of uniforms because of the dull outfits worn everyday from the long khaki skirts for girls and khaki pants for boys. But there are upsides. One upside of having uniforms is the simplicity of grabbing a shirt and shorts/skirt easily and leaving the house within minutes. Another positive is everyone looks the same and no one is judged solely on their outerwear and who’s wearing the new trend. Some downsides of uniforms is the lack of originality for each individual and the freedom for expression. So what do you think? These pictures are just some possibilities of uniforms that we will all be wearing next school year.
Well if you haven’t heard the rumor here it is: the school is pushing to get uniforms and yes this time they are serious! Certain faculty members are tired of so many people pushing the boundaries of the dress code and they believe the easiest solution would be to get uniforms. The uniforms would consist of: For girls: a white button up shirt, a navy blue skirt, and closed toed flats. For the winter season a gold turtle neck sweater will be allowed. For boys: a white button up shirt, navy blue pants, and nice dress shoes. For the winter season a gold turtle neck sweater will be allowed. With the uniform policy there is no question of what is allowed and what is not. If someone breaks uniform it is an automatic detention. There shall be no creativity or personality allowed in wardrobes any longer. The second rumor which is fact is: the school’s wi-fi is being shut down! Due to many misuses of the new wi-fi they school has decided to get rid of it. Having the internet available on every laptop and almost every phone has become a bigger problem than faculty members anticipated! Students aren’t paying attention in classes due to Facebook and other distracting websites and therefore their grades are suffering. It is too much hassle to try and block all of the websites teachers don’t want students on so instead they are shutting the wi-fi off forever. By Rachel Klingenberg
Motion BETA A new way to communicate The mouse and keyboard were invented before the Internet even existed. Since then, countless technological advancements have allowed for much more efficient human computer interaction. Why then do we continue to use outdated technology? Introducing Gmail Motion -- now you can control Gmail with your body.
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Mom & Dad’s Famous April Fool’s Pranks. By Ellen Healy. 1. Saran wrapping the car (yes, the Beast). 2. Saying the Beast was stolen, by parking the car far away. 3. Made eggnog in April by putting sour cream at the bottom. 4. Blue hair dye in our shampoo and conditioner. 5. Saran wrapping us into our rooms. 6. Waking us up and saying the house was on fire. 7. Water and sugar instead of toothpaste. 8. Whipped cream at the foot of our beds. 9. Tying all our underpants together. 10.Saturday morning, telling us we has play practice and we were late, but there was no practice at all. 11.Mom calling us and telling us she was pregnant. 12. Calling us saying the Pope was gay. 13. And today, so far, Pam on the toilet seat (so, I slipped) and while I was asleep at 2am, dead tired after softball, my mom came in to tell me she loved me so much and while I thought she was lovingly petting my head she was drawing a mustache on my face. Saran wrapped my car, again.
Aaron Clothier storms Wichita Collegiate Golf. By Riley Kemmer. At the beginning of the week it seemed pretty clear who was going
THE SPARTAN VOICE: STAFF: Max Craddock, Serjay Sambros, Ellen Healy, Tara Kneller, Riley Kemmer, Rachel Klingenberg, Alex Waldeck, Diana Kim, Jake Barrett, Zach Alvarez, Devon Rutledge, Kalli Sikes and Brooke Withrow. The Spartan Voice accepts the following responsibilities: The Spartan Voice is a newspaper operated by students at Wichita Collegiate School. Content in the Voice will consist of articles, editorials, letters, photographs and any other material pertaining to the Wichita Collegiate community. The Spartan Voice was founded in the principle that all students should have an equal opportunity to share their opinion in an open, unbiased forum of discussion. Students, faculty, administrators, and parents make up the four fundamental parts of the Wichita Collegiate community. Although controversial subjects maybe featured in the Voice, no part of the community will be discriminated against. The views expressed in printed material do not necessarily represent the views of the Spartan Voice or Wichita Collegiate School.
to win qualifying (9holes), Aaron Clothier. After a minor rule change, well more of an inconvenience, where the highest score now is better that a lower one, Aaron has clearly taken control of the Spartan Golf
Contact: wcsvoice@gmail.com
Team. Aaron really sealed the deal after day one when he took a circle
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10 on his first four holes. “I really started that round out well” says Clothier. “I thought it was going to start getting away from me when I got
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an 8 on hole 5”. That was not the case, Aaron finished up with a 10,8,10,10 on the remaining holes to end the round with an 86. Even though Clothier was in a commanding lead going into day’s 2 and 3 he was still nervous. “It’s hard being in first place after day one, especially when you know you have players like Zack Schmaltz on your tail” Clothier says. Aaron was just one day away from winning after his 84 on Wednesday. Clothier sealed the deal yesterday by being disqualified and bringing an end to his qualification. “I’m really happy with my performance this last week, all the hard practice I’ve put in the last few years is really starting to pay off.” Clothier is excited to show the world his talents Monday at Crestview Country Club.
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Vandals Strike Computer Lab Coach Messamore, who is in charge of the school’s computer lab, has had to deal with some vandals plaguing the halls of our school. Recently, the computers have been vandalized, and the repairs took hours to fix. It turns out that these kids changed both the wallpaper and screensaver on multiple computers! This kind of vandalism could only come from someone with a vendetta against the school’s computers. Whether this is a statement about the school’s outdated computers, or the undesired change to incorporate new technologies (i.e. Powerschool) into the classroom is unknown. School Under Investigation It has come to the attention of the Upper School administration that the school’s Wifi has been abused by many students. The realization was made after Collegiate received a letter from the RIAA claiming that the school came onto their radar not long after the Wifi was originally set up. The letter contained the following: “It has come to our attention that there has been an enormous amount of illegal torrenting coming from your establishment. The most popular torrents seem to include music, games, and adult movies. Because of this, we request that the school’s internet service be suspended until the problem is resolved, and should it continue we will officially start a criminal investigation.” Collegiate had no other choice but to comply with the agency’s request. The school will no longer have it’s Wifi setup, and all internet usage will be strictly monitored.
Horoscopes . . . A prediction of your future events. ♥♥ Every time someone says your name, you must respond, “Hot Dogs!!” It’ll be good luck. Aries*** (March 21- April 19)
♥♥♥ What others think of you is a constant source of worry, so take heart in knowing that they rarely ever do. Taurus ***(April 20- May 20)
♥ See how long you can hold go without breathing. Maybe you’ll break the world record! Gemini ***(May 21-June 20)
Cancer (June 21- July 22) ♥ You
forgot your spf sunscreen.
♥1/2 Take your parents credit card and buy everything you want. You’ll have a good excuse for a higher allowance when you have to pay it back. Leo ***(July 23- August 22)
Virgo (August 23-Sept. 22) ♥♥♥♥ That Libra ***(Sept 23- Oct 22)
song you were working on for ISAS, yeah, don’t.
♥♥♥ Paint your face to look like a clown. Then go out for the
circus. Scorpio (Oct. 23. Nov.21)
♥♥ You should bid $150 on a Spartan. It will be the best thing you
ever do. Sagittarius (Nov.22 Dec. 21)!♥♥♥♥ Today
you must hop to class. Its good exercise and it will put you in the spotlight. Everyone will be talking about you!!
Capricorn (Dec.22- Jan 19) ♥♥ You
turned in your “Good life,” now you need to worry about about the defense. You really do. Aquarius (Jan. 20- Feb 18)
♥ Your mom just friended you on Facebook.
Pisces (Feb 19- March 20 )
♥♥♥ Anyone you ask to Prom today will say yes!
*** from http://cabbigirl.blogspot.com/2009/02/april-fools-horoscopes.html
HAppy April Fool’s day Love,
SPARTAN VOICE