Issue 5, Dec 2015

RATCHET RESTROOMS ON CAMPUS lifestyle | page 10

DEC. 2015 VOL.3 ISSUE 5

PEACH STATE CINEMA spread | page 8

RSM CLASSIC sports | page 15

FRAT BEACH FOLLOW UP local news | page 5 SCAN TO VIEW OUR BLOG, PODCASTS AND VIDEO-CASTS

INSIDE INSIDE THE THE NEST NEST

Talk about AWKWARD FAMILY DINNER LIFESTYLE| pg. 12

Learn About Holiday parties LIFESTYLE| pg. 6

LAUGH AT PEARLS OF WISDOM COMIC COMICS| pg. 13

Worth Watching Nightmare b4 christmas ARTS & ENT| pg. 7

2 www.ccga-crowsnest.com

Coastal corner

VOLLEYBALL 2015 SSAC CHAMPS

October| 3 December

Inside the

POLICE BEAT Nest Editorial Department:

Editor in chief.............................. Drew Miller editorinchief@ccga.edu DESIGN EDITOR ............................. Alvin Fernando designeditor@ccga.edu WEB EDITOR ..................................Jenna Caldwell webeditor@ccga.edu Copy EDItor ............................. Erin Broomell copyeditor@ccga.edu Ad Manager .................................Erick Bermudez admanager@ccga.edu ADVISOR ......................................... Andrew Smith asmith@ccga.edu

Staff Writers & Contributors: Erin Broomell Alvin Fernando Savannah Barrow Andrew Smith

Drew C. Miller Erick Bermudez Sarah Knott Pearl Daughtry

Statement of Operations: The Crow’s Nest is the official student newspaper of the College of Coastal Georgia, owned and operated by CCGA students using facilities provided by the College.

MISSION: Our mission is to provide the Coastal Georgia community with truthful and ethical content of interest. Any questions regarding content or anyone wishing to report corrections and errors please call 912.279.5898 or email crowsnest@ccga.edu.

Publication Information: The newspaper is published approximately every three weeks during the academic year and is printed by The Brunswick News Publishing Co. in Brunswick, Ga. Advertising: The Crow’s Nest allots advertising space each issue for both on-campus and offcampus entities. For more information about rates, payment methods, formatting and deadlines, please call 912.279.5898 or email admanager@ccga. edu.

Notice: Unauthorized removal of multiple copies from a distribution site constitutes theft under Georgia law, a misdemeanor offense punishable by a fine and/or jail time. The advertiser is responsible for all information in a given ad. Students should beware of disclaimers presented in the ads, which are previously screened by our staff before placement in our publication.

November 2, 10:50 a.m.: Officers respond to the new dorm construction site after the foreman discovered that several tools had been stolen from one of their vehicles.

November 4, 11:30 p.m.: Officers were called to Coastal Place Apartments in reference to a medical emergency. The student was transported to the hospital by EMS.

the subject was driving with a suspended license. He was arrested and transported to the Glynn County Detention Center for booking.

November 17, 11:50 p.m.: Officers arrest a student for criminal trespassing following the defacing of college property.

November 12, 10:30 a.m.: Resident Assistants called officers to report the smell of marijuana coming from room 221 Lakeside Village. Incident was unfounded.

November 19, 4:40 p.m.: Officers received a report that a speaker had been stolen from the Student Activity Center.

November 20, 9:00 a.m.: Officers respond to Coastal Place Apartments in reference to a vehicle that had been damaged while being parked and unattended. Case is ongoing.

November 5, 3:45 a.m.: Officers spotted a suspicious male near the Lakeside Village bike rack. He was advised to leave campus property immediately.

November 14, 11:47 p.m.: Officers received a call to Coastal Place Apartments in reference to a computer that had been damaged by a cat. Incident report provided for insurance purposes.

November 7, 6:45 p.m.: A concerned student called officers in reference to the odor of marijuana in Lakeside Village. Officers were unable to pinpoint the origin.

November 15, 5:28 p.m.: Resident Assistants called officers to report the smell of marijuana coming from wing one, floor two of Lakeside Village. Incident was unfounded.

November 9, 7:30 a.m.: Officers assisted Resident Assistants with a welfare check in Lakeside Village.

November 15, 11:50 p.m.: Officers stopped a vehicle belonging to a person that had criminally trespassed. He was arrested on site.

November 11, 6:15 p.m.: Officers were notified that an individual was at a local pawnshop attempting to pawn the items that had been stolen from the construction site. Officers obtained a full confession, arrested the subject and recovered the tools.

November 11, 3:13 a.m.: Officers stopped a vehicle on Fourth St. and Mariners Way for running the red light. It was then discovered

INSTAGRAM:

@ccga_crowsnest

November 16, 9:45 a.m.: Officers were notified that several items were stolen from the Health and Science Building, room 315. The case is under investigation.

November 27, 6:40 p.m.: Officers were notified by the basketball coach that he had told several males to leave the Coffin building after they were discovered on the second floor checking doors. Subjects were gone prior to officers’ arrival.

November 27, 7:00 p.m.: Officers discovered three bikes unchained at the Lakeside Village bike rack. They were moved inside the lobby for safe keeping over the holiday.

November 30, 2:00 p.m.: A student reported to officers that her car was keyed while parked in the Coffin parking lot. Investigation is ongoing.

November 17, 5:15 p.m.: Students report to officers that they had received text threats from an unknown person. Investigation is ongoing.

FACEBOOK:

.com/ccgacrowsnest

TWITTER:

@ccga_crowsnest

4

Campus NEws

Final Exam Schedule Fall Semester 2015

// Full and Second Session

1. All First Session courses will have final exams during their last regular meeting time in their regularly scheduled rooms.

2. All classes meeting on a Saturday will have final exams on December 5 at the regularly scheduled class time and room.

3. Each examination period is two hours in length and begins at the time designated at the top of each column above. Final examinations must be given at the times indicated. Examinations must be taken with the sections in which the student is enrolled except in cases of extreme hardship and only on recommendation of the instructor and approval by the Dean and if arranged in advance.

4. Examinations must be given in the rooms in which the classes meet regularly unless a change is arranged in advance by the instructor through the Office of Academic Affairs.

5. The following courses do not have final exam times set in the schedule above: all on-line courses; courses meeting at locations other than the Brunswick campus and the Camden Center; and courses with prefixes JOUR, CCGA and PHED activity courses. Examinations for these courses will be at a time and place set by the instructor and approved by the appropriate Dean.

6. Every student should read the CCGA Catalog and the course syllabus for regulations concerning make-up of final exams.

Good Luck, Mariners!

FRAT BEACH: local NEws

December | 5 •18 individuals needed medical attention •11 citations given for public intoxication in a nearby park •4 drunk & disorderly arrests •2 drunk driving arrests •1 arrest for possession of cocaine

________

a follow up

sarah knott The turnout of the famed Frat Beach was debated by students and press all over Georgia and Florida leading up to the anticipated weekend. A letter warning of a strict zero-tolerance policy sent out in late September by the Glynn County Commision was met with protests by underclassman across the state who were counting on a care-free coastal visit.

In our November issue we covered the activity on the beach itself, but simply seeing the bustle along the shore wasn’t enough to determine the full outcome or impact the letter had involving litter on the beach and success of local businesses in comparison to past years. These numbers were all discussed at a post-frat beach meeting hosted at the Chamber of Commerece and attended by the many groups participating in and effected by the massive party.

Individuals including hotel managers, restaurant owners, police administrators and paramedic crew members were all present to discuss the successes and shortcomings of the weekend as well as to begin planning ahead for next year.

The number one concern stated in Commsion’s letter was underage and unsafe drinking. County Police Chief Matt Doering was pleased to announce that, “the majority of people checked for age compliance were of age.” He went on to discuss the nature of citations given and arrests carried out, which were few and far between. Only two out of 18 individuals that were dangerously drunk were medically cleared to be arrested.

Fire Chief H.W. Herndon was present to report on the medical tents and results of a zoning technique, where different sections of the beach had designated medical tents.

Two beach zones were closed down by the end of the day due to lack of use. Herndon told the meeting attendees that no one needed to go to the ER this year. In 2014, 18 people crowded the emergency room at the hospital, but thanks to the efforts of paramedics, physician’s assistants and nurses on the beach the students who may have partied a little too hard were in great hands and kept safe.

The activity and safety on the beach itself was a success, however, local businesses took quite a hit this year. This weekend is huge for hotel managers and restaurant owners alike, but many of these establishments report an overall average of business being down about 30 percent this year as compared to years passed.

Hotels usually bring in a 98 to 100 percent occupancy for frat beach weekend, but Michael Johnson of the King & Prince Resort reports having “30 rooms empty for three nights.” Vacancies like these were present in many hotels and proved to be a challenge for businesses this year, but many people present at the meeting were pleased with the polite and quiet nature of students this year.

All in all, the letter sent out by the Commission had a noticeable effect on the turnout of the population, but the quality of people there were significantly greater than in years passed. Brogen’s owner Forrest Brown closed the meeting with an excellent summary of the feelings discussed in the meeting. “We all want the quality instead of the quantity,” Brown said, implying that plentiful younger crowds may be less desirable for local businesses than groups of working adults, families or retirees; “We can’t put the genie back in the bottle; the question is, what do we do now?”

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Lifestyle

6

Christmas Party on a Budget

By Erin Broomell

1. Make It an Ugly Christmas Sweater Theme Ugly Christmas sweater parties are popular because the guests (in their best Christmas garb) serve as both the decor and entertainment. Hand out hand-made awards for the guests who go all-out.

2. Set Up a Photo Booth Remember those science project boards from middle school? They serve as the perfect backdrop for your photo booth. Glue on some dollar store ornaments to make it fun and festive.

Or for a classier look that will make the colorful Christmas sweaters pop, paint it with chalkboard paint and write a happy holiday message.

3. Stick to Food with a Good Presentation Fancy finger foods will help create a unique feel and lend to the decor. Try these Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup Shooters. Spend the extra dollar on bread from a local bakery and go beyond the classic cheddar cheese.

I’d recommend Gouda or Swiss. For an added touch, home-make the tomato soup.

4. Inexpensive Parting Gifts for Your Guests For close friends or Ugly Sweater award winners, hand out homemade gifts. Hand crafted, pocket-sized Tic-Tac-Toe sets are the perfect way to give your friends a moment of Zen at the office. Pick up packs of minature burlap sacks and fabric paint at the craft store for a couple bucks. You can pick up stones there if you have no place to scavenge for them. Shells from the beach also make great X and O pieces.

arts & Entertainment

HOLIDAY HULLABALOO Savannah Barrow Whether The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Christmas movie or Halloween movie has been hotly debated since the film’s release in October of 1993. With a foot in both worlds, it straddles holiday genres. Is the film devoted to Halloween Town, the home of Jack Skellington and various other Halloween characters, or Christmas Land, the home of Santa Claus? Is it something else entirely? Opinions are plenty, a verdict is yet to found. Here is the evidence to help you pick a side.

It's About Halloween 1.

The opening song is “This is Halloween.” If that doesn’t set the tone for the movie, I don’t know what does.

2.

It’s about Jack embracing his true identity as a leader of Halloween Town and doing what he does best, which is scaring children.

3.

It’s creepy. Plain and simple. Christmas movies aren’t creepy.

When it first came out, Disney even released the movie under Touchstone Pictures because they thought it was too dark and scary for kids.

4.

It’s about the people and town of Halloween. The film is the embodiment of Halloween.

It's a Christmas Movie 1. It takes place on Christmas and revolves around the holiday.

Jack Skellington’s whole plan is to become the new Santa Claus. He wants to make Christmas his own because he’s tired of Halloween.

2.

It’s part of ABC Family’s Christmas lineup.

3. It contains many of

the classic Christmas movie themes as well as your typical Christmas movie ending, like sacrifice, love and togetherness. Jack is just your average skeleton who’s bored with the predictability and monotony of his everyday life and discovers the “magic of Christmas”.

4. The entire movie is about how great Christmas is. Why would Jack care so much about Christmas if it wasn’t a Christmas movie? There are even stockings, presents and reindeer.

So maybe the movie is both, maybe it’s neither. Watch it on Easter if you want, the Easter Bunny does make a guest appearance, or you could watch it between the two holidays and watch it on Thanksgiving. Watch it on Thursday if you want, whenever you want, you do you.

December | 7

1

College is pretty cool cause you can wear the same shirt two days in a row. your mwf people don’t know your tr life.

2

I told everyone at work that i have a twin so that when i see them in public i wont have to talk to them

3

instead of turnin’ up you need to be learnin’ up. Get your grades lit. textbook and skills instead of netflix and chill.

4

i had no idea we were millionaires until i saw my roomate rip off 4 paper towels at once.

8 Photo by: Richard Lund | Repurposed by: Drew C Miller

arts & Entertainment

Drew C Miller - Editor in Chief Hollywood has always been considered the Mecca of media, specifically the film industry. However, with increased taxes on filming locations and other aspects in the film production process, tinsel town is slowly falling away from being the reigning principal filming location. Fifteen years ago 64 percent of the top 25 liveaction movies were filmed in California.

As of 2013 only 8 percent were filmed there according to a report released by Forbes and Film LA Incorporated in 2014.

The Peach State has become a nerve center for the prospering film industry.

The state of Georgia offers production incentives that provide up to 30 percent return of production expenditures in the form of tax credits. A 20 percent base qualifies as transferable tax credit, as well as an additional 10 percent Georgian Entertainment Promotion uplift can be earned by embedding an approved Georgia logo (i.e. the official Georgia peach logo) within the film’s credits.

Translated: crews willing to use the varied Georgia landscapes, numerous production resources, and an equally large and experienced crew base make Georgia

a smart economic choice.

According to www.tourgeorgiafilm.com, there have been 449 films filmed in Georgia since the beginning of 2010. Popular television (The Walking Dead, Adult Swim headquarters) and hit blockbusters such as Captain America, The Hunger Games Trilogy, Guardians of the Galaxy, as well as a plethora of other productions have all been filmed in the state. Moon River Studios is becoming the largest film studio project in the United States, located in Effingham County Georgia.

The endeavor is going to be a 1,560-acre

full service production complex that will include sound stages, scenic landscapes, an outdoor concert venue, editing suites, set-fabrication services, warehouses/mills and post-production services.

With new filming precedents, many new opportunities are popping up across the state. This could potentially mean a major shift away from the West Coast, turning the spotlight in an effort to illuminate the virtually untapped Georgia landscape in order to create a new opportunity for the state’s economy and artistic undertakings.

arts & Entertainment

December | 9

REALITIES OF BEING AN EXTRA With new film possibilities popping up around the state, our Copy Editor Erin Broomell and Editor in Chief Drew C .Miller were able to take advantage of such opportunities as they were extras on two feature films filmed in the Brunswick and Savannah areas within this last year.

The idea of being in the same vicinity as celebrities and being a part of Hollywood sounds sexy and glamorous. However, the process can be as involved as watching paint dry. Here is a glimpse into the realities of being an extra.

Working Hours

EB: My call time was at 5:30 a.m. and I was on set until around 7:30 p.m. both days I worked. We had a one-hour break for lunch.

DCM: Our call time was 5:00 a.m. and we were on set anywhere from 7 to 11 p.m.

There was a holding area that you would sit in if you were not needed for a scene. One would wait here while scenes were being prepped, which took ages. Since they take your phones away (Warner Bros. could potentially sue you if you leaked anything from set via our cellular companions) there is nothing to do to kill time. Some seasoned veterans brought crossword books. I would have napped, but one of the extras was trying to get noticed by the director kept yapping away above everyone. That was the worst.

Hunger Games

EB: We were served breakfast and lunch on site. The food wasn’t bad, but there was no coffee at breakfast! Imagine that. Up since 4 a.m., working over 12 hours and no coffee!

DCM: We were provided with lots of food and snacks in between takes. However, it was all a bunch of processed junk (cookies, candy, etcetera) so there wasn’t much to help one sustain.

Location, Location

EB: I was lucky enough to be on an indoor set (since we filmed in July), but the first day I was unprepared at how unbearably cold it was inside the building. The air conditioners kept the set at around 58 degrees. No joke.

DCM: I was on the opposite side of the spectrum. I spent all day in the in the hot Georgia sun. The film was a period piece set in 1930s Ybor City, Florida, so my garb consisted of a wool suit and straw hat per fashion of the region and era. Imagine the costumes from the film Titanic. That’s what we wore. Literally the same thing; these clothes were used on that set years ago. Wool is a wonderful conductor of heat. By the end of the day, all the extras were equally stoked, sunburned and beat up. I can only imagine what it’s like for the actual crew; repeating their process for months on end.

Costumes

EB: I had to bring three outfits for them to choose from for me. I did my own make-up and hair. The only one that they approved, unfortunately, was too similar to the main actresses and so the director told me to stay in the background. If I end up in the movie, I’ll only be a background blur.

DCM: I had to get my haircut to look like my great Grandfather, and was fitted for my costume two weeks prior to filming.

The costumers give you a few outfits to try on. They then photograph you and let the directors and production assistants sort through to find where you fit best for a scene and what “look” they need. This is all determined by the day of shooting on which, you are lined up and the PA’s double check your getup to ensure nothing on your person is out of place, or from the future. I loved my boots when I was fitted. I wanted to take them home. After wearing those for 15 hours straight, I couldn’t wait to get rid of them.

Requirements

EB: Most of the first day I spent sitting around reading a book. After 12 hours, that got really boring. However, many of the extras spent the 12 hours dancing, sweating like pigs in suits and formal dresses. The second day I was a background person so I stood in heels and talked the whole day.

DCM: The production assistants would tell us what to do for the scene. I got to be in an argument with a fella, and walk around as they were filming; nothing crazy. However there were some people that got to have more interesting scenes, like walking alongside the actor, shoot fireworks, salsa dance, drive vintage cars, etc. Some were musicians. Everyone had a role. You basically do the same scene over and over for a few hours until the director gets exactly what they want down on camera. So if you’re carrying a box up the street, you’re going to be enacting the role of Sisyphus.

Despite long hours, being a piece of movable human furniture,_ repeating many of the same processes repeatedly, all in all it was pretty cool watching the under-workings of the creative process and how much work goes into the minutest of details for a film.One of the films spent three months of preparing in order to get three days of shooting in. Hours of film was consumed in order to create the proper shots. However, once the final version is released, all that time and effort will yeild an upwards of 20 minutes of material.

If you are a film geek, we both recommend going out and looking for oppurtunities in the area.

Erin Broomell Drew C Miller

Lifestyle

10 10

DISHONORABLE BATHROOMS ON CAMPUS Alvin Fernando Design Editor

Photos by Alvin Fernando, Drew C. Miller

We’ve all had our fair share of experience with bathrooms. Some of those experiences are more pleasant than others.

Nothing rocks your day off the rails like dropping the kids off at the pool in a less than desirable environment. Here are a couple of bathrooms on campus that could use some improvement or less traffic.

Student Activity Center, Community Bathroom: Here you have what seems to be a solid option… until further examination. You’re practically next to the sand volleyball courts, which means you’re an excruciating walk away from any other feasible options; #firstworldprobs. The type of crowd that utilizes the bathrooms in the SAC are athletes or already sweaty freshman playing quasi-sweaty bar sports in the Recreation and Entertainment Center. Ding ding ding! There’s your first problem right there. Everyone is sweaty in the SAC and can’t help it. Now imagine all of those people using toilets. The result oozes chaos.

I’m not sure what kind of treatment the toilets received in their past lives, but the porcelain spirits seem angry. Just when you think you’ve gotten into the groove of your routine, the squirrely flush sensors start firing off and you’re stuck enduring semiautomatic splashes on your undercarriage.

To top it all off, everyone can hear your squeamish grunts from the vents leading to the foyer.

Campus Center 1st floor: Where do I even begin? You couldn’t hire enough people to handle the lunchtime traffic on Mondays and Wednesdays. The floors are discarded with squares of toilet paper and the ivory thrones are sprinkled with the remnants of previous users. I remember when the new Dyson hand-dryers were put in and everyone felt like we had finally arrived as a campus. That era has passed and now a plethora of options for solid bathrooms has grown to the point that this dumping ground is on the naughty list!

Library Bathroom: This bathroom gives me a headache just thinking about it. It isn’t that it’s the worst bathroom on campus; we’ll just say it’s seasonally challenged. When finals week is near and approaching, the fecal phantoms of the Brunswick campus collectively gather to throw a party in the interior of this room, leaving a trail of torn up toilet paper and drained soap dispensers. Dial Gold cascades down the wall in a sad attempt at Jackson Pollack ala Eeyore. The popularity of the big stall during finals week seems as though you’re waiting in queue at Six Flags for the Batman ride. The sink’s faucets have sensors on them, which aren’t a problem until they gradually die off because you’ve apparently washed your hands for too long.

This fun experience forces you to switch sinks with residual soap on your hands.

When finals week isn’t enough stress

on you, try going during the middle of the semester. Decompressing and phone surfing for an assumed relaxing experience turns into an irritating and eerie scene when this bathroom’s lights shut off due to inactivity.

No amount of clapping, flailing your arms about, nor shouting can guarantee the reactivating of the lights. This waddling walk of shame morphs into an air traffic controller dance that leaves you humiliated as someone walks in.

Lifestyle

December | 11

The strangest and most vexing American holiday tradition is the insistence of retailers playing crappy Christmas songs the day after Halloween. You can’t go grocery shopping without being reminded of the impending holidays, even if you put forth your best effort in ignoring the barrage of holiday cheer.

Americans fall into a “holidaze” far too early. Stranger is the tradition of parents telling their kids that some creepy fella who keeps tabs on them 24/7, 365 days, will sneak into their house at night while they are sleeping. Adding to the bizarre, parents promote this behavior by leaving cookies out for the invader. Yet, there is no need for pops to pull the ol’ .12 gauge out this time (another American tradition), because this intruder is leaving gifts! America is not alone in their whacked out traditions.

Austria, Germany, Hungary - Krampus A mash-up of a Sasquatch and the mythological Pan, Krampus can be heard creeping up behind you via chains and bells on his non-person. Krampus keeps busy each holiday season by beating misbehaving children with a bundle of birch sticks, before hauling them to the dark underworld. The idea of this creature is probably more effective in promoting good behavior than coal.

Spain - Tio de Nadal Ever wished you had a tree that defecates presents when you beat it profusely? In Spain, this is a holiday reality. Families place The Yule Log in plain sight, place a blanket over its body and children are asked to hit it. When the blanket is lifted, SURPRISE, it’s crapped presents! The log even has legs, eyes, and a red nose.

This is one mess you would be more than happy to clean up.

Whales - Mari Lwyd Individuals carry a horse skull affixed to a pole above their head and hide under a cloth while going house to house with one intention: to get inside. The skull (Mari Lwyd) is decorated with ribbons and bows and the eye sockets are stuffed with ornaments. Costumed wassailing revellers accompany Mari Lywd and represent dead who have risen to remind the world of their existence. The group travels door to door and sing a variation of a traditional Welsh song. The occupants of the house answer the song with their own insults, riddles, and a battle of wits known as pwnco ensues.

If the Mari’s party wins the pwnco, they are allowed to enter the house to imbibe and feast. If they lose, they travel to the next available household with hopes of finagling their way inside.

Iceland - Jólakötturinn (Yule Cat), Grýla Make sure you have on some fresh rags and new kicks before Christmas or expect to be eaten by a giant monster cat that stalks the Nordic foothills. Apparently

this cat really hates old clothes. To add to the existential X-mas terror, beware of Grýla. She is a troll with multiple heads, a beard and other awful features that trolls rock. If you’re a kid left unnatended, Grýla gonna eat ya’.

Greece - Kallikantzaros These malevolent demons live underground, only to emerge during the 12 days of Christmas. There are various versions of the demon. If you are not careful, one of them will latch on to your back, command you around all night, and not let go until the sun goes down.

We all know someone like that.

South Africa - Danny the Ghost Who stole all the cookies from the cookie jar? Danny did! And just his luck, his batty old grandma beat him to death because those cookies were meant for good ol’ Saint Nick. So if you want to avoid being haunted by the ghost of Danny boy, don’t fulfill your gluttonous ways before Christmas (wait until New Years Eve).

Guatemala - Dirt Devil On December 7, Guatemalans place papier-mâché devils atop a pile of dirt, douse that mother in gasoline and set it all ablaze. The tradition burns away the bad, to bring forward the good. More specifically, to make room for the Virgin Mary to arrive. Apparently she doesn’t help all that much considering the citizens repeat the process annually.

Japan - KFC Colonel Sanders gets dressed up in a cute little red hat and cute little red wardrobe and becomes Father Christmas. This strangely mutated export began as a Japanese marketing campaign 30 years ago, and now eating fried chicken on December 25 is a staple. Meals cost about 40 dollars and include champagne and cake.

Yes, this is real life.

Venezuela - Roller Skating to Church In the capital city of Caracas, it is customary to roller skate to church service early morning service between December 16 and 24 while cars are barred from being on the road before 8 a.m. Children tie a string to their big toe and hang the string out the window to the street.

Skaters passing by are expected to give the string a tug to wake the kids up. To ensure waking the cherubs from their slumber to fulffil their religious duties, fireworks are blown up on the street. After mass, all return home to get some serious grubbing in.

Ukraine - Spiders Love Christmas but hate spiders? Don’t plan on traveling to Ukraine for the holidays. Spider webs festoon Christmas trees and are thought to bring about good luck.

Sweden - Burning Goat A giant version of the traditional Swedish Yule Goat is erected during December in Gävle. It is created out of twigs and is bound by red ribbons. However in 1966, a new tradition evolved. The goat has been set on fire every year since. Despite efforts from committees and local authorities to curb the vandalism, the goat has burnt down every year with the exception of 2014.

Greenland - Kiviak If you ever feel like eating some birds that have been stuffed in a hollowed out seal carcass, left to rot and ferment for seven months under a rock, you are in luck. Be sure to visit Greenland in December, where about 500 Little Auk are prepared and sewn into seal fat (which repels flies) and then placed in the seal and left to ferment. When it is time to feast, the cute little rotten birds are eaten raw. This tradition stems from having food shortages in the harsh winters. Its like eating Turducken, except it was prepared by Satan. It is safe to assume the stench alone would knock a buzzard off a gut wagon.

Drew C Miller - Editor in Chief

Lifestyle

12

Guess Who’s Invited to Dinner?

Awkward Relatives The Holly-Jolly Host Theme Song: “The Nutcracker Suite”

From Drunkle to the Feliz Navi-Goth, the Holly-Jolly Host welcomes one and all because of their annoying amount of holiday cheer. This host has been decking the halls since October and perfecting the perfect hot-wassail recipe. They’ve hand selected each and every person’s Christmas present according to their Amazon Wishlist.

However, at the first sign of any deviation from their well thought out holiday plan, said host is apt to expose the hulking green monster lurking beneath the surface of their glistening holiday veneer, ready to rip through their tacky holiday sweater screaming, “THIS Christmas will be a NICE Christmas!”

Feliz Navi-Goth

Theme Song: The Nightmare Before Christmas, “This is Halloween” Their whole life is a dark room. One… big…dark…room. Most certainly forced into this tragic situation known as family time, this high school aged relative sits in the corner making it apparent they are a self-proclaimed outcast by sulking about the surrounding world. They hold fast to the beliefs that: Christmas trees suck, Santa is stupid, and that mauve sweat Aunt Mona gifted you from Beal’s outlet is American consumer trash. Life is pain. So are these

terrible gifts. Society is crumbling. You’re all hegemonic freaks living in a sick, sad, world. Hold up…Is that an iPhone 6?

Mom, Dad, I love you guys...I love you so, so much! Wait is that hot wassail? Gross… get away from me!”

Drunkle

Theme Song: Baby, It’s Christmas Outside...or, um, what’s it called again?

Drunk Uncle was the uncle you always thought was cool. You wondered why all adults couldn’t just be like him. Then you grew up and realized his happiness took place in finding the bottom of the bottle.

Drunkle can most likely be found sitting in a corner mumbling indiscernible lyrics from a Christmas carol that that doesn’t even exist, Yet you give him a break because he loves you-oo-oo-ooooouuuuuuuuu!

You know this because he will pull you nose-to-nose, look you dead in the eye and tell you so, repeatedly. He follows this up by proceeding to tell the same disjointed stories he tells every time you see him, burping in a swirl of bubbles and stars.

O’ Holy Fight

Theme Song: It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year Christmas isn’t complete without the family feud. Your brother-in-law rewrapped the sweater you gave him last year, and re-gifted it back to you. You call

I’m wearing reindeer print pajamas, tearing into a package whose shape lends no hint to the contents within. I’m four years old and only a few minutes away from finding out that every Christmas I’ve ever known has been a total sham. I’m about to learn the pretend grocery set I’d asked for was not hand delivered by a fat man in a red velvet suit, but by my aunt. Through the years, I have come to learn that the reality of Christmas didn’t always fit the image.

One year, still longing to believe, I thought I heard Santa on the roof only to find out it was mice in the attic that were eating straight through my Easy Bake Oven box to get to the mix inside. I still haven’t been kissed under the mistletoe, but the grease fire I had to put out one year was pretty hot.

For some delusional reason, I still love the holidays and find myself immersed in the role of the Holly-Jolly Host for my family holiday get-togethers. With this welcomed task, I’ve learned to navigate the personalities of my guests well. Awkward relatives are like cranberry sauce, you love them or you loathe them, but either way they will make their way to the table. If your holidays are anything like mine, here are a few characters you can expect for dinner.

By Erin Broomell - Copy Editor him out and get thrown through the dinner table just as grandma and grandpa arrive.

Drunkle is in the corner laughing, his wife is pissed, mom is crying, and dad is trying to break everything up while your sister and in-laws take sides against one another.

It’s the hap-happiest time of the year!

Santa Claws

Theme Song: Do They Know it’s Christmas?

This last guest earns their title from the talons most certainly hidden beneath their oven mitts. Often confused for the Holy Jolly Host, this creature emerges from the kitchen holding a golden-glazed turkey and donning a Stepford-smile. Everything about this made-from-scratch holiday meal is perfect. Suspiciously perfect. What does Santa Claws have to prove? Everything.

They hold the title of the jolliest elf around, and not even the fat man himself will out-do them.

Any dish prepared by The Claws will be extra salty and peppered with passiveaggressive comments: “Well I wouldn’t have prepared all this food if your brother told me he wasn’t coming.” As for their gift giving, open a present from The Claws like you would a gift from Jon Gotti because The Claws is sending a message: Her husband gets a wrench to fix those leaky pipes with.

Her still-single spawn gets a membership to eHarmony.com. Her daughter-in-law gets a bottle of The Claw’s perfume and a kind reminder that her biological clock is ticking. And you better not pout about it, ‘cause Santa Claws is watching you.

COMICS

December | 13

- Pearl Daughtry

INTERESTED IN MEDIA OR JOURNALISM? THE CROW’S NEST IS EXPANDING AND WE WANT YOU TO BE A PART OF OUR TEAM!

AREAS OF EXPANSION INCLUDE: THE SQUAWK BOX (PODCAST) THE SPYGLASS (VIDEO BLOG) THE CROW’S NEST (PRINT NEWSPAPER)

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Lifestyle

Obscure Georgia: On the Road Again Drew C Miller | Editor in Chief The open road. The transfiguration of landscapes. The bathroom breaks in shady truck stops. Road-trippin’: the great American pastime. For those that don’t feel like driving to the north end of Saint Simons Island is like riding the TransSiberian Express, here is a compilation of off-kilter Georgia experiences worth making a trip to.

1. Georgia Guidestones - Hartwell Hwy, Elberton, GA 30635, (706) 283-25 Lauded as the “American Stonehenge,” this enigmatic monolith was constructed under mysterious circumstances in 1982 after an unknown person commissioned the structure to be built. One blue granite slab with four surrounding upright stones have 10 guidelines inscribed in eight modern languages. Four shorter slabs contain ancient language inscriptions, and are meant for current and future generations.

These guidelines map out a course of action humanity must take in order to strike a proper balance with one another and nature, according to the clandestine commissioner.

This monument serves as a celestial clock as well. A capstone lies on top of all five stones. The middle stone has a carving allowing a view of the North Star. Another beam has a slot carved in it to allow view of the sun rays at noon, illuminating the positions of the rising sun in conjunction with the season on the middle beam. The four outer stones mark the limits of the 18.6 year lunar cycle. The Guidestones are placed in an area the Cherokee Indians called “Al-yeh-li A Lo-Hee,” the center of the world.

2. Providence Canyon State Outdoor Recreation Area - 8930 Canyon Rd, Lumpkin, GA 31815 - (229) 838-6870 Known as “Georgia’s Little Grand Canyon,” this landscape is not a creation of Mother Earth. Rather, it is the creation of the blunders and follies of inexperienced

farmers in the 1800s. After farmers deemed the land unusable, nature took its course, giving us what is now used as hiking trails, picnic sights and campgrounds. The landscape is also littered with the shells of 1950s automobiles that could not be removed.

3. BAPS Shri Swaninarayan Mandir Atlanta - 460 Rockbridge Rd NW, Lilburn, GA 30047 - (678) 906-2277 The largest Hindu temple in the United States, and the largest of its kind out side of India, the BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Mandir Atlanta was built from more than 12,300 tons of Italian Carrar marble, Turkish limestone and Indian pink sandstone to craftsmen in India. Nearly 35,000 pieves were shipped back to the United States in order to create the Swaminarayan temple.

4. Dungeness Ruins - St Marys, GA 31558 - (912) 882-4336 In a glaring 19th-century example of the privileged one percent, the Carnegie family owned 90 percent of Cumberland Island, including a gigantic 59-room Scottish mansion on the south shores. After being left abandoned and eventually burned, only ruins still remain.

5. Pasaquan - 238 Eddie Martin Rd, Buena Vista, GA 31803 - (229) 649-9444 Georgia native Eddie Owens Martin was visited by three entities from the future land known as Pasaquan during a fever dream while living in New York. He returned to Georgia and began going by the moniker St. EOM, and began work on his art instillation named after the futurelands, receiving funding through fortune telling. The instillation spans seven acres of farm lands and six buildings, the oldest of which being a 19th century farmhouse.

Concrete walls covered in psychedelic art connect each building. St. EOM took his life in 1986, but the Pasaquan Preservation Society preserves the sight that is now open to the public as a historical landmark.

Sports

December | 15

Classic Name Change Alvin Fernando - Design Editor

Don’t forget to show your CCGA ID card when you purchase any Chick-fil-A Sandwich Meal and get a FREE Chick-fil-A Handspun Milkshake!

Formerly known as The McGladrey Classic, the newly rebranded RSM Classic debuted its new name before its annual golf tournament held on Saint Simon’s Island. RSM is known as the nation’s leading provider of audit, tax and consulting services.

The RSM Classic’s name and logo was used for all tournament-related references and was displayed onsite during tournament week Nov. 16 to 22.

In addition to sporting a new name, the sixth RSM Classic Tournament expanded from 132 PGA TOUR players to 156, as well as utilizing The Lodge at Sea Island’s Plantation Course alongside the Seaside Course in rotation for the first two rounds November 19 to 20. With the filling of 34 slots with other PGA TOUR players, the tournament has expanded to a healthier size demanding the use of two courses. While golf is the major reason for the tournament, community involvement is the heartbeat of the tournament.

“The RSM Classic is so much more than just a golf tournament,” said Mark Anthony Linton II, a returning guest for the tournament.

“There’s a youth and community day on Plantation I, with an 85-foot inflatable obstacle course, cornhole boards, different putting greens set up and face-painting were all set up for the kids participating from surrounding elementary schools.”

On Nov. 18, The PGA TOUR Wives Association spearheaded The Wiffle Ball Classic which also included local students from Altama Elementary School. The event featured PGA TOUR players competing against their wives, with the local students.

If you’d like to see more coverage on the tournament, visit www.PGATOUR.com or follow @theRSMclassic on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

16

Sports

COASTAL

CCGA Basketball Busy Over Break

By Andrew Smith

The players on the Coastal Georgia men’s and women’s basketball teams won’t be heading home for holidays with the rest of us. Both teams have a slate of pre-Christmas game that will prove challenging, but the players are welcoming the break from classes.

The men’s team came up just short on Tuesday, Dec. 1, losing 89-87 to Edward Waters at home. Overall the team is 4-7, which equals the Mariners win total from last year. But head coach Jesse Watkins said the team must continue to improve if it’s to make any waves in the Southern States Athletic Conference. The team’s final three games of 2015 are on the road.

“Now that the semester is over, we’re getting ready to dial in for the tough SSAC schedule,” Watkins said of his team, which has yet to face a SSAC foe. “These next

three games will really prepare us for our conference opponents.”

After starting off 3-1, the women have cooled off of late, dropping their last five games. Several, however, have been close calls, including an 83-76 defeat at the hands of Paine College and a 67-60 loss to Georgia Southwestern.

The women play two of their next three games at home against Reinhardt University on Dec. 17 at 6 p.m. and Linsdey Wilson on Dec. 19 at 2 p.m.

The teams encourage any students in the area for the holidays to come out and support the team at home or on the road, if that’s close to where you live.

For updates and a full schedule, visit the CCGA Athletics home page, www. coastalgeorgiasports.com.

BANDING TOGETHER

GEORGIA:

Erick Bermudez Ad Manager

James Furness is 19 years old and began playing music in the fifth grade. He comes from a musical family, which explains why he started playing music so early. His main instrument is trumpet but he can also play the piano. Last year he started the College of Coastal Georgia’s pep band. He’s been playing for Coastal for two years and he’s planning to keep playing for the college.

The band started when he and his musical group of friends got together and began playing at CCGA sporting events. “The band is looking to grow, and the player’s to improve so we can be better than ever,” says Furness. He adds “We are very happy with the band as a whole. We are getting really good feedback from school staff and students.”

Pep band isn’t the only musical endeavor he has taken up. For the last two years he has been involved in Brunswick local musical act the Coastal Georgia Brass Choir. This ensemble consists of a group of 12 musicians that play only brass instruments. He used to be in the in the Golden Isles Community band.

However, with a busy school schedule and equally busy musical routine, his focus has shifted towards the college.

When asked to offer some words of encouragement to individuals in a quest to learn music and musical instruments, Furness responded “Believe in yourself, keep practicing over and over. That way you will become the musician you want to be.”

Any students interested in becoming a member of the band should contact ccgabands@gmail.com.

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