SHELTER HOME OF CALDWELL COUNTY, INC. PO BOX 426
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LENOIR, NC 28645
Peaceful Notes M A R C H INSIDE THIS ISSUE:
Seeds of Peace
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Blackberry Glow
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BBQ & Blue
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Second Bloom
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Furniture Needs
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Shelter Managers
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Staff Contact
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Board of Directors Brent Phelps Chair Angie Clark Vice-Chair Ruth Kincaid Secretary Betsy Wilson Treasurer Bob Benfield Jennifer Bowman Kim Britt Heidi Downs Anita Dula Debbie Eller Chris Cole Ann Kelly Morris Reaves Rose Reighard Holly Yongue Nancy Martin Past-Chair Shelter Home Office Phone Numbers: Lenoir (828) 758-0888 Taylorsville (828) 6358055 Crisis Lines: Lenoir (828) 758-7088 Taylorsville (828) 635-8851 24 hours a day
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The Excuses We Tell Ourselves There’s no justification for an abusive partner www.domesticshelters.org
Before you ever got into an abusive relationship, you probably said at some point, “I would never let anyone mistreat me. If my partner screamed at me or slapped me, I would leave them immediately and never look back.” Then, it happened. You were hit. You were screamed at...or, you just felt afraid all of a sudden. The person you thought loved you made you feel unsafe. And you stayed because [insert excuse here]. It’s natural to want to make excuses for the person you love because you want more than anything to believe they didn’t mean it. It won’t happen again. But, when it does happen again, and then again, it’s time to stop making excuses like these. “But he‟s never hit me.” However, he’s yelled at you. Humiliated you. Thrown objects at or near you. Threatened you. Taken away your car keys and prevented you from leaving. Forced you to have sex. Taken away your money. Demanded to read your emails and texts. Harmed your pet. These, and more that don’t involve outright physical abuse, are still tactics of power and control that add up to an abusive relationship. Abuse can be emotional, psychological, verbal, and even financial, as well as physical. No type of abuse is acceptable. “He just loves me so much and doesn‟t want to lose me.” This may sound romantic, but it’s really not. If he loved you, he would never do anything to make you fearful of him. If he didn’t want to lose you, he would be kind to you, not threaten to harm you if you left him. If he loved you, he’d get help for his anger issues. If he loved you, he'd let you leave if you felt unsafe. “He can‟t help it—he was abused when he was younger.” Plenty of individuals who experienced childhood abuse don’t go on to be violent partners as adults. He needs to get help for this issue, not perpetuate the violence. Plus, if you have children, they are at a higher risk of becoming victims. Statistics show that one in three victims of child abuse go on to become child abusers themselves. “I can‟t tell anyone I think I‟m being abused by my wife. I just need to „man up.‟ According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, an estimated 835,000 men are physically assaulted by intimate partners each year. [1] So, if you’re a man being abused, you're not alone. There areunique challenges faced by abused men. You can talk to an advocate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, about your situation (anonymously, if you’d like), by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
P A G E
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Seeds of Peace Annual Plant Sale SATURDAY April 25th 8 am—11 am At Second Bloom Boutique 101 Willow Street Lenoir, NC 28645 Join us at Second Bloom—outside and bring in your Spring by supporting the SEEDS OF PEACE plant sale to benefit the Shelter Home. Still Planting to End Domestic Violence.
BLACKBERRY GLOW LACE UP YOUR RUNNING SHOES, AND JOIN US DOWNTOWN LENOIR Friday JULY 10th 5K RACE 8:30 p.m. or DARK 1 MILE FUN RUN 8:45 p.m. Take a 5K “GLOW” run through Lenoir, or enjoy a walk/run to benefit the Shelter Home. Visit the Shelter Home website for 5K and Fun Run details. Register on-line
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Proud to be sponsored by the Caldwell County and Alexander County United Way
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RSVP M__________________________ Requests _____ tickets Total of $____________ ($40.00/ticket) Tear off this ticket and mail it back to the Shelter Home in the envelope provided.. We will mail your tickets to you.
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Second Bloom Boutique opened Monday November 10, 2014 At
101 Willow Street Lenoir, NC 828-572-0802 second.bloom@shelterhomecc.org Monday - Friday 9:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. The purpose of Second Bloom Boutique is solely to support the Mission of the Shelter Home and its service to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in our area. We are accepting donations of gently used ladies clothing and accessories. All proceeds from Second Bloom support Shelter Home operations and programs. Please send questions to second.bloom@shelterhomecc.org
We continue to need clothing for ladies and children of all ages for sheltered clients. Donations may be dropped off at the Second Bloom Boutique during hours of operation.
WE NEED FURNITURE! We are in need of gently used furniture, household appliances, and household supplies for residents who are moving into homes after their Shelter stay. Our warehouse is at an all time low. Ladies moving out are in need of bedroom furniture, sofas, dining room tables, silverware, towels, pots and pans, and anything needed for a new apartment or house.
All donations qualify for a tax deductible donation receipt. If you have anything you are willing to give, please contact breanna.mckay@shelterhomecc.org or any of our staff at 828-758-0888.
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Meet MORE OF Our Shelter staff Kim Wycoff Kim has been with the Shelter since October 22, 2014. She first learned about the Shelter Home from the TRIO program at Caldwell Community College. Kim visited one day with the group and was able to learn more information about the facility. Kim and her daughter are both survivors of domestic violence and until working here never realized that the situation she was living in was classified as domestic violence. Some of Kim’s hobbies include reading, photography and writing poetry. Kim recently submitted a piece of poetry to the Branches Literary Magazine at CCC&TI and won first place in the poetry division.
Michelle Clark Michelle first heard about the Shelter Home position opening from her friend and current employee Delana. But she also knew of the Shelter Home through her mother, Kim Clark, Clerk of Court. Michelle started working for the Shelter Home in November 2014 and says she has been loving every minute of it since. Michelle has a true heart for service type work and mission work. Her passion is displayed through volunteering with her church and her school. Since she has always had an interest in helping others, a step into the Shelter Home seemed like a natural progression and continual desire to help and serve others in need. Michelle tells us that her father was also involved with the Shelter Home and attended previous Domestic Violence Vigils. While at home, she heard about DVO court from her mother, hence why she became familiar with the mission of the Shelter Home. Once beginning work at the Shelter, it seemed familiar to her and has become an extension of mission work that is dear to her heart. During her time in high school she enjoyed playing volleyball. Today she enjoys attending Christian concerts and getting to worship with her friends. Michelle also states that she enjoys spending free time with her boyfriend and family.
Anquinett Burnett Anquinett has been with the Shelter Homw since November 2014. She is a great multi-tasking employee assisting in both the Lenoir and Taylorsville offices during the day, working as a Shelter Manager on some evenings and also completing presentations for the Shelter Home’s Speak Up Be Safe Program. Her undergraduate degree is in Social Work from Appalachian State University. Previous job history includes her working with the Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) from 2009-2012. Currently she works as an intensive in home worker at another job and she has been there for over a year. If that were not enough, she is also pursuing her Masters in Counseling at Montreat College.
Congratulations to Jan Nash on her Retirement! Former Staff Member, Jan Nash first started volunteering in 1995. She would visit the Shelter Home to read with children. In 2001, Jan was invited by Dr. Jane Roberts to join the Board of Directors for the Shelter Home. Jan served on the Board for 8 years until she decided to take on a Night Manager position in 2009. After two years she became the Business Manager. And after three years of amazing work, she decided in November of 2014 to retire. Since her retirement she has enjoyed being a grandmother and being active at her church, First Presbyterian in Lenoir. She also plans to continue to return to the Shelter for volunteer work. Jan has been a wonderful supporter, advocate, and leader for the Shelter Home for 20 years and we appreciate her service.
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Shelter Home Staff The Shelter Home provides crisis services 24/7 and is able to do this because of a fine staff which is dedicated to making the Shelter Home a place of “Hope, Help and Healing.”
Sharon Poarch, Executive Director ............................................................................ …………….director@shelterhomecc.org Stephanie Lee, Business Manager .............................................................................. ….businessmanager@shelterhomecc.org Lily Moody, Program Director .................................................................................. ………...lily.moody@shelterhomecc.org Tina Gilbert, Thrift Store Manager……………………………..…….. ……………………………tina.gilbert@shelterhomecc.org Anita Hicks, Victim Advocate - Rape and Sexual Assault……..………………………………….anita.hicks@shelterhomecc.org Kim Watson, Court Advocate ................................................................................... ………..kim.watson@shelterhomecc.org Breanna McKay, Community Outreach Coordinator ................................................. ……breanna.mckay@shelterhomecc.org Delana McCroskey, Child Advocate………………………………………………………..delana.mccroskey@shelterhomecc.org Julie Owens, Victim Advocate - Special Populations……………………………………………...julie.owens@shelterhomecc.org Lisa Clontz, Victim Advocate - Special Populations………………………………………………..lisa.clontz@shelterhomecc.org Brooke Delk, Victim Advocate - Housing and Employment Coordinator………………………brooke.delk@shelterhomecc.org Patty Burke ,Victim Advocate, Alexander County…………………………………………………pattyburke@shelterhomecc.org Dawn Chumley, Court Advocate, Alexander County………………………….....................dawnchumley@shelterhomecc.org Shelter Managers: Marley Lee…………………………………………………………………………………………….marley.lee@shelterhomecc.org Tammy Watts………………………………………………………………………………………tammy.watts@shelterhomecc.org Kim Wyckoff…………………………….………………………………………………………….kim.wyckoff@shelterhomecc.org Michelle Clark…………….…………….………………………………………………………...michelle.clark@shelterhomecc.org Anquinett Burnett……………………….…………………………………………………….anquinett.burnett@shelterhomecc.org
We’re going GREEN- Please request your newsletter be sent by email. Send requests to breanna.mckay@shelterhomecc.org or simply call (828) 758-0888 and ask for Breanna McKay. Get a Volunteer Application and get involved with us! Thank you!
Return Service Requested PO Box 426 Lenoir, NC 28645