SHELTER HOME OF CALDWELL COUNTY, INC. PO BOX 426
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LENOIR, NC 28645
Peaceful Notes J U N E
INSIDE THIS ISSUE:
Why Don’t They Leave?
Why Don’t They Leave?
1
How Can I Help?
2
Shelter Wish List
2
The Fisherman’s Garden
3
Seeds of Hope
3
Donors List
4
Renovation Project
5
Volunteers in Action 5 Board of Directors Nancy Martin Chair Brent Phelps Vice-Chair Chris Cole Secretary Betsy Wilson Treasurer Jennifer Bowman Kim Britt Angie Clark Greg Cornett Anita Dula Debbie Eller Ruth Kincaid Terri Neiderhammer Morris Reaves Rose Reighard Trena Riddle Dr. Jane Roberts Deborah Teeters Shelter Home Phone Numbers: Lenoir (828) 758-0888 Taylorsville (828) 6358055 Crisis Lines: (828) 758-7088 (828) 635-8851 24 hours a day
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Leaving is not easy. On average, it takes a victim seven times to leave before staying away for good. Exiting the relationship is the most unsafe time for a victim. As the abuser senses that they’re losing power, they will often act in dangerous ways to regain control over their victim. We know victim’s frustrations with feeling like the abuse is somehow their fault. If only they’d leave, right? Wrong. We know better. In fact, we’re taking a closer look at 50 reasons why it may be near impossible to leave. In her book “Fifty Obstacles to Leaving, a.k.a., Why Abuse Victims Stay” Sarah M. Buel shares 50 different reasons that she has encountered throughout her 22 years of work in the domestic violence field that victims share for Why they did not leave until…. We will be sharing these with our Newsletter readers in the next four editions of Peaceful Notes. WHY? Because, as advocates, this is the single MOST asked question that we all hear. It is important that people know it is not as simple as it
may appear to someone on the outside looking in. Obstacles 1-10: 1. Advocate: The victim doesn’t have an enthusiastic supporter on their side so they may feel discouraged or hopeless. 2. Batterer: The batterer is wealthy, famous, powerful in the community, etc., and can afford to hire private counsel and pressure decision-makers. 3. Believes Threats: The victim believes the batterer’s threats to kill them and the children if they attempt to leave. 4. Children’s Best Interest: The victim believes it is in the children’s best interest to have both parents in the home, especially if the abuser doesn’t physically abuse the children. 5. Children’s Pressure: The chi l dr en put pr essur e (independently or by the abuser’s influence) on the abused parent to stay with their partner. 6. Culture and Race: Because of differences in race or culture, the victim worries about being treated unequally by the justice system if they come forward, or believes stereotypes about acceptable actions in their own culture. 7. Denial: The victim is in denial about the danger, instead believing that if they
could be better partners, the abuse would stop. 8. Disabled: Victims who are disabled or physically challenged face obstacles in gaining access to court and social services, and may be isolated from basic info about resources. 9. Elderly: Elderly victims may hold traditional beliefs about marriage and believe they must stay, or are dependent on the batterer for care even in the face of physical abuse. 10. Excuses: The victim believes the abuser’s excuses to justify the violence, blaming job stress or substance abuse for example. (This is the first 10 of 50 reasons from Sarah Buel’s 50
Obstacles to Leaving. National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
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How can I help? Have you ever wondered “ What can I do to help?’ There are many ways you can help the Shelter Home Of Caldwell County. Below is a Wish List of items needed at the Shelter on a daily basis. You will find a pledge card if you wish to make a one time gift or give monthly. You may also go to www.shelterhomecc.org and donate through Paypal. However you choose to donate, your help is appreciated by the victims served at the Shelter Home. You can also Volunteer your time. The Shelter is in current need of Child care providers several hours a week and Receptionist / Crisis Call takers. You can find the volunteer opportunities listed on the Shelter webpage. Download the application to volunteer today. If you have questions, please call 828-758-0888. Personal Items
Shelter Home Wish List Household Items Paper Towels Toilet Paper Paper Plates Kleenex Laundry Baskets Dryer Sheets Laundry Detergent Cleaning products Trash Bags Shower Gel Soft Soap Towels Wash Clothes
Food
New Bras Bedroom Slippers Pajamas for Ladies and Children’s PJs Socks
CANNED FOOD Pasta Coffee Creamer Sugar Diapers Size 3, 4 and 5 New bed pillows Twin sheet sets
Miscellaneous Items Alarm Clocks Small Kitchen Appliances
Shaving Cream Razors Deodorant
Gift Cards: Gasoline, Wal-Mart, Grocery Storesf of our clients, we
On behalf of our clients, we accept gently used clothing, furniture, dishes and appliances. Our greatest wish for the Wish List is donated time from volunteers. If you are interested in becoming a part of the mission and work that is the Shelter Home of Caldwell County, contact the Community Outreach Coordinator at (828) 758-0888.
Shelter Home of Caldwell County P.O. Box 426 Lenoir, NC 28645 I pledge to give:_____ $5,000 My pledge is
Pledge Card _____$2,500
_____ $1,000 _____$500 _____$100 or Other $_______
_____ a one time donation _____ Monthly _______Quarterly ______ Annual pledge of support for this Mission. The Shelter Home of Caldwell County, Inc. is a 501(c)3 private non-profit since 1978
I have enclosed my donation of $__________ Name:
__________________________________
Address: __________________________________ Phone: E-mail:
__________________________________ PEACEFUL
NOTES
Pledge is designated for: Shelter Operations____ Capital Project_____ This pledge is in honor of :_______________________________ Mail notification to:_____________________________________ _____________________________________
__________________________________ Proud to be sponsored by the United Way of Caldwell County and United Way of and Alexander County
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The Fisherman's Garden Mid-May John Elian of the Fisherman's Garden came by the Shelter and spoke with Executive Director, Sharon Poarch about starting a raised bed vegetable garden on the Shelter Home’s adjacent lot. Fisherman’s Garden is a project of the Unitarian Universalists of Caldwell County. The Fisherman’s Garden has started two raised beds
Give a man a fish; he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish; he will eat for life."
at the Shelter. The purpose of these beds are to teach clients and their children how to raise and maintain a garden; as well as, having a fresh produce source for the shelter. John and volunteers have visited several times to nurture the garden. Staff members and clients have been assisting in watering and
weeding the garden— and harvesting our first vegetables of the year.
Thank You to the “Seeds of Hope 2013” Sponsors Staff and Clients would like to say “Thank You” to the very generous donors listed below. Without your support we could not continue to serve victims of Domestic Violence. Curves Complete
All-American Jersey
Delicate Touch Florist
Turning Heads Hair Salon & Tanning
Rococo Rionel
Holiday Pools & The Fireside Shop
Riviera Tan Baton Tire and Auto
The Rusty Rooster Kimbrell’s Greene’s Furniture
Bolick’s Discount Tire
Venti’s Casa All God’s Creatures Hickory Crawdad’s Baseball
Cedar Rock Home Furnishings
A very special Thank You to the youth and adults from St. Paul Christian Church in Raleigh for their mission work at the Shelter Home .
White Tire Center Appalachian Tire and Auto
River Valley Pets
Bo’s of Lenoir Catawba Science Center
Ty Watts, Lenoir Golf Club
Yesteryear’s Antiques and Collectibles
Bumgarner Camping Center
Treasures Gifts
O! My Soap!
Not-Just-Fishin
Studio 131
Lake Hickory Veterinary Hospital
Guns Too
Garon’s Jewelry
Cajah’s Mtn. Discount Drug
Sherrill’s Jewelry
Sawmills Hardware and Supply
The Gold Mine
Suzanne’s Flowers & Gifts
Goody’s in Taylorsville Nature’s Edge in Flowers for Less
Mine by Design Studio Sherwin-Williams
Granite Hardware LLC
The Salon at Park Square
Martin and Company Trilla S. Annas
Antiques and More Alray Tire Center
Cottage 321
O’Reilly Auto Parts Granite Drug Center Top Choice Grooming Salon Club Canine PEACEFUL
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American Trade and Loan
Communities in Schools Compensatory Education Class
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We are grateful for your monetary donations this quarter in 2013
Allison & Brent Jensen Allison & Donald Stewart Altrusa Club of Caldwell County Alvin Daughtridge Ann Hancock Ann Miller Annette Beam Baker Tire Center, Inc Barbara F Freiman Barbara Hartley Basil & Linda Roberts Becky & Herb Stevens Betsy M Herron Betty & Eugene Purcell Jr Betty Early Bobbie & Harry Curtis Caron & James Wike Cedar Rock Baptist Church Chili & Company Christopher Cole College Avenue Baptist Church
Evelyn Beam
Lida Martinat
Fellowship Baptist Church Inc
Lily Moody
First Prebyterian Church of Lenoir
Linda Campbell
Flemings Chapel Baptist Church
Magda Colton
Frances Scheil
Marjorie O Strawn
Gail & Richard Greer
Mary & Osborne MacGuire
Galye & Samuel Trivette
Mary Gail & Allen Stewart
Valeria & Dale Andrews
Governors Crime Commission
Megan Roberts
Valerie & Peter Purcell MD
Grey Scheer
Melissa & Scott Jett
Wanda Prince
Gwendolyn Elaine Phillips
Mr & Mrs Oscar Dobereiner
Hattie Steele Missionary Circle
Mr & Mrs Wilbern Brown (Willie)
Heidi E Downs
Nancy T Martin
Winnefred I. Harding
Hudson United Methoist Women
NC Council for Women
Ingunn & Gerald Griffin
Norma Suddreth
Yadkin Valley Baptist Church
Jamie Jennings
Options, Inc.
Jan C Nash
Pamela Thomas
Jan Pennell
Patricia E Barry
Jane Carswell Roberts MD
Patricia Gale Pennington
Janet & James Spoon Jr
Poovey's Chapel Baptist Church
Janet Wilson
Reliable Insurance Agency, Inc.
Janine & Matthew Hannibal
Unifour Community Foundation
Janna Stefanek
Rev Parker & Patricia Williamson
Jeanne & Sandy Winkler
Reva M Pennell
Jeannie M Corriher
Richard & Dorothy Hedrick
Jeff & Rita Joines
Robin & Greg Cornett
Jennie Deal
Rose Reighard
Debra Philyaw
Jessie Roper
Ruth L Kincaid
Diane Carpenter
Joan Snyder
Sharon Porach
Diane Jensen
Johnna W Coffey
Sheila Miller
Donna & James Bradshaw
Joyce & Barry Edwards
Shirley Gray
Donna Whitson
Judith E Barlow
Steffanie M Jimenez
Dr & Mrs. Robert S. Belk
Julie Miller Gootman
Susan & Bob Powers
Dr Annie K Prestwood
Kathryn R Jackson
TelecomPioneers
Drs Debra & Dennie Templeton
Kathy McAteer
Teresa Almquist
Elaine Bush
Kim Watson
Elizabeth & Wayne Keller Elizabeth (Betsy) Wilson
Kimberly B Britt Lavina Smith
Elizabeth (Lily) Bunch
Lee Carol & Bob Giduz
Emergency Solutions Program
Lee Cox
Ervil Anderson
Lenoir Service League
Confidence Advent Christian Connie & Martin Vermillion Dawn Carroll Deborah Ashley Smith Debra L Eller
The Shelter Home is now serving victims of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault in Caldwell and Alexander Counties.
United Way of Alexander County United Way Of Caldwell County
Warren West
Z.Smith Reynolds Foundation Inc
Donations were made to the Shelter Home this quarter in Honor Of: Jane Carswell Roberts by Bobbie and Harry Curtis
Donations were made to the Shelter Home this quarter in Memory Of: Arthur Carswell by Bobbie and Harry Curtis Judy Carswell Avent and Arthur Carswell by Drs. Debra and Dennie Templeton Judy Carswell Avent by Jane Carswell Roberts
Terri S Niederhammer The Jonas Foundation Town of Gamewell Trilla Annas UMW Gamewell
http://shelterhomecc.org
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Renovation and Expansion
Clients are enjoying newly constructed bedrooms, and more spacious and comfortable Community Living areas .
The Renovation and Expansion project is nearly complete. In mid April, clients moved into the new bedrooms while renovation began on the existing Shelter. Many of the Bedrooms have been “adopted” by sponsors, and will have new furniture arriving. Before the renovation, clients shared one washer and dryer. Now they have 3 sets to use which makes daily life much simpler. Could you imagine sharing your washer and dryer with 20 other people? Last year the shelter
served almost 400 women and children. We were at or over capacity and full 79 times in 2012 when victims needed shelter, and we had to help locate shelter in other areas for them. Sometimes the shelter overflowed its capacity and the toy room was used for overflow. Now, with a total of 15 bedrooms and capacity for 40 people, the Shelter Home will be able to better meet the demands for emergency shelter for victims in both Caldwell and Alexander counties. Without the support of the community, this very necessary but very ambitious
project would not have been possible. This Renovation has been a “Journey of Renewal” for our mission of service to the victims of domestic violence and sexual violence in our community.
"Extend a hand whether or not you know it shall be grasped." Ryunosuke Satoro
Volunteers in Action The past few months have been very busy at the Shelter Home of Caldwell County. Employees and clients moved out of the existing part of the shelter into the newly built edition. Ten volunteers assisted in the move . The Shelter also hosted “ Seeds of Hope” at 1841 Café. Volunteers Jennifier Houge, Sue Bumgarner and Heidi Downs helped with the event. Wilma Mikeal helped with gathering donations for the silent auction. We now have a new reception area and with that reception area comes a need for volunteers . If you would like to volunteer as a receptionist,
please contact Hope Bumgarner at 758-0888. We have moved Domestic Violence Group meetings to Tuesday at 5:307:30pm. We need volunteers for childcare for this group as well as our RASA Group which meets every other Thursday. Jerry Crump, Jerry Greene, Russel Colvard, Willie Lefevers and George Carrol (pictured right) helped relocate 3 storage buildings from our Taylorsville office to the Lenoir Location. These gentlemen also assist in moving clients from the shelter into their New housing when there is a need.
If you would like to volunteer at the Shelter Home of Caldwell County, please v i s i t o u r w e b p a g e www.shelterhomecc.org and look under Volunteer Opportunities to see how you can help. Shelter Staff and clients would like to say “Thank you“ to ALL our volunteers.
Shelter Home Staff The Shelter Home provides crisis services 24/7 and is able to do this because of a fine staff which is dedicated to making the Shelter Home a place of “Hope, Help and Healing”.
Sharon Poarch, Executive Director .................................................................... director@shelterhomecc.org Jan Nash, Business Manager ............................................................................. businessmanager@shelterhomecc.org Lisa Triplett, Court Advocate ............................................................................ courtadvocate@shelterhomecc.org Kim Watson, Rape & Sexual Assault/Child Advocate....................................... rasa@shelterhomecc.org Lily Moody, Domestic Violence Program Manager ........................................... domesticviolence@shelterhomecc.org Hope Bumgarner, Community Outreach Coordinator………………………..volunteercoordinator@shelterhomecc.org Shannon West, Child Advocate…………………………………………………....childadvocate@shelterhomecc.org Tina Gilbert, Housing Coordinator…………………………………………………housingcrd@shelterhomecc.org Patty Burke ,Victim Advocate Alexander County…………………………………pattyburke@shelterhomecc.org Dawn Chumley, Court Advocate Alexander County……………………………..dawnchumley@shelterhomecc.org Shelter Managers: Barbara Price, Safety Program Manager ............................................................ nmbarbara@shelterhomecc.org Anita Hicks…………………………………………………… …………………….nmanita@shelterhomecc.org Jan Smith……………………………………………………………………...……..nmjansmith@shelterhomecc.org Hannah Lowman………………………………………………………………...….nmhannah@shelterhomecc.org E-mail us or Contact us at: 828-758-0888 Fax: 828-758-8949
We’re going GREEN- Please request your newsletter be sent by email. Send request to volunteercoordinator@shelterhomecc.org or simply call (828) 758-0888 and ask for the Community Outreach Coordinator. Get a Volunteer Application and get involved with us! Thank you!
Return Service Requested PO Box 426 Lenoir, NC 28645