SSD: Issue 11

www.studentdirect.co.uk

11

Monday 6 December 2010

Hot or Not

Does education kill creativity?

Pointless Nostalgia

Page 4

Page 5

Page 37

Countdown to

MEDIA CITY

Emily Barker

S

tudents and staff gathered for a special event on Monday 29 November, celebrating the handover of the keys to the University’s new building at Media City.

Despite the bitter cold temperatures, hundreds of people came to Maxwell Hall and were treated to an innovative 3D projection on the side of the building.

The new building on Salford Quays will be home to 1,500 students and staff from autumn next year and will have state of the art facilities in the areas of media and digital technology.

The University's Director of Media City, Jon Corner, said: "We wanted to celebrate the key handover by doing something fresh and different but also inclusive. The projection we created reflects how

science, creativity and art will combine through the digital programmes we will offer at Media City.

"This unique projection lets people know that our move to Media City is well underway and I hope it demonstrates our ambition to really make the most of this opportunity for students, staff, partner organisations and the local community."

On the day students were encouraged to enter a competition, by cracking an anagram which was hidden in the projection, with prizes which included an iPad and a day's experience at Sumners, one of the largest post-production facilities outside London.

Jon Corner explained that the University of Salford’s link with Media City will put the institution in a unique position, as other universities will not be able to provide the same level of technology.

The building will overlook the main

piazza and will sit next to the BBC; it will offer 39 courses to undergraduates and postgraduates including Audio Technology, Journalism, Animation, Computer and Video Games, Digital Broadcast Technology, and Creative Technology.

Professor Brian Longhurst of PVC Media and Digital Futures said of the University’s place in the complex “I think it’s a fabulously important area of development, in its own right and a major contribution to the University.

“I think it will play a significant part in providing future employment opportunities, fantastic new curriculum, loads of innovation opportunities and loads of opportunities to work with outside agencies.”

The building will include HD TV studios, radio broadcast studios, a living lab research facility, media suite, digital media and performance lab, postproduction facilities, edit facilities, lecture

theatres with live streaming, meeting pods and dubbing theatres.

combination of practical technology available.”

Jon Corner went on to say “All the campus has been designed with digital media in mind, so the ground floor for example is a very interactive space; we have digital performance labs, interactive spaces for the students, cutting edge digital installations; it should be a really fantastic experience.

The University will join other media outlets such as the BBC at the new development.

Then we’ve got digital studios, TV studios – it’s just incredible the

There are already strong links with the BBC as the head of BBC North Peter Salmon came in to give a talk with students last month.

Students can log on to www.salford.ac.uk/future to enter the competition and find out more about the University and Media City.

02: News

December 6th 2010 / Salford Student Direct www.salfordstudents.com

Editorial Hello folks, First some sad news - for the whole week your dear editor has been battling against the dreaded flu, meaning that there are fewer pages than normal.

06.12.10 News Page 02 News Page 03 Arts Page 04 Hot or Not Femi Kui & Positive Force Jenny and Johnny

Comment Page 05 Does Education Kill Creativity?

Cynic’s Eye

Breaktime Page 36 Top 10 Things Erasmus Times Alice Blue

Lifestyle Page 37 Pointless Nostalgia When I Rule the World Mac Toot Comic

Union Page 39 Sabbs Column

Sport Page 40 Sports Round Up Rec Night is back

I want to say a huge thank you to all my writers who helped me get through this week, without them then there would be nothing to read and you’d be treated to 12 blank pages.

Next week will see the last Student Direct of this term; I hope you are all ready for a welcome break from essays and exams, and don’t come down with the same illness as me!

Now the term is nearly at an end, the next big event for the University of Salford’s Students’ Union will be the elections!

If you head to page 39, your current Vice President Jim Dale gives you the lowdown on what’s it’s like to run for a position in the Union. It’s never too early to think about standing.

For now though, enjoy your penultimate edition of the paper!

Emily

Sudanese Slave Victim Speaks at Salford University Conference Mark Cockroft

A new play, which was recently premiered at Manchester’s Lowry theatre, has been promoted at a Salford University conference and the Sudanese woman at the heart of the story was a guest speaker at the event.

Mende Nazer was kidnapped as a girl and forced to work in Sudan’s capital, Khartoum, before being moved into the residence of a member of the Sudanese Embassy in London.

Mende eventually escaped, but her appeal to remain in the UK was refused before a high profile campaign helped her gain asylum in 2002.

The play, Slave - A Question of Freedom, is based on the Mende’s autobiography, Slave, which she put together with the help of writer and filmaker Damien Lewis, who also spoke at the conference.

Channel 4 and Slate Films recently made a drama, I Am Slave, which was also inspired by the Mende’s story.

The Salford conference focused on telling true stories through narrative, and using literature and the stage to relay experiences such as Mende’s. A number of academics, community groups and human rights and performance professionals attended the event.

The conference was organised by Dr Matt Boswell, who said: "Mende's story is terrifying and her willingness to share this story is a tribute to her bravery. People associate the word slavery with the old trans-Atlantic slave trade - but it is still happening now, right on our doorstep.”

"At the conference we had a number of interesting discussions about how people like Mende explore their experiences through the use of storytelling. Salford has a strong emphasis on supporting research on human rights, diversity and the creative industries and this event also linked to all of these themes."

A live performance of the play was seen by those who attended, and for Mende, this was her first oppurtunity to watch her story brought to live on the stage.

Following the performance a panel session was carried out with Mende herself taking questions from the audience. She concluded: "I am one of the lucky ones. I have a voice and can speak out, and I want to use my story to help others who are not as fortunate.”

"My story is very powerful and sometimes overwhelming, but I know that it will educate and raise awareness of not only slavery in Sudan, but around the world, even here in the UK."

Contacts @ Student Direct: Salford Edition Postal Address

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Cartoon: Mac Toot Photography: Jonathan Isaacs jonathan@jonathanisaacs.com Drew Forsyth

News :03

Salford Student Direct / December 6th 2010 www.salfordstudents.com

Students’ Union Elections It’s never too early to start thinking about running for a position in the University of Salford Students’ Union elections.

Keep reading Salford Student Direct for more information or log on to www.salfordstudents.com

Turn to page 39 to read the current Vice President in Science and Technology, Jim Dale’s account of what it’s really like to run whether you win or lose.

To find out more about the elections and the way your Union is run, come to the Students’ Union’s Annual General Meeting on Wednesday 2 February.

Remember you can make a real difference at your Union.

The end of the Salfordian?

Give It A Go Student Staff Needed Fancy earning some extra cash? If you’re reliable and outgoing and don’t mind talking to people you don’t know, Student Activities needs you!

We are looking for student staff to help promote our Give It A Go activities programme to other students at Salford. There are several paid positions available and working hours are flexible, although you must be available to work during the week commencing 7 February 2011.

To apply, or for further information, contact Student Activities at studentactivities-ussu@salford.ac.uk

by Monday 13 December.

Elliot Millward

WITH the decision on whether the only maternity unit in Salford will remain open being made in a matter of days, more and more people are supporting the campaign to keep it open. The decision is to be made by the heads of NHS Northwest on 3 December.

The maternity unit at Salford Royal Hospital, formerly known as Hope Hospital, is the only maternity unit in the whole of Salford. For this reason, if the decision is made to close down

the unit, it will spell the end of the true Salfordian.

There is almost 100% opposition by local people to this closure and a massive campaign has been underway since September to try and prevent the closing of the maternity unit. The Keep Hope Maternity Open campaign has been backed by many people including stars such as Manchester United stalwart, Ryan Giggs, who is a Salfordian himself. He said: “I'm supporting the campaign to keep the maternity unit open 100 percent.

My two children were both born at the hospital and it is something I feel very strongly about. Salford

is a city and it is really important for the identity of the city that babies can be born here.”

Other stars that have backed the bid to keep the unit open include local actor John Thomson and Salford City Reds captain Malcolm Alker. John Thomson said: “I was born there, my beautiful daughters were born there, it would be a tragedy to see it go, especially when it has upheld such a strong reputation for all these years.” Malcolm Alker said: “My daughter was born there and Hope hospital is a big part of the community in Salford and to be born there you're a thoroughbred Salfordian.”

After their first meeting on the third of November the heads of NHS northwest decided to defer the decision on Hope’s maternity unit for a month until the third of December, only days away. The decision was postponed as they are waiting for a report from the National Clinical Advisory Team on the plans for the unit. Campaigners hope that the decision makers will take into account the policy of the new NHS White Paper which emphasises “shared decision making” and says that there will be “no decision about me – without me”.

Shock Radio To Hold AGM After a successful first semester’s broadcast, it’s time once again for Shock Radio’s Annual General Meeting. AGMs are held once a year, and allow for changes in the structure of the management of societies. All societies and sports clubs hold AGMs.

Shock Radio’s AGM takes place on Thursday, 9 December at 4pm in Boardroom 1 in University House, where members meet to decide which current members will take the station forward for the next year to December 2011.

Support your Salford Social The Salford Social is the best way you can spend a Wednesday night. The Students’ Union introduced the Social so that Salford students have their own special club night in Manchester each and every week.

The Union gets a share of ticket income for the Salford Social which means that by coming along, you’re not only guaranteed a great time, but you’ll also be contributing money which is reinvested into the organisation and spent on YOU. In fact, the more you support the night, the more you get out of it, as the Union will have more money to spend on student activity groups, representation work, events and much, much more.

One of Manchester’s best loved clubs, 42nd Street hosts the Salford Social, playing a good mix of most musical styles from chart, 80’s, 90's, dubstep, disco, 60’s, with a bit of indie thrown in for good measure. Plus it’s a measly £2 to get in, with most drinks costing a pound – bargain!

Every Wednesday, there is the pre party in Bar Yours, come along and join other students before they make their way over.

Get your tickets in advance at www.42ndstreetnightclub.co.uk or from General Office and Bar Yours in University House, and the Students' Union shops in Horlock Court, the Allerton and Adelphi Buildings.

Calling all Activity Groups – Earn Extra Cash The Salford Social can earn your activity group money! 42nd Street are looking for clubs and societies to sell tickets to their members and you’ll earn 50p for every ticket you sell. The money will go directly to your activity group to be used as your group wishes.

Hold your social at the Salford Social and you can also take advantage of free karaoke!

For more information, contact Helen Wilkinson: h.wilkinson@salford.ac.uk Find out more about the Salford Social at: www.salfordstudents.com/42s

You don’t even need to pick up a copy to read it.

Salford Student Direct is also available online at

www.salfordstudents.com

Foodnow4u.com is a web cookbook for you. It's about How to eat delicious food as cosily, as quickly, and as cheaply as you like best. Using the least heat when cooking the most lovely meals. It costs u least money 'cos u use least power. This chills Mumsie Nature, and it ups yr street-cred too. Have fun ! .

04: ARTS

December 6th 2010 / Salford Student Direct www.salfordstudents.com

the RE-ViEW Hot or Not Tom Miller

HOT PULLED APART

BY HORSES – YEAH BUDDY (SINGLE) – Two minutes and twentyseven seconds of awesomeness. They’re absolutely mad, the song is brilliant, although get the self titled album instead because it’s fantastic.

SYSTEM OF A DOWN – They’re back. It’s the best news since the re-unification of East and West Germany.

SIMIAN MOBILE DISCO – DELICACIES (ALBUM) – Techno! Yeah, the boys from SMD have brought out a gem here. All the songs are to do with different foods the band have sampled whilst touring the world. Fun, eh? Seriously though, it’s good.

MARK RONSON FT BOY GEORGE – SOMEBODY TO LOVE ME (SINGLE) – Awesome beats, Boy George pulls it off pretty well too.

Ronson is a stupidly clever guy; he still hasn’t reached his potential yet though.

WOLFGANG – LIONS IN CAGES (SINGLE) – Indie pop does need to die a disgusting horrible death, but this song isn’t too bad. You know, for indie pop.

NOT N-DUBZ – LOVE.LIVE.LIFE (ALBUM) – N-Dubz would be a much better group if they stopped with the music thing and worked in Sainsbury’s or Tesco or something.

BLACK EYED PEAS – THE BEGINNING (ALBUM) – Truly awful.

Praying this is in fact not the beginning, but more the beginning of the end.

X FACTOR – Now Wagner’s gone, what’s the point anymore?

Femi Kuti & Positive Force

at Band on the Wall Rakhi Sinha

Afrobeat Fusion, the signature style of the late, great Fela Kuti, lives on through his son, Femi, who bought his new album to Band on the Wall last Monday.

The statuesque Nigerian is a slick entertainer and rather than just bang out renditions of his father’s songs, Femi and his band played their own with a unique slant on the Afrobeat style that made his father an international success.

From the moment the concert started the space was consumed into a bubble of frantic energy that lasted for two whole hours.

From beginning to end there was barely a moment for band or crowd alike to catch their breath.

It was a high-energy affair that was an infectious assault on the senses.

“It’s Lagos, it’s Africa, it’s Africa beat. We have a new album and tonight we’re going to get acquainted with it,” announced Femi.

His powerful voice and sax playing were supported by the rhythmic percussion, heavy bass and vocals of his ten-piece band, Positive Force, who were

dressed in bright blue African attire. Also on the stage which was already close to bursting, were three scantily-clad, female backing singers/dancers.

The gyrating women captivated the crowd as their tassels swivelled up and down and they shook their bits. Apart from the odd vocals, they spent most of their time with their backs to the audience so that focus was very much concentrated on their ample posteriors.

The raw, powerful beats and frenetic liveliness emanating from the stage meant that pretty soon everybody was dancing and cheering with arms in the air.

On regular occasions throughout the theatrical performance, Femi bought the sell-out crowd into the show with a call of ‘oh la la la la’ to which the they responded ‘u lu lu lu lu” before he launched into another song, an amusing anecdote or a lecture on African slavery.

“Are you feeling good? I see most of you are jumping, are you tired now? Do you have any kind of heart problem?” He said before moving into what he described as the ‘more lively’ part of the show.

He delighted the audience, particularly those from his native Lagos for whom he played ’97,’ written about his father who died of AIDS-related complications in that year. He said that he didn’t normally play that song but would as a special treat for the enthusiastic crowd who devoured it with massive cheers.

Earlier this summer, Femi performed at the World Cup

opening ceremony with the song ‘Beng Beng Beng,’ which was banned years back in Nigeria because of its sexually explicit content. It seems that things are more open these days as Femi went on to give the audience his view of the differences between the two sexes and advised the men in the crowd how not to burst their bubble too soon:

With that, the band launched into their final song before Femi, dripping in sweat, led his band off stage. Stomping, cheering and wild clapping forced the band back for three more high-tempo songs before the crowd dispersed satisfied but totally exhausted.

“It’s about control of the body, control of the mind. I’m a professor of sexology!”

Femi Kuti and Positive Force’s new album, ‘Africa for Africa’ is out now.

friend who still seems to rabbit on about it on Facebook.

the music would be better if he was Zooey’s Him. That is the only comparison with indie pop’s other power couple. This music though, it just isn’t original. It sounds dated in the same way of Lewis’ previous solo album, and Rice’s solo material. That would be the problem, this album is a 70s record released in 2010, and the 70s were a long time ago.

Jenny and Johnny I’m Having Fun Now Tom Miller

Jenny Lewis (Rilo Kiley) and Johnathan Rice (her boyfriend, and singer/songwriter and producer and other stuff ) have been together for a good five years. It makes sense that they should make an album together then, really. It’s very folk rock, and it’s very 70s. It sounds much happier than Lewis’ “Acid Tongue”, and anything that Rice has done, but there’s so much arguing about their relationship, you can’t help but wonder if the next album is

gonna be called “I’m Having a Divorce Now”.

It is a good album, and ticks all the folky boxes of indie pop quite well. They harmonise gloriously and the lyrics are sort of meaningful sometimes, but other times you know they’re just having a laugh. That’s the whole point of the record really, they’re just having some fun.

There is nothing about having fun that is necessarily bad, and happiness is all well and good in music, up to an extent.

Clearly the lyrics with the fighting are a bit tongue in cheek – otherwise why would

they have done the record?

Even if some of their songs touch of darker subjects, like with the economic climate in “Big Wave”, they seem so joyful about the fact they’re singing together that part of it makes you want to throw up - if you’re single.

But that would indeed be the point in albums done by artists who have relationships. All they seem to sing about is the fact that they are in relationships.

Whilst this album would be a lovely (either part of a present or) present for Christmas for your partner, it wouldn’t go down so well with your single

All grumpyness aside, the music rumbles on. To say it’s not interesting and thought provoking would be a lie, but to do that you’ve got to get past the fact that they’re singing it – sort of in the same way that any bloke who is listening to She and Him can’t help but feel that

Comment :05

Salford Student Direct / December 6th 2010 www.salfordstudents.com

Comment Does education kill creativity?

For

Against Emily Barker

Laura Johnson

There are two reasons why I would argue that education kills creativity. The first is that there is an over-emphasis on the subjects of Maths, English and Science. The second is an emphasis on passing exams in order to show your capabilities.

This applies at all levels of the education system.

So, to discuss the first.

Throughout our primary school education we are taught mostly these three subjects. Our first exams are in these subjects. I have reports and workbooks from when I was five years old: in shaky, oversized print, I was learning how to spell even then. Crosses all over the page indicate that my grasp of maths was shaky – and it has never really recovered. Child’s drawings of plants show how I learnt about the natural world. I did not learn anything about history or the heritage of my own country until high school. I taught myself an instrument – music classes were a treat, not included on the curriculum.

This

over-emphasis

on

Maths, English and Science is particularly exacerbated in secondary school. You are forced to take these subjects throughout your life. Now, I’m not denying that such subjects are important.

However, I can’t remember most of the Maths I did at high school and I know I’ll never use it. What was the point in stressing me out at the time, then, with the knowledge that I struggled with it? Physics is another subject I will never ever use, yet I still stressed over passing it for five years.

This brings me on to my next bone of contention with the education system – there is a massive emphasis on teaching people how to pass exams, rather than teaching them how to think critically.

Exams, when it comes down to it, are not the best measure of intelligence and they are certainly not the best measure of how well you know a subject. Nerves, fear of failing, exam-related insomnia, writer’s block or just having a bad day can effect how well you perform

A Cynic’s Eye View

#11

course you’re not. You’re directed to go and play.

We are taught through imagination and exploration. When you were in reception clutching your favourite toy and playing in house corner – you were completely unaware that this was the start of your learning process.

in an exam and thus effect the rest of your life. Exams are certainly not an expression of creativity – they’re an expression of how well you can learn by rote and regurgitate that information in a limited period of time.

It’s not all bad news. The education system is slowly improving. Yet I still think it kind of needs to be stated in schools that it’s OK if you’re not amazing at Maths, it’s OK if your English isn’t the best.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and learning how to do sums by rote and being penalised for not being able to spell is not the way to seek out strengths. It’s merely a demoralising way of highlighting weaknesses.

The reason you are here right now is directly linked with the way you were schooled and taught for almost all of your life. Education is one of the most important factors in who we become and what we achieve.

You can look at as many statistics and newspaper articles condemning the system as you want, but what really counts is a child’s individual experience – what they personally gained. Creativity cannot be measured in statistics. It can be used to improve education, learning and overall intelligence, but there is no scale by which to say who is more creative. Therefore you have to start at the beginning: your first day at school.

So you wander in clutching a lunch box and your mum waves a tearful goodbye – are you directed straight to a classroom and forced to learn how to spell the word cat? Of

This week the subject of my cynicism has been, predictably, whistle-blowing. Or, to be more specific – since I’m sure nobody would disagree with the notion that it’s a good thing, save for maybe the US government – reactions to whistleblowing.

Last week a delightful little website known as Wikileaks published the contents of a multitude of leaked cables. I suppose the reaction in Washington must have been similar to a husband being caught in bed with another woman, since the cables do not particularly mince their words when it comes to things like criticism of the British government (you know, the government that has been a close partner and ally of the US since 1945, and

It is called supervised play and it is the most important part of education, it is the crux by which all the rest of your learning is based on.

When you were playing mummies and daddies in house corner you were learning communication skills, when you found out that if you add water to sand its texture changes – you were learning technical skills. You were discovering how the world works.

Our education system allows us to do this.

We forget that creativity is not just the arts – it is everything. We use it in numeracy, science, literacy.

Creativity is a method, it brings theories to life.

If you look at an organisation like creativity, culture and education – they bring artists, architects and scientists into schools to work with teachers to inspire young people and help them learn.

They receive most of their funding from the Arts council and it is a sad shame that their work might

not be able to continue – but I am talking about right now and what they have achieved so far.

They have created over 8,000 creative educational projects across the country, they have involved around 60,000 parents and 55,000 teachers. What they do is basic but it is the essence of bringing that creative element to schools.

Ofsted visited 44 schools and found that almost all were using creative approaches which had a "perceptible and positive impact on pupils' personal development and on their preparation for life beyond school".

As an individual I never felt like I was being stifled through school, and I gained the basic skills needed to go into any job I wanted.

In the end it needs to be said that the education system is flawed, of course it is – like the NHS, social services or any publicly funded service – it is flawed.

The reasons – money, a lack of resources, a lack of time, but it is improving and if you think that 50 years ago we didn’t even know what emotional intelligence was, or how creativity effected learning and now it has become a major part of the system.

Does education kill creativity? Bad education kills it dead, but good education opens the doors to creativity.

that sent men to their deaths in order to help them out). The cables cover other subjects too – the relationship between China and Korea as perceived by US officials, what Prince Andrew really thinks about journalists and the French, concerns about Iran’s nuclear weapons programme, the “unusually close” relationship between Putin and Burlosconi, and US speculations about the psychological capabilities of Cristina Kirchner, the president of Argentina.

That’s not all, either – more documents are going to be released in stages over the next few months. Oops.

Now, admittedly I’m not one of the many diplomats who will be currently working around the clock to try and sort out what amounts to a global diplomatic crisis – I’m just a student, reading with some amusement as accusations fly and events unfold.

However, I think I should be permitted some scepticism at the US’ response to the leaks. Surely it would have been better for them to simply hold up their hands and say: “Hey. Sorry guys. We messed up big time. Won’t do it again. Drinks sometime? Love America.” Instead the US has thrown their toys out of the pram – some of them claiming that Wikileaks should be classed as a terrorist organisation (yes, yes I know, I’m beginning to think that’s their answer for everything too).

Truth hurts, America. Truth hurts.

34: LIFESTYLE

December 6th 2010 /Salford Student Direct www.salfordstudents.com

Lifestyle

When I Rule the World . . .

Sam Cryer

I’m wondering if the news of a winter freeze with several feet of snow is just what the doctor ordered. The fact is that every time I log on to BBC news these days, it is a depressing brick wall of absolute turmoil, celebrity troubles and political woe! But what a pleasure it would be to rule the world. Apart from the ethical duties of shaking Obama’s hand, making Donald Trump and Alan Sugar live in an Indian slum for a year, or even better, making David Cameron live in the real world for a year…

Well, there are loads of light hearted possibilities to think of…

RULE ONE: Miss KATE MIDDLETON, how beautiful you are. I could look up to you, I could rush out to buy that engagement dress, and I will appreciate that extra day off next year, thank you very much. But as waity Kate announced her date, there was something just not quite right about this being described as a ‘rags to riches’ story. Come on England, lets have a good front page next time – Kerry Katona sticking her ring-clad fingers up at the cameras would be a bit more exciting. (take note Harry) Maybe we could all actually start liking Katie Price if her right to a public opinion was taken away?

RULE TWO: I guess another must-do would be sorting out that North Korean lot, but before that I’d have to think a bit closer to home. Lots of free stuff for the generation that missed out on everything! Free vegetable seeds for everyone to grow and the installation of a free flavoured water tap in every home. Apple, raspberry or orange, enriched with vitamins and yummy minerals. More importantly, free education!

But who will pay for this… I hear Daily Mail readers and my Gran shout… Well, with headlines such as Vodaphone’s unpaid six billion pound tax bill and David ‘Digi Cam’ Cameron looking for a pricey personal photographer, it is no surprise that the money for all of these things is out there. How many times have we been told that 2% of the population own 80% of the wealth? Yet how many times have we protested? I don’t actually think it’s necessary to rule the world for this one. Use your vote, use your voice and get out and do something about all this before it’s too late!

RULE THREE: Phew! Back to the light hearted. Finally, if I really did rule the world, I would make the world’s international dish FISH FINGERS! So versatile, healthy and full of flavour! I think the world needs a bit of laughter, a bit of joy. A bit of fish in breadcrumbs to take away the stress of the day? Yes! Everyone likes fish fingers,

Twas the night before Ebay What would you do if you ruled the world?

Send your three rules to Gemma Blackman at

Pointless

Nostalgia

Chris Mottershaw

gemma_blackman@hotmail.co.uk even Kate Middleton. Take six, seven or 100 fish fingers, oven on 180 for 12 minutes. Take one tortilla wrap. Spread with cream cheese.

Wrap open, fish fingers, beans if you’re lucky, close and done. I call this The Sandwich of The World. If I ruled the world I’d eat it every day.

Twice a day. I’d let every turkey live this Christmas and I’d create a fish finger volcano with beans in the middle for everyone to enjoy.

Happy Christmas!

The awkward moment on Christmas morning. The presents you have bought are being opened right in front of your eyes. They are past the horrendous attempt at wrapping, and are now down to the actual gift. Try as you might to hide your anxiety, you can’t. Then the awkward words sound, “Oh, thanks” Christmas shopping, for some a major element of enjoyment during the festive season, for others (yours truly) a time of year that induces pure shopping horror. I’ve never been a good shopper, but December shopping was enough to put me through a host of sleepless nights. But thankfully, all that is now in the past thanks to online shopping!

Does this mean that I’m missing out though? Will the festive season rush past me like another naff holiday such as pancake day?

I fondly remember walking into my town centre and being in awe at the magnificent tree decked out in all its glory, the Christmas lights twinkling above my head and the queues for the shops wrapping right around the shopping centre! But with Christmas cheer in my heart, I whistled my way into HMV to grab a DVD for my dad.

And then I saw it, a Clint Eastwood box set standing proud and alone on a very barren shelf, just waiting for me.

As soon as I placed my fingers on the cellophane wrapper, another hand

appeared and attempted to pick up the treasure.

‘How dare they?’ I thought as I turned, ‘This was my set, fair and square!’

But as I caught her face, a foot below mine and sporting a lovely blue rinse perm, I hesitated. My opponent was an elderly lady carrying a walking stick, and supporting herself on a tartan trolley. Do I appeal to her wise and generous nature, or use my young man’s physical grip strength to my advantage and then repent later?

My hesitation was my downfall though, as that sneaky little ninja beat me with her stick until I let go of the DVDs, and then flicked me a mint as she limped off. And did the store have another copy? Yes, in the Kings Cross store in London, about 200 miles from my current location. Great.

Christmas was bleak in my house that year, my father wasn’t too keen on his ‘Terrible Teens Telescope’. Well, he did tell me he liked astronomy!

Thankfully, the year afterwards the internet took hold and online shopping became the saviour we all prayed for. This enabled the avoidance of any moral dilemmas and ass woopings off old age hooligans.

So what’s for Christmas this year?

Clint Eastwood of course, this’ll be his fourth boxset.

36: BREAKTIME

December 6th 2010 / Salford Student Direct www.salfordstudents.com

Breaktime Top 10 Things to do before the snow goes

FOUR Throw snowballs from a rooftop then hide! This works just as well with water balloons but might as well use what God gave us for this one! So much fun watching the bewildered faces of the naïve first years!

by Gemma Blackman

TEN

SEVEN

THREE

Don’t eat yellow snow. In fact, don’t eat any snow at all. Who knows where that stuff has been! And you’re not five any more, your body can’t handle it!

Go ice-skating in this magical winter setting. I would recommend going iceskating at Spinningfields anyway but with the snow around I am certain it will feel all the more magical!

Make a snow man. In fact, make a snow family! Mum, Dad, Son, Dog, Rabbit, the works! There is certainly enough snow!

NINE

SIX

TWO

Use snow as a reason for missing class…

We’re not condoning skipping class but a lot of people will not get into uni because of snow and it’s valid so you could always try your luck!

Catch a snowflake whole. A lot harder than it sounds because most snow is not an entire snowflake, it’s really magical when you do though (probably more so for the girly-girls than the macho-guys!)

Write a message in the snow. Make it really really big and then maybe they’ll see it on the aeroplanes jetting off to warmer climates!

EIGHT

FIVE

ONE

Take lots of photos. In all honesty Salford is never going to be voted prettiest place in England, but everywhere looks pretty when snow has fallen and the sun is shining.

Make a snow angel. Okay so I know I said you’re not five any more but there should be no age limit on snow angels. So go make as many as possible! GO!

Have a massive snowball fight. Easiest thing in the world to organise, you go onto a big field where lots of students walk by, near University House perhaps, and throw a snowball at a passer-by.

They can’t help but retaliate. Soon enough you’ll be running out of snow!

So there you are, lying on the bed as the object of your affection stands over you, looking down at you with pure unbridled lust in their eyes. They undress and get into bed beside you. You’ve been waiting for this moment for months and you can hardly contain your excitement, and neither can they. Then, before you know it, it’s all over and it was not the night of passion you had been so excited about.

Erasmus Times Liian kallista kaljaa Anne Salomaki

Having a friend from over for a few days can be both relaxing and stressful.

It can feel quite amazing to take him or her around a foreign city knowing where to go (and where not to go) without a map and a Lonely Planet guidebook in hand – it’s like I actually live here, and then I realise I really do.

When a friend visits me back home, there’s usually nothing special to do; they come to my city mostly to see me. But when I live in a place more interesting than myself, the people are obviously more into my new whereabouts than me. That brings a bit of a pressure for the host – they say they want to see “how you’re living nowadays”, when they really mean “we want to see Manchester”. Then you find yourself walking around the city pointing at statues and buildings and your favourite pubs, when in real life you ought to be sitting in front of your computer screen finishing your essays. If the friend fancies a few beers every now and then, after their visit, you realise you can do nothing but sleep the everlasting hangover away (which, at least in my case, can take days).

But I’m not complaining – as much as I love my new friends, I also love the old ones. One example of the benefits of going out with a friend from home is the language. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: my mother tongue is not the most popular language in the world. When I say “Let’s not stay here, this place is too expensive/posh/dirty” at the door of a pub or “A handsome man at 9 o’clock” while walking on the street to a fellow countryman in our mutual language, it’s highly unlikely that anyone else will understand what I just said. Frankly, it’s very unlikely that anyone even has a clue of which language they’ve just heard.

A friend’s visit is like a holiday; the city is not new to you, but it’s still holiday in the sense that you don’t have to count the calories of what you eat or feel bad for, ehh, slacking. After a few days of having fun we say “See you soon!”, and I feel I’ve been slacking enough and can keep going on with my essays: I’ll be back in my normal Erasmus business.

For our friends it’s harder to go back home. If they haven’t been understood in public for four days, they might fail to recognise the difference in the situation. Their swearwords, “look-a-good-lookingguy”s and price comparisons are suddenly familiar to everyone.

I’ve still got a couple of weeks to talk gibberish before visiting home – can’t wait for all the awkward situations during Christmas holidays!

A friend of mine, Chloe, had a massive crush on a guy from her course, truth be told, most people had a thing for him, even their lecturer who was sporting more than a few grey hairs had told him he was a very handsome young man. The guy was an Adonis. Well the other night, Chloe and a few of her coursemates went out to 5th Ave for a night of I-should-really-be-doingassignments-but-oh-well-drinks, and our Adonis was part of this merry band of revellers. So a few double vodka and red bulls later and Chloe and Adonis were getting closer than ever before, and as the music played on and people danced around them, their bodies moved closer and they kissed. It wasn’t long after that the two of them were getting hot and heavy in the back of a taxi and (after getting told off by the taxi-man) they were at her front door. Hardly believing her luck, Chloe unlocked the door and half dragged him up to her room. There was kissing and heavy petting on her bed and then the clothes were coming off.

So after they had made their bodies as one, Adonis popped off to the loo and left her in bed, naked and bewildered. By rights, Adonis should have been the best shag of her life, with a body and face like that it would be just

downright weird that he could have wandered through life without picking up a few sex tips, but alas that was not the case.

Fumbling and crashing through her lady garden was how she described it, he just didn’t really understand the female form, ‘It was like he’d never had sex before and had only learned what to do by watching really awful porn’. Not the night of excitement she was hoping for.

Soon after he got back from the loo he said how sorry he was but that he really had got to get going but that maybe they could do it again sometime.

A few days later and Chloe had to face the inevitable and see Adonis in class.

Throughout the lecture all she could think of was that awful night and was planning her escape so she could leave the hall without him catching her. Too busy concentrating was she that she missed the dismissal and was just a second too late getting up. Adonis swaggered over to her and whispered in her ear ‘Great night the other night baby, you were amazing. How about another go tonight?’

Alice Blue x

UNION :39

Salford Student Direct / December 6th 2010 www.salfordstudents.com

Students’ Union Students’ Union Elections – not just for politicians!

VP for Science and Technology Jim Dale looks back on his election experiences I thought that running in elections was something that only politicians did. Why would I want to do that? I got an E in my ALevel politics. Yet somehow, a year and a half ago this is exactly what I found myself doing for the first time in my life.

Running in the Students’ Union election was demanding, challenging and very tiring. It can take quite a bit of effort and time to go out and talk to as many people as you can and convince them that you are worth their time and effort to vote for you.

But it is a genuine adventure in that once it has all finished, win or lose, you will be able to look back on it with a fond recollection of all the fun that you had, all the people you met and all the skills you learnt and all that you learnt about yourself and other people.

And you know what? Elections are fun!

For some people running in elections has been long term plan with various preparations, for other people, like me, it is a spur of the moment thing with no thought of it whatsoever until the

last minute. Some students that run come from some of our student activity groups, some are student reps, many are neither.

Some are international students, some are mature students, some are post grads, many haven’t even thought about this.

There are lots of reasons why you may want to get involved.

Firstly you may be passionate about certain issues at University or with the Students Union and you may want to change and have an impact on. These could be anything such as academic issues, organisational issues, environmental issues, political issues, financial issues, the list is endless. I was initially interested by what was happening with activity groups, but by the time I got involved I found out that there were so many other things that I cared about. For me the best part of my role is meeting lots of interesting people every day and I trying to find ways to help them with their problems.

So, there is still a little bit of time until the election season is upon us and if you have never thought about running in the

Your current Sabbatical officers celebrating their victory at election night last year.

elections, I hope this article will at least make you think about it.

It is a lot of fun and a very rewarding experience, but also a great way to get involved. If there are things at University or with the Union that concern you or there is something you are passionate about, now is your

chance to get up and do something about it. Besides, what have you got to lose?

To find out more about the elections and the way your Union is run, come to the Students’ Union’s Annual General Meeting on Wednesday 2 February.

Contact Your Sabbs:

Don’t forget about the Salford Social – every Wednesday from 10pm.

The Salford Social night breaks with 42s indie tradition by playing a good mix of most musical styles from chart, 80’s, 90's, dubstep, disco, 60’s , with a bit of indie thrown in for good measure.

Ricky Chotai:

Maros Kravec:

President.

Vice President Business, Law and Languages.

president-ussu@salford.ac.uk

m.kravec@salford.ac.uk

One thing is for sure, it won’t be like any other night at the club!

Jim Dale:

Caroline Dangerfield:

Vice President Science and Technology.

Vice President Health and Social Care.

j.dale@salford.ac.uk.

c.dangerfield@salford.ac.uk

Tickets are just £2 in advance at www.42ndstreetnightclub.co.uk or from General Office and Bar Yours in University House, and the Students' Union shops in Horlock Court, the Allerton and Adelphi Buildings

Christabel Brown: Vice President Arts and Humanities.

c.brown1@salford.ac.uk

Most drinks only £1

40: SPORT

December 6th 2010 / Salford Student Direct www.salfordstudents.com

Rec Night is back Rec Night 2010 – Wednesday 8 December Every activity group is invited to come along to the Students’ Union Rec Night, which is back by popular demand.

The fancy dress theme this year is Toys!

There will be games and prizes, as well as the chairperson’s challenge, the newbie challenge and the team challenge.

Dress up, take part and show who’s got the best activity group at Salford!

Meet in Bar Yours at 7.30pm, then off to the Salford Social at 42nd Street.

SPORTS

Round Up Golf The 2010 European Tour season came to an end as over as Martin Kaymer became the youngest European number one for 21 years.

The 25-year-old German clinched the title as rival Graeme McDowell was unable to make a move after a making a poor start to the Dubai World Championship. Kaymer has had an amazing season, in which he was part of the winning European Ryder Cup team, won three successive tour events, and claimed his first major championship victory at the PGA Championship in August.

The Dubai World Championship was won by former European number one Robert Karlsonn, after beating Ian Poulter on the second extra play-off hole.

By Mark Cockroft

Cricket The first test of the Ashes ended in a draw as England produced a dramatic comeback to stun Australia. The hosts looked to be in a comfortable winning position, having built up a lead of 221 late on in the third day at the Gabba in Brisbane. A five-wicket haul by England for just 31 runs gave them hope, setting up an incredible batting performance on day four. Openers Andrew Strauss and Alastair Cook both hit centuries, and England went into the final day leading by 88 runs with a draw the likely and unexpected result. Cook, along with Jonathan Trott, set a series of records as England hit an extraordinary 517-1 on the final day before declaring. Cook's 235 not out was the sixth best Ashes score by an Englishman and he also surpassed Sir Don Bradman for the highest Test score at the Gabba.

Boxing After his embarrassing performance again David Haye in Manchester, Audley Harrison has vowed to continue his “journey in boxing.” Harrison believes the referee ended the fight against Haye

prematurely, with the 2000 Olympic gold medalist stating: "I was denied the opportunity to show my grit, determination and desire to be in there and compete and try to get back on level terms."