ISSUE #1 / FALL 2014
For Parents Who Keep it Real
Get A Sitter
(Un) Common Core
Sanity Corner
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Parent to Parent A Reminder from the Editor of True Parent We’re all in agreement: Your kids are the best—and there are plenty of magazines and websites out there making sure you’re armed with ideas and products to help them thrive. But while you’re taking care of the kids, who’s taking care of you? Where’s the magazine that recognizes that being a parent and an interesting person with real needs aren’t mutually exclusive? That’s where True Parent magazine comes in. You were an interesting, thriving person before you became a parent, and you still are. True Parent magazine focuses on smart parents, just like you, who are more than just soccer game chauffeurs, laundry washer/dryer/folders, or fairy-house construction workers. True Parent is a magazine built for adults—specifically designed to help you become a better parent by becoming a more wellrounded person. Here are just a few things you’ll regularly find in True Parent: •True stories from real parents—married, single, LGBTQ, mixed race, various abilities, and everyone in between—whose lives and kids are just as imperfect as yours. These stories are just like life itself: funny, heartbreaking, poignant, and true. •Advice and tips from the professionals on mon-
ey management, fitness, and staying sane (while remaining sexually active). •National writers saying smart things about politics, education, and health issues. •Up to the minute music and restaurant reviews to make sure you leave the house—and have a great time doing it. •Ideas for trips and vacations you can take with your family that you’ll enjoy just as much as the kids. •Sharp edged comedy that’s based in the reality of parenting. Because, unlike those other guys, we get your humor. You’re not one of those perfect parents—you’re a real one. And True Parent magazine is going to be your quarterly reminder.
—Wm. Steven Humphrey, actual parent of two. steve@trueparent.com
SANITY CORNER
TRUE PARENT BIO
(personal advice on sex, relationships, and life to make a better you)
TRUE NEWS
(true stories from real parents)
ISSU E #1 / SU MMER 2014
(the latest in news that affects you as a parent)
GET A SITTER
What you’ll find inside True Parent Magazine
SANITY CORNER
THE TRUE STORY
BUILD A BETTER KID (tips from the kid experts)
DANGEROUS PARENTING
(comedy from funny parents)
GET A SITTER
( fun things to do on your night out!)
TRUE NEWS
Failing the Test Common Core Testing: Prelude to a Train Wreck? BY REBECCA BARR-DAVIS
ILLUSTRATION BY JEN WICK STUDIO
NC COMMO
ORE
K NEEDS WOR GREAT AS/IS TOO HARD NECESSARY CLASSIST TIC B U R E AU C R A MB KIDS ARE DU YOU KNOW YOUR national educational testing model is in trouble when Louis C.K. rips it a new one. The internet pricked up their ears this past April when comedian Louis C.K. fired off a series of devastating tweets regarding his experience with the standardized testing of Common Core—the initiative designed to figure out what kids K-12 should know at the end of each
grade, and set to be implemented into all Oregon schools next year. The comedian’s takedown was blunt, and many think not unfair: “My kids used to love math,” Louis tweeted. “Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core.” And the story problem he offered as an example is understandably baffling, not only to the third graders in question, but most reasonably intelligent adults as well. The rollout has been met with similar scorn across the nation, and according to education historian and activist Diane Ravitch (writing in the Washington Post), the reason for the assessment’s failure comes from a lack of initial field-testing. Ravitch claims to have met with the authors of Common Core in 2009, as well as key members of the White House in 2010, asking all to “invite 3-5 states to give it a trial of three to five years.” However, according to Ravitch, her pleas were quickly dismissed. “They wanted Common Core to be rolled out as quickly as possible,” Ravitch wrote, “without checking out how it works in real classrooms with real teachers and real children.” There have also been charges of classism leveled at Common Core assessments, noting that in New York, the first round of testing resulted in 97 percent of failing grades among English-learning students, 95 percent failure from children with disabilities, more than 80 percent failure from black and Latino students, and an overall statewide failure of 69 percent. Besides the bar being set nearly impossibly high for some, there’s the charge that Common Core testing can only be taken on computers—which would cause an intense financial drain on most public schools who already depend on parents to supply basics such as pencils and notebooks. As Oregon struggles with the 2015 implementation of Common Core, many educators and parents are asking the state to hit the brakes to see if this system can pass its own tests before being unleashed on already overburdened faculty and students. At least one comedian on Twitter seems to agree.
TRUE TIPS
I need a babysitter, STAT! BUILD A ROSTER Having one babysitter on call is just too risky for emergency situations. Build a roster of at least three qualified sitters— and last minute panic and disappointments are far less likely.
ASK AROUND Ask fellow parents, friends, and workmates for suggestions. Part-time nannies (and sometimes fellow office employees) are often looking for extra work to fill out their schedules.
BROKE STUDENTS Check out your local college early childhood development department. These students need the experience and the money.
THE INTERNETS There are also childcare services on the web worth looking in to: care.com, seekingsitters.com, and greataupair.com (some even provide free background checks— use ‘em!).
SANITY CORNER
Ask the Parent! Even though I have kids, I still want lots of travel, adventure, and hot sex. My husband likes the last part, but thinks worldwide travel with children is impossible. What to do? —Chrissie M., PORTLAND TRAVEL AND ADVENTURE —sexual and otherwise—don’t have to stop after you become parents. They do become more difficult, logistically speaking, and you won’t be able to go adventuring on impulse anymore. But you can have adventures, as a couple and as individuals. (It’s good for married people, including parents, to spend time apart.) It’s true, however, that most parents do stop adventuring—but that’s usually because they were ready to stop adventuring or they weren’t that adventurous in the first place. You can do it differently. Pro tip: It’s easier to make time for adventuring if you have one kid. And traveling with a small child—even taking off to live in a foreign country for a year or two—is a lot easier than Parent-
landia propaganda would have you believe. You’re an adventurous person—you and your wife are adventurous people—and adventurous people can choose to be adventurous parents.
DAN SAVAGE is the nationally syndicated author of Savage Love, and along with husband Terry, the father of their teenage son, DJ.
BUILD A BETTER KID “The Overprotective Parent” OBVIOUSLY THE BEST way to build a bet-
ter kid is to build a better you. And while being overprotective can be a detriment to a child’s development, it’s not exactly doing wonders for your mental health either, is it? But how protective is too protective? A great place to start is to observe at what point you step in to relieve your child’s stressful situation—and what you do when get there. Is it really necessary to rush immediately to their rescue?
Or is it better to let the situation play out, and see if she can solve the problem on her own? Even if she chooses what you consider to be the “wrong” solution, it may be something that can be discussed and resolved later. Wanting to keep your child out of harm’s way is a great instinct—but helping your kid develop healthy coping mechanisms should also be a priority… and that will be better for both of you in the long run.—MEGAN MCLARSON
Sept 1 THROUGH
Nov 30
Get A Sitter! Things to Eat, Watch, and Hear on Your Night Out
CODY CHESTNUTT
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19 SHARON JONES AND THE DAP KINGS Any new material from the spectacular Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings is cause for excitement, but you should be especially ecstatic about their newest effort, Give the People What They Want. Jones, suffered a cancer scare that delayed the release, but she’s back, with the Dap-Kings’ jubilant horns heralding a battle fought and (we hope) won. DIRK VANDERHART Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, $25-30, all ages
COMEDY MUSIC FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 26 CODY CHESNUTT, LIZ VICE Atlanta-born Cody Chesnutt fits in perfectly with the recent music trend of neo-soul funk/ rock. His classic soul voice rivals Aloe Blacc and while he might go a little heavy on the major chords, the richness of his voice, his socially conscious lyrics, and the funky guitar riffs create an uplifting sound that connects you to a bygone soul era. ROSE FINN Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $10
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5 KINGS OF LEON, LOCAL NATIVES Kings of Leon’s discography aren’t overflowing with classic albums, but the inevitable Great-
est Hits is going to be badass. Yes, they’ll put “Sex on Fire” on there, as well as the jangly, breakneck “Happy Alone”—not to mention the pretty-okay “Supersoaker” from their latest, Mechanical Bull. Put them all together, and that’s a collection no one would toss off the jukebox. NED LANNAMANN Moda Center, 1 Center Ct, 7:30 pm, $25-$52
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 17 UME, LKN, HURRY UP In a just world, Ume’s excellent new album, Monuments, would push it over the top. It’s a tightly packaged, 12-track collision of frontwoman Lauren Larson’s skyscraping guitar heroics and her sweet-and-sour pop-rock vocals. The result is a hybrid of silvery shoegaze and gritty alt-rock—efficient, melodic and muscular. BEN SALMON Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $13
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 7 AZIZ ANSARI In between Hollywood gigs, Aziz Ansari keeps his stand-up muscles from atrophying with tours like the new Modern Romance, in which he dissects love and friendship in the era of “friend” hiding and text breakups. Also among his many charms: Dude almost always comes onstage correct, in a suit. MARJORIE SKINNER Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay, Wed & Fri 7 pm, $46.50, all ages
dream-team includes musician Laura Gibson, filmmaker/writer Arthur Bradford, former eBay power-seller Andrew Dickson, actor Vin Shambry, and B. Frayn Masters, writer/producer extraordinaire. ALISON HALLETT Disjecta, 8371, N Interstate, 8 pm, $8
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24 THE BIG COMBO There are a lot of good things happening in Portland’s comedy scene right now. Case in point: The Big Combo. As with most sketch revues, some of the sketches are pretty funny, a few are duds, and one or two are absolutely perfect. There’s an excellent cast, with strong performers from comedy stages all over town, and they’re having a great time on stage. TEMPLE LENTZ Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton, Fri-Sat 10:15 pm, $15-20
FILM
MONDAY, OCTOBER 6
WE ARE THE BEST Set in Sweden in the 1980s, We Are the Best! is the rare coming-of-age film that makes room for that adult perspective while remaining faithful to the intense, all-consuming passions of adolescence. It never condescends, instead offering a realistic look at the things that matter to these passionate, silly, angry young women. ALISON HALLETT Opens Fri Oct 10, Various Theaters
ENTERTAINMENT FOR PEOPLE A monthly indie variety show featuring music, comedy, video, readings, and anything else that might fall into the category of entertainment. The Portland
THE LUNCHBOX A young woman carefully packs lunch every day for her unappreciative husband; when the lunch is mistakenly delivered
THEATER
Drag Your Kid to This! to a sour, lonely accountant, a friendship blossoms via notes passed through the daily lunchbox. Despite the premise, this isn’t a meet-cute, but rather a thoughtful look at how relationships affect the texture of our lives. Plus, all of the food looks amazing. ALISON HALLETT Opens Fri Nov 21, Fox Tower 10
FOOD BIWA Biwa is all about the experience. And the experience doesn’t get much more comforting than ramen—a steaming, greasy bowl of noodles and pork simmered in an onion-heavy broth. Let your server recommend a sake from the short but well-informed sake list, get an order of gyoza (pork dumplings, hand-made of course), some yakitori, and a side of spicy kimchi, and prepare to have yourself a cultural experience. ALISON HALLETT Biwa, 215 SE 9th, 239-8830
TRIFECTA TAVERN + BAKERY Trifecta is the third in a line of winning ventures from Ken Forkish, which has more cult fans than the Log Lady from Twin Peaks. When you lay your hard-earned money down on the right dishes, you’re set for a meal that easily ranks as one of the most satisfying in the city. Go forth to Trifecta, wait with the hordes, choose your dining bets wisely, and may the odds be ever in your favor. ANDREA DAMEWOOD Trifecta, 726 SE 6th BOXER RAMEN Order their tonkotsu-shio ramen. It tastes deeply of bacon and onions and pork and garlic that’s been roasted so long it’s black. If there are two of you, you should also get the big plate of okonomiyaki tots, which are hot tater tots drizzled with spicy BBQ sauce, a pink chili-mayonnaise, chives, and smoky bonito flakes that flap in the withering heat like a mountainside covered in birds. CHRIS ONSTAD Boxer Ramen, 1025 SW Stark
BOXER RAMEN
LUNAR ECLIPSE
CONCERT IN THE PARK: SALLIE FORD Sallie Ford and the Sound Outside are a blast. The Portland band puts on a sexy hootin’ and hollerin’ good time, filled with rambunctious rock ‘n’ roll and Sallie’s trademark hiccupy vocals. This reunion performance will take place in Sellwood Park, so pack a blanket, bring the kids, and get ready to dance your fool faces off! CF Sellwood Park, 7028 SE 7th, Sat Sept 20, 7 pm, free TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE VIEWING On the morning of Wednesday, October 8, the Full Moon will slide through the dark shadow of the Earth and for 58 minutes the only light hitting the Moon will be the reddish glow from Earth’s sunrises and sunsets resulting in a total lunar eclipse. Weather permitting, a free viewing of the eclipse will begin at 8 pm and Rose City Astronomers as well as Oregon Parks and Recreations will have telescopes set up for attendees to use. DON WELLS OMSI, 1945 SE Water, Oct 8, 8 pm, free
CLASSICS FROM STUDIO GHIBLI The word “genius” gets batted around with regard to filmmakers with a numbing, reductive frequency. But if Hayao Miyazaki doesn’t qualify for that title, who does? As a NW Film Center retrospective (featuring new, subtitled, 35mm prints) demonstrates, nobody else can balance exhilarating weightlessness with moral gravity in quite the same proportions. Finally, kids’ films that won’t make you go insane. ANDREW WRIGHT Opens Fri Oct 17, Whitsell Auditorium YOU WHO: URAL THOMAS & THE PAIN A true godsend in recent years for those who happen to be both parents of young children and fans of live music, the selfdescribed children’s variety rock show You Who! returns with a formula that includes arts and crafts, animation, skits, giant barn owls, and most notably, music. This go-around features Ural Thomas and the Pain, the newly-minted act fronted by 73-year-old soul singer (and Portland native) Ural Thomas. JEREMY PETERSEN Kennedy School, 5736 NE 33rd, Sun, Nov 30, 12 pm, $4.99-9.99
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