July 2009
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Surviving Deployment Deployment definitely takes its toll on families. Fortunately for the Martinez trio, family support, faith and love kept their family intact.
Child Care for Dummies Do your research and take the trauma out of leaving your children with strangers.
Rules of the Road Family Exercise Options Santa Rita Softball League Cool Picnic Ideas and MORE!
Features Surviving Deployment 10
Deployment takes its toll on families. Fortunately for the Martinez trio, family support, faith and love kept their family intact.
Child Care for Dummies 16
Do your research and take the trauma out of leaving your children with strangers.
Departments Familia: Guam Family Message Board 8 Got birthday greetings or special events to announce? Highlight special events in the Familia photo pages.
Health Spot: Teaming Up to Get Fit 20 It’s important to get up for some physical activity.
Parenting: Rules of the Road 24 With a few pointers, learning to drive shouldn’t be that bad for student or parent.
Parenting: 7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child 27 Writer Dad provides advice on keeping children optimistic.
Teen Scene: Open the Lines of Communication 30 Establishing a relationship early with your child encourages respectful dialogue between teen and parent.
Family Table: Cool Picnic Ideas 32 Take advantage of the beauty that is Guam and enjoy the outdoors!
Calendar: July Events 38 See the schedule of events to check out this month.
Center Stage: Kimberly May Borja 40 Songbird excells in school and on stage.
Kidsville 42 Turn to these pages for fun and games for the kids and young at heart.
Kusina: Mudd Pie and 3x Kiwi Lime Pie 45 Denise Santos dishes out some homemade pies, both tangy and sweet.
On the Cover: The Martinez family takes a weekend break at the Sheraton Laguna Guam Resort. Photo by David Castro.
Meskla: Play Ball! 46 The Santa Rita Summer Softball Tournament closes the season with fun and family. July 2009
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What are people saying about Guam Family?
“I really like Guam Family. I felt like it reached me as a resident of Guam.”
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-Marissa Borja, Agana Heights
“I’ve been waiting for a family magazine like this to come out. I can’t wait for the next issue.” –Lilet Hagen, “I think this Barrigada
magazine is a great idea.”
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I have been hoping for this kind of an opportunity for a long time. I am probably the biggest consumer of parenting magazines in the Pacific region (I’m not kidding)!
“Guam Family should be every local mother’s resource for families living in Guam. Its localized features, content and parenting tips are so relatable and close to home. You can’t find that in a national parenting magazine.”
-Kristine Perez, Yona
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“This sounds exciting!” -Elizabeth Cruz, Barrigada
“I like that it’s family-oriented and gives working families advice on various topics.” –Rayla Ferrara, Agat
What do YOU think of Guam Family? Write to us at editor@guamfamily.net. 4
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Publisher Stephani Ferrara Editor Faye Varias Assistant Editor Bryan Sualog Contributors Sean Platt Faith V. Realica Christine Restuvog Janiece A. Sablan Denise Santos Art Direction Taliea Designworks Production David Castro Advertising Sales Stephani Ferrara Darrell Pereda Administration Tia Camacho Blesilda Durousseau Printing Winguide, Saipan ADVERTISING INFORMATION sferrara@guamfamily.net dpereda@guamfamily.net Opinions expressed in Guam Family are not necessarily those of the publisher or our advertisers. SEND COMMENTS TO Editor GUAM FAMILY P.O. Box 27290 Barrigada, GU 96921 E-mail: editor@guamfamily.net Tel: 671.635.7501 Fax: 671.635.7520 Web site: guamfamily.net ©2009 GUAM FAMILY All rights reserved. Owned by Promo Infomedia, Inc. Jerry Roberts, President
FP
Editor’s Note editor’s note "NPOH $BUT BOE %PHT When not associated with my job, most people know me as an animal lover and active member of Guam Animals In Need. Originally, I had my editor’s note completely planned, writing about two kittens I fostered from the shelter at two weeks old, which Tilly, my golden retriever, amazingly cared for as if they were her own. Unfortunately, the little ones couldn’t overcome the odds against them and they went to heaven two weeks later. But they had what many homeless animals lack — a chance. Every day, hundreds of thousands of animals are subject to being abandoned and abused because not enough people take the time to make educated decisions about owning a pet. After some searches online, I found that when Babe the pig wanted to be a border collie, the popularity of border collies soared. When the evil Cruella deVille kidnapped bright-eyed Dalmatians, they made it into the top 10 breeds registered by the American Kennel Club. Lady and the Tramp made cocker spaniels more sought after than ever. And locally, when the greyhound track closed down, everyone wanted a free greyhound. One couple who took their children to see Disney’s 101 Dalmatians bought the kids their very own Pongo puppy a couple weeks later. The family was completely unprepared for the high-pressure personality of their puppy. Pongo ruined the carpet, chewed the cabinets, nibbled human body parts, urinated on the bed, chased the cat and ran out the door whenever it opened a crack. The family couldn’t deal with Pongo, who was getting bigger and more unruly by the day. Six months later, Pongo went to the animal shelter, competing with hundreds of others for a new home. On our small island, more than 5,000 dogs and cats are brought to the shelter every year. That’s an average of more than a dozen additional animals each day for which the employees and volunteers at GAIN struggle to find homes. ·
Another day of having to put down healthy, adoptable animals to make room for new ones.
·
Another day of facing criticism in the media for the alarming euthanasia rates.
·
Another day of facing people who repeatedly bring litters to the shelter instead of taking advantage of a free sterilization program.
·
Another day of trying to save abused animals.
While the popular mindset in Guam is to get a dog to “guard the house,” how much “guarding” can they really do if they’re tied to a chain 24 hours a day, rain or shine, with little or no food and water? Don’t get me wrong. There are many loving, caring families to whom lucky animals belong. But there aren’t enough. Animals are not a fad. They are not Christmas or birthday presents that can teach a child responsibility nor can they be put on a shelf once the excitement is gone. They live for years and need care just like you and me. They are part of the family.
To learn more about Guam Animals In Need, visit the Yigo Animal Shelter or look up www.myspace.com/guamanimalsinneed. F a y e Va r i a s Editor 6
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Congratulations to Dave Davis, Noni Davis, Teresa Taitan Melissa Mussyal and all the tireless GAIN employees,
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“I miss my dad. I miss playing baseball with him. My dad is [in] Afghanistan. I will always love my
SURVIVING Military deployment takes its toll on families. Fortunately for the Martinez trio, family support, faith and love kept their family intact.
By Christine Restuvog
The Martinez family (clockwise from top left): Madeline, Shaun and Shaun-Paul
By Christine Restuvog
“I miss my dad. I miss playing baseball with him. My dad is [in] Afghanistan. I will always love my dad” hese words written by 7-year-old Shaun-Paul Martinez T won him first place at St. Francis School’s Young Authors and Illustrators Contest in 2008. His father, Shaun Martinez, is one of the many men and women serving in the Guam Army National Guard. Since January 2007, Shaun held a rigorous schedule of training and deployment — nearly five months in Georgia, three weeks in New Mexico, an exercise operation in Saipan, nine months in Afghanistan, three weeks in the Philippines and, this month, three weeks in South Dakota. With that, he missed a host of important events, including moving into their new home and many of Shaun-Paul’s soccer games, his 6th birthday and his first day of school. On his birthday, Shaun-Paul wished for his daddy to come home. Shaun said,“It was difficult for me to miss his first day of school. I wasn’t there to walk him to his class.” Shaun isn’t alone. Thousands of men and women in the U.S. Armed Forces are sent on deployments to different places around the world — many of whom go to the Horn of Africa, Afghanistan and Iraq. Frequent and extended troop deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan are stressful not only for those on the battlefield, but also for their families at home.
“I miss my dad. I miss playing baseball with him. My dad is [in] Afghanistan. I will always love my
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y dad” “I miss my dad. I miss playing baseball with him. My dad is [in] Afghanistan. I will always love my
dad” “I miss my dad. I miss playing baseball with him. My dad is [in] Afghanistan. I will always love my
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I miss my dad. I miss playig baseball with him, my dad is (in) afghanistan. I will always love my dad
SIGNING UP
Shaun Martinez joined the Guam Army National Guard as a reserve private in August 2006 — not out of necessity or benefits, but because he felt compelled to play a part in defending our country’s freedom. While at home, he works as a screener for the Transportation Security Administration. “I like to think that I am fighting terrorism in the front lines when I am deployed and in the home front when I am working for TSA,” he said. “I joined the Guard for the experience, change of pace and having the ability to help other people who are less knowledgeable in my field.” Like most family members, his wife, Madeline (Maddie) was apprehensive about this decision. “At first I wasn’t very supportive of Shaun joining the Guard,” she said. “But after talking it through with him, he made me understand why he wanted to join and I felt that I should be supportive of him.” One of Shaun’s job duties is training the Afghanistan National Police. “It is probably one of the most dangerous jobs in the Guard,” he said. “We are out there in the front lines.” He left for Afghanistan on Jan. 3, 2008 — two days after his and Maddie’s first wedding anniversary.
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Shaun-Paul Martinez drew photos and wrote a book for his dad who was deployed to Afghanistan.
STAYING INTACT
Fortunately for Maddie, her mom, dad, brothers and sisters are her and Shaun-Paul’s support system when Shaun is away. “My parents and siblings helped us move into our new house, cooked and cleaned,” she said.“My family tends to throw large family celebrations, especially at the beach — Shaun-Paul’s favorite place — during Father’s Day or other special occasions because they want Shaun-Paul to know that he always has
his extended family around when his dad is on deployment.” The important thing for Maddie was to keep busy. Maddie, a teacher at St. Francis School, said prior to her teaching position, she was a stay-at-home mom and housewife. “I decided to get back into the workforce to keep myself busy, which helped me cope with Shaun being away on deployment,” she said. Maddie was a very active parent
d I miss my dad. I miss playig baseball with him, my dad is (in) afghanistan. I will always love my dad and was offered a teaching position at the school.“It was definitely a blessing to be offered the job,” she said. “When I am busy, I am not fixated on the fact that my husband is away on deployment.” Shaun shares the same strategy. “You just have to keep yourself busy and keep in contact with your loved ones as much as possible,” he said. The most challenging times are when he is on a mission and isn’t allowed to contact anyone. “The length of our missions could be anywhere from three days to one week. That’s a long time not to talk to your family,” Shaun said. During these times, he turns to his fellow soldiers, whom he considers “brothers,” for advice and support.“These guys are experiencing the same thing I am — being away from home, missing family members and worrying about safety,” he said. “We are each other’s support system and we try to ease the minds of one another while we are so far away from our families.” For some families, this type of challenge takes its toll. Studies show the divorce rate among soldiers for the Guam National Guard increased. For every 1,000 soldiers in the Guam Army National Guard, 33 get divorced during or after deployment.
Shaun Martinez put together a puzzle package he received from his son on Father’s Day.
Fortunately, the Martinez family falls in the majority of this statistic. Shaun and Maddie feel his deployment made their relationship mature and stronger. “Being away has definitely built our relationship,” Shaun said.
Maddie said, “We realized that our relationship can sustain being apart and still have a strong bond. We appreciate each other more. I appreciate everything he does for us and our family.”
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HOMECOMING
Maddie shows her support and love for Shaun through different acts, which she and their son enjoy planning together. Shaun said, “Maddie sends me a lot of care packages because she wants me to have a little part of home with me.” The couple laughs as they describe how Shaun’s fellow soldiers joked about how Maddie should send them packages as well, because he receives more than many of the others. Shaun-Paul’s book, I Miss My Daddy, is his way of reaching out to his dad on deployment. “I wrote about my Dad in Afghanistan talking to me on the phone,” he said.“I also drew us playing baseball together because I missed doing that with him,” he said. When Shaun comes home, Maddie said, “We make huge, elaborately designed banners welcoming Shaun home at every entrance of the village. Sometimes Shaun thinks I go overboard for his homecomings, but we want to show how much we appreciate him and what he is doing.We want him to feel that being deployed was worth it and that his homecoming is what we always look forward to.” Homecoming for Shaun can be best described as “bittersweet.” He said,“I am always glad to be home, but in the back of my mind, I am worried about my fellow soldiers who are still deployed,” he said.
SUPPORT GROUPS
In 2000, the Department of Defense and the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Personal Support formed a strategic partnership to develop a National Guard & Reserve Family Readiness Strategic Plan. This plan aimed to ensure reservists and their families were prepared to cope with the strains associated
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”I am always glad to be home, but in the back of my mind, I am worried about my fellow soldiers who are still deployed.” -Shaun Martinez with long or repeated deployments and are adequately served by military family care systems, networks and organizations. In Guam, families can turn to the Family Readiness Group (FRG), an organization that offers newsletters on communication and coordinates family events and workshops on homecoming, reintegrations and coping with a loved one who is on deployment. There are also programs that offer marriage counseling and workshops to support families of deployed soldiers. Maddie is a volunteer “phone tree” caller for the group. She said, “I inform my fellow wives and families of deployed soldiers about events and workshops that the FRG is conducting. I often communicate and keep in touch with the wives of soldiers who are in the same situation as I am.” Shaun said this program has been beneficial for him personally. “We just finished a marriage builder course and, as a reward, the Guard gave us a complimentary three-night stay at one of the hotel resorts to enjoy as a couple,” he said. He added, “Being deployed does take a toll on the home front — mentally, emotionally and physically. Have faith and everything will turn out well.”
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By Janiece A. Sablan
Do your research and take the trauma out of leaving your children with strangers.
am the kind of person who almost literally “lives by the book.” I seek written reference for anything and everything going on in my life, but I was stunned to find there’s actually a book called Choosing Childcare for Dummies. While I didn’t need that kind of a book, I suppose we all ask ourselves many questions before leaving our children with strangers. When my first daughter was nearly 2 years old, I thought it would be wonderful for her to have some outside stimulation. I was looking for a part-time preschool that would allow her to play with children her age while I was at home caring for my newborn. The prospect of watching my daughter participate in school was very exciting. I proceeded to do the research that most parents on Guam do: I asked around. After taking those first few tentative steps into this preschool, holding my child’s hand, I realized that I needed some kind of help because I was a nervous wreck and maybe a book for dummies was actually a smart idea.
I
First Impressions
The process of finding a suitable place to care for our children is likely one of the toughest — emotionally and financially — tasks we will tackle as parents. In a very unscientific, but locally relevant, poll of parents with toddlers and preschoolage children, I learned parents have some typical concerns. They include: • Location: Is the school on the way to work or near home? Is it in a safe neighborhood? • Price: Despite the fact that local child care rates are way below the national average, parents on Guam often feel the cost of child care is too high. According to the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies, or NACCRRA, the average child care costs for infants and toddlers in the United States for 2008 was $679 per month and $535 for preschool-age children. The average on Guam is around $425 for infants and toddlers and $350 for preschool-age children.
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• Cleanliness: The overall appearance and even the smell can make a huge first impression on parents. According to Rayla Ferrara, director of Tender Shepherd Preschool and Child Care Center in Anigua, “First impressions are most important when selecting a preschool and child care center. The first thing you look at would be cleanliness. The rating on the door should be posted at all times. Lighting [is also important]. The certification of staff should be posted in the administrative office.” Ferrara added, “Parents are usually very keen once they come through the door and their instincts about a center are usually right.” Whether choosing a day care, preschool, family day care or at-home care, you still want to do your homework.
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Starting Point
Ferrara recommends looking into the following: • Find out if the center has an open-door policy. Can a parent stop by at anytime to visit the child? • Does the center have a parent handbook about the center’s policies and discipline practices? • Ask about child-teacher ratio. Acceptable ratios vary depending on total group size and age of children. Refer to the National Association for the Education of Young Children’s Web site for more information. • Are the staff certified in basic CPR and first aid? • What are the daily routines in the classroom, such as hands-on activities, center time activities, playground and instructional time? Is there something on paper that explains all of this?
No More Nightmares
• Look at the staff to see if they look stressed or over-worked. • Is the staff pleasant and knowledgeable of the information they are providing? • Look at restrooms for sufficient soap and paper towels. • See if there are fire extinguishers or fire/earthquake escape plans. • Ask where children lay during nap time. If you are hiring a nanny, familiarize yourself with employment and tax laws and consider doing a thorough background check on potential candidates. Also, keep lines of communication open so that you are comfortable with the kinds of activities, discipline strategies, and even meals and snacks that are offered. This holds true if your caregiver is a relative. Grandma, Grandpa or Aunty Lola should be on the same page you are in all of these areas.
The story of my first experience with day care did not have a happy ending as my first impressions were far from good. Every day for two weeks, I dropped my crying child off to the lap of another woman, turned around quickly as tears welled up in my own eyes and closed the door behind me. Then for the next 10 minutes, I’d peek into a little window at the door as my heart seemed to be stuck in my throat. Dramatic, I know, but I think most other first-time moms and dads can sympathize with this experience. It is tough! She became a preschool drop-out. Fortunately, with a little more research and tips, such as those listed in this article, I was soon able to find a great preschool for my daughter where she thrived. It taught me that what works for some families doesn’t work for all. Word of mouth is great, but your individual needs and comfort level are just as important. I became so well-versed at the drill that I was able to walk four more children through the doors of their first preschools without shedding another tear — well, maybe with tears welled up in my eyes, but no more cheek-staining drama. Before the 2009-2010 school year is upon us, take some time to find out what is available and what criteria is important for you and your family. Armed with the right questions, knowing what to look for and following your instincts can take the trauma out of choosing child care and make this important step in your child’s life a happy one. Janiece resides in Agana Heights with her husband, Greg, and five children ages 10, 8, 6, 4, and 2. She is also the president of a non-profit organization working to open U’zeum Children’s Discovery Museum of Guam.
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Health Spot health spot
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Bryan Sualog
at a swim m eet when he was 9 ye ars old.
Even with hectic work schedules and differing interests, some parents find ways to boost activity and make time to spend outdoors. By Bryan C. Sualog
T
ime is a precious commodity these days. Parents are busy with work and children are spending countless hours on the Internet, watching television or playing video games. Although it may seem difficult, it’s important to take a break and put down the Blackberry and Xbox control and do some physical activity, whether it’s through organized sports or something simple, such as tossing a football or swimming at the beach.
Dealing With a Disability
For me, becoming active was a necessity. I contracted a neurological disorder as a child, so I use crutches to walk around. Growing up with a physical disability, I couldn’t do many of the activities most children my age were doing. I was spending too much time watching television and not getting enough exercise. After consulting with my physical therapist, my mom signed me up for swimming lessons. I could say that I took to the water like fish, but that would be lying. I was nervous at first, but I soon realized the water allowed me to move around just like everyone else.
Preventing Diseases
According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s Web site, the benefits of physical activity include controlling weight; reducing the risk of cardiovascular disease; reducing the risk of some cancers, such as colon and breast cancer; strengthening your bones and muscles; improving your mental health and mood; improving your ability to do daily activities and prevent falls; and increasing your chances of living longer. Children and adolescents should do 60 minutes or more of physical activity each day, the site states. The activity should include aerobic activity, muscle strengthening and bone strengthening activities. July 2009
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Health Spot health spot Team Sports
Sandra Castro, a mother of four, said sports are a good way to keep children active and healthy. “It also keeps them away from bad influences,” she said. “If I keep them busy, they won’t follow the wrong crowd.” Castro said she encourages all her children to be active. Although her oldest daughter, Mayleen, 20, is already an adult, she was involved in organized sports when she was younger. Her oldest son, Tevin, 17, plays sports for recreation. Destiny, 11, plays softball and Keave, 7, takes tae kwon do lessons. Destiny participated in a little league softball tournament as a member of Guam’s all-star team. After defeating the team from the Philippines, her team qualified for the Little League World Series, which will be held later this year in Portland, Ore.
Getting Some Air
Jean and Joe Cepeda encouraged their 12-year-old son, Joshua, to join sports primarily to keep him from being cooped up at home. “I just wanted him to be doing something,” Jean said. “If you talk to a lot of young parents or any parent, they’ll tell you they want their son or daughter to just do something instead of hanging out in front of the TV. The health part comes later.” Joshua first joined sports when he was 4 years old playing soccer. He has since picked up basketball and tennis.
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Jean and Joe have also gotten involved as coaches. The couple coaches soccer and Joe runs the Tennis Academy of Guam at the Sheraton Laguna Guam Resort. “The type of personalities that my husband and I have, if we see something that needs to be fixed — organization wise, efficiency wise — we kind of stick our foot in there,” Jean said.
A Family Affair
There are tons of options when choosing to get active. Consult a physician for appropriate activities your child may be able to do. For myself, the disability was just a minor hurdle. I grew to love swimming and it soon became a family affair that involved my parents as volunteers for swim meets and other functions, as well as my two younger brothers, who also started competing. Some of my cousins also joined. Through swimming, I was able to travel to Japan and Australia to compete in swim meets, occasionally bringing home the gold. I also competed in Guam and took part in the annual Cocos Crossing. But the most memorable part was the time I spent with my family.
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parenting parenting
f o s e l u R Road the
Better Drivers Driving School in Yigo is an option where student drivers can enroll.
As one of life’s initiating moments, learning to drive can be both nervewracking and stressful. But with a few pointers, it shouldn’t be that bad for student or parent.
By Faith V. Realica
T
here I was — sitting in the driver’s seat on Marine Corps Drive with my driving instructor by my side waiting for the red light to turn green. The beginner-driver jitters were setting in, so when the time came to execute my turn, I froze. The intersection did not have heavy traffic, but the two cars behind mine made it a point to inform me with their blaring horns that I should move. Almost losing my sense of place, my instructor firmly urged me to press on the gas and turn the wheel — and that’s exactly what I did. In an attempt to imitate what I had seen drivers do all the time, I smacked the gas pedal until it hit the floor and sharply turned the wheel. The two of us suddenly jerked and I banged my shoulder on the door handle. My instructor pressed on his side of the brakes so we wouldn’t hit the concrete island. Luckily, we both made it to the other side safely.
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Vehicles drive down Marine Corps Drive during a busy time.
The First Time
Being behind the wheel for the first time is an overwhelming experience — and parents get in on the feeling too. When I started driving, my mother would wake me up at the crack of dawn because she thought it would be safer to avoid the traffic on the road. The streets would be clear and it would be less risky for me in case I made a mistake. Like many parents, her biggest worry was I would make a sudden, unexpected move and hit a vehicle, or two, and end up getting hurt.
parenting parenting She also feared I would do something drastic and impulsive. But it seemed that after some practice, a little yelling and a few close calls, she began to feel more comfortable with me taking on the wheel.
Driving School
The first step to obtaining a license is to enroll into a certified driving school. There are a lot of options from which to choose on island. Most institutions consist of two parts: classroom instruction time and road hours. In the classroom students are given lectures that focus on the general rules of the road, such as what the street signs mean, what areas on the street drivers should be cautious about and what to do if you come across an emergency on the road. This component is good for helping beginner drivers become familiar with the technicalities on the road and helps them prepare for the permit test that precedes
the driving test. After passing the permit test, student drivers need to accumulate 50 road hours, 10 of which are to be done at night, to fulfill the requirement to take the driver’s test. Road hours provide students with actual, hands-on experience behind the wheel, with the safety of a certified driving instructor in the vehicle. Better Drivers instructor Leslie Smith said student drivers on Guam usually don’t come off as nervous when driving, because for the most part, they already know how to drive. “Guam is an interesting place to teach driving. The majority of the students already know how to drive. But they do bring with them bad habits,” he said. Instead, what they need to work on is how to drive correctly or “drive by the book.” This means students need to break their bad habits on the road and learn how to drive properly. Smith
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parenting parenting noted that common mistakes younger drivers make include aggressively hitting the gas pedal, tailgating the vehicle in front of them and failing to come to a complete stop. However, with the proper guidance and tools, these blunders can be easily fixed.
A student driver practices parallel parking techniques between two tires.
The Right School
Twenty-one-year-old Catherine Mie Bungabong commented on her time in driving school and recalled the importance of practice and learning the laws on the road played vital roles in getting a license. Smith advised first-time drivers to do their research when looking for a driving school. “It’s the place that is going to pave the way to getting a license, so put some time into selecting one,� he said. Smith added one should consider factors, such as what services the institution offers, supplementary textbooks and if they actually teach driving. Make calls and visits to ask the driving school questions to see what best suits you and your needs.
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Faith Realica is a senior communications major at the University of Guam interning with Promo Infomedia. She hopes to become a full-time journalist after graduating.
parenting parenting
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I[Yh[ji je HW_i_d] W >Wffo 9^_bZ Writer Dad guest posts on ZenHabits.net to provide advice on keeping children optimistic. By Sean Platt
D
ature and nurture are in a neverending battle to claim the disposition of our children. While it’s true that the apple rarely tumbles far from the tree, it is also true that there are a multitude of things we as parents can do to safeguard our children, limit their exposure to the more damaging elements the world will see fit to introduce in time and do our best to raise a healthy and happy child. We might not be able to help the variety of our branches, but we are the ones who control the nutrients in their soil and the sunlight in their sky. In addition to the obvious things, such as making sure your child is consuming the right nutrients, staying hydrated and getting the quantity of sleep and exercise a growing body needs, here are seven secrets that can help you raise a happy child.
' B[j oekh Y^_bZh[d adem oek Wh[ [nY_j[Z je i[[ j^[c m^[d j^[o [dj[h j^[ heec$
Let them see the light dance inside your eyes when their gaze drifts into yours. Be mindful of their presence by showing them your smile and greeting them warmly. Say their name out loud. Not only do children love to hear the sound of their name, they also long to feel validation from their loved ones. Think about it from an adult perspective — wouldn’t you love it if the face of the person you loved most lit like a holiday parade every time you entered the room? Your child loves you the most. Imagine the returns after a childhood filled with such affection.
( J[WY^ oekh Y^_bZ _jÉi eaWo je X[ Xeh[Z$
As parents, it’s often our instinct to entertain our children each and every waking hour. When we don’t possess the time or energy, it is all too easy to allow the glowing blue babysitter in the living room to do the heavy lifting. But when we rely on
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parenting parenting television or any other form of autopilot attention, we succeed only in limiting our child’s development. Children have vivid imaginations that flourish upon nurturing. But without coaxing their creativity, it will only whither on the vine. Allow your child idle minutes to develop his or her creativity with hands-on activities to stimulate his or her thought. A few sheets of paper and a box of crayons can keep a child busy for far longer than an episode of Dora.
) B_c_j oekh Y^_bZÉi c[Z_W$
Related, but not limited to, number two. Limiting your children’s exposure to media isn’t only a positive move for promoting their creativity, it is an excellent method to broaden their attention span while grooming their ability to stay calm. Your child will have plenty of exposure to more than you want soon enough. During those precious years when you are the designer of their decisions, you must make sure they are learning to live a life independent from the over-exposure that is often too easy to rely on. Yes, it is difficult, but we owe it to the next generation to search for the right road rather than the easy one.
* B[j oekh Y^_bZ adem j^[o Wh[ ceh[ _cfehjWdj j^Wd meha Xo ]_l_d] j^[c [o[ YedjWYj WdZ Wjj[dj_ed$ Your child doesn’t just need you around, they need you present. Play with your child, interact with them, find out what is important to them by asking questions and listening to their answers. Your child deserves at least a little bit of you each and every day, at least a few minutes where you are not considering your email or allowing your thoughts to wander over what’s been left sitting on your desk. Letting your child know they are important is like giving them an insulin shot of happy.
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+ B[j oekh Y^_bZ cWa[ W \[m e\ j^[ hkb[i$ You don’t have to make them the boss to let them feel empowered. Often, power struggles with our children are the direct result of them feeling a loss of control. You can easily curb these instances by allowing your child to feel like they are part of making up some of the protocol. By at least appearing to give your child some of the control, you are helping him or her understand household law inside and out. This will lead directly to a willingness to follow.
, J[WY^ oekh Y^_bZ Å ZedÉj Wi# ikc[ _jÉi Wbb ^Wff[d_d] ekji_Z[ j^[ ^eki[$ Home schooling is every parent’s job. Whether your child attends public or private school or receives all their schooling at home, it is essential to the world’s best future that parents are the ones to fill in the blanks. Plenty of skills are not taught in school that play a massive role in determining who your children will grow up to be. Children are not raised in Tupperware and when they finally leave us to enter the world far away from our watchful eyes, they must have the sharpened tools that will help them be the best that they can be.
- CeZ[b Wffhefh_Wj[ X[^Wl_eh$
In my opinion, this is the most important item on the list. Children do as they see, not as they’re told. If you want your child to be mindful of others, you must be mindful of others yourself. If you want your child to by happy, you must smile without hesitation. There is no one more influential to your child than you. At least for now.
Raising a happy child is hard work, but it is something that can and must be done. Once you focus on the needs of your child and ensure you are doing all you can to meet them, your efforts will be rewarded. You will have a healthy, happy child fortunate to have been raised in a family where childhood wasn’t permitted to simply fade away. Sean Platt blogs about his experiences as a father on www.writerdad.com. He was a guest blogger on www.zenhabits.net, run by local author Leo Babauta.
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teen scene teen scene
Open the Lines of
Communication Establishing a relationship early with your child encourages respectful dialogue between teen and parent. By Janiece A. Sablan
M
ore than ever before, parents are being encouraged to communicate with their teens. Organizations like The Partnership for a Drug-Free America and The Kaiser Family Foundation are utilizing media to spark discussion and to provide resources for parents and teens.
A Time of Change
Why is it that adolescence has such a tumultuous reputation in the first place? Depending how far you are from that particular phase in your life, it may or may not be easy to recall the changes and challenges that are typical in teen years. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology, a person encounters numerous developmental issues in this stage. With a movement toward independence, teens are likely to struggle with a sense of identity, experience moodiness, complain about interference from parents, and have a feeling of awkwardness both emotionally and physically. Teens also begin to realize the imperfections in their parents. These changes alone can make communicating with the adolescent in your home tough, but add to that the importance of peers, rule and limit testing and numerous other factors and it may seem like you are constantly hitting a brick wall.
Essential Ingredients: Interest, Time & Love
Mother of six and early childhood educator Stephanie Jimenez of Piti pointed out a common mistake parents make is thinking that you are always right and not giving them a chance to tell you how they feel. Her children are ages 16,15, 12, 9, 2 and 9 months. In order to keep the lines of communication open, Jimenez advised parents to “know what [their children] are interested in, who their friends are and not always assume that they just want to be alone.” Sometimes they do need to talk and spend quality time with you even if it is just for a few short minutes. She said, “Be open about the world around them. Let them know that you trust them, but they will be held accountable for the 30
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decisions that they make.” She added, “Take time to talk about school and the importance of staying focused on their long-term goals. But most of all, you should remember to always let your teens know they are loved even when they seem the most unlovable.”
Time to Talk
The Web site www.timetotalk. org offers parents usable resources, such as downloadable “Talk Kits” with topics like “Five Teachable Moments” and “Answering the Question: ‘Did You Do Drugs?’” They also offer A Parent’s Guide to the Teen Brain, which explains typical teen behavior, the science of teen years in a nutshell, and skills, tips and tools for managing this stage. These are all terrific resources; however, it is essential to keep one thing in mind — especially if you have young children in your home. It is never too early to cultivate the lines of communication with your child. Why wait until teen years to worry about those important topics? Parents can inch their way into tough topics, such as drugs and alcohol, sex or even media and technology. Talking to a teen for the first time about such heavy subjects can be intimidating, so
teen teen scene scene Research shows that kids who learn a lot about the risks of drugs from their parents are up to 50 percent less likely to use. By talking to your kids about drugs and alcohol, you can help them make better choices and live safer, healthier lives. — Information from The Partnership for a Drug-Free America
setting the stage early on and revisiting these discussions can be much more comfortable for everyone. On the Time to Talk Web site, parents will find scripts to talk to children from preschool age all the way through young adult years. This is especially useful if you don’t even know where to begin. Statistics on Guam for teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol use, and suicide are staggering. Despite many intervention programs and support groups available on the island, research continues to show that the most effective way to keep our children on a healthy and happy path throughout life is parental support and communication.
Janiece resides in Agana Heights with her husband, Greg, and five children ages 10, 8, 6, 4, and 2. She is also the president of a non-profit organization working to open U’zeum Children’s Discovery Museum of Guam.
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family table family table
l o o CPicnic Ideas By Faye Varias
Take advantage of the beauty that is Guam and enjoy the outdoors! Whether you want to plan a romantic evening for two, an outing with the family or an adventure with friends, our island has just the perfect backdrop.
Shore to Shore
Picnics are a great way to spend time together as a family. And the beach is an easy spot to do it. Anyone can throw together a few sandwiches and drinks and pack them up for a beach day. Toss in a volleyball, a frisbee and sandcastle molds and you’re all set!
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family table table family Picnic Tips!
a When packing a picnic, keep non-perishable foods
(potato chips, fruit, etc.) separate from perishable ones. This way you’ll save cooler space & ice for items that need it. Remember, the more stuff you pack in the cooler, the less cold it will be. An ideal ratio is 75 percent food and 25 percent ice, but 50-50 is even better! a Pack your cooler in reverse order. Put your dessert in first, the main course second and the appetizers third. This way you won’t have to dig around in your cooler to find the items you need. This will save you time, effort and will help keep the cooler cold longer. a Freeze drinks (unless they’re in cans) the night before. This will help them stay cool, as well as act as supplement ice in your pack. If you’re worried about messy condensation, wrap them in aluminum foil (which may keep them frozen longer) or store in ziploc bags. Even if you don’t freeze them, make sure they’re already cool. It’ll keep the cooler colder longer if the items are already cold. a If you’ve got the tupperware, pack things in individual servings. This way you won’t have to worry about serving spoons and you’ll save time when dishing out the food. a If you’re packing a cook-out picnic, be sure to keep the raw foods away from the cooked foods. Ideally they would be in separate coolers. You don’t want to worry about cross contamination. a Thanks to the picnic pack list, you’ll never forget your blanket again. But what happens if the ground is wet? To ensure a nice dry spot, consider bringing along a tarp as well. a When looking for the perfect picnic spot, find one that fits the weather. If it’s hot, look for one in the shade (keep the cooler there too). a If your food will be exposed, keep flies away by keeping it covered when not in use. Consider napkins with weights (such as small rocks) placed on each corner. a Even if it was delectable, throw away any perishable food that has been left out for more than a few hours. www.yumsugar.com July 2009
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family table family table
Happy Trails Freshwater caves, waterfalls and swimming holes — there’s a hiking spot for everyone. Enjoy a picnic as you reach your destination and don’t forget to bring lots of drinking water, sunblock, insect repellent, a hat and sunglasses.
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family table family table
Two to Tango Pack up some wine, lay down a blanket and cuddle with your partner while watching the sunset. Take your pick among any of the island’s scenic spots and don’t forget the following essentials: comfy blanket, treats to share, wine and glasses (and a corkscrew) and add in a few votive candles to spark up the romance.
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calendar of calendar of events events
July 2009
sun
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Chief Gadao Cultural Camp July 1 - 3
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thu
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GAIN’s Bark in the Park at Ypao Beach
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Guam Triathlon National Championship
Agat Fiesta
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UOG late registration deadline for Session C
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Liberation Day
Liberasion Guahan 2009 Recreational Softball Tournament July 23 - 26
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calendar calendarof of events events Don’t miss out on the fun this month!
fri
7th Annual Nissan Guam Amateur Golf Championship July 3 - 5
3
sat
Independence Day
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Calendar of Events in July July 1 - 3 • Chief Gadao Cultural Camp. Call 828-1671 for more information.
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July 3 - 5 • 7th Annual Nissan Guam Amateur Golf Championship at the Country Club of the Pacific. E-mail Sam Teker at st@ttguamlawyers.com for more information. July 4 • Independence Day
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July 5 • Guam Triathlon National Championship at Merizo Pier July 6 • UOG late registration deadline for Session C July12 • GAIN’s Bark in the Park at Ypao Beach. Call 929-2839 for more information. July 21 • Liberation Day
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July 23 - 26 • Liberasion Guahan 2009 Recreational Softball Tournament. For more information e-mail guamsoftball@gmail.com. July 26 • Agat Fiesta
Summer Youth Swimming & Water Safety Program closing ceremony.
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July 31 • Summer Youth Swimming & Water Safety Program closing ceremony.
If you’d like to place your special event or sports activity on our calendar, e-mail us at editor@guamfamily.net.
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centerstage centerstage
Kimberly May Borja Songbird excels in school and on stage. By Faith V. Realica If you come across a young lady with a microphone in one hand and a book in the other, you may very well be looking at Kimberly May Borja. The 18-yearold recent graduate from Okkodo High School is a star student and is involved in several extra-curricular activities.
did you know...
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Extra-curricular Activities During her high school career, Borja managed to keep her grades among the top of the class while being a member of the Mock Trial team, the Academic Challenge Bowl, Future Educators of America and Amnesty International. But her favorite was Mock Trial, which she learned about from friends who were already on the team. “It was a common interest for all of us,� Borja said. “It opened up new opportunities and though it was hard work, it was worth it.� Mock Trial, an interscholastic competition between schools, stages a fictitious trial in which students act as lawyers and witnesses. An actual judge or lawyer presides over the “trial� and determines the winner based on their performance and their knowledge of the law. During her sophomore year, while attending Simon Sanchez High School, she played the role of the chief crime
centerstage centerstage
scene investigator, which she said needed a mix of acting, confidence and memorization for her to get into character. That year, her team won second place. She said it’s really important to know the material and present it in a way that’s believable. Other than that, Borja said she just had fun with the part. Vocals and Books In addition to extracurricular clubs, Borja is the vocalist for Fatal Conscious, a rock alternative band comprised of performers Merlynn Tulen, Naomi Uy, Julius Raposa and Ashley Sablan. Borja snagged the part with no audition required. “I thought they were asking me to audition for their band. But what they were really asking was for me to audition with them,” she said. “They hadn’t even heard me sing.” But she said it worked out and was a really good experience. Borja also enjoys picking up a good book. “My friends make fun of me because they never see me without a book,” she said. Since the beginning of this summer, she said she has read 20 books. Her sister, Christine, also shares the same love
for reading. “I remember her handing me a couple of books and telling me to read. I guess that’s what started me on it.” Academics and Beyond During her senior year at Okkodo, Borja was inducted into the National Honor Society. She maintained an “A” average and took part in several community service activities. Her main drive was to be part of a group that was going to make a difference. As part of the first graduating class at Okkodo, Borja played leadership roles in the establishment of clubs at the new school. She was the president of the Academic Challenge Bowl and secretary of Amnesty International. Upon graduating, Borja ranked in the top three of her class of about 200 students. “Going to Okkodo High School, there was a lot to be done and there was a lot of obstacles that I needed to get through,” she said. “I guess I liked the challenge of it all — to get it going at a new school.” Between academics and other activities, Borja said finding something you’re enthusiastic about will give you the
“If you find something that you really love, then it’s not difficult to find a balance.” — Kimberly Borja
push you need to succeed. “It’s a matter of finding the motivation,” she said. “If you find something that you really love, then it’s not difficult to find a balance.” In the fall, Borja plans to attend the University of Guam, using her merit scholarship to major in English and linguistics or education.
If you’d like to recommend a student who is making a difference, e-mail: editor@guamfamily.net.
Expand your Talents Today! For Children: Acting/Modeling Hula/Tahitian Tippy toes Ballet Hip-Hop/Creative Dance Jiu jitsu/Little Dragons Your Baby can READ Kindermusik/Sign Language Jump Rope/Theatre After School Tutoring
For Teenagers and Adults: ASVAB/GED Prep Women’s Hula Women’s Tahitian Women’s Belly Dancing Salsa, Meringue, Cha-Cha Hip-Hop Women’s Self Defense
Studio Hours: 7:30am-6:30pm Office Hours: 2pm-6pm Phone: 475-8269 Open Monday-Sunday Located in Maite across Plumeria Garden Hotel e-mail: thetalentbox@gmail.com July 2009
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3
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5 4
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Identify each numbered item in the image on the corresponding line at the right. Then have fun coloring the picture!
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10 1. 2. 3. 7. 9.
4. 5. 6. 8. 10.
See Answers on page 48
Let the fun begin! Find the five differences in the pictures.
Pet of the Month
TJ is Home An abandoned terrier is finally in a good home thanks to the Guam Animals In Need 2nd Chance Boonie Rescue program. The program, modeled after the greyhound rescue program, essentially gives a boonie dog or cat that has been abused or is in poor condition the extra attention it needs. TJ was one such animal. He was found in early March roaming near the home of two GAIN volunteers who noticed that he appeared to have been beaten by strays bigger than him and suffered from a skin infection. Later, the volunteers learned that TJ’s owner passed away and it is unknown how long he has been wandering the neighborhood looking for scraps to keep himself alive. Through the 2nd Chance Boonie Rescue program, TJ received necessary veterinary care and was placed in a foster home. On May 26, he was adopted by a family in North Carolina and he joined them there on June 4.
This program is made possible by the generosity and commitment of GAIN’s members and volunteers. Every animal deserves to be in a loving home. But until that day happens, Guam Animals In Need will continue to work hard to rescue animals from situations such as TJ’s. But GAIN needs YOU. To help rescue more animals like TJ become a GAIN member or donate to the 2nd Chance Boonie Rescue Program. As a 501 (c)(3) IRS-recognized organization, all of your contributions are tax deductible. Please call the Yigo Animal Shelter at 653-GAIN (4246) or visit www.myspace.com/guamanimalsinneed.
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July 22 is Parents Day
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Hallo C’kemi as-salām ‘alaykum Héébee
Chamorro Chinese Fijian Finnish French German Hawaiian Hindi Indonesian Japanese Korean Latin Māori Portuguese Russian Samoan Sicilian Spanish Swahili Tagalog Thai Tongan Vietnamese
Håfa Adai Nǐ hǎo Bula Terve Bonjour Guten Tag Aloha Namaste Selamat siang Konnichiwa Annyeonghaseyo Heus Ave Kia ora Olá Zdravstvujte Talofa Ciau ¡Hola! Habari Mabuhay! Sawùt dee Malo e lelei Chào anh (to a man) Chào chị (to a woman) Mogethin
Yappese
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4th of July Word Search
Kusina Kusina
Mudd Pie by Denise Rita Santos You will need: 8 oz. Chocolate instant pudding 8 oz. Cream cheese, whipped 1 cup low-fat milk 1/2 cup mini marshmallows, cut in halves 1/2 cup almonds, chopped 1/4 cup semi-white chocolate chips 1 can whipped cream 2 ready-made graham pie crusts Directions: Mix pudding and cream cheese well. Add low-fat milk and continue stirring until smooth. Add marshmallows, almonds, white chips and blend well. Pour ready pudding mix and fill the pie crust to about 3/4 full. Top with whipped cream, cover and refrigerate overnight. Enjoy!
From Our Kitchen to Yours
3x Key Lime Pie by Denise Rita Santos You will need: 2 packages of lime instant Jell-O mix (reserve half of one box) 1 1/2 cups boiling water 1 tbsp. lime juice 1 ready-made pie crust 8 oz. Cool Whip (reserve half) 1/2 cup chopped pecans Directions: Mix instant lime Jell-O with boiling water and let cool. Pour cool lime Jell-O into pie crust and let set for 30 minutes. Fold reserved lime Jell-O with 4 oz. Cool Whip until it has a pudding consistency. Blend layer over Jell-O in pie crust and let set for 20 minutes. Fold in lime juice with the rest of the Cool Whip and layer over set blended Jell-O lime pudding. Cover and let it set overnight. You may substitute the lime Jell-O for another flavor if you wish. Serves 12. Have a recipe you’d like to share? E-mail high-resolution photos, ingredients and instructions to editor@guamfamily.net, and you may be published in the next edition of Kusina in Guam Family! July 2009
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Meskla Meskla
Play Ball The Santa Rita Summer Softball Tournament closes the season with fun and family. By Faith V. Realica
T
he stadium lights beat down on the field. Ten players stand on the dirt turf and fix their eyes on the ball. The batter approaches the mat and eyes the pitcher. The pitcher winds up the ball and throws it toward the opposing team member. The batter swings with all his might and the ball cuts through the wind flying across the field and night sky. The annual Santa Rita softball tournament made a comeback this summer after a hiatus of a few years. Santa Rita Mayor Dale E. Alvarez coordinated the summer tournament in early March and ever since, softball enthusiasts returned to the baseball field for a game or two. “Santa Rita always had a very strong desire [to play] softball among the teams in the village. It’s an intramural,” Alvarez said. News of a softball series in the works was spread by word of mouth to inform the public about the event and interested prospects formed teams. A Family Game The village has a total of eight teams comprised of both men and women — a big turnout considering the league only existed a few months. Since the tournament is an open roster, there is no minimum or maximum number of members; some have up to 25 players. The only requirement is that the members be from Santa Rita or have relatives affiliated with the village. “We’re trying to start this thing as a family. ... That’s my goal ... to make everyone come out and just have fun. It’s not to see who’s the best team,” Alvarez said. “Just come out and play ball and bring your family.” 46
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Meskla Meskla Unlike usual sports teams that are named after their respective home towns, the Santa Rita softball league teams show their familial pride by naming their teams after their last names. Alvarez has his own team comprised of his sons, nephews and in-laws. Additionally, two other teams in the tournament are made up of family members, including the Hauri family and the Poto family. The Hauri family is comprised of mothers, brothers, sons, uncles and cousins and the Poto family considers their group “mixed generation” because their members range from ages 16 to 50. Each night of the season, relatives, friends, and sports fans filled the bleachers to support their family members or favorite teams. They carried lawn chairs, coolers and snacks. The audience was made up of people of all ages including the elderly. In the background, signs hung on the walls from businesses and companies that monetarily support the league. The crowds loudly rooted for the teams and
held homemade poster boards displaying words of pride and encouragement. Although there’s some teasing, it’s done in good spirits. Bringing People Together Faithe Escolona of Santa Rita, a mother of one of the players, was also a participant in this year’s tournament. She expressed how the softball tournament is linked to good virtue and spending quality time with loved ones. “It’s kind of like a family thing. [It] brings back family values. Sportsmanship is a good thing for the family. We all go together, we all play together,” she said. “Camaraderie is always there. Win or lose you go out there and have fun.” Escolona mentioned that after each game, families usually held potlocks open to everyone and anyone who wanted to grab a bite to eat. As the summer games closed and trophies were prepared, players were rewarded with an awards ceremony as a remembrance of their hard work and victories.
With the league being such a success, other villages have shown interest in forming their own teams. Alvarez has plans in the future to extend the tournament.“[Now that the season’s over, I plan] to open a Southern side of the island league,” he said. Alvarez hopes the summer softball tournament will become a tradition and people will continue to spend their nights in the ballpark for years to come.
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sneak peek sneak peek
Coming Next Month! Health - What health issues should you be concerned about before the school year begins?
Family Reunions - Family relationships are not always easy but they are always important. In Our Regular Departments: Protecting Your Child Getting Kids Cooking Teaching Your Child to Save The Importance of Date Night and MORE!
ANSWERS TO PAGE 40 1. Pineapple 2. Grape 3. Watermelon 4. Cherries 5. Strawberry
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6. Pear 7. Banana 8. Lemon 9. Orange 10. Apple