November 2009 www.guamfamily.net
Beyond DNA
After a traumatic past, Camryn Mosley ďŹ nds peace and happiness with her adoptive family
The Season of Giving Choose age appropriate toys for your children this holiday season.
Spending Time With Your Child GFA Soccer Jamboree Dealing With Peer Pressure Creating a Family Culture
Features Beyond DNA
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After a traumatic past, Camryn Mosley finds peace and happiness with her adoptive family.
The Season of Giving
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Choose age appropriate toys for your children this holiday season.
Departments Familia: Guam Family Message Board 8 Got birthday greetings or special events to announce? Highlight special events in the Familia photo pages. Parenting: Family Time 18 Don’t underestimate the power of casual days spent together. Parenting: Soccer Jamboree 20 The Guam Football Association celebrates fun and cameraderie with a family celebration at the end of each season. Health Spot: Pediatrician Picks 23 Choosing your child’s first doctor is no easy task. Teen Scene: Peer Pressure 26 Open and honest communication helps tackle negative peer pressure and support good friendships. Family Traditions: Create Lasting Memories 30 Traditions old and new strengthen families and create memories for everyone to share. Calendar: November Events 32 Check out the schedule of events to see this month. Center Stage: Beyond Rock Band 34 Rigel Swavely juggles school, extracurricular activities and still finds time to perform with multiple musical groups. Kidsville 36 Turn to these pages for fun and games for the kids and young at heart. Kusina: Taco Wreath and Pecan Chess Tarts 39 Enjoy these dishes from the kitchen of Dee dela Peña.
On the Cover: Camryn Mosley enjoys the sunset in Hagåtña after speaking with Guam Family about her adoption story. Photo by David Castro. November 2009
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feedback feedback Did you know Guam Family has a Facebook Fan Page? Read what our fans are saying about us! Wow! Cool magazine. — Dave Gardner
This has gotta be good home grown stuff! — John Angoco
Being here in Southern California for so many years, I am very excited for your publication and am now a big fan. I’m hoping to send my kids to Guam sometime next year, and this will give them some better insight to my homeland. Thank you! — Andy Boatman
Greetings from Hercules, California! — Vincent Cruz
The fact that being away from our beautiful Island Guahan, these magazines would definitely keep my mind focused to know that Guam is my island and where my heart belongs. — Julie Villasoto Aguigui
You can become a Facebook fan too! Find us online at http://www.facebook.com/guamfamilymagazine 4
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Publisher Stephani Ferrara Editor Faye Varias Assistant Editor Bryan C. Sualog
Great job featuring my family (Quintanilla) in last month’s issue!
Contributors Joann Blas Clare Camacho David Castro Dee dela Pena Christina Ann Pestanas
— Clare Camacho
Advertising Sales Stephani Ferrara
Aguon The fact that being away from our beautiful Island Guahan, these magazines would definitely keep my mind focused to know that Guam is my island and where my heart belongs. — Julie Villasoto Aguigui
This is great! I learn things I didn’t know about my island and fall in love with it all over again. -Bernard and Vedalema Valencia
Art Direction Taliea Designworks Production Taliea Designworks
Administration Tia Camacho Printing T&T Printing, Hong Kong ADVERTISING INFORMATION sferrara@guamfamily.net Opinions expressed in Guam Family are not necessarily those of the publisher or our advertisers. SEND COMMENTS TO Editor GUAM FAMILY P.O. Box 27290 Barrigada, GU 96921 E-mail: editor@guamfamily.net Tel: 671.635.7501 Fax: 671.635.7520 Web site: guamfamily.net ©2009 GUAM FAMILY All rights reserved. Owned by Promo Infomedia, Inc. Jerry Roberts, President
feedback feedback This is a great magazine — finally something for us out here feel closer to home. — Shirley and Vern Lababit
I love the magazine! It provides a lot of information and interesting articles that I myself am able to keep my interest in! Looking forward to the next issue! — Aisha Dela Rosa
editor’s note editor’s note Family Day When I was in school, I was one of those kids who joined almost everything. I think it drove my parents crazy, because both of them worked, and chauffeuring me from place to place became a necessary part of their schedules. So when I was old enough to get my license, I think they were only too happy that they no longer had to deal with my numerous extracurricular activities, and even better, there was someone to pick up my little brother from school as well. As most parents know, teenagers plus licenses equal kids who are hardly home, so my parents came up with Family Day. Every week, Sundays were blocked off strictly for family. No friends coming over, no going anywhere. We didn’t have to go out to lunch or have anything special planned. Just that we were all together, whether it’s watching a movie, or just lounging at home. This was time we spent talking about our week, what events were coming up, but basically, just to catch up. These were days I missed when I went off to college. For seven years, I lived in Hawaii where my nearest relatives were still a plane ride away in California. Holidays, such as Thanksgiving and Easter were spent with college friends and their families. Though I never became accustomed to cranberry sauce, I’ve gotten a few people to convert from gravy to finadene. One Thanksgiving, one of my college friends opened up her home and invited all of us who lived in the dorms to celebrate the holiday with them. I became part of their activities and their traditions became part of mine. This is one of those traditions that made its way back home with me. Our house is a regular gathering place for visiting friends and my dad’s colleagues who are hired from off-island. Though turkey and stuffing are served, so are ribs and red rice. These celebrations are why this issue has been one of my favorites to put together, not only because I love the holiday season, but because it makes me smile as I read about different customs. No matter how people celebrate, it’s all for the same purpose — spending time together as a family. Now that I’m back at home, I’m glad that I get to spend these special days with my family again. My 18-year-old brother may gripe about it sometimes, but with time, I know he’ll come to appreciate how much we care enough to be in his business. Though we haven’t quite reinstated family day, it’s no longer too much of an effort to get together. After all, I bought the place next door to them and am no longer an eight-hour plane ride away.
F a y e Va r i a s Editor
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program though, now that’s not so unusual. You can earn money for your favorite local school every time you Eat Fresh™ at SUBWAY®.
A HEALTHY WAY TO HELP STUDENTS
E
veryone knows SUBWAY® is where you go to Eat Fresh™. It’s the healthy alternative for lunch or dinner, and where delicious meals for fewer than 500 calories are plentiful. But did you know it’s where you can go to help your favorite local school? Probably not.
Equating toasted BLTs or Roasted Chicken Breast 6-inch SUBWAY® sandwiches to fundraising usually doesn’t happen. Thanks to the Subway School Rewards™
All you have to do is encourage your school principal, administrator or PTO president to enroll your school at www. schoolpax.org. It’s fast, easy and FREE. Once your school is enrolled, get a free SUBWAY® Card at any SUBWAY® restaurant, or use your existing one, register the card online at www.SubwaySchoolRewards.com, and link it to your favorite school. The next time you go into Subway®, load the card with cash, then use it to pay for your meal. A percentage of everything you spend will go toward the school of your choice. We all want to help our local schools, and right now it’s more important than ever that we give our teachers the resources they need to enrich the learning experiences of our students, said Marcos Fong, managing director of Subway Pacific in Guam. The SUBWAY SCHOOL REWARDS® program allows us to give
using the money we would spend every day for a healthy lunch or dinner. To make registering cards online even easier, SUBWAY® Guam will be holding a series of registration drives at locations on Guam. Visit www.subwaypacific.com for a list of those events. In order for schools to begin receiving a percentage of purchases from participating SUBWAY® customers, they need to register online at www.schoolpax.org.To see if your school is enrolled, just visit the site. We’ve been looking for an opportunity to help like this for a long time and look forward to helping schools meet and exceed their fundraising goals, Fong said. It’s a way for parents to help their children, all while eating healthy.” For more information on Subway School Rewards™, call Amanda Casciaro of Glimpses Advertising at (671) 649-0883, ext. 111.
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Beyond DNA After a traumatic past, Camryn Mosley finds peace and happiness with her adoptive family. By Faye Varias
W
hen you first meet her, Camryn Mosley seems like any other 18-year-old girl. She’s bubbly, outgoing and full of life, with a thousand hopes and dreams awaiting to be fulfilled. She has a mom and dad and six brothers and sisters and she is preparing to go to college. One would never guess that she lost her biological parents before she entered the first grade, or that she was born in a small Cambodian village. Or even that she was the product of a scheming adoption agency’s agenda. Yet, through thick and thin, Camryn’s adoptive parents supported her, and showed her that the meaning of family goes beyond sharing DNA.
Tricked
“I remember everything,” Camryn recalled. In 1999, Camryn, who was then known as Songkea, was living in Siem Reap, Cambodia with her older sister, Le, her husband Bu’on and their baby son, Vitbol. Her older brother, Muot, also lived with them. “A short walk from our house lived my aunts,” she said, according to a victim impact statement issued in 2004 by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. “They lived with their husbands and children. We were all very close.” She was a good student and even took dance lessons. “One day, [after dance class] a man stopped me and told me to go and ask my family if I could live in America,” she said. “Who wouldn’t?” The following events happened very quickly and Camryn said she was very confused and scared. She was moved to an orphanage where she lived for a few weeks and was told she would eventually meet her new mother. “I didn’t [get to] say goodbye to my sister or anyone else.” According to the Jan. 19, 2004 edition of
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“It doesn’t matt er that we don ’t all have the s biological par ame ents. Family is family.” —C amryn Mosley
People magazine, Judi Mosley was brimming with anticipation as she traveled to Cambodia to meet the 6-year-old orphan she was adopting with her husband through a Seattle adoption agency. The agency told her the little girl had no family and spent the last four years in an orphanage. But she was in for a big surprise.
New Mom
Camryn was taken to meet Judi, her “new mom,” in Phnom Penh in December 1999. Camryn said she felt immediately drawn to her; she tried to explain to Judi that she had a family in Siem Reap. Unfortunately, they had a language barrier. Judi spoke English. Camryn spoke Khmer. The next day, when Judi was under the impression that they were on their way to the orphanage from where Camryn came, Camryn gave the taxi driver directions to her house in Siem Reap. “We arrived there and my sister came down the stairs smiling and crying,” Camryn said in the statement. “My new mom was very confused and went to find someone who could speak Khmer and English.” Judi discovered all Camryn’s paperwork were falsified. Camryn was neither an orphan nor was
she only 6 years old. However, Judi believed that Camryn’s family knowingly gave her up for adoption, but that the documents were simply mishandled. Camryn said, “We spent the next two days with my sister. ... When we left, my sister was very sad and [she] cried a lot. But at least we got the chance to say goodbye.” Judi made sure Le had all she needed to be able to keep in touch.
Life in America
When she first moved to America, Camryn cried a lot, especially at bedtime. “I tried to be brave for my new family, but I missed my Cambodian family so much,” she said. At one point, Judi asked Camryn if she wanted to go back as she seemed so unhappy. But she was very confused and mixed up. “On one hand, you know it was wrong, what they did. But on the other hand, how do you go back after living the so-called ‘high life’?” Camryn said. Camryn decided to stay with her new parents. “What a terrible decision to place on a little girl,” Judi told People magazine. “She could see her life had improved to no end, but she missed her Cambodian life.” As time went on, Camryn adjusted. And when she spoke enough English, she was able to tell Judi what November 2009
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really happened. “She was recruited, solicited — call it what you like — for adoption,” Judi told People.
Justice Served
Camryn’s story was a godsend for federal authorities. Unlike many children who are infants when they become victims of adoption fraud, she was old enough to remember Camryn at 12 years old with her what happened to her. mom, Judy According to a January 2009 article in The Washington Post, the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service halted adoptions from Cambodia in December 2001 and began its own criminal investigation. In November 2004, Lynn Devin and Lauryn Galindo, owners of Seattle International Adoptions — the agency that arranged for Camryn’s adoption — were charged with falsifying documents and the organization was shut down. This is the same agency from which actress Angelina Jolie adopted her son, Maddox. Galindo pleaded guilty to federal charges of conspiracy to commit visa fraud and launder money stemming from her role in arranging the adoption of Cambodian
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children. Devin pleaded guilty to related charges after providing information to officials about her sister’s activities, the article stated. It is unknown how many of the more than 700 children the agency handled were actually orphans. The following month, Galindo was sentenced to 18 months in prison and ordered to forfeit more than $1.4 million in property in Hawaii. Devin, who prosecutors say did not know babies were being bought, was sentenced to six months of house arrest. According to Ethica, Dr. Terry Hastings, who performed psychological tests on Galindo, said Galindo felt her identity and higher moral purpose — “saving” children — were more important than the trivialities of paperwork. Ethica is a nonprofit corporation that seeks to be an impartial voice for ethical adoption practices worldwide. Hastings testified in Galindo’s sentencing hearing that to Galindo, falsifying paperwork was a means to an end, which she felt was justified. Ethica reported that Judge Thomas Zilly who presided over the case in Seattle District Court said no, the end does not justify the means. The judge noted that the court received letters from both victims and supporters of Galindo, but Camryn’s statement spoke volumes about the trauma experienced by many. He stated that Galindo’s “conduct in taking children from their families far outweighs all [her] good work.”
Family
It is a hard enough — and expensive — process for parents who choose adoption. When complications arise, it turns an already difficult situation into an emotional roller coaster.
“Yes, I have a better life and have more opportunities,” Camryn said. “But no one has the right to decide that for anyone else.” She has made peace with her situation and feels that things happened for a reason. In 2004, she and Judi visited her biological family in Cambodia and was excited to see them again. She continues to stay in touch with them. Camryn said she feels very lucky to be adopted by Judi and Tony Mosley. She said she feels a very strong connection with Judi. “My mom is my best friend,” she said. In addition to Camryn, the Mosleys adopted four other children — Hannah, 12; Naomi, 13; and Megan, 16, from Vietnam and Samuel, 15, from Africa. They also have two biological children: Nina, 20 and Guy, 18. “People ask me all the time what it’s like to grow up in such a mixed family,” Camryn said. “But we have the same issues other families do. It doesn’t matter that we don’t all have the same biological parents. Family is family.”
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Choose age appropriate toys for your children this holiday season. By Bryan C. Sualog With the holiday season quickly approaching, if people haven’t already started their Christmas shopping, they’re at least thinking about it. Shopping for an older child is easy. They already know what they like and what they want and are able to communicate it to you. Shopping for babies and young children can be harder. There are more factors that need to be taken into consideration: health and safety concerns, if the toy is educational or not, is it appropriate for the child’s age, and expense. The number and variety of toys available can make shopping daunting if not a scary task, but here are some tips to help you through the whole ordeal.
Age Appropriate Toys According to www.howstuffworks.com, a good toy should challenge a child at his or her level of development — if it is too difficult, it can frustrate the child. 14
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If it’s too simple, the child will become easily bored with it. A good way to check if the toy is appropriate is to check the age range of the toy, which can usually be found on the packaging. Here are some suggestions for children as young as infants to 3 years old. Infants to 1 year old Mobiles help babies develop the ability to focus, but are not meant to be played with. More hands-on gifts include rattles, teething rings, and toys that make noise and have moving parts motor, visual and aural stimulation. When choosing a teething ring, check to see if it is unbreakable and washable. It should have rounded stems and no loose parts. Rattles should not be able to fit in a baby’s mouth — this is to avoid choking. Rattles come in a variety of shapes, sizes and weights. Make sure the rattle you purchase is appropriate for the child’s age. Children 12 to 18 months old By the time a child is a year to 18 months old, they should be able to stand and sit up by themselves and are old enough
for blocks — just be sure the blocks have no sharp corners. Toys that teach children to sort by color, shapes and sizes can also make a fun and educational gift. If the child is able to walk on his
or her own, consider push-pull toys or toys they can ride on. These gifts are only appropriate for children who can walk on their own. They can be dangerous for children who aren’t walking yet.
hand-eye coordination and matching skills. With the child imitating adults more than ever, occupation toys, such as a doctor’s kit would also be appreciated.
Children 18 to 24 months old By this age, children are talking so a toy telephone gives them an opportunity to copy adult activities. Blocks and shaperecognition toys are also make good gifts. Be careful not to buy shape-recognition toys with too many pieces, which may frustrate the child. You should also watch out for pieces that are small enough for a child to swallow. Pounding toys teach children hand-eye coordination and enhance gross and fine motor schools. Hammers should be soft, so the child isn’t injured by it. Activity toys — toys that children crawl or climb on to develop dexterity — can also make a good gift.
Safety
Toddlers 2 to 3 years old By this age, children are more creative, have longer attention spans and enjoy imitating adult activities. Dolls, toy trucks and toy dashboards all make good gifts. Puzzles can also make good gifts. They help strengthen
Once you have a toy picked out, you should check to see if the toy is safe. Rosanna Rabago, environmental health specialist with the Department of Public Health and Social Services Division of Environmental Health, said the best prevention is education. “The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission is the one that regulates all toys and consumer commodities within households. A lot of times — almost every week — there’s a recall, whether it’s a pacifier, art supplies, or clothing materials.” She said to keep track of what products have been recalled. Check the U.S. Consumer Protection Safety Commission’s Web site at www.cpsc. gov. There, parents can find an updated list of products that have been recalled. When choosing a toy, you want to make sure it comes from a reliable manufacturer and labels are in English, Rabago said. Check to see that the toy doesn’t have any sharp edges that can injure a child. Also check if the toy has any parts that can easily pop off and cause a child to choke. “Toys that don’t look safe because they don’t have sharp edges ... they
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should report it to our department so we can take a look at it.�
Checklist
Here is a quick checklist from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission to help you choose a safe gift: 1. Select toys to suit the age, abilities, skills, and interest level of the intended child. Toys too advanced may pose safety hazards to younger children. 2. For infants, toddlers and all children who still mouth objects, avoid toys with small parts which could pose a fatal choking hazard. 3. For all children under age 8, avoid toys that have sharp edges and points. 4. Do not purchase electric toys with heating elements for children under age 8. 5. Be a label reader. Look for labels that give age recommendations and use that information as a guide. 6. Look for sturdy construction, such as tightly secured eyes, nose, and other potential small parts. 7. Check instructions for clarity. They should be clear to you, and when appropriate, to the child.
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8. Discard plastic wrappings on toys immediately, before they become deadly playthings. By using common sense and these safety suggestions, holiday shoppers can make informed decisions when purchasing toys for children.
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parenting parenting
Family Time
Don’t underestimate the power of casual days spent together. By Clare Camacho
die pool. e together in a kid
tim Grantham spend Robyn and Aria
Playing board games is a popular pasttime for families.
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n the radio the other day, there was discussion on the importance of quality and quantity when it comes to spending time with your children. Imagine, the speaker said, you go to a fancy restaurant and pay $100 for the best steak in the world. The waiter comes out with a steak that’s 1 inch by 1 inch in size. Stunned, you ask the waiter, “Is this it?” And the waiter says, “It’s the quality that counts, not the quantity.” As a customer, you wouldn’t accept that response. In the same way, we shouldn’t accept that only quality matters when it comes to spending time with our children. “Quality time” has been oversold as a way for us to assuage our guilt about not spending enough time with our children. However, quantity and quality both matter especially when doing what’s best for them. Making the Time As a working parent, I know how difficult it can be to find time to spend with your children. Between hectic schedules and life’s surprises, there aren’t many spare moments left. The answer is: you don’t find the time, you make the time. Quality time with children is important for their growth and development in all areas — emotional, social, physical and even brain development. Studies have shown families who have lots of quality time together have less violence, less drugs and addictions, and less emotional stress. This means more well-adjusted children and adults, and a better world for all of us. Fortunately, time together doesn’t need to be planned or involve costs. Here are some of my top suggestions for quality time with your children: 1. Mealtime. Mealtimes are wonderful ways to start and end the day. Don’t make it inquisition time; make it a time to show interest in what your children are doing. Also, share parts of your day – a funny thing that happened, or a difficult situation you had to deal with. Children can learn from these instances. 2. Board games. Sounds like a cheesy commercial, but board games are great fun. Monopoly and Pictionary are popular games for the whole family. I also recommend the game Cranium, which my family enjoys. 3. Car time. When the kids were younger, we would play “Story Starter.” I would start a story, “I opened the door to my closet. I saw a purple monster sniffing my shoe.” Then everyone would have a turn
Pixie fairies Rowena and Jordyn Zacarias play with the “Feely Box” at the Make-a-Wish Foundation Halloween Extravaganza.
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Jordyn Zacarias enjoys a tea party with her Nino Bermen Cruz.
adding a line or two to the story. The story was sometimes hilarious, and sometimes stale, but everyone was able to contribute. We would also play “Build a Burger.” I put something on the burger, the next person would say what I put on the burger and then add something, and the next person would repeat all the previous ingredients and so on and so forth. 4. Reading. I could do a whole article on this. No matter the age, reading can be a great way to spend time together. All the bonding and love is wonderful, not to mention the collateral benefits of increased vocabulary, reading skills, the list goes on. 5. Outdoor play. Mandatory! Turn off the television and video games and get out there. We all know how wonderful it is to work up a fun sweat. 6. Prayer and tradition. No matter your faith, spending time with your child in prayer and faith provides a good foundation for development. Sure, kids may initially complain, but as they grow, their understanding and appreciation of their faith and traditions will grow too. We need to show our children what sustains us. There’s too much that can’t be understood in this world to rely only on ourselves.
Quality time with children is important for their growth and development in all areas — emotional, social, physical and even brain development.
Groundrules A golden rule — no televisions, video games, or computers allowed in bedrooms. This encourages time together. So even if my child is playing a video or computer game, I can monitor what he’s playing, and I can also comment and ask questions and show interest in what he’s doing. We all want our children to grow up to be happy, welladjusted adults. The best way to do this is to spend lots of quality time together. It’s not just our responsibility as parents, it really is a lot of fun. Parents benefit from more play time too. So squeeze in a lot of those precious moments and spend time with your children. You will be glad you did, and they will too.
Dr. Clare Camacho is a professor at Guam Community College. She is the department chair for the Early Childhood/Education Department, which provides a certification program for day care center employees and other programs.
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parenting parenting
Soccer Jamboree The Guam Football Association celebrates fun and camaraderie with a family celebration at the end of each season. By Faye Varias
S
ports fans of all ages have come to acknowledge the Guam Football Association (GFA) as a gathering of fun and family that not only encourages staying active but helps children learn about teamwork. To celebrate the end of each season, the GFA holds an allday family gathering fiesta style, with tents, food and drinks provided by each club. According to Muni Abdullah of the Crushers Football Club, as the league grew bigger, the clubs decided to organize an all-club soccer jamboree, which was first held in the Tiyan main soccer field in 2000. On jamboree day, up to 1,200 players ages 5 to 17 from any of the 15 soccer clubs engage in friendly competition. “Jamboree is more of a family day,” Abdullah said. “Supporting family members will be at GFA to watch some games but most importantly to be with fellow families whose kids have the same soccer interest, to have fun at the same time and to enjoy all the foods and drinks.” Jean Cepeda, president of the Isla Sports Association
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parenting parenting
Parents and children enjoy food and fun at the annual soccer jamboree.
and coach for the ISA Islanders, said she is involved with the soccer community to teach children the fundamentals of soccer, sportsmanship, discipline and competition in an atmosphere that is welcoming, positive and friendly. She said sports helps her bond with her son and husband. “It’s a subject that the three of us have many conversations about, we’re at practice together, we’re on the field all day on Saturdays, we even watch games on TV together.” Cepeda’s 12-year-old son, Joshua, has been playing soccer since he was four. She and her husband are both coaches. “All this work is actually a selfish act for the sake of our only child, but if it helps [multiple] players every season, then we’re doing something right.” Cepeda said, with only 1,200 kids playing in GFA’s youth league, there are still so many elementary-age children not involved with the sport because there aren’t enough coaches and volunteers and field space in which to practice. “GFA is willing to help parents learn the fundamentals of coaching, but it takes dedicated volunteers to run a club as well as benevolent sponsors to help a club stay active throughout the year and for seasons to come.”
For More Information: Annette Spindel, GFA Director smoker@netpci.com Gianna Tenorio, GFA Administrative Assistant gianna@guamfootball.com November 2009
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health spot spot health
picks
Pediatrician
Choosing your child’s first doctor is no easy task.
Dr. John Garrido of Isla Pediatrics performs routine checkups on Izabelle Xyanah Pestanas.
By Christina Ann Pestanas
When my husband and I were expecting our first daughter, we were both thrilled and worried. Thrilled about becoming parents and worried about the challenges. Decisions had to be made, from where to deliver to the endless possibility of names. The toughest decision, however, was choosing the right — Christian Ann Pestanas pediatrician. There is no exact science to choosing a pediatrician. Everyone has different needs and priorities. But it does take some time and effort. Everyone is different and beyond all the questions and background checks, the connection with your children’s pediatrician is important too.
”We decided to ask people we trusted. Nothing beats firsthand experiences from other parents.”
Where do we start?
Every parent dreams of finding the perfect pediatrician So how do we choose a pediatrician — especially for those crucial years of early childhood development? My husband and I didn’t know where to begin. The phonebook was no help. We decided to look at a list from our insurance provider, but it was impossible to choose a pediatrician by just looking at a name. We finally decided to ask people we trusted. Nothing beats firsthand experiences from other parents. During lunch one day, I asked other moms at work about their children’s pediatricians. During a Lamaze session, my husband asked other dads for recommendations as well. We narrowed our list down to three names.
Collect Information
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health spot health spot
by the American Board of Pediatrics? Do they accept our insurance? Were they accepting new patients? Where were they located? I called different clinics. Some receptionists responded promptly to my questions while others had difficulty answering them. It was worrisome that some had to “find out” if their doctor was certified. Other clinics, however, had very knowledgeable staff that easily addressed my questions. These experiences helped us narrow our decision to two pediatricians. My husband suggested that I visit the clinics and get a “feel” for each one. I was nervous for some reason, but eager to see the clinics.
What Feels Right
The first clinic didn’t get my vote. It was frustrating trying to find parking and I discovered there were other doctors servicing patients of all ages, from sixmonth-old infants to 60-year-olds. I asked the receptionist if the clinic had brochures about the particular doctor I wanted to know more about and she responded
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with a “no.” So I left. I told my husband about the exasperating visit and prayed the next one would be better. The prayers worked because I fell in love with the second place. I was welcomed and asked if I needed any assistance. I smiled in return and asked about brochures. The friendly receptionist handed me a newsletter from the counter. After giving her my name, insurance provider and due date, she gave me forms that needed to be turned in at the hospital when I deliver. After thanking her, I glanced toward the patient waiting area. I saw adult and child-sized chairs, some abacus toys, a children’s movie playing on TV, and colorful quilts and stuffed animals covering the walls. I loved the cheerful atmosphere and it made me feel like a kid again. I shared my experience with my husband, and we made our decision without hesitation.
The Right Choice
When the doctor came to visit Izabelle when she was born, he was friendly, funny and compassionate. I still remember his big, white, kid-friendly tie with red polka
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dots. He congratulated us, examined Izzy, and gave us new-parent tips. At our first nerve-racking well-baby visit, the doctor and his friendly staff made us feel comfortable and relaxed. Since that first visit, our doctor has provided us with a personal touch, as if we were his only patients. He listens to every concern, no matter how trivial. He’s also wonderful with both our daughters. The girls absolutely adore him, and our youngest, Xyanah, loves to entertain him. He’s like the jolly uncle everyone likes to visit. When it comes to the health of our children, the time and effort is worth it. We can do no less than our best to ensure the best for them.
Christina Pestanas is an instructor at Guam Community College. She holds a bachelor’s degree in elementary education has more than 10 years of experience teaching elementary school students. She is married with two daughters, Izabelle (3) and Xyanah (1), and enjoys spending time with her family, scrapbooking, bowling, going to the beach and wishing she could exercise.
sponsored by:
Peer Pressure Open and honest communication helps tackle negative peer pressure and support good friendships. By Joann Blas
A
sk any pre-teen about their day and you’ll probably get the same response I get from my 11-year-old: “It was okay.” The pre-teen stage is the age of transition, a time of discovery, trial and error, and a point for parents to take a deep breath, pray, and then pray some more. Children are beginning their journey into the scary world of adolescence, where the rules change, expectations rise, and responsibilities increase.
The Value of Good Friends
Peer pressure is probably the thing I worry about the most at my son’s age. My son is a good person, with a good head on his shoulders. But it doesn’t mean he can’t be pressured, especially if he is trying to fit in or feel a sense of belonging. He already has a strong sense of belonging with his family, but at this age, the belonging with friends becomes more important. During the pre-teen years is when many children are asked to try their first cigarette, drink their first alcoholic beverage, or do other things that challenge their values or beliefs.Most times, they do these things to look “cool” in front of others, and sometimes they are just curious. This is also the age at which children begin to define themselves to others — maybe by who their friends are, or their village, or even the group with which they are affiliated. It is their time to create a path that will follow them to high school.
Pressure at All Ages
Peer pressure exists at all ages. Sometimes, even adults get pressured into buying the latest gadget even though they don’t need it or can’t afford it. But pre-teens often don’t have the experience or maturity to make the right decisions and to weigh the consequences of making the wrong 26
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teen teen talk talk
ones. They don’t generally stop and think, how it will their future. Instead, they worry about how they will look to their peers at that particular moment. Often, the pressure can involve doing things that can be lifethreatening, such as drugs, or lead to criminal activity, such as shoplifting. So peer pressure needs to be taken seriously. So what can we do as parents to prepare our pre-teens for the inevitable peer pressure we know they will face? This process begins when our children are young.
Create a Bond
Although it may seem like your children are morphing into strange creatures, they really are just trying to find themselves — to find their voice in the world. Keep talking and asking and sharing. Try role-playing certain situations to prepare them for the pressure they will face. Show them through pictures or personal stories the consequences of making bad choices. Since peer pressure is so strong, monitor their peers, the friends they hang out with. Get to know these friends and their parents. In other words, be involved with your child. All of these strategies will help to arm your child with the tools he or she needs to combat peer pressure.
Keep Talking
I won’t give up asking my son about his day, even when his response is a terse, “I’m okay.” I make myself involved in his world. Sometimes I need to step back and take a breath, but I’m always there. Many times I do an okay job. Other times I feel completely inadequate. Despite my background in working with students at this age — for goodness sake, I’m a high school teacher — I still struggle with holding on or letting go, hovering or giving him space, and even directing his life or letting him make his own decisions. I can’t always be there to whisper the right response in my son’s ear or pull him out of a dangerous situation, even though I wish I could. But I can try and give him tools, and be there for him when it gets tough.
Joann Blas is an instructor at Guam Community College. She holds a bachelor’s degree in secondary education and has five years of experience teaching at the high school level. She is married with two children, ages 11 and 3, and enjoys spending time with her family, shopping, and finding the best bargains. November 2009
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family traditions family traditions
Memories
Create Lasting
Traditions old and new strengthen families and create memories for everyone to share. By Bryan C. Sualog
W
ith Guam being a melting pot for so many different cultures, there’s no shortage of family traditions and customs to be found — novenas, village fiestas and even Hanukkah. It can be something celebrated annually or something as simple as having dinner as a family every day. While it may just sound like an excuse to get together for some fun, family traditions serve several important functions.
Benefits
According to www.answersforme.org, family traditions help bind families together and have great benefits to children. When families set aside times for functions, they create opportunities for interactions. Family members are able to talk about what is going on in their lives and a dialogue is created that might otherwise not have taken place allowing families to “gain greater feelings of closeness, belonging and connection between generations as family traditions are acted out and passed on. In having set customs, rituals, or time together as a family, the family unit grows stronger.” In addition to strengthening family bonds, studies have shown that children in families with traditions as simple as eating meals together are less likely to smoke, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders and consider suicide, according to www.answersforme.org. They are also more likely to do well in school and delay having sex. “Children thrive as a result of family tradition, even those that may seem simplistic or mundane. When families adopt traditions, children are able to sense a commitment to family that helps them to make healthy and balanced life choices.”
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Fiesta Fever
One of my favorite family traditions as a child was celebrating the Yona fiesta every year. Although not large by Guam’s standards, I have many fond memories of eating fiesta food with my cousins and catching up with the rest of my relatives. Over the years, as my cousins grew up and went on to start their own families, the fiesta gradually became smaller and smaller until we no longer celebrated it. In 2002, my cousin Joey Leon Guerrero resurrected the family tradition. He said it’s important to keep traditions like this going. “I try to keep it strong with the family we have on island and enjoy the family being together.” Joey said it started off as a small barbecue with some friends, but grew bigger every year. “Now the whole family is involved and it’s an annual thing.” Joey said he never intended to be the person who resurrected this tradition. “As the years went by we said, ‘Let’s do it again.’ It just kept getting bigger.We’ve been doing it for the past seven years now.” What started off as a small barbecue with friends has evolved
family tra-
family traditions February — St. Valentine’s Day- homemade gifts July — Fourth of July barbecue August — Trip to the beach October — Carve a pumpkin November — Thanksgiving dinner December — New year cleaning as a family
into a large event with a DJ and about 200 attendees. Joey said he didn’t even know everyone who attended the fiesta in 2008. Strangers walking by on the street would be invited to eat and enjoy the fiesta as if they were family. Although everyone has a good time celebrating family traditions such as a fiesta, it takes a lot of commitment and hard work to keep those traditions alive for the younger generations. “I hope they learn from what we’re doing and they keep doing it when it’s their time. I hope they keep it strong,” he said.
New Traditions
If you would like to start your own family traditions, start by simply spending time with your family. Spending time together doing different activities leaves the door open for new traditions to grow. For instance, you may decide to go to the beach. If the family enjoys it, then it can become a weekly family outing and thus a new family tradition is born. If you still have trouble with starting your own family traditions, here are some tips from www.ehow.com. STEP 1: Start with a list of family goals. These can be actual activities such as an annual camping trip or moral objectives like cooperation. Brainstorm ways your family can meet these goals through forming traditions. Feel free to list any and everything on this list, it can be narrowed down as you go along. STEP 2: Make new traditions but keep the old. We all have traditions from our childhoods which we hold dear, some
which have been passed on for generations. It is important to work with your spouse when incorporating these customs into your lives in a way which is respectful and equally fulfilling to both parties. This can sometimes take a lot of compromise and flexibility. It’s helpful to list things that are musts and let go of things that seem more important to the other spouse. STEP 3: Begin simply. You will come away from your first brainstorming session with more ideas than you can possibly use. Try to choose just one idea a month or even four to six ideas a year until you establish consistent family customs. Plan activities as basic and simple as you can, adding to the ones your family enjoys and scrapping ones they don’t as you go along. For example, if you want to start baking cookies for neighbors at Christmas, try one or two simple recipes instead of four intricate ones.
STEP 6: Family traditions that build the best memories are ones that help us to become unified in the face of adverse situations. Activities such as camping are not the most relaxing, clean or easy activity, but it promotes cooperation and bonding. It’s also a great stage for those uncomfortable, unexpected accidents that you can laugh about later. You will find your children telling stories from your camping adventure for the rest of their lives. STEP 7: Sometimes traditions evolve by themselves and what we end up with looks nothing like our original idea. This is how the most amazing discoveries are made. We must begin sometime, so why not today? Start building meaningful, lasting memories with your family that will last several lifetimes.
STEP 4: Holidays are the easiest times to start new traditions. Tweak existing rituals to make them more meaningful to your family. This might involve going getting rid of a few activities to enable you savor each moment. Sometimes less is more. STEP 5: Think seasonally. Create activities your family will enjoy for each season and plan ahead. Make sure to incorporate everyone’s tastes and interests as you go along. Some very simple ideas to begin with include:
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calendar ofof events calendar events
November 2009 sun
• All Soul’s Day
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• GAIN’s Bark in the Park at Ypao Beach.
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• Veteran’s Day
• Interfaith Thanksgiving Service at Guam United Methodist Church.
• Thanksgiving Day • Guam Running Club’s Turkey Trot.
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calendar calendarof of events events Don’t miss out on t he fun this month! fri
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Calendar of Events in November November 2 • All Soul’s Day
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November 8 • GAIN’s Bark in the Park at Ypao Beach. Call Faye Varias at 929-2839 for more details. November 12 • Veteran’s Day November 19 • Interfaith Thanksgiving Service at Guam United Methodist Church in Mangilao, co-hosted by the Jewish and Muslim communities at a Christin church. Call 734-3251 for more information.
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• World Music performance by Cantate at the Church of St. John in Upper Tumon.
November 21 • World Music performance by Cantate at the Church of St. John in Upper Tumon.Tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for students and will be available at Faith Book Store and Marianas Electronics. November 26 • Thanksgiving Day
• Annual Pleasure Island Dance Festival.
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• Agana Heights Fiesta • Jingle Bell Run
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• Guam Chamber of Commerce Annual Christmas Kick-Off at Skinner Plaza
• Guam Running Club’s Turkey Trot. The race features runners in holiday costumes and turkeys as prizes to top finishers. It starts and finishes at the entrance to Two Lovers Point road. Call 632-5818 for more information. November 27 • Annual Pleasure Island Dance Festival featuring cultural performances from Guam and around the world, parade, food and drinks. November 28 • Agana Heights Fiesta • Jingle Bell Run • Guam Chamber of Commerce Annual Christmas Kick-Off at Skinner Plaza
If you’d like to place your special event or sports activity on our calendar, e-mail us at editor@guamfamily.net. November 2009
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centerstage centerstage
Not Just Rock Band Rigel Swavely juggles school, extracurricular activities and still finds time to perform with multiple bands. By Bryan C. Sualog
Music Matters
Swavely has taken piano lessons since he was a child and began learning how to play the guitar a few years ago. Today, he is a part of three different bands. “I started getting into music two or three years ago,” he said. I started playing the guitar seriously and I started joining bands and trying to expand myself in every genre I could, not just rock, but some jazz, blues and metal. I try to get all the different influences,” he said. “There’s a lot of different things that you can take from each genre. I feel that if you focus on one genre or family, then your playing is eventually going to sound like everybody else. I try to keep it different.” Swavely’s interest in various genres shows in the bands with whom he plays. He is starting a jazz band and is also a member of a metal band called Frumps Malone, which he started with a few friends, and the Young Surfers Ensemble, put together by a drum instructor named Ching Batimana. The band plays a wide range of music, including Latin rock, pop and even ska — a type of music originating from Jamaica that combines elements of traditional Caribbean rhythms and jazz.
School Still Priority
While music plays an important role in Swavely’s life, school is still his top 34
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priority. A junior at St. John’s School, Swavely is a member of the National Honor Society and a student council representative for his class. “I always try to do my best in school. I try to be as diligent as I can. St. John’s requires a lot of diligence in order to make it,” he said. “I’ve got my parents pushing me to get into a good college. I try to learn as much as I can.” Although Swavely plans to continue pursuing music, it will be as a hobby rather than a career. He said his favorite subject in school is English so he may pursue something along those lines. “I like the way it gets you thinking. I find it to be more analytic than most of the other subjects. It’s a deeper level of thought for me.”
Open Doors
Being a band member has given Swavely the opportunity to perform at events all over the island, including the Micronesian Island Fair held every year at Ypao Beach and several events at the Agana Shopping Center. “There’s just a certain feeling that you
get on stage. I haven’t found a feeling like it in any other place. It’s just a fun thing to do,” he said. “After you perform so many times, when you do perform, you forget that the people are watching you. You just play.” Music has also taught him the importance of humility. “One of the things that music teaches you, especially when you’re playing with people who are better than you, which is most of the time, is humility. To say that I’m humble wouldn’t be very humble, but I’ve seen it in other people,” he said. “It’s a good social activity too. You meet a lot of good people.” Though he enjoys being a part of so many different activities, Swavely said it doesn’t leave him with much free time. “I’m always doing something,” he said. “During the week, I go to school, I come home and I do my St. John’s homework load, which generally is not small. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I have a different band practice every day.” With only a year left of high school, Swavely said he’s looking at attending college in the states. “I really love L.A. I go there every year because I have a lot of
“There’s just a certain feeling that you get on stage. I haven’t found a feeling like it in any other place. It’s just a fun thing to do.” — Rigel Swavely
family there, so [maybe I’ll attend college] in that area.” And when things get too hectic or stressful for him, he said he’ll always have music to fall back on as an escape.
If you’d like to recommend a student who is making a difference, e-mail: editor@guamfamily.net.
Expand your Talents Today! For Children: Acting/Modeling Hula/Tahitian Tippy toes Ballet Hip-Hop/Creative Dance Jiu jitsu/Little Dragons Your Baby can READ Kindermusik/Sign Language Jump Rope/Theatre After School Tutoring
For Teenagers and Adults: ASVAB/GED Prep Women’s Hula Women’s Tahitian Women’s Belly Dancing Salsa, Meringue, Cha-Cha Hip-Hop Women’s Self Defense
Studio Hours: 7:30am-6:30pm Office Hours: 2pm-6pm Phone: 475-8269 Open Monday-Sunday Located in Maite across Plumeria Garden Hotel e-mail: thetalentbox@gmail.com November 2009
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Color the Vibrant Sealife!
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Dear Dr. Harper, My puppy likes to eat its feces. Is this normal for puppies? How can I stop him? — Pooped Out in Hagatna Dear Pooped, This is instinctual in many animals and starts by the mother eating the feces and urine of her puppies when they are young to keep their living area clean. This habit can carry on through life, and isn’t only restricted to female dogs. The only way to stop this is to remove the waste as soon as possible and do not allow access to it.
Dear Dr. Harper, How can I prevent my dog from destroying my house every time I leave? — Torn Couches in Yigo
Dear Dr. Harper, My dog tends to lick at her paws until they become raw. Is this because of something I’m doing? — Itchy Feet in Barrigada
Dear Torn, Dogs that do this have seperation anxiety and many times have to be medicated along with some behavioral modification techniques. Check with your veterinarian for the best remedy.
Dear Itchy, Licking of the feet is many times the manifestation of an allergy to something. Commonly the culprit is a food item but could also be grass or concrete. Less commonly it can be a yeast infection depending on what kind of surfaces the pet lives on. It’s best to check with your veterinarian.
Dear Dr. Harper is a monthly section that provides answers for common questions pet owners have about their pets. Dr. Harper is a veterinarian with decades of experience and runs Harper’s Veterinary Hospital in Hagatna. If you have a question you’d like to ask Dr. Harper, please send it to editor@guamfamily.net.
PET OF THE MONTH
Meet Gail! G
ail is a sweet little girl who just arrived at the Yigo Animal Shelter. She can be a little bossy, but she’s great with other dogs. If you let her into your home, she will not only spend countless hours snuggling up to you, but will be your lifelong pal. If you’re interested in adopting Gail or any other homeless animal, visit GAIN at the Yigo Animal Shelter or call 653-4246. You will not only be giving an animal the chance to be a loyal pet, but you will also be saving a life.
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Thanksgiving Crossword Puzzle
ACROSS 3. Star of the Thanksgiving Dinner 6. Thanksgiving is often an oc. casion for a family . 8. Mashed 10. Popular root for Thanksgiving dinner. 11. Popular sauce
. can 5. Game often watched on television after Thanksgiving dinner. 7. Thanksgiving turkeys are usu ally full of this. 8. Popular Thanksgiving dessert pie. 9. Most people celebrate Thanksgiving with their .
DOWN 1. It would be hard to cook a turkey without one of these. 2. Most popular berry at Thanksgiving dinner. 4. Thanksgiving dinner is a popular and old Ameri-
Turkey Time Search and circle the words below on the right side of the page. (Check your answers on page 40)
Thanksgiving Harvest
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Cranberry
Dinner
Pilgrims
StufďŹ ng
Cornucopia
Ham
Turkey
Gratitude
Cornbread
Plymouth
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(Check your answers on page 40)
kusina kusina
Pecan Chess Tarts Ingredients 1 cup butter 6 ounces softened cream cheese 2 cups flour 3 tablespoons sugar 4 eggs 3 cups packed brown sugar (white sugar optional) 4 tablespoons melted butter pinch of salt 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 ½ cups chopped pecans (or walnuts) Directions: 1.Start with the pastry by mixing butter and cream cheese.
Vegetarian Taco Wreath Ingredients 1 bag vegetarian grillers meat 2 tablespoons of oil 1 small onion (chopped) 1 tablespoon of garlic powder or freshly minced garlic 1 package taco seasoning mix 2 packages of refrigerated crescent roll dough 1 large red or yellow bell pepper ½ head lettuce, shredded 1 medium tomato, cubed ½ cup sliced black olives chopped green onions (desired amount) 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese 1 small bag of corn chips 1 cup salsa sour cream to garnish Directions: 1.Cook grillers meat over medium heat
2. Add flour and sugar and mix well. 3. Roll into 48 balls. 4. Place one ball in each cup of a mini tart pan. Use a tart press to press into pan to form the shell. You may also use your fingers if you don’t have a tart press. 5. To make the filling, break the eggs over a bowl, but do not beat 6. Add sugar, melted butter, salt, vanilla and pecans. 7. Mix well and fill the tart shells with the mixture. 8. Bake at 350 degrees F for about 30 minutes or until golden brown. 9. Let cool approximately 10 minutes
then remove from pan and place on serving dish. 10. Optional: Sprinkle with powdered sugar.
From Our Kitchen to Yours Recipes by Dee dela Peña
with 2 tablespoons oil, onions and garlic then drain. 2. Add taco seasoning and 2 tablespoons of water, mix and remove from heat. 3. Unroll the crescent roll doughs and arrange triangles in a circle on a 13” round pizza pan, with bases overlapping in the center and points to the outside. There should be a 5-inch diameter circle in center. 4. Scoop approximately 2 tablespoons of meat mixture over rolls. 5. Fold points of triangles over the filling and tuck under base at the center. The filling will not be completely covered. Bake 20 to 25 minutes at 350 degrees or until golden brown. 6. Remove from oven. 7. Using v-shaped cutter, cut off the top of the bell pepper and fill with salsa
and place in the middle of the pan. 8. Mound lettuce, green onions, tomatoes and olives around pepper. Top with cheese and corn chips. Garnish and serve with sour cream. *You may also substitute grillers meat with ground beef or turkey for a nonvegetarian dish.
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sneak peek sneak peek
Coming Next Month! Features: HIV/AIDS Awareness Big Brothers Big Sisters of Guam In Our Other Departments: • Repairing Bad Money Habits • Time Out for Mom and Dad • Great Recipes and Much More!
For more information contact: Stephani Ferrara at 482-2798 ferrara@directionsguam.com Tel: 671.635.7501 • Fax: 671.635.7520
ANSWERS Page 38
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