CPC Winter 2013 by Cairns Parenting Companion

FR EE

YO UR S

Winter 2013

How to ‘ p lay’ more in marriage PREGNANT AT 40!

Encouragement vs Praise with Parenting expert Michael Grose

CAPTURE

the memories

new ways to relive those special moments

When the crying won’t stop

Is it REFLUX?

The kids are watching,

YOU are your child’s 1st role model! Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

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Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Winter 2 013

this issue Local mum develops new organic baby skin care range!

pregnancy 8

pregnant at 40!

editors’ note

capture the memories

Little eyes are watching, and little ears

birth story

are listening. Our feature this edition

baby

is recognising that you are your child’s first role model which can sound a little

the booby trap

daunting especially considering we’re not

when the crying won’t stop

always ‘perfect’ and life can get stressful.

baby brag board

On that note, we have a great article on trying to get that all important work/life

toddler

balance right…here’s hoping! Also a big

your child’s 1st role model

encourage more, praise less

her beautiful belly for all to see on our

motor skills

front cover. We’ve got so many wonderful

primary school

thank you must go out to Joelene Foster from Redlynch who allowed us to display

things you could win in this edition too from a weekend getaway with the family

teacher feature

in Port Douglas to shopping vouchers

school holiday’s

and makeovers. Make sure you check out the gorgeous makeover we did on

parents

Annette Kaden, who was nominated by her

getting the work-life

daughter, and don’t forget to nominate

balance, right

yourself or someone else deserving. If

more play, less work

you’re of South Sea Island descent read about the upcoming 150 years celebrations taking place from June. Thanks for picking us up and... happy parenting!

Juanita and Bec contact us PUBLISHER/SALES: Juanita Soper EDITORIAL: Rebecca Waqanikalou SUB EDITOR: Kate Wilkinson DESIGN:

Sheryn Bewert

www.engineroom.com.au PHONE: 0438 811 027 (Juanita) EMAIL: info@parentingcompanion.com.au ADDRESS: PO Box 4620 Cairns QLD 4870 www.parentingcompanion.com.au www.facebook.com/cairnsparentingcompanion

in marriage

mummy makeover

feature the kids are watching

Camping First Aid for families 50

our contributors Michael Grose Author of 8 parenting books and a regular media commentator on anything parenting related. www.parentingideas.com.au

Pinky McKay Providing real-world, no-nonsense, parenting support Pinky specialises in gentle parenting styles. www.pinkymckay.com

Shaz Spannenburg ‘Shaz’ specialises in portraits, beauty, baby and maternity photography taken from her naturally lit home studio in Redlynch. www.spannenburg.com.au

Kirsty Caldwell Professional photography for weddings, newborns, portraits, commercial & maternity. kirstyleaphotography.com.au

Marnie Hitchins Journalist and mother of three from Edge Hill.

What kind of a role model are you for your kids? Journalist Marnie Hitchins explores the idea that we are our child’s first role model and meets three local families nurturing the minds, bodies and souls of their children by setting an example.

cover

Featuring the beautiful belly of Redlynch resident, Jolene Foster for her new pregnancy journal. Photography by Spannenburg Photography.

DISCLAIMER: No part of this magazine, including advertisements within it, may be reproduced, in part or in whole without the expressed permission of the editor. Whilst the greatest care is taken to ensure that the information in the magazine is correct at time of publishing, readers are advised to check details before visiting. Cairns Parenting Companion cannot accept responsibilities for errors, inaccuracies or omissions. The expressions 4 Cairns Parenting Companion Winterexpressed 2013 within the magazine are not necessarily the views of the Cairns Parenting Companion, but of the individual writers.

WIN ! e p a sc E d n e k e e W y A Famil You could WIN thanks to CPC and QT Port Douglas, 2 nights accommodation in a QT 2 Bedroom Villa including breakfast daily for 2 adults and 2 children PLUS movie tickets for 4 at Moonlight Cinema at QT Port Douglas. Head to our website to enter the competition at www.parentingcompanion.com.au. Entries close 14 July, 2013. Winner announced on our Facebook page.

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Send us your little lifesaver parenting tip to win one of three, $25 vouchers to shop at Howards Storage World. Upload your favourite pic for our community photoboard and go into the running to win a $100 voucher thanks to Michael Aw The Good Guys. Renew your look and feel like a new woman - enter Cairns Parenting Companionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mummy Makeover!

For more information or to enter our competitions online visit:

www.parentingcompanion.com.au Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Foster Carers

make a diďŹ&#x20AC;erence! Children and Young people need someone; who is kind, who is caring, who will listen, who is patient and will be forgiving, who never Give up, who will understand that life has been tough and at times neglectful.

Can you be someone? The diďŹ&#x20AC;erence you could make for a child is unbelievable.

www.lwb.org.au 6

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Our foster families and individuals go through a rigorous assessment and training process to ensure they are able to provide a suitable care environment. Each child and young person is then matched to an approved foster carer based on a range of criteria that aims

All foster families receive ongoing support and training to maintain their capacity to care and assist them to meet the changing needs of each child or young person.

s r e v a s li f e lit tle

Local parents share their favourite tips for making life just that little bit easier.

Top Tip

Dinner Meal Planner

Vegies & Fruits are Lollies I cut all my children’s fruit and vegetables into many shapes and sizes. I have various small cookie cutters and sometimes I make my own weird and wonderful shapes. I place the ‘shapes’ into clip-seal bags and write on them treats. Great options are carrot, celery, cucumber, apple, pear and broccoli trees. Sometimes I dry the fruit to make them chewy and I also throw in some cheese. I have been telling the kids that they are treats, so while we are out shopping, for example, they think they are eating something special and are less inclined to ask for sugar filled lollies. Katharine S

Teething Wet a washcloth in water and put in the freezer. It makes a great soft and numbing item for bubs to chew on. Nyssa G

Emergency Kit Always have a little pencil case of Bandaids, Panadol, Nurofen, tissues/wet wipes, sanitary pad & undies for those little emergencies. A Bandaid can make everything better. Nyssa G

As a busy full time worker, mum and wife etc, to get organised for dinners, I use a Dinner Meal Planner. Each weekend we work out what we have in the house to make our dinners for the week – this way we always know the night before what we have to pull out of the Freezer. We also do up a big boiler of potato, pumpkin, sweet potato, carrots and cook it all up and mash it. We then add grated zucchini and put them in meal freezer trays. Once frozen, I tip them into a large container in the freezer. Then every night I just take out enough for the four of us and put them in the microwave for three minutes to heat up and then we have vegies every night and my boys eat their vegies every meal - saves time, stress and money. Hope this helps you too! Annette J

Egg Cartons NEVER throw these away! They are great to fill with paint and dispose of easily; kids can cut them up to create craft animals like a hungry caterpillar or turtle and they make great pig noses for dress ups. So eat your eggs and don’t forget to keep the cartons! Trudy K

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WORDS Helen Sweeney – Midwife at Trinity Family Practice

T N A N G PRE AT 40! There is an increasing number of women deciding to have children later in life. Some may want to concentrate on their career, find the right partner, lifestyle choice or despite trying, maybe a baby just hasn’t arrived yet. Birth statistics over the past 20 years have shown a huge swing in favour of delaying motherhood, but the burning question many ask is, “Have I left it too late?”.

There is no denying the fact that the odds of getting pregnant in your 40s are a lot lower than in your 20s. At 40, your chance of conceiving naturally is about 40%, falling to about 5% by mid 40s. This is principally because as early as 15 years before a woman goes through the menopause, the number of eggs begins to decline. However, there’s never been a better time in history to try to get pregnant as an older mum, given the range of new fertility treatments. If you are falling pregnant in your 40s, you should consult your GP if you do not conceive within six months of trying to conceive. Waiting longer may diminish your chances of conceiving and various treatments also become less successful as you get older. Reduced fertility is not just about quantity of eggs, but also their quality. By your 40s your eggs are more likely to have chromosomal abnormalities. These abnormalities can significantly raise the risk of miscarriage and Down Syndrome or other chromosomal birth defects. About 1 in 100 babies

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

are born with Down Syndrome to mums at 40, rising to 1 in 30 at 45. With the advances of antenatal screening, problems can be identified as early as 8 weeks with chorionic villas sampling (CVS) and an amniocentesis in the 2nd trimester can give a definitive chromosomal diagnosis. Neither of these procedures is without risk and appropriate counselling is advised to enable an informed decision to be made. Ideally, before you conceive research what antenatal care and birthing options are available to you. Is it private, public or midwifery led care that meets your needs? Statistically, there is a marked pattern of intervention with older mums. However, intervention rates are much higher for mothers having private obstetric care, to those of a public hospital or birthing centre. Older mums often worry that their age will affect their pregnancy and the birth of their baby. This concern is compounded by being labelled “high risk” and “elderly primip/ multip” (first or consecutive pregnancies) by obstetricians. Sadly, anyone over 35 is given this title. It is unfortunately true that older mums have more of a chance of developing conditions such as gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. Older mums are also statistically more likely to have a premature or low birth weight baby or a caesarean section. While there are increased risks involved in being older, the majority of women will have successful pregnancies without complications. Age aside, there are steps you can take to give yourself the best chance for a normal pregnancy and a healthy baby. You can make positive changes to your lifestyle by stopping smoking and avoiding drinking alcohol and taking recreational drugs. Being fit and flexible and maintaining a healthy weight will also be of benefit. See your GP to check your immunisation status against diseases such as chicken pox and rubella, which can cause serious harm to your unborn baby. Also begin taking 400mcg of folic acid at least three months prior to conception. On the positive side, there are huge advantages of being an older mum. You have had time to grow and experience life and are more likely be financially secure. If you’ve been with your partner for a while, you will have had the chance to get to know each other in a variety of circumstances, which will provide for a solid foundation for raising a family. Older mums have some significant physical and psychological benefits over their younger counterparts. Women in their 40s generally lead a healthier lifestyle - they understand the needs of their bodies and look after themselves better in terms of exercise and nutrition. There is also research to suggest that an older mum has more confidence to know what she wants and has the ability and the people skills to get it. Their maturity often lends itself to making wiser parenting decisions, but on the down side they have much less energy! It may seem like there’s a long list of potential risks and worries having a baby in your 40s. But keep in mind there are plenty of women in their 40s who have trouble-free pregnancies and perfectly healthy babies. Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Ctheampteumroeries new ways to relive those special moments

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

As a magazine editor, I’m constantly receiving correspondence from readers about some of their experiences and ideas for the magazine. We love that you consider us and want to be a part of it all. One such letter made us aware of an interesting new service now being provided in Cairns, which we’d like to share with you. Hi Bec and Jua nita, wan ting to my third child, Elija h, and am Last December I gave birth to nant women preg y that I don’ t thin k too man tell you about a special service y. know about – birth photograph help me last child, I wan ted a way to my As Elija h was goin g to be are actually we n g birth. Let’s face it, whe remember the emotion s of givin t to tryin g ugh tho g in the moment, givin g little givin g birth, it is all about bein aph y on togr pho they happen. I had seen birth to remember all the deta ils as y dealing call cifi spe cities, but couldn’ t find one various websites from capital ns. with birth photograph y in Cair ty until aph y. I didn’ t end up meeting Kirs Then I found Kirsty Lea Photogr start the from suite at Cairns Base, but right I was in labour in the birthing . Kirsty made us feel comfortable , and it my son got into a bit of distress ur Tow ards the end of my labo highly was It needed to birth him very quickly. was all action stations as I flurry a amid ly husband, but he arrived healthi emotion al both for me and my of hospital staff. e ama zing. during the labour and birth wer The photos that Kirsty took lmin g joy when he from the fear, to the overwhe The y captured ever y emotion, photographed really came to life when Kirsty arrived safely. But the photos ther for the first time. my children meeting their bro and my that he finally had a brother, My son, aged 10, was ecstatic . Ever y time I erta inty about our new addition daughter’s face showed her unc I cry without walking into the delivery suite see the photos of my children I couldn’ t be photos into a video mon tage, and fail. Kirsty packaged up all the show to our son. something that we can one day happier with the result. It is my birth stor y. sit in a photo book alon g with The photos also now proudly see them, but discreet enough to let others Kirsty’s photos are tasteful and day. hospital room that also portray the feelings in the that more rien ce, and it seems a sha me I was so happy with the expe can let efully through this letter you people don’ t know about it. Hop them. for e ther out is ama zing service pregnant women know wha t an Reg ards Jan e

For more on this birthing photography service phone Kirsty on 0422 115 587 or visit www.kirstyleaphotography.com.au

Winter Winter 2013 2013 Cairns CairnsParenting ParentingCompanion Companion 11

y c n a n g e r P journal

Twelve months ago, well-known local photographer from Redlynch, Shaz Spannenburg, decided to add to her product line of family photography a unique way to document a pregnancy journey.

“One day I was looking for inspiration on Pinterest and noticed an American photographer offering pregnancy journals. It got me thinking that it was a great way to document pregnancy and keep everything together in the one book. I remember my mother giving me one of those baby books where you filled in the gaps, but I never got around to finishing it. It didn’t enable me to add many of my mementoes and photography, so it wasn’t particularly personal,” she said. Shaz describes her pregnancy journals as “a unique, personalised pictorial diary” that can include everything from the first moment you discover you’re pregnant, right through to the final product – your baby! Every journal is different with the option to include baby scans, photos of your changing bump, possible name choices, diary entries, doctors’ comments, your plans for baby’s room and even the ’positive pee stick’ - if you like.

Cairns Parenting Winter 2013 Cairns Companion Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Mothers, and their partners if they wish, are offered photography sessions over three stages of the pregnancy to capture the growing bump. For Joelene Foster, getting a pregnancy journal was a great alternative to her original plans of doing her own scrapbooking. “We went through IVF to get to this stage of our lives and we wanted to cherish and document every moment of it. Shaz had some great ideas for photos and I brought my ideas and

some home photos along. By the end, it felt like she was part of our family.” The pregnancy journals are printed in a hard cover, 10 x 10 inch book that will stand the test of time and are a great way to remember your feelings, thoughts and dreams from this special time in your life. If you would like to find out more about Shaz’s pregnancy journals, visit Spannenburg Photography’s website at www.spannenburg.com.au or phone 4039 0442.

Funbox “A friend of mine had her little girl’s photos taken in the Fun Box last year and it looked great! I thought it was a very unique idea and a fun way to take and display the photos. My girls had so much fun playing and posing in the Fun Box ... the only problem was choosing my favourite 4 - I loved them all! “ Susan Mitchell, Indi’s (pictured above) Mum.

Heaven On Earth’s owners, Mika and Talia Eriksson, wanted to offer a new and exciting alternative to children’s portraits. Cairns seemed to be very limited in options for unique portraits and something that allowed kids to be themselves and at-ease in front of the camera was ideal.

box, tested it out on his two young sons – and voila, the Fun Box was born! Heaven On Earth Photography is in the process of creating their newest idea… The Family Fun Box – where Mum and Dad can also get in on the action and join the kids being silly in the Fun Box!

Everybody knows how much kids love to play in boxes so Mika built a trial

Ph: 0408 948 694 www.heavenonearthphotos.com

s s e k a s ’ p e y e k b a B

Cairns local and mother of 4, Aisha Mills from Twinkle Toes creates gorgeous and unique keepsakes for families. She can preserve baby shoes, bottles, dummies and even hospital id bands with a copper, silver or gold finish. It’s truly something unique that helps capture the memory.

www.twinkletoes.com.au Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

n o i t c e S C Havinygit’sanot all that bad and wh

WORDS Alexandra McLaren

Mothers-to-be have their birthing decisions well and truly made before the big day arrives, but when an unexpected problem occurs and plans quickly change, a caesarean section need not be a frightening or bewildering encounter. Megan Palmer of Mount Sheridan is a new mum who speaks from experience. Two and a half years ago her first baby was born by emergency caesarean when there were concerns for the baby. An operating theatre team are on call 24 hours a day for such emergencies and the surgery was performed quickly. This little one developed problems following the birth. She was quickly transferred to the Townsville Hospital’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit when she began having seizures. Megan was transferred one and a half days later. She felt the pain of being separated from her baby and it seemed an eternity. This time around she discussed her options with her obstetrician.

She explored all of the risks and benefits of an elective (planned) caesarean. Some common medical reasons for choosing to plan a caesarean are previous caesarean section, multiple births and breech presentations. Less commonly, low lying placenta, previous uterine surgery, unusual presentations of the baby, maternal age or illness or obstetric conditions and certain foetal conditions also may result in the obstetrician recommending a caesarean. Caesarean section is performed through an incision into the lower

abdomen and through the uterus to remove the baby and is most commonly done under a spinal anaesthetic. Risks are the same as for any surgery and these include bleeding, blood clots and infection. “This time around it was much different having the planned caesarean,” Megan said. “I was very nervous and the first experience was always at the back of my mind, but everything proved to be much easier than the first time. Actually, it was amazing and I can’t believe how smoothly it all happened. The midwife provided re-assurance to both of us, explained what to expect and stayed with me in the operating theatre. “ Megan received the baby and after the paediatrican had checked him, then the cord was clamped and cut by her husband, Eddie and baby, Keynen was passed to Megan straight away. “My husband and I enjoyed that early contact. The midwife stayed with us until the surgery was complete and assisted with breastfeeding in the recovery ward.”

PICTURED Megan Palmer after her caesarean with son, Keynen in the Cairns Private Hospital

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

The day after Keynen was born, Megan’s intravenous drip and catheter were removed and she was able to get up for a shower and she only needed pain relief occasionally. It is hard to believe that only two days after Megan had her second baby Keynen, she was up and about with visitors in her room at the Cairns Private Hospital and only feeling mild discomfort; not that anyone would be able to tell. The longer recovery time meant a wait to drive and a wound that would need time to heal, but these were relatively minor issues for Megan who said that it was worth it to actually enjoy the experience, to not feel exhausted and to be in a relaxed and controlled environment. Nurse Unit Manager of the Women’s Unit at the Cairns Private Hospital, Marge Foley said there are many tasks the midwife performs in the operating theatre during an elective or emergency caesarean. “The role of the midwife in the operating room during any caesarean is important. She is usually already known

to the mother and her partner and is a recognisable face amongst the sea of masks and eyes in the operating theatre. The operating theatre team works together to make the delivery as easy and comfortable for the mother and partner as possible. Every person has their own individual role to play and the patient is central to this, ” Marge said. “A Caesarean, apart from being major surgery is a significant life experience for new parents. They come to the theatre with their own anxieties and concerns relating to the safety of the mother and baby and when the Caesarean is an emergency, they are often already exhausted by labour and disappointed about the loss of their vision for a ‘normal’ birth. For the mother and the father it is a relief when the baby is healthy”. Mothers who deliver their babies by caesarean usually stay in hospital for five days and during that time, the midwives help the new parents to adjust by assisting them with feeding and providing information to assist them to make a transition to parenthood.

Megan said the most positive part of the experience was the midwives. “They made the whole experience as comfortable as possible. They knew how nervous I was and they gave me such special treatment.” At Cairns Private Hospital our philosophy is to provide support to the whole family. We will do our best not to separate the mother and baby, so it is usual for the baby to be rooming in with the parents but we do have a Special Care Nursery for babies who require extra monitoring and support. Jaundiced babies who require phototherapy may have treatment carried out in the room with their mothers if there are no other health concerns. We welcome the fathers into our department and it is common for first time fathers to stay overnight, often throughout the mothers hospital stay. We understand their need to be present during this important period of bonding and we support them to gain experience and knowledge so that they play an integral role in parenting and become confident with care of the newborn.

Special moment special care …experience the difference at Cairns Private Hospital • • • •

The Obstetrician of your choice The Paediatrician of your choice A team of experienced midwives Baby Friendly Hospital Accredited

Paediatricians Dr Ross Messer: Dr Tim Warnock:

For more information call:

4051 5430 4031 1133

• A luxurious deep bath for pain relief • Planning and preparation for infant during labour care at home • Single room accommodation • Candlelight dinner & personalised care…& much more! • Partners welcome to stay overnight Obstetricians Dr Tom Wright: Dr Roger Waterfield: Dr Natalie Kiesey-Calding:

02 4052 5232

4041 2600 4051 3855 4031 5811

www.cairnsph.com.au 1 Upward St, Cairns

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

MY IVF JOURNEY TO

My Miracle Boy

For my husband, Darren, and I, falling pregnant wasn’t as easy as it seemed to be for many other couples. We tried naturally for three years, then after three more years and 4 cycles of IVF ICSI, we finally got the news that we had wanted to hear for so long: we were PREGNANT! The IVF road was long, painful and disheartening - not to mention financially draining. After three failed cycles, we felt like giving up and had a two year break. When we felt ready to try again, we changed doctors to Doctor Lingam at the Cairns Fertility Centre. Dr Lingam tweaked a few things with my medication to help improve my egg quality and advised me to have acupuncture alongside the IVF. I went to see Kerry Adams who specialises in fertility and IVF support. Kerry was wonderful. In conjunction with the IVF, we changed my diet to gluten,

wheat and lactose free, which made me feel great physically and mentally prepared for the cycle. And it worked!

long awaited, beautiful boy, Beau Patrick Edward Lees, came into the world weighing 7lb 11oz.

I loved every second of being pregnant: from every little kick to the dreaded morning sickness. At 20 weeks we couldn’t wait and found out we were expecting a boy. At 40 weeks our little solider still hadn’t arrived. Another week later, still nothing. At our routine antenatal appointment I was told I was having contractions even though I couldn’t feel anything. Then, a day later, even after my waters had broken, I was still only 4cm dilated.

Our poor boy would never have come naturally as the cord was wrapped around his neck retaining him inside the womb. He wasn’t breathing and those few minutes until I got to see him and hear his first little whimper felt like a lifetime. I had suffered with gestational diabetes during pregnancy and this, along with him not breathing at first, meant he had to go to SCBU, so it was a while before I got to hold my boy skin to skin and breast feed him. We had waited so long for him, so I figured another few hours didn’t matter as long as he was healthy. It was worth the wait.

My boy wasn’t coming and, to make matters worse, his heart rate was dropping with every contraction, so it was decided I was to have an emergency C-section. Finally, on August 31st at 12.13am, 13 minutes after my own birthday, our

Even though the birth didn’t go to plan, I wouldn’t change a thing. We are grateful and truly thankful for our miracle boy.

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Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Your Child’s First

Role Model

WORDS Marnie Hitchins

Kids always parrot your least considered comments at the most inopportune times - repeating something you should not have said in front of the person you should not have said it about, or swearing in front of Nana. Kids copy, a lot. And not just what you say. They also copy what you do and how you do it. Parents are the first (and most important) role model a child has. Mums and dads are observed, copied and questioned by little people who are vulnerable and easily influenced. As the little people become bigger, they do not stop watching and learning; parents still set the example. For most children, that is a good thing. Child psychologist Danae Owen, of Cairns Paediatric Psychology says the first three years of a child’s life are

critical to their emotional well-being and development because so much is happening inside their head at that time. “Children learn from a very young age by watching, asking questions and playing. They are curious and their minds are open,” explains Danae. “Parents need to be aware that kids do as the parents do, rather than what they say. “For a long time, people believed children were like inferior little adults, but now we know that they think and learn very differently from adults. “ “This can be largely explained by brain development. We used to think the brain was fully-formed at birth but now we know that it is not until people are in their 30s that the brain is fully formed.” PICTURED Aquilar Luki and family PHOTO Kirsty Lea Photography

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

The influence of parents can become diluted as children go out into the world, making friends and meeting other people, but it never stops being crucial. Children adopt many of their parents’ ideas about and attitudes towards drinking, drugs, managing anger and coping with life’s difficulties.

involvement whose five children are more likely to be helping out selling glowsticks than dancing at the school fundraising disco.

The Luki Family The day Aquilar Luki turned 15, he left school. In his family, children left

According to Danae, current thinking on the nature versus nurture debate says that children are born with certain predispositions and potential, and this is governed by genes. Nurture comes in next. A child’s upbringing and environment influences whether or not these potentials and predispositions become realities.

school as soon as possible, got a job

“The more we learn about genetics, the more science realises that just because you have certain genetic material, does not mean that that gene will automatically find expression”.

and 19 grandchildren, said it took a

Danae believes that the best thing we can do for our kids is to be mindful of their needs. We can’t be perfect, but we can be mindful.

of Nuie in the Pacific to Cairns, via

“Nurture their emotions, manage your own anxieties, lead a thoughtful life, praise children and don’t be brutal. Lead a meaningful life yourself and your children will see that and follow.”

the same.

We found many families around Cairns who are nurturing the minds, bodies and souls of their children by setting an example. We talked to three such families about parenting and role models. We spoke to the Sullivan family from Redlynch with five children aged between 10 and 14. You would think managing one sport per kid would be challenge enough. A healthy life is paramount to this family, and each child plays at least two sports and a musical instrument. They play hard and they play together. Then there is the Luki family. They place such a high value on education that, at one point, dad and three of his six children were studying at the same university at the same time. Previous generations of their family had never finished high school, much less considered such a thing as university. And the Gardners – volunteers with a long history of community

and earned money. The only reason anyone would think about university would be to laugh at the idea – why would anyone be a chump and work for nothing for four years? Aquilar, now a father of six mostly tertiary-educated, grown-up children generation to change an ingrained attitude to education and set a different kind of example for his own family. He moved from the tiny island New Zealand, to give his children better opportunities. He taught his kids to persevere and study and he did “At one point, there were four of us going to James Cook University – me as a mature aged student, and three of my kids. “We encouraged our boys and our daughter no end. In my family – my children – they have education and they have a lot more security and stability than we did. I have seen what education has done for me and my children and I can’t say enough about how important I think it is.” Aquilar now works at Woree State High in community development, ‘preaching’ the education message. He visits the home of each new student to invite parents to become active partners in their child’s learning. “I have not yet had a parent who said ‘no’. “Not all of my kids will be academic achievers. The idea is that they endure, they keep going. It is about resilience. It is not so important to be the smartest, it is important to have perseverance and dedication. That is the message I try to send.” Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

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Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

PICTURED Terri Sulllivan and family

The Sullivan Family People who don’t know better accuse

it is not simply enough to hold the

Terri and Peter Sullivan of making life

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hard for themselves. ‘Busy’ does not begin to describe

“I wanted the children to have an interest so they wouldn’t turn around

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play a musical instrument and coach

achievement. I don’t ask of my kids

or umpire on the side. Mum plays and

anything I do not do myself.”

coaches hockey, works three jobs in

And it is not all bustle. The Sullivan

health and is studying for a PhD. Dad

family play hard together but they

also plays and coaches hockey and is a

make time to stop too – to talk and

full-time air traffic controller.

enjoy each other’s company, regroup

“People see us running around at hockey or dancing and see how busy you are involved in what your kids do,

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of North Korea’s political and nuclear

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Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

The Gardner Family One day not so long ago, Yvonne Gardner listened while her son’s principal read out a long list of kind, unprompted, helpful deeds her son had been ‘caught’ doing throughout the year. He’d just won the school citizenship award. “His teacher said he had so many skills that he just couldn’t teach in a classroom. I cried. I was so proud. All these things that I had never told him to do and he just did them. It made me think about what our kids see and the messages we send to them.” Yvonne, who has five children aged between 5 and 14 with husband James, has been the school P&C president at Edge Hill State School for five years. Sausage sizzles, discos and fundraisers are a family affair. Even the littlest child will organise himself and start carrying out chairs or preparing food for the function before anyone has a chance to direct him to do so. “I never have to ask them to do things like that. I am not sure, but I think

they just enjoy helping, which is why I do it too. “My involvement with the school started because I wanted my children to see that I care about their education and their school and that it is important to our family – that it is not just a place I drop them off at for six hours a day.” Yvonne was also involved in the Whitfield Community Kindy when her kids attended there, and is on the committee of the Junior Choral Society in which her daughters sing. When we spoke, she had just returned from a week-long church-run youth camp for 100 teenagers aged between 14 and 18. Her oldest son is at Cairns High School now and she said there might be more committees on the horizon. “I think, as a parent, you are always trying to set a good example and you hope your kids will follow it. For us, being community-minded and doing that sort of work brings a richness to our lives and I think the kids see and feel that too.”

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Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

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Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

BOOBY THE

TRAP WORDS Australian Breastfeeding Association - Cairns

In our culture, almost from the instant they appear, a woman spends a lot of time worrying about the size and shape of her breasts. Are they too small? Are they too big? How do I stop my misbehaving nipples from heading off in unauthorised directions?! When she becomes pregnant for the first time, these fears and uncertainties are still there, undermining her confidence and leading to one very scary thought - What if I can’t breastfeed? The simple truth is that breasts are made for breastfeeding, and they’re rather good at what they do. For the vast majority of women, successfully breastfeeding takes nothing more than a bit of time, patience, knowledge and support. There are a few unique situations, however, that present challenges and require a bit of creative thinking or additional support. We’ve outlined a few tips and tricks below to help answer some of the most common concerns raised by new mothers.

“My breasts are too small!” Believe it or not, you don’t need large breasts to be able to breastfeed successfully. In fact, both small and large breasted woman are often capable of producing the same amount of milk. Breasts are made of three main types of tissue – one to produce milk, one to protect it with fatty compounds, and another to connect it all together. The size of your breast depends on the amount of fatty tissue it contains, but this has no influence on your ability to breastfeed. A big-breasted woman may have little milkproducing tissue but lots of protective fatty tissue while a small-breasted one may have the reverse. If you have any milk-producing tissue at all you will be able to breastfeed successfully. Those with smaller breasts may find it useful to support their baby with a

breastfeeding pillow, which will raise them up a little higher and closer to the breast.

“My breasts are too big!” Some mothers with larger bust sizes may find it more comfortable to adjust the way they breastfeed to offer more support. With any new mum, positioning and attachment is the key. Good positions for feeding include both the cradle and football holds. In hot weather it’s also particularly useful to be able to lie on your side to feed as your baby can be a small distance from your body. Bigger breasts also mean that the baby is held lower during a feed and part, or all, of the baby’s weight can be supported by the mum’s lap. However, for mums whose breasts almost touch their laps when they sit down, a rolled up cloth nappy or bunny rug under the breast may prove helpful. The cloth is placed under the breast for support, lifting it high enough for the baby to latch on to the nipple. Supporting and lifting the breast also helps to keep the breast from covering the baby’s nose, enabling baby to breathe and swallow properly.

Flat or inverted nipples Rather than protruding out, some nipples are flat or retract inwards (inverted nipples). In both of these cases, most women are perfectly capable of successfully

breastfeeding – they may just require a little assistance to get it started. Women often find that during normal pregnancy breast changes, their nipples naturally begin to extend out. If not, you may need to coax them out yourself manually or with suction from a breast pump. Simple touch or applying a cold compress may also help the nipple to stand out more. If he becomes used to breastfeeding from very early on, your baby is more likely to attach and feed well. It is best to avoid bottles and teats at this time, as these are very different in shape to the inverted or flat nipple. If supplements are medically required, a cup or syringe may be better choices. Softening the area around the areola by expressing a little milk first may also be useful to help baby attach to a full breast. If you’re still unsuccessful, you might like to speak to a breastfeeding counsellor or lactation consultant about using a nipple shield to encourage attachment. Breastfeeding is an instinctive natural function, but sometimes doing what is natural is not always easy. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed from your partner, family or support services. The Australian Breastfeeding Association provides a nation-wide support for mothers, staffed by fully trained volunteer counsellors. Visit www.breastfeeding.asn.au email abacairns@gmail.com.

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

When the

p o t s t n o w g n i Cry ’t reflux? Is i

Your baby is irritable, grizzly, hates lying on his back, spits up or vomits often, has hiccups constantly and he is a nightmare to feed - he starts to feed voraciously, then he wriggles, squirms and ‘throws’ himself off the breast or when he isn’t doing this, he wants to be permanently attached to your breast. He screams after and between feeds – waking from Proudly brought to you by:

WORDS Pinky Mckay

a deep sleep suddenly screaming as though somebody has poked him with a pin! Take heart – it’s not your fault. Your baby is unhappy because he is uncomfortable or in pain. The symptoms just listed can be a red flag that your baby may be suffering from Gastro-oesophageal Reflux or ‘reflux’ as it’s common called by mums.

Pharmacist Nick Loukas recommends if your child is experiencing reflux and you are breastfeeding, then avoiding cow’s milk products in your diet may help your baby’s sensitivity. Eliminating caffeine may also help.

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

At first, all babies will have ‘reflux’ to some degree, because their digestive systems are immature. At the bottom of the oesophagus (the swallowing tube), there is a ring of muscle that helps keep contents in the stomach. In babies, this sphincter cannot squeeze shut as effectively as it can in a child or adult, and it relaxes randomly and quite frequently. As well as letting swallowed wind be released, these relaxations allow food (milk) to flow back into the oesophagus. For some babies – the ‘happy chuckers’ this will just mean a few spills that don’t seem to affect their wellbeing. At the other end of the spectrum, it can cause heart-burn like pain, abdominal pain, and/ or frequent vomiting, resulting in some of the symptoms just listed. Of course, as babies are all individuals, symptoms will vary from one baby to another. For instance, constantly wanting to feed may be comforting because the natural antacid effects of breastmilk will soothe your baby’s discomfort or he may need more feeds to make up for the milk he lost when he vomited. For another baby, if their tummy hurts as they feed, they will squirm and pull off the breast and may not feed well. Babies with reflux may also be diagnosed with low weight gain or breathing problems. According to paediatric gastroenterologist, Dr Bryan Vartabedian, from Texas Children’s Hospital, author of ‘Colic Solved’ and father of two babies with acid reflux, babies at extreme ends of this spectrum (happy chuckers or babies who are very unwell) are easily diagnosed, but the babies who are between extremes can be more challenging to treat, and even doctors can vary in their opinions as to when or how to treat baby heartburn.

WHAT CAN YOU DO? Firstly, have your baby checked by a doctor – your GP or paediatrician or ask for a referral to a paediatric gastroenterologist (if you are ‘blown off’ remember, you know your baby best. Persist until you get answers to your baby’s distress). A proper diagnosis can involve a treadmill of tests which often compounds your baby’s (and your own) distress. So if other medical causes for your baby’s distress have been ruled out, before you embark on invasive testing, consider whether his symptoms could be caused by conditions such as foremilk imbalance (check with a lactation consultant), food intolerance or allergy, including reactions to foods that may pass through your breast milk. Milk protein allergy can present with very similar symptoms as gastro-oesophageal reflux disease and is more likely if you have family history of allergies, asthma or eczema. If you are breastfeeding, these conditions can be simply addressed by eliminating offending foods from your own diet rather than weaning; a child health nurse, dietician or lactation consultant can advise you. If you are formula feeding, ask your doctor for a script to trial a hypoallergenic formula. Until your baby’s system matures, improving the positions he lies during feeding and sleeping will be helpful to reduce his discomfort - holding your baby upright after feeds will aid digestion. However, young babies without much control of their abdominal or chest muscles tend to slump when placed in infant or car seats (reflux babies usually hate car seats). This increases pressure in their stomachs and worsens the reflux. Try using a baby carrier that supports

your baby firmly in an upright position, comforting him, as well as leaving you ‘hands free’ or use an infant seat that reclines a bit. For sleeping try utilising gravity to aid digestion by raising the head end of the cot - place phone books under the cot legs or place a towel under the mattress (never use a pillow for a baby under 12 months). Placing your baby on his left side closes off the sphincter between the stomach and oesophagus and positions the sphincter above the stomach contents so that regurgitation is less likely. As a result, your baby may sleep more soundly on his left side. However, as this is not advised by SIDS, please check with your health care provider and only do this when you are able to watch that your baby doesn’t roll onto his tummy while sleeping. Meanwhile, don’t blame yourself for your high needs baby. It’s not your fault he cries (and cries!). You are never ‘spoiling’ your baby by helping him feel safe and comfortable. Even if he cries despite your best efforts to help him, at least he will know you are there for him through it all. This is an investment in his security and your relationship with your little one that will last long beyond these tough weeks and months.

Want to know more? For more tips to help your unsettled baby, check out Pinky’s books Parenting By Heart, Sleeping Like a Baby and 100 Ways to Calm the Crying at her website:

www.pinkymckay.com

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Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Mumhmy’s wis

Many mums may wonder how they would cope if they became seriously ill. Who would help keep the wheels in motion in the household? Mummy’s Wish is dedicated to the provision of practical support that keeps young families, with children under 12, functioning and together during Mum’s cancer treatment. The Mummy’s Wish charity was founded in 2008 by two mums, Bernadette Vella and Gayle Richardson. Both women understood firsthand how daunting the doctor’s words, “You have cancer,” are when you are the primary carer of young children. Since then, over 600 families Queensland wide have benefited from the charity. In the last 6 months, since beginning operations in North Queensland, the charity has assisted 15 local families. Local mum, Lyndall Simpson, enlisted the help of Mummy’s Wish during her battle with cancer whilst pregnant. “I was fit and healthy and cancer was the last thing I expected. Unfortunately, it grew rapidly and within 6 weeks had me totally incapacitated. I was barely able to walk, unable to eat, and had no choice but to undergo chemotherapy straight away. Any

delay would have meant a bad outcome for my baby and for me. I spent almost 7 months in hospital, leaving my 3-yearold daughter at home, which was heart breaking. The companionship and example of others who had walked the path with hope will stay with me forever. Thank you, Mummy’s Wish!” Housecleaning, gardening, preparing nutritious family meals and other day to day chores can all be taken care of by Mummy’s Wish to help minimise the direct impact of Mum’s diagnosis on family life and keep a sense of normality that is so important for children. The charity also provides a memorymaking program for families if Mum receives a terminal diagnosis. The program includes funding family portrait sessions, so that Mum’s memory is preserved for her children when she is no longer with them. Ipads can also be loaned to mums and families during treatment induced separations so the family can remain in direct contact and mum can be involved

Phone 07 4036 8111 Po Box 110e, earlville Queensland 4870 email tas@tas.qld.edu.au | fax 07 4036 8222 tas White rock, Progress road tas Kewarra Beach, Poolwood road

in everyday moments like helping out with tricky homework problems, or sharing news of a big day on the playground. With the Comfort Bears, Mum can record a special message for her children on the bear’s voice recorder to comfort them when she is in hospital or too unwell to engage with them. These messages can stay with littlies if Mum should pass away, with the recording able to be copied to computer, so the memory has a shelf life beyond that of a simple soft toy. There are many more services provided by Mummy’s Wish, including the development of a world first online hub that will house tailored support resources for the entire family, with a focus on practical support, positive family moments and wellbeing. “We can’t change the outcome of Mum’s cancer journey, but we can minimise the impact on the family unit.” If you would like to know more, or perhaps contribute in some way, visit www.mummyswish.org.au

The lasT Time you were in school,

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It’s tIme to dIscover a tas educatIon. a lot has changed since the days of the ‘old school yard’. education continues to move forward at a great rate and since its foundation in 1983, tas has been setting the pace. tas has built a reputation for academic excellence, service to the community and leadership in technology, the arts and sport. this dedication to excellence ensures every tas student is given the tools to reach their potential. visit www.tas.qld.edu.au or email admissions@tas.qld.edu.au for more information on how a tas education will give your child every chance at success.

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Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

! g n i m m i Sw Just keep

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

PICTURED The Essential Skills ORIGINALS - Lucas, Emma and Tyler McAuley / Jullianna-bree & Jessie-rose Talbot-Cook.

Essential Skills celebrate turning 5 Just keep swimming” became a catchphrase after ‘Finding Nemo’ and that’s just what the committed Essential Skills Swim School students have done. As part of their fifth birthday celebrations, the staff at Essential Skills have recently awarded students special achievement awards and owners Pete DalleCort and Jess Jones feel proud to have helped the students learn to swim. “We feel like a big part of their family,” says Jess. “We watch them grow up, from babies in the Hot Tots program, to Kool Pre-school when they swim without parents, to Kool Kids learning strokes, then squad where they’re refining [their swimming] technique. “We know all about their big life milestones - growing their first tooth, losing their first tooth, riding a bike, their first day at school.” Pete believes that it’s not just swimming that children learn. “Swimming lessons help kids through all their developmental milestones, physically, socially, emotionally and mentally.” Since its humble beginnings five years ago, Essential Skills has grown into the most popular swim school in Cairns. “We went from an outdoor pool with two teachers to two indoor heated pools and a heap of really good staff,” says Pete.

winter in a heated pool. If they stop, it could be six months or more out of the water as the pool at home is too cold. We see a notable decline in swimming ability and safety if a child misses just one lesson.” “One of our swimming Dads said that years of swimming lessons paid off when one day his three year old daughter approached him with her clothes soaking wet. When quizzed about why she was wet, she said that she ’went swimming’. She had let herself into the pool.” So what makes a family stay swimming with the same school for five years? Jess says, “We have very small class sizes, a beautiful facility, well trained teachers and a program developed with Pete’s Mum, Chris Dellit, using 30 years of swim school experience. “We would like to encourage all parents to continue swimming lessons until the child has reached the goal of 1km of freestyle with good technique.” Over the years, the staff have maintained their commitment to being professional and friendly. “I can’t go to the shops without running into kids. I’m pretty famous!” Pete laughs.

Part of Essential Skills success is their belief that starting lessons early in life and making it a weekly routine is the key to producing competent, safer swimmers. “Our parents realise the importance of continuing weekly lessons through

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South Sea Islander Heritage Our

150 years

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

in the making!

Bring the family and join in the commemoration celebrations. More than 150 years ago working immigrants from the Pacific Islands were brought to Australia as slaves to work and develop Queensland’s Sugar industry. In August 1863, the schooner Don Juan arrived in Brisbane with 67 men from the New Hebrides (now Vanuatu), brought to labour on a cotton plantation on the Logan River. Over the next 40 years, about 62 000 people from more than 80 Pacific Islands – primarily Vanuatu and the Solomon Islands – were brought to Queensland and New South Wales as indentured labourers for the burgeoning sugar industry. Many were deceived into coming; others were kidnapped or ‘blackbirded’. Men, women and children were forced to work long hours at exhausting manual work for low or no wages. Many were treated like slaves. Over many years, Australian South Sea Islanders provided labour to help build local economies and key industries. The sugar industry at that time was undergoing a massive expansion with ‘white’ Australians not willing to work the hard, cheap labour required at many of

the Queensland cane farms. One can only imagine how tough life would have been for them, disconnected from their islander life, living in a strange land in some pretty tough conditions. These immigrants not only played a significant role in the sugar industry but also contributed to grazing, the maritime industry, pearling, mining, the railways, domestic services and childcare. This year Cairns will be acknowledging this important time in our Queensland history. Many Australian South Sea Islander descendants continue to contribute to the future growth of contemporary Australia, with local ancestry links found in communities such as Yarrabah, Mossman, Innisfail and the Tablelands. The Pacific Communities Council of Far North Queensland (PCCFNQ) in collaboration with the Cairns 150 years South Sea Islander Commemorations Committee and Cairns Regional Council aims to celebrate the South Sea Islander contributions and achievements. Bring the family and join in the commemoration celebrations.

Some events not to miss: The Friends of the Botanic Gardens are hosting A SOUTH PACIFIC SOIREE. These WORKSHOPS will teach traditional weaving, cooking, percussion and storytelling into the night. Wednesday 12 June 5-9pm. $10 for guests and $5 for FOBG members. OFFICIAL LAUNCH of the 150th celebrations, featuring Vanuatu Water Women. Saturday 15 June 4.30 - 7pm. Western Lawn and Esplanade Lagoon. Followed by the SOUNDS OF AUSTRANESIA at the Tanks Art Centre from 7.30pm. For a full list of events visit

cairnsesplanade.com.au

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Encourage more, Praise less WORDS Michael Grose

In the last few decades, parents in many parts of the world have enthusiastically followed the positive parenting path of constantly showering children with praise. But for some, giving praise for a job well done has become like a nervous tic.

“You finished your meal. What a guy!” “That’s the best work I’ve ever seen!” “You are such a clever little swimming girl.” “You used the toilet. Let’s ring grandma and tell her what a clever girl you are!” Most parents are well aware of the notion of praise, but are we going too far? Parents and teachers can praise children so much that it becomes a little like water off a duck’s back and lack any real meaning. Children gain their self-esteem from the messages that they receive from others and through their interactions with the world. The main developmental tasks for under tens is to work out what they can do and how they fit into the world. “Am I a chump or champ?”, is a question that concerns many children and praise has often been promoted as the predominant parental tool to boost children’s self esteem. But like any tool, it can be overused and become ineffective.

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Too much praise can be demotivating. If a child is told everything he does is fantastic, then how will he ever really know when he has done something that really is fantastic? Sometimes mediocrity needs to be recognised for what it is – mediocre rather than boosted to another level. Alternatively, the more we praise some kids, the more they expect it and they soon become addicted to praise. If they don’t get a regular fix of praise they wonder what’s wrong.

Encouragement Vs Praise Encouragement is a far more powerful esteem-building tool than praise and it doesn’t have adverse side effects. The differences are marginal, but important. Encouragement focuses on the process of what a child does, whereas praise focuses on the end result. Encouraging comments focus on effort, improvement, involvement, enjoyment, contribution or

displays confidence while praise focuses on good results. An encouraging parent gives children feedback about their performance, but they ensure the feedback is realistic and they work from positives rather than negatives. An encouraging parent will note a child’s efforts in toilet-training and recognise that mistakes are part of the learning process so they are not too focused on the results. Praise, however, is saved for a clean nappy and a full potty. Similarly, encouragement recognises that a child is participating and enjoying a game, whereas praise focuses on winning or a fine performance. While the differences are academic and it may seem like splitting hairs, the results on the potty, in a game or even at the kitchen table should concern children more than they do adults.

As soon as we become more concerned about results than children, we move out of areas of our concern and into areas of children’s concern. In short, praise is about control and encouragement is about influence.

How to encourage kids Encouragement is a skill that can be learned. For it to be effective, it needs to be applied consistently. Encouragement and positive expectations go hand-inhand. Encouraging parents expect to kids to succeed, but not necessarily straight away, and not necessarily with ease. Encouraging parents recognise that kids will be anxious at times, but have faith in their ability to cope. They also value kids as they are, not for who they are going to be. Here are four ways to encourage kids: 1. Practice empathy & show faith in them: Parents need to recognise kids’ genuine anxieties and fears, but also demonstrate faith in their ability to cope. When parents give kids real responsibilities, ranging from handing in a note at school to being home on time as a teenager, they are indicating they have faith in their kids’ ability to handle responsibility, self-regulate and be independent. If parents discover their faith is not warranted then they need to renegotiate the guidelines with their kids. 2. Recognise effort & improvement: It is easy to recognise jobs well done or completed tasks such as winning a contest, earning a badge at school or making a bed really well. How about kids who struggle? Focus your comments on effort and improvement. Help them set realistic goals in line with their capabilities and interests. Learning five new spelling words a week maybe more realistic than the 20 words that his school may require. 3. Focus on strengths & assets: Fault-finding can become an obsession for parents, particularly when they have teenagers. Sometimes kids can have

strong traits, which at first seem like liabilities. Kids who are determined to have their own way may seem rebellious and stubborn. They can be labelled difficult kids,but these qualities and behaviours have a positive side. Dogged determination to succeed is a valuable asset in any field of endeavour and is usually applauded. Rather than criticise, step back and recognise the value of these characteristics. Similarly, focus on the interests and abilities that children possess in all areas rather than what they can’t do. If music is their forte rather than academic success don’t spend all your time pointing out the liability. Celebrate the strength instead. Often when we focus on kids’ strengths, assets and abilities in certain areas they improve in other areas as well. Confidence has a snowball effect, impacting on all areas of life. 4. Accept mistakes & errors: We live in a society that celebrates success and achievement. Perfect marks, immediate results and getting things right seemed to be highly valued. We forget at times that mistakes are part of the learning process. We tolerate errors in adults, but often we don’t in children. View errors as valuable learning experiences, rather than something to be avoided. Low risk-takers and perfectionists will often do anything to avoid making mistakes. Your ability to accept children’s well-meaning efforts in any area of endeavour, irrespective of the results, will go a long way toward determining their attitude to mistakes.

In Partnership with Parents

Catholic schools recognise parents as the first and most important educators of their children. We aim to support parents and enhance a home/school partnership, as we strive to deliver a quality, caring education that focuses on the development of the whole child – not only academically, but also socially, emotionally, spiritually, physically and culturally. In partnership with families, we nurture social and emotional learning that is key to success in school, home life, work and the world of tomorrow.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting we don’t praise or recognise fine performances in any area of life, we just need to practise some restraint. Just as a child who gorges himself on lollies will soon lose interest in something that was once a treat, a child who is praised for every little deed will eventually need a veritable phrase book of positives to motivate him or her.

Experience the Catholic school difference and empower your child to reach their true potential. Visit our website for contact details of all our schools.

For more information on the four goals of misbehaviour and how to respond effectively check out my book One Step Ahead at the Parentingideas.com.au bookshop.

w w w. p a r e n t i n g i d e a s . c o m . a u www.cns.catholic.edu.au

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Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Let no child ever come to us without leaving happier, smarter and more confident. Primary Tutoring

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s O M TORSkiLL

One step at a time

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

According to a recent study published in the international journal, Paediatrics, there is an alarming number of children who are unskilled at basic movements such as throwing, running and jumping. This lack of fundamental movement (or gross motor) skills is a direct result of sedentary lifestyles. Without these skills, children are far less likely to participate in sports or play with their friends, are more likely to have lower fitness levels and are more prone to being overweight or obese. A lack of basic movement skills not only affects the physical health of our children. It can also have a lasting impact on their emotional wellbeing and academic performance. Gross motor activities stimulate the basic foundations of physical, social, emotional and cognitive development. Unfortunately in Australia today, many children are not being given the chance to adequately acquire these motor skills. Statistics show that the average child spends far less than the recommended 60 minutes per day exercising and a staggering 32.5 hours each week in front of the television. But why? We live in a privileged country where we have access to leading education and world-class sporting facilities. While it seems that this shouldn’t be the case, there are a number of contributing factors including: • Dual income working families and a lack of time for active play. • Environmental changes including smaller backyards and restricted space for physical pursuits. • Security and safety concerns that limit a child’s ability to just “go to the park” with their friends. • The digital world – X-Box, PlayStation, iPads, DVDs and computers. Most importantly, however, many parents mistakenly believe that children naturally learn fundamental movement skills. Ready Steady Go Kids is a preschool sport and exercise program found in many locations around Australia,

Singapore and the UK and is now also available in Cairns. Popular for its highquality, physio-designed classes, which teach two-and-a-half to six year olds the fundamentals of 10 different sports, the program aims to: • Introduce preschoolers to a variety of sports in a structured, safe, inclusive and non-competitive environment. • Demonstrate that sport and physical activity are fun and instill positive attitudes towards exercise that last a lifetime. • Develop and enhance ageappropriate gross motor skills, coordination and correct posture, and ensure that critical movement skills are taught and reinforced. • Build confidence and self-esteem by exposing preschoolers to a number of sports and allowing them to “figure out” what they like and what they are good at. • Teach the importance of good sportsmanship and teamwork. • Boost school readiness by incorporating skills such as concentration, listening, following directions and introducing basic concepts of colours, numbers and shapes. The variety of sports offered helps keep the kids engaged with a wide range of activities taught to develop gross motor, fine motor and coordination functions. Brenda Messervy, of Ready Steady Go Kids in Cairns, believes that “all kids should and need to be involved in many sports whilst they are young to help them grow into well rounded confident young people. Sport offers so much to kids, and I am looking forward to being able to deliver lots of sporting fun in the Cairns area to pre-school kids.” Come along to Ready Steady Go Kids Cairns OPENING DAY, Sunday 23 June 2013, from 9am until 11am, at 91-97 McNamara Street, Manunda. START UP FOR CLASSES/FREE TRIALS is the 1st week of Term 3 (09.07.2013). If you would like to know more, visit www.readysteadygokids.com.au Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Australia’s largest

multi-sport & exercise

program for preschoolers

Now in Cairns

Ask for a free trial

aged 2.5–6 years Sports covered: Soccer Tennis Basketball Athletics Hockey Rugby AFL Golf Cricket T-ball

Classes available Monday–Saturday 5 sports covered per term Call the team at Ready Steady Go Kids or visit us online for locations and times in your area.

readysteadygokids.com.au 1300 766 892

RSG0471

WARREN ENTSCH IS WORKING TO MAKE CHILD CARE AFFORDABLE!

• ABS figures show the cost of child care has risen by 22 per cent in two years; a result of Labor’s sweeping changes to providers’ regulations and staff ratios. • Child care providers don’t want child care to be inaccessible, but are struggling with growing costs and excessive paperwork. • Parents are finding it hard to return to work because child care isn’t affordable or available when they need it. • Child care options can be limited for families in regional/remote areas. The Coalition has pledged a Productivity Commission inquiry into child care — we are committed to ensuring child care becomes more affordable, available and f lexible, meeting the needs of both local parents and the child care sector. 40

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Information Packs for Parents My office has a limited number of packs available for parents in the electorate of Leichhardt. These include: • useful details on paid parental leave • a growth chart to record your child’s milestones • handy stationery for around the home • a booklet outlining how a Coalition Government will help families • a copy of the ‘Kids Alive, do the Five’ Living with Water DVD, a guide to water safety for under 5s. If you would like a pack, or if you have a Federal issue that I can help you with, please contact my office.

Tiny Tots

e t a d y a l p EVERY 2ND TUESDAY OF EACH MONTH

at Cairns Recreation Centre, 44 Behan St, Manunda. Fun activities for all ages including an obstacle course, ball games, skating and more!

9.30 - 11.30AM JUNE 11th • JULY 9th • AUGUST 13th Children FREE, Adults $7 includes Coffee and Morning Tea. All weather venue. Bring some socks! Bookings are essential for catering purposes. Please email playdate@parentingcompanion.com.au Bring your mothers group or meet some new people.

Cairns Recreation Centre run the ‘Tiny Tots’ mornings every Tuesday & Thursday 9.30am - 11.30am The cost is $10 per child which includes entry and play. Parents FREE For more information phone 4053 5353 or visit www.cairnsrecreationcentre.com.au Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion 41

The

! c i m e d i p E y t i s e Ob WORDS Marnie Hitchins

these days. We have the ‘biggest OBSESSING over weight is a bit of a national pastime tips for ‘losing that baby fat’; we have loser’; we have women’s magazines offering endless the click of a mouse. access to hundreds of weird and wonderfu l diets at We have all of these things, yet 55,000 Queenslanders are tipping the scales over to ‘tubby’ every year. That statistic is one of many offered up by the Queensland government in its latest snapshot of the state’s health. Some other disturbing statistics are that 1 in 3 Queensland adults is overweight, 1 in 4 adults is obese, and 1 in 5 children is overweight or obese. If only it were as simple as eating less and exercising more. Cairns personal trainer Angela Zappala from Studio A Fitness said Australia’s couch potatoes were getting wider at a constant and alarming rate.

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

“The obesity epidemic really is upon us. Busy time schedules and the hectic lifestyles that families lead mean the quick and easy food options are often taken regardless of the quality and nutritional value of the food,” explains Angela. “Crazy schedules means less time for outdoor activity and more reason to make excuses like, “I’m too tired to exercise.” Angela said turning around bad habits often started small, with a walk in park with the dog and the kids, or a ball in the backyard. “If families do not start taking steps to fight this epidemic, preventable diseases such as heart disease and diabetes will become

more prevalent, and the future holds a world of illness and short life expectancies.” Run in 2 Fitness trainer, Belinda Turner, said forward-planning was often the key for families trying to work healthy eating and exercise habits into their busy lives. “Your priorities change a lot when you have kids … and often, you have to rely on a partner or friend to support you to find the time to exercise. In our family of four, we’ve found we need to sort out in advance what we want to do and how we are going to do it,” said Belinda, who runs most days. “We plan the day in advance in a way we never needed to in the past. Sometimes it is hard

to find the motivation so you do need to have a certain amount of resolve. Many people are using personal trainers to motivate and guide them. It is one less thing to worry about.” Nutrition Australia Queensland’s nutrition program manager Aloysa Hourigan agreed that planning ahead was one of the most important factors in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. “Mostly, breakfast and lunch are not too difficult to sort out, but for dinner, you really need to think about your budget and think about the sort of meals you could prepare for those busy days,” said Aloysa. “Engage a bit of extra help from the older kids or a spouse and make a list of meals that you will eat that week when you have a bit more time on the weekend. When you are busy, the decision about what to eat seems even harder and sometimes it all becomes too much. Having a plan helps. “If you are making something like a bolognaise sauce, cook a double batch and freeze one lot for busy nights. And don’t forget the frozen vegetables. They save on preparation time and, although they may not taste quite as good as fresh, they are a nutritionally-beneficial option.” Aloysa said her top tips for encouraging healthy eating in children were to persist with new foods and put little amounts on children’s plates often. She also recommends trying uncooked vegetables if the children do not like cooked veges and involving children in dinner preparation or table-setting routines. Setting a good lifestyle example is important in families. Cairns doctors, however, say kids have an even better chance of leading a healthy life if their parents start focussing on exercise and healthy eating before conceiving their children.

embracing potential

A holistic approach to education, health and wellbeing during the early years. Equip your child with the skills to become a successful lifelong learner. • QLD Government approved Kindergarten program • Owned & operated by Montessori early childhood teacher/local mum • Whole/raw food focused program • Daily yoga sessions • Extended day operation 7am till 6pm (CCB available) • 15 months to 6 years

9 Brose Street White Rock QLD 4868 Contact us at cairnsmontessori@gmail.com • ph: (07) 4036 1055

www.cairnsmontessori.com.au

Cairns Base Hospital director of women’s health Dr Paul Howatt said being overweight when pregnant can cause serious problems for mothers and their babies. It can also make it more difficult for women to conceive. “We know that losing weight before you are pregnant and that limiting weight gain during pregnancy is very beneficial for your pregnancy and your future health,” said Dr Howatt. He said obese mothers were more likely to have long labours, gestational diabetes, blood clots and miscarriages. “Being obese while pregnant is as much as a risk for the mother and baby as smoking is during pregnancy,” said Dr Howatt. “As doctors and midwives, we sometimes put obesity into the “too hard basket” and do not talk about it at the start of the pregnancy. However, this is the time to try and do something about it.” Dr Howatt said women concerned about their weight during pregnancy, or while trying to conceive, should seek help from their general practitioner, midwife, dietician or pharmacist. The internet has become another viable option to support healthy lifestyles. The Queensland Government has a telephone and online project called the Get Healthy Information and Coaching Service which offers free, confidential, telephone-based consultations to help people make changes regarding healthy eating, being physically active and achieving and maintaining a healthy weight. Qualified health coaches design an individual Get Healthy program. Participants can receive up to 10 free coaching calls over six months and track their progress online.

Counselling, Programs, Training

To find out more about the Get Healthy program call 13 HEALTH on 13 43 25 84 or visit www.gethealthy.qld.gov.au To get help with nutritious meal planning visit www.healthyfoodhealthyplanet.org

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Thanks to

For dairy that is delicious, healthy and a great lunchbox staple, try Mungalli Creek. Award- winning local producers of bio-dynamic milk, yoghurt and soft cheeses.

www.mungallicreekdairy.com.au

Andy Allen, winner of Masterchef 2012

Smoked Salmon Rilettes 300g piece of salmon fillet, skinned and boned 2 sourdough baguettes ¹/3 cup extra virgin olive oil 200g smoked salmon, chopped 2 tbs baby capers, finely chopped 1 eschalot, finely chopped zest of 2 lemons ½ bunch dill, finely chopped ½ bunch chives, finely chopped 200ml créme fraîche cornichons (small pickled cucumbers) and lemon cheeks to serve salt and freshly ground black pepper to season

“This is up there as one of my favourite dishes!”

Place fresh salmon in a heavy-based saucepan. Pour 1L of boiling water over fish and cover with a tight-fitting lid. Stand for 30 minutes to gently poach. Meanwhile, heat a char-grill pan or barbecue to medium-high heat. Brush bread with oil and char-grill for 2 minutes on each side or until lightly charred. Set aside. Remove cooked salmon from water and pat dry. Remove and discard skin. Flake flesh into a large bowl and cool completely. Add smoked salmon, capers, eschalot, lemon zest, herbs and crème fraiche. Stir until just combined. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Serve rilettes with bread, cornichons and lemon cheeks. Serves 6-8.

For these and other great recipes visit In the Kitchen on our website 44

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

www.parentingcompanion.com.au

s r e v a s e t a D Winter

brought to you by

Visit www.cairnskidsactivities.com.au for more great ideas!

21 June - 6 October

Opel Moonlight Cinema See the hottest new release films to entertain all ages at Opel Moonlight Cinema at QT Port Douglas. And movies under the stars not the only thing on the menu but also tempting food and a full bar onsite. For more info visit

www.moonlight.com.au

17th - 19th July Cairns Show It’s SHOWTIME! Grab your discounted family passes (2 adults & 2 children) for $40 from July 3 to July 16 at the Stockland Cairns Show Booth. Our tips for the show: The very popular animal nursery and the Robinsons Family Circus under the big top.

www.cairnsshow.com.au

8th - 11th August Masters Games Thousands of masters-aged competitors from across Australia, Oceania and South East Asia will be taking part in this inaugural event.

www.gbrmg.com.au

Cairns Festival

24th Aug - 1st Sep

Full of events celebrating our region’s colourful character and surroundings. A big kick off to the festival is the Opening Parade along the esplanade followed by fireworks over Trinity Inlet. For all the updates visit www.cairns.qld.gov.au

www.parentingcompanion.com.au

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Gypsy Child It’s something a lot of parents think about – should we be concerned about the chemicals and toxins that our children are exposed to? One local mum took matters into her own hands, going back to the classroom and spending years developing a truly organic skincare range. Q: What made you want to create a range of organic baby skin care? I have always sought a greener and healthier lifestyle for myself, and for my daughter Romany. Then in 2009 I was diagnosed with melanoma, and I guess I did what everyone does after a cancer diagnosis – I became organic! I certainly became a lot more aware of what I was putting into my body. I started thoroughly researching the health benefits of limiting chemicals and toxins and increasing nutrients. Learning about the known carcinogens in current major skincare brands was horrifying and scary, but it was the arrival of my daughter Rumer early last year which really inspired me to make my own organic skincare. Babies have extremely thin skin. At least 60% of whatever you put on your babies will penetrate the skin and enter their bloodstream, coming to rest in their tissue and organs and Rumer was born with very sensitive skin. She also suffered from nappy rash when she was a newborn, and I just couldn’t find any chemical-free nappy balm that would actually work.

I started researching ingredients and homemade organic recipes and experimenting with “cooking” all the ingredients in my kitchen. I would often be sitting at my computer until two am learning how to make my own organic skincare. Q: How has your background/training helped to make this business happen? Once I started digging into the organic skincare processes, it became obvious that I needed some formal training on the subject. I enrolled in a Diploma of Applied Science and Masters of Aromatherapy to gain more scientific and technical information. Q: Was it important to you have your products certified ‘organic’? Absolutely! Having certified organic products provides a guarantee to your customers that what they are purchasing is the real deal. Don’t be fooled by fake organic. Being an eco-smart business was also a priority of mine and I have gone to great lengths to ensure we support fair trade, recycling and the health of the environment.

PHOTO Renee Adams PICTURED My Gypsy Child creator Sacha Maujean with her kids, Romany and Rumer

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Q: The My Gypsy Child website is not just a place to buy your products, its full of info? Yes, we have a lot of information online. I am very passionate about educating mums and protecting babies. I often have a market stall so I can directly chat to parents about the importance of organic baby skincare.

My Gypsy Child range includes Bath Wash and Bum Balm, Massage Oil, Cradle Cap Lotion, Aloe Vera Skin Gel, Insect Repellant, a Kids Shampoo and much more. To see the complete range visit www.mygypsychild.com.au

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We are a local family business who have called Cairns home since 1980

Call Garth or Gwenda WE ‘WILL’ SAVE YOU MONEY

(07) 4051 2532

Mobile: 0417 760 800

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Fax: 4051 2967

cher Teafeature

Sensei Brad Seymour, my Dornan Nominated by local Dad, Jere

WI N

WHO WILL BE OUR NEXT

TEACHER FEATURE? They could be an educator, mentor, coach or day carer. Just by nominating you could WIN one of three $30 itunes cards from Talk to the Mac. PLUS our ‘Teacher Feature’ receives a $50 voucher from Harleys Educational Super Store and morning tea with thanks to The Cheesecake Shop Smithfield & Mulgrave Rd.

Nominate them now! Email your nominations to

win@parentingcompanion.com.au THANKS TO:

PICTURED Finn with Sensei Brad Seymour (second from left) It is really hard to give children their confidence back once they have been a victim of bullying. My wife and I saw our outgoing, fun loving boy turn into a shy, introverted, unhappy little man who refused to look at people and hated playgrounds or anywhere other children would be. He became extremely clingy and fearful of everything. I became stressed. I work FIFO on a 1 x 1 roster, and I had to leave my wife on her own for a week at a time to deal with it all. We have no other family in Cairns and I felt like I was abandoning them. We needed help.

talked about all the time and the children learn how to react to bullying and how to defend themselves if necessary. The classes also teach respect for others as well as yourself – a life skill we can all use. Our son idolises the instructor, Brad Seymour, who has helped my son find his confidence again and I’m not so stressed about going back to work now, knowing my kids have a positive male role model in my place while I am gone.

As a kid, I did I did martial arts and loved it and thought it might give my son the confidence he needed. Our son has been enrolled in Nexus Martial Arts since it opened last year and it was one of the best decisions we have ever made as parents.

Our son is now 5 and has just started Prep. He can still be shy and uncertain in new situations, but we feel he has learnt the skills to deal with these feelings and talk about them. He loves school and his teacher says he is very confident and has no trouble making friends. He loves martial arts and is just about to grade for his yellow belt. He is one of the youngest in the 5-8 year old Panther’s class, but he couldn’t be happier and we couldn’t be prouder. We can’t thank Brad and his team at Nexus Martial arts enough.

Combined Martial Arts is not about kicking and punching the crap out of others. Nexus is about giving each child confidence and the skills needed to believe that they can do something if they try hard and never give up. Bullying is

It is for this reason my wife and I would like to nominate Sensei Brad Seymour for the teacher feature in your magazine. He is a top role model for children. He is very humble and probably wouldn’t even know the impact he has had on our family.

Got a Question?

every Wednesday you can... Just message or post your question on our Facebook page to find out what the locals say. You never know what you'll find out. ASK A LOCAL every Wednesday at

www.facebook.com/ cairnsparentingcompanion Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

WORDS Alex Van Welderen - First Aid Trainer with First Aid Academy (and lover of the outdoors).

ng amFirstpiAid Cand Winter in the Far North is a great time to enjoy the outdoors and head to your favourite camping spot with the kids. I love nothing better than loading up the car with camping gear, food, toys and safety equipment (of course), turning off the phone and heading bush. Cairns is in the unique position that we can be on the reef or in the bush within two hours and there are so many things to see. We have been camping around Cairns for over ten years and, although not experts by any means, we have definitely come across some interesting situations on our travels. Some families with little children tell me they hesitate to go camping, as they feel insecure or vulnerable. ‘Going bush’ usually means being further away from medical facilities than they would like to be. But with a little knowledge and some extra equipment, you can have some of the best camping trips that the whole family will remember forever. Training in First Aid is not only for work

blog

places. It can come in handy for dealing with minor family issues when help is not nearby. Here’s a crash course in camping first aid: Burns – Sitting around the campfire is a unique part of camping, but it can also be an easy place for burn accidents. The quickest way to treat a burn is with some water, but many first aid kids now have burn gels included that will cool with minimal water Scrapes and bumps - ‘Roughing it’ can also be quite rough on the body so treat any scrapes or bumps with some clean water or ice. However, the best idea is to have a small bottle of disinfectant available. Splinters – Make sure you pack some splinter probes which are great for removing the painful splinters you may acquire collecting fire wood. They are also great for dealing with bee stings or the odd fish hook in the finger. Cuts – With kids running through the scrub

and creeks chasing butterflies, any cuts or scratches can be easily fixed with direct pressure, a Wiggles band-aid and a hot chocolate reward for being brave. A first aid kit is a must when camping. A well stocked medium kit will cost about the same as two meals in a restaurant. Include some extra pressure bandages (snakes), a pliable splint (sprains), a pocket resuscitation mask (CPR) and you have a nice unit. Is it all worth it? One of my best moments would have to be lying on a picnic table at Porcupine Gorge near Hughenden stargazing on a clear winter night with my son and daughter either side of me and wifey lying on the bench. That far inland there is no light pollution and the heavens go on forever. While I was pointing out a satellite travelling the sky, a huge shooting star travelled across the sky next to the satellite. Everybody saw it and smiled, cuddled or made wishes. Like the ads say ...”costs a few dollars to get there, but the moment is priceless.”

Follow Kerrie a writer, nurse and first time Mum as she blogs about her pregnancy journey. www.parentingcompanion.com.au

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Saturday 22nd June - Sunday 7th July

MM7155

s y a d i l o School H Lil Scribblers-Art Jams!

The Young Company Come on a Dramatic Adventure with TYC. Participants make lots of new friends and improve their self-confidence, communication and presentation skills, finishing with a performance. Holiday and term programs available for 5yrs – 17yrs. Work shops available from South Cairns through to Northern Beaches.

Come and make a mess at Lil Scribble rs these school holid ays! We host age sp ecific ‘ar t jams’ held at ou r fun and funky art studio for 2 - 12 ye ar olds. Join in the school holiday fun or sign up for the ter m! We also host awesom e bir thday parties! Grab your quality art supplies from us!

Multi-sport Madness! Friday morning 9am until 10:30am

Shop F 463 Mulgrav e Earlville • Ph: 4033 Rd, 0685 www.lilscribblers.c om.au

until 10.30am 9 am2844 ing4032 Friday morn Ph: Cairns Indoor Sports 164 Mayers Street Manunda www.cairnsindoorsports.com.au

20/01/13 9:44 PM

7155 1pp A6.indd 1

169 Bunda St Cairns City

Ph: 4041 4066

164 Mayers Street Ph: 4032 2844 www.cairnsindoorsports.com.au

www.theyoungcompany.com.au

BULLYPROOFING

HAVE A CROC!

The award win ning Hartley’s Crocodile Adventures is a favourite scho ol holiday destination. Se e the daily show s as they feed the crocs, koalas & cassow aries and get out th e snakes! More crocodile experiences w ith the lagoon cruise and a visit to the croc farm.

Captain Cook Highway, Wangetti Beach ph 4055 3576 CA IR NS w w w.crocodile adventures.co m

Build with Lego at Cairns Central WEEK 1

LEGO build sessions 25th-30th June. Space is strictly limited and must be booked prior at the Customer Service Desk. Check out the largest LEGO helicopter in the southern hemisphere “Elvis” the fire fighting helicopter on display. WEEK 2 Face of Cairns Central 2013 Heats Monday 1st July – Friday 5th July Final Saturday 6th July. 1000’s of dollars’ worth of prizes to be won!

Early childhood development th rough age specific mar tial ar ts program s gives your child the ed ge. We specialis e in “Bullyproofing” your child. This program provides unpara lleled confidenc e in the shor test possib le time.

Ph: 4057 7869

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For more info visit www.cairnscentral.com.au

www.parentingcompanion.com.au/events

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Getting the work-life

balance right!

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

WORDS Rebecca and Terry Rooke The work-life integration has a different meaning for each individual. What ‘satisfactory’ means to one person may be interpreted as obsessive-compulsive to another. In order to feel that you have achieved great integration of your own ’work-life balance’, you first need to define what that means to you. What are you trying to achieve? What do you want more of? What are you lacking? Work-life integration revolves around the understanding that you are doing the best you can most of the time. This comes with the recognition that everything in life is achievable with compromise. Let’s break it down in theory. What makes your work place different? If you are re-entering the work force, or you are already working - are you happy or unhappy? Why? Why not? • Is your workplace family friendly? • Are your employers flexible with family commitments or study obligations? • Do you work in a supportive, understanding environment? We can all agree that no work place is going to be 100% free of issues, whether it is working relationships, work boundaries, power imbalance or (unfortunately) gender imbalance. We are all subject to these prickly learning curves in our working lives. So how do we make our work spaces happier places to be? First and foremost, make sure you are doing what you love! If you’re not, how can you get to be where you want to be?

Surround your work space with things you admire for inspiration, such as photos of loved ones, mantras, quotes, pictures of beautiful places or a picture of something you desire to keep you focussed on the end goal. Persistence pays off. During those moments of wanting to give up or walk away, think of the balance scale, take a deep breath, centre yourself and continue. If you reach that point of no return (and deep breathing just isn’t going to cut it anymore) think about your options.

heavier, ten percent more unattractive

• Is there room to move into a new position in your company/organisation?

to consider:

and ten thousand dollars poorer! All whilst feeling a burning desire to ’have what she’s having’. However, remember that old saying ’never judge a book by its cover’. You don’t know her life story - she may be unhappy! Life is a compromise. Yes, you can be the fitter, healthier, wealthier, more ‘together’ parent, but at a cost. What are you willing to sacrifice for it? Here are some last minute points • Use technology for good, not evil.

• Do you have any other skills that could be utilized in another job?

Allow it to assist you with work when

Weigh up your options. If you’re not happy, is it worth fighting for? It’s never too late for change. If you are thinking that change is impossible, then you are only letting yourself down.

’down time’ or family time with your

Some days it’s undeniable that there is no separation between work and home life. One day rolls into the next and as the majority of us are time strapped parents, we leave work and come home to work. When does it really ever end? ’Time out’ or ’down time’ is somewhat of a foreign concept in this day and age, but is so important for mental wellbeing. Take at least five minutes from your day to stretch, close your eyes, centre your breathing and be thankful for what you have right now! Remember to never compare yourself to other people. As women, we do it too often. We see a beautiful, ‘together’ woman and immediately feel ten kilos

necessary. Try not to let it invade your partner or children. • Get organised. Get a calendar and plan ahead. This will alleviate last minute pressure so you don’t forget little Steve’s fourth birthday present! • Try and incorporate exercise into daily life. Involve the kids if you can by jogging while they bike ride. Whatever you do, just keep moving! • Learn to say no. • Make sure your life outside of work is fun. • Be true to yourself at work. Practice professionalism and be accountable. On a final note, be settled in the knowing that true perfection doesn’t always exist. There is no right or wrong in the work-life integration model. Never live with regret. Be kind to yourself and ’give it your all’ instead of trying to ’have it all’.

gaming • dining • sport • entertainment 99-105 Anderson St, Manunda | P: 4053 1053 | www.brotherscairns.com

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

A Family Affair

WORDS Kate Wilkinson

Relay for Life is in its twelfth year in Cairns. Over that time, the generous people of this city have donated more than $4,000,000 for cancer research. This year, Cairns Relay for Life organiser, Rachel Wilson, hopes to raise another $550,000 for the cause, maintaining our position as number one in Queensland.

This is achievable with almost 250 teams signed up for the 18 hour walk around Barlow Park on the 22-23 of June. Rachel is excited about the number of teams, more than 50% of which have participated in Relay for life for ten years or more. “It’s about meeting up with friends to celebrate with survivors and remember those who have passed. We see the same people year after year. Younger kids grow up coming to the Relay and then start their own teams. They become our ambassadors.” This is very true for Robin Piccolo and her family. Robin is in her eleventh year of participating in Relay for Life with her daughter and grandson having their own teams. When asked why she participates in PICTURED Kaitlyn, Robin and Alex Piccolo

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Relay for Life, Robin is enthusiastic about the cause and the people she relays with.

“A group of friends started in the first year and had such a great time. I joined them the second year. The cause is fantastic. The money raised goes towards assisting people fighting the battle of their lives, like building the Marylyn Mayo Lodge at Woree.

chance to tick that off while staying up all night and having fun with friends.”

Each year there is a theme for the relay and this year’s is Surf and Sea, covering anything from Gilligan’s Island to King Neptune to Surf Lifesavers. One youth team are planning to be super sharks, while other teams are sticking to tried and true themes like The Wombles and The

“I have been involved in very motivated teams. The awesome team I was with for the first 9 years (under the guidance of Ricky Fazldeen) would have raised close to $100,000 over the time.”

Incredibles.

Robin’s grandson participated in his first Relay at the age of six. “The kids have just as much fun as the adults. I don’t think they really realise the distances they were walking,” she says. Rachel agrees. “This year we have 65 youth teams with students aged from 13 to 17.

It is about supporting those still fighting

There are also a number of community groups who have junior teams. With a lot more community service in the school curriculum, students are jumping at the

show your support.”

Relay for Life can become a lifestyle, having a positive impact on generations. Robin believes that “Relay is a celebration of life for those who have survived cancer. and remembering those who we have lost. I don’t think there is anyone out there who hasn’t been touched by cancer. Together we can find a cure, and have some fun at the same time. If you are not doing Relay this year, come down and have a look and For more information on Relay for Life, have a look at the website www.relayforlife.org.au.

sents...

cil Pre n u o C l a n io g ns Re

Cair

I n Th e

Sunday JUNE 23rd - Grooves in the Park Sunday JULY 21st - Pacific Vibes in the Park Sunday AUGUST 25th - Picnic in the Park FREE fun for the whole family in Fogarty Park with Face Painting, Balloons, & Jumping Castle /OfficialCairnsEsplanade

cairnsesplanade.com.au/home

Relay For Life The Cairns Relay For Life Committee would like to extend an invitation to you to join us as part of the 2013 Cairns Relay For Life opening ceremony. This very important ceremony symbolises the courage survivors and their carers sustain throughout life. If you are a survivor or carer we encourage you to participate by walking the first lap of the Relay and then joining us for High Tea.

When: 22 June, 2013 at 3.00pm Where: Barlow Park How: Register your interest and call the Cancer

Council Queensland Cairns Office on (07) 4047 5500

Celebrate Remember Fight Back! Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

More play, less work in your marriage WORDS Mike Friganiotis - Relationships Australia

So you’re married. You’ve been married for a while now and it’s not as exciting as it once was. What does this mean? If you don’t work at it, will it go bust? Is there another solution? Marriage studies have shown that married couples are happier when they allow themselves time to have fun in their relationship. But as demands on their time pile up, especially when work hours increase, it’s usually the ‘fun’ that doesn’t happen. Research from the University of Denver supports the idea that finding moments to be free of the everyday stresses that besiege us is important. Howard Markman, psychologist and codirector of the university’s Centre for Marital and Family Studies, says, “The more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your partner, the happier the relationship will get over time. The correlation between fun and marital happiness is significant”. This research is supported by psychologist Arthur Aron in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology who found that sharing in new and exciting activities is consistently associated with better relationships. Note that I have said ‘sharing’ – watching TV or using the Internet on your own does NOT build positive connections between a couple. As Les Parrott, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, says, “The thing we’re working for is to have fun, relaxation and enjoyment together.” Researchers are finding that marital interaction is declining. Couples are choosing more and more individual leisure activities. Sometimes this is as a result of gender differences – men and women have different views of what ‘fun’ means. What is important is that couples talk with each other, and explore what the word means to them – play a sport

blog

together, go to the movies together or do the gardening together. Dr. Steve Stephens, in his book Blueprints for a Solid Marriage, writes, “Couples who know how to play and have fun together develop a bond that can carry them through the most difficult of times”. And you can be assured there will be difficult times at some point in your relationship. Stevens goes on to say, “Most couples work too hard to really enjoy their life together. They feel that if they aren’t doing something useful, they are wasting time. If you wait until it is simple or convenient, you might have to wait a long time”. Even King Solomon knew the value of fun. In Ecclesiastes he advised, “Enjoy life with your wife…” So make time for fun! Make some time during the week or on the weekend to relax with your spouse. Try something new together. Stephens says that he and his wife take turns choosing what activity they will share - and neither can say no! Fun activities don’t have to cost a lot. For example, you could take in a sunset on the beach together, learn a new card game, listen to a favourite CD or watch a DVD, walk in the moonlight, write a romantic poem together, cycle together. The activities you could share are only limited by your imagination. Of course, if you have some disposable income, you could do a lot more, like hot air ballooning, white water rafting, bungy jumping, go to a sporting activity, go on a ‘date’ – pretend that it is your first date, and do your best to impress your mate. Now it’s over to you!

The team from the Bentley Park Early Years Centre shares some of their knowledge and expertise of those very important early years in a child’s life. www.parentingcompanion.com.au

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

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Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

AMANDA GALE

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

WORDS Petra Lovey

Free Mission Australia Program, SUPPORTS PARENTS RETURNING TO WORK Many Cairns parents are looking for assistance following recent changes to the Federal Parenting Payments system. According to the latest figures, around 147,000 Australian parents will be affected by the changes which will see sole parents placed on Newstart once their youngest child turns 8 and partnered parents transferred when their youngest child turns 6. Under the changes, people on the Parenting Payment Single who are moved to the Newstart Allowance may receive less as a result. While these payment changes are offset to some extent by other measures (such as the increase in Family Tax Benefits, the “school kids bonus”, the Allowance Supplement and some tax benefits), sole parents – those without earnings – will still receive a reduced amount. The move from Parenting Payments to Newstart also means the obligations of

some recipients will change, depending on their circumstances. Some parents face new participation requirements and responsibilities associated with their payment. Single mum Wendy Gaines said the recent changes have placed a lot of stress on her family budget. “I’m a supply teacher, however between my arthritis and caring for my disabled son, returning to full-time work is not an option,” Wendy said. There is no doubt that for many parents this is a challenging time. That’s why Mission Australia’s Communities for Children service has established the CfC Pathways Family Connect Program; a free service for families living on the south side of Cairns (Woree to Gordonvale and including the Yarrabah Aboriginal Shire Council area), funded by the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs. Family Connect Worker, Selena Johnson said the service provides mentoring, assistance with transport to interviews, access to a computer and

appropriate childcare. “I know many parents have been impacted by the recent changes, but I’m here to help them break down the barriers,” Ms Johnson said. “I can organise workshops to help parents boost their self-esteem, build resilience, explore self-care and learn new skills.” Mission Australia’s Far North Queensland Operations Manager Phil Flint said the Family Connect Program actively creates opportunities to link parents with appropriate services in order to reach their goals, whether that’s linking them with vocation and education training agencies, volunteer organisations or other employment solutions. “The Family Connect program provides a holistic approach to family support,” Mr Flint said. “The program works with families to assist and prepare them for when mum or dad return to the workforce. Our aim is to advocate, support and bridge the gap to lasting relationships between families, community and community agencies. “So whether it’s lending support to single mother’s like Wendy or helping people make the transition into full-time employment, we’re here to lend a helping hand.”

If you would like a referral to this free service contact: Selena Johnson, Family Connect Worker E: johsnonse@missionaustralia.com.au P: (07) 4051 6560

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

The

WORDS Senior Constable Heidi Marek - Cairns District Crime Prevention

POLICEMAN is coming to get YOU! “If you fight with you sister the police will come and take you away.” “See that policeman over there? He is going to come and get you if you don’t sit down.” “Don’t be naughty, or I will call the police.”

bit harder when we initially need to address a fear of police in some children.

I’m sure that if you haven’t made any of these threats yourself, you would have a least heard them. At the time, they may seem like a harmless way to get kids to do as they are told, but what message do they send? As a mother of two and a police officer, I make no claim to having all of the answers when it comes to parenting or raising children, but one thing I am sure of is that encouraging fear of the police may place a child in danger at a time when they most need help.

In one case, she was dealing with a child under five who was being sexually abused by a family member in the home. For months the child refused to speak with police despite numerous different approaches. This made it difficult for police to establish the level of abuse the child had been subjected to and to press charges against the perpetrator. It was later discovered that the child was told that if they spoke to police, the child would be taken away and would never see her mother again.

When I visit local schools, the first thing I tell young children is, “Police don’t arrest little children; our job is to help you. We often help children who are lost or scared or hurt.” But I can guarantee that I will always have one or two children raise their hand when I ask if any of them if they think the police will take them away if they are naughty.

The child was placed in care and years later made a full disclosure to a carer and police, which led to the successful prosecution of the perpetrator. Whilst this is an extreme example, the outcome for the child and time taken for a prosecution perhaps would have been vastly different had the child not been made to fear police.

If your child is a victim of domestic violence, has become lost, fallen victim to sexual abuse or been approached by a stranger in a car, how will police be able to do an effective job if the child is scared of them?

I acknowledge that some children are raised in an environment where parents or other family members are constantly coming to police attention for one reason or another. However, next time you consider the threat of police against a young child, please consider an appropriate alternative; one day your child just might need us.

These are real scenarios that police deal with on a daily basis. Our often, (already) challenging job is made that

I recently spoke to a detective in the Child Protection and Investigation Unit (CPIU) who shared a couple of experiences with me.

In an emergency dial: 000

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

MICHAEL AW

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WI N N ER

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www.thegoodguys.com.au Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

g n i d r a w e R

PICTURED The kids hard at it in the Family Day Care Communal Garden

a caring community

There’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes to ensure your child is given the right environment and guidance in a home day care setting. Family Day Care Cairns has a long-term commitment to quality childcare and education. Since starting in the Cairns community 35 years ago, they now service from Gordonvale and the southern suburbs, to Edge Hill, the beaches and Redlynch Valley, providing quality childcare in home environments. It’s great to hear even after all this time this necessary service has been recognized and awarded. Recently, after a grueling assessment process in which family day care educators within the service and the program as a whole was evaluated, Family Day Care Cairns has

been rated as ‘Exceeding National Quality Standards’ by the ACECQA. The service has not only been recognised for their educational programs and practices, but also for their collaboration between families and the communities. Senior Coordinator of Family Day Care Cairns, Lisa Seymour, believes that one of the key elements for the service is getting the kids, and therefore their families, involved in the community. “One day we took them on a day trip to visit the fire department. We’ve also had the kids involved in fundraising for YAPS animals in need, and now our community garden project is becoming bigger than ever.” The Community Garden Project is a great example of the type of quality

programs the family day care service is all about. The project has seen the family day care kids enjoying yummy, fresh salad at every play session and there are even herbs to take home to share. The program has also been very successful in teaching the kids about sustainable living. “We’ve had worm farms and re-used our plastics for potting. We also set out a challenge for the kids to collect r e-useable or recyclable materials. With every 100 items collected, we planted a new fruit tree. So far we have five trees and the kids are really engaged in the project”, said Lisa. These are just some of the projects that have resulted in this quality childcare service being recognized.

For more information on Family Daycare, call 4032 1259 or visit www.familydaycarecairns.com.au

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

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The

y m m u M

Challenge

After having her first child, Clare-Marie Nielsen decided to leave her job to become a one-income family. CPC will be following Clare as she sets herself a series of challenges to adjust to her new lifestyle. Pictured left - Clare’s Bargains:

Challe nghoep 2

White dress $7 from Babinda Bargain Centre • Blue Dress $10 from Vinnies, Grafton St • Jacket $6 and Top $5 from Babinda Bargain Centre • Skirt $10 from Lifeline, Cairns.

T h e Op S

: Tips for succes sfu l op sho p buy ing 1. Look for classic styles that you know will always look good. Op shops are not places to search for the lates t fashions. 2. Avoid buying things that are not in your size just because they are a good buy or a good label. 3. When looking for that perfect item don’t leave it to the last minute. 4. Don’t forget to look beyond clothes. I have found some great home ware items, jewellery and books at op shops around town.

Follow Clare’s blog at : makedoandmendincairns@wordpress.com or visit www.parentingcompanion.com.au

One of my 2013 New Year resolutions was to buy nothing new between January and July. That has meant no new items for the house, no new gadgets, no new books, no new music, and, most devastatingly, no new clothes.

a feeling that is second-to-none. After all, anyone can look good if they have money to spend, but looking good in op shop clothes requires an eye for a bargain and a willingness to trust your instincts about what suits you.

I love clothes. I love beautiful fabrics. I love experimenting with different styles and finding unique pieces. I love to look good, and ‘dressing for the occasion’. When I decided to cut back on my spending, the idea of not buying a new item of clothing for six months was, unsurprisingly, fairly daunting. But luckily I have a secret weapon up my sleeve - Op Shops.

Recently my neighbour disclosed to me that she has friends who will never shop at op shops. Apparently they find the idea of wearing other people’s old clothes unpleasant, or feel that by wearing clothes bought at op shops they will lose status amongst their friends and peers. To any readers with a similar opinion I say, relax! Op shops don’t display clothes that are unsuitable to sell, and if you’re that bothered about what other people think, don’t tell where you’ve been shopping!

Having never been wealthy, a number of my favourite clothes have been sourced from sales, vintage stores, eBay and op shops. I often buy dresses for special occasions from ‘Love Lucy’ (my favourite store in Cairns. While it is gone from the ‘little blue house’, it is still online), and I regularly pop into my local op shop in Babinda hoping for a new stylish find. Receiving compliments and being able to say that I found the admired item in an op shop at a rock bottom price is

As well as bargains for mums, op shops are great places to find affordable baby and children’s clothes. As we all know, most children’s outfits are outgrown in the blink of an eye and there are frequently great quality, fashionable finds for kids at good prices in the op shops around Cairns.

GIVE YOUR CHILD THE JUMP START THEY DESERVE PHONE 07 4036 8111 PO Box 110E, Earlville Queensland 4870 email tas@tas.qld.edu.au | fax 07 4036 8222 TAS White Rock, Progress Road TAS Kewarra Beach, Poolwood Road

The first year of school sets a vital platform for your child’s future education. When you enrol your child in the TAS Prep Programme, Jump Start, you can be assured they will receive the best possible start to their schooling life. TAS Jump Start provides an enjoyable and nurturing environment with a stimulating curriculum that develops skills and confidence to set your child up for a prosperous TAS education from Jump Start to graduation. Visit www.tas.qld.edu.au or email our Admissions Officer at admissions@tas.qld.edu.au to make an appointment with one of our Early Childhood Specialists.

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Ju mp Start TAS PREP

TAS White Rock Kindy - Year 12 TAS Kewarra Beach Prep - Year 7

Cairns Early Years Centre & Kindergarten We offer free services for all families with young children pre-birth to 8 years old living in South Cairns. The Cairns Early Years Centre is run by The Benevolent Society, Australia’s first charity-Celebrating 200 years. Some activities we are running are: • • • • • • • • •

Drop-in Child Health Clinics Play & Grow playgroups—at a number of family friendly locations. Infant Massage Singing and Rhyming Parenting Programs Play ideas and information for parents Kindergarten (at a very reasonable cost) Connect to Kindergarten programs Toys and reading activities to loan and practice at home

Please contact or drop into our centre for more informationor support T: 07 4034 6800 E: Cairns.EarlyYearsCentre@benevolent.org.au www.earlyyearscentre.org.au

Woree

White Rock Bentley Park Edmonton

We run playgroups in the areas marked on the map... Gordonvale

Cairns Early Years Centre Northern end of Bentley Park College Just off Borrowdale Close via McLaughlin Road Bentley Park Qld 4869

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Ono rglatshseos foKr kids! WORDS Kate Wilkinson

Even though we have five senses, our sense of sight is the one that we rely on more than any other. When children are diagnosed with myopia (short sightedness), parents will do what they can to help them see. While glasses are a viable option, getting a child to keep them on and not lose or break them can be a challenge. Fortunately, optometrists, like those at Bruce Mellick Optometry, have a solution. Orthokeratology, or Ortho-K is a nonsurgical treatment for correcting myopia in which rigid contact lenses are worn at night to gradually reshape the cornea. After a period of time, when the lenses are taken out in the morning, glasses are not needed for the rest of the day. Initially, the optometrist gauges the level of myopia in the patient, and then a corneal topographer is used to map the surface of the eye. Once this is completed, a lens is created to reshape the cornea. According to Bruce Mellick from Bruce Mellick Optometry, there are a number of benefits to Ortho-K for children. The biggest advantage is that the process has been identified as slowing the progression of myopia. The lenses are also worn at night while the patient sleeps. While the patient maintains the process, they will be able to see during the day without glasses, which is of great benefit to those whose prescription

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

changes rapidly and for those who play sport. The process is also non-surgical and completely reversible, unlike laser surgery.

However, Bruce also identified some disadvantages. The fact that the process is not permanent means that the eyes can regress once the lenses are not being worn anymore and therefore, there is a long-term commitment involved. The lenses are also a foreign body in the eye and, in some cases, the body may reject them, and in a small number of cases, the eye shape may not be suitable for the treatment. This process is around half the cost of refractive laser surgery and while the process works great for children, there are no hard and fast age guidelines. The optometrist will assess the childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s maturity and ability to use the lenses. Once the lenses have been made, the patient is taught, with their parents present, how to apply and remove lenses. Once this has been accomplished with relative ease, the lenses are taken home. Ortho-K is just one of the innovative solutions for better sight. The team at Bruce Mellick Optometry are specialists in their field so talk to them on 4051 6795 and find the best options for you, your eyes and your budget, or you can drop in and see them at 187 Abbott Street.

l l

l l l

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

$ $ $ $ $$ $$$$

$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $

Small business in Australia has come a long since the introduction of the GST in July, 2000. We now have online cloud based bookkeeping software which, for the average business owner, represents the ability to have reports at their fingertips whenever they want. With a trained eye, small business owners can prepare budgets, analyse cash flow and track trends in their business. Accountants are realising this and

are starting to move from the more traditional role of number cruncher to that of an advisory or coaching role. One significant area a pro-active

$Accountants $

owner is the minimisation of tax, through tax planning. Tax planning is the process by which

taxable income is estimated by looking and predicting the taxable income at

the end of June, then calculating the tax liability. The business owner then has the ability to put in place tax effective strategies to help legally reduce their tax liability. Some examples of tax effective strategies include: Pre-pay investment loan interest up to 12 months in advance You will need to request this through

your bank. Be aware that your bank will

WORDS Alfio Sciacca (Alfio Sciacca Accountants)

at 9 or 10 months trading in April or May

of the 21st $ Century

accountant can assist an astute business

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

require a period of notice to enable this to go through prior to June 30. Bring forward expenses Try to bring forward any deductions (like the interest payments mentioned above) into the 2012-13 year.

Deferring Income By legally deferring income into 2012-13, you may take advantage of the higher tax-free threshold arising out of the carbon tax package (of course this depends very much on your personal circumstances). Put as much as you can into super Taxpayers will be able to claim a deduction of up to $25000 for contributions to a qualifying super fund. A self-employed person can make the contributions directly. However, an employed person must make contributions via salary sacrifice, which can be organized with the employer. Capital Acquisitions under $6500 Qualifying small business owners can now claim these outright. For example, when purchasing a motor vehicle, the first $5000 of the value can now be claimed immediately. Negative Gearing This occurs when you borrow to invest in an income-producing asset and the cost of borrowing exceeds the returns (income) from that asset. This loss can be used to reduce taxable income and therefore tax liability. It is important to remember that negative gearing is more of an investment tool than a tax saving tool. It is important to remember that you must always seek independent financial advice from your accountant or financial planner before entering into any investment. This article was written for the intention to inform the public, not to advise any particular individual. If you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t done your tax plan for 2013 yet, you still have time to talk with your accountant.

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Dear Dave

My kids recently went on their first trip

As soon as my two kids sit in the backseat of a car together they fight. It does my head in. Any ideas on how to keep them amused and out of each other’s way? Heidi (Mt Sheridan)

alone to stay with the grandparents on their rural acreage with strict instructions not to go on quad bikes. Within 2 days, the kids were riding quad bikes... I’m unsure whether to send them again... What’s your advice? Michelle

G’day Michelle, Let me just slip into my serious face for a second here, Michelle - I recently finished reading an article that stated, ‘quad bikes are the leading cause of death and injury on Australian farms’. That’s scary. But I’m going to remove myself from the judging panel on the grounds that I’m a boy and I’m biased.

Dave DEAR

wa r ner

But just between you and me, Michelle, I’m leaning towards a yes. Yes, you should send them again. Why? Because your kids did what every child does growing up: ignored their parents’ wishes. It’s probably not the first time and it certainly won’t be the last. Quad bikes are exciting and fun and it’s something interesting outside of their normal daily routine. The temptation would have been enormous. It’d be like sending Clive Palmer to an all you can eat buffet and telling him to stick to the salads. Or Mum sending me to NASA with instructions not to use the anti-gravity chamber or drive the flying cars or use the jet packs.

Parenting advice dished out, Dave style!

I’d nod in absolute agreement. And I can guarantee you it wouldn’t take me two days to ignore her wishes, more like two minutes. Sorry, Mum. Dave

102.7 www.radiozinc.com.au 70

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Hi Heidi, This problem, Heidi, is as old as Henry Ford’s first Model T. It may even pre-date that. Kids were probably fighting in their parents’ buggies, coaches and drays well before the combustible engine. My wife, Fleur, backed through our closed front gate because the kids were going nuts in the back seat, and she’d travelled all of 7 metres. Let’s have a look at what might be causing the kids angst, which in turn may be causing these altercations. What’s on your stereo? My mum used to have Willie Nelson on high rotation and, to be honest, that’s enough to make you want to punch someone, anyone. What’s on the back window? Frangipani stickers, perhaps? ‘My Family’ stickers? Again, enough to want to make you punch someone. Let’s look at the car itself. What are you driving? Is it a Volvo? Or a Leyland P76? On second thoughts, it couldn’t be a P76 because you wouldn’t be driving it; you’d be pushing it to the nearest mechanic, or tip. If it’s not related to any of the above, either A) get a ute with 2 dog cages on the back, one for each of them, or B) get yourself a Hollywood style limousine with an electric sliding glass divider between front and back seats - preferably a bulletproof one. Happy travels. Dave

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Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

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Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

Man

! e s u o h e h t t abou

None of the following is representative of the views of Cairns Parenting Companion and for reasons of personal safety the author wishes to remain anonymous. Yep! He’s a bloke and he’s confused.

Jan Brady Sy ndrome By most modern standards we have a large family - seven kids all born within a fifteen year period. But we’ve heard about folks who have seven over ten, or even ten over fourteen! So I guess you could say we took it fairly easy and we’ve always counted ourselves blessed to have such wellbalanced, healthy, happy children. However, it recently dawned on my wife and I that the lead child from what our older children call, the ’second litter’, has more than likely been exposed to treatment that could lead to the infamous middle child crisis, otherwise known as ’Jan Brady Syndrome’. Remember the American family TV sitcom, the Brady Bunch? You know, it’s the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls. The eldest girl, Marsha, was pretty, outgoing and maybe a little vain. The youngest, Cindy, was all curls, a cute lisp and the family dobber. And the middle child, Jan, was kind of ... err ... forgettable. Add to the mix three dopey step brothers who were always getting attention with their crazy, hare-brained

antics and it’s easy to see why Jan got the classic middle child treatment. I think even the writers of the show overlooked her most of the time. That was until she had her chance to shine in an episode about how everyone overlooked her most of the time. To be honest, I don’t really remember the episode and much prefer the episode where Bobby and Greg get locked in Sam the butcher’s meat cooler and Bobby finds out that it’s okay to be smallest kid in the family, especially when he’s able to save himself and his big brother by climbing out the tiny window in the cooler door ... Sorry ... I’m off track. Where was I?

Oh ... the forgotten middle child. The difference between our middle child and the mildly psychotic Jan Brady is that our lad is so laid back he’s complete unfazed by his ’middle-childness’. Maybe that’s a defence mechanism, but it still doesn’t excuse our neglect. He did say recently that he’s never had a ’real’ birthday party of his own, and

that’s mostly true. We have three birthdays within four days in our family so the old ’combined birthday trick’ is a well used ploy. All the same, he reckons he’s not at all hung-up on this situation. In fact, as I write this, our nearly-21-year old-middling boy has got a birthday coming up and he’s keen to throw a bit of a party for himself at home and it sounds like a big one. He’s taken over the seldom used rumpus room down stairs and is building a bar out if old tables, an old single bed, some corrugated iron and hardwood planks. We don’t mind. It looks fantastic and it’s the least we can do to atone for our part in propagating his Jan Brady Syndrome. He’s a great kid and is long overdue for a little of the attention he never sought but thoroughly deserves. And can leave you with a tiny bit if Brady Bunch moralising? Sometimes it’s tough in the middle. Be aware of you middle munchkins and if they do happen to slip under the radar, it’s never too late to make it up to them - especially if they have latent bar-making skills.

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Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

s ’ a m d n a Gr

s k c i r T f Bag o

Estelle, mother of 6, grandma to 18, great-grandmother to 9 with one on the way, shares some of her best tips for making life a little easier! FOR THE HOUSE:

FOR YOUR HEALTH:

FOR THE LAUNDRY:

If something is broken fix it – we throw

Winter is cold and flu season - when you’re

away too many things. If you no longer

feeling under the weather try honey,

need something always look to donate,

lemon and ginger tea. If congested, at

sell or repurpose.

bedtime rub Vicks on you the soles of your

Place a cup of vinegar in the washing machine to soften the wash as well as cleaning the machine and ridding it of soap scum.

feet (or Eukybear on the kids) and put on

FOR STAINS:

some socks. And get as much rest as you

To remove rust - a good squeeze of lemon juice, a teaspoon of salt and rub it into the rust stain, place into the sun for an hour then wash it clean.

FOR THE KITCHEN: Fritters are one of the best ways to use leftovers. Simply dice the leftovers then mix with an egg, some plain flour and a little

can. Do not over do it, the housework will still be there when you recover.

milk until it is a thick pancake consistency.

FOR PESTS:

Shallow fry until golden brown.

Nits are something almost every parent

FOR THE CAREER:

FOR THE GARDEN:

will have to deal with at one time or another. Mix 1 cup vinegar, 2 teaspoons

If you love what you do for a living, you will never work again.

tea tree oil and 1 tablespoon of shampoo.

FOR THE KIDS:

On dry hair, saturate with this mix, cover

Really take the time to enjoy your children now (even all the noise), because soon they will grow, they will move out and the silence is deafening.

Don’t discard the water after cooking pasta, potatoes or vegetables, save it, let cool then use on your garden or

with a shower cap or plastic wrap and

pot plants.

leave for approximately half an hour before washing out as per usual.

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Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013

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THU: FRI: SAT:

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Creche (while Mum works out) 9.00am each day Kinda Gym Tues and Thurs 9.30am

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FOR THE MUMS AND DADS!!!

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YMCA Marlin Coast Recreation Centre Lesuire Park Rd. Smtihfield P. 4057 7507 e. cairns@ymca.org.au www.cairns.ymca.org.au

Winter 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion

Cairns Parenting Companion Winter 2013