// THE
JOY YUCK CLUB
THE ULTIMATE BRA REVIEW THE ADVENTURE HANDBOOK + MORE
editor in chief & designer
//
contributors
//
photographers //
aasha purling daisy williams mitchell willocks vanessa gillam sean byster-bowles michelle pham bridie o’sullivan dane marley jack leonard abbey hindle joel wilson dylan holmes james fitchett
epic thanks to Glen & the Brasserie staff, and all of the beautiful BUSA gang x
THE PRODIGAL SCOPE HAS RETURNED. AFTER A SHORT HIATUS TO THE ONLINE CLOUD, WE DECIDED WE MISSED HER TOO MUCH SO SHE’S BACK, BUT AS YOU’RE ABOUT TO DISCOVER GOING OFF THE GRID CAN ONLY MEAN GOOD THINGS. SHE’S CUT OFF ALL HER HAIR, PICKED UP A NOMADIC TWANG AND SAYS THINGS LIKE “ALAS” BUT YOU CAN’T HELP BUT BE DRAWN TO HER ELUSIVE NATURE. FOR ALL YOU NEWBIES, SCOPE IS THE PUBLICATION PRINTED BY BUSA - THE BIG DOG ON CAMPUS, I LIKE TO THINK - WHERE WE EXPLORE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A BONDIE. OUR CAMPUS CULTURE IS BORN AND BRED HERE, AND MORE OFTEN THAN NOT IT’S WHERE WE SHARE THOSE DRUNKEN PHOTOS WITH THE REST OF YOUR COHORT. AS PER POLICY PROMISE, WE TURNED SCOPE ONLINE AND THAT WILL REMAIN THE CASE. WE’LL UPLOAD THE BEST PIECES FROM EACH ISSUE INTO THE STRATOSPHERE, BUT EXPECT TO SEE SCOPE EVERY FORTNIGHT - WE’LL LET YOU KNOW WHERE. WE’VE GOT SOME CRACKING PIECES TO SHARE WITH YOU THIS ISSUE, BUT I’M A FAN OF THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE SO YOU’LL HAVE TO KEEP READING. XO, AASHA
MIGRATION SEMINAR / all international students All International Students thinking of moving to Australia? if you answered ‘yes’ this seminar is for you! The CDC invites all international students to attend the semester 1 migration seminar. Don’t miss the opportunity to hear from a qualified Migration Agent on migration requirements and details on Visas. WEEK 4: MONDAY 9th FEB 12-1PM CDC SEMINAR ROOM (9_1_07)
CAREERS MASTER CLASS / making the most of your postgrad studies Strategies to elevate your position within your chosen industry, How to sell your high level of knowledge and skills and perfect your sales pitch. WEEK 4: TUESDAY 10th FEB 12-1PM AND TUESDAY 11TH FEB 6-7PM CDC SEMINAR ROOM (9_1_07)
INTERVIEW SUCCESS AND PROFESSIONALISM Learn tips on how to be successful at interview. Lots of do’s and don’t and basic interview techniques to assist you in securing that opportunity. Also, learn ways to demonstrate professionalism in the workplace whether you are a part time student employee or preparing for a fulltime position after graduation. WEEK 4: WEDNESDAY 11th FEB 12-1PM AND WED 11TH FEB 6-7PM CDC SEMINAR ROOM (9_1_07)
01
THANKYOUS
/ contributors list
02
ED'S LETTER
/ aasha
07
OPINION ED
WHY KANYE’S A DICK / daisy williams
09
FEATURE THE ADVENTURE HANDBOOK / vanessa gillam
15 FEATURE
ULTIMATE BRA REVIEW /
21
19
BIRDMAN / sean byster-bowles
busa
ARTS
ACADEMICS
13 CULTURE THE JOY YUCK CLUB / michelle pham
YOU’RE HERE; NOW WHAT? / mitchell willocks
22 THE GOSS
TABITHA’S TWO CENTS / anon
25 SOCIAL
EVENT PHOTOS
/ thirsty thursday x 2 / CSOD / LVT 151
With a net worth of $130 million, 21 million albums sold and 66 million downloads, he’s the man you love to hate or hate to love. by // daisy williams
This self-described God is one of the most controversial celebrities who either leaves you screaming ‘Praise Yeezus’ or wanting to Runaway (apologises for the weak reference). Yeezus This man oozes confidence, which is only an asset. Look the Beatles famously said they were ‘Better than Jesus’ and now with the same attitude, Kanye is working with Paul McCartney. Cocky, self-righteous or arrogant, call him any of them but his connection to holy spirits has only done holy things. Except not so godly, is his performance on Sway in the morning. Youtube it when your down and see that smug look wipe right off his face. Even Jesus can throw down beats sicker than that, check out John 3:16. So not godly. Stronger Stronger was every ones early high school jam. We all wanted those dumb coloured glasses with the bars over them. Everyone was dancing with his or her crush at the school dance to this, super hypo off Fanta. And everyone had pre learnt the rap so hopefully they could impress said crush enough to earn a awkward hook up behind the gym. Although many believed this song ruined Daft Punk’s Harder Better Faster Stronger. This dance tune didn’t need Kanyes ‘insightful ‘ lyrics like “Well I’d do anything for a blonde dyke” over it. Also anyone who is skeptical about this search ‘Daft Punk Hands’ on youtube and understand that simplicity is bliss.
VMA 2009 Incident Take that Taylor Swift you basic. And his point was honestly correct. Beyonce had one of the best video clips of all time! Every middle age lady knows the Single Lady dance. But rest assure as I support Kanye on this issue, there’s some 16 year old somewhere with 10k insta followers in her uggs and yoga gear screaming “DON’T TALK SHIT ABOUT TAY TAY #tayforhottest100”. TSwizzle did handle it oh so graciously when that man-monster ruined her moment. Also ‘You Belong With Me’ was adorable and gave me so many neighbourrelationship goals <3 Kimye His gal has the best booty in the world and any man who can get Kimi K to *kinda* change her last name must be some kind of god, some may say… Yeezus. SIDENOTE: I basically put North-West through college with my spending on her app. Go to hell Willow Pape. But despite the above we must remember Kim is an over-paid pornstar whose sister and Bruce Jenner is like 10x hotter then her. She also was a wardrobe cleaner for Paris Hilton, which will haunt her for eternity. "ThE" selfie SO MUCH SHADE! If I could look that sassy I would die a happy chick. But if I could also afford a super bowl ticket I’d look a bit chummier. Tickets cost upwards from $4,000. Smile you dick. That Beck Moment Honestly who even is Beck. Kanye shows loyalty to his BFF power couple once again and gives every lonely soul watching the Grammy’s a huge lol. It also seems like a cool little personal joke between super famous people that us commoners now are ‘in’ on. But for argument sake, Grammys is the highest nod a musician can
get, it is like the Oscars of the music industry. Majority of the Oscar nominees aren’t the greatest box office hits, but the ones who make quality, unique and exceptional movies. Let’s bring respectability back to the Grammys instead of making it a joke of who can wear the most ridiculous cake looking dress (cough cough Riri) or trash Justin Bieber’s house at the after’s. Kanyes reaction is like Adam Sandler’s getting up when Boyhood wins the Oscar and saying it should be Mall Cop 2. Underdog Unlike his boo, Kanye worked his way to the top coming from an under privileged family in Chicago. Dropping out of art school to pursue his music career, failing many times and rarely being taken seriously to now being one of the most successful artist of all time. But then again no one likes a rapper who doesn’t have a killer backstory, and there are many more who came from so much less and achieved so much more. Eminem was ridiculed his whole life and now has a movie about it, Biggie came from nothing and now is one of the only artist to hit ‘diamond’ status and Jay-Z grew up in the slums of Brooklyn and now has the train line there named after him. Kanye is the blandest success story of his competitors. Best friends Jay-Z and Beyonce aka power couple of the world are Kanye’s friends. I would give my first born to even breathe the same air as those gems and Kanye has them on speed dial for brunch. If people that superior to us plebs like him, why can’t us peasants? However Katy Perry, Pink, Amber Rose, Stephen Colbert, Britney Spears, Lily Allen, Solange, 50 cent, Mariah Carey, Chris Brown and Deadmau5 have all publically expressed their disgust towards Kanye. Next time you think you enjoy him, remember Obama even described him as an asshole.
I live for those days that indulge your sense of worldliness. by // vanessa gillam
Youre drawn outdoors, to an examined existence and the wilderness. Mum used to call them out ‘Mental Health Days’. Back then, it was an excuse for retail therapy on a school day, but these days they’ve just become my great escape. A Houdini-esque hiatus is sometimes exactly what the doctor ordered. Take the day, life off the grid and exist in blissful ignorance of the tutorials you’re leaving behind. Chase palm trees, find that far-flung place and quiet your mind. Choose your own adventure; leave your shoes and your responsibilities at the door. Days like these aren’t meant to be spent indoors.
5AM
Embrace your adventurous side and bathe in the morning light of Mt Warningâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blessed sunset. After a hike through the tropical rainforest and an encounters with the native animals as they begin to awaken, be prepared to finish the journey with a rock climb to the top. Consume the picturesque panorama from the Gold Coast to Byron Bay; the walk may have been a struggle but it was nowhere near as bad as your in-class quiz would have been. Take a deep breath, feel your troubles escape your drumming mind and indulge in the ultimate insta-pano.
After this workout you’re sure to be feeling a bit peckish so why not indulge in a professionals cooking? Sure you could go for the healthy option of vegan granola soaked in almond milk, but it’s your day off so why not sink your teeth into buttermilk pancakes, fresh berries and whipped cream… For the foodies who like a bit of excitement venture to some place new or for those who don’t like to be disappointed stick with the local goodies- Paddock Bakery, BSKT or ELK Espresso. Dream about the future with a stroll around Sanctuary Cove. Looking at houses you can’t afford may motivate you to actually go to class tomorrow. Submit to your inner interior designer and take mental pictures of your future home. Maybe one day when you’re a hotshot lawyer you can afford the multi-million dollar mansion… Or more realistically you can just keep dreaming. The water’s edge and boutique shops provide plenty of entertainment- make sure you take a special visit to Sanctuary Cove Chocolates for a delectable range of sweets! The Hinterland is the Gold Coast’s hidden paradise. Mount Tambourine is filled with quaint treasures just waiting to be discovered. The perfect destination for a blissful afternoon- the mountain is even home to glow-worms all year round! With different caves to explore, the worm community light up to dazzle their visitors. If witnessing a natural phenomenon isn’t your taste Mount Tambourine also caters for raging alcoholics/wine enthusiasts. Take a trip up to the top of the mountain to visit MT Brewery where you can enjoy a selection of fine crafted beers while soaking up the charming atmosphere in the beer garden. If you feel like your life is lacking a bit of class why not book a spontaneous wine tour? Grab some friends to vineyard hop and get more intoxicated after every stop- but if it’s on fine wine it’s classy right? For those busy souls, dinner can become a daily eat and run affair of microwave meals between study. After a day of adventure opt for an early meal of fish and chips on the Burleigh headland. Let the waves wash away your worries as you devour your fried goodies in utter bliss. Take an hour to soak up the serenity that is evidently lacking from the hustle and bustle of your everyday life. Tanned beach babes tend to ride the waves around this time so you also have the added bonus of eye candy while you feast. We all love escaping from reality into the fantasy world of movies. But the regular cinema is too mediocre for a spontaneous day off. If you’re a fan of the old school retro vibe the drive in cinema has exactly what you need. The only cinema where you can chat without offending your neighbours, wear your pajamas and watch the screen from the back of a ute! Tune your radio in- Christian Grey is about to come to town but try not to get too frisky in the back seat!
The weekend is the perfect time to visit the booming markets. The Gold Coast is filled with something for everyone. For the fashion fanatics the Village Markets (alternating locations between Burleigh and Paradise Point) offer everything from local boho chic fashions to organic and vegan refreshments. The Carrara Markets also stock fashion pieces, local fruit & veg, trinkets galore and have buskers for your entertainment. The Broadbeach Art and Craft Markets are also worth a squiz with over 150 stalls selling quirky items. Markets give you a chance to meet like-minded locals and are always an enjoyable morning out with friends. Springbrook National Park is a World Heritage listed area and if this doesn’t tempt you to visit, one look at the beautiful rainforest online will. A picture may say a thousand words, but a photograph of this phenomenal natural wonder simply cannot do it justice. Here the Natural Bridge attracts people from all over the world, astounding visitors with its breathtaking waterfalls, dark caves and tropical rainforests. Tune into your zen zone- bring a picnic rug and a camera so you can sit back in awe, capture the moment and fully appreciate heaven on earth.
IF YOU’RE AN ADRENALINE JUNKIE THEN SPENDING YOUR DAY OFF RACING A GOKART IS THE PERFECT OPTION! DODGEM CARS MAY HAVE BEEN THE FIRST STEP AS A YOUNG HIPSTER BUT NOW YOU CAN UPGRADE TO THE REAL RACETRACK. ENJOY OUTDOOR AND INDOOR TRACKS AS YOU RACE WITH YOUR FRIENDS AGAINST THE CLOCK.
MIAMI MARKETTA IS FOR THOSE WITH AN INTERNATIONAL PALETTE. ENJOY A GERMAN SAUSAGE OR A MEXICAN ENCHILADA, SIP A COCKTAIL OR HAVE A BEER WHILE YOU CHAT WITH FRIENDS. THIS MARKET OFFERS A UNIQUE AMBIENCE LIKE NO OTHER, WITH FAIRY LIGHTS DANCING IN THE LANEWAYS AS LIVE MUSIC FILLS THE DINING HALL. THE DESSERT BAR IS TO DIE FOR- TAKE YOUR TASTE BUDS TO ITALY WITH GELATO OR ENJOY THE CRÈME DE LA CRÈME OF FRENCH SWEETS IN A MACAROON. OR IF YOU PREFER SIMPLE CUISINE TRY THE STRAWBERRIES COATED IN CHOCOLATE- A LOCAL’S FAVOURITE! SATURDAY NIGHT DINNER IS SORTED WITH THIS GLOBAL STREET FOOD SENSATION!
With deep, dark alleyways and basements that hide their second children, Asian families hold secrets close to their chests. Some secrets protect themselves, but others protect the rest of the world knowing what kind of voodoo shit they’re up to. We asked resident Asian Mich Pham to share wish us these 11 secret herbs and spices that put KFC to shame. by // michelle pham & jack leonard
1. Black fungus Dried black fungus in spring rolls is actually delicious and adds an extra crunch 2. Cloud ear fungus In my opnion, not as nice as black fungus (LOL) because its texture is more slippery than crunchy. Cloud fungus is used in stir fries and sometimes soups, it’s kind of tasteless, and does have much more going for it than its exotic sounding name. 3. Rock sugar not the mash-up band, this Asian delight is actually cooked sugar cane, produced as odd shaped lumps of sugar it si commonly used in marinades and sauces. 4. BEAN CURD not bean crud, actually tofu and therefore a meat substitute. Bean curd can be fried, steamed, baked or fermented (a.k.a. Chinese cheese). 5. BAMBOO SHOOTS Not exclusively reserved for pandas’ humans eat them too, used in Vietnamese stir fries, Bamboo shoots are a popular low calorie spring vegetable, there are also a number of Filipino and Thai dishes where it is the main ingredient. 6. SESAME OIL This stuff is the fucking shit, it can make a dish go from try-hard-white-person-endeavoring-to-be-asian to full blown authentic. 7. BALUT EGG not really an ingredient, more of a dish...it’s basically boiling a fertilised duck egg then eating the baby duck when it’s cooked, tastes great with a bit of salt and pepper. A hit with vegetarians feeling guilty about eating full grown animals but seeking a protein hit. 8. OYSTER SAUCE nowadays not really made with oyster, but white people don’t know that, great for flavouring noodle stir fries and meats such as beef and chicken, also found in most dumpling fillings. 9. AGAR This is the stuff you use in science experiments but without the bacteria growing on it... can be flavoured and coloured, my mum makes a really nice coffee/coconut one, it’s kind of like a hard jelly 8. DAIKON Asian radish, usually shredded and pickled to be served in Vietnamese Banh Mi, but can be used in anything from soups to stir fries to salads. 10. DURIAN fucking stinks, you either love it or you hate it. 11. MUNG BEANS we really need to work on more succulent sounding names, can be eaten whole or as a paste, sweet or savoury, a very versatile legume. When the Mung bean grows they become bean sprouts!
here at BUSA, we tackle the big issues.
With a long-running history as the worst University cafeteria of all time, the Bra has always copped a bad rep. Whether it was insects or a bout of food poisoning, it’s sort of come with the territory. Word on the street, however, is that the primary place of residence had cleaned up their act. Our mission started with 20 meals and 4 hungry little caterpillars determined to find out for themselves. Here’s the verdict. by / a.purling, j. howe, d.marley, b’osullivan & j. mcgrath
The Mission We set out to sample the majority of the meals on the notorious Brasserie menu. Our reviews, and our star rating is set relative to the type of restaurant, and it’s serving capacity. We’d like to thank Glen Harding and the staff at the Brasserie for allowing us to sample and give our opinions on the menu - we love you! Here is the verdict.
ONE
roasted capsicum The roasted capsicum dish was well presented and colourful on the dish. The dish consisted of a capsicum stuffed with sweet potato, mushroom and sundried tomato with pesto cream sauce. The flavours were equally as balanced with creamy, spicy and nutty notes.
TWO
butter chicken The butter chicken consisted of a generous dish of chicken and rice with a pappadum to divide the two. The curry was a little watery and the sauce could have had a little more kick. The rice was average but quite edible. On the whole; it was a reasonably balanced meal.
THREE
kofta korma curry The Kofta delivered on expectations. It was slightly spicy with a nutty tone.
FOUR
chicken burger This is as close as you can get to the Colonel, whilst remaining on campus. The burger consisted of a juicy, tender chicken strip with lettuce, tomato and mayo. All reviewers enjoyed this burger immensely.
FIVE
moroccan lamb This was regarded as the best item on the menu by all reviews. The dish consisted of tender lamb strips, apple and date cous cous, roasted capsicum, spinach onion and rocket with balsamic dressing. The different flavours meshed well and complemented each other. We think the salad, at this price point, is something even off-campus students would consider spending â&#x20AC;&#x153;real-moneyâ&#x20AC;? on.
SIX
haloumi salad The dish consisted of slow roasted tomatoes and a Greek salad, topped with olives and a lemon dressing. We generally agreed the Haloumi was a bit squeaky, but the salad underneath brought the overall score of the dish up. The tomatoes were the highlight.
SEVEN
vegetarian burger The patty in the burger consisted of spinach and ricotta, placed between a lightly toasted bun with lettuce, tomato, cucumber and caramelised onions. The chef is not sparing on the fillings, and this gave the burger considerable substance.
EIGHT
naan bread The naan bread was not well received. It was dry and lacked flavour. The general consensus was to avoid the naan, although it could be used to compliment other dishes.
NINE
nachos The nachos are a good in-between meal for when you cannot decide between a snack or a full meal. The nachos came with a generous amount of beans and chips; however our only unanimous criticism was to change the type of cheese.
TEN
chilli bean poutine We universally disliked the Chilli Bean Poutine. Despite our top review for the hot chips, the poutine mixture destroyed everything good about the bra chips. Whilst we’re not critical of poutine as a dish, we’d like to see a traditional hot chip, gravy and curdled cheese poutine hit the menu.
ELEVEN
chicken parmigiana The chicken parmigiana is a staple of any pub or restaurant. The execution of this dish was generally enjoyed. It consisted of a chicken patty, topped with chilli beans and melted cheese. We’d love to see the further exploration of the parmiagana, with a larger variety of toppings (such as pineapple, ham or avocado).
TWELVE
trio of dips The dipping platter came with 2 dips and an assortment of Turkish bread. We enjoyed the flavour and texture of both dips, and there was plenty of dip supplied in proportion to the bread. The bread tasted fresh and complimented the dips well.
THIRTEEN wedges
You simply cannot improve on the wedges! Generous serving size. Perfect temperature, texture and flavour. A universal favourite for a reason - nailed it.
FOURTEEN
garlic bread The garlic bread delivers on what it sets out to achieve. Our garlic bread was a little soggy for our liking, and should have been toasted slightly more. Otherwise, a strong garlic butter flavour that is overall quite satisfying.
FIFTEEN pizza
We all felt the brassiere can improve on its pizza. The pizza was not fresh and the base was very doughy. The whole meal didn’t taste fresh and was edible, however not as enjoyable as some of the other items on the menu.
SIXTEEN
pumpkin ravioli The pumpkin ravioli, being a relatively new addition to the menu, was judged as a hit. The ravioli had a great flavour too it, and there was plenty of perfectly cooked pumpkin amongst the dish to compliment. The carbonara sauce was nicely flavoured and balanced the sweetness of the pumpkin.
SEVENTEEN
spinach & feta pide The presentation of the spinach & feta pide was average at best. The flavours also were not exceptional and the pide was a bit sloppy. We advise exercising caution in ordering this item.
EIGHTEEN
angus beef burger The Angus Burger contained a variety of ingredients and a large patty of beef. Unfortunately, the beef patty itself was a little bit of a let down. The burger wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t particularly juicy, and lacked a fresh flavour. An improvement on the quality of the patty would see this dish become a much higher rated item.
NINETEEN
battered flathead The battered flathead was a fairly balanced meal with two strips of fish, chips and a fresh salad. The fish was quite nice, but a little bit dry. The portion size of the meal was generous, and overall the meal was reasonable.
TWENTY
miso broth The Miso broth contained an array of different vegetables and noodles. The dish was quite colourful and what you would expect in a Miso soup. The meal was nice overall, however the note of soy sauce was a little strong.
Conclusion Overall, we were generally satisfied with the quality of the food. Apart from some individual food items we highlighted in the review, we think there is something in the menu to suit most appetites. Having consideration to the volume of food that is produced out of the one kitchen, we were happy with the efficiency of the operation and the quality of service. 10/10 would visit. Thanks again to Glen & the Bra staff!
by / mitchell willocks
Most students begin university with the ultimate goal of finishing their studies as soon as possible, graduating, finding any job in order to fund life, retiring with enough money to survive and then dying. There is a fundamental problem with this concept that many donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t realize until it is far too late. Falling into a career for the rest of your existence may never bring you true happiness if you fail to find your life's purpose. Whilst studying at university, it is a prime time to define this purpose as we are often untethered from fixed commitments such as marriage, children and non-governmental financial debt. These life tethers create a situation where experimenting with defining what will make you happy in your life becomes virtually impossible. No pressure, but, how will you figure out what work will truly make you happy in the prime opportunity of youth? The following is a summary of some of the most prominent changes that can be made to more easily bring your passion into scope. Open your mind and your options Becoming psychologically stuck in the path you were forced to choose in High School may be your undoing. We are all asked before we are even eligible to vote, changing your mind is not to be seen as a failure. It would be a serious failure to allow yourself to be pressured into spending your life in a career path which you do not enjoy. Read, a lot Read anything and everything available to you. Discover what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re interested in by reading of other professionals experiences. Additionally, you know that article your teacher just printed and distributed to the class that you have no intention to read? I guarantee you that the worst performing exam answer will be based upon its content. Be smart, read everything. Utilize the resources at your disposal Being enrolled in an institution such as a university avails you access to more library texts than you can shake a stick at and literally millions of online scholarly content. When you become interested in a new topic, simply search the library for a book and discover what journal articles are available to immerse yourself in. After all, knowing everything about a topic or profession can assist you in either growing your passion for it or ruling it out from contention. In addition to academic resources, universities often have expert career advice freely available. At Bond University you can access the services of the Career Development Centre which can offer you help with your CV/Resume to interview skill assessments and the organization of work experience.
Get out in the field So you want to be a Lawyer, an Architect, a Psychologist, a Film Director or even an Actuary? You can easily contact people you know or simply cold call the relevant local corporations that may be able to allow you to shadow an employee in your chosen profession for a set period of time. This is an excellent way to prepare yourself for what you may experience in internships and clarkships later in your degree. Again, the CDC is also an excellent resource on campus to organize work experience and internships. Network I can not emphasize enough how important networking is. There are just over seven billion people on this planet so I can assure you that the level of what you know will not always be your ace in the hole when applying for a graduate position. Who you know can be almost as equally as important in most industries. The simplest way to get started when you begin your university studies is to join LinkedIn, comprehensively setup your professional profile and connect with those who you do already know. Following this, you can attend internal and external networking events that are industry specific in order to meet and connect with the professionals who may be assessing you for a position one day. Additionally, don't forget to connect with all your peers in your classes. You may not see any benefit in networking with those in the same position as you initially. However, the new connections that they make are viewable to you and you are then able to request introductions to professionals of interest to you. Sometimes all you need is a a few seconds of crazy motivation to set your life on a path that will serve you. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re feeling stuck or frustrated with employment or graduation prospects, give these a gander; what colour is your parachute / the 7 habits of highly effective people / the joker / markus zusaks / the spectacular now / the road / cormac mccarthy / into the wild /
Be a "teachers pet" This concept is often discouraged in High School as students may not yet be ready to stand on their own two feet with confidence. However, High School is over and you'll find that the professionals that educate you often run business externally to their university positions and are well networked. Ultimately, this concept in adult life is to simply be kind and proactive to all those around you. Educators are regularly asked to recommend high performing students to their contacts and your name may come up for a position whilst your still studying if you demonstrate your ability to achieve highly both academically and socially. Life is a journey that has no standard manual, and therefore many people flail through it like a fish out of water. The most successful people in the world find their path quickly, diversify their knowledge and are highly adaptable. My hope is that you will take heed of the advice provided here and be able to set yourself up to make the most of your time at Bond University and find your purpose in life, whatever that may be.
O
nly very rarely does a film appear that is so thoroughly original that it serves as a refreshing, ‘punch-inthe-face-with-Listerine’ reminder of what cinema can be. Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) is an exploratory dark-comedy co-written, directed and produced by filmmaker, Alejandro Gonzalez Illrritu. Starring Michael Keaton as the flailing Hollywood has-been Riggan Thompson, the film follows Thompson’s search for artistic legitimacy and respect through the production of a Broadway adaptation, all the while haunted by his former fame as the superhero Birdman. What becomes instantly apparent from the film’s outset is the audacious cinematographic style. Most of Illrritu’s hilariously dark, beautifully psychological, rule-bending film plays out in a seemingly continuous sequence, with shots prowling through the St James theatre as Thomson scrambles to salvage the imminent wreckage of his production. From the film’s onset – where Riggan is shown meditating in his dressing room, levitating above the floorboards – the film creates a constant air of the unexpected. The unpredictable, impossible flow of filming creates a captivatingly live sense of action, while the highly fragmented sense of reality adapts the dramatic mania of the production with the surrealistic mania of the protagonist. All the while, the film’s score is driven almost entirely by discordant jazz drumming, rising and falling in tempo to heighten the intensity on screen. Yet this film is not a piece of empty showmanship, more a film about empty showmanship. Throughout the film, Riggan is haunted by his aspirations of fame and esteem, and the slow realisation that the two are nothing alike. Riggan stalks the set in search of the artistic legitimacy that will save his
career, all the while shadowed by the malicious characterisation of his own diminishing fame and self-doubt. Yet despite his character’s overwhelming insecurity, he also delivers a sharp wit and dark humour to the role. Keaton’s performance in this is exemplary, and part of his brilliance is no-doubt supported by the direction of his own career. While casting an actor whose career peaked decades earlier as a costumed super-hero, to play a character whose career peaked decades earlier as a costumed super-hero is audacious, Keaton brings a tremendous authenticity to the role. However his peers also bring their own flavour to the film: Edward Norton as the intense, demanding co-star; Naomi Watts and Andrea Risenborough as ambitious actresses riddled with insecurities; and a refined Zach Galafianakis as Riggan’s friend, lawyer and manager. However, Emma Stone’s performance as Riggan’s onceneglected, drug-abusing daughter Sam is by far the strongest supporting role of the film, and well deserving of the Academy Award nomination. Her stinging monologue that perforates Riggan’s ostentations is delivered like a pile driver, however it is her momentary glint of sadness and regret in the silence that follows that truly reverberates. Illrritu’s Birdman is a cinematic tour-de-force and a bold exploration of creative insecurity, depression and anxiety. The unpredictable turn of filmmaking, realism and surrealism, dark humour and powerful characters creates a complex film that at first seems impossible to exist in the modern world of film. However, long after the credits lingers the disbelief that such a powerfully intricate yet fantastically surreal film could be delivered so effectively.
I Tinder-matched with a guy who’s in three of my law tutes ... Should I approach him in class or pretend like I don’t even know him? From, He’s No Justice Kirby x Dear Kirby J, Message him in class. Be suggestive. If he looks keen then you’re in, if he gives you weird looks then he sucks. And transfer tutes.
I gave this guy my number last week at Dons and he still hasn’t texted me.... should I move on ??? From, Drunk Dialer x
Dear Drunk Dialer, no. he prooobbbaaabbbly (definitely) isn’t. soz.
Boys only want me for mybody, how can I make them like me for me? From, Prawn x
Dear Prawn, Stop wearing revealing clothes .. and maybe work on your personality.
I invited this guy from Griffith over to The Reserve and we went swimming and got a bit nasty… can you get pregnant for having sex in a spa? From, Water Baby x Dear Water Baby, No. Did you even do sex ed? This is lucky for you because obviously having a baby to a Griffith student would lower your social class. Probably transfer now. AND get yourself checked out.
Help me!!!!! There is a really cute guy who always eats at Papryus and we always stare at each other... How do I get the courage to talk to him??? what if he thinks I’m weird???? from, Lovestruck Loser x Dear Lovestruck Loser, I would recommend that you spill your coffee on him in an attempt to strike up a conversation and then tell him how cute his eyes are.
I got caught having sex in the Library one too many times and now I’m on probation.. Can I be thrown out and send back to my home country? From, Exhibitionism Isn’t A Crime x Dear Exhibition Isn’t A Crime, Exhibitionism is fun, intriguing and can be a welcomed study break (Am I right?). If anyone tries to bring down your fun, you tell them to get absolutely fucked and stop being a shitty prude.
A guy in my lecture saw me stalking him on Facebook... Should I add him or just never attend my lecture again? From, Caught Redhanded x
Dear Caught Redhanded, Honestly CR, the best thing to do is own it. Add him on facebook, and talk to him about your class! Easiest way to pick up. If all else fails, just throw your pen at him.
I slept with my ex-boyfriend’s best friend… Help! From, Scandal City x Dear Scandal City, WAS HE HOT? If yes, then nothing to worry about. If not.. just don’t tell anyone.
I went home with a Fresher from Don’s one Thursday night ... and the next morning, EVERYONE knew about it! First problem, how do rebuild my reputation? But what’s worse is that I actually like him… how can get him to date me? From, Underage Rager x
Dear Underage Rager, Clearly this is your reputation. If you go home with less than two different guys a week then that is when you need to worry about whether people will like you. But my advice would be to have some Shooter’s Juice this Thursday and jump on the first thing with a pulse. If he’s not keen on dating you then, he obviously doesn’t appreciate you for who you are and he isn’t worth it.
I’m obsessed with the rugby boys. I hide behind the training sheds with a tub of ben and jerry’s and watch them at training.. Do you think I should stop this behaviour or ask one of them on a date? From, WAG In Waiting x Dear WAG In Waiting, There are three things I can guarantee guys don’t like, 1. Weirdo’s, 2. Freaks and 3. Girls who eat too much ice cream. You’re doing all 3 and you really need to stop.
If you or someone you know has real or faux problems, send us a tip-off to tabitha@busa.com.au for some real answers. All questions are fictitious but will remain anonymous.