Lament of a Most-Popular BNOC Anonymous Disclaimer: This piece is not for the easily offended or self-centred human. If you are a member of said species, read at your own peril. This BNOC will not be responsible for any broken hearts or bruised egos. Imagine it is early 2020: you have just left high school and are ready to begin your journey to independence. You’ve been excited about this for years, working hard to obtain the perfect grades in order to expand your knowledge at your dream university. You get accepted, you convince your parents to let you go abroad, and you spend hours on Pinterest designing your dorm room. Then, suddenly, a global pandemic paralyses your plans and forces you to stay home. Now, almost two years and the majority of your degree later, you’re still studying online, with the monotony of Zoom calls looming over you for the foreseeable future. This is not how you imagined your university life playing out. Greetings, dear reader. Let me introduce myself: I am a BNOC – A Basic Nuisance Off-Campus (yes, because I have so much originality). Like a certain Lady W, I find myself compelled to speak out for the most underrepresented group on-campus, or rather off-campus (no, it is not those Albany folks). I am here today to share with you the perils 72
faced by offshore students. Now you may be wondering, dear reader, what on earth an offshore student even is? Another species that is being added to UWA’s biodiversity, perhaps? And by goodness, we might as well be – even the UWA peacocks receive better treatment than us! It’s time to stand up for what’s right, so without further ado, follow this BNOC on a journey through the wonder and whimsy of offshore student life at UWA! UWA Management: The Wolf of Stirling Highway If you weren’t able to catch the sunset right before your city went into lockdown, fret not! Our beloved Vice-Chancellor, Amit Chakma, was kind enough to photograph it for us (check it out on his Twitter account @ ProfChakma). What a privilege it must be, for the only sunsets we’ve been chasing are Zoom backgrounds. We should applaud the ViceChancellor for his commitment to living his best life and managing to achieve work-life balance. However, one must ask – can we say
I’d like to thank my parents, my dog, the Harvey Estuary, and Rolld
