Anonymous

Lament of a Most-Popular BNOC

anonyMouS

Disclaimer: This piece is not for the easily offended or self-centred human. If you are a member of said species, read at your own peril. This BNOC will not be responsible for any broken hearts or bruised egos.

Imagine it is early 2020: you have just left high school and are ready to begin your journey to independence. You’ve been excited about this for years, working hard to obtain the perfect grades in order to expand your knowledge at your dream university. You get accepted, you convince your parents to let you go abroad, and you spend hours on Pinterest designing your dorm room. Then, suddenly, a global pandemic paralyses your plans and forces you to stay home. Now, almost two years and the majority of your degree later, you’re still studying online, with the monotony of Zoom calls looming over you for the foreseeable future. This is not how you imagined your university life playing out.

Greetings, dear reader. Let me introduce myself: I am a BNOC – A Basic Nuisance Off-Campus (yes, because I have so much originality). Like a certain Lady W, I find myself compelled to speak out for the most underrepresented group on-campus, or rather off-campus (no, it is not those Albany folks). I am here today to share with you the perils faced by offshore students. Now you may be wondering, dear reader, what on earth an offshore student even is? Another species that is being added to UWA’s biodiversity, perhaps? And by goodness, we might as well be – even the UWA peacocks receive better treatment than us! It’s time to stand up for what’s right, so without further ado, follow this BNOC on a journey through the wonder and whimsy of offshore student life at UWA!

UWA Management: The Wolf of Stirling Highway

If you weren’t able to catch the sunset right before your city went into lockdown, fret not! Our beloved Vice-Chancellor, Amit Chakma, was kind enough to photograph it for us (check it out on his Twitter account @ ProfChakma). What a privilege it must be, for the only sunsets we’ve been chasing are Zoom backgrounds. We should applaud the ViceChancellor for his commitment to living his best life and managing to achieve work-life balance. However, one must ask – can we say

the same for his management of UWA?

Professor Chakma has inherited a $70 million deficit, according to university management. The university is unhappy, staff are unhappy, students are unhappy – but as long as the ViceChancellor gets to run after sunsets and live a #blessed life, I guess all is well in Chakmaland!

I admire Professor Chakma’s dedication in becoming rich (his current pay is reportedly around $700 000). Yet, in only one year, he has revealed the University’s plans to cut 300-400 jobs, boot majors, and fire academics. With all of this slashing, readers may imagine that mercy is being shown to offshore students with regards to their fees, but really, think about it logically dears – why would University management show mercy to his cash cows?

Just for kicks, let’s do the equations (very, very approximately). His annual pay could account for around about-ish: • A year’s worth of tuition for twenty international students or 100 domestic students • A year’s salary for eight academics/ administrative staff • The purchase of 1000 Peacocks

Shouting Into the Void

Settle down, settle down, this BNOC sees all sides of the story. We cannot blame Professor Chakma for everything that goes wrong (no matter how much we’re inclined to). You, dear reader, are at fault too! Ask yourself: have you ever spared a thought for offshore students? Nine out of ten offshore students have faced mental health deterioration due to online learning. Some Unit Coordinators (UCs) have mistreated offshore students, neglecting to provide online tutorials, and sometimes, even forgetting that we exist! This author knows personally of a student whose emails were answered with radio silence from a UC, who, when they eventually replied, told their offshore pupil that they had “forgotten” them over the break.

Now, I don’t want to hear anyone crying “but we can’t do anything about that!” You are fighting so hard for the social sciences (rightfully so), but where is this gusto when thousands of students are being ripped off in Chakmaland? We have been isolated for sixteen months, are more than $80k out of pocket for a sub-par educational experience, and yet no one is advocating for us. This begs the question – does anyone at UWA even care?

The ball is now in your court…

Hopefully, you know what an offshore student is now. So, I’ll answer the next question which has undoubtedly formed in your mind: “What can I do to help offshore students?” We are really not asking for much. We just want you to understand that we’re not the bad guys here. Really, it’s that simple. Your ignorance, coupled with the University’s administrative power fuels the discrimination and isolation that offshore students face daily.

If the plight of offshore students does not move you emotionally (fair enough, sometimes this BNOC finds that peacocks are indeed better than humans), let me enlighten you on some more selfish reasons to start caring. As offshore students continue to transfer to other universities and defer, UWA loses its stream of cash cows. It is the next greatest minds of Western Australia who will pay the price for this (just to clarify, we mean you). Think of all your research opportunities, scholarships, facilities, and the UCs you love so much. You’re losing the social sciences. Do you really want to find out what’s next on Amit’s chuck list?

If you’ve made it this far without your fragile self-importance shattering into a million pieces; congratulations, you might actually have a heart! Chakma and the pandemic have taken so much from everyone, but you have the power to be a decent human being. This author implores you to open your heart to offshore students, just as you would when confessing your repressed desires on UWALL. They say that an investment in your education will pay dividends. We have been paid well in depression, hateful comments, and having to pay for our education cash up front.

This BNOC hopes that you are now woke to the plight of offshore students. Now back to the question, “What can I do to help?” If you know someone who is studying online, check-in with them, be their friend. If you are a part of a university club, consider organizing a few online events – if we can do online yoga and Zoom weddings, surely an online speed friending wouldn’t be too much of an effort? Take a page out of the International Student Department’s book and consider recruiting a few offshore students onto your committees. If you are part of the Student Guild, ask yourself whether you have lobbied for the interests of offshore students. This author has seen many sad aspects of humanity, but here’s hoping that there is a flicker of kindness in the brightest minds of tomorrow.

Yours truly, The most popular BNOC