Today's Woman October 2011 by Today's Transitions

OCTOBER 2011

Fighting

Breast Cancer

About This Issue

By Anita oldham

October 2011 articles

Contents

Power I Am Today’s Woman

By Lucy Pritchett

Survival Skills: Joining a Family Business 12 By Jennifer Thompson

Women Who Break the Rules 14 By Marie Bradby

Up Close and Personal: The Queen of Snark 20 By Gioia Patton

19 Things 24

By Anita Oldham

STYLE

I Love My…Bookshelf

By Lucy Pritchett

Be A Rebel

By Wendy Anguiano

A Journey Down the Aisle: Bridesmaids and Bridal Showers 38 By Lauren Williams

WELLNESS 13 Inspirations 42 By Holly Gregor

Fitness Rules

By Kathryn Grundy

Breaking the Rules By Cheryl Stuck

The Hunt for the Perfect Salad By Melissa Donald

Drinking to Get Drunk

By Jennifer Thompson

Breast CanCer supplement 2011

CONNECTIONS 4 Things Not to Miss this Month 55 By Gioia Patton

Keep On

Dancing!

Real or Fake: Fur

By Tiffany White

First Things To Do After The Diagnosis Living with Breast Cancer What Really Helps You Cope Melissa Etheridge Shares Her Battle sponsored by

Breast CanCer supplement

OCtOBer 2 0 1 1

Breast Cancer Supplement after page 60

12 4

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Today’s Woman

Cover On Our

Volume 21 8 Number 10

About This Issue

Breaking These Rules

1. You should work your way up. This woman decided to move to New York City without a job to pursue her dream of fashion design (see page 14).

2. You don’t have time to do everything. This woman is a triathlete, even though she is a mother to teenagers and an attorney (see page 12).

3. Retire and head to relaxation. This woman started a whole new school when she finally had time off work (see page 16).

4. Blend in to your surroundings. These women are fashion renegades (see page 30).

5. Be careful what you say to certain people.

lthough running isn’t one of her favorite forms of exercise, Ami McMullen doesn’t break the rules of good health. The personal trainer uses her blog, Fit with Flash as a way to put others on the right path to meeting their fitness goals and finding the motivation to exercise regularly. But while Ami’s commitment to a healthy lifestyle is strong, she doesn’t mind bending the rules to fit her needs. Find out more about which fitness rules she breaks on page 42. —Tiffany White

This woman asks questions and gets people talking about changing the status quo (see page 18).

6. Breast cancer will stop you. These women find that cancer can be fought with grace, support, and courage (see supplement after page 28). — Anita Oldham

Photo by Chet White Makeup by Isidro Valencia

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Subscriptions are available by sending $18 to the above address for 12 monthly issues. Today’s Woman magazine is published monthly by Zion Publications LLC and distributed free to the people of metropolitan Louisville and Southern Indiana. Circulation 50,000 guaranteed. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Woman magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service. Copyright 2011 by Zion Publications LLC with all rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC.

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Today’s Woman

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Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

2011

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“

I am Today’s Woman I love the idea of finding that diamond in the rough. That one small piece of art or piece of furniture.

Jennifer Gorman

~ president and co-owner of Palazzina in Chenoweth Plaza on Brownsboro Rd.

by Lucy M. Pritchett / Photo: Melissa donald

She is:

A Girl of the South. I like writing thank-you notes by hand, hosting parties, and having a well-styled home. I serve mint juleps at my parties. I have a collection of mint julep cups — pewter and silver — handed down two generations.

She is also:

An interior designer with Palazzina, which in Italian means small palace or villa. My mom, Sheeran Howard King, and I started it in 2006. Our focus is interior design, renovation, and construction. The shop carries gifts, furniture, and accessories with a European flair.

Favorite pieces in the shop:

A pair of antique lawn jockeys from the Saratoga Race Course that we bought at auction in New York. They are dressed in traditional black boots with red riding jackets and caps.

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Places she has lived:

I was in a study abroad program in 1997 and lived for six months in Cairo and six months in Paris. I was studying architecture and interior design. It was very hands on; we visited museums and design firms.

Cairo:

We once had dinner in the desert by the Pyramids. There were tents and fire pits, and it looked just like a movie set. The call to prayer was a beautiful thing to witness. Everyone stopped what they were doing and knelt in prayer. I also remember there were guards with machine guns on every street corner.

Paris:

Dinner at Maxim’s. And on Saturday mornings I would go to the market and buy fresh cherries. Bags full of them. I saved my money and bought two Chanel scarves which I have since had framed as art. They hang in my living room.

Household: Fiancé Andy Stetzler, and German Shepherd mutt, Gracie. Neighborhood: Indian Hills AGE: 36

On her To-Be-Read list: Pet Peeve: Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette.

People who are not prompt.

Loves the smell of:

Herbes des Provence roasted chicken with lemon, roasted Brussels sprouts, a salad with candied pecans and dried cranberries. Served by candlelight.

New books and wallpaper books.

Wears the scent:

Orange Blossom by Jo Malone of London.

Design tip:

Buy one really nice piece rather than a bunch of unimportant things. It is about acquiring key pieces which won’t happen overnight. Buy something you love, not just something to fill a space.

Favorite season:

Fall. I love the food, the fashions, and the crisp air. When I was growing up, my mom made the best Halloween costumes for me and my brother Chris. Ghostbusters, Bert and Ernie, Raggedy Ann and Andy.

An ideal fall meal:

Doesn’t watch:

Designer shows on television. They work with unrealistic budgets and hurry to make the room look complete with unnecessary accessories and nothing of high quality.

Does watch:

American Pickers (on History channel). I love the idea of finding that diamond in the rough. That one small piece of art or piece of furniture. There is a lot you can do with a beautiful piece to bring it back to life.

Favorite cookbook:

The French Laundry by Thomas Keller and Deborah Jones. Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

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Survival Skills: Joining a Family Business

Mimi Hwang

“Traditional values and hard work are good,” she says, “but new things are important too.” Mimi has brought Hwang’s into the Internet age by updating its website and taking over its social media efforts. She also has visions of franchising the lessons taught in JCPS schools and hiring more instructors so they can continue to expand. “We could be a lot bigger than we are now,” she says. “You can’t think of this as your baby. You have to let go to grow.” Mimi acknowledges that letting go can be difficult sometimes because Hwang’s started as a family business, but she’s confident that, since everyone is looking back to the values of respect and self-discipline, it will not lose its sense of tradition no matter how big or small it becomes.

Rule #3: Bring Your Own Flair

photo: Melissa Donald

imi Hwang breaks all the rules of an executive in the martial arts world. At 26, Mimi is the director of operations at Hwang’s Martial Arts — something she says is an anomaly for someone who is her age, her height (short), without any competitive titles, and who is, of course, a woman. She adds that 98 percent of the conventions she goes to are comprised of men. Still, Mimi has been key to seeing her family’s business flourish into having four locations, teaching in 18 Jefferson County Public Schools, and caring for hundreds of kids after school and over the summer. But even though Mimi doesn’t fit the martial arts executive norm, she attributes her survival skills to the very classes she teaches. “The traditional values of taekwondo set me apart from other people,” she says. “It’s completely beyond the kicking and punching — we focus on character-building.”

Rule #1: Embrace Childhood Passions

Hwang’s Martial Arts was founded in 1997 when Mimi and her parents moved to Louisville. Mimi recalls her elementary school days consisting of going to school, coming straight to work and teaching classes, cleaning up, and then going home around 9 p.m. to do homework and go to bed. Despite the long hours, Mimi hasn’t wanted to do anything else. She studied business management at San Jose State University with the idea of building her own school in California, but ultimately she decided to bring her new knowledge back to the family business and back to Louisville. And Mimi’s sense of responsibility toward Louisville has only grown since she has become director of operations. “A lot of people see this as a business, but they don’t see the community side of things,” she says. In addition to teaching in JCPS schools, Hwang’s has adopted four roads through the Adopt-a-Highway program, taught selfdefense at Wayside Christian Mission, volunteered at children’s hospitals, and raised $300,000 for the Crusade for Children since 1997. “We love giving back to the community because the community makes up who we are.”

Rule #2: Tradition and Change Can Coexist

Mimi admits that since coming home from college, she and her father have “fought like crazy” over some decisions even as small as whether or not to charge an enrollment fee, but she has found that there is value in both her father’s traditional ways and her own new ideas.

OCTOBER

2011

by Jennifer Thompson

Mimi’s father won the silver medal in Judo for the Korean National Team in the 1984 Olympics, and she says it’s tough to follow that kind of credential “because you feel like you’re always trying to get out of that shadow.” Mimi instead has found her niche in teaching. Hwang’s runs an afterschool and summer camp, and over the summer, Mimi dedicates herself to 15-hour days of field trips to Squire Boone Caverns and Newport Aquarium, games and arts and crafts, and, of course, taekwondo lessons. “You can be the greatest fighter in the world, but if you can’t teach, you can’t pass on those skills,” she says. Mimi knows kids are more challenging to teach because they have shorter attention spans, so she’s conscious about keeping her lessons fast-paced and active and even making sure her tone of voice changes to keep their attention. “I think in some ways women are better at teaching martial arts,” she continues. “We have the innate ability to teach, nurture, and listen.”

Rule #4: Character Above All

Although Hwang’s doors are open to people of all ages, Mimi’s eyes are always on the next generation. She is saddened when school principals don’t want taekwondo taught in their PE classes because they say it’s “too violent.” On the contrary, Mimi prides Hwang’s on being family-oriented and anti-bullying. “We teach our kids that they can walk around like they’re less than, equal to, or greater than everyone else,” she says. “If you walk like you’re equal to people, bullies are much less likely to pick on you.” Hwang’s gets parents involved by having them report on how well their kids listen, clean up after themselves, and treat their siblings at home on the same page as their taekwondo instructors rate their progress in class. Mimi also uses a system that for every 10 acts of self-discipline a child performs, in or out of the classroom, they get a blue stripe on their belt, and the child with the most blue strips receives a trophy. “It’s important to teach these values at a young age and to have an outside third party reinforcing them,” Mimi says. “The belts stand for different life skills — self-control, self-confidence — so the things they’re learning here spill over into doing well in school, going to church, listening to their parents, and respecting their teachers. We’re not selling a product — we’re shaping future leaders.” Today’s Woman

Dare to Be Great:

Womenwho

Break

You can stay on the beaten path, on the cul-de-sac, in the safe harbor, or you can be bold and find your adventurous self and discover possibilities you never thought existed. Breaking out of the mold are: Courtney Tigue Baxter, a lawyer by day and an international triathlete on weekends; Fhonia Ellis, a clerical worker-turned budding NYC fashion designer and stylist; and Betsy Chandler, founder of a school for mentally disabled children. Courtney Baxter fights for the rules in her job but defies the rules to be her physical best. 14

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Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Woman

the Rules by Marie Bradby/PHOTOS by melissa Donald

By day, Courtney Tigue Baxter, 45, is an attorney in LaGrange prosecuting cases involving sex offenders as an assistant commonwealth attorney in the 12th Judicial Circuit, and working in private practice with her husband Berry Baxter. But outside the office, Courtney, the mother of two teenagers, is a triathlete. In September, Courtney and Berry competed for Team USA in the Amateur Triathlon World Championship in Beijing, China. She had been training for the “2011 ITU Short Course (Olympic Distance) Triathlon,” a 9/10-mile swim, 24.9-mile bike ride, and 10K run, hoping to beat her qualifying time of 2 hours, 35 minutes. “I loved the complete experience of China and racing for Team USA,” said Courtney, who has run in 10 marathons, including three times in the Boston Marathon. “When we got the uniforms, I put mine on. I was honored and excited to meet the people racing for Team USA and the people from all around the world. “I wished we could have taken our children,” said Courtney, whose daughter Hannah, 17, is a senior at Sacred Heart, her high school alma mater; and son Tigue, 14, a freshman at St. X. Courtney received her undergraduate and law degrees from the University of Kentucky, and lives with her family in Crestwood. How did you get involved in triathlons? I started running in college for fitness. Met my husband; he didn’t run, I didn’t ride. I learned to ride, he learned to run. Before we had kids in 1993, we decided to do the Triple Crown, three running races associated with the Derby. That year we also did the 150-mile bike ride from Louisville to Lexington, and the Tom Sawyer Park triathlon. I loved triathlons from the very first minute. It was a great stress release. I’ve been competing steadily since 2000. What was your turning point? I didn’t give up running when I had children. I still ran, biked, and swam to stay in shape. I was running a week after I had my son. I do contract work for the state — prosecute teachers for licensure/misconduct violations. I was so busy (in 2000) that I used all my money before the contract period ended. So I had extra time. I told my husband I was going to get back into competing. I did probably three to four (triathlons) that summer. Where do you get your adventurous/can-do spirit? From my father. He’s deceased. He was an FBI agent, and a paratrooper in the Army. He ran in the ’70s for fitness when others didn’t do it. He was a lifeguard on the beach in Ocean City, Md., which is a rough surf. I think if he were alive today, he would be doing it with me. My mother was a special education teacher. She taught me the value of education. I’m the oldest of four kids. She taught school through her breast cancer. I have LCIS (lobular carcinoma in situ). My oncologist says it’s good that I do all these things. What’s the biggest risk you’ve taken? The biggest risk for me athletically was psychological — doing the zip lines in Costa Rica with my kids on vacation. I am terrified of heights. www.iamtodayswoman.com

In life, I always had a fear of public speaking. But being a public speaker and litigator in the court room was something I had to overcome. Do you ever think about failure? I still have that fear sometimes when I get up to do an opening statement, closings, or get a witness on the stand. I had a victim who had a horrible time getting prepared to testify. I was afraid I would fail getting her ready to testify so we could get a conviction. I’m always second guessing. In sports, even though you put your time in on the road, you always question, ‘Is this the day when I won’t finish?’ You always have that little piece of doubt. What’s your definition of success? I would define success as being able to realize your personal dreams, but be also able to touch and change other people’s lives along the way. Who’s your biggest cheerleader? My husband. So when do you sleep? I am a big sleeper. We are in bed at 10 and usually up by 6:30. I can do anything all day long if I get my rest. What are you most thankful for? My family. I’ve been married to my husband for 21 years. I am very blessed. My children are wonderful — healthy, bright. I am the most thankful for that. What people in history would you want to have dinner with? Nelson Mandela and Kathrine Switzer. (In 1967, Kathrine was the first woman to enter and run in the all-male Boston Marathon.)

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Womenwho

Break

Fhonia (Fa-HONIE) Ellis, 26, defies definition. She’s a fashionista with a pop couture style that she describes as “vintage, sexy, futuristic, edgy, and girly,” an international look that could be a tear sheet straight out of a British fashion magazine. And though the late designer Alexander McQueen is one of her idols, she hasn’t been to Britain. Yet. In May, she moved to New York City, where she works by day as the freelance assistant to the main stylist for BET TV show host Rocsi Diaz, and by night researching, studying, creating. Celebrities, such as Rocsi, Toni Braxton, and Maya have worn clothes pulled from her past collections. But it’s a long haul with little money, in a city full of fashion dreamers, a long way from Village West in Louisville where she grew up. In New York, she doesn’t have internet and often spends her nights from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. in Starbucks, riding the bus home briefly to New Jersey to change clothes, then riding the bus right back to Manhattan to go to her job at BET. She researches world cultures in the library for inspiration, and even offers her services for free at tailor shops in order to increase her sewing skills. “I have a rebel spirit.” At Central, “everybody was into the whole fashion thing. I was always an original person. I wouldn’t buy stuff like what others had on. I would cut up all my clothes, giving my mother hell. I cut it up, painted it, spray painted it. I did a lot of clothes for students. It was crazy.” After high school, she went to Jefferson Community College briefly for business marketing, but couldn’t afford to go to design school, though she hoped to get into Parsons or the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT). “My brother (Anthony Ellis) has pushed me,” Fhonia said. “He said, ‘You don’t stop just because you can’t go to school. I would go talk to the people who work at the school and pick their heads about what they taught the kids in the classes.’” So Fhonia went to orientation at FIT in Indianapolis, trying to enroll and get a scholarship. Though unsuccessful, she picked up the catalog, then went to the campus bookstore and later “craigslist” and purchased the textbooks in order to teach herself. “I have been studying and doing my work like any other college student, but with no university.” She plans to have her first full collection up for order for fall 2011. It’s called, “That Girl Next Door” and will feature 10 pieces priced $150 and under that she will sew herself. It will be available on her website, and, if all goes well, in a few boutiques.

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the

Rules

photo: LaNa Wilson

Dare to Be Great:

What was your turning point? I got laid off at Humana. I wasn’t mad or complaining; that allowed me to move on. That’s not where I wanted to be. I pushed the line and fashion shows in Louisville, then Atlanta, then moved up to NYC. What gave you the courage to do something different? It came to the point where God showed me where I was going to go. Where do you get your adventurous spirit? God. I was scared to move to the left, afraid to move to the right, so I stayed still. I take risks now and don’t think about it. What’s the biggest risk you’ve taken? Moving to New York. People don’t realize what I gave up. BET said we’ll give you this job, but they didn’t pay moving expenses. My brother said, ‘If you don’t get out of here, you’re going to fail.’ My friend said, ‘Maybe you should sell your car.’ So it was either my car or New York. So I sold my car for $5,000. Do you ever think about failure? I’d be lying if I didn’t say yes. But I used to be scared of succeeding. I have no doubt in my mind that I’m going to make it. I am not a quitter. I have come to the point where I want to stop, but I cry it out. I take a hit, get back up, and keep on moving.

What’s your definition of success? Success is not a materialistic thing for me. It’s accomplishing things you never thought you would accomplish. Who are your biggest cheerleaders? My family. My brother. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be doing what I am now. What advice do you have FOR others? Believe in yourself. I couldn’t move for so long because I didn’t believe in myself. When I believed in myself, that’s when I started moving. What are you most thankful for? I am thankful for my struggle because it is definitely making me a stronger person. How much sleep do you get? I’m going on three hours of sleep today. On weekends, I kind of rest for the day. I take naps on my break, on the bus. Where do you get your inspiration? Just going out a lot. I look at people, cars, go to fabric stores, the library. I live in a Hispanic community. I walk up and down the street and see how they live. What people in history would you want to have dinner with? Maya Angelou, Harriet Tubman, and Abraham Lincoln. Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

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Dare to Be Great:

Womenwho

Break

the

Rules What was your turning point? What led me to the school was my 65th birthday and having a talk with myself. I don’t want to put down my friends who play bridge or golf. This was going to be my last chance. I was either going to take it, or there weren’t going to be other opportunities. What gave you the courage to do something different? The courage grew out of frustration, anger, and disappointment. I was angry that there wasn’t anything here for special kids that was of good quality. The anger was greater than the fear of failure. Where did you get your risk-taking spirit? I figured the worst thing that could happen was that I would fail. I read somewhere that someone said, ‘What would you do if you weren’t afraid of failing?’ And I said, well, I want this school. And yes, I’m afraid, but what’s so terrible about failure? It’s worse if you don’t try. Do you ever think about failure? Not for very long. How do you define success? It’s being able to look back on my life and feel that I did the very best I could.

It was just over a year ago when Betsy Chandler turned 65 and qualified for Medicare. She had a choice: she could pamper herself by playing bridge or do something about the lack of top-quality schools for children with mental disabilities. Betsy, a former teacher, social worker, and child advocate, had created several programs for children over the years. But she’d not been able to create the kind of school she wanted for her own son, now 37, who was born with mild mental retardation and physical problems. In August 2010, she realized her dream. The Academy at Saint Andrew’s opened its doors at Saint Andrew’s Episcopal Church in the Highlands on Woodbourne Avenue. It expected to start with six children, but instead enrolled 22, said Betsy, the founding director. This fall, there are 27 children — ages 5 to 15 — full capacity. The Academy is expanding to a second campus in the Mid-City Mall, where they will have an upper-school program. “I wanted there to be something in Louisville that was good in the area of special education,” said Betsy, now 66. “We have good programs for children with learning disabilities. But there wasn’t a program for people who have mental disabilities or for children who may have behavioral issues that make them function below grade level.” The school, which has yet to advertise, has attracted a lot of students with autism. “We’ve got 16 instructors for 27 kids. Some of these kids need one-on-one all day and they get it.” Betsy, a graduate in English from the University of Louisville, is married to William “Bill” Chandler. They have a daughter, 40, who is a lawyer, and three grandchildren.

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What are you most thankful for? I’m thankful that I was born in the USA and that I’ve never had to worry that I wouldn’t have enough food or that I wouldn’t have shelter over my head. I have been blessed in a way that has freed me to do some good things. I can do this because I don’t have to be the primary bread winner. Who’s your biggest cheerleader? My husband. What advice do you have for others? Just go for it, and don’t wait as long as I did. How much sleep do you get? If I get five hours, I feel like, okay, I will be all right today. I don’t sleep very well. There’s always something to do. My brain — I can’t turn it off. What gives you energy? Diet Coke. What people in history would you want to have dinner with? John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton, and Ernest Hemingway. Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

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Think I’m wrong? Bring it on! Mandy Connell

The Queen of Snark By Gioia Patton/photo by Melissa Donald

“I have the opportunity to give my opinion about whatever I want to give my opinion about. And people are there listening and responding to that. I think most people would relish the opportunity to have their voice heard and then get feedback on it. What you don’t realize is that you get negative feedback, and you have to grow a pretty thick skin in this industry.”

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PAGE 22

— talk show host Mandy Connell of 84WHAS Radio

ust days before I interviewed Mandy Connell by phone, I received a press release stating that she’d just been named #6 on America’s Top 10 Local (Radio) Talk Show Hosts. “You know…it’s always fun to be recognized,” Mandy begins at the mention of the accolade, “although at first I thought ‘#6… what’s up with that?” she deadpans. “But I really like a lot of the radio talk show hosts who are above me. So I was kind of like ‘OK…#6, I will take it, because there are quality people in the slots above me, (the closest person to Louisville on that list being in St. Louis).” Mandy’s talk show airs Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to noon on 84WHAS radio. Asked in what way her show differs from the one she had in Fort Myers, Mandy explains: “The Florida show was a little more fast-paced, because we covered a lot more information. Although it was basically the same kind of snarky commentary with phone calls as this show.” Mandy says the reason she enjoys her 84WHAS show much better than the one in Fort Myers is because, “I can get into topics with a lot more depth. I’d describe the difference between my last show and this one as kind of the difference between USA Today newspaper and the New York Times,” she adds. Mandy’s current #6 ranking, combined with her ‘snarky commentary’ remark prompts me to ask if I’d be correct if I labeled her ‘The Queen of Snark.’ “You know…some people work in marble, some people in oils…I work in sarcasm,” she replies matter-of-factly. “It’s the medium that I’m most comfortable in, and I’ve used the phrase ‘snarky commentary’ for about a decade. And now I’m seeing it everywhere,” she continues. “So I’m going to take full credit for the use of the word snarky, as I’ve made it hip again.” The actual story behind Mandy Connell’s metamorphosis from a Delta Airlines flight attendant to successful news radio talk show host reads like a script outline for an Oxygen Channel movie-of-the-week. #1: During a 1996 Hartford, Conn.-to-Palm Beach flight, a bored Mandy picks up the microphone and proceeds to give a blow-by-blow reenactment of the fist fight that had taken place on the same flight the previous week between two passengers, who’d been equally determined to put their briefcases on the same empty seat. Today’s Woman

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#2: After hearing Mandy’s reenactment, a male passenger approaches Mandy with his business card and says: “You’re really funny! You need to be in radio or television.” #3: Because Mandy was then in her mid-twenties and blonde and beautiful, she was often handed business cards from men during flights — which explains why, without looking at the man’s card, she threw it away. #4: One week later on the same flight (now going from Palm Beach to Hartford) the same man walks on the plane — although this time with his wife. Seeing Mandy, he turns to his wife and exclaims: ‘Sally! This is the woman I’ve been talking about!’ #5: The man turns out to be Dick Robinson, owner of the Connecticut School of Broadcasting. At the realization that Robinson “wasn’t just some creepy old man handing me his card,” Mandy accepts a luncheon invitation from the Robinsons, who afterward take Mandy on a tour of Robinson’s school. #6: After Mandy explains ‘I haven’t the money to go to your school,’ Robinson accepts what little money she has to offer and gives her a scholarship for the remainder. #7: Coincidentally, at the same time Mandy meets Dick Robinson, Delta Airlines offered her the choice of seven months voluntary leave rather than being laid off. #8: Mandy takes the leave from the airlines and enters the Connecticut School of Broadcasting with the mindset that if she doesn’t land a radio job after the 10-week course she’ll go back to the airline. #9: Upon graduation, Mandy lands an internship at the news station 970 WIN Radio, Miami, where she learns the (then) brandnew editing system that Clear Channel Communications has just put into all their radio stations. #10: Thanks to newfound editing skills, Mandy then lands another internship, and for the next five years, climbs the ladder within the radio industry by working at various Florida stations as

a producer, programming director (with a three-year break at one point, selling insurance “as the radio pay was so bad!”), before finally hosting her own morning show in Fort Myers for five years. Such is Mandy’s appeal that she brings the floundering Fort Myers station from #8 to #1 in its key demographics. “I think I’m funny. I think I’m ultimately entertaining, and look at things in a way that is slightly off-kilter,” muses Mandy on her success in her field. “And even when I’m talking about issues that are serious, I’ve always used comedy and levity and sarcasm to lighten the mood,” she explains. “I guess I grew up in a family where, if the choice was to laugh or cry, we were going to laugh. I also say the things everybody’s thinking but don’t want to say, so I kind of provide a platform for people where they can look at the radio and go ‘holy crap! I’ve been thinking that for two years and she finally said it!’” When the subject turns to the fact that women are still a minority when it comes to hosting radio talk shows, she sighs, then says: “It’s not even a minority…it’s a speck. It’s still very, very much a male-dominated industry. There are still biases that exist within the industry itself that women can’t do this job. And it’s very frustrating to me. But when I start to get frustrated, I just tell myself that I’m going to make it easier for the next talented young woman who wants to do this job,“ declares Mandy, who is the mother of a 2-year-old daughter, stepmother to two sons, and whose husband was recently hired by the 84WHAS sales division. As to how she handles those call-in listeners who rigorously disagree with her conservative viewpoints, Mandy says: “I’m never mean. I try never to be personally nasty. And I never want people to feel stupid. They say the definition of tact is being told to go to hell and enjoying it.” I then take a moment to reflect on just how much Mandy has achieved professionally in such a relatively short time; although inexplicably, the process results in my suddenly blurting out, “I imagine there being a stitched pillow on a chair in your office with the words ‘Nobody puts baby in a corner!’” “When Francene (Cucinello) passed away in January of 2010, I knew I was faced Thankfully, Mandy reacts to my with one of the biggest decisions of my then 12+ years with 84WHAS,” recalls musings by laughing uproariously, Kelly Carls, director of operations, Clear Channel Radio, Louisville. “How do we before exclaiming: “That is fill the critical 9 a.m. to 12 noon slot? The station’s past success and reputation hilarious…that is soooo true! There meant there was no shortage of candidates. In fact we reviewed over 100 have been so many times where I’ve serious applicants,” Carls mentions by email. “Well into the process, I got just been bowed up and ready to discouraged. I was hearing good, talented people, but no one had yet leapt out go,” bringing to mind an archer and cried, ‘I’m special,’” he continues. “Then, I ran across an application from a with her bow and arrow raised in lady working at a station in Fort Myers, Florida…” firing position. “And that is Enter Florida native Mandy Connell, whose resumé, in addition to having spent awesome…absolutely hilarious!” over 10 years working at various Florida-based news talk radio stations, included So my Patrick Swazye-ish her previous career as a Delta Airlines flight attendant. analogy about Mandy’s spirit Carls recalls how Mandy had summarized her five-and-a-half years as a flight actually hit the nail on the head? attendant. “’Duties included serving bad food to angry people, safety “Absolutely,” she declares still demonstrations, and barf bag disposal,’” sounding amused, “because I’m a fighter and very competitive. And I Mandy’s cover letter to Carls, which she’d purposely sent three weeks after the don’t like to lose. Period.” 84WHAS job was posted, also included the following remark: ‘I figured I’d give

She’s the One

you a few weeks to weed through the bad stuff before I hit you with my stuff.’ “Hooked enough by that point to investigate more,” Carls continues, “I visited the Fort Myers radio station’s website and listened to some of her recent podcasts. And after reviewing about two hours worth of shows I said, ‘That’s it. She’s the one.’”

Gioia Patton is an Arts & Entertainment celebrity profiler and concert reviewer.

OCTOBER

2011

Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

2011

OCTOBER

w e

Happenings, news, celebrations, and tidbits that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month.

ar e1 9y e ar s ol d!

4 3 5

ATTENTION, TODAY’S FAMILIES!

You are going to love this. Today’s Family magazine is starting a new blog and it begins with an exciting 30 days of prize giveaways. Don’t miss it. Go to www.todaysfamilyeveryday.com starting October 5.

Chemo Beanies

Rochelle Fournier and two of her sisters who are both breast cancer survivors were inspired to design beanies for Chemotherapy patients when they learned that one of the biggest challenges they faced was trying to hide the fact that they were suddenly bald. The fabrics for the cover-ups are soft and machine washable. The design in the back is bunched with extra volume to create an allusion of hair. They donate 10 percent of sales to Susan G. Komen. www.chemobeanies.com.

Art Workshops

Illustration By:

KOSAIR CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL HOME 2011 NORTON COMMONS, LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY

Win a House! SUMMER DESIGN GROUP, ARCHITECT

Grand prize is new home in Norton Commons valued at approximately $400,000 and first prize is a Sam Swope BMW and $10,000. To win, you must buy a raffle ticket ($100, only 8000 available) which raises money for the Children’s Hospital Foundation. On November 5 attend a special open house with how-to décor demonstrations from Burdorf’s http:// nortonhealthcare.com/gw or 502.629.KIDS 24

by ANITA Oldham

OCTOBER

2011

Get creative with the Louisville Visual Art Assocation and Speed Art Museum’s adult workshops that are paired with children’s workshops. October 9 — Jewelry making October 16 — Fashion illustration October 23 — Fiber art Details at www.louisvillevisualart.org

FALL FESTIVAL Foxhollow Farms of Crestwood 4th Annual Fall Festival, 12-6pm on October 8. Proceeds from the day-long festivities benefit Maryhurst and Foxhollow Farms Educations Outreach programs. www.foxhollow.com

6 8

(left) Danielle Fournier-Marino, breast cancer survivor (pictured Left), Rochelle Fournier, sister, Michelle Fournier McGoey, sister, Patricia Fournier, mother, AdrienneFlorence, niece/daughter, Angelle Fournier Albright, breast cancer survivor

Orchids Galore! Go and see hundreds of blooming orchids at The Kentucky Orchid Society annual show and sale. When  October 29 (10am-6pm) & October 30 (10am-4pm) Where  Fern Valley Hotel & Conference Center Contact  502.241.3998 or 502.245.8389

Step Out Walk Help Stop Diabetes! October 15 at Waterfront Park, American Diabetes Association. http://main.diabetes. org/stepoutlouisville

Love a Little Scare? Go see DRACULA at Actor’s Theatre. 502.584.1205

7 PAGE 26

things

9? W hy 1

www.iamtodayswoman.com

2011

OCTOBER

PAGE 24

An Author’s Words of Advice

Best-selling author Lisa Yee gave students at Presentation Academy a behind-the-scenes look at the bumpy but wonderful road to becoming a successful writer at a workshop she hosted recently. At a young age, Lisa Yee says she constantly had a book in her hands. Growing up she was afraid to admit that her dream was to become an author: “If you have a dream, you owe it to yourself to at least try. You don’t know if you’re going to make it or not but at least you tried,” Lisa said she always keeps a notebook near to write down ideas. Instead of writing what you know about Lisa said she prefers to write what she wants to know about and see where that takes her. Her advice for aspiring authors is, “Read. Read. Read.” She challenged the attendees to go to a different book aisle. “Read something from a different genre and don’t always read good books. Write everyday if you can.” — Kim Kerby

10 11

Congratulations to the Presentation Academy 2011 Tower Awards for Women Leaders

12 1317

Wine Appreciation Dinners will be held at Turtle Run Winery in Corydon, Ind. — three hours of tasting and tutorials are offered as part of personal enrichment programs at IU Southeast (812.941.2206 or www.ius.edu/noncredit)

Bardstown Bound on October 29

Tricks and treats with an evening of shopping, savings, drinking, eating and entertainment on Bardstown Road.

We already featured him in our Today’s Woman Man issue, but WFPKFM’s Kyle Meredith also received the Non Commercial Music Director of the Year award at the national Triple A conference.

Marlene M. Grissom, Waterfront Development Corporation • Tierra Kavanaugh Turner, CEO TKT & Associates, Inc. • Shirley Willihnganz, Ph.D., Executive Vice President & University Provost University of Louisville • The Honorable Martha Layne Collins, Executive Scholar in Residence, Georgetown College • Cathy Hammond, M.D. & Terry Weiss, M.D., Deer Park Family Doctors • Mary Hanley Ryan (Presentation Class of 1956), Retired Educator

Operation Gratitude

2011 Fall/Winter Scarf Project

To inspire you, 83-year-old Mary Lou Ellison and her sister, 81-year-old Pauline Swanberg, have completed 500 scarves and are still working. Will you make a scarf for the troops? Find information at www.operationgratitude.com or email Elaine Campbell, hebc@sbcglobal.net

Prodigy

Anne Richardson, a 14-year-old Louisville cellist appeared on From the Top, the NPR radio program featuring young classical musicians.

Anne is a ninth grader at St. Francis High School. She studies with Eric Kim at Indiana University and Louise Harris in Louisville.

You know her from Holiday World Commercials. Pat Koch is coming to speak about her philosophy in life — as an Ageless Woman at the Woman’s Foundation of Southern Indiana Celebration event on October 24. Go to www.cfsouthernindiana.com for more details.

16 15 19 18

Yay! Kids Who Start Businesses

Scholarships to be Awarded to Student Entrepreneurs by the National Association of Women Business Owners and the featured speaker will be Heather Howell, C “Tea” O of locally-based Rooibee Red Tea

Kye’s in Jeffersonville, Ind. October 18, 8-10am breakfast program with business expo to follow Contact  www.celebrationofentrepreneurship.org or call 502.625.0248. When 

Where 

OCTOBER

2011

Watch for Today’s Woman 20th Anniversary Issue!

Today’s Girl Essay Contest Winners were just announced. The winners are: Anna Kurk, Emily Schweitzer, and Emma Farnsley Today’s Woman

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your

www.stites.com • 502.587.3400 • Fax 502.387.6391

presents

Professional Connections Calendar Your go-to spot for professional networking and career-building opportunities around Louisville BPW- Business and Professional Women- New Albany Every 3rd Monday • 5:30 p.m. Tucker’s American Favorites 2045 State Street New Albany Sarah Ring 502.550.9503 BPW- Business & Professional Women- River City Every 2nd Wednesday • Noon Lunch and Program noon-1pm University Club 502.499.4420, www.bpwrc.org eWoman Network Every 3rd Thursday • Noon Wildwood Country Club 5000 Bardstown Rd. Angela Reedus 502.592.8244 www.ewomennetwork.com EWI- Executive Women International- Kentuckiana Every 3rd Tuesday • 5:30 p.m. Louis T. Roth & Co. 2100 Gardiner Lane Roberta Brock 502.581.2059 roberta.brock@pnc.com The Heart Link Network Every 1st Wednesday • 6:30 p.m. Inverness at Hurstbourne Condos 1200 Club House Drive Barbara Madore 502.377.8625 www.40222.theheartlinknetwork.com

IAAP- International Association of Administrative ProfessionalsLouisville Every 2nd Thursday • 5 p.m. 4007 Kresge Way, 2nd Floor Paula Kessler 502.495.5116 Paula_Kessler@kyfbins.com www.iaap-louisville.org Legal Secretaries of Louisville Every 3rd Tuesday • 11:30am Bristol Bar & Grille 614 West Main Street Alice Harris 502.595.2310 #339 aharris@louisvilleprosecutor.com www.legalseclou-ky.org MLWPC- Metropolitan Louisville Women’s Political Caucus Every 3rd Thursday • 5:30 p.m. City Cafe 505 West Broadway Angie Wallace akwallace0818@yahoo.com www.mlwpc.org

NAWBO- National Association of Women Business Owners Every 3rd Tuesday info@nawbolouisville.org www.nawbolouisville.org National Association of Women in Construction Every 2nd Monday • 5:30 p.m. Call for meeting location Patty Stewart 812.288.4208 #121 Network Now Every 2nd Friday • 11:45 a.m. Hurstbourne Country Club Lee Ann Lyle 502.836.1422 lee@lalcomputers.com Take It To Fame Network Every 2nd Tuesday • 6-7:30 p.m. Location Varies; check website Sharon Wimberly 502.500.9394 takeittofamenetwork.com WIN- Women in Networking Every 2nd Wednesday • 11:15 a.m. Oxmoor Country Club 9000 Limehouse Lane Monica Jakoby monica@corporatetechsolutions.com

All listings are on a per month basis. To list your meeting free of charge in the calendar, email us your meeting date, time, location, a contact phone number, and website to info@todayspublications.com or fax to 502.327.8861. Deadline for inclusion is five weeks prior to issue date (e.g. June 25 for August issue).

WIN- Women in Networking II Every 3rd Wednesday • 11:30 a.m. Fern Valley Conference Center 2715 Fern Valley Road Kim Fusting 502.267.7066 kimins@bellsouth.net WIN- Women in Networking III Every 2nd Tuesday • 11:30 a.m. Buca di Beppo 2051 South Hurstbourne Pkwy. Laura Morriss 502.599.4917 LMorriss@userinc.com WIN- Women in Networking IV Every 3rd Tuesday • 11:30 a.m. Breckinridge Inn 2800 Breckinridge Lane Lindsey Davis 502.727.9003 info@win4louisville.org Women’s Council of Realtors Every 3rd Thursday • 11:30 a.m. Wildwood Country Club 5000 Bardstown Rd. Kathy McGann 502.552.3090 jshaber@venturetg.com ZONTA- Advancing The Status of Women Every 1st Thursday • 6:00 p.m. Logan’s Steakhouse 5005 Shelbyville Road Joyce Cain 502.339.8682 joyce.cain@insightbb.com

Spotlight On Education Career Goals … The Auerbach School of Occupational Therapy offers an intellectually stimulating, experiential, and innovative masters program. In addition, there are options available for those individuals still seeking a bachelor’s degree. Visit with Laura and learn about the many career options in this in-demand discipline. Dr. Laura Strickland

Chair, Auerbach School of Occupational Therapy

26 28

OCTOBER 2011

Dr. Laura Strickland, Chair, Auerbach School of Occupational Therapy Spalding University • Office: 502-585-9911 ext. 2324 • E-mail: lstrickland@spalding.edu — This is an Advertisement —

TOday’s Today’s WOman Woman

Sponsored by:

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2011

OCTOBER

27 29

OCTOBER

2011

Today’s Woman

I love my

Bookshelves Why this house? Why these bookshelves?

This house, a Cape Cod, reminded me of my grandmother’s house in Nashville. The built-in bookshelves weren’t painted white like in so many homes. Both of my grandmothers had houses with dark wood bookcases. When I came into this room, it seemed so cozy. I could imagine myself here, reading and entertaining. The wood is a deep, cherry finish with paneling behind the shelves and the fireplace. The shelves are adjustable, which is huge for me because I like to change things often. I took out one shelf on each side. There is great storage underneath. I keep my stemware, odd serving pieces, trays, and candlesticks tucked away there.

Describe your treasures.

Connie Roitman 43, use-what-you-have designer with eyedia consignment on Mellwood Avenue Neighborhood: Graymoore-Devondale Household: Husband, Roberto; son, Aaron,14; daughter, Molly, 13; toy poodle, Tango; and Thunderbolt and Peaches, Holland lop rabbits.

On the right of the fireplace, there is a mixture of old books, a pair of brass roosters from the ‘40s, two red Bohemian glass decanters, black plates from the ‘30s, an oil still life of peonies, and an Asian ginger jar. On the left, I have two small, hand-painted etchings of European scenes, an antique silver flower container, more books, three silver mates (mah tees) from Argentina for holding tea which is sipped through the silver straws, and a pair of antique mantel lustres with prisms. Most of the items come from family and travels, or were gifts. Or antique finds.

What are some of your favorites?

I love the antique books that came from my grandmother’s home. The covers are gorgeous. And the bindings. In this grouping, the books were published in the 1850s. I think old books are wonderful.

How often do you change the display?

www.iamtodayswoman.com

Maybe every three months or so. Or when I get an itch to change things. Sometimes I add a few things, take away a few things. Sometimes I start over completely.

By Lucy M. Pritchett Photos by Melissa Donald

I change things, and it gives me a new perspective and helps me feel like I’ve accomplished something. These shelves stay calm and serene, and I look at them and I am happy.

Where do you start?

I start with a couple of things I am attracted to. Like the ginger jar. I like the colors, the bird figures, the movement, the shape. Then I move out from there, paying attention to the size of pieces, texture, colors, balance, and uniformity. On these shelves I have a mix of black, gold, white, and some neutral tones of blue and pink. I hung a little picture right on the back wall of the shelves for some height. I also like a few plants on the shelves. I like the greenery against the dark wood. And I think a little lamp looks lovely.

So there aren’t any rules?

Not at all. People have definite likes and dislikes and they will become more evident as they go along arranging their shelves. Don’t feel like you have to put out something just because your mom always displayed it. The beauty of your accessories is in the eye of the beholder. If it’s yours, and you love it, use it. I like old things, but some people might choose to showcase a collection of Pez containers or Disney figures or model cars. It you are just starting out, shop consignment stores and yard sales for things you like. Don’t limit what you are choosing. Go through those things you thought, ‘I’ll never be able to use that.’ Go ahead and use it. Give yourself lots of space to have fun and design your shelves. It’s not an overnight project. And it is not forever.

2011

OCTOBER

B Re el

Be a

OFFICE RULES “A day off does everyone good.”

— Rachel Rodgers, pictured here, is the executive producer at Word Broadcasting.

Styled by: Wendy Anguiano Photographs by: James Moses

Fashion Do:

Tights or fashionable socks with open toed shoes or heeled sandals!

Location: Louisville Visual Art Association at the Louisville Water Tower Hair & Makeup: Lorie Karnes, Bobby Lardner and Rachel Hagen from Blades Salon & Spa

OCTOBER

2011

Today’s Woman

Rules are meant to be broken. In fashion, that is especially true. Take a look at some fashion rules that you should be breaking.

DON’T: Stealing

company time for personal play! Rachel is wearing: Nicole Miller dress, $330; Robbi & Nikki fur vest, $295; short necklace, $68; long necklace, $73; bracelet, $64; Jessica Simpson shoes, $89 — all available at Dillard’s, 5000 Shelbyville Road, 502.893.4400. Hue tights, $18 Macy’s, 7900 Shelbyville Road, 502.423.300. Ann Taylor earrings, $38.

www.iamtodayswoman.com

2011

OCTOBER

“Breaking the rules keeps life fresh and interesting.” — Sierra Jones, who was a bridesmaid at her friend Lauren’s wedding

WEDDING RULES

Sierra is wearing: Dress,

$130 available at David’s Bridal, 3000 Bardstown Road, 502.459.7061.

Lauren Anquiano recently got married in real life, and her mother-in-law didn’t wear white to the wedding, though she considered it.

“There is a rush one could get from not doing what is expected. Nevertheless, it’s not fun always looking over your shoulder.”

Lauren is wearing: Allure

Bridal Gown, $1800; veil $100; earrings, $100. All available at A Class Act, 201 Breckinridge Lane, 502.897.7744.

— Omenesa Oruma

FASHION DO:

DON’T:

Wedding white is reserved for the bride.

Omenesa is wearing:

Kay Unger New York dress, $506; B-Low the Belt belt, $242; earrings, $110; bracelet, $52 all available at Rodeo Drive, 2212c Holiday Manor Ctr., 502.425.8999. Nina Garima shoes, $129; Kate Laudry purse, $75 — all available at Dillard’s, 5000 Shelbyville Road, 502.893.4400.

Wear white after Labor Day even if it’s not your wedding day!

www.iamtodayswoman.com

2011

OCTOBER

SPORTS RULES DON’T:

Prying parents at sporting events!

“Breaking the rules relieves stress as long as no one gets hurt.” — Mary Pat Sexton, a teacher at Assumption High School, plays fair in her referee position.

FASHION DO: Pattern mixing as long as the colors coordinate!

LynnE is wearing: INC Fur vest, $89.50; Hue tights, $11, all available at Macy’s, 7900 Shelbyville Road, 502.423.300. Francis NY top, $168; Trina Turk shorts, $178; Coequettish Designs, earrings, $88; necklace, $248 all available at Clodhoppers, 3725 Lexington Road, 502.891.0079. Anna and Eva gold chain, $38; charm necklace, $28; leaf necklace, $38; Betsy Johnson shoes, $90 all available at Dillard’s 5000 Shelbyville Road, 502.893.4400.

OCTOBER

2011

“I am okay with breaking the ‘small’ rules,” but Lynne Koch behaves herself at her daughter’s real life field hockey games. “Breaking the rules is fun, because of the risk of getting caught.” — Katie Koch

2011

OctoBER

A Journey Down the Aisle

The Flowers, Decorations, and the Details By Lauren Williams

More than any other wedding planning detail, the invitations have been the biggest (and most down right annoying) task. I had elaborate dreams of DIY wedding invitations, complete with hand stamps, ribbons, and beads. I was at Hobby Lobby and suddenly decided I was over this whole invitation mess. I picked up four boxes of print-at-home invitations and was done with it.

The Flowers

Flowers were one of the first wedding details I focused on. My mom and I met with Jodi Davis of Dixie Florist soon after my engagement. I came with an idea in mind, but not really the right words. I explained that I wanted more plants than flowers, a wildflower feel as opposed to a tailored selection, and tone-on-tone greens with all kinds of textures and sizes. Jodi guided me in choosing a beautiful combination of flowers including Lily Grass, Garden Chrysanthemum, Yellow Buttons, Hydrangea, and Jade roses. Videography: I want the memories, but I don’t care about the fancy professional video with love songs in the background. So, two of my sister’s friends are videotaping the wedding. $20 gas, plus $50 each. Caterer: We had a caterer and drove by one day to see that her store was for lease. Mediterranean chicken on a bed of rice, with seasoned vegetables, southern style stuffed tenderloin, and roasted new potatoes. Jennifer@BakeMyDayKy.com

Bar/Alcohol: We are still undecided about this wedding detail. Most likely, we will buy the alcohol and have two friends serve it, as opposed to hiring a bartender.

Ceremony Location: The Caldwell Chapel, Presbyterian Seminary. A cathedral atmosphere with beautiful blue stained glass behind the altar.

Lauren and Mike are in the midst of their Do-It-Yourself wedding planning.

Decorations I would say my decorations are very minimal, partially due to the cost, and partially because of the rustic look of Mellwood Art Center part of the decorations. The tables, dance floor, and entrance are the most important areas to decorate. For the center of each table, Mike’s dad is cutting what I can best describe as a tree trunk slice. On top of each tree trunk slice will be a few tea light candles and an odd number of mismatched jars with flowers. I am wrapping the columns with white christmas lights and tulle to give off a soft glow around the dance floor. I haven’t decided on the entrance decorations, but I do know I want to use various sizes of round hanging paper lanterns, so maybe that will be a good place to put them. Photography: We chose Sarah Hester to be our photographer, a sweet and bubbly superorganized redhead. SSHphotography.com

DJ: Ed Purcell of Night Owl DJ’s is an old friend of Mike’s. With Ed as our DJ, I have been able to rest assured the reception will run smoothly. NightOwlDjs.com

Honeymoon: St. Lucia, all-inclusive resort Guest Book: One of my bridesmaids, Rachel (also my old roommate) is making my guest book as my wedding gift. Rachel.Mauser@gmail.com Rehearsal Dinner: Cornerstone Cottage, Old Bardstown Road. Cake: Kim Dahl, my sister-in-law, is doing our wedding cake. She’s passionate about cakes, and although this will be her first wedding cake, I trust her. KimJustDesserts@gmail.com

The Dress, Hair, and Makeup OCTOBER

2011

Today’s Woman

The Vein Treatment Center

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Look and feel refreshed in no time. “Because you can see the difference immediately, I can treat one side of the face for my patients to compare it to. It’s highly gratifying to see their reaction!”

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The bare essence of fashion and style, Lindberg eyewear celebrates the Danish-inspired minimalist design in simple, attractive and functional frames. Choose from a wide selection of colors and styles for women, men and children.

NEW FALL MERCHANDISE HAS ARRIVED! We stock Alberto Makali, Frank Lyman, Simon Chang, Dolce Vita, Sao Paulo, Insight, Radzoli, Tru Luxe Jeans, Onex Shoes and much more.

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STYLE CALENDAR October 5 • Wednesday

Olivia & Co. Boutique

Fall Trunk Show – Exclusive designs from New York, Canada & Los Angeles

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October 6, 13, 20 & 27 – Thursdays

Available at www.xlibris.com and other online retailers. 888.795.4274

Sassy Fox Upscale Consignment Join us for Wine and Special 10% off Discounts from 4-8pm. 502.895.3711 Classes available.

Sophie’s Fine Yarn Shoppe Visit, browse, and let us assist you with all your knitting and crocheting needs.

October 1-31

Dr. H. Fred Preuss, Jr. FDA Approved Laser Treatment for Toenail Fungus. Call 812.923.9837

Our shop is conveniently located in the Stonefield Square Shopping Center next to the Fresh Market. Open 7 days with a wide selection of yarn and accessories.

October 1-31 • 502.895.6600

The Vein Treatment Center

Lunch Break Rejuvenation – Return to work glowing! 11am-1pm – Dermal Planing – 50% off

10482 Shelbyville Road 502.244.4927 • www.sophiesfineyarn.com

October 1-31

UofL @ Shelbyhurst Lifelong Learning Learn Something New!

Many more classes to choose from, including 200 online classes!

Valid only on Tuesdays Wednesday& s!

3 Emerging Wine Regions Classes 3 Beginner Pilates begin 3 Cardio Kick-boxing Oct. 3 3 Interior Design Basics 3 Italian I for Travelers 3 Thoroughbred Handicapping Register now at http://uofl.me/smartstyles or call 502.852.6456

CLASSES BEGIN OCTOBER 3

University of Louisville Lifelong Learning Fun and affordable

learning opportunities! Register at http:// uofl.me/smartstyles or call 502.852.6456.

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Inspirations By Holly Gregor / photos by Melissa donald

the journey,’ is my mantra,” “‘Trust says commercial interior designer

and breast cancer survivor Amy Eley. However, seven years ago that mantra was not in Amy’s bag of tools. “The journey just about killed me in 2004. I lost my job, got a divorce, and got cancer,” explains Amy. Her breast cancer was discovered in a random mammogram identifying calcifications. It is Amy’s theory that hormones were the trigger for her cancer. “I don’t have a history of cancer in my family, so we just don’t know what caused it.” During her treatments, Amy’s life was very different. “At the time, you’re just so raw in many ways.” Although she remembers feeling scared, Amy knew she would be all right. However, her world felt very small. All she focused on was survival, income, and the kids. “My radar screen has expanded so much,” says Amy happily. She now has a deeper understanding of herself, her children, and the environment. She also has a newfound strength, compassion, and humility. “The big guy thought I needed a wake-up call,” explains Amy.

Commercial Interior Designer and Cancer Survivor

A smile crosses her face, remembering Amy Eley a funny thing that happened after her treatments were over. “In 2006, the Rolling Stones came to Churchill Downs. Another wake-up call came this past summer when I went with a good friend of mine.” While Amy was invited to her 40 th high school reunion. standing in line at the concert to get a drink, they Her biggest fear was that people would say, ‘Oh, noticed two drunk guys with shaved heads and she’s let herself go.’ She bravely moved through cigarettes stuck behind their ears. “I used to have that and attended the reunion with her best friend. a hairdo like that,” said Amy to one of the guys. “We had so much fun! Nobody cared.” However, “Get out!” he replied. “Why did you have your hair she says, it did spark a new thought about getting like this?” “I didn’t have a choice. I had cancer.” back in shape. “You have to look in the mirror Amy responded. As she walked away, she heard him before you go forward,” says Amy. So now, with yell from 100 yards away, “I’ve never had a piece of help from a personal trainer, Amy is moving cancer ass, but if I did, I would want yours!” forward...looking in the mirror and trusting the journey. 42

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Today’s Woman

13 Things That Inspire Amy: 1. My mantra, “Trust the Journey.” I had it painted on my kitchen wall just to remind myself. 2. My children: Emerson and Grace Eley. Telling them I had cancer was really, really hard. I used a book called Chemo Shark to explain what I was going through. The shark in the book had super x-ray vision and ate cancer cells. The book explains that tummy cells, mouth cells, and hair cells look like cancer cells, so if Mommy has a sore mouth, upset tummy, or loses her hair, you know that Chemo Shark is doing his job. They were so wonderful! They made their beds, emptied the dishwasher, did their chores, and made me tea. 3. Sense of humor. It’s a survivor tool. It keeps me grounded, inspires me everyday and helps me with my kids. It’s a gift. 4. My personal trainer, Mary Hayes. Instead of focusing on goals related to losing pounds, Mary has me focus on staying hydrated, recovering my muscle memory, and getting my endorphins back. 5. Sustainability and LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design): KY USGBC (United States Green Building Council). I am LEED certified and volunteer in this group to educate the world about what LEED is and explain the process. I also love the professionals that I meet in this organization to design in a holistic way. 6. My logo. It’s in a Frank Lloyd Wright-Craftsman style. It was designed by my friend, graphic designer and PRATT graduate, Ralph Bergman. When I first saw it, all I could see in it was a nipple. It’s just where my mind was at the time. It took three months and now it makes me smile. Now I see threads and ribbon. 7. Teaching college at Sullivan College of Technology and Design (SCTD). I have always enjoyed mentoring and teaching. 8. NPR radio. 9. Bernheim Forest. It’s Eden to me. It’s got everything: foliage, water, landscaping, and beautiful sunsets. They have dedicated professionals that walk the talk with the LEED building and getting the word out about sustainability. 10. Oil painting. I paint and give them as gifts. 11. The musical Wicked. There are so many lessons in this play...that’s what I loved! 12. Frank Lloyd Wright, particularly his Fallingwater home. Wright was a designer, an artist. His designs have an Asian mentality. He was a master at propping up ceilings. He used cork floors in the ‘30s and ‘40s....highly sustainable. 13. Seaworld in San Diego. It’s not what I expected. They do search and rescue for animals and the shows are done in the water with mimes and gymnasts co-performing with animals. It ties into my love of arts, children, and animals.

2 1

Fitness

Rules By Kathryn Grundy

Get motivated and stay motivated: changing your perspective on exercise Always seek the advice of your doctor before starting on an exercise program.

inding a lasting source of motivation to get fit and stay fit is easier said than done. An important event like a beach vacation or a wedding may be motivation to shed five pounds in a month, but what will it take to keep channeling that motivation long after we leave the warm weather and white dresses behind? Changing how you view exercise may be the first step to making fitness part of your daily life, says Ami McMullen, a classically trained dancer and certified personal trainer, group fitness, and Matt Pilates instructor. She says that she likes to think of exercise as “moving” rather than “working out” because exercising should be fun. “People don’t like to exercise because they think all it is, is running on a treadmill for an hour,” Ami says. “With classes and with personal training, we just try to make it a fun thing. Working out shouldn’t be horrific; we want it to be part of a daily routine.” Debra Moore, DuPont Manual’s track and cross country coach, who I happened to catch up with moments after she finished an 8K race at the World Masters Track and Field Championship, says that for adults, “It’s important that they find something they love, something they like to play at.” No matter your age or fitness level, ‘playing at fitness’ is an apt mentality for working out.

Discover a New Hobby An exciting aspect of beginning a fitness program is the possibility of discovering something you love. Fortunately, you don’t have to fall in love right away. “The more ways you move your body, the more efficient it’s going to be and the stronger it’s going to get,” says Ami, who also blogs about her fitness and other things at www.fitwithflash.blogspot.com. “Do it all,” is her mantra. “Go try running, go try yoga, go try a zumba class…you know, sometimes it’s fun just to shake your butt,” she says. “You’ve got to find out what you like, take a chance on a class you’ve never done before.” Debra’s heart is set on running, but for adults who aren’t used to aerobic exercise, she stresses the benefits of walking. “Walking is so good for you,” says Debra. “Most people can walk even if they can’t run, so they can start out walking and then run a little and then walk some more.”

Getting started

photo: Melissa Donald

Ami says she breaks the fitness rule of not doing a regimented three-day-a-week strength training program.

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Ami says that beginners can start off strength or cardio training as many as 3 to 4 days a week, but taking a day off in between workouts is imperative. “Your muscle fibers have to rejuvenate, they have to repair themselves, so if you’re not allowing that to happen, you’re going to be really, really sore — which won’t make things enjoyable,” she says. Taking the necessary amount of recovery time is helpful not only in preventing soreness, but also in making sure your exercise habits stick. “For people who are just getting started, try to make it a little fun and don’t worry about how much you do,” Ami recommends. “A lot of people go way too hard and then quit. The most important thing is to get out and move in some sort of way.” We know that getting out and moving doesn’t have to be the worst part of the day. Indeed, the time you devote to fitness can alleviate stress and stimulate natural endorphins. But what about mornings when sleeping would be easier than 6 a.m. boot camp? Ami says that the Nike slogan ‘just do it’ is the perfect philosophy when making hard decisions like these. “I don’t really like running,” she says. “But I do it because I know it’s good for me. Sometimes I have to tell myself: just go to the park and start the loop. As soon as I get started I’m totally fine, I’ve got my playlist in, and afterwards I feel so good.”

Strike a balance How do you make fitness a priority when you have so many other things going on? One way is to involve others in your new choices. “When you’re planning your week, make a commitment to somebody who’s counting on you to go and do it,” suggests Debra. “That way there’s somebody who will say, ‘Hey! Don’t forget, we’re going to meet at the track tonight.’” Join one of the many running clubs in Louisville or sign up for a walking program. “Exercise is not always easy,” says Debra, “but it’s so worth it. Trying to keep a little balance in your life makes you a better person, so you can be there for all the people who count on you.” Kathryn Grundy is a student at Brown University and WAS an intern for Today’s Woman magazine. Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

2011

OCTOBER

Breaking the Rules

By Cheryl Stuck

When it comes to your health, it can be risky to break the rules, but there are times when you just can’t come to terms with what your physician advises. Your physician should be flexible when you express concern regarding the treatment that has been ordered. Things to discuss with your doctor before you choose not to follow his/her advice: • What are the complications if I don’t follow your advice? • Are there any other alternative therapies, lifestyle changes I can try, or herbal remedies I can take? • Can I hold off on this therapy right now and come back (in a specified amount of time) to re-evaluate and look at the numbers again? • I can’t afford the treatment you recommended. Is there a payment plan or a subsidy available? • Are there any clinical trials for my condition?

r. Alexis Karageorge, an internal medicine physician at the newly formed practice, Louisville Concierge Medicine, feels that communication between doctor and patient is important for good health. She said, “I would never recommend not following your doctor’s advice, but if you don’t like your doctor’s advice, or you don’t want to do it — have that discussion…like, ‘I’m fearful of this medicine,’ or ‘I can’t afford the medicine,’ or ‘I don’t like the side effects.’ At least then they may be able to come up with an alternative plan. There are 10 ways to skin a cat and if you talk to 10 different doctors, five will tell you this, two will tell you that, one will tell you something else, and so on. Look at all your options, and if you would like to see another doctor, patients should not be afraid to do that.” Dr. Karageorge also encourages patients to ask the doctor what possible complications could ensue if they don’t follow the recommendations. “I don’t have a crystal ball so I can’t tell you exactly what’s going to happen if you don’t take the medicine, but I will tell you based on my experience and medical literature that if you don’t take care of your diabetes, you will have complications. In the short term you might get dehydrated or nauseous. In the long term you might lose your sight, your kidneys, develop heart disease, have a stroke, etcetera. I’ve seen it happen.” Some patients assume that all medications and remedies found in a health food store are safe. Others assume that if taking a dose of Vitamin C is good for you, then a mega-dose must be better. Not so, said Dr. Karageorge. Taking too much Vitamin C can actually block other vitamins and end up causing health problems. Dr. Karageorge said that many women want to try melatonin for sleep, but warns that it may or may not work and while each pill might have 90 percent melatonin, it’s not FDA regulated, so, “I don’t know what else is in it. I can say it’s probably safe, but can’t tell you with 100 percent certainty.

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What habits do you have that are Agree or disagree: Medicinal marijuana should supposed to be bad for your health? * be available to those with an illness/disease.* 2% Drinking too much alcohol

3% Overeating 12% Other

25% Eating fatty foods

46% Drinking too much caffeine

* 0% of respondents listed smoking as a habit.

9% Disagree

12% Strongly agree

43% Neutral

36% Agree

12% Not exercising * 0% of respondents strongly disagreed.

Advisory group members are: Margie Beeler • Susan Boddy • Christie Bollinger, RN • Sherrice Bond • Kim Broecker • Jennifer Brown • Linda Burry • Kimberly Carpenter, DC • Tamella Buss Cassis, MD • Holly Clark • Stacy Cohen, RN • Diane Collins, RN • Pat Cooke • Funmilayo Dixon • Laurie Duesing • Kelly Davis Fleenor • Tanya Franklin, MD • Julie Garrison, MBA • Carol Graham, MD • Dawn Hayden • Pam Hayden, RN • Mary Haynes • Gretchen Houchin • Mary Jennings • Alexis Karageorge, MD • Dee Jay Kelly • Tomiko Coates Kiefer • Diane Kissel • Kristi Jedlicki Levenhagen • Melissa Little • Sean Maguire, MD • Geri Manning • Lisa Mattingly • David McArthur • Anne McReynolds • Tara Morris • Maria Munoz • Tina Nuttall, MBA, FACHE • Denise Orwick, RPh • Betsy Paulley • Mae Pike • Leesa Richardson, MD • Ticonna Roberts • Cheryl Scanlon • Rhonda Sigler • Burke Stephens • Rebecca Terry, MD • Myrdin Thompson • Deborah Tuggle • Lannette VanderToll • Jessica Walker • Marine Walls • Janie Biagi Watts • Cenia L. Wedekind • Anthony Westmoreland, RPh • Cathi Wiley • Kathy Wilkinson • Debbie Williams • Allison Young, LMT

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2011

Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

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Studies at Duke University found that some non-FDA approved supplements not only vary in chemical content from bottle to bottle from the manufacturer, but also from pill to pill within a bottle. “A lot of patients don’t do what you tell them but as long as I have that discussion with them and they’re honest with me,” she said, “it’s their life and it’s my job as a physician to educate them and tell them what the medical literature says and what the standard of care is. “When it comes to terminal illness, my job is to educate patients on end-of-life issues, navigate them through the medical systems, and make sure they know what scientifically proven evidence-based therapies are available to them. If they choose an alternative therapy, I must remain non-judgmental, and I will stand by them as long as I feel that the therapy is not causing harm.” Not all physicians have that attitude. Karageorge knows that some Louisville physicians will discharge a patient who is noncompliant. For example, “If you don’t take care of your diabetes they will write you off.” In such cases, she said the doctor is required by the Kentucky Medical Association to give the patient a 30-day notice for the end of care. “Some patients won’t restrict their diet and they continue to gain weight. As a result, their diabetes gets out of control and they get complications like retinal hemorrhages in their eyes and they nearly go blind, or they have kidney failure, or coronary artery disease from not taking care of their diabetes. “High blood pressure is a good example because there are no symptoms. Fifty million Americans have hypertension and if it’s not controlled, it can cause a stroke. I’ve had people say, ‘I feel great, doctor. Do I really have to take this medicine?’ And they don’t take their medicine and come back in with a stroke.”

Our Today’s Woman of Wellness Health advisory group talks about breaking rules and ignoring a doctor’s advice or seeking alternative healthcare. “I was given a prescription to some medicine that I didn’t want to take because of side effects. I researched natural alternatives and found something that worked — a natural progesterone cream rather than a synthetic to combat PMS symptoms. Yes, it worked!” Cathi Wiley, Business development for OfficeWare and Independent Consultant for Arbonne

“I injured my knee, and my doctor at the time told me not to exercise. I’m a runner, and that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I got a second opinion from a doctor who I had heard was an avid runner, and as a result, I was able to get into physical therapy and continue running in a pool. It opened up another way to recover and continue my conditioning and at the same time rehab my injury.” Cheryl Scanlon, Wellness Manager at University Hospital

“I received advice that did not suit me or my lifestyle. Ultimately, I found another physician. I think having a physician you are comfortable with and can talk to is important. Ignoring medical advice can be extremely detrimental to your health, so if your doctor is telling you to do something you don’t plan to do, can’t do or can’t afford, it should be discussed. (For example) I use herbal supplements sometimes in conjunction with regular treatments. I let my doctor know that I am using them, and check to make sure there are no interactions with my other medications.” Mary Jennings, Marketing and Public Relations at Clark Memorial Hospital

“Unlike lay people, I don’t always think the doctor knows best. I am an RN with 30-plus years of experience and very research savvy. I listen to their advice, do my own literature search, and make an educated decision. I recommend that to all consumers.” Deborah Tuggle, Clinical nurse specialist at Central Baptist Hospital

“I am from Berkeley, California, where the use of medical marijuana was not only common among those in my community with chronic or terminal illnesses, it was even sanctioned by physicians treating these individuals. One of my dear friends who was dying of breast cancer was advised by her oncologist to smoke marijuana to alleviate her pain. Of course, she had to figure out how to get it, since it was not available at the local 7-Eleven. But she did smoke marijuana, and it did relieve her pain.” Laurie Duesing, part-time Latin Teacher

Next month, our group will discuss stress. 48

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Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

2011

OCTOBER

2011: The Hunt for the Perfect Salad

Patti’s Pear Salad

Story and Photo By Melissa Donald

re you in the mood for something different, something creative, and something that breaks all the typical rules of what one can expect in a leafy, green salad? If so, then stop by Patticakes & Pies Café on East Main Street, New Albany, Ind., for Patti’s amazing Pear Salad. I met up with a group of people for lunch at this quaint and bustling café. Because I had very little to eat for breakfast that morning, I chose to have brunch rather than typical lunch fare. After everyone’s food had arrived, I found that I was the only person out of our group of six who did NOT order a salad. My brunch was fantastic, but I learned a lot that day about some of Patti’s popular menu items…her salads! I marveled at the colorful salad dishes displayed in front of each member of our party. The Nutty Apple, Very Berry, and one of the most intriguing looking salads, Patti’s Pear Salad, were beautifully presented. As we ooohed and aaahed over the salads, I quizzed each person about their salad of choice. Everyone’s answers were short, precise, and to the point. Each said his or her salad was the best, Patti’s salads and dressings were the best, and then resumed eating. Point made. After leaving the café that day, I knew I would have to return later in the year to try Patti’s Pear Salad for myself, when pears are in season. And what I found is that this is an exquisite salad! Arranged beautifully, and full of powerful and complementary flavors, this salad is a must during pear season. Sweet and savory, there is a huge requirement to ordering this salad: You have to LOVE cheese! The pear in this salad is first cored, then sliced, and stuffed with a blend of blue and gorgonzola cheeses, toasted and sweetened pecans, and then drizzled with Patti’s homemade Honey Gorgonzola Cheese Dressing. I was lucky and had a cheesy stuffing that included dried cherries; a nice addition that added some texture, color, and a slight tartness that balanced nicely with the other flavors. The pear was perfectly ripe and fresh, and the bed of greens offered a light texture to this wonderfully filling tower of cheesy heaven. Virtually all of Patti’s salad dressings are homemade and are derived from the same herb and vinegar base. This base is prepared, and then sits for two weeks before being divided and created into each individual homemade dressing. When in season, Patti receives many of her pears from her father’s property. She buys mainly local ingredients. In the summer months, she grows her own vegetables and herbs for the café from her own home garden, and from the small raised beds in the urban-scape garden situated behind the café. Patticakes & Pies Café — 155 E. Main Street, New Albany, IN • www.patticakesandpiescafe.weebly.com Approximate nutritional information without the dressing: Calories - 318; Total Fat -14g; Fiber - 5g; Protein - 8g

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Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

2011

OCTOBER

Drinking to Get Drunk What’s Really Going On at High School Parties By Jennifer Thompson

little bit outside of town, one of the most popular football players of the local high school lives in a big house, and his well-to-do parents have left for a week in Paris. Word passes via text (because social networking sites are too likely to call attention from the police), and soon students ask older siblings and friends to procure alcohol or they’re pulling out IDs (that either have a false age on them or used to belong to someone else entirely) to go into the liquor stores themselves with little fear of being caught. And on Friday night the big, empty house — and perhaps the barn outside or the field nearby — fills with over 100 teenagers whose goal is not just to listen to music, play beer pong, and hang out with friends, but also to consume as much alcohol as possible until they pass out. This could be a scene lifted out of any number of cliché teen movies or television shows, but, for Kelly*, 19, it is the story of a typical weekend with her high school friends. Involvement in underage drinking regardless of moral or ethical opinions, of which there are several is a status offense for children under 18, a misdemeanor for those over 18, and unlawful transaction with a minor in the third degree for those over 21. So if there’s such a rap sheet already stacked against it, why are parties like this so common throughout Louisville and Southern Indiana, and why is no one talking about them?

WHO is drinking? Just as with adults, drinking for teens can serve many purposes — whether to fit in with those around them, enhance a social gathering, or help them cope with emotional stress. The party described above is, in fact, indicative of Kelly’s high school experience. Kelly, now in her sophomore year at IU, says that at her high school she was part of “the popular crowd — the rich kids and pretty girls and football players.” Although Kelly herself did not drink, she felt that if she didn’t go, she wouldn’t ever see her friends and would spend her weekends sitting at home alone. But drinking is not just for the popular and rich teens. Steve*, 23, a graduate of Louisville Male Traditional High School, says that he and his friends were “middle of the road” in both high school popularity and socio*Note: For the privacy of those involved, some names have been changed or omitted from this article.

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WHAT is actually going on? Kelly and Steve both say that the bigger parties were not common in high school. “If you have 100 people at your house, it’s not ‘if’ the party is getting broken up; it’s ‘when,’” Steve says. Major Mark Fox, LMPD, confirms this, as he says that most of the phone calls the police receive about underage drinking come because of large parties that produce parking problems and loud noise that disturbs neighbors. “It’ll start out as a small group, but then it morphs into something huge and gets beyond the control of the host,” Fox says. For this reason, Steve and Kelly both say that their typical gatherings were between five and 10 people. “There weren’t really any parties involved,” Steve says. “We were usually in a basement, and we would just drink and do stupid stuff — which we did anyway, but the drinking made it funnier and stupider. I would always just chill and talk to people I knew, but in college there were usually people smoking cigarettes and weed too.” Kelly, too, says that the purpose of these social gatherings was to get drunk. “Every get-together, it’s just a given that people are going to be drinking — and not just drinking. They’re getting wasted. It’s complete binge drinking, and it’s kind of scary because it’s completely the norm,” she says. “I would never show up by myself because by the time I got there, everyone was always smashed, so you either had to catch up or pretend you were drunk too.” Kelly says that the gatherings often included music, dancing, and drinking games, and social drama also often escalated as inhibitions lowered. “Most of the time it would be arguments, but I’ve seen people fight. Guys would wrestle, but because they were so drunk, they wouldn’t realize how much pain they were causing.” Major Fox says this sort of behavior is a natural consequence of not knowing how to drink responsibly. www.iamtodayswoman.com

WHEN are they drinking? Operation Parent is a local nonprofit organization that provides resources and classes to parents of teenagers. Jean Schumm, director, calls underage drinking an “epidemic” that is occurring as a direct result of absent parents. “With parents working and struggling with their own marriages, kids are looking for that bonding time. When it’s not there, they get bored and start looking for ways to fill the time,” she says. Jill Howard, an Oldham County mom of a 21-year-old recovering addict, agrees. “A lot of children are just bored after school, and (drinking) is an outlet for that boredom,” she says. “Parents are letting their children experiment while they’re not at home, after school before the parents get home — it’s a free-for-all. And it’s happening younger and younger every year.” Jackie Wisman, director of JCPS’s Safe and Drug-free Schools program, says that JCPS has had to develop policies for possession of or being under the influence of alcohol in students even at the elementary school level. “If we feel like there’s a serious problem, they’ll come to the assessment center and meet with a counselor — not a school counselor, but a professional drug and alcohol counselor. We’re more about trying to help them than throw them out of school because we know that won’t solve the problem,” he says. Howard believes that solving the problem starts with curing the boredom. “Get them involved,” Howard says, “for older children especially. They need social responsibilities. Have them get a summer job or volunteer even if it’s not necessary.” Although Kelly’s friends started drinking as early as middle school, Howard’s theory at least holds true for why Kelly refused to participate. “You can’t sleep well and you always feel gross the next day,” she says. “No one goes home until 4 in the morning, so you’d have to sleep until 2 the next day. I had to work and stuff.”

WHERE are the parents? Before the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984, the legal drinking age varied from state to state, meaning that many of today’s parents grew up with the legal drinking age being 18 or 19 in different parts of the country. This, among a vast array of personal beliefs, has created a major disparity in parents’ attitudes toward underage drinking today. Christina*, 20, graduate of Christian Academy of Louisville, says that her father introduced her to wine coolers when she was in high school so she would know the taste and effect of alcohol and be able to handle situations involving alcohol when she got to college. His rule was that she could only have one a night and he had to know about it. Although Christina also often drank to the point of drunkenness at a friend’s house without her parents’ knowledge, she says she values her father’s effort to teach her responsible drinking. “I’m the kind of person who has to experience it for myself to understand,” she says.

…(his) mom came downstairs and said, ‘I don’t really care that you’re drinking, but don’t let anyone drive.’

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They’re getting wasted. It’s complete binge drinking, and it’s kind of scary because it’s completely the norm.

“Inexperienced consumers of alcohol — no matter what their age — are dangerous,” he says. “You don’t know how you’re going to act. And when you’re a teenager, those emotions are already heightened.”

economic class, but alcohol was also a favorite weekend pastime because it made their regular hangout time “funnier” and “looser.” The “unpopular” crowd also finds reason to experiment with alcohol. Anna Gryce is an Oldham County mom of a 17-year-old who is now a recovering drug and alcohol addict. “He’s really kind of a shy kid,” Gryce says of her son. “He didn’t participate in sports or academic clubs, but when he started smoking and doing marijuana, people paid attention to him and he was popular.” Gryce says that teens today are usually more aware of alcohol’s effect on their performance ability. However, involvement in sports is not necessarily enough of an incentive to stop drinking. Steve was on Male’s soccer team for his entire high school career and says he was careful not to drink before games, and Kelly cites examples of football players who knew if they got caught, they would be facing suspension from 25 percent of their athletic season. Steve sums up many teens’ attitudes when he likens underage drinking to violating minor traffic laws. “I understand there has to be a cut-off [on the legal drinking age], but I think the law is somewhat unrealistic,” he says. “No one feels bad when they speed; you understand why there has to be a limit in place, but you’re only upset if you get a ticket.”

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On the other end of the spectrum, Gryce, who is the PTSA president at Oldham County High School, says that “my first duty as a parent is to uphold the law.” Before Gryce’s son began to abuse alcohol and drugs, she says that they had conversations about underage drinking being unacceptable. Gyrce says. “They’re not going to like every rule that you make, but you’re not doing it out of spite. I love my children, and I want my children to be safe.” Some parents believe that keeping their kids safe means allowing them to drink in their homes so that they can monitor their behavior and not allow them to drive. Parents collect keys at the door and allow teens to stay at their house to keep them off the road. Steve reports that after their senior prom, he and his friends drank in a friend’s basement while his parents were upstairs. “At one point, (his) mom came downstairs and said, ‘I don’t really care that you’re drinking, but don’t let anyone drive. Whoever’s here right now is staying the night.’” Schumm says that when parents do this, they are doing exactly what Gryce advises them not to — that is, being permissive and trying to be their child’s friend. At Operation Parent, parents are taught that there are four different parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Schumm says that authoritative is the best method of approaching teens because authoritative parents don’t just put the rules in place (like an authoritarian parent) but also explain why the rules are there. “That’s the critical piece — building that relationship and explaining why,” Schumm says. “Teens need to know that we love them and want to protect them. Their peers aren’t going to do that for them. Parents are the only thing that stands between their child and the toxic culture.”

Parents are the only thing that stands between their child and the toxic culture.”

WHY is no one talking about it? If parental involvement is key to keeping kids safe, then why are so many parents unaware of what is going on with underage drinking today? And if they are aware, why aren’t they speaking up about it? Schumm says that it’s fear that cripples parents. “It hits too close to home,” she says. “They want to avoid difficult questions that kids might ask — did you drink when you were my age, why do you drink and I can’t, etc.” Gryce echoes this idea. “It’s embarrassing. For me, as a parent, having to manage all the drug and alcohol issues at school, it was very embarrassing. I’m the PTA president, for crying out loud, and here I have an addict for a son.” Lisa* is adamant about keeping open lines of communication with her kids, even if it is difficult for her. “I don’t like the fact that I had to tell them what I did when I was younger because as a parent, you want to be perfect in their eyes,” she says. “But being honest and frank with them helped them be honest with me.” Although Lisa doesn’t permit drinking in her house, she always

OCTOBER

2011

lets her kids know that if they do drink, they (and their friends) can call her without fear of repercussion. “The first thing I say is ‘I hope you don’t drink,’ but I try to be realistic about it. I tell them always to have a designated driver, and if they don’t, to call me. Just telling my kids ‘no, don’t do it’ isn’t going to work; they’re going to do it if they really want to.” Lisa recalls one time her kids brought home a friend who was drunk and afraid to go home. She allowed the friend to stay overnight and get sobered up, but the next morning she sat down and talked to him about his choices and encouraged him to talk to his parents about what was going on, because he could not use her house as a place to stay out of trouble. Lisa has, however, called other parents to tell them what their kids are up to, but she has been met with anger as parents insist that their kids would never drink. “They’d rather shoot the messenger than deal with the issue,” she says. “I’m not going to stick my head in the sand and I’m not going to not be on my kids’ case about this.” Lisa’s definition of “being on their case” includes searching her kids’ rooms and making them aware that she will have them undergo drug tests and breathalyzers. But at the end of the day, she tells her children that she knows they might drink and that she is a safe resource for them. “I’d rather have my child alive than be afraid to call me.”

I’d rather have my child alive than be afraid to call me.

HOW does this affect a teen’s life? Now a junior at Bellarmine, Christina says that because she got alcohol poisoning once in high school, she knew, once she got to college and had more freedom, just how much she could drink without getting to that point again. It also made me grow up a little bit faster,” she says. “(Drinking) introduces you to the ways of the world sooner than what a high schooler should have to deal with because there are so many dangerous things that go along with it — drugs and sex and stuff.” Gryce says that through her experiences with her son and her involvement with Operation Parent, she has learned about the adverse effects that alcohol has on the adolescent brain. In addition to the physical ramifications, Gryce says that underage drinking and drug use causes emotional and familial turmoil as well. “I can speak from experience of living with a teen who is living with an addiction, and it’s awful. It changes their lives, and it puts so much stress and pressure on the family,” she says. “At 16, my son had a great job and had saved up enough money for a car and his cell phone, but now he’s lost everything.” Although Schumm says that it’s important to start talking to children as early as fifth grade about alcohol, Gryce encourages parents that it’s never too late to hope for the best for their kids. “Parents should not give up on their children,” she says. “There have been so many times I’ve wanted to give up on my son, but in those moments when I wanted to walk away, I had to remember that if I were in his shoes, I would be calling out for help. “My son still has his whole life ahead of him. He may not know that, but I know how much fun life can be, and he still has that opportunity to live life to the fullest.”

Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

2011

OCTOBER

THINGS

Not To Miss

THIS Month

1 #

Blithe Spirit by Noel Coward Bunbury Theatre

First seen in London’s West End in 1941, this much revived classic from the playwright of Private Lives concerns a remarried novelist, haunted (literally) by the ghost of his late wife, who’s been called up by a visiting medium. After the current wife is accidentally killed and passes over, the two blithe spirits haunt their hapless former husband into perpetuity.*Bunbury Theatre (now celebrating its’ 25th season) has set the time period of this comedy in the 1950s rather than the original 1941 period.

Saturday October 8, 4:30-9:30pm Blackacre Nature Preserve & Historic Homestead Contact  www.blackacreconservancy. org, or Lydia Kowalski blackacre1844@gmail.com or 502.266.9802 Where 

Walk to Cure Diabetes

The Kentucky and Southern Indiana Chapter of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation’s (JDRF) goal is to raise more than $1 million for research to find the cure for diabetes and its complications. The Walk will feature a post-walk lunch, the Yum! Sponsored Kids Tent, inflatable bouncies, and other entertainment including local band, “Luk Nichols and The Other Side of Midnight.’

October 22 from 11am to 2pm Where  Churchill Downs, Gate 10–Longfield Lot Entrance Contact  502.485.9397, www.jdrf.org When 

The Rocky Horror Show

“After directing for over 20 years there are few shows left on my ‘list’ to direct,” emails CenterStage Artistic Director, John Leffert. “And this unique story is told so brilliantly. The characters are rich and broad and have become amazing icons of musical theatre. We’re going back to the original concept where the cast is small (8 actors,) with some actors playing multiple roles,” adds Leffert, who also designed the scenery for the musical set in a NYC skid row florist shop in the 1950s. The (Audrey II) plant has been rented from the New York production.

Sixth Annual Candle Glow Gala

— by Gioia Patton

When 

Centerstage

— by Gioia Patton

October 14-31. Wed.-Sat. @ 7:30pm and Sundays @ 2:30pm Where  The Bunbury Theatre @ The Henry Clay Building, 604 S. 3rd St. tickets  $21 Contact  502.585.5306 or www.bunburytheatre.org

Blackacre Conservancy hosts their annual Blackacre Magic Fundraiser to support environmental education. Throughout the night there will be a tour of Blackacre Homestead with environmental education activities, a farm-to-table dinner, live auction, and live music featuring “Dozens of Dollars String Band”. Tickets are $12 for children under 12 and $50 for adults. For directions, log onto their website or call.

Little Shop of Horrors

When  October 27-Nov. 13, various performances Where  Jewish Community Center, 3600 Dutchmans Lane tickets  $18 individual; Group rates for 25 or more Contact  502.459.0660 x0.

When 

Blackacre Magic Annual Fundraiser

2 #

PANDORA PRODUCTIONS

Due to popular demand, this is the third consecutive season Pandora Productions has mounted a production of Richard O’Brian’s cult classic. “And due to the musical being at The Connection this year we’ll be able to utilize some new elements,” writes Pandora’s Producing Artistic Director, Michael J. Drury, “like how Frank, Rocky and Eddie enter the play. These entrances will be spectacular!” Drury declares. “Our costumes and set will also be new this year,” he adds, “as well as the choreography. Obviously the ‘Time Warp’ is the time warp, but our choreographer has some updates to the dance that I think will surprise the audience.” October 20-31 @ 7:30pm Where  The Connection Theatre, 130 South Floyd St. tickets  $18 in advance, $20 day of show. Contact  502. 216.5502 or www.pandoraprods.org

When 

— by Gioia Patton

Hosparus presents the Sixth Annual Candle Glow Gala — A Masquerade Affair. All proceeds benefit the Hosparus Grief Counseling Center. Guests may purchase masks at the black tie event or bring their own. Guests will have the opportunity to bid on auction items such as but not limited to: a sevenday beach stay on Amelia Island, an superb Italian dinner for 8-10 prepared at your home by Volare’s Chef Joshua Moore, and a complimentary skin consultation, facial and SkinMedica gift basket. When  October 22 at 6:30pm Where  Marriott Downtown Louisville, 280 W Jefferson St. tickets  Dinner and dancing tickets, 6:30pm to Midnight – $150 each; Glow Lounge Tickets, 7pm to Midnight – $50 each Contact  502.719.8925 or 800.264.0521, ssmith@hosparus.org, www.hosparus.org

4 #

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

actors theatre of louisville

Step back in time with Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn and friends in this magical new adaptation of the greatest summer adventure ever told — complete with pranks, graveyards, caves, and buried treasure. Relive all that is glorious about childhood as our mischievous hero wins the girl, charms the grownups, and brings a local criminal to justice, all in the span of one small-town day. The play’s adaptor is Laura Easton, who is a former Humana Ten-Minute Play playwright. Recommended for ages 5 and up. October 4-29th, various performances Where  ATL, 316 West. Main St. tickets  $24-$59 Contact  the box office in person or call 502.584.1205 or www.actorstheatre.org. Contact the box office to set up the October 16, 2:30pm Audio Described performance, and the October 18th, 7:30pm Sign Interpreted performance. When 

— by Gioia Patton

If you would like to include your event in our upcoming issue, send it to Calendar@iamtodayswoman.com. Please include a hi-res jpeg image (photo should be 300 dpi at 4x6 size). We must receive your information at least 6 weeks in advance. No phone calls, please.

OCTOBER

2011

Today’s Woman

www.iamtodayswoman.com

2011

OCTOBER

FurReal

Fake? By Tiffany White / Photos by melissa donald

Model: Carmen Brown

Regardless of how much you are willing to spend, you can find attractive real and faux fur pieces that will add trendiness to your wardrobe.

IF YOU wear faux fur…

IF You wear real fur…

Faux fur has the luxurious look and timelessness of real fur but at a cheaper price, says Kelly McDonald, co-owner of Clodhoppers (3727 Lexington Road, 502.891.0079). “You can dress it up or dress it down, and it is a new twist. It is really soft and warm like real fur.” Faux fur, she says, is also ideal for those who prefer to wear non-animal clothing. Norma Pendleton, owner of Catherine’s Legacy (181 Sears Avenue, 502.896.6713) agrees: “we honor the animal kingdom by dressing like them, not in them.” Pendleton gets her faux fur pieces from Donna Saylers, a designer whose factory is located in Covington, Ky. She says the faux fur pieces she sells are easy to care for and look authentic. “If the coat has a satin lining, it must be dry cleaned.” She adds, “I have a faux Rex Rabbit hooded long vest that is machine washable.” Also, some of the faux fur items she sells, says Pendleton, have a quality of lining that is comparable to real fur.

Though faux furs have become popular among frugal shoppers who want an edgier, fashion-forward look, Steve Seelye, owner and furrier of John Seelye Furs (9800 Shelbyville Road, #111, 502.423.8555) says buying imitation fur might not be the best use of your money. Real fur, he says, lasts longer and can be altered and changed which makes it a renewable resource. “If you want to update your look, it lends itself to be changed easier.” Real fur, unlike faux, says Seelye also can be easily cleaned and repaired. Seeley recalls an instance when a customer had found a white fur coat covered in mud floating in the Ohio River: “He brought it to me. I cleaned it up and it was like brand new, but if you spill something on faux fur, you may not always be able to get the stain out, in some cases.” To keep your fur from drying out, Seelye says fur should be kept in a cool environment and suggests storing it at your local furrier. “Once it dries out, it will fall apart.”

Cost: Milly faux fur vest, $325 available at Clodhoppers

Cost: Fur vest, $1,300 available at John Seelye Furs

OCTOBER

2011

Today’s Woman

Breast Cancer Supplement 2011

Keep On

Dancing! First Things To Do After The Diagnosis Living with Breast Cancer What Really Helps You Cope Melissa Etheridge Shares Her Battle sponsored by

However, my family, friends, and parish are the greatest support system.

Jan Loi

~ First diagnosed 10 years ago

by Carmen Brown / Photo: Melissa donald

Cancer and her perspective

I am more aware of mental, physical, and emotional health issues than I was. It is so important to have a positive attitude and positive people around you to get through something like cancer. I can’t imagine not having support and having a disease — it would be too easy to give up.

Her positive attitude

My oncologist is the best! She and her staff are very upbeat, and she makes certain to remind me to do something fun every day. I’ve always been given positive news so it helps my positive attitude. Although my bone cancer isn’t curable, it’s treatable and I can deal with it. Instead of dwelling on the cancer and things I can’t do, I remember that I can still do a lot of things.

www.iamtodayswoman.com

Her motivation

I live for my husband, three daughters and their husbands, and my 12 grandchildren. Each day, when I wake up, I thank the Lord for another day to serve Him, and I take whatever comes.

On coping with her emotions

Ten years ago, when I was first diagnosed with cancer, I was scared and had so many questions. When it spread to my bones in 2009, I thought ‘that’s it’ — there was nothing more to do. However, my family, friends, and parish are the greatest support system I could ever have. They and my faith are what sustain me. I am thankful for having breast cancer because it brought so many wonderful people into my life that I may not have known.

Household: Jan and her husband, John. Neighborhood: Floyd Knobs AGE: 60

On the cure

Medicines have changed from the time of my first diagnosis. The research is going in the right direction, and one day, someone will have a revelation and find the cure. Even if I’m not around to see it, I’ll be glad for it because those people won’t have to experience what I have.

Credits: Cover: Kathi Lincoln (see page 14); Makeup: Isidro Valencia; Photo: Melissa Donald; Dress: Rodeo Drive

“

I am Living With Breast Cancer

She wants you to know

You can live with cancer — it does not have to be a death sentence. My mother, daughter, and I are proof of that. Keep a positive attitude, keep your faith, and let others help you and be there for you.

To d ay ’ s W o m a n

Survival Skills: After the Diagnosis

Trina Amos T

rina Amos went to the doctor for a routine mammogram in the summer of 2007 and didn’t expect a problem. Even after her doctor called her back for a second mammogram, she still wasn’t too concerned. But when her doctor encouraged her to visit a breast surgeon for a biopsy, she knew she might be coming up against the biggest fight of her life. “I’m a control freak, and one of the hardest things for me was realizing that this was one thing I couldn’t control. But when I was diagnosed, I realized it’s a fight, and I’m in it now.” Now, four years, eight surgeries, and eight rounds of chemo later, Trina, 47, is cancer-free and ready to share the survival skills she learned during her bout with cancer.

Rule #1: Come Up with a Battle Plan

Rule #3: Shed It All

One of Trina’s mantras early on was that statistics do not apply to her, but unfortunately she followed the norm when it came to losing her hair as a result of chemotherapy. “A bad hair day used to ruin my day,” Trina says with a smile. “My hair used to be down my back and when I cut it one time, the girls at my office got so upset, so I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose it all.” Two weeks into chemo, Trina noticed her hair was coming out easily, and in what she describes as Demi Moore’s G.I. Jane style, she buzzed it all off at once. “I don’t get upset about the small things anymore,” she says. “A bad hair day is better than no hair any day.”

Rule #4: Afraid? Do It Anyway

The day Trina received her diagnosis, she didn’t go back to work, but neither did she sit at home in a dark room. Instead she logged on the computer, picked up the phone, and began her research. “I called people I knew who’d been through this and asked them about their experiences, and I explored all my options with surgery,” Trina says. Although Trina acknowledges that shock and self-pity weighed on her in her earliest days, she knew she had to come up with a game plan, and she started a journal to record not her thoughts and feelings, but rather all of her treatments and discussions with her doctors. “I knew I needed to do my homework,” Trina says. “It’s no different than buying a new car. It’s shown that patients who ask a lot of questions have a higher survival rate. It’s your life you’re fighting for.”

Even after trooping through diagnosis and surgeries, Trina recalls being terrified of undergoing chemotherapy. “I’ve never gone through anything major, so I’m not sure that I knew exactly what chemo was at first,” Trina says. “I think it was just fear of the unknown.” Nausea and extreme fatigue kept Trina from work for an entire week after her Monday sessions of chemo treatment. She says it was difficult not going to work, but she still got up every day and put on her makeup and her wig to keep herself feeling motivated. “I always find one thing to be thankful for every day,” Trina says. “Chemo was rough, but I knew it was one step closer to being cured.”

Rule #2: Keep Your Eye on the Prize

Rule #5: Recruit People to the Fight

Breast Cancer Supplement

p h oto

: M elis

sa Do

nald

Trina made the difficult decision to have a bilateral mastectomy with reconstructive surgery. “I never looked back on that decision,” she says. “It greatly reduced the risk of the cancer coming back, and even if it does come back, I had to know I did all I could.” Although losing her natural breasts was an emotional experience, Trina believes it was a necessary sacrifice in her fight to survive and be at peace with herself. “(The reconstruction) was strange at first, but it’s part of me now,” she says. “It was hard to look the first time after the surgery because you’re flat and scarred, and it just makes you feel ugly about yourself. But I kept my eye on the prize.”

by Jennifer Thompson

“I can honestly say cancer has brought me more good than bad,” Trina says. The “good” for Trina centers around people. Trina met one of her closest friends through her plastic surgeon’s office. Trina also willingly lets herself be drafted to others’ fights. Once at a follow-up appointment with her plastic surgeon, she noticed a woman crying. Trina approached her to offer comfort and her phone number. Friends who know about Trina’s fight have also referred newly diagnosed women to her so she can help them. “I don’t mind talking to people about it, so I think maybe that’s why I had this, because everything happens for a reason,” she says. “I know now that it’s all just a part of the big plan, and I’ve learned so much from it.”

October 2 0 1 1

www.iamtodayswoman.com

Up-Close & Personal By Gioia Patton

Melissa Etheridge

Fearless Embrace

— Melissa Etheridge’s in-concert way of taking away the stigma of (having) cancer.

It’s a blur since they told me about it How the darkness had taken its toll And they cut into my skin And they cut into my body But they will never get a piece of my soul — from I Run for Life by Melissa Etheridge

Breast Cancer Supplement

PAGE 8

“I always get up on stage and say ‘cancer…cancer…cancer!’”

out of her being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004. “(It) totally changed my life,” she continues, speaking by phone. “(Cancer) showed me that life is a journey, not a destination. And that this is just a day-to-day process of loving myself, which is the greatest thing that I can do for my myself and my family, and for the whole world. It taught me that I am more powerful than I’ll ever know…and that health is everything,” Etheridge says passionately. “Breast cancer gets a lot of attention, and about dealing with cancer in general, (we) are more powerful than we know. We have health at our fingertips and we can bring health to ourselves. It’s all a state of mind and how we carry ourselves. And I would just encourage (everyone) that it’s not about death, it’s about living, and how we’re gonna live.” Melissa Etheridge was taking a shower that October day of ’04 when she discovered a lump on her breast. What was surprising about the (then) 43-year-old’s discovery was how quickly a lump had developed, as she’d had a thorough doctor’s examination only a couple of months before. “But I was kinda prepared for the cancer diagnosis a few days later while awaiting the biopsy results,” she admits, “because I already knew my radiologist, who had had a double mastectomy herself. And after taking a preliminary look at the biopsy, she’d said to me ‘yeah...it’s cancer.’” Rather than Etheridge’s reaction to the startling news being ‘that’s it….I’m going to die!’ she says her approach to the diagnosis was “that because cancer starts inside of you and is of your body — in the research I’ve done in finding health and balance, I wondered ‘what is it I eat, what stress am I’m under, which people am I around, and what is it about the environment that’s causing me to be out of balance? What am I putting around myself and in myself that’s causing the cells that were normal, to be turned abnormal?’ That’s what it is. (We) have the responsibility inside ourselves, so to understand that and to come from that place and know that I have this big tumor (because) I’ve driven my body so hard in the acidic place that finally a tumor popped up.” After a lumpectomy and the removal of 15 lymph nodes followed by chemotherapy and radiation sessions, Etheridge forged ahead with a ‘now it’s up to me,’ mindset. “I needed to make my body healthy,” she says. “(Cancer) is a human condition. I really want to present that to the world that there’s more (to the disease). I know we’re looking for cures, and there’s wonderful people out there doing really great work, and that’s all good, but we have so much of our own responsibility in this. (You) can beat this inside by understanding how important happiness and health is,” she adds. Coincidentally, just a few weeks before her cancer diagnosis Etheridge reveals that she’d “had a kind of spiritual awakening…really having started down the rabbit hole on this spiritual path. And so when all of a sudden I’m looking at my higher powers and thinking ‘what? Cancer!’ it forced me to say to myself ‘okay…if you’re really believing this (awakening) then let’s walk through this (diagnosis) without fear.’ (Sighs) Of course though, especially during those chemo treatments, which is a hideous thing, there were a few times when I got under the covers and thought ‘really? Can’t this cup pass me by?’” she admits.

photo: JAMES MINCHIN

was the greatest thing that ever happened to me!” declares rock music icon “ItMelissa Etheridge instantaneously after being asked if anything ‘good’ came

October 2 0 1 1

PAGE 6

“I have to be honest,” she says suddenly, “in the future, if for some reason my body would ever get out of balance to the point where the cancer came back, I would not do chemo or radiation. I would go totally holistic, because I believe that my body is a super bio-computer, and if I know how to operate it and operate it with care it can survive.” I then tell Etheridge that I’ll never forget the sight of her standing on the Red Carpet of the 2005 Grammy Awards seemingly glowing with good health — dressed to the nines and with full makeup — albeit completely bald. I can’t help but wonder, though, if her agent/manager or record label reps tried to dissuade her from not only attending the awards sans wig or scarf — but from also remaining that way later that same night when she performed a Janis Joplin tribute of Piece of My Heart on stage? “Yes, a lot of (people) did,” she replies quickly, before mentioning that by that particular night she’d already undergone “three grueling months of the deepest level of chemo, which I was able to be taken down to, as I didn’t need to work. (Pauses) Actually, after I’d told my surgeon of my decision to attend the Grammys without a wig or a scarf, he’d said: ‘no one wants to see a bald rock star!’ to which my reaction was to think to myself ‘nope…gonna prove you wrong!’” “It was quite a spiritual experience for me to be purposely taken to the edge of death,” she continues, about the chemo treatments. “The cancer wasn’t taking me there…the chemo was.” When Etheridge goes on to describe her chemotherapy experience as “being like an acid wash,” her words cause me to flinch as my own 70-something mother narrowly escaped having to undergo either radiation or chemo when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in July of 2007. Upon hearing my comments about my mother, Etheridge instantly declares: “I wouldn’t give chemotherapy to anyone over the age of 70, as it kills more people than the cancer does. I also urge (people) to understand the healing powers of their body before they take any other body parts off, because I know some women say ‘just cut both (breasts) off,’ because they get really scared,” she says, sounding concerned. “I really would like to emphasize that (having) breast cancer is a loooong journey…it’s not ‘I’m going to die next week!’” at all,” she continues. “(Your) body is out of whack, so find some balance…change something. Even my total allopathic doctor, who’s like Dr. ‘man’ says that ‘the one thing that will lead to more survival percentage is if (you) change something in your life… change that relationship, change the way you eat, and change your (lifestyle)by exercising for 20 minutes a day.’” Etheridge adds: “(You) need sunshine to go into your eyes as it’s the eyes that absorb vitamin D. And find your joy!” she enthuses. At the July 22 Horseshoe Southern Indiana Casino Melissa Etheridge concert I attended, there were some women in the crowd (with and without head scarves), wearing pink t-shirts and waving ‘I survived cancer!’ hand-written signs during the song I Run for Life, which Etheridge wrote upon her recovery from the disease. “Ohhhh, I can see those women out there (in the audience,)” she exclaims at my recollection. “I see men and women, who have cancer, or who have gone through cancer. It’s a journey that way too many of us are going on,” she says with a sigh. “I play I Run for Life, which delivers a message that (you) are stronger that you know…you can do it! And I love that these people come to the shows, and I love that they share it with me,” she adds, before voicing an understanding ‘yes,’ after I’d remarked that my favorite moments of her fantastic concert that night occurred when the entire crowd sang along at the top of their lungs during the chorus of I Run for Life. I run for hope, I run to feel I run for the truth for all that is real I run for your mother, your sister, your wife I run for you and me, my friend I run for life — the chorus of I Run for Life, by Melissa Etheridge “I Run for Life is my most downloaded song on iTunes,” she remarks. “And (they) play it at all the (marathon) races for cancer research. The song has become an anthem — which was my purpose for writing it. It’s about life…and running for life. It’s not about dying at all,” she stresses. “It’s about how to embrace this life — full on!” Etheridge declares. Gioia Patton is an Arts & Entertainment celebrity profiler and concert reviewer.

Breast Cancer Supplement

October 2 0 1 1

One Size Does Not Fit All by Cheryl Stuck

When it comes to breast cancer, there is not just one plan of action. Beth Riley, M.D., specializes in breast cancer and hematology at the Brown Cancer Center, University of Louisville. She said that although breast cancer is very common, there are about five different types and they can vary greatly. “When a woman is newly diagnosed with breast cancer, she usually has a lot of support from family and friends who often come with their own breast cancer experiences. What I find the women struggle with is the person who was helping them had a completely different type of breast cancer and needed a different kind of surgery. It’s almost like two different types of diseases, but because it’s titled breast cancer, everyone brings her opinion to the table which is often stressful to a patient with a new diagnosis. It’s important to understand that every woman’s breast cancer is her unique story. Her treatment may be different and should be based on the discussion between her and her treating physician and what’s best for her specific type of breast cancer.”

FACTS YOU SHOULDN’T IGNORE

33%

Cook food/meals

13%

Clean your house Run errands for you Provide childcare

26% 20% 46% 40%

Send cards, emails, or call Offer prayer

20%

Go with you to the doctor/hospital

How do you prefer people act toward you once you have shared about your sickness? 25%

Be Sympathetic

75%

Discuss the Facts 0

* 0% of respondents listed making a joke or acting like nothing’s wrong.

PAGE 12

Regardless of the type of cancer, Riley said, “One thing doctors always struggle with is getting patients to stop smoking. Smoking increases your risk of many cancers, including breast cancer, and it also increases your risk of recurrence of breast cancer.” The most common breast cancer is Estrogen Receptor positive (ER+) breast cancer, which relies on estrogen to grow. Riley discourages the use of supplemental estrogen (including bio-identical hormones) in women with a history of, or at risk for, ER+ breast cancer. “A lot of women take ‘natural’ herbals and vitamins that have hidden estrogen in them,” Riley said. “We generally just say to avoid these supplements because they could potentially be harmful in a woman.”

What are some of the most helpful things people can do for you?

Breast Cancer Supplement

October 2 0 1 1

PAGE 10

o Some of them are: • Alfalfa • Ginko • Ginseng • Black Cohosh • Flax Seed • Soy • Chaste berry • DHEA • Dong Quai • Fennel • Genestein • Hops • Kudzu • Wild Yam • Licorice Riley said that studies at Duke University found that some non-FDAapproved supplements not only vary in chemical content from bottle to bottle from the manufacturer, but also from pill to pill within a bottle. “It’s not like a prescription drug or over-the-counter drug that’s approved by the FDA. These so-called natural supplements are not regulated by the FDA so we’re not really sure what they do.” Often a part of breast cancer therapy, (especially ER+) includes a pill that the patient is supposed to take for five years. Riley said that after a couple of years, the compliance rate of taking those drugs falls off dramatically. “Because it’s a pill, women may think it’s less powerful than chemotherapy. But it isn’t true; it’s as powerful as chemotherapy so it’s important to take it every day as prescribed.” The Brown Cancer Center and the American Cancer Society recommend that all women age 40 and over get an annual mammogram. Riley said you should definitely get a mammogram even if you don’t feel a lump. “The whole point of the mammogram is to detect something that you can’t feel, a microscopic cancer at an early stage.” And don’t let a lack of insurance stop you from getting a mammogram. Riley said, “You can call the Brown Cancer Center and we can help you find a way to get a mammogram. Don’t be scared of not having insurance.”

Breast Cancer Supplement

The Today’s Woman of Wellness Health advisory group talks about what not to do or say to someone with a serious illness like breast cancer. “I had ulcerative colitis, followed by infertility, and in the midst of that treatment found out that I had cervical cancer. It was hurtful to hear people say that my illness was ‘God’s will’ or that ‘others have it worse than you do’” Kristi Jedlicki Levenhagen, Case Manager Supervisor for St. John Center for Homeless Men. Two friends have experienced breast cancer.

“I remember staring at a scar on a lady at a party and wondered what it was. Then her husband mentioned she was a breast cancer survivor. I felt terrible because I think she saw me staring at it.” Gretchen Houchin, director at Nazareth Home. One friend and a friend’s mother have experienced breast cancer.

“When people say, ‘It could be worse. Keep your chin up,’ it doesn’t help. I’ve not had breast cancer but I’ve had depression and when people try to make light of things, it doesn’t make it better.” Pat Cooke, Bookkeeper and artist. Three friends survived breast cancer.

“Don’t say, ‘Let me know if you need anything,’ or ‘I’ll be there for you.’ Those words are empty and meaningless. Just do something. Run errands, provide childcare, send cards, emails or call. Go with her to the doctor or hospital. Eventually she will know you are sincere and ask for help.” Deborah Tuggle, Clinical nurse specialist at Central Baptist Hospital. A sister, five first cousins, and three close friends have experienced breast cancer. Two of them have had two episodes.

October 2 0 1 1

tips

Learning from Survivors By Angela Mullins Boggs photos by Melissa Donald

“Don’t allow weeks between surgery and physical therapy to restore arm motion. With removal of lymph nodes, fluid hardens and increases the risk of blood clots. With my second surgery, I demanded that my PT begin immediately.”

“My mouth was sore, after chemo and toothpaste burned, so I used baking soda.” — Barb Damron, 74, 22-year survivor.

“Search for alternatives and do your research on options, like thermography.” — Georgette Cochran, 70, in remission for six months.

“I had a head shaving party. If I was going to lose my hair, it was going to be on my own terms. I invited friends, and we had cake and wine. I let my 11-yearold daughter cut my hair, then my husband got the clippers.”

6 4 2 7 3 8 9 — Vickie Riffe Ellis, 9-year survivor

After treatments, “eat a little something every three to four hours, even if it’s just a handful of pretzels, to help with nausea.”

— Kathi Lincoln of Louisville, 49, diagnosed in February; completed chemo in August.

— Sarah Chandler, 46, diagnosed seven months ago.

“You get a coating on your tongue and a metallic taste in your mouth where you can barely eat or drink anything. I decided to get a new toothbrush after each treatment, throwing the old away, and purchased a tongue scraper that I used several times a day, and that helped.” — Kathi Lincoln, who is also our cover model.

“Bring a button-up shirt to wear home from the hospital after the mastectomy. I couldn’t lift my arms over my head. I lived in button up-shirts for two weeks.”

”Get a pretty wig. And don’t worry about no eyebrows. A good eyebrow pencil can do wonders.” — Brenda Chene, 65, five-year survivor

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“I had to learn to sleep propped up on pillows, so I couldn’t move.”

— Nancy Guyse

— Nancy Guyse, 35, one-year survivor

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“Eat whatever tastes good. Chemo kills taste buds. Not many things will taste good. I ate pizza. And French vanilla ice cream with frozen raspberries was so good. Don’t get too caught up in health food. Not that that’s bad, but you have to get calories into your body, it needs energy to heal.” — Lydia Bond, 72, 10-year survivor

“I sent out regular email updates to family and friends. Many said they found them informative, entertaining, and inspiring. It was a good way to let everyone know how I was doing but it was also very therapeutic for me.”

14 15 16 — Sarah Chandler

“Every case is very unique. There are as many kinds of breast cancer as there are women who have it.”

— Janna Shephard, 39, threeyear survivor.

“Find something you love to do and keep doing it. Mine is horseback riding and photography. Both were and still are very therapeutic in my health and recovery.”

“Rely on your family and friends. Seek out people who have gone through it. I made friends in the chemo chair.”

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— Jami Vance, 48, five-year survivor

“Don’t feel isolated. It helps to have friends who know what you’re going through. Go to breast cancer group events.”

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— Rhonda Woosley, 53, 11-year survivor

“Keep a positive attitude. There’s a mind/body connection. Negative thoughts affect the body. I said ‘I’m going to beat this. I want to see my kids grow up and my grandkids.’”

“Try to stay as positive as you can about it, and stay confident that you will be OK. Your attitude is everything. It’s not our choice to get cancer, but how we live our lives with it is.”

— Amy Hamm, 55, five-year survivor

— Carol Joy Knizek, 45, six-year survivor

“Take care of yourself. You have to be a little selfcentered. You have to do what is best for you. If you don’t feel like talking, tell people you appreciate their concern and tell them how you feel. If someone asks what they can do, say you need someone to fix supper or take your kids to the movies. Don’t try to do more than you are able to do.”

— Lydia Bond, 72, 10-year survivor

“Keep balance in your life — eat well, keep in touch with your support people, try to get good rest, and feed your soul.” — Brenda Chene, 65, five-year survivor

— Cindy Ingle, 51, five-year survivor

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SATURDAYS

Not To Miss and other cancer resources

American Cancer Society Making Strides Against Breast Cancer

Making Strides Toward A World With More Birthdays. Join the American Cancer Society in the fight against breast cancer at its 14th annual Making Strides Against Breast Cancer 5K walk in Louisville, Kentucky. This inspiring event unites the entire community to honor and celebrate breast cancer survivors, educate women about the importance of early detection and prevention, and raise money to fund life-saving research and support programs to further the progress against this disease.

Sunday, October 23. Registration begins at 11:30am. Walk starts at 1pm Waterfront Park Contact  Jessica Whirt at 502.584.9255 or www.makingstrideslouisville.org. When 

Where 

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Race for the Cure

Cleaning for a Reason

If you know any woman currently undergoing chemotherapy, there is a cleaning service that provides free housecleaning — once per month for four months while she is in treatment. All she has to do is sign up and have her doctor fax a note confirming the treatment. Cleaning for a Reason will have a participating maid service in her zip code area arrange for the service. Contact  www.cleaningforareason.org.

The 16th annual Komen Louisville Race for the Cure presented by Kroger raises significant funds and awareness for the fight against breast cancer, celebrates breast cancer survivorship, and honors those who have lost their battle with the disease. A new feature to the event this year is the Reach to Recovery addition of a 10K to the 5K Race and One-Mile Family Fun Walk. Contact with a woman facing a diagnosis of Saturday, October 8 Where  Waterfront Park HOW  www.komenlouisville.org. $15 for youth (Grade 8 or lower) to $35 for Adult 10K fee. Sleep In for the Cure is also available for those who are not able to be there. V.I.Pink tickets are $100 and include Race registration and admission to the V.I.Pink area, which offers massages and treats. Contact  Stacey Hallahan 502.644.0100 or www.komenlouisville.org When 

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breast cancer by a breast cancer survivor. All visitors are trained and certified by Reach to Recovery standards. Contact  American Cancer Society — 701 W Muhammad Ali Blvd., 800.227.2345

Aqua Class

The Breast Cancer Aqua Class (B.C.A.C) at Baptist East/Milestone Wellness Center is designed for women who have recently had breast cancer surgery or who have finished treatment and need a program to help them regain their strength and mobility. Private locker and shower areas are available. Contact  Baptist East — Milestone Wellness Center,750 Cypress Station Dr., Louisville, 502.896.3900, x302

Retreat

Kentucky African Americans Against Cancer offers a weekend retreat held each summer for female African American breast cancer patients and survivors. Contact  Kentucky Cancer Program 501 E. Broadway, Ste 160, 502.852.8815

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Pretty Side of Ugly

Focus with me for a moment on four courageous women: Sharon LaHue, dental hygienist, Corydon, Ind.; Suzanne Stevens, owner and founder of Sweets on the Square, Lawrenceville, GA; Sandy Mansfield, General Manager, White Castle, Louisville; and Carolyn Harper, Client Service Associate of ARGI Financial Group, Louisville. These women were each forced, in the throes of breast cancer, to decide to save their breasts or have them surgically removed. Each lady, being proactive regarding her health, decided they must go, but at different stages of her cancer struggle.

What will my husband think of my body? Myriad issues surround the difficult decision to remove a woman’s breasts. It’s no surprise the will to live is, perhaps, the most plaguing internal struggle. Hidden beneath the rubble of anxiety, however, is her disquiet thrashing of emotions regarding the disfigurement of her body. Typically, it’s not just how she looks to herself, but also how she looks to him. When asked, “Did you consider your husband’s reaction to removing your breast(s)?” the response was overwhelmingly, “Absolutely!” Each woman cherished the love and support of her husband. Sharon acknowledged, “I know there are many support groups available, but there’s nothing like having the encouragement and support of someone who loves you deeply.” Suzanne’s husband could not have been more

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supportive. “He walked me through every day, encouraging me, holding me when I needed to be held, and giving me space when I just wanted to cry alone. But he always assured me he would love me whatever decision I made.” Sandy proudly proclaimed, “My husband was always compassionate, but I saw a new man emerge from the very beginning of my journey.” Compensating for her absence in the home during recovery, she said her husband “became a nurse when I needed him to be, and when I needed him as my husband, he transformed into the husband I always hoped he would become. Seven years later, he’s still doing the things he learned to do when I was down. It’s so cool.” Her account of devotioån to her husband was moving. She explained, “It was me, not him, who had the problem with my body. He never shunned me, nor looked away in disbelief or sadness. Going through that with him and his being by my side made me love him in a whole different way. We discovered a depth of love we had never experienced before.” Carolyn was dating Jeff when she was diagnosed. Realizing she would have enough adversity to consider, it was important she knew where he stood in the relationship. She sat him down and said, “I am going to lose my breast. I may lose my hair. So, if you’re not in this for the long haul, I want you to leave now and not when I’m down and out.” He didn’t. Jeff proposed to her that Christmas Eve in the midst of her reconstructive surgeries. She quickly added, “Jeff was supportive in that he didn’t want me to have reconstruction. It wasn’t important to him because he didn’t want to see me suffer through more surgeries. ‘I love you for who you are,’ he assured me. But, it was important to me. Radiation and/or chemotherapy treatment can complicate the emotional side effects of that sense of loss of one’s femininity. Implants or padded bras can give the appearance of shape and form. Clothing can cover scars. But hair. What do you do with no hair? Wigs are uncomfortable and feel insecurely unnatural. “Yes, hair grows back. Eventually,” Sharon lamented. ”But, will it be the same as it was? That’s been a big challenge for me. Eldon was great. He even helped me pick out my wigs. My toddler grandchildren, however, have been the hardest part for me. Before they step into the room where I am, they want to know if I have on my hair.” It’s interesting that Carolyn’s son struggled with the possibility of that aspect of her cancer, as well.

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Breast cancer awareness is deeper than a skin-and-tissue concern; it’s a heart issue for women. The physical effects are compounded by the psychological and emotional toll as the battle takes on different aspects of resistance. When faced with issues such as breast cancer, we don’t always see beauty when there’s so much ugly surrounding it.

By Joyce Olgesby

The

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The

Pretty Side of Ugly

How did they stay involved in life? Allowing herself appropriate time to recover from surgeries and therapies, Denise never broke stride in her pharmaceutical responsibilities. “I try to stay focused on the positives in life,” she said. Suzanne capitalized on downtime and planned the grand opening of her bakery. “It was a dream I always had. It just seemed like the perfect season in my life to pursue it.” Sharon missed only one class of Zumba after each chemo treatment, and then quickly rejoined her exercise regimen. “I would encourage anyone going through chemo to engage in some kind of exercise that makes you sweat. I believe it helped relieve the body aches,” she added. Having regained full strength in her arms, she is now back cleaning out people’s mouths with a story to share. Sandy’s recuperation was a long haul, emotionally and physically. “I was very self-conscious. I was so afraid people would look at me, like they could see through my clothing and see my bandages. My husband and daughter were determined I was going to get back out in society. I’m so thankful they were persistent with me. I loved getting back to work and stepping back into life.” Carolyn was back in the swing of things two weeks after surgery. “I’ve never been one to sit

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around. I was doing things I shouldn’t have been doing, I know, but I enjoy being around the kind of supportive people like those at my office.”

Good Grief! Suzanne granted herself permission to grieve. Each morning she would take her shirt off, stand in front of her mirror for 15 minutes and have a pity party. “I did that for two-and-a-half years, having multiple surgeries due to complications. Eventually, I didn’t have to do it anymore,” she stated. “Emotionally, I healed, along with my body.” When I inquired how it affected her sexually, Suzanne shared, “We found creative ways to compensate for the loss of that part of our intimate lives. It’s the same love; just a different way to share it.” Carolyn attributes the success of her recovery to her faith and prayer, along with the support of family and friends. “I still have my moments when I feel sorry that I don’t feel whole with my physical body. I experience frustrations because I’ll always be faced with additional surgeries due to the fact I didn’t have a bilateral mastectomy. Implants don’t last forever. That’s kind of inconvenient. But when I consider the alternative, I know how God blessed me in this adversity. I had to potentially face death in order to learn how to live.”

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