AUGUST 2012
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Celebrating 20 Years
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Our annual
Man
Issue Men With a Mission Bachelors Manscaping Powerful Men Best Husbands
August 2012 articles
Contents
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About This Issue
By Anita oldham
Power
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I am Today’s Man
By Lucy M. Pritchett
Survival Skills: Bennie Pollard By Marie Bradby
Men With a Mission
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By Yelena Sapin
20 Men
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By ANITA OLDHAM
Power Moves
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By Bella Portaro
STYLE Bachelors in Black & White 28
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22
By Tiffany White
The Odd Couple By Holly Gregor
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Vote for the Best Husband By TIFFANY WHITE
WELLNESS
Stretching Their Limitations By Jessica Smith
Addiction Hurts
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40
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By Cheryl Stuck
CONNECTIONS He’s a Snob 50 By megan Seckman
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28 Today’s Woman
Oh, Man!
Cover
About This Issue
On Our
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— Anita Oldham
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t is hot out there and we tried to match our issue to the weather: Showcasing men in our once-ayear effort to capture how the other half lives. An enthusiastic search by our editorial team unveiled some exciting men you will meet in this issue. Thanks to our readers who sent us so many suggestions for Great Guys and Great Husbands. We found the men we met to be downright encouraging. Welcome to the fourth annual man issue. Enjoy.
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arkus Williams gets up close and personal with us about how he gained control over his health issues to live a better, healthier life. Read more about him on page 40.
— Tiffany White
Photo:
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Volume 22 8 Number 8
Melissa Donald
Celebrating 20 Years
Reprints are available!
Call (502) 327-8855, ext. 10, or email us at reprints@todayspublications.com with details and specifics. For advertising information in Today’s Woman, call (502) 327-8855. Today’s Woman
BBB Rating of
is published monthly by:
Zion Publications, LLC 9750 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 307, Louisville, KY 40223 Phone: (502) 327-8855 • Fax: (502) 327-8861 www.iamtodayswoman.com
Subscriptions are available by sending $18 to the above address for 12 monthly issues. Today’s Woman magazine is published monthly by Zion Publications LLC and distributed free to the people of metropolitan Louisville and Southern Indiana. Circulation 50,000 guaranteed. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Woman magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service. Copyright 2012 by Zion Publications LLC with all rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC.
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Today’s Woman
“
I am Today’s man ~ Passionate and Fearless
PAUL Kiger ~ Paul Kiger Realty Group
AGE: 32 Hometown: New Middletown, Indiana — Population 85 NEIGHBORHOOD: New Albany Household: Partner Aaron Kessinger; Schnauzers Lola and Charlie
by Lucy M. Pritchett / Photo: Melissa donald
He is:
A community advocate for New Albany in retail and residential opportunities. I sometimes need a muzzle, as I have a tendency to speak out often. I am fearless in regard to any person or organization trying to hold me back from what I want to accomplish.
Carries with him:
Office Depot card, American Express Platinum, PNC debit card, driver’s license, and usually a crinkled business card. I am like a squirrel. In my pockets, I carry an assortment of mints, coins, a lighter, about seven dollars in coins, and a Nutri-Grain bar. I also have my iPhone, iPad, and a Tumi backpack.
Is reading:
• Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth and Happiness by Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein • In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson
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Lives in:
A 5,500-square-foot historic house in downtown New Albany. The French Second Empire style home, built in 1889, has five bedrooms, three baths, and four fireplaces. Its brick exterior is painted yellow with white trim and features a wraparound porch.
On his Bucket List:
• Rent a small AirStream RV and drive across the Canadian North Country. • Own a city block of historic buildings and restore them. I see posh but reasonably priced commercial and residential buildings. • Have a kid. Twins would be even better.
Favorite tech tool:
My MAC desktop computer. It has a 27-inch screen.
Drives:
A 2011 white Ford F-150 that has cooling seats. I hate hot weather. And for my 30th birthday, I bought a 2001 white Jeep Wrangler.
Would change:
About myself: I would take better care of my health. About the world: I wish every person could see the other person’s point of view and/or situation.
Has too many:
T-shirts. I have a closetful that I will never get rid of.
Has too few:
Skills to restore my home myself. I have to pay someone else to do the work.
Secret Stash:
Cinnamon fireballs from Fresh Market. Also, cinnamon gummy bears.
Keeps in shape:
I walk 10,000 steps a day.
Hair stylist:
Beth, at Make the Cut in Floyd Knobs
Jewelry:
My dad’s wedding ring. He died in 2002. He owned a roofing company, and for a long time there was a speck of tar between two of the diamonds. I didn’t want to remove it, but it finally wore off.
Shops for clothes:
I get my professional clothes from Tom James Co. I am 6-foot-4 and need custom tailoring. For casual clothing, I shop at Von Maur or Macy’s.
Sports teams:
Hoosier basketball; Cubs baseball.
Makes him cry:
Hallmark commercials, romantic comedies, and sports movies — Hoosiers, Secretariat.
Childhood dream: To own my own business.
Travel plans:
England and Scotland at the end of August. Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
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Survival Skills: Self-Starter
Bennie Pollard
by Marie Bradby
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Rule #2: Catalog all your personal beliefs and decide which ones are true and which ones are false. “Before I started my
ou might see Bennie Pollard buzzing down Frankfort Avenue on his HarleyDavidson Super Glide motorcycle, heading to his hair salon, Bennie and Friends. Or he might be at the airport, ready to fly off to teach styling techniques to stylists from around the world. Or maybe he is just kicking back doing one of his favorite things: reading books on business.
product company, someone said, ‘Bennie, no one’s going to buy anything having to do with fashion or beauty from Louisville. We sell bourbon and we race horses.’ That’s a false belief. Once you get your life plan, you need to question your beliefs to see if there are any false beliefs in there that will hamper your life plan.”
Rule #3: Work hard. “You’ve heard
Bennie just finished re-reading Street Smarts by Norm Brodsky, a handbook for entrepreneurs. “An excellent read,” Bennie says. “Anybody in business or thinking about business, should do this one for sure. I read every day. It’s like breakfast for the mind.” Originally from Old Louisville, Bennie’s family moved to Mount Washington, where he graduated from Bullitt East High School and decided to follow the family tradition of being a hairdresser. “I have grown up with the hair industry,” Bennie says. “My mother was a hairdresser. My uncle was a barber. I had several cousins who were hairdressers, also. I had an aunt who taught hairdressing. So it’s definitely in the DNA.” Bennie is celebrating his 20 th anniversary of opening his ultra-modern salon, where clients can get classic styles or cutting-edge cuts from one of 15 stylists. “It’s been arduous, to say the least,” Bennie says. “I didn’t have business acumen to start out, so I had to learn everything the hard way. Running a successful business is completely different from having a very happy customer in my chair. Once I began understanding that, we [took] off and have been very successful.” His business grew by 20 percent last year and has grown in the double digits for several years in spite of the dire economy, he said. It’s also Bennie’s 10 th year of manufacturing his own lines of professional salon hair products, which are sold at 600 salons around the U.S. His men’s line is also now available in Scandinavia. Bennie has been nominated for six and won two awards from the North American Hairstyling Awards: Avante Garde in 2003 and Contemporary Classic in 2006. When accepting his last award, he said, “There isn’t any such thing as self-made, only self-starters.” In December, Bennie and his wife Marie opened the Market Street Barbers in NuLu. Here are Bennie’s rules for successful living and business:
Rule #1: Decide what your life plan is.
“Early in life, people will say things like, ‘I want a 40-million-dollar-year company,’ not realizing that that will take 100 percent of their time. You have to decide up front what kind of lifestyle you want — how much time is going to be devoted to family and friends, to hobbies, to business. Then build income and business goals around that.”
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the phrase, ‘Work smart, not hard.’ I think that’s a falsehood. I’m always going to beat someone if I work harder than they do. I don’t care how smart they are. Outwork the next guy. That is working smart.”
Rule #4: Analyze your mistakes and learn from them. “If you learn
and become better, it wasn’t a mistake at all — it was a lesson.”
Rule #5: Follow your gut.
“If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right. It’s the subconscious at work; it’s almost always going to be right.”
Rule #6: Be willing to make decisions. “Indecision is the killer of dreams.
So what if it’s the wrong decision? Lesson learned. Next.”
Rule #7: Look at whether something will benefit you or inhibit you. “I do a lot of business motivational
speaking. For the first 20 years of my career, every time I would take a cape off one of my customers, the No. 1 thing that I would hear from them is, ‘Oh, I feel so much better.’ That let me know that I’m really in the self-esteem business through rearranging the hair on their heads. I understood that positive affirmations are paramount in everyday life. How I talk to myself is going to be paramount in whether I can overcome obstacles.”
Rule #8: Be careful how you talk to yourself. “We are our
words, our thoughts. You are what you say you are. So be careful what you’re thinking, because you’re going to get it.”
Rule #9: Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
“Slow down. Take your time. You aren’t going to get anything unless you go for it, but it doesn’t mean you have to be in a hurry.” photo: Melissa Donald
Today’s Woman
MenMission with a
By Yelena Sapin / photos By melissa Donald
Whether they’re working in the public or private sectors, in the nonprofit or corporate arena, anonymously or under public scrutiny, many men in our community devote their time, energy, and talents to serving others and improving, or even saving, lives. We’d like you to meet three such men, each of whom is following his unique passion to make a positive impact on the world.
A Rus Funk
Eliminating Violence Against Women
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s a college student studying social work, Rus Funk volunteered in a women’s shelter for victims of domestic and sexual violence and abuse. Hearing the women’s stories, he noticed similarities in how the women reported being talked about by the men who mistreated them and how the men in his all-male dorm talked about women amongst themselves. “That was the beginning of my recognition that my best work might be with men,” says Rus. As executive director for MensWork, Rus uses his social work background and his community organizing and advocacy skills to help men realize that violence against women impacts them, too. “Every woman who’s ever been victimized has men who love her,” he says, “and they are just as harmed — in very different ways, but just as deeply— as she is.” MensWork focuses on awareness and education and encourages men to do their part to promote safe, respectful male-female interactions. “The vast majority of men respect women and despise rape and domestic violence,” says Rus, “and if we can get more men to voice their opposition to abuse, our work is half done.” Broadening the definition of what it means to be a man is another integral piece of the puzzle. “We don’t see many images of men being kind, being vulnerable, taking responsibility, and being accountable,” Rus says, so MensWork also targets youth groups and male role models in the community to promote images of healthy masculinity. Fighting negative cultural attitudes can be a struggle, but the progress he’s already seen keeps Rus going despite the challenges. “If we continue to do our work well,” he says, “women can be safer. My vision is to reduce and ultimately eliminate the need for women’s shelters in our community.” For more information, visit www.mensworkinc.com. continued on page 14
MenMission
continued from page 12
with a
Mark Hogg
Watering the World
M
ark Hogg first learned about the importance of clean water in college while working on a summer project building a dam in West Africa. He watched masses of people water their animals, gather water for their families, wash clothes, and bathe at a nearby lake. “The contamination was horrid,” he recalls, “and at night, drums would sound to announce that a child had died.” Back then, Mark didn’t fully understand that the deaths were due to waterborne illness and disease. Years later, however, when helping install a water purification system in Kenya, on a mission project with his nonprofit organization, Mark’s African college experience echoed strongly inside him. “For me, it was a culmination of my personal history,” Mark says. He recently renamed and refocused EDGE Outreach to WaterStep and concentrates on providing clean water technology and training. Currently, WaterStep brings water purification, water filtration, community health education, and hand pump repair training programs to developing countries and disaster areas. Mark also sees water as a way to empower women. “In the developing world, women spend most of their time gathering water for their families, and the water they bring back is often full of contamination and water-borne disease. They know they’re feeding their kids something that’s going to make them sick or give them parasites, but they have no other options,” Mark explains. Bringing a more readily available source of clean water to women not only improves the health of their families, but also allows them to have more time and energy for other things, including generating extra income by selling water, ice, or chlorine manufactured through the purification process. In short, says Mark, “Water brings hope.” For more information, visit www.waterstep2.com
Wesley Korir
Fighting Poverty in Kenya Growing up in a Kenyan village, Wesley Korir experienced firsthand what it’s like to be hungry and poor, with no access to health care or education. A scholarship enabled Wesley to go to high school and paved the way for him to come to the University of Louisville, where he excelled as a track athlete. Wesley continued to run after graduation, winning marathons in Chicago, Los Angeles, and, most recently, Boston, and used his winnings to start a foundation to help struggling families in Kenya. “Running is not my life. It is just a stepping stone toward the real calling that God has called me to do, and that’s helping people,” he says. Through the Kenyan Kids Foundation he developed, Wesley is currently helping 40 kids go to high school. “I believe that education is liberation. It opens minds to possibilities,” he says. Wesley is also building a hospital — “A healthy nation is a working nation, is a developing nation,” he says — and helping poor families become more self-sufficient by growing their own crops. “If you help a family, you’re helping the community and you’re helping a country,” says Wesley. Wesley is guided by the motto “leave it better than you found it” in all of his endeavors, and that sense of responsibility, stewardship, and paying it forward is something he strives to instill in the kids he sponsors back home. “What we’re trying to do is build a brotherhood and sisterhood in this group,” he explains. “If we can help our kids have the idea of community and the idea of helping people, they will grow up in that environment of helping others. And that’s my biggest goal in what I do: to pass it on so that chain of helping can continue.” For more information, visit www.kenyankidsfoundation.org.
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Today’s Woman
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Special Delivery Marcus Maraldo became one of our 20 Men when he delivered our Jimmy John’s lunch during an editorial planning meeting.
Men that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month.
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ar e2 0y e ar s ol d!
by ANITA Oldham
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We have eight great husbands making the final cut (page 34) — support great husband skills by voting for your favorite at www.iamtodayswoman.com
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“You would have to be crazy to get into this…”
A Big Imagination Louisville-based designer Scooter Ray is full of energy. “My imagination is beyond overload. It never stops,” he says. This enthusiastic creativity is probably why the designer works in so many different areas of art. Aside from his three fashion lines, he works in makeup, styling, and mural painting. Scooter’s newest fashion line is BROAD, which is dedicated to his mother, but he says all of his work is inspired by his love for his parents.
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s what John Fouts heard from other vineyard owners. John says he now realizes those people were right, but he doesn’t regret opening Grateful Goat Vineyard and Winery in Palmyra, Ind. Now, after a year, they are open five days a week (Wednesday-Sunday, 12-7 p.m., www.gratefulgoat.com) and John has hired his first three part-time employees. “I was raised to think that if you put in the hours and work hard enough that you will be rewarded for your efforts in the end.”
— Tricia Hussung
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Scooter believes that fashion should reflect the individual. “That’s why I only do one-of-a-kind pieces. It really is wearable art,” he says.
Dream Big With a Plan Maurice Valentino, a NYC native who recently moved to Louisville, describes his job as Dream Manager. He says that he bridges having a dream to manifesting it: “We’ve all been told to dream big. The thing they regrettably did not show us, is how.” Valentino likes Louisville’s people — they have made him feel welcome. “Louisville to me is like a giant family reunion,” he says.
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— Tricia Hussung
— Tiffany White
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Jam on Waterfront Wednesdays with these guys August 29
* Brendan Benson * * Jukebox the Ghost * * Whistle Peak * www.wfpk.org
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Today’s Woman
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w w w.simbascastles.com
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You could see Rascal Flatts perform at the Kentucky State Fair! Go to www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine for more details.
5 Guys
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The Smith siblings (l-r): Jeremy, Chris, Me, Joe, John, Jeff
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Welcome the new artistic director at Actors Theatre, Les Waters! Everyone is very excited about his leadership in the new season. Romeo and Juliet starts September 4. www.actorstheatre.org
A Boy Band with a Retro Feel
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We found out about bike restorer Michael Carroll through a search on Craig’s List. He started his own business while going to UofL and has continued it once he got his business degree in hand. Stop into www.oldbikesbelong.com or at 2020 South Preston.
Win Concert Tickets
I grew up with these five men. Five brothers…and no sisters. It made me tougher, appreciative of a good joke, and a smidge more competitive. (I am still working on ways to get even with — especially one of — them!)
They call what they play folk rock. The Hart Strings are four highschoolers who wear ties when they play.
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l-r Grant Oldham, Ted Hartog, Jarred Murray, Gannon Yeaton (and yes, my son is the bass player)
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His Own Brady Bunch Kenny Brooks is part of a real life Brady Bunch family. The 34-year-old Louisville resident already had three sons when he married his wife Becca last year. She had three daughters of her own, so now you can just call them the “Brooks Bunch!” — Tricia Hussung
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Traveling and extreme sports are some of New Albany resident Harrison Hays’s passions, but the inspiration for his business came from an unexpected place — his dog. “It all started because my wife spoiled our little Pomeranian,” he says. From there came the idea for Simba’s Castles, his luxury indoor dog house business, which is named after his pampered pet. He personally builds each castle, and is inspired by local houses along with other famous structures (like the Forbidden City in China!). — Tricia Hussung
A Bicycle Re-Built for You PHOTO BY MELISSA donald
PHOTO BY MELISSA donald
Doggone Crazy
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Miss America’s Father Was in Prison Jeff Kaeppeler, the father of this year’s Miss America, Laura Kaeppeler, will be telling his story as a former inmate and how his family overcame this obstacle at the “Christmas in September” event held in Louisville on September 8. Instead of letting her father’s incarceration control her life, Laura took control and gave this personal family issue a voice to be heard across the country. Her platform is Mentoring Children of Incarcerated Parents. “That’s not fair that (children are) born into those circumstances and have to suffer for something their parent did,” said Laura. She encourages those kids to start “forward thinking” to reach their full potential. The “Christmas in September” event benefits the Prodigal Ministries, which is an aftercare program helping men and women avoid prison return.
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— Alexas Gregory
September 8 at 5:30 p.m. • Marriott Louisville East • Tickets: $150 • 502.386.1473
Setting a Great Example
We applaud Shawn Gardner as he leads an effort in this city to educate men to be better fathers and better examples. The organization he founded, 2Not1 Fatherhood and Family Inc is now in its fifth year! www.2not1.org
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After 10 years of study, Brett Davis earned the Master Sommelier diploma in 2009. In 2010, Brett helped open Doc Crow’s Southern Smokehouse with world-class beverages. Now Brett is at La Coop: Bistro à Vins inside NuLu’s Green Building. Brett’s beverage introductions includes wine infusions and French aperitifs. August
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We heard that Chef John Varanese is a true romantic. Susan Crook tells the story like this: “He created an elaborate fabrication in order to surprise his girlfriend Jeanna before he proposed to her. He pretended to have been asked to cook at wine patriarch Michael Grgich’s 88th birthday dinner. After arriving at the winery in California, he took Jeanna for a bottle of wine in the vineyard, got down on one knee — teary-eyed, pulled out the ring, and proposed. A guy who can cook and cry, sigh!” We found out that Susan, who co-produces John’s TV program Big World of Food, helped match John in the blind date where he met the girl of his dreams.
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Ultimate Frisbee
He Can Suggest a Perfect Drink
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Awww.
Metro Parks will begin accepting softball, kickball, and flag football team registrations (men, women, co-ed) for fall athletic leagues all month at the Louisville Tennis Center, 3783 Illinois Ave. www.metro-parks.org/athletics.
Dr Obaji Comes to Louisville
Beverly Hills Dermatologist Dr. Zein Obaji, the founder of skin health science that is the gold standard in dermatology to treat and rejuvenate the skin, will be at Palace Theatre on September 6 to launch the new ZO® Medical Skin Health products Tickets $40 in advance; $50 at door. Enjoy spirits, hors d’oeuvres and music by Ryan Coxx. Register at www.calospa.com.
Love Works — In Business?
According to Joel Manby, author of Love Works. Seven Timeless Prinicipals for Effective Leaders, it is the way to grow your business. Joel is the CEO of Herschend Family Entertainment company which owns Newport Aquarium — a place many of us have enjoyed. This book’s proceeds all go to the company’s Share it Forward foundation. Today’s Woman
by Bella Portaro
Power Moves
These local men are shaking up our community! Do you know who is who? Larry Bisig CEO of Bisig Impact Group
“My first power move was in 1991 when I started my firm. Hard work, brainpower, and networking have been the keys to my success. You have to reach out if you want to be in the market… It’s organic. I’ve learned you have be comfortable being uncomfortable; it is essential in being an entrepreneur.”
Scott Davenport Bellarmine Head Coach, Men’s Basketball
“The players have put me on the map. Every single day is a power move because, in the game of basketball, you have to constantly redefine yourself… keep changing and improving. The biggest reward from any of that is standing back and letting those young men play and win. Then they go on to graduate and get married. Being there with them and watching them grow, on and off the court, and seeing them succeed is very rewarding.”
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Jeff Hadley CEO of Boys’ and Girls’ Haven
“I came to Boys’ and Girls’ Haven after being at the Home of the Innocents for 12 years. I helped create a program for at-risk kids in the community, which resulted in seven programs serving around 400 kids and families in Jefferson County and surrounding counties. Extending our services to include girls has been a great focus over the last two years. My vision is that we become an educational and vocational vehicle for at-risk youth and those who are aging out of the system to better prepare them for life after they turn 18. We’ve expanded our school and revamped our equine program, which doubles as a training program for the kids vocationally as they age out of the system.”
Aaron Miller
Ryan Coxx
Program Manager at Leadership Louisville Center
Owner at Coxx Events
“After being in radio for 17 years with my last 14 on WXMA 102.3’s morning show, I felt it was a good transition to come over and be the program manager at Leadership Louisville Center because of the philanthropic work I did at the station. My first power move was at the station. I was one of the key people with Make a Wish Foundation’s fundraising event that raised more than $1 million. Louisville has some incredible leaders who genuinely want to work together in the community… In getting to work with them, I’ve seen some incredible stuff going on. A lot of great things are on their way in Louisville.”
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check answers on page 24 to see how you did!
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Co-Owner at League of Xtraordinary Coeds Co-Owner at Wedding Connection
“Creating something from nothing has been my biggest power move. From private parties to my higher profile events, like the Maxim magazine Derby Event… I like playing music and assisting with these events to create a different vibe to help the event be a success. Coxx Events is opening its first commercial office space in Lyndon this summer that will encompass all of the companies I own and co-own; it’s an exciting time.”
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Associate Alumni Director — External Relations at University of Louisville
“For the last 13 years, I have been doing the ‘fun’ things for UofL parties: I’ve been the face of the Alumni Association at events, football games, basketball games, homecoming week, etc. Alumni remember that I treat them well, and they have amazing experiences they remember for the rest of their lives. It’s busy but these events help make people aware of how much they can do to help current and future students at UofL. Homecoming week, coming up this fall, is a huge opportunity for past, present, and future students to see all that UofL and the city have to offer. Revamping homecoming for UofL was my first power move, so that week is always one of my favorites in this city.”
Shawn Reilly
André Wilson
Louisville Political Activist and Financial Advisor
CEO of Style Icon, LLC
“Politics, for me, is the opportunity to change what you see is wrong. I see it as an outlet to help the frustrations I see. Louisville has so much potential to continue growing — in business, politics, and culturally. I’m fortunate to be a part of it.”
“I always tell people to start now if they are going to do something for themselves. People love to feel good about the way they look. Helping people is my biggest power move. It is what I’m passionate about. I help people feel better about themselves; you can’t ask for a more rewarding career. When you feel good about yourself, it is a feeling that comes from the inside out.”
Rick Redman VP of Corporate Communications for Louisville Slugger
“I’m fortunate to be with an influential company. That influence allows us to help a lot of charitable causes. We are asked by many people and organizations for help, and we try to help as many as we can, but it’s just not possible to help everyone. We do a lot on the national front, for example with our pink Louisville Slugger bats that MLB players use on Mother’s Day. Since that program started in 2006, we’ve helped raise more than $1 million for the Susan G. Komen organization. Locally, in addition to being in the thick of our company’s corporate social responsibility, I have been and remain personally involved with a number of civic and charitable organizations like the Louisville Sports Commission, among others. I’m proud that I’ve been able to be part of the LSC and moving Louisville forward in the area of sports business as a tool for economic development.“
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Tommy Mitchell Senior Account Executive at TEKsystems
“I have enabled the successful transition of the U.S. Army Human Resources Command to Ft. Knox by providing hundreds of high-level technical professionals to carry out key projects and help the Army achieve critical missions. My vision is to continue to expand my footprint in the federal government space and take over responsibilities for the Southeast region with business opportunities for the Army.”
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Robbie Valentine Assistant General Manager at KFC Yum! Center
”Before coming to the KFC Yum! Center, I owned my own business, Robbie Valentine Enterprise, That was the first power move. It was 23 years ago when I started, and that led me straight to where I am today. Well, that and the mentors I had, which has really changed the pace of my life. I mentor and volunteer for so many local nonprofits that help kids. That is what got me into the basketball Hall of Fame. The work I do in this community has put me on the map — not just the basketball, but giving back. As my mentors taught me, and I now teach that to kids in our community.” 1. Aaron Miller; 2. Scott Davenport; 3. Ryan Coxx; 4. Larry Bisig; 5. Jeff Hadley; 6. Tommy Mitchell; 7. Jonathan Israel; 8. Rick Redman; 9. Shawn Reilly; 10. Robbie Valentine; 11. André Wilson
Power Moves
Jonathan Israel
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Your go-to spot for professional networking and career-building opportunities around Louisville
BPW- Business and Professional Women- New Albany Every 3rd Monday • 5:30 p.m. Culbertson West 904 E. Main Street New Albany Ann Windell 812.282.9310 BPW- Business & Professional Women- River City Every 2nd Wednesday • Noon Lunch and Program noon-1pm The Bristol-Downtown 614 West Main Street 502.499.4420, www.bpwrc.org bpwreserve@gmail.com EWI- Executive Women International- Kentuckiana Every 3rd Tuesday • 5:30 p.m. Contact for information & reservation Dotty Wettig dw1122@att.com The Heart Link Network Every 1st Wednesday • 6:30 p.m. Inverness at Hurstbourne Condos 1200 Club House Drive Barbara Madore 502.377.8625 www.40222.theheartlinknetwork.com IAAP- International Association of Administrative ProfessionalsLouisville Every 2nd Thursday • 6 p.m. Location Varies – See Website for Details. www.iaap-louisville.org
Legal Secretaries of Louisville Every 3rd Tuesday • 11:30 a.m. Bristol Bar & Grille 614 West Main Street Alice Harris 502.595.2310 #339 aharris@louisvilleprosecutor.com www.legalseclou-ky.org MLWPC- Metropolitan Louisville Women’s Political Caucus Every 4th Monday • 5:30 p.m. Olmsted Bistro at Masonic Homes 3701 Frankfort Avenue Sherry Conner 502.776.2051 mayorconner@insightbb.com NAWBO- National Association of Women Business Owners Every 3rd Tuesday info@nawbolouisville.org www.nawbolouisville.org National Association of Women in Construction Every 2nd Monday • 5:30 p.m. Call for meeting location Patty Stewart 812.288.4208 #121 Network Now Every 2nd Friday • 11:30 a.m. Hurstbourne Country Club 9000 Hurstbourne Club Lane Lee Ann Lyle 502.836.1422 lee@lalcomputers.com
All listings are on a per month basis. To list your meeting free of charge in the calendar, email us your meeting date, time, location, a contact phone number, and website to advertising@todayspublications.com, call 502.327.8855 ext. 14 or fax to 502.327.8861. Deadline for inclusion is five weeks prior to issue date (example: July 25 for September issue). We will confirm receipt of your changes.
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NIA Women’s Roundtable Every 4th Friday • 8:30 a.m. NIA Center 2900 West Broadway – 3rd floor Suzanne Carter 502-775-2548 suzannec@morethanconsultants.org Southern Indiana Women’s Networking Group Every 3rd Wednesday • 11:30 a.m. Holiday Inn-Lakeview 505 Marriott Drive * Clarksville Email Lisa Stinnett for RSVP: lisa.stinnett@elwoodstaffing.com WIN- Women in Networking Every 2nd Wednesday • 11:15 a.m. Oxmoor Country Club 9000 Limehouse Lane WIN- Women in Networking II Every 3rd Wednesday • 11:30 a.m. Fern Valley Conference Center 2715 Fern Valley Road Kim Fusting 502.267.7066 kimins@bellsouth.net www.win3louisville.com WIN- Women in Networking III Every 2nd Tuesday • 11:30 a.m. Hurstbourne Country Club 9000 Hurstbourne Club Lane Charlaine Reynolds 502.742.5802 charlaine.reynolds@gmail.com OR Stephanie Riggle 502.554.4753 stephanie.riggle@ grannynannies-ky.com www.win3louisville.com WIN- Women in Networking IV Every 3rd Tuesday • 11:30 a.m. Corner Café 9307 New LaGrange Road Amanda Smith 502.807.1781 info@win4louisville.org
WIN - Women in Networking V Every 2nd Thursday • 11:30 a.m. Buca di Beppo 2051 S. Hurstbourne Parkway Lee Ann Lyle 502-836-1422 info@win5networking.com www.win5networking.com WOAMTEC-Women On A Mission To Earn Commission Every 2nd and 4th Wednesday 11:30 a.m. Edesia Gardens 10212 Taylorsville Road Charlene Burke 812.951.3177 www.woamtec.com Women’s Business Center of KY –
funded in part by a cooperative agreement with the SBA
Every 1st Friday Roundtable * • 8:30 a.m. Location – TBA Sharron Johnson 502.566.6076 #104 sjohnson@cvcky.org www.cvcky.org/womensbusiness center.html Women’s Council of Realtors Every 3rd Thursday • 11:30 a.m. Wildwood Country Club 5000 Bardstown Rd. Lynda Minzenberger 502.552.8768 lynda@catalystrealty.net ZONTA- Advancing The Status of Women Every 1st Thursday • 6:00 p.m. Logan’s Steakhouse 5005 Shelbyville Road Joyce Cain 502.339.8682 membership@zontaclubof louisville.com
todAy’s Today’s WomAn Woman
Sponsored by:
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
2012 2012 august August
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Bachelors in Black & White By Tiffany White / Photos by Melissa Donald
“I am a hard worker and very motivated to be able to provide for my future wife and kids.”
Michael Thomas Osbourn Age: 29 President of Mike Osbourn Lawn Care, Inc.
“The perfect date for me would be any situation where I am able to make a personal connection with a woman.”
Thomas G. Dreher, Jr. Age: 51 Commander of the Louisville Metro Police Department Crimes Against Children Unit
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Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
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Bachelors in Black & White
Stephen Edward Smith Age: 62 Partner with the law firm Goldberg Simpson , LLC
“I am successful. I am also outgoing, love to have fun, be spontaneous, and I enjoy the simple things in life.”
“The perfect date is comfortable; can be anywhere, any expense, planned or spontaneous.”
Mike Reed Age: 37 Account Executive, U.S. Bank
Read about our bachelors on page 32
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Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
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M
ichael finishes whatever he starts. His landscaping business keeps his workdays full and he also attends Louisville Bible College with the intent of becoming a pastor. This Marine veteran, who served for six years, says he values the importance of treating people with respect. “As a Christian, I try to be the best example I can be towards others. I continue to trust in my faith and when the storm picks up, I realize there will always be a brighter day. I forgive and forget and move forward.” Hobbies: Basketball, golf, camping, hiking, electric guitar, live bands, dancing, movies, poker, board games, horse racing, jet skiing, ping pong, bonfires, gardening, reading, traveling, volunteering. What he looks for in a woman: ”Someone who will take care of me and I will help her any way I can. Loyal, caring, responsible and most importantly have God placed center in her life. A positive personality, in shape, and a partner for my soul!” Turn-off: Smoking. Why he is a good catch: “I’m successful in business while all the while striving for spiritual growth. I’m in shape and ready for any adventure.” Describe yourself as a car: “Light blue, no rust, sun roof, and never have to carry jumper cables in the trunk. I can play music all day without the battery going low while I’m getting waxed. I take diesel and like to be heard above all the other noises on the road. I work best when I have a full tank. Usually I park sideways so I don’t get hit.”
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onsistency and stability are valuable to Thomas, who has served for more than 30 years in law enforcement. But don’t let the police badge fool you: He says he is a big fan of the comedy movie, Zoolander and enjoys sharing his humorous side with others. “I will make you laugh,” Thomas says. He strives to maintain a cordial relationship with everyone despite the circumstances. “I am able to put personal differences aside for the greater good. Because I have to depend on a variety of people to accomplish my work, and a variety of people depend on me, I cannot afford to burn any bridges and do not believe in doing so.”
Hobbies: Exercising, listening to music, reading, watching movies, traveling. What do you look for in a woman? Honesty, loyalty, personality, and a good sense of humor. what Turns you off: Smoking. Why are you a good catch? “Because I am an honest, loyal, humble, and God-fearing man.”
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ommitment is the bedrock of Stephen’s life. Married to his late wife Kathy for 38 years, Stephen took a leave of absence from work to care for her when she was diagnosed with lung cancer. “He is a man for all seasons and whatever life’s storms, he strides through them with dignity, grace and an over-abundance of love for all mankind,” says friend Tami Cassis. Stephen shares his generosity and caring nature with organizations such as Kosair Children’s Hospital and the Children’s Hospital Foundation. Before his wife’s death, Stephen and Kathy helped create a toy cart named “Jarrett’s Joy Cart” in honor of their best friends’ nephew who lost his life to pediatric cancer. The cart contains toys, books, and games that are given to cancer patients at Kosair Children’s Hospital. Hobbies: “Formerly racquetball at a fairly high level…following knee replacement surgery in September 2011, I have become a full-time golfer.“ Turn-off: Self-centered people. Having the blessings of a wonderful life and not sharing them. Not taking care of your body and mind. Why he is a good catch: “That is in the eye of the beholder. I have, though, come to the conclusion that I don’t have a lot of baggage that some others do — I have a small carry-on. I’m just a poor old lawyer with a new knee.” Best decision: ”Probably getting married in the first place. I probably would have been a lot lazier, and noncommittal. Kathy taught me how to laugh, what work was all about, and how to be a decent parent.” Describe yourself as a car: “That old ‘56 Chevy that ran forever, always started when you needed it to, and runs pretty good for its age.“
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Celebrating
Years/looking back
1991 — 2011
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Our Handy Men article showed off the hands-on men in our community. From doctors to artists, we got the inside scoop on how these men take care of their most important tools: their hands.
b. a.
Handy Men
f.
A man’s hands can say a lot about his history and his vulnerability. All of these men rely on their hands to make a living and make a difference. Match the hands to the man.
>>
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c. d.
On Top
2012
What he looks for in a woman: Attraction, sense of humor, outgoing personality, confidence. Turn-off: Negativity. perfect date: “Maybe a picnic on higher ground somewhere with the city skyline in the distance.” If you were an animal, what would it be? “A leopard: fast and a pretty creature.” If you are interested in contacting these men, send an email to bachelors@todayspublications.com
By Kim Kerby
of
Their Game
They set the goal, reach it, and win every time. Meet three men whose winning contributions make them champions in the game of life.
By Tiffany WhiTe and aniTa OldhaM PhOTOs By JaMes MOses sTyling By Wendy anguianO lOcaTiOn: hOOPs
Having a Ball
MEDIA SPONSORS:
Howard Abraham might not know how to make the perfect jump shot on the basketball court, but he plays tough in the courtroom. A social worker for Child Protective Services, Howard handles previously investigated cases of abused and neglected children with the intent of creating a better life for them and their families. “I spend time collaborating with other professionals, school systems, and attorneys in order to effectuate positive changes for the families I serve…my focus with each case is to eliminate the barriers which brought them to the attention of Child Protective Services in the first place,” he says. He also focuses on improving the environment through promoting recycling.
WAVE 3 and The Max 102.3 Contributing Sponsor:
Howard is wearing: caribbean Khaki pants, $43; Kroon Pinstripe vest, $88; Tre Vero hat, $15; daniel cremierex belt, $42; Thomas dean shirt, $61; cole haan shoes, $148, all from dillard’s.
AUGUST
Hobbies: “Spending time with my son, outdoor activities, watching and playing sports, mixed martial arts, competing in anything.”
Howard might not have been a star athlete, but he sure is a superstar when it comes to Child Protective Services. This picture of him from our 2010 Man Issue is full of character. From his happy-go-lucky grin to his colorful undershirt, this picture is a standout.
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ike Reed has learned to adapt to the hardships of life and still maintain a positive attitude. When his wife died three years ago, Mike gracefully transitioned into the role of a single parent, says his friend Nancy Monzon. “Since then, he has focused all of his attention on being the best father and mother he can be to Pierce.” Mike describes himself as a “kid at heart” whose top priorities are God and his 7-year-old son.
Congratulations on 20 Years
hree years ago, Today’s Woman magazine decided to mix things up by letting men be the subject of one month’s issue of Today’s Woman. Now, in our annual Man Issue, we have a good time exploring how the other half lives and thinks.
Candidates
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A u g u s t
2 0 1 0
t o d a y ’ s
w o m a n
w w w . i a m t o d a y s w o m a n . c o m
2 0 1 0
A u g u s t
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Blades
Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
2012
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Odd The
couple
By Holly Gregor / photos by Melissa Donald
L
ee Robinson and Joe Kelley might become a business match made in heaven. The two men are combining their businesses to offer something entirely new. Lee Robinson of The Lee W. Robinson Company, a national interior design firm, and Joe Kelley of Kelley Construction, Inc., a national family-owned commercial and industrial construction company, have joined forces to create Robinson Kelley, Concierge Residential Renovation & Construction.
Joe Kelley (left) and Lee Robinson have joined companies.
Lee, a former banker who’s been in the design business for 13 years, approached Joe at a Young Presidents Organization party with the idea of forming a company together, yet keeping their original businesses intact. “We clicked,” says Joe. “No one in the country is doing this,” adds Lee, “at least not that I know of.” The concept of joining a high-end designer with a construction company is unique in itself, but to offer a concierge service is very unusual. What that means is that RobinsonKelley will offer their clients the utmost service in the ground up, renovation, and residential interior design business. A few examples of services include airport service, lunch and dinner service, remote status check-in technology, and direct access to the company’s principals. With Lee’s talent for high-end interior design and Joe’s talent for specialized construction, both men can focus on what they do best. “His construction section was hindering his ability to design,” explains Joe. Conversely, Joe didn’t have a design division in his construction company. The thing these two men do have in common is their strong ambition and desire to give the best service to their clients. Both men have been exposed to the best services out there, so they know what’s expected. Given the economic climate of late, Lee was particularly aware of partnering with an equally secure individual. “I knew I could weather the storm, and I knew Joe could too,” says Lee. Although both companies were strong in their respective markets, they were still limited in achieving this type of exclusive service on their own. Lee has a presence in St. Matthews with his retail store and design firm located in the Colony Center, where Robinson Kelley is also now located right next door. Having worked with many of Louisville’s most established residents, Lee is firmly rooted in the highend interior design business. “I’ve always wanted the best!” he says. Thus the reason behind his choices of opulent designs with rich fabrics, exquisite antiques, and rare paintings. Joe’s work experience has been different from Lee’s. Joe’s father started Kelley Construction, Inc. 34 years ago. Joe started working summers in high school and then went straight into
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the business. Having a few more years of work under his belt at an early age, Joe has built the company up to 150 employees including his brother, Mark, at the helm with him, his daughter and son, and Mark’s son. Kelley Construction works on specialized jobs, ranging from the health industry to food service to petroleum and energy construction. Given their success, Kelley Construction has its own building and campus located in Blankenbaker Station Business Park. “This is a huge opportunity to service people,” says Lee, referring to a concierge business style. Combining the two under one umbrella creates more of a one-stop, shopping experience. “The (home) owner gets a team,” he adds. To build and design a custom house, the typical professionals required are an architect, builder, and designer, each working for separate companies. Sometimes architects and high-end designers do work for the same company, but having a specialized builder and high-end designer work for the same company is a unique approach. “It’s a different mindset. The architect is taking a back seat. The benefits to the owners are that everyone is on the same team, working for them. When you don’t have a cohesive team, it’s very segmented,” explains Joe. This way, pointing fingers at others for mistakes or missed deadlines is alleviated. One of the best benefits for Joe’s and Lee’s clients is the cost savings gained by streamlining the process, according to the two men. “We are getting a smaller piece of a larger number,” explains Joe. “There is a cost to our service, but we are trying to lower that cost for an overall value experience.” The word ‘transparency,’ in regards to cost and services provided, is mentioned several times during our interview. “In construction, it’s much easier to define scope and cost. In interior design some things are one-of-a-kind,” explains Joe. “Very seldom do you get accountability with creativity. Take these two brands, and you get accountability and creativity at the same time.” “We do it like businessmen,” says Lee. “We are taking a professional approach: on time, within budget, and makeeveryone-feel-wonderful service!” “That’s a wonderful thing,” says Joe, smiling. Today’s Woman
Hooray FOR
The Great Husband contest is back and we’re ready for you to start voting at www.iamtodayswoman.com. Take a look at this year’s nominees to see who you think should win a romantic dinner from Winston’s Restaurant!
Great Husbands! Joey Brown,
Age: 31
“He is willing to help with ANYTHING and is usually the first to get up in the middle of the night if either of our kids wakes up!”
Ted Gordon,
Dan Kessler,
Age: 42
“He feels so blessed to have us in his life, but we are the lucky ones for having him in ours.”
Age: 67
“On the weekends, when it is warm outside, he has coffee, a mimosa, and fresh waffles with fruit waiting on the deck for me when I get up.”
Mike Helton,
David Muhammad,
Age: 42
“This wonderful man supported me and our family while I finished graduate school.”
Age: 54
“He decided to pursue a life dream and went to college as a very nontraditional student in a non-traditional career.”
Sean Little,
by Tiffany White
Ed Stewart,
Age: 56
“He takes time to decide on making the right decision on our many decisions we have had to face in our life together.”
Age: 34
“Regardless of what people said, and how many obstacles were put in his way, he didn’t give up.”
Larry Wooldridge,
Age: 49
“He knows how I drink my coffee each morning, and has never left without kissing me, looking into my eyes and saying, ‘I love you.’”
Vote for your favorite at www.iamtodayswoman.com and read more about why each one is a great husband! 36
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Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
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A Taste of Kentucky Indulge your creative self with the unique glass jewelry of local artist Clair Raabe. Available in all of our stores. Downtown in the Aegon Center 400 West Market Facing 4th St. 502.566.4554 Mall St. Matthews by the Women’s Dillard’s 502.895.2733
Home furniture, furnishings and accessories, including Abby Glen jewelry, Candleberry candles, Cinda B bags and totes, Palecek Quality Furniture plus many more. Store hours: Monday – Friday: 10:00 to 5:30 Saturday: 10:00 to 4:00
Window World GIVING BACK Receiving the 2011 Partners in Philanthropy award for small business was an honor, but the true reward is our work with children at the Kids Center of Louisville, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, and helping our wounded warriors through the Veterans Airlift Command. Please join our cause. Window World owner Barry Foster is a U.S. Army Veteran.
Home and Leisure, LLC
Located in the Prospect Pointe Center 9553 U.S. Highway 42 502.228.1366
Locally owned by Barry & Kim Foster 502.671.7777 • WindowWorldLouisville.com
STYLE CALENDAR
A party room for parties for all ages or groups, and offering corporate shopping and fundraisers.
A Mother’s Touch August 4 • Saturday, 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Limo Hop Event Call 502.253.9477
A Taste of Kentucky August 1-31
Your BBQ headquarters 502.895.2733
A Mother’s Touch Personalized Jewelry
Specializing in Mother’s, Grandmother’s, Children’s, Spirit and Themed jewelry. Established in 1999, A Mother’s Touch has the largest selection of charms, engravables, jewelry repair and personalized gifts for any occasion, including Posh Mommy, and featuring Trollbeads & Chamilia.
Dr. H. Fred Preuss, Jr. August 1-31
12312 B Shelbyville Road • 502.253.9477 www.amotherstouchjewelry.com facebook.com/amotherstouchpersonalizedjewelry
4 Office Locations • FDA-approved laser treatment for toenail fungus. Call 812.923.9837
Home and Leisure, LLC August 1-31
Visit our new showroom for unique furnishings 502.228.1366
Sophie’s Fine Yarn Shoppe August 1-31 Call for our class schedule. 502.244.4927 • sophiesfineyarn.com Window World America’s Largest Remodeling Company Offers a Huge Selection of Windows, Siding, Gutters, Roofing & More! 502.671.7777
Sophie’s Fine Yarn Shoppe Visit, browse, and let us assist you with all your knitting and crocheting needs. Our shop is conveniently located in the Stonefield Square Shopping Center next to the Fresh Market. Open 7 days with a wide selection of yarn and accessories. 10482 Shelbyville Road 502.244.4927 • www.sophiesfineyarn.com —ADVERTISEMENT—
Classes available.
Dr. H. Fred Preuss, Jr. Board Certified TOO EMBARRASSED TO GO BAREFOOT?
Sullivan College of Technology & Design Do you have an eye for design?
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Turn your hobby into a career with an Interior Design degree from SCTD! Visit www.sctd.edu/interior_design.asp or call 502.456.6509. 3901 Atkinson Square Drive Louisville, KY 40218
S M A R T S T Y L E S
Stretching their Limitations
“ I
AUGUST
Don’t take anything for granted.
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n 2009, James Crumley was a year and a half out of Spalding University. The accounting major was working his first job. He had a gorgeous girlfriend. He was excited about getting out on his own. He was 24. Athletic. Ready to take on the world. Invincible, so he thought. Until he got a call informing him he needed heart surgery. “It was like somebody pulled the rug out from under me,” Crumley says. “I had so much to do still, so much life to live, and the fact that I might lose that — lose everything — was crushing.” In 2006, Crumley was diagnosed with a mitral valve prolapse. Crumley’s mitral valve, which separates the upper and lower chambers of the left side of his heart, wasn’t closing properly. Left untreated, the malfunctioning valve could cause blood to leak backward in the heart, which could lead to heart failure. But Crumley was told not to worry. The doctors would make sure the situation didn’t get worse. But it did. “From 2008 to 2010, my heart turned into a ticking time bomb,” Crumley says. Crumley was sent to the Cleveland Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, where a surgeon told him that on a scale of zero to four, with four being the worst a valve could get, Crumley was a four-plus. He needed surgery now. Crumley says it was his mother, Kimberly Crumley, who gave him strength to get through the surgery and recovery. “Growing up, it was just me and her, and we went through some hard times,” Crumley says. “I got strength from her because she’s gone through so much. She’s my hero. “Strength, in my opinion, is derived from the people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with people who are confident, strong-willed, and morally sound, you in turn will become like that.” The surgery was scary — Crumley’s lungs partially collapsed during it — but successful. Afterward, Crumley had a changed heart, both physically and figuratively. “I had a new outlook on life,” Crumley says. “I got serious with Megan (Crumley’s wife as of June), and I try to make the best of everything.” Crumley still faces limitations from his heart condition, such as not being able to scuba dive on his honeymoon in the Cayman Islands. But he stays active managing Dick’s Sporting Goods at the Oxmoor Mall and spending time with his wife and daughter, six-month-old Scarlett. He says he now lives by one rule: “Don’t take anything for granted.”
James Crumley
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By Jessica Smith / photos: Melissa Donald
2012
Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
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“
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A warrior keeps fighting even when things get bad.
Steve Ramser
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S
teve Ramser, 56, has been running nearly every day for the last 30 years. He logs four or five miles most days. To him, running is part health maintenance, part stress relief, a lot identity. He knows well the steady beat of shoe on ground, the rhythm of breath, the timpani of heartbeat. On March 14, 2012, he went out for a routine 5-miler. His heart sped up; his breath quickened; all typical for the runner. But when he got back home and sat down, his breath should have slowed. His heartbeat should have tempered. Ramser wasn’t in pain — he just couldn’t catch his breath. He could barely walk to the door to get to the hospital. The doctors agreed: “You’re an A-fib.” Atrial fibrillation, Ramser was told, is a heart condition in which two chambers of the heart (the atria) contract quickly and irregularly, causing the two lower chambers (the ventricles) to not receive blood as they should. It was like running up a hill as hard as you can, one nurse said, and then when reaching the top, being told to keep running. “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to run again,” Ramser says. “I was afraid I might not be around to see my new grandbaby.” After that initial diagnosis, Ramser was sent home with an order to stop running. But he wasn’t scheduled for another appointment until April — something he was nervous enough about to switch doctors. The next heart specialist he found scheduled him for March 27 — and told him then that he would be OK to run again. A-fib, the doctor explained, was something that was usually controllable and occasional. On March 31, Ramser took his first run since discovering his A-fib. “I was nervous about running when I took off,” Ramser says. “You just think, ‘What happens if you have another incident and can’t get home?’ But strength is about how strong you are physically and mentally.” Now, Ramser is back to running every day. His challenges aren’t over: He’s scheduled for a bursectomy surgery on his hip in October. He’s still battling for his health, but he says that a modern-day warrior is someone who keeps fighting when things get rough.
Today’s Woman
www.iamtodayswoman.com / www.facebook.com/todayswomanmagazine / @todayswomannow
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“
Don’t complain. Just work harder.
H
LA-B27. It sounds like a topsecret code. A key to enter a restricted area. HLA-B27 is a protein produced by a human gene, and its detection finally unlocked the mystery of Markus Williams’ seven-year battle with back pain and fatigue.
Markus Williams
Williams, who lives in Lexington, can count off the numbers like a kid counts off baseball statistics: 12 misdiagnoses. Pain since 2001 — he could barely put his socks on in the morning through the stiffness. Six different doctors. Thousands of dollars. No relief. The former college track star hit
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dead ends everywhere until he came down with irisitis, or inflammation of the iris of the eye. The infection reminded him of an article he’d found online that said irisitis is a common symptom of ankylosing spondylitis (AS) — in its basic form, rheumatoid arthritis of the spine. Williams printed the article and scheduled an appointment to be tested for the HLA-B27 genetic marker, which 95 percent of people with AS have. “Basically, you can say I diagnosed myself,” Williams says. “It wasn’t officially closure, but it was good to know there was a reason why I was in so much pain because I was in my 20s and just getting out of college on the track team.” His doctor told him that to decrease the risk of spinal fusion from AS, Williams would need to stay active, which he has to an exceptional degree. He competes annually in the Louisville Triple Crown of running, has completed numerous 5K and 10K races, and also participates in Warrior Dash and Tough Mudder obstacle courses. “I have to set a goal,” Williams says. “Every day working out, you can get discouraged because sometimes the pain — you don’t feel like doing it. But the small pain you have from a daily workout will be less than the pain you’re going to get from not working out.” Williams, now 33, doesn’t let AS slow him down, whether he’s competing, working full-time as a computer systems engineer, running his own T-shirt business, or growing his hair out for Locks of Love. “Strength is more than power,” Williams says. “Strength correlates more to heart and determination. For you to face your obstacles headon with a positive attitude is the definition of strength to me.”
Today’s Woman
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ddiction isn’t limited to the junkie on the street. It affects men and women in all walks of life. It doesn’t matter how much money you have or what your social status is; no one is immune. Look at the headlines in the media and you will see movie stars and television personalities, athletes and coaches, politicians and civic leaders, religious figures and wealthy individuals suffering from a variety of addictions from drugs and alcohol to eating disorders, compulsive spending, gambling, or sexual addiction. Paul Schmidt, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist and nationally certified sex addiction therapist. He says that all types of addictions have similar brain chemistry and there are three primary motivations for addicts: •T o take a time out. To relax and numb out. The sedative addiction. • For excitement. The high. Could be done with amphetamines or it could be a physical thing. • Fantasy. Something fosters the imagination; for example, a sex addict who gets the most aroused by the thrill of the chase or the imagination. It’s not the actual sex, but the fantasy or romance of what it might mean if you get with a certain person. The fantasy could also be achieved with drugs such as LSD. Unfortunately, Dr. Schmidt says that kicking one habit makes the person prone to another substitute addiction. “Sometimes an alcohol addict will drink to imagine he’s a great person, so when he’s in a bar, flirting, he’s having a fantasy,” Schmidt says. “So if you shut that down, he’s vulnerable to a sex addiction or a different drug that gives him the same kind of high. This is why, traditionally, the AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) rooms are filled with smoke.”
Our Today’s Woman of Wellness panel talks about how the addictions of friends and family have affected their lives.
If you have experienced three or more of these behaviors, you are likely addicted to substances such as: cigarettes, alcohol, legal or illegal drugs, gambling, food, or sex. • Impulse control (can’t resist it) • Broken plans (the substance is more important than the plan) • Can’t quit (or keep starting) • Preoccupation or obsession (thoughts of doing it intrude) • Loss of needed time or money • Irresponsibility (occurs during times you have other obligations) • Social fallout (negative consequences from friends, family or co-workers) • Social dropout (skipping social, occupational, or recreational activities in order to use the substances or do the activity) • Behavioral escalation or tolerance (it takes more money, or risk, or substance to get the same emotional relief) • Withdrawal symptoms (mood changes, such as irritation, tension, or despair when unable to get the substance or do the activity)
Are you addicted or just having a good time? Schmidt says, “The difference is that a good time is good for all involved. It doesn’t happen every day, and there isn’t social fallout because of it. The addict uses alcohol or drugs or whatever substance to celebrate a good time and make the good time better.” Addiction can also have physical health consequences, including lung and cardiovascular disease, stroke, cancer, HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis B and C, and mental disorders. Consequences of addiction can impact others, including infants and children. Examples can be prenatal exposure to drugs, negative effects of secondhand smoke, and increased spread of sexually transmitted diseases. That’s not to mention the psychological effects of addiction on loved ones of any age who have to watch and live with the addict. The good news is that addictions can be treated. Individualized medications combined with behavioral therapy can help.
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By Cheryl Stuck
10 Signs of Addiction
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Addiction Hurts
Knows someone addicted to cigarettes and alcohol: “Getting a fix took priority over everything else in life and this person missed several key moments in my life due to being out getting a fix instead of being present at the event. This person is now dealing with several medical complications due to tobacco and alcohol abuse.” Diane Kissel, IS Director
Knows someone who was addicted to prescription drugs: “As I did not live with her, the effect on me was minimal. However, I saw how it affected her family and close relatives. The drug use was especially stressful and humiliating to this particular family. [She would] go into people’s homes that she knew had recently had surgery, a baby, or injuries and steal the [prescription drugs] from them.” Janie Watts, Media Specialist at JCPS
Knows someone who was addicted to cigarettes: “My father has smoked since he was 12. He was 58 when he passed away due to a blockage going to the heart. You can see what effects [smoking] has on the body. It ages your skin and changed my father’s gray hair to yellow, plus his health was not good. I don’t smoke, and I try to eat right and stay active. We only have a short time on this earth, and I’m going to live every moment to the best that I can be.” Dee Jay Kelly, Public Educator at Harrods Creek Fire Department Advisory group members are: Margie Beeler • Susan Boddy • Christie Bollinger, RN • Sherrice Bond • Kim Broecker • Jennifer Brown • Linda Burry • Kimberly Carpenter, DC • Tamella Buss Cassis, MD • Holly Clark • Stacy Cohen, RN • Diane Collins, RN • Pat Cooke • Funmilayo Dixon • Laurie Duesing • Kelly Davis Fleenor • Tanya Franklin, MD • Julie Garrison, MBA • Carol Graham, MD • Dawn Hayden • Pam Hayden, RN • Mary Haynes • Gretchen Houchin • Mary Jennings • Alexis Karageorge, MD • Dee Jay Kelly • Tomiko Coates Kiefer • Diane Kissel • Kristi Jedlicki Levenhagen • Melissa Little • Sean Maguire, MD • Geri Manning • Lisa Mattingly • David McArthur • Anne McReynolds • Tara Morris • Maria Munoz • Tina Nuttall, MBA, FACHE • Denise Orwick, RPh • Betsy Paulley • Mae Pike • Leesa Richardson, MD • Ticonna Roberts • Cheryl Scanlon • Rhonda Sigler • Burke Stephens • Rebecca Terry, MD • Myrdin Thompson • Deborah Tuggle • Lannette VanderToll • Jessica Walker • Marine Walls • Janie Biagi Watts • Cenia L. Wedekind • Anthony Westmoreland, RPh • Cathi Wiley • Kathy Wilkinson • Debbie Williams • Allison Young, LMT
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o If you love an addict: Paul Schmidt, Ph.D., offers the following advice. 1. You didn’t cause it. 2. You can’t control it. 3. You can’t cure it.
Want to help? Remember these ‘don’ts’: •D on’t collude or join in with the behavior (get drunk with the person or bring home porn). • Don’t minimize or ignore the behavior. • Don’t manipulate by making deals or sending over other people to try to talk to the person. • Don’t become obsessed with what the addict is doing or thinking. • Don’t take on the addict’s responsibilities, do his or her duties, pay his or her bills, etc. • Don’t compromise your own morals or conscience to pacify the addict. • Don’t pick a fight, try to shame, punish, or get even. • Don’t judge, such as by saying, “I know you can stop,” or “I know you’re lying.” • Don’t play the martyr. • Don’t play therapist or try to predict, explain, or figure out the addict’s behavior. Let an objective professional do that.
What you (the non-addicted) can do: • Tell the truth. • Withhold anything the person abuses, whether it’s money, alcohol, the children, or sex. • Leave the addict alone. Stop paying attention to or spending time with him or her. The key here is to not let the person see how much he or she ticks you off, but that his or her actions turn you off. • Take better care of yourself socially, financially, and physically. • Do something you’re good at for yourself or for other people.
Our Today’s Woman of Wellness panel talks about how the addictions of friends and family have affected their lives. Knows someone addicted to alcohol: “I participated in his intervention resulting in a hospital admission. Regrettably, it failed. While intellectually I appreciate my role cannot change the situation, I grieve for the losses they suffer. He lost his family and then his career.” Mary Haynes, CEO Administrator
Knows someone who was addicted to cigarettes and alcohol: “During my adolescence, my mom began drinking, and so I feel like she was absent during a crucial time of my development. She really was a great mom, and up until the time of my parent’s divorce, before the drinking, she had been so involved in taking us to church and being involved in activities. Alcoholism created a lot of issues for her in her job, and at one point, her job was in jeopardy. I’m blessed that my mom went through treatment and we were able to rebuild our relationship, but the disease took a tremendous toll.” Cathi Wiley, Director of Business Development at Park Community Credit Union
Knows someone addicted to alcohol: “The alcoholic was married to a very good friend of mine who is left to raise their kids alone. He lost his job and got divorced. He ended up homeless and was unable to pay child support.” Debbie Williams, Project Coordinator for AquaPro Painting
Knows someone who was addicted to cigarettes and alcohol: “This person was not only addicted to cigarettes and alcohol but also had a mental illness. Due to the alcohol addiction, his antidepressants would not work correctly, causing him to have extreme highs and lows. I loved him and had to see him go through such extremes due to his addictions. It caused me pain and constant worry about what he would do next.” Melissa Little, Co-owner of Little Eatz LLC
Knows someone addicted to cigarettes: “She has had chronic bronchitis and now has COPD. She goes into pneumonia very easily if she gets a cold or bronchitis. She is younger but looks older than me. She has started losing her teeth, and her skin always looks ashen in color. Also, her face is very wrinkled. I worry about her all the time, and I’m afraid I’m going to lose her to cancer or a heart attack one day.” Pat Cooke, Bookkeeper
Knows someone addicted to alcohol: “This person was charming and engaging and warm (and a boyfriend at the time), but as I began to understand the seriousness of his drinking, I realized I’d never be able to fully trust him. I tried to help and eventually realized I could not after a healthy stint in Al-Anon for myself. His first loyalty was to the bottle, so lying, exaggerating, understating, and withholding were common in all his relationships.” Laurie Duesing, part-time Latin instructor at UofL and Louisville Classical Academy
Knows someone who was addicted to cigarettes, alcohol, and illegal drugs: “He was verbally and physically abusive at times, and this resulted in the end of our relationship. His addiction caused him to lose jobs, and he resorted to crime. Some family members and friends cut ties with him. He ended up being arrested and incarcerated. We did not have any contact for 22 years until he got clean and sober and made amends. [He kicked the habit by] undergoing treatment and attending 12-step meetings.” Kristi Jedlicki, Program Director at the St. John Center for Homeless Men
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B O N S I’M A
The Man Snob By Megan Seckman
A little Q-and-A with man-snob Jason Jennings (floral and interior designer) Jason Jennings — Floral and interior Designer
Photos by Melissa Donald
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lenty of men in Louisville are snobs, but few are comfortable admitting it. Floral and interior designer Jason Jennings is an exception; his self-awareness is refreshing and unparalleled. When I met Jennings at 2:30 on a Crescent Hill coffee shop’s patio, glass of white wine in hand, the first thing he wanted to know was how I found him. “Well, Jason, whenever I asked for candidates for man-snobs, your name kept coming up,” I replied. “Interesting,” was his curt response, followed by a small, satisfied smile. his is a man’s issue, so what snobberies do you have Q: T about men? A: One word: Manscaping. Q: Manscaping? ou know, maintaining the man image. You should literally A: Y look good from head to toe. Trim nose hair, ear hair, hair popping out of a polo — nasty! I mean, it takes a second, and it doesn’t hurt. Same goes for toes; if you are going to wear flipflops, trim your toes. mm. What about attire? Anything men should avoid Q: H like the plague? A: L ouisville men wear too many blue shirts and khaki pants. If I see that uniform again, I’m going to throw up (in walks a guy in a blue shirt and khaki pants) — see what I mean? It’s boring and too safe, blah. It’s not that hard to pick up an InStyle magazine. It will show you what to wear if you don’t know.
Q: I ’m now realizing I’m surrounded by emailers and Facebookers all clad in blue and khaki. They have no idea how robotic they all appear. I see what you are saying. (Out of a newfound nervousness about my own fashion sense, I asked this): What about no-no’s for women? earing the tennis outfit or yoga outfit all day long. I know A: W these people don’t exercise that much; it’s just because everyone gets too lazy to change. Same goes with Crocs. Crocs are for the garden, not for getting your hair cut or going to the grocery store. ou are an interior designer. I’m sure you see some Q: Y homes that disturb you. What snobberies do you have about home design? A: S ilk flowers outside drive me absolutely insane. If a client has them, they are the first things to go. Hanging fake ferns is another thing that bothers me. Get a real one; they’re cheap. Everything has to be so easy and maintenance-free these days. And fake ivy — gone are the days when you have to put fake ivy on the hutch. I also hate the complete Pottery Barn/cookie-cutter house. You have to mix things up with different colors, woods, and metals. A house should have your personality, not some marketer’s. A McMansion with beige walls and vaulted ceilings is just an expanse of nothingness. Everyone needs color. So true, Jason, so true.
I’m A Snob About… will be an ongoing column.
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