thislife magazine issue 9

Page 1

Issue 9

thislife

FREE www.thislife.org.za

in search of meaning

How to be imperfect and still enjoy life

Teachers and teens:

what they really think

Green stuff

Deeply trendy tapas

you’ll love

WIN!

Great prizes

How I forgave the man who maimed me

‘I HATE GETTING WET’

World champion Kevin Paul

stories of hope l local living l contemporary faith

contents ON Â THE Â COVER *V]LY WOV[VZ I`! ;VU`H /LZ[LY *OHYSLZ )V\^LY

04   locallife  Trendy  tapas  and  other  local  joys 06   sportymoment  Paralympic  world  champion  swimmer  Â

Kevin  Paul  on  why  he  hates  getting  wet

08   schoollife  Teachers  and  teens  â€“  getting  inside  their  heads 14  foodielife  Grow  a  gourmet  herb  salad  â€“  and  eat  it!

13

18   mylife   How  Olga  Macingwane  forgave  the  man  who  Â

maimed  her

24   reallife  How  to  be  imperfect  â€“  and  still  enjoy  life Â

AND Â THE Â REST

12

12   coolstories   Zizi  Sasepa  on  life  as  a  cleaner  in  Rondebosch 13   braailife   Local  lawyer  Grant  Clarke  on  protecting  his  Â

man-braai Â

17 Â Â artymoment 3PTWPUN [OYV\NO PUĂ„KLSP[` HUK V\[ [OL Â

other  side

23   prayerlife   Ali  Bourne  talks  us  through  a  prayer  clinic  Â

run  at  a  Kenilworth  doctors’  surgery

26   hotmedia   Books  Capetonians  recommend 27   travelmoment  â€˜Why  on  earth  did  I  go  to  Israel?’

Want Â

thislife  delivered Â

to  your  door?  We  are  FREE  but  R100  will  cover  postage  &  packing  for  3  consecutive  issues.  Email:  thislifemag@gmail.com

28   marketplace   3VJHS JSHZZPĂ„LKZ [HRL [OL las  out  of  looking) 31   infomoment   Courses/groups/support  for  YOU 32   retailtherapy   Made  in  SA!  Gifts  you  feel  great  about  buying

PRIZES:  up  for  grabs  in  this  issue ‹  Â‹ ‹ ‹  Â‹  Â‹ Â

TWO  NIGHTS  AWAY  FOR  SIX,  SELF-CATERING  donated  by  Barton  Luxury  Villas  p11  GOURMET  BREAKFAST  FOR  SIX  donated  by  /LKNL /V\ZL 5L^SHUKZ W BACK  AND  NECK  MASSAGE  donated  by  the  Light  HUK /LHSPUN *LU[YL W BREAKFAST  OR  LUNCH  FOR  TWO  donated  by  Friends  CafĂŠ  p2 ÂşCOOK  WITH  JOSH’  donated  by  Random  House  Struik  p32 ÂşREDEMPTION  OF  A  WARLORD’  donated  by  Struik  Christian  Media  p26

‹  ‹ Â

ÂşSEEKERS  OF  THE  LOST  BOY’  donated  by  Karmal  Books  p26 ÂşRAW,  POEMS  OF  RECOVERY’  donated  by  DesirĂŠe  de  Villiers  p17

Â

CONGRATS  to  the  winners  from  our  last  issue! Â

      Â

Alison  Kempton-Jones,  Plumstead;  Leani  Jansen  van  Vuuren,  Tamboerskloof;  Rubin  van  Wyk,  Kuils  River;  Sharon  Shamrock,  Goodwood;  Gill  Lomas,  Bloubergstrand;  Genevieve  Lucas,  Goodwood;  Margie  Collins,  Plumstead;  Michelle  Anders,  Plumstead;  Anita  Nicolopulos,  Camps  Bay;  Jessica  Muller,  Kenilworth;  Elsabe  Richter,  Sonstraal  Heights;  Samantha  Vorster,  Kirstenhof;  Zaida  van  Schalkwyk,   Rondebosch;  Jennifer  Person,  Kirstenhof

COMPETITIONS

ALL  COMPETITIONS  IN  THIS  MAGAZINE  END  13  January  2014.   Really  sorry  if  you’re  from  afar,  but  all  prizes  need  to  be  picked  \W PU *HWL ;V^U 5VYTHS :4: YH[LZ HWWS` ZV ZVYY` MYLL :4:LZ ^VUÂť[ ^VYR THE  BORING  BUT  TRUE  BIT:  Please  note  that  all  our  prizes,  including  any  physical  activities,  are  undertaken  entirely  at  your  own  risk:  we  can’t  accept  any  liability  whatsoever  for  any  damage  or  loss  you  may  incur.  Also,  we  may  use  your  name  in  the  next  issue  of   thislife  or  other  channels  for  publicity  purposes.  By  entering  any  thislife  competition,  you  accept  these  terms

CONTACT Â US

Want  to  give  input,  or  send  a  comment  or  question  to  anyone  who  wrote  in  this  magazine?  Â‹ ,THPS 2H[` H[ thislifemag@gmail.com ‹ 7O`ZPJHSS` KLSP]LY HU`[OPUN THYR P[ Katy  @  thislife  mag)  to  Christ  Church  Centre,     16  Summerley  Road,  Kenilworth,  tel  021  797  6332  Â

A  special  thank  you  to  Max  Bosanquet  of  Cape  Photography  (www.capephotography.co.za)  who  lent  us  his  studio  equipment  (yet  again‌) 2

thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

‘Like’ right   us  on    F ac e b now  o a chan nd  stand ok  ce  to  a  b re a k f -YPLU ast  or  lun  ^ ^ ^KZ *HMt ch  for  two *  MYPLU KZJH SHYLTVU[ at  ML JV aH

WIN

Com p et 13  Ja ition  end s  nuar y  2014

Coffee,  God’s  gift  to  the  thislife  team

Hello...

welcome to thislife  magazine!

 and Â

Â

Â

WHAT  THRLZ SPML ^VY[O SP]PUN& >LSS VI]PV\ZS` [OL ÄYZ[ HUZ^LY [V [OH[ X\LZ[PVU PZ JVMMLL ZLL HIV]L

;OL ISHJR Z[\MM UV[^P[OZ[HUKPUN ^L HSS OH]L H WYL[[` \UPX\L ZL[ VM HUZ^LYZ [V [OH[ X\LZ[PVU )\[ [OLYL HYL ZVTL JVTTVU IVVTLYHUNZ 6UL [OH[ RLLWZ JVTPUN H[ \Z PZ H ZLUZL VM W\YWVZL ;OPZ ZLLTZ [V NL[ WLVWSL [OYV\NO [OL TVZ[ HWWHSSPUN [PTLZ L]LU [OL THPTPUN VM V\Y V^U IVKPLZ HZ 6SNH 4HJPUN^HUL [LZ[PÄLZ [V VU W 0U H SPML [OH[»Z [HRLU ZVTL KL]HZ[H[PUN RUVJRZ OLSWPUN V[OLYZ PU ZPTPSHY ZP[\H[PVUZ NP]LZ OLY H YLHZVU [V NL[ \W PU [OL TVYUPUN 7\YWVZL PZ HSZV ^OH[ Z\Z[HPUZ 7HYHS`TWPJ ^VYSK JOHTWPVU 2L]PU 7H\S W (UV[OLY JVTTVU [OYLHK OLYL PZ H JVUULJ[PVU [V ;OL 4HU <WZ[HPYZ ;OL WLVWSL VU [OLZL WHNLZ [HSR VM ÄUKPUN H JVUULJ[PVU ^P[O .VK [OH[ RLLWZ [OLT NVPUN ^OL[OLY P[»Z [OYV\NO H T\UKHUL ZJOVVS ^LLR VY H [PTL VM JYPZPZ 9VUKLIVZJO JSLHULY APaP :HZLWH W ZH`Z P[ OLHSLK OLY YLSH[PVUZOPWZ H[ ^VYR

Seeking  light  relief? >L VMMLY H KLLWS` [YLUK` UL^ [HWHZ YLZ[H\YHU[ OV^ [V NYV^ H NV\YTL[ ZHSHK ^P[O UV WYL]PV\Z L_WLYPLUJL ZVTL NYLH[ JVTWL[P[PVU WYPaLZ HUK [OL ]HPU H[[LTW[Z VM *HWL ;V^U SH^`LY .YHU[ *SHYRL [V RLLW OPZ IYHHP WP[ THSL ^OPSL SP]PUN ^P[O MV\Y NPYSZ 9LSH_ HUK LUQV`

Katy  Macdonald, Ed

PS  In case you’re wondering, thislife is anchored by a cool group of Anglican churches (www.stjohnsparish.org.za) PPS  Thank  you  to  those  who  write  us  messages  of  encouragement. Â

We  love  them!  Contact  us  any  time  on  thislifemag@gmail.com  â€“  gripes  included!

Want  to  model  for  us,  like  our  two  cover  models  who  responded  to  our  call?  Whatever  your  age/gender/ race,  we  want  you!  You  don’t  necessarily  need  to  be  a  hunk  or  raving  beauty  â€“  we  like  real  people!  We  can’t  pay,  but  it’s  a  lot  of  fun.  Email  your  pic,  name,  age  and  telephone  number  to  thislifemag@gmail.com Â

and  we’ll  be  in  touch  the  moment  we  have  an  opportunity  for you.

CONTACT  US:  thislifemag@gmail.com  |  CHECK  US  OUT VU -HJLIVVR [OPZSPML THNHaPUL HUK º3PRL» \Z [V NL[ V\Y WVZ[Z TO  ADVERTISE  WITH  US,  contact  Rebecca  on  072  802  7022  or  sales.thislifemag@gmail.com Alternatively,  visit  w ww.thislife.org.za  or  ask  for  Linda  on  021  797  6332 Â

OUR  TEAM:  Editor  Katy  Macdonald  |  Strategic  planner  Dean  Hand  |  Picture/Production  editor  Tonya  Hester  |  Writers *SHPYL :[L]LUZVU )YVU^LU )V^TLY :\ZHU )LU[SL` 1LHU (SMLSK 7HT )HPSPL 5H[HZOH *\YY` 2LUKP 4\NHTIP c Designer  Gwyn  Lubbe  |  Additional  layout  Simone  Potter  |  Advertising/marketing/ distribution 9LILJJH 7HYY` 4HY` /VSNH[L c Consultants )YPHU )\YUL[[ (UNPL ;H[L *PUK` >LIILY thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

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locallife

what’s  new  in  cape  town?

thrill...

All  features  on  this  page  are  genuine  editorial  comment  â€“  thislife  does  not  do  advertorial  in  any  shape  or  form!

Š  Surfstore  Africa  Pictures  2013 Â

Local living

Stand-­up  paddling  â€“  easier  than  it  looks little  black  SUP  book

‹ :<9-:;69, Âś IVHYK YLU[HS HUK SLZZVUZ >P[O :\YMZ[VYL `V\ \Z\HSS` Z[HY[ VɈ PU AHUK]SLP nature  reserve,  then  progress  into  the  shallow  waters  of  Muizenberg,  021  788  5055,  www.surfstore.co.za ‹ 6*,(5 90+,9: Âś OPYL HUK PUZ[Y\J[PVU JHU IYPUN IVHYKZ [V `V\ virtually  anywhere,  082  454  0398,  w ww.oceanriders.co.za ‹ 30-,:;@3, :<9- :/67 Surfers’  Corner,  Muizenberg  â€“  board  rental,  021  788  8218

Is  this  too  good  to  be  true? Â

Âş.YLLUÂť M\YUP[\YL H[ H YLHZVUHISL price  that  doesn’t  take  its  lead  from  a  Seventies-style  tree-trunk  plaque?  Eco  Furniture  Design  in  ever-regenerating  Woodstock  VɈLYZ HWWLHSPUN JVU[LTWVYHY` freestanding  furniture  made  from  local  wood,  either  grown  sustainably  or  recycled  from  dumps  and  old  buildings.  The  business  started  up  three  years  ago,  and  appears  recessionproof:  the  factory  is  now  operating  at  full  capacity.  Each  piece  of  furniture  is  unique  and  available Â

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thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

PU H JVU[LTWVYHY` Ă„UPZO VY TVYL ÂşY\Z[PJÂť PM `V\ WYLMLY This  is  a  company  with  a  heart  that  deliberately  trains  up  unskilled  people  â€“  another  tick  in  the  º*/66:, 4,Âť IV_ *OPWWLUKHSL OV^L]LY P[ PZ UV[ Âş>LÂťYL NHTL MVY most  things  but  don’t  do  very  elaborate  furniture,’  says  owner  Peter  Haralambous.  ;OL SLHK [PTL PZ J\YYLU[S` Ă„]L weeks,  and  apparently  the  furniture  is  worth  the  wait.  Go  to  www.ecofurnituredesign.co.za  and  read  the  glowing  testimonials. Â

Finished  your  beach  book  but  think  the  waves  look  too  small  for  fun?  Have  a  SP[[SL :<7 [OH[ÂťZ H Z[HUK \W WHKKSL [V `V\ dear).  A  Hawaiian  invention,  SUPing  hit  SA’s  shores  10  years  ago  but  is  now  catching  on  KV^U OLYL IPN [PTL Z\YWYPZL *HWL ;V^U took  a  while!) This  is  one  of  the  easiest  watersports,  insists  Frenchman  Patrice  Hartmann,  director  of  Surfstore  in  Muizenberg,  one  of  several  companies  there  which  hire  out  boards  and  teach  novices.  An  hour  is  all  `V\ ULLK [V SLHYU [OL IHZPJZ OL ZH`Z Âş(Z long  as  you’re  strong  enough  to  stand,  you  can  do  it.  It’s  simple  because  you’re  on  a  wide,  stable  board.  It’s  a  great  workout  MVY L]LY` Ă„IYL VM `V\Y IVK` LZWLJPHSS` [OL core.  But  it’s  gentle,  there’s  no  damaging  impact  like  when  you  run.’ Ok,  so thislife  admits  a  faint  bias  towards  believing  sporty  men  with  lovely  French  accents.  But  what  Patrice  says  makes  perfect  sense,  and  there  are  fastgrowing  numbers  of  SUPers  out  there  WYV]PUN P[ ;OL QV` PZ `V\ JHU :<7 VU Ă…H[ water  or  big  waves.  Boards  are  rentable  from  various  surfshops,  and  if  you  shop  around  you  can  rent  one  from  around  9 KH` NVVK MVY H NYV\W [V ZOHYL VY R300/week.  Urbanites  can  SUP  around  Cape  Town’s  canals  down  to  the  Waterfront,  and  there  are  even  mobile  companies  that  will  bring  a  SUP  to  you  on  the  beach.  thislife  thinks  it  looks  like  fun.  Are  you  game?

shop...

Shop  1,  Salt  Circle  Arcade,  374  Albert  Road,  Woodstock,  021  827  1336 Mon  to  Fri:  9am  â€“  5pm Sat:  8.30am  â€“  3pm Â

locallife

eat...

Newly  opened,  La  Parada  feels  just  right.  A Â

What’s  good  in  your  neighbourhood? Â

large  but  amicable  town  eatery,  serving  Spanish  [HWHZ JVɈLL HUK JVJR[HPSZ HSS KH` SVUN

Let  us  know  on  thislifemag@gmail.com Â

WIN!

  ( T neck  mas PU\[L IHJR HUK s HUK /LHSPU age  at  the  Ligh t  N *LU[YL >`UILYN w w w.lig htandhe aling.co.z a Simply  SM S  M A [V M SSAGE  VY win!  Com `V\Y JOHUJL [V petition  e nd 13  Janua ry  2014 s Â

feel...

The  location  is  pleasing:  opposite  good-looking  Heritage  Square  and  its  vital  parking  spaces.  DĂŠcor  PZ JVUĂ„KLU[! ISHJR HUK ^OP[L Ă…VVY [PSLZ H KLSPILYH[L JSHZO VM MYPSS` PUK\Z[YPHS SPNO[ Ă„[[PUNZ THNHaPUL WHNLZ stuck  haphazardly  on  a  wall.  And  a  ridiculous,  plastic,  golden  bull’s  head.  Like  its  sister  restaurant  in  Kalk  Bay,  La  Parada  has  large  folding  windows  which  open  a  joyous  space  onto  the  street  in  summer,  enabling  you  to  sit  on  the  pavement  and  face  into  the  joint  if  you  like.  Food-wise  you  can  go  big  SV[Z VM SHYNLY KPZOLZ VY ZTHSS 9 MVY H ZTHSS OLSWing  of  roasted  peppers).  Or  go  even  smaller  â€“  and  just  have  a  drink.  The  hot  and  cold  tapas,  emerging  MYVT H ZLTP L_WVZLK RP[JOLU HYL H\[OLU[PJ Sevillian,  courtesy  of  an  imported  chef  or  two:  spicy  SP[[SL Z[LHRZ VU H ZUH[JO VM NVVK IYLHK Z[\ɈLK calamari,  chorizo  and  chickpeas.  There’s  a  variety  of  seating  to  suit  most  posteriors:  built-in  leather  seats,  bar-stooled  trestle  tables  and  friendly  round  tables  MVY ZP_ ;OPZ WSHJL PZ KLLWS` JVVS )LPUN H IHI` VM [OL creative  and  successful  Harbour  House  Group,  it’s  likely  to  last,  too.  A  nightclub  is  due  to  open  underneath  soon,  so  go  at  a  time  that  suits  your  age‌

With  their  heightened  sense  of  touch  and  listening  skills, Â

Pictures  by  Allison  Foat

P[ THRLZ WLYMLJ[ ZLUZL [OH[ ISPUK WLVWSL HYL L_JLSSLU[ H[ THZZH ging.  And  of  course,  there’s  the  added  bonus  of  no  awkwardness  in  stripping  down  if  you  consider  yourself  too  lumpy  or  bumpy.  Try  these  two  spots  for  a  unique  massage‌

La  Parada  Spanish  Tapas  Bar,  107  Bree  Street,  Cape  Town,  021  424  2235  or  021  426  0330.  Open  Monday  to  Saturday  from  midday  until  late.  Kitchen  closes  at  10pm.  Sundays,  open  from  midday  for  lunch  only

‹   Â

;OL 3PNO[ HUK /LHSPUN *LU[YL ;OLZL >`UILYN WYLTPZLZ HYL Y\U I` [OL >LZ[LYU *HWL )SPUK (ZZVJPH[PVU >,)( ^OPJO has  been  training  the  blind  to  massage  for  over  15  years.  Not  that  glam  but  very  cosy,  with  a  calm,  candlelit  atmosphere.  4HZZHNLZ HYL Ă„YT HUK [OLYHWL\[PJ :PNO[LK [OLYHWPZ[ APTRP[OH is  also  on  hand  to  complete  the  spoiling  with  a  mani/pedicure Â

‹  Â

)LH\[` VU +LHU PU 5L^SHUKZ PZ ^OLYL `V\ÂťSS Ă„UK ZLYLUL WEBA  graduate  Eslinah,  who  became  blind  after  the  birth  VM OLY JOPSK `LHYZ HNV ;OPZ PZ H M\SS VU ZHSVU L_WLYPLUJL enhanced  by  Eslinah’s  fabulously  strong  and  healing  hands Â

Light  and  Healing  Centre:  21  Wellington  Road,  Wynberg,  021  761  9507,  w ww.lightandhealing.co.za,  R220  for  a  60-minute  full-body  massage

Beauty  on  Dean  @  SureSlim  Wellness  Clinic: Â

43  Dean  Street,  Newlands,  021  689  5126,  R270  for  a  60-minute  full-body  massage,  w ww.beautyondean.co.za thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

5

sportymoment

judge  me  if  you  like Paralympics  world  champion  Kevin  Paul  on  ego,  comfort  food,  and  why  he  hates  getting  wet

as

a  17-­year-­old  schoolboy,  KEVIN  PAUL  won  gold  at  the  Beijing  Paralympics,  setting  a  new  world  record  as  he Â

nailed  the  100m  breaststroke  winning  time.  Now  22,  he  has  just Â

earned  another  gold  medal  by  winning  the  100m  breaststroke  race  at  the  Paralympic  World  Championships.  Born  with  Poland  Syndrome,  which  affects  WKH XSSHU ERG\ .HYLQ JUHZ XS LQ 'XUEDQYLOOH &DSH 7RZQ WKH VRQ RI D ¿QDQFLDO planner  and  an  infant  swimming  teacher.  He  moved  to  Port  Elizabeth  at  the  age  of  11,  where  he  later  attended  Grey  High  School.  In  addition  to  training  25  hours  per  week  for  the  2016  Rio  de  Janeiro  Paralympics,  he  is  studying  for  a  law  degree  at  Nelson  Mandela  University,  where  he  has  just  completed  his  third  year.  Kevin  has  two  sisters.

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thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

sportymoment

m

ost irritating habit in self? Stressing out for varsity tests! When I swim, I want to be the best in the world, and at varsity I want to be the best in class! Otherwise I really am a chilled guy…

Most irritating habit in others? Not much gets me, but I suppose I’d say people who try to impress with things that don’t really matter

Ultimate comfort food? Chocolate. I’m a Bar One guy, and when I travel, I buy Milka, which my mother’s Swiss German side of the family introduced me to. I have it with a cup of rooibos with the family in the evening, and manage to keep it down to about four little squares. I have to eat pretty healthily… Make me president and I’d…? Give disabled people in South Africa equal rights. They have them on paper, but not always in reality. Things are getting better and better, but they’re not there yet. I’m not in a wheelchair, but I teach kids who use a wheelchair to swim, and I’ve seen how difÄJ\S[ SPML JHU IL MVY [OLT One thing not a lot of people know about Kevin Paul is…? I don’t like getting wet! If the family is swimming at home, I prefer to sit out. I spend so many hours hurting in the water that being in a pool represents work to me. But 0»SS ZWLUK OV\YZ PU [OL ZLH Z\YÄUN VY Z^PTTPUN The exact nature of your physical challenge? I’m missing chest and back muscles on my left side, and my SLM[ ZOV\SKLY Z[Y\J[\YL PZ KPɈLYLU[ (SZV T` SLM[ HYT PZ shorter than my right one, and my left hand is smaller What issues has it presented? When I was born, the doctors said there were a lot of things I wouldn’t be able to do, but my parents didn’t listen to them. They could have felt sorry for themselves and me, but they refused to let that happen. They’re a large part of why I’m where I am [VKH` ;OL` HS^H`Z W\[ P[ [V TL [OH[ 0 OHK H KPɈLYLU[ HIPSP[` and that I needed to use it. They encouraged me to tackle things head on, and to do everything I could. It took me longer to tie my shoelaces and button my shirts, and I had to build up functionality in my body over the years, but I ended up playing provincial water polo, A-team rugby, and swimming able-bodied nationally until I was 16 How did you feel about it, growing up? My left hand has ^LIILK ÄUNLYZ HUK 0 NV[ [LHZLK H[ ZJOVVS HIV\[ OH]PUN ºMYVN ÄUNLYZ» HUK UV[ ILPUN O\THU 5V VUL LUQV`Z [OH[ and in my most self-conscious teen years I didn’t want to show my arm to people I didn’t know. But it’s probably made me who I am today. Now I don’t care: look at my hand and judge me if you like!

How did you get into swimming? The doctors told my parents it would be one of the few sports I could do. When I realised I was still using armbands and my friends weren’t, my ego took a little knock, and I told my mum I wanted to Z^PT 0 YLTLTILY T` ÄYZ[ YHJL H[ ZJOVVS H[ [OL HNL VM UPUL going across rather than along the pool! I won it, and got hungry to win from then on. I swam against able-bodied swimmers initially, but when we all hit puberty and started growing, I didn’t have the muscles, and the KPɈLYLUJL Z[HY[LK ZOV^PUN :VTLVUL [VSK T` WHYLU[Z about the Paralympics, and I went to the Beijing Olympics in Grade 11 Best sporting moment to date? Winning gold at Beijing. In the morning heats, I remember looking around for my [PTL HUK OHYKS` ILSPL]PUN [OH[ 0 OHK ZOH]LK VɈ MV\Y ^OVSL seconds. I started to realise the possibility ahead of me. ;OH[ ^OVSL KH` 0 OLHYK PU T` OLHK º0 JHU KV HSS [OPUNZ through Christ who strengthens me’, which is from Philippians in the Bible, and I sort of knew that I had the race. (M[LY^HYKZ 0 ZH^ OV^ P[ \UP[LZ [OL JV\U[Y` HUK HSS KPɈLYences of race and religion go out of the window as people get behind you Why do you believe in God? Every day I see little miracles that make it impossible to believe there’s no God. I think we’re here for a reason beyond ourselves Have you ever felt a little peeved with God? @LZ P[»Z almost a daily thing. As with any relationship, it’s not going to be all good. I often ask why something hard is in my path Coolest thing about God? Seeing Him at work on a daily IHZPZ MVY L_HTWSL ZLLPUN WLVWSL ^P[OV\[ HYTZ HUK SLNZ using their talent. God’s always on your side. Like that story of the footprints on the beach, when someone asks God where He has been during their hard times: we often can’t see two sets of footprints because He’s been carrying us all the time Your advice to others with challenges? Overcoming them all comes down to how much you want to achieve something, and what it means to you What would you like to be remembered for? Not as a Z^PTTLY I\[ HZ ZVTLVUL ^OV THKL HU LɈVY[ [V PTWHJ[ WLVWSL»Z SP]LZ HUK ^HZU»[ ZLSÄZO ^P[O ^OH[ [OL` ^LYL NP]LU Your feelings about the saga surrounding your fellow South African Paralympian, Oscar Pistorius? It’s time for the whole country to think of both families. There’s such a media frenzy about the shooting, but we need to remember that it’s people’s lives we are talking about. How would any of us like to be under such scrutiny?

this page proudly sponsored by Colinton Surgery, Colinton Road, Newlands thislife.org.za | issue 9 7

schoollife

teachers and teens... getting inside their heads

+V HSS [LLUZ ÄUK ZJOVVS H KYHN& And what makes teachers tick? We chatted to some local teens and [LHJOLYZ [V ÄUK V\[ ^OH[ [OL` really think… 8

thislife.org.za | issue 9

schoollife

c

John  Broster,  Thulani  Mpamba,  Portia  Lujabe,  Caroline  Petersen  and  Chris  Cloete:  what  goes  on  under  their  polite  classroom  exteriors?

aroline Petersen is in Grade 10 at 6SULQJĂ°HOG &RQYHQW :\QEHUJ She has two older sisters and OLYHV LQ (OĂ°QGDOH ZLWK KHU PRWKHU DQG IDWKHU D FKDUWHUHG DFFRXQWDQW Âş0Âť]L JOVZLU Z\IQLJ[Z ^OPJO 0 YLHSS` LUQV` ZV I  quite  like  most  lessons.  The  bad  days  are  when  I  feel  tired  or  cold,  because  then  nothing  really  gets  absorbed.  My  main  school  NYPWLZ HYL WHY[PJ\SHYS` IVYPUN VY KPɉJ\S[ lessons,  and  when  we  get  a  huge  load  of  tasks,  projects,  orals  and  tests  all  in  the  same  week.  And  I  hate  it  when  a  teacher  picks  on  me  for  talking  or  disturbing  a  lesson  when  it  clearly  isn’t  my  fault.  I  don’t  mind  answering  questions  in  class  because  normally  I’m  paying  attention.  I  never  let  on  to  teachers  the  amount  of  stress  and  pressure  I’m  under.  Mostly  I  stress  about  things  like  schoolwork,  my  HWWLHYHUJL T` M\[\YL T` L_[YH T\YHSZ T` MHTPS` HUK T` YLSH[PVUZOPWZ ^OLU [OLYLÂťZ JVUĂ…PJ[ 0 OH]L MV\UK YLSH_PUN TLKP[H[PVU calms  me  down.  I  sometimes  play  the  guitar  [V NL[ T` TPUK VɈ [OPUNZ 0 Ă„UK P[ \WZL[[PUN ^OLU [LHJOLYZ HYL [OV\NO[less:  once  a  teacher  shouted  at  me  in  front  VM T` ^OVSL JSHZZ ZH`PUN OV^ \UĂ„[ HUK SHa`

I  was,  and  in  fact  I  was  struggling  because  of  asthma.  I’ll  never  forget  it.  It’s  great  to  get  encouragement  from  teachers,  and  to  hear  appreciation  for  hard  work.  My  worst-ever  day  was  last  year  when  I  went  to  school  knowing  someone  was  mad  at  me,  had  a  tough  day  full  of  work,  was  ignored  by  a  great  friend,  came  home  feeling  terrible  and  had  a  fat  lot  of  work  waiting  for  me.  I  probably  should  have  stayed  in  bed  that  day!  However,  most  schooldays  are  good,  especially  when  I  wake  up  telling  myself  that  today  will  be  a  good  day.  I  try  to  act  as  Jesus  would  do  as  I  go  around  school  â€“  but  doing  that  can  be  tough,  and  I  often  forget!  At  break  it  seems  that  almost  every  day  something  more  hilarious  comes  up  with  my  group  of  friends   â€“  normally  something  to  do  with  embarrassing  moments,  memories,  boys  or  food!’

t

KXODQL 0SDPED WHDFKHV (QJOLVK DW 1HZ (LVOHEHQ +LJK 6FKRRO LQ 1\DQJD 6KH OLYHV LQ /DQJD ZLWK KHU KXVEDQG 5LFKDUG D FRDFK GULYHU DQG WKHLU WZR GDXJKWHUV DJHG DQG

Âş0UP[PHSS` 0 ^HU[LK [V KV ZVJPHS ^VYR 0 UL]LY saw  myself  as  a  teacher  but  here  I  am, Â

enjoying  it!  Teaching  English  is  sometimes  like  teaching  something  as  foreign  as  French  to  the  kids,  but  I  love  it  when  I  see  them  trying  so  hard  to  be  articulate.  It  makes  me  so  happy,  even  if  it’s  only  a  few  that  make  the  LɈVY[ (Z H [LHJOLY LZWLJPHSS` H SHUN\HNL teacher,  I  tend  to  advise  them  in  a  lot  of  KPɈLYLU[ ZWOLYLZ UV[ Q\Z[ [OLPY Z[\KPLZ The  workload  stresses  me:  administration,  marking,  changing  a  curriculum,  the  huge  number  of  learners  in  classes  â€“  the  list  is  endless.  Because  work  has  to  be  done,  I  LUK \W [HRPUN ^VYR OVTL HUK ZHJYPĂ„JL [PTL I  should  be  spending  with  my  babies  and  O\ZIHUK /V^ LSZL JHU 0 JVWL MVY L_HTWSL with  a  class  of  41  Grade  12s,  each  with  two  creative  writing  pieces  to  do  per  term? But  I  feel  joy  in  my  heart  when  I  consider  the  children  whose  lives  I  touch  on  a  personal  basis,  and  see  them  change  and  blossom.  One  particular  boy  always  made  me  birthday  cards  and  even  called  me  to  wish  me  a  happy  birthday.  Then  there  are  three  colleagues  who  have  touched  my  life  ZPNUPĂ„JHU[S`! VUL PZ SPRL H ZLJVUK TV[OLY [V me  and  the  other  two  have  revealed  in  me  strengths  and  capabilities  that  I  hadn’t  seen  in  myself.  They  are  my  true  buddies! Â

thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

9

schoollife

6\Y SLHYULYZ JVTL MYVT WVVY HYLHZ HɈLJ[LK by  crime  and  gangs,  and  from  illiterate  households.  Parents  educate  their  children  to  improve  the  entire  household.  Many  learners  don’t  take  education  seriously.  I  get  frustrated  when  I  see  them  missing  tasks  and  being  absent  unnecessarily. When  I  teach  something,  I  try  to  relate  it  to  the  kids’  daily  lives,  and  that’s  when  they  often  open  up.  I  can  proudly  say  I  have  a  very  close  relationship  with  my  learners.  An  L_ W\WPS Z[Y\NNSPUN ^P[O [LY[PHY` LK\JH[PVU came  recently  to  tell  me  what  keeps  her  going  is  the  Mariah  Carey  song,  Hero,  that  I  once  played  in  class.  I  couldn’t  help  but  cry  with  her.   Some  pupils  are  funny,  imitating  how  I  read  novels  to  them  with  my  high-pitched  voice.  And  I  made  the  whole  school  laugh  when  I  accidentally  attended  school  assembly  in  [^V KPɈLYLU[ ZHUKHSZ ;OL ^VYZ[ [OPUN [OH[ÂťZ ever  happened  to  me  at  school  was  when  some  learners  rampaged  and  destroyed  the  school  admin  building.  They  threw  stones  and  later  burst  inside.  I  was  in  tears,  traumatised  and  injured.  But  my  grade  12s  comforted  me  and  assured  me  I’d  come  to  no  harm.  This  calmed  me  and  still  gives  me  the  courage  to  get  up  and  go  to  work. I  would  have  gone  crazy  without  God’s  presence  in  my  career.  He  keeps  me  calm  and  gives  me  courage  to  face  all  challenges  that  come  my  way.  In  some  situations,  I  also  get  guidance  from  the  Bible  on  how  to  handle  things  and  people.  And  praying  every  morning  gives  me  sanity.’

p

RUWLD /XMDEH LV KHDG JLUO RI &ODUHPRQW +LJK 6FKRRO DQG OLYHV LQ .KD\HOLWVKD ZLWK KHU PRWKHU VLVWHU FRXVLQ QHSKHZ JUDQGPRWKHU DQG JUDQGPRWKHUâV DXQW +HU PRWKHU KDV D VPDOO IDVW IRRG RXWOHW DQG KHU IDWKHU LV D ODZ HQIRUFHPHQW RIĂ°FHU  º;LLUZ YLHSS` SPRL [LHJOLYZ ^P[O H ZLUZL VM humour.  I  think  the  biggest  mistakes  teachers  make  are  being  too  forceful,  not  giving  the  students  enough  time  to  understand,  and  being  too  strict  outside  the  classroom.  Being  head  of  school  is  obviously  a  huge  WYP]PSLNL I\[ ILPUN ZO` 0 HSZV Ă„UK P[ H JOH llenge.  It  can  be  hard  to  give  speeches  at  YHUKVT [PTLZ [LSS WLVWSL VɈ HUK ZWLHR PU public.  Also,  my  uniform  has  to  be  perfect  HSS [OL [PTL [V ZL[ HU L_HTWSL ;V JVWL ^P[O stress,  I  listen  to  some  music  or  go  to  a  quiet  space.  I  ask  God  to  help  me  to  see  the  positive  side  of  things.  I  like  to  talk  to  someone  I  trust,  like  friends  or  my  mom.  She  always Â

10 thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

advises  me  to  keep  praying  about  my  problems.  The  most  important  things  I’ve  learnt  at  school  are  critical  thinking  and  leadership,  and  not  to  give  up  easily.  There  have  been  lots  of  times  when  I’ve  wanted  to  give  up:  too  much  homework  on  one  night,  family  situations,  but  you  have  to  be  strong.’

j

RKQ %URVWHU ZDV ERUQ LQ &DSH 7RZQ DQG HGXFDWHG DW 5RQGHERVFK %R\Vâ +LJK 6FKRRO +H KDV WDXJKW 6FLHQFH DW :HVWHUIRUG +LJK 6FKRRO LQ 1HZODQGV VLQFH DQG DW &ODUHPRQW +LJK 6FKRRO VLQFH LW RSHQHG LQ +H OLYHV in Kenilworth  º4` ILZ[ WPLJL VM HK]PJL MVY H [LLU& 0 [LUK not  to  give  advice,  it  feels  slightly  arrogant.  But  if  a  pupil  asks  for  Matric  dance  advice,  I  suggest  a  low-maintenance  partner!  What  drives  a  teacher  mad?  When  pupils  don’t  pay  attention.  I  think  what  I’m  doing  is  valuable  â€“  all  of  it  â€“  and  I  get  irritated  if  they  don’t  pay  attention.   ;OL Âş)VYU MYLLZÂť Z[\KLU[Z IVYU WVZ[ HYL KPɈLYLU[ MYVT WYL]PV\Z NLULYH[PVUZ! much  more  sophisticated  and  independent,  but  also  more  self-indulgent  and  less  altruistic.  They’re  faced  with  challenges  and  diversions  virtually  undreamed  of  in  the  1970s  œ MVY L_HTWSL [OL` ZV VM[LU KVUÂť[ LUQV` H stable  home  or  good  parenting.  Teaching  PZ KPɈLYLU[ [VV :L[[PUN WYVQLJ[Z PZ KPɉJ\S[ now,  because  no  matter  how  challenging  the  question,  it  can  simply  be  typed  into  Google.  Nowadays,  the  trend  is  to  do  lots  of  work  in  pairs,  sometimes  in  groups  of  four.  I  sometimes  suspect  one  does  the  research,  one  KVLZ [OL [`WPUN VUL THRLZ JVɈLL HUK [OL other  eats  pizza! (U_PL[` HUK ULY]LZ HS^H`Z ZPTTLY ILSV^ [OL JHST L_[LYPVY VM HU` LK\JH[VY 0[ÂťZ H [V\NO HJ[ to  be  on  display  before  an  audience  of  30  or  so  critical,  sometimes  antagonistic,  sometimes  fun  and  supportive,  often  zoned-out  adolescents.  I  can  doubt  whether  my  preWHYH[PVU OHZ ILLU Z\ɉJPLU[S` NVVK VY X\LZtion  why  the  class  is  laughing  at  some  in-joke  of  which  I’m  ignorant.  I  may  have  personal  stresses  weighing  heavily  on  my  mind  but  the  show  must  go  on  â€“  there’s  nowhere  to  hide!   My  class  results  need  to  be  good.  DissatisĂ„LK W\WPSZ VY ^VYZL Z[PSS JVUKLTUH[VY` parents  erode  one’s  self-esteem  in  moments!   @V\UN [LHJOLYZ PU WHY[PJ\SHY JHU LHZPS` MLLS disempowered.  However,  the  rewards  and  LUKVYWOPUZ ^OPJO Ă…V^ ^OLU HSS NVLZ IL[[LY [OHU L_WLJ[LK JHUÂť[ IL ILH[LU Â

>L OH]L H ]VS\U[HY` Z[HɈ WYH`LY TLL[PUN H[ which  we  pray  about  all  aspects  of  school  life.  6\Y WYH`LYZ HYL WYVMLZZPVUHS HUK JVUĂ„KLU[PHS! Z[HɈ TLTILYZ MHPYS` VM[LU ZLUK WYH`LY requests  to  the  group,  ranging  from  life-anddeath  scenarios  to  a  pet  dog  in  need!  In  my  personal  prayers  at  present,  I’m  praying  for  a  family  in  the  throes  of  a  trial  separation.  This  potential  dissolution  of  a  family  unit  is  OH]PUN H KL]HZ[H[PUN LɈLJ[ VU [OL `V\UNZ[LYZ involved. Teaching  is  an  enormous  privilege.  The  kids  I  teach  have  potential  to  achieve  far  more  than  I  have,  to  become  captains  of  industry,  SLHKLYZ (Z H [LHJOPUN Âş]L[LYHUÂť 0 Ă„UK UV kudos  in  my  class  doing  well  because  it’s  all  been  done  before:  my  school  has  had  the  top  marks,  a  pupil  has  scored  100%,  we’ve  won  awards.  My  concern  is  for  you,  the  individual.  Do  your  homework  and  study  hard,  so  that  you  can  do  the  best  you  can.’

c

KULV &ORHWH LV DQG OLYHV LQ 5RQGHERVFK ZLWK KLV Ă°QDQFLDO PDQDJHU IDWKHU WHDFKHU PRWKHU ROGHU EURWKHU DXQW FRXVLQ DQG JUDQGIDWKHU &KULV DWWHQGV 5RQGHERVFK %R\Vâ +LJK 6FKRRO Âş0 LUQV` ZJOVVS LZWLJPHSS` ZLLPUN T` MYPLUKZ and  playing  sport.  What  I  don’t  like  is  the  OVTL^VYR HUK SHJR VM MYLLKVT SPRL UV LH[PUN in  class).  I  get  stressed  when  I  have  too  much  work,  but  the  way  I  handle  that  is  by  just  getting  started.  My  greatest  concern  is  when  school  takes  over  my  life  and  I’ve  no  time  for  anything  else. I  don’t  talk  to  teachers  about  personal  Z[\Ɉ VY ^OH[ OHWWLUZ H[ OVTL Âś [OH[ 0 Q\Z[ RLLW [V T`ZLSM HUK [Y` [V KLHS ^P[O 0 Ă„UK P[ demoralising  when  teachers  get  angry  and  scream  at  pupils,  and  so  my  best  piece  of  advice  to  teachers  is  that  they  try  not  to  lose  their  heads.  The  other  thing  I  hate  is  being  falsely  accused  of  things,  because  it’s  unfair  and  your  reputation  is  compromised  for  no  reason. Sometimes  really  funny  things  happen  at  ZJOVVS Âś SPRL [OL KH` V\Y [LHJOLY MLSS VɈ [OL stage.  My  best  day  was  when  we  left  for  Y\NI` [V\Y SHZ[ `LHY P[ ^HZ ZV L_JP[PUN 4` worst  day  at  school  was  in  Grade  5  when  our  history  teacher  died.’

this  page  proudly  sponsored  by  the  Wilson  family,  USA:  Mike  &  Barbara  Wilson  of  )\ɈHSV /LSLU >PSZVU VM +L[YVP[ HUK 3Pa >PSZVU VM 6RSHOVTH *P[`

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thislife.org.za | issue 9 11

coolstories

spotlight  on...

Zizi  Sapepa, Â

cleaning  supervisor  at  Rustenburg  Girls’  High  School,  Rondebosch

i

live  in  Gugulethu  with  my  mother,  son  and  grandson,  HUK ^HRL \W LHYS` HYV\UK HT ;OL Ă„YZ[ [OPUN 0 do  is  pray,  thanking  God  for  another  day.  Then  I  make  breakfast  for  Okuhle,  my  grandson,  and  get  him  ready  for  crèche.  My  son  Chad  is  in  Matric,  so  thankfully  he  gets  OPTZLSM YLHK` MVY ZJOVVS 1\Z[ ILMVYL ZP_ 0 JH[JO [OL ZO\[[SL MYVT T` OV\ZL [V [OL [H_P YHUR HUK MYVT [OLYL 0 [HRL [OL [H_P [V 4V^IYH` ;OL [H_P KYVWZ \Z H[ [OL [YHɉJ SPNO[Z Q\Z[ before  the  Red  Cross  Hospital,  so  it’s  just  a  short  walk  along  the  common  to  the  school.  I  usually  get  to  work  at  about  OHSM WHZ[ ZL]LU 0 YLSH_ ^P[O H J\W VM JVɈLL HUK ZVTL JLYLHS before  the  day’s  work  starts. Â

insecurity I  really  love  my  job,  but  there  was  a  time  when  I  travelled  to  work  with  a  heavy  heart.  This  was  in  2011,  when  I  was  the  supervisor  of  a  group  of  contract  cleaners  at  the  school.  We  were  very  worried  when  the  company  we  worked  for  went  into  liquidation  just  before  Christmas.   Thankfully,  the  school  decided  to  employ  us  on  a  permanent  basis,  and  we  were  able  to  start  straight  away.  I  was  so  relieved,  but  didn’t  know  my  problems  were  just  starting.  I  was  asked  to  stay  on  as  supervisor,  and  this  caused  insecurity  with  some  of  the  ladies  who’d  been  working  there  for  a  long  time.  Rumours  ^LYL Ă…`PUN HUK P[ ^HZ H ]LY` KPɉJ\S[ [PTL ;OL [LUZPVU ^HZ unbearable.   We  work  very  closely  together,  but  we  could  hardly  be  in  the  same  room  together.

12 thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

At  that  time,  I  had  joined  the  parents’  prayer  meeting  on  a  Friday  morning  and  one  day  I  poured  my  heart  out  to  them  YLNHYKPUN [OL [LUZPVU 0 ^HZ L_WLYPLUJPUN ;OL` WYH`LK MVY me  and  encouraged  me  to  invite  God  into  the  situation,  so  that’s  what  I  decided  to  do.

clean  slate I  spoke  to  the  ladies  and  told  them  that  I  wasn’t  there  to  take  anyone’s  bread  out  of  their  mouths.  Instead  of  seeing  me  as  a  supervisor,  they  should  see  me  as  someone  who  was  there  to  work,  just  like  them,  part  of  the  team.  I  said  we  needed  to  be  like  a  family,  and  asked  if  we  could  pray  about  the  situation.  I  said:  â€˜Let’s  come  together  and  ask  for  forgiveness. Â

Even  if  we  don’t  think  we’ve  done  wrong,  let’s  start  with  a  clean  slate  and  get  rid  of  the  bad  feelings  between  us.’  Â

They  agreed.  So  we  prayed  and  hugged,  and  made  peace.  Since  then,  we  get  together  every  morning  at  about  11  to  pray.  We  pray  about  our  day’s  work,  and  for  the  school,  and  for  each  other.  It’s  been  such  a  blessing  to  share  prayer  together  and  invite  God  into  our  midst  every  single  day.  One  thing  I  love  about  my  job  is  that  I  work  with  people.   But  [OL` JHU IL KPɉJ\S[ ZVTL[PTLZ HUK [OH[ÂťZ ^O` 0 WYH` 0 WYH` constantly,  talking  to  Christ  every  step  of  the  way.’

this  page  proudly  sponsored  by  Andy  and  Priska  Newham

braailife

Living  with... Cape  Town  columnist  Grant  Clarke  on  keeping  his  braai-­pit  manly

‘I’VE  NEVER  CLAIMED

 to  be  a  big  thinker,  in  fact  to  be  perfectly  honest  with  you,  I  try  not  to  think  at  all  if  I  can  help  it.  I  prefer  to  live  by  instinct,  kind  of  half-untamed  wild  animal  and  halfman,  a  sort  of  modern  day  manimal,  if  you  will.  I  like  to  tap  into  my  inner  hunter  and  rely  on  my  God-given  instincts  to  get  me  through  life.  ;OL 3V]LS` 1HJZ Âş;31Âť ZH`Z [OH[ [OPURPUN PZ WYVIHIS` [VV T\JO LɈVY[ for  me,  and  if  I  tap  into  my  inner  manimal  one  more  time  and  pee  on  OLY KHɈVKPSZ ZOL PZ NVPUN [V J\SS TL (UK ZOL JHSSZ OLYZLSM H NYLLUPL Anyway,  the  point  is  this.  I  was  recently  called  on  to  think  when  someone  asked  me  how  I  managed  to  remain  such  a  robust  specimen  of  masculinity  living  in  a  house  full  of  girls.  Of  course,  raising  [OYLL KH\NO[LYZ OHZ HɈLJ[LK TL 7YVIHIS` VUL VM [OL TVYL KPZ[\YIing  changes  I  have  noticed  is  that  my  one-liner  references  have  changed.  Arnold  Schwarzenegger  used  to  be  my  go-to  one-liner  guy.  Whereas  before  my  conversation  was  littered  with  Shwarzenisms  such  as  â€˜I’ll  be  back’  or  â€˜Hasta  la  vista  baby’ 0 UV^ Ă„UK that  my  one-liner  guy  is  in  fact...  Judy  Garland.  Nary  a  day  passLZ ^P[OV\[ TL ZWV\[PUN HU HɈLJ[LK ‘Toto,  I  don’t  think  we  are  in  Kansas  anymore’ \Z\HSS` ^OLU 0 HT SVZ[ ^OPSL KYP]PUN ^OPJO VMten  graduates  in  a  panic  situation  to  â€˜There  is  no  place  like  home,  there  is  no  place  like  home’.  Quite  when  Judy  Garland  insinuated  OLYZLSM PU[V T` SPML 0 HT UV[ Z\YL I\[ 0 Z\ZWLJ[ WYVSVUNLK L_WVsure  to  the  Wizard  of  Oz,  a  movie  my  girls  adore,  has  not  helped. Of  course  TLJ  hasn’t  helped  matters  much  either.  I  have  way  too  T\JO RUV^SLKNL HIV\[ SHKPLZÂť Z[\Ɉ PU T` OLHK [OH[ PZ [HRPUN \W ]HS\able  sport-trivia  space.  I’m  fairly  sure  that  as  a  man  I’m  supposed  to  think  that  a  pashmina  is  some  sort  of  Ukrainian  rodent  and  that  a  GHD  PZ H \UP]LYZP[` X\HSPĂ„JH[PVU `L[ 0 KVUÂť[ 0 RUV^ L_HJ[S` ^OH[ [OL` HYL At  least  I  have  my  braai  â€“  not  one  of  those  yuppy  metal  things  that  SVVR SPRL :W\[UPR Âś 0ÂťT [HSRPUN HIV\[ T` Ă„YL WP[ H[ [OL IV[[VT VM [OL garden.  The  last  stand  of  masculinity  at  our  house!  A  place  where  if  you  return  with  your  eyebrows  unsinged,  you  haven’t  done  it  properly!  So  what  that  my  room  is  a  girly  colour?  Sure,  my  duvet  cover  has  a  cherry  blossom  motif,  and  of  course  there  is  no  watching  rugby  when  it  clashes  with  a  Barbie  movie  rerun  â€“  but  I  have  my  braai.  My  IYHHP PZ ^OLYL 0ÂťT RPUN 0[ÂťZ ^OLYL 0 Y\SL 0[ÂťZ ^OLYL -H[ -HJL T` KVN and  I  can  eat  an  entire  big  bag  of  Nik  Naks  without  any  form  of  judgement.  It’s  where  I  can  spill  marinade  and  just  leave  it  where  it  falls  [V WL[YPM` V]LY [PTL 0[ÂťZ ^OLYL 0 JHU KYVW TLH[ VU [OL Ă…VVY HUK [OL Ă„]L ZLJVUK Y\SL WPJR P[ \W X\PJRS` HUK [OL NLYTZ KVUÂť[ Z[PJR PZ Z[PSS OVUV\YLK HUK ZVTL[PTLZ L_[LUKLK HYIP[YHYPS` ^P[OV\[ H ]V[L 0[ÂťZ where  I  can  do  what  I  do  best  â€“  think  about  absolutely  nothing  at  all. ;OH[ ILPUN ZHPK [OL NPYSZ KPK NV [V H SV[ VM LɈVY[ [V WSHU[ HSS [OVZL Ă…V^LYZ HYV\UK T` IYHHP HUK [OL )HYIPL J\ZOPVUZ HYL very  comfortable  on  those  hard  benches.  I  also  did  get  that  super  Jamie  Oliver  recipe  book  for  my  birthday  with  that  wonderful  hummous  recipe  which  will  make  a  great  pre-braai  snack.’

Grant  Clarke  is  an  attorney  specialising  in  maritime  law.  He  is  also  an  elder  at  Common  Ground  Church,  Constantiaberg.

thislife.org.za    |    issue  9 13

foodielife LOVE  COOKING  WITH  SUPER-FRESH  HERBS,  but  severely  limited  for  gardening  space?  Or  maybe  you  just  never  had  the  courage  to  grow  anything?  You  can  still  out-foodie  the  best  of  them.  Gardening  in  smaller  places  is  taking  off  as  the  joys  of  greening  the  world  become  ever  clearer,  and  Capetonians  are  discovering  there’s  nothing  like  the  taste  and  satisfaction  of  a  ready  supply  of  their  own  fresh  herbs. Â

grow +HUH¶V KRZ WR ¿OO \RXU EDOFRQ\ RU SDWLR ZLWK WKH SXQJHQW DURPD RI KHUEV« >/(; +6 0 5,,+ ;6 .96> .6<94,; HERBS?

2,@: ;6 :<**,::-<3 )(3*65@ .(9+,505.

Not  a  lot.  Most  important  is  your  container.  Use  anything Â

‹   Â

that  holds  soil,  from  old  zinc  buckets  to  state-of-the-art  urns.  Whatever  you  choose  must  have  drainage  holes,  and  don’t  go  for  anything  totally  tiny:  a  pot  that’s  too  small  won’t  hold  enough  moisture  for  the  plant  to  thrive.  NB:  Use  relatively  lightweight  containers  to  prevent  overstretching  the  goodwill  of  a  balcony’s  structure!  It’s  simple  to  prepare  your  pot.  Just  put  a  few  small  Z[VULZ VY IP[Z VM IYVRLU JSH` WV[ VU [OL IV[[VT VM `V\Y JVU[HPULY HUK ÄSS ^P[O NVVK X\HSP[` WV[[PUN ZVPS MYVT `V\Y local  nursery.  When  planting  up  a  big  pot,  try  sinking  a  plastic  bottle  with  holes  pierced  into  the  bottom  with  the  top  just  protruding  above  the  soil.  Fill  this  with  water  to  keep  the  soil  moist  for  longer. Plant  each  seedling  by  making  a  hole  in  the  soil  with  your  Ã„UNLY WVWWPUN P[ PU[V [OL OVSL HUK WYLZZPUN KV^U X\P[L ÄYTS` HYV\UK LHJO WSHU[ HSSV^PUN ZVTL ZWHJL IL[^LLU each.  Water  immediately,  and  keep  in  a  sunny  spot.  Make  sure  you  water  daily  in  very  hot  weather,  though  if  you’re  growing  sage,  water  it  sparingly. Â

.L[ [V RUV^ [OL TPJYVJSPTH[L VM `V\Y IHSJVU` >VYR out  the  hottest,  coldest,  windiest,  sunniest  and  shadiest  positions.  Find  out  from  your  nursery  what  each  herb  needs,  and  position  it  accordingly.

‹ >H[LY `V\Y OLYIZ YLN\SHYS` >PUK HUK OLH[ VU H  balcony  will  dry  out  plants. ‹  Â

-LY[PSPZL YLN\SHYS` 7SHU[Z JHU SP]L MVY THU` `LHYZ PU containers  if  their  nutrient  needs  are  met.  Use  any  VYNHUPJ SPX\PK MLY[PSPZLY VY º^VYT [LH» H[ SLHZ[ VUJL every  fortnight.

‹ 5PW VɈ HU` Ã…V^LYZ [V LUJV\YHNL `V\Y WSHU[Z [V NYV^  more  leaves. ‹ 9V[H[L OLYIZ PU JVU[HPULYZ MYVT [PTL [V [PTL [V  increase  your  yield,  and  control  disease  and  insects.

eat

56> ;9@ ;/0: :(3(+  (even  if  you  bought  your  herbs!)

,QVWHDG RI PDNLQJ KHUEV SDUW RI D VDODG ZK\ QRW PDNH WKHVH IUHVK ÀDYRXUIXO JUHHQV the  salad?  Just  a  few  well-­dressed  bites  on  a  small  salad  plate  adds  a  taste  explosion  to  any  meal.  WHAT  YOU  NEED  (serves  around  6)  Â‹ [ZW ZOLYY` ^PUL ]PULNHY ‹ [ZW YLK ^PUL ]PULNHY ‹ [IZW L_[YH ]PYNPU VSP]L VPS ‹ -PUL ZLH ZHS[ [V [HZ[L ‹ -YLZOS` NYV\UK ISHJR WLWWLY [V [HZ[L ‹ N MYLZO Ã…H[ SLHM WHYZSL` SLH]LZ JHYLM\SS` KLZ[LTTLK YPUZLK HUK KYPLK ‹ N MYLZO JOP]LZ YPUZLK KYPLK HUK TPUJLK ‹ N MYLZO KPSS SLH]LZ JHYLM\SS` KLZ[LTTLK YPUZLK KYPLK HUK JOVWWLK ‹ N MYLZO [HYYHNVU SLH]LZ JHYLM\SS` KLZ[LTTLK YPUZLK KYPLK HUK ZLWHYH[LK ‹ N MYLZO TPU[ KLZ[LTTLK YPUZLK KYPLK HUK SLH]LZ ZLWHYH[LK WHAT  YOU  DO  In  a  large,  shallow  salad  bowl,  whisk  together  the  vinegars  and  salt,  then  whisk  in  the  oil  and  pepper.  Taste  and  season.  Add  all  the  herb  leaves  and  toss  to  coat  the  greens  evenly.  Taste  and  season  HNHPU :LY]L PU ZTHSS WVY[PVUZ HZ HU HJJVTWHUPTLU[ [V YVHZ[ JOPJRLU VY NYPSSLK VY WVHJOLK ÄZO Sandwich  suggestion:  Other  good  mixes  include  parsley,  mint  and  tarragon.  Or  consider  an  all-­mint  salad  to  accompany  Place  your  dressed  grilled  lamb,  all-­tarragon  salad  for  grilled  chicken,  or  sage-­heavy  salad  with  roast  pork.  The  idea  salad,  open-­sandwich  fashion,  on  top  of  is  to  mix  and  match  judiciously.  Just  don’t  use  so  many  herbs  that  they  lose  their  personality! grilled  bread  that’s  been  brushed  with  olive  oil.  Yum. For  more  green  info,  visit  the  SA  Nursery  Association  website  www.lifeisagarden.co.za,  or  join  their  Facebook  page:  www.facebook.com/lifeisagardensa. More  good  sources:  w ww.margaretroberts.co.za VY 1HUL»Z +LSPJPV\Z /LYIZ I` 1HUL .YPMÄ[OZ

14 thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

foodielife Zing up your meal with a gourmet herb salad!

Herbalicious How to green your home and plate (without buying a country estate)

picture by Tonya Hester 2013

WIN!

A go HUK Ä] urmet break L MYPLU KZ H[ /fast for you 5 L ^SH LKNL /V\ZL w w w.h edgeh UKZ ouse.c o. z a :PTWS` :4 MVY `V\ : /,+., [ V Y J Comp OHUJL [V ^PU etition 13 Jan e uar y 2 nds 014

thislife.org.za | issue 9 15

advertise

16 thislife.org.za | issue 9

artymoment

her

raw

Would you love me more if I showed less thigh? Would you’ve spared me pain if I’d loved you more? >V\SK `V\»]L SVVRLK HZPKL ZLLU TL ILZPKL PM 0»K ZOV\[LK OHYKLY tiptoed more softly? Did you love me less ’cause you loved her more? Do you love me less ’cause you love her more? Will you love me less now she’s been before?

Desiree ´ de Villiers processes [OL WHPU VM PUÄKLSP[`

You’ve dropped my heart ò WPLJLZ L]LY`^OLYL¯ Does it matter though now that she’s been there?

she

goodness

I am struggling to see the self I suspect is somewhere [OLYL In hiding or in utero 0»T UV[ Z\YL Still sheathed in shadow her pupils cannot face the glare of day just yet and so she sleeps still breathing VUS` When she’s awake I’ll come to call ò ^L RUV^ LHJO V[OLY HM[LY HSS

a

pastor by training, Desirée de Villiers is now a writer and public speaker who lives with her husband and two children in Cape Town. Following the discovery of her husband’s PUÄKLSP[` ZOL WYVJLZZLK OLY WHPU [OYV\NO poetry, and found redemption from an unL_WLJ[LK ZV\YJL º(Z ZV THU` OH]L KPZJV]ered, the single greatest treasure of loss is,

the life!

I am sipping the welcome warmth of my morning tea in an unpretentious house by the sea I await the dawn with no uncertainty All of this pleases me

If I allow myself to dream there is a river of goodness [OH[ ÅV^Z [V^HYK TL It laps my ankles strokes my thighs encircles my waist then reaches high to full enclose TL ^P[O JVYL LULYN` (I\UKHU[S` P[ IHW[PZLZ TL 0 KV UV[ KYV^U If I allow myself to dream there is a river of goodness [OH[ ÅV^Z MYVT TL It seeks out mourners despondents and withered hearts all universal torn apartness and submerges them in air 4HY]LSSV\ZS` P[ JHYWL[Z JHYL ;OL` JLHZL [V MYV^U

PYVUPJHSS` ^OH[ VUL ÄUKZ » ZOL ZH`Z º(Z [OL layers of my various identities were removed, this painful catalyst confronted me with my true self. What satisfaction to be graduHSS` PU[YVK\JLK [V ºTL» HUK [V ÄUK ^P[O H cautious surprise, that I really enjoyed her company. I hope my poems will help people feel normal and hopeful again.’

WIN!

A copy of R AW by Desirée de Villiers Simply SMS R AW to MVY `V\Y JOHUJL [V ^PU Competition ends 13 January 2014

Read more at www.desireedevilliers.co.za or follow Desirée’s updates on Facebook: Deeper with Desirée de Villiers. Look out for her second book, Women@Prayer, aimed at helping women develop a prayer life. Buy RAW through St John’s Church, Wynberg, 021 797 8968, The Protestant Book Centre, Mowbray, 021 685 3015, or at www.loot.co.za thislife.org.za | issue 9

17

mylife

Eating  with  the enemy

o

LGA  MACINGWANE  was  born  in  the  Free  State  in  1959.  She  left  school  at  the  age  of  19  with  a  standard  7  (grade  9)  pass  to  work  as  a  garage  attendant.  There  she  met  her  late  husband,  9X\LVLOH DV VKH ¿OOHG KLV FDU ZLWK SHWURO 6KH KDV WKUHH children  and  two  grandchildren,  and  lives  in  Zweletemba,  near  Worcester,  in  the  Western  Cape

m

y  husband  and  I  came  to  Zweletemba  on  honeymoon  and  loved  the  Cape  so  much  that  we  made  it  our  new  home.  We  started  our  family  straightaway,  and  life  was  good  for  us.  Vuyisile  provided  well  as  a  farmer  and  businessman.  He  bred  and  raised  goats  and  other  livestock  in  Zweletemba,  which  he  took  to  the  slaughterhouse  in  Worcester  to  sell.  Vuyisile  was  17  years  VSKLY [OHU TL HUK SVVRLK HM[LY TL HZ PM 0 ^HZ L_[YLTLS` WYLJPV\Z /L wanted  me  home  to  raise  the  children  rather  than  at  work  and,  because  he  had  had  no  schooling  himself,  he  encouraged  me  to  continue  with  mine.  I  felt  proud  to  complete  grade  11  while  looking  after  our  three  small  children.  On  that  fateful  Christmas  Eve  in  1996,  we  went  to  Worcester  â€“  me  to  do  my  Christmas  shopping,  and  Vuyisile  to  catch  the  train  to  De  Doorns  to  invite  friends  to  our  Christmas  meal.  We  left  home  at  about  10am,  with  TL ZH`PUN [V [OL [OYLL JOPSKYLU Âş:[H` PUZPKL HUK IL NVVK 0 ^VUÂť[ IL long.’  They  hopped  up  and  down,  thinking  of  me  coming  back  with  cool  drinks  and  other  Christmas  treats.  I  said  goodbye  to  Vuyisile  at  the  station  in  Worcester,  and  walked  on  to  the  OK  Bazaars. Â

festive  atmosphere 0 OHK Ă„UPZOLK T` ZOVWWPUN I` HIV\[ HUK ^HZ MLLSPUN YLSPL]LK H[ leaving  the  crowded  Christmas  shops  to  get  back  to  my  children,  when  I  bumped  into  my  sister-in-law  who  persuaded  me  to  go  with  her  to  Checkers.  We  went  into  the  shop  at  1pm  through  the  back  door.  Immediately  I  smelt  what  seemed  like  a  tyre  burning.  I  still  don’t  know  what  this  was.  I  tried  to  ask  people  around  me,  but  couldn’t  pull  their  attention  away  from  the  festive  holiday  atmosphere  â€“  many  were  jiving  18 thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

picture by Tonya Hester 2013

mylife

Olga Macingwane overcame deep anger to forgive the bomber who maimed her thislife.org.za | issue 9 19

mylife

but we couldn’t eat. My daughter Philiswe, who was 11, was so traumatised that I hadn’t come home that day that she couldn’t eat for nine days.

© Olga Macingwane

4` PUQ\YPLZ ^LYL L_[YLTL HUK 0 JV\SKU»[ ^HSR for many months. The bomb left a hole in my left leg through to my calf bone. I went to the Zweletemba hospital on crutches for treatment every week but otherwise stayed at home, too scared to leave. Apart from the wounds to my chest and arms, I had deafness and ear damage.

Beloved husband: Vuyisile was killed in a hit and run accident, and his loss still devastates Olga

The queues were long, but eventually our items were rung up. As I put my money in the shop assistant’s hand, everything changed. There was a deafening bang, so loud that I MLS[ [OH[ 0 OHK L_WSVKLK ;OLU UV[OPUNULZZ everything went black. No sound. No sight. Just darkness. I could not feel anything HYV\UK TL L_JLW[ T`ZLSM 0 MLS[ SPRL H Z[YHUNLY to myself, and was surprised to still be standing, holding onto the counter to keep upright. When I tried to walk, I couldn’t move my legs. My chest and arms were burning with the shrapnel that had pierced my skin. I saw a woman in a Checkers uniform calling and beckoning to me in what seemed like slow motion. I fell down and crawled towards her until I felt the hot pavement burning my hands and knees, and realised I was outside. I had wounds on my hands and chest, and my legs were useless. Suddenly I heard the terrifying sound of another blast nearby. Later, I heard this was a second bomb, planted near the pharmacy. Two policemen came and carried me between them to a kombi, where I collapsed, unconscious. The time was just after 1pm. I became conscious again at 7pm that evening in the Worcester Mediclinic, tied to a hospital bed. I asked a nurse what was happening 20 thislife.org.za | issue 9

[V TL HUK ZOL ZHPK º@V\»]L ILLU OP[ I` H bomb.’ There were other bomb victims in the ward, and the sound of children crying and women wailing was too much to bear. My sister-in-law was shaken but unharmed. (M[LY [OL IVTI ^LU[ VɈ ZOL ZLHYJOLK MVY me in the crowd outside Checkers and she looked all afternoon, going from hospital to hospital, checking names on lists of wounded WLVWSL [OLU [OL KLH[O SPZ[Z ^P[OV\[ ÄUKPUN TL ¶ 0 OHKU»[ ILLU PKLU[PÄLK ILJH\ZL 0 ^HZ unconscious. She went home to tell my husband, her brother, that she thought I might be KLHK 4` O\ZIHUK ^HZ PUP[PHSS` MYHU[PJ [V ÄUK me, then began to grieve my death.

Four years later, I was reading the newspaper at home when I found an article about what had happened in Worcester that day. I read that the bombers were four white Afrikaans men who had planted bombs in areas where black and coloured people shopped, in order to kill as many of us as possible. Four people were killed, two of them were nine-year-old children, and 67 of us were injured. The

The doctor allowed me home for Christmas and by the time I arrived, after 8pm and in a municipal vehicle, the village thought that I was in the mortuary. Friends and family were standing together mourning on our street. Their faces changed when they recognised me through the vehicle window, and many of them began crying.

food parcel I saw trauma on the faces of my children and my husband when I went towards the front door on crutches, my legs bandaged. My husband began crying with relief that I was alive, and sorrow at how much pain I was in. >OLU 0 ^VRL \W [OL UL_[ KH` HS[OV\NO P[ was Christmas, a blackness had come over the village. The mayor sent us a food parcel

© Olga Macingwane

to the Macarena as they shopped. I left my sister-in-law at the parcel counter, telling her UV[ [V TV]L ZV [OH[ ^L JV\SK ÄUK LHJO V[OLY in the crowd afterwards, and went to the tills to pay for what we’d chosen.

Today, my legs still swell and hurt in summer. I walk with a limp, my neck hurts and my left LHY VVaLZ W\Z 0 HT HɈLJ[LK I` UVPZL 0 OH]L ºOLHYK» HUK YL SP]LK [OL IVTI L_WLYPLUJL ever since, and still don’t feel safe in public areas. I have never been given any compensation for the medical costs, or for being unable to work since the bomb.

Snappy dresser: Olga in the Eighties, aged 29

mylife

I lived on my own, and was completely alone apart from when my husband’s family could bring my children to visit. In 2009, 13 years after the bombing, I was contacted by a member of the Khulumani Support Group, which had been formed for reconciliation in our country. I went to a meeting with them and other bomb victims in Worcester. There, they told me that one of the bombers, UPJRUHTLK º:[LMHHUZ» *VL[aLL ^HZ ZLLRPUN amnesty, and wanted to meet his victims. I was shocked. The other victims felt too afraid to face the person who had hated them. But I was angry. I wanted information, and I wanted to keep this Stefaans in jail where he belonged. I went in a car hired by Khulumani to Pretoria Central Prison. I had nothing left to lose.

like a child It was 2pm when I was led to a room inside the prison. When I entered, I saw a young man in prison overalls arranging chairs. Someone told me he was Stefaans, the bomber who wanted to meet me. He was a small man and he seemed like a child to me, although he was 30. I was surprised because 0 OHK L_WLJ[LK HU VSKLY WLYZVU ^OV SVVRLK more like a criminal. We sat in a circle and the people who were there asked Stefaans questions, while I sat quietly, watched and listened. Someone encouraged me to talk. ,]LU[\HSS` 0 ZHPK º:[LMHHUZ 0 KVU»[ RUV^ `V\ and you don’t know me. Why then did you KV [OPZ [V TL&» /L ZHPK º6SNH 0 OH[LK ISHJR people.’ It turned out that he was taught to hate black people from when he was small. His father drank a lot, and his mother was careless. He was put in an orphanage when he was nine and did not go to school. When he was a little VSKLY OL ^HZ [H\NO[ MYVT HU HKHW[LK º)PISL» by Johannes Van Der Westhuizen, who was

a member of the Wit Wolwe, that people who did not have white skin were no better than HUPTHSZ PU H ÄLSK Van der Westhuizen took Stefaans to a farm outside Beaufort West when he was 16 to train him to kill, and to make bombs like the one that had injured me. Stefaans told me that in prison he asked for a Bible, and realised that what he had been reading had been changed so much that it wasn’t the real )PISL H[ HSS /L [VSK TL OL ^HZ UV^ H KPɈLYLU[ person. Prison had given him the chance to walk with God, and learn right from wrong. I thought to myself that this could be my sister’s child. He was used as an instrument of hatred. How would I feel if this was my child asking for forgiveness? Every day of my life since I was a little girl, I had said The Lord’s 7YH`LY! º3VYK MVYNP]L TL T` [YLZWHZZLZ HZ 0 forgive those who have trespassed against me’. So how could I not forgive Stefaans? It felt like the most natural thing to do when I stood up, put my arms around him and said PU ?OVZH º*VTL OLYL IV` 0 MVYNP]L `V\ Whether what you have told me is true or not is between you and God. I am not your judge.’ Stefaans cried, I cried, everyone in the room cried.

freedom Little by little since that day, I have begun to heal. Although I long for my husband and I would like to live without pain, I am motivated by the small glimmer of hope that I received after forgiving Stefaans. I have worked since that day as a volunteer with the Worcester Khulumani Support Group, and they use me to manage meetings between Stefaans and the Worcester bomb victims, because I know how much freedom it gave me to forgive. Because of this, 35 of the victims have been to Pretoria Prison to meet Stefaans. I asked if he could be transferred to the Worcester Prison for more discussions, and he was taken there in August 2013. It saddens me that Stefaans has had no family or friends visit him since he went to prison 13 years ago. No one should be so alone in this world. I am trying to get to see him whilst he is in Worcester because I love him as my own child. I told Stefaans that when he gets out of prison, he and I should team up to try to change this country.

© Olga Macingwane

IVTILYZ ^LYL ºISHJR OH[LYZ» [YHPULK [V RPSS All of them had been captured and were in prison. Although this information made me feel both angry and sad at what had happened to me and to the other victims, I was relieved to know at last what had happened, and that the bombers were in prison. In 2003, seven years after the bombing, Vuyisile was killed in a hit-and-run car accident. I was devastated. He had been riding his bike in Worcester when he was hit by a vehicle at high speed. Losing my husband was like losing my hand. It was the worst thing that had ever happened to me, and for a time I did not believe that God L_PZ[LK 0 SVZ[ T` ^PSS [V SP]L 4` JOPSKYLU ^LYL taken from me to live with my in-laws as I was too depressed to look after them, and because I had no income.

Olga’s three children (left to right): Theliswa, Siyabonga and Bulelani Mcdonald live in two prisons, one around your body and one around your heart.’ When I get angry and bitter, not only about my past and the pain but because I am poor and unable to work as a result of the bombings, I get down on my knees and pray to God for help. When my children ask me why I am prepared to grant interviews and keep working for peace when my situation doesn’t JOHUNL 0 ZH` º)LJH\ZL P[ PZ T` ^VYR » In 2012 I was given an award by Archbishop Desmond Tutu for the Institute of Justice and 9LJVUJPSPH[PVU H[ [OL +PZ[YPJ[ :P_ 4\ZL\T MVY forgiving the bomber, and for my commitment to community reconciliation. I was surprised to have been awarded for what I think should come naturally to all of us. ;H[H 4HKPIH PZ T` YVSL TVKLS /L ZHPK º@V\ must sit with your enemies and you must eat with your enemies.’ I will do this, and I will continue to trust God.’

I read in a newspaper article that in prison :[LMHHUZ TL[ H THU PU OPZ ZP_[PLZ ^OV ^HZ serving more than one life sentence for ISHJR OH[L T\YKLYZ ^OV ZHPK º:[LMHHUZ PM you don’t stop thinking that you’re superior because of the colour of your skin, you will this page proudly sponsored by Neville Wellington, Charlie Miller and Eric Kok thislife.org.za | issue 9 21

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22 thislife.org.za | issue 9

prayerlife

60 seconds

Does a prayer a day keep the doctor away? Quite often, says Ali Bourne

with Alison Bourne, prayer clinic co-­ordinator :6*0(3 >692,9 (30:65 )6<95, was born in Zimbabwe and moved to South Africa as a young girl. After many years at an NGO, she started working with prayer and pastoral care needs at Christ Church, Kenilworth, where she has been for the past 11 years. She lives in Wynberg

What is prayer? In my life, it’s speaking to God as you would to a friend Why pray? I believe God loves to answer our prayers and help us out. He can do anything but He doesn’t just barge into our lives, He waits to be asked. Why? I’d say because He wants a relationship with us, it’s a mutual thing How did the prayer clinic start? A group of doctors at Kenilworth Medicross were inspired to set it up after hearing about some Christian doctors in the UK who arranged for people to pray for patients in their practice Who and what do you pray for? Anyone who asks, and for anything: stressed teenagers, people with JHUJLY ZVYL IHJRZ THYP[HS JVUÅPJ[ loneliness, even pets! Modus operandi? A team of three volunteers prays for an individual in a session lasting about 20 minutes. *VUÄKLU[PHSP[`»Z JY\JPHS Examples of answered prayer? So many! We often see immediate healings of back, knee and spinal problems. We’ve recently been privileged [V ZLL YLHS IYLHR[OYV\NOZ PU KPɉJ\S[ family relationships, cancer tests have come back clean, and God has lifted L_[YLTL HU_PL[`

Are all prayers answered? We believe God hears every prayer, and weeps with us. Sometimes there’s instant healing, at other times the outcome is delayed, or answered in H ^H` ^L KPKU»[ L_WLJ[ :VTL[PTLZ people come back weekly for a long period of time and it turns out that [OLYL HYL SH`LYZ VM Z[\Ɉ \UKLYULH[O [OL WYLZLU[PUN WYVISLT -VY L_HTWSL I need prayer for a very painful neck, but stress in my life is contributing to the problem, and the neck’s just the symptom. I think God hates all illness HUK Z\ɈLYPUN I\[ HSZV \ZLZ KPɉJ\S[ situations to draw us closer to himself: because we’re desperate, we cry out to Him. Why He doesn’t heal everyone HZ [OL` TPNO[ L_WLJ[ [V IL OLHSLK PZ often clear with hindsight, but can also remain a mystery Isn’t ‘answer to prayer’ just coincidence? 4VZ[ KLÄUP[LS` UV[ >L ZLL [VV THU` L_[YHVYKPUHY` YLZ\S[Z [V [OPUR otherwise. We also see the peace that Jesus can give, despite no apparent healing or change happening Best thing about doing this? Seeing how God’s incredible love and kindness change every situation and person. Being able just to listen and love the people who come is also a great privilege for us

For more info on this prayer clinic, go to Life Support p31 this page proudly sponsored by Dorrington Jessop Incorporated Attorneys Contact Barry Jessop: barry@dorringtonjessop.co.za thislife.org.za | issue 9 23

reallife

(9, @6< ,516@05. @6<9 30-, or  are  you  often  tired  and  overstretched?  Are  you  often  striving  to  WSLHZL VY IL IL[[LY [OHU V[OLYZ& Do  you  sometimes  secretly  think  of  busy-ness  and  exhaustion  as  status  symbols?  ( UL^ IVVR  The  Gifts  of  Imperfection:  Let Â

Go  of  Who  You  Think  You’re  Supposed  to  Be  and  Embrace  Who  You  Are,  shows  another Â

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‘Don’t  ask  what  the  world  needs.  Ask  what  makes  you  come  alive,  and  go  and  do  it.  Because  what  the  world  needs  is  people  who  have  come  alive.’ *P]PS YPNO[Z SLHKLY HUK

[OLVSVNPHU /V^HYK ;O\YTHU

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tough,  this  is  uncertain  but  I  will  try,  and  can  do  it’.  And  if  the  outcome  isn’t  perfect  â€“  so Â

^OH[& 6\Y PTWLYMLJ[PVU UV[ V\Y WLYMLJ[PVU PZ [OL JVTTVU [OYLHK \UP[PUN O\THUP[` Sally  Bingham  recalls  how  this  worked  in  her  V^U SPML Âş>OLU 0 SLM[ Z[HISL LTWSV`TLU[ HUK Z[HY[LK T` SPML JVHJOPUN I\ZPULZZ 0 OHK [V ZH` [V T`ZLSM ¸0ÂťT NVPUN [V NP]L [OPZ H [Y` HUK PM P[ KVLZUÂť[ ^VYR V\[ ZV ^OH[&š 0 [VSK T`ZLSM I’d  just  have  to  look  for  the  next  best  answer:  Z\JJLZZ VY MHPS\YL PZ UV[ ^OH[ KLĂ„ULZ ^OV 0 HT Âť

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),05. ;9<,  to  what  we  believe  releases Â

us  from  the  inner  tension  that  comes  when  we  say  or  do  one  thing  â€“  while  actually  thinkPUN HUV[OLY >OLU V\Y HJ[PVUZ HYL PU SPUL ^P[O ^OH[ ^LÂťYL [OPURPUN HUK MLLSPUN KVLZ P[ YLHSS` matter  what  people  think  of  us?  Authenticity  PZ MYLLPUN Âş:VTL ^V\SK ZH` [OH[ HSS [OH[ YLHSS` TH[[LYZ PZ ^OH[ .VK [OPURZ VM `V\ Âť ZH`Z :HSS` ‘You  might  consider  connecting  with  Him  a  SP[[SL IL[[LY RUV^PUN /L [OPURZ `V\ HYL WYL[[` marvellous‌  and  ditch  worrying  about  what  other  imperfect  people  only  might  be  thinking!’ &XOWLYDWLQJ FUHDWLYLW\

@6<9 <508<,  and  individual  creativity  is Â

JVTWSL[LS` VYPNPUHS HUK JHUÂť[ IL JVTWHYLK >P[OV\[ JVTWHYPZVU JVUJLW[Z SPRL ahead,  behind,  best  or  worst SVZL [OLPY TLHUPUN What  a  great  thought  â€“  just  good  enough!  *HY]L V\[ [PTL MVY JYLH[P]P[` (Z SVUN HZ ^LÂťYL JYLH[PUN ^LÂťYL J\S[P]H[PUN TLHUPUN .L[ THRPUN HUK JYLH[PUN ^P[O +0@ ^YP[PUN JVVRPUN HY[ WOV[VNYHWO` ZJ\SW[PUN KHUJPUN KLJVYH[PUN woodwork:  just  make  sure  that  you  plug  yourZLSM PU[V ZVTL[OPUN `V\ SV]L (UK VM JV\YZL afterwards  there’s  that  little  nap  to  right  the  balance  again‌

The  Gifts  of  Imperfection:  Let  Go  of  Who  You  Think  You’re  Supposed  to  Be  and  Embrace  Who  You  Are  PZ H]HPSHISL VUSPUL MYVT ^^^ SVV[ JV aH HUK ,_JS\ZP]L )VVRZ >H[JO )YLUt 24 thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

talking  about  vulnerability  on  YouTube:  â€˜BrenĂŠ  Brown  the  power  of  vulnerability’

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25

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BOOKS  PEOPLE  LOVE... Capetonians  tell  us  what  inspired  them WIN!

SMS  WARLO  MVY `V\ RD  to  Y J [V ^PU [OPZ IVVOHUJL Competition  e R nds  1HU\HY` 7YPaL KVUH[L ^ ^ ^ Z[Y\PRJO K I` YPZ[PHU TLKPH JV aH

BOOK:  THE  REDEMPTION  OF  AN  AFRICAN  WARLORD:  THE  16:/<( )3(/@0 :;69@  by  Joshua  Blahyi Reviewed  by  Sedrico  Husselman,  36,  community  lifeskills  coach,  Lansdowne   Where to get it: ^^^ HTHaVU JVT ^^^ L_JS\Z ]LZ JV aH HUK 2HYTHS )VVRZ )LYN]SPL[ &RVW from  R107

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his  is  the  true  and  amazing  story  of  an  evil  man  turned  WYLHJOLY THU 1VZO\H )SHO`P VY .LULYHS )\[[ 5HRLK HZ OL was  later  dubbed  by  the  world’s  media)  grew  up  in  Liberia  and  ILJHTL VUL VM P[Z TVZ[ MLHYLK ^HYSVYKZ /L ^HU[LK [V IL NYLH[ HUK THRL OPZ WLVWSL NYLH[ >OH[ MVSSV^Z HM[LY OPZ PUP[PH[PVU PZ H KPMÄJ\S[ YLHK HUK PU]VS]LZ O\THU ZHJYPÄJLZ L]LU VM `V\UN IHIPLZ ;OLYL [OLU MVSSV^ Z[VYPLZ VM HYTPLZ JOPSK JVUZJYPW[PVU HUK ^HY ;OL KL[HPSZ VM [OL RPSSPUNZ HYL NY\LZVTL I\[ OLSW PZ VU P[Z ^H` What  was  really  amazing  for  me  was  that  God  reached  out  to  this  MVYJL PU [OL KHYR ^VYSK HUK JHSSLK )\[[ 5HRLK ZV HMMLJ[PVUH[LS` /L NYPWWLK OPZ OLHY[ HUK WPLYJLK P[ ;OPZ Z[VY` OHZ ILLU [VSK I` *55 [OL ))* HUK [OL 5L^ @VYR ;PTLZ 0[ TH` ZOVJR I\[ P[ HSZV ZOV^Z [\YUHYV\UK P[ ZOV^Z YLJVUJPSPH[PVU P[ ZOV^Z MVYNP]LULZZ 0[»Z H T\Z[ YLHK MVY [OVZL not  sure  about  the  reality  of  spiritual  power!’

BOOK:  WONDER  by  R  J  Palacio Reviewed  by  Pippa  Shaper,  48,  NGO  director,  Wynberg  Where to get it: ,_JS\ZP]L )VVRZ ^^^ L_JS\Z ]LZ JV aH &RVW from  R120

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OPZ PZ H [Y\L º^VUKLY» VM H IVVR HUK 0 OH]L `L[ [V TLL[ HU`VUL ^OV KVLZU»[ HNYLL >VUKLY [LSSZ [OL ÄJ[PVUHS [HSL VM `LHY VSK (TLYPJHU IV` (\N\Z[ 7\SSTHU ^OV OHZ ILLU IVYU ^P[O H ZLYPV\Z JYHUPVMHJPHS HIUVYTHSP[` (Z (\NNPL W\[Z P[ º0 ^VU»[ KLZJYPIL ^OH[ 0 SVVR SPRL >OH[L]LY `V\»YL [OPURPUN P[»Z WYVIHIS` ^VYZL » ( U\TILY VUL VU [OL 5L^ @VYR ;PTLZ ILZ[ZLSSLY SPZ[ [OPZ PZ H ILH\[PM\SS` ^YP[[LU IVVR 0[ JOHY[Z (\NNPL»Z Z[VY` HZ H ÄM[O NYHKLY ^OV LU[LYZ ZJOVVS MVY [OL ÄYZ[ [PTL OH]PUN ILLU OVTLZJOVVSLK HSS OPZ SPML /L PZ Q\Z[ H UVYTHS IV` ^OV SPRLZ ?IV_ HUK :[HY >HYZ HUK [OL IVVR L_WSVYLZ MYVT [OL WLYZWLJ[P]L IV[O VM (\NNPL HUK V[OLY WLVWSL ^OH[ P[»Z SPRL [V IL Q\KNLK JVU[PU\V\ZS` VU `V\Y V\[^HYK HWWLHYHUJL -VY VSK HUK `V\UN HSPRL ^OL[OLY `V\ OH]L H JOPSK ^OV PZ ºKPMMLYLU[» VY UV[ [OPZ PZ H T\Z[ YLHK 0 WYVTPZL [OH[ P[ ^PSS [V\JO `V\Y heart!’

WIN!

SMS  SEEKER  MVY `V\ S  to  Y J [V ^PU [OPZ IVVOHUJL 7YPaL KVUH[LK R I` ^ ^ ^ RHYTHSIV VR Competition  eZ JV aH nd 1HU\HY` s Â

BOOK:  :,,2,9: 6- ;/, 36:; )6@  by  Taryn  Hayes Reviewed  by  Tim  Alfeld,  14,  Rondebosch   Where to get it: :JYPW[\YL <UPVU 9VUKLIVZJO ^^^ J\TIVVRZ JV aH HUK 2HYTHS )VVRZ )LYN]SPL[ &RVW from  R110

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OPZ IVVR PZ HIV\[ H `LHY VSK IV` JHSSLK :PTVU ^OV ÄUKZ H IV[[SL VU 4\PaLUILYN ILHJO 3P[[SL KVLZ OL RUV^ [OH[ OPZ discovery  will  bring  his  family  into  contact  with  a  very  important  THU ^OV OHZ H M\UKHTLU[HS PTWHJ[ VU [OLPY ZWPYP[\HSP[` >OH[ 0 SV]LK TVZ[ HIV\[ [OL IVVR PZ [OH[ P[ PZ ZL[ PU *HWL ;V^U ZV 0 JV\SK YLJVNUPZL HSS [OL WSHJLZ HUK [OPUNZ [OL` ZH^ 0[»Z HU LHZ` YLHK HUK 0 MV\UK P[ X\P[L PUZWPYH[PVUHS HZ 0 JV\SK YLSH[L [V [OL MHTPS`»Z X\LZ[PVUZ 0 YLHSS` LUQV`LK [OPZ IVVR HUK ^V\SK KLÄUP[LS` YLJVTTLUK P[ [V `V\UN :V\[O (MYPJHU YLHKLYZ »

26 thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

BOOK:  LIGHT  ON  A  DARK  CANVAS   by  Wendy  Brown Reviewed  by  Kendi  Osano,  40,  freelance  writer  and  baker,  Kirstenhof   Where to get it: ^^^ RHSHOHYP JVT HUK 2HYTHS )VVRZ )LYN]SPL[ &RVW from  R120

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OPZ PZ HU H\[VIPVNYHWO` VM OVWL NYHJL HUK MVYNP]LULZZ VU V\Y JVU[PULU[ /LYL PZ >LUK` H JV\YHNLV\Z ^VTHU NYV^PUN \W PU H JV\U[Y` K\YPUN H [\T\S[\V\Z WLYPVK >L SLHYU HIV\[ OLY SPML PU APTIHI^L MYVT [OL [PTL ZOL SLH]LZ ZJOVVS [V [OL [PTL ZOL HUK OLY O\ZIHUK 5L]PSSL SVZL [OLPY MHYT ;OYV\NO OLY ^L TLL[ OLY ULPNOIV\YZ HUK NL[ H NSPTWZL PU[V [OL Z[Y\NNSLZ VM MHYTLYZ K\YPUN [OL \UJLY[HPU [PTL VM [OL SHUK PU]HZPVUZ 0[»Z H NVVK YLHK because  she  infuses  the  story  with  little  happenings  that  are  funny  KLZWP[L [OL IHJRNYV\UK KYHTH 0 MLSS PU SV]L ^P[O [OL JOHYHJ[LYZ HUK JV\SKU»[ Z[VW [\YUPUN [OL WHNLZ >LUK`»Z WVZP[P]L H[[P[\KL [V^HYK SPML PU ZWP[L VM [OL KPMÄJ\S[PLZ [OH[ SPML [OYV^Z H[ OLY PZ PUZWPYPUN :OL OHZ OLY L`LZ VU L[LYUHS [OPUNZ HUK YLM\ZLZ [V IL YH[[SLK I` OLY ZVTL[PTLZ X\P[L KLZWLYH[L ZP[\H[PVU Z\JO HZ [^V JHUJLY KPHNUVZLZ PU [OL MHTPS` /LY Z[VY` THKL TL YLZVS]L [V MVJ\Z VU ^OH[»Z PTWVY[HU[ »

travelmoment

Why  on  earth  did  I  go  to  Israel?

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Retired  doctor  Jean  van  Zyl-­Smit  lives  in  Rondebosch  with  her  nephrologist  husband,  Roal.  They  recently  went  to  Israel  on  a  study  tour  run  by  Rev.  John  Atkinson  of  the  Church’s  Ministry  among  the  Jewish  people /69;3@ ),-69, >, >,5; ;6 0:9(,3  a  MVYTLY JVSSLHN\L HZRLK Âş>O` VU LHY[O KV `V\ want  to  go  there?’  I  didn’t  quite  have  an  answer  then,  but  now  I’d  encourage  anyone  who  ever  has  the  opportunity  to  grab  it  with  both  hands!

The  country  is  diverse  and  beautiful,  and  the  archaeologiJHS ZP[LZ HYL HTHaPUN @V\ OH]L H YLHS ZLUZL VM SP]PUN PU history.  The  visit  brought  the  Bible,  and  the  Old  Testament  in  particular,  alive  for  me  and  I  gained  a  greater  understanding  of  the  Israeli  and  Palestinian  people  and  their  struggle.  I  also  developed  a  greater  appreciation  MVY [OL PUJYLKPISL JVTTP[TLU[ VM [OL VY[OVKV_ 1L^Z HUK YLHSPZLK ^LÂťYL SP]PUN PU [OL TPKZ[ VM [OL M\SĂ„STLU[ VM IPISPJHS prophecies! My  husband  and  I  have  mostly  travelled  on  our  own,  and  were  a  bit  apprehensive  about  being  herded  about  on  buses.  However,  our  group  of  27  was  handled  professionally,  and  with  great  care.  We  stayed  in  very  nice  hotels  ^P[O L_JLSSLU[ MVVK HUK UL]LY OHK H ZLUZL VM KHUNLY 0[ÂťZ quite  an  academic  tour,  but  we  were  well  prepared  by  talks  and  handouts  given  by  John  before  we  left. Â

John  anticipated  that  every  one  of  us  would  encounter  God  in  some  way  on  the  trip.  My  moment  came  at  Lake  Galilee,  which  is  unchanged  from  2  000  years  ago,  just  as  Jesus  would  have  seen  it.  We  were  at  the  shore  where  P[ PZ ILSPL]LK [OH[ 1LZ\Z HZRLK [OL KPZJPWSL 7L[LY Âş+V `V\ love  me?’  I  got  the  sense  that  God  was  challenging  me  with  the  same  question,  and  it  was  an  emotional  moment.  Later,  as  I  sat  on  the  shore  listening  to  the  water  lapping  around  me,  I  had  a  great  sense  of  being  washed  clean,  forgiven  and  set  free. Now  we’re  back  in  Cape  Town,  I’m  hooked  on  the  Old  Testament  and  going  to  John’s  weekly  classes  on  the  ;VYHO [OL Ă„YZ[ Ă„]L IVVRZ VM [OL 6SK ;LZ[HTLU[ /LÂťZ H humble  man  whose  teaching  is  passionate  and  worldclass.  He  always  draws  from  what  we  study  to  show  its  relevance  to  our  own  lives.  I’ve  been  very  fortunate  to  travel  quite  a  bit  in  my  life.  Last  year  we  went  to  China,  which  was  fascinating.  However  this  trip  to  Israel  has  impacted  our  lives  like  nothing  else.’

&DUH WR ÂżQG RXW PRUH DERXW WKLV WRXU" Â

picture  by  Roal  van  Zyl-­Smit

Email: Â john@cmj-sa.org

Jean  van-­Zyl  Smit  found  freedom  at  the  shores  of  Lake  Gallilee,  unchanged  from  the  days  when  Jesus  stood  on  them  to  teach thislife.org.za    |    issue  9 27

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your  guide  to  local  services  (take  the  las  out  of  looking)

! Â WLLI N W Z

CHILDREN/HOUSEHOLD Â

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SERVICES

:DQW WR DGYHUWLVH \RXU EXVLQHVV FDUG LQ RXU QH[W LVVXH" Mail  us  on  sales.thislifemag@gmail.com  or  JHSS 9LILJJH VU VY ;VU`H VU Maybe  we’re  biased,  but  we  assume  that  if  our  advertisers  choose  our  mag,  they  must  be  good.  However,  if  you  don’t  receive  total  satisfaction,  please  let  the  advertiser  know  and  seek  any  recourse  from  them.  Even  though  there  is  little  we  can  do  about  your  particular  grievance,  please  do  let  us  know  of  your  complaint  too  â€“  for  our  future  reference  30 thislife.org.za    |    issue  9

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personal

:$17 025( &/$5,7<  on  where  your  responsibilities  lie  â€“  and  where  they  KVUÂť[& 3VVRPUN [V SP]L TVYL SPNO[S` ^P[Oout  comparing  yourself  to  others?  The  Boundaries  Course  has  been  run  for  10  `LHYZ ^P[O NYLH[ YLZ\S[Z :KHUH"  Christ  *O\YJO 9PJOTVUK 9VHK 2LUPS^VY[O *VU[HJ[ *SHPYL! VY JSHPYL'JJR VYN aH GRIEFSHARE  A  recovery  support  group  which  offers  help  and  healing  for  the  pain  you  go  through  when  someone  `V\ SV]L KPLZ 9\U I` :[ 1VOUÂťZ 7HYPZO >`UILYN *VU[HJ[ 2SH\Z HUK )HYIHYH! RSH\ZO'NSVIHS JV aH VY (SZV Y\U I` 4LHKV^YPKNL )HW[PZ[ *O\YJO *HSS :\L!

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MEN’S FELLOWSHIP GROUP ' *O\YJO VM [OL /VS` :WPYP[ 2PYZ[LUOVM >LKULZKH`Z MYVT HT [V WT Call  Rory:  021  701  3201 $57 &$)v  Love  art  and  coffee?  Join  the  Art  CafĂŠ  and  paint/draw/crochet/  teen  youth  groups  whatever  in  the  company  of  other  $PELHV ' *OYPZ[ *O\YJO 2LUPS^VY[O JYLH[P]LZ (S[LYUH[L >LKULZKH` TVYU*HSS 1HYLK! PUNZ HUK L]LUPUNZ ' *O\YJO VM [OL /VS` Union ' 4LHKV^YPKNL )HW[PZ[ *O\YJO :WPYP[ 2PYZ[LUOVM (SS ^LSJVTL HUK MLLS ,THPS 3H\YLU! SH\YLU'TIJ VYN aH MYLL [V IYPUN `V\Y JYLH[P]L MYPLUKZ [VV $PSOLI\ ' *SHYLTVU[ 4L[OVKPZ[ Call  021  701  3201  for  more  details *O\YJO *HSS INTERESTED IN LEARNING SIGN Youth ' *O\YJO VM [OL /VS` :WPYP[ 2PYZ[LUOVM *HSS (UKYL^! /$1*8$*("  It’s  fun!  Email  June  at  Q\ULZPNUSHUN'NTHPS JVT + . ' ,TTHU\LS *O\YJO >`UILYN  *HSS 5PJR`! divorce cancer  support * &XEHG DQG 6XQGD\ 1LWH /LYH ' %(<21' ',925&(  A  series  of  work- :[ 1VOUÂťZ *O\YJO >`UILYN UL_[ [V Living  with  cancer?  Contact  Cancer  shops  aimed  at  anyone  who  has  :WYPUNĂ„LSK *VU]LU[ *VU[HJ[! 2LLNHU )\KKPLZ H Z\WWVY[ WYVQLJ[ [OH[ IYPUNZ experienced  the  devastation  of  separa- VU VY together  cancer  patients  with  a  similar  [PVU VY KP]VYJL :KHUH" *OYPZ[ *O\YJO RLLNHU'Z[QVOUZ VYN aH WYVĂ„SL KPZLHZL HUK [YLH[TLU[ WYV[VJVS 9PJOTVUK 9VHK 2LUPS^VY[O *HSS [VSSMYLL VY NV [V *VU[HJ[ *SHPYL! VY ^^^ JHUJLYI\KKPLZ VYN aH [V YLX\LZ[ JSHPYL'JJR VYN aH support  online

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HABITAT FOR HUMANITY  Help  build  a  house  for  those  without!  Click  on  ^^^ OHIP[H[ VYN aH +81*5< 6&+22/&+,/'5(1  For  H ^LLRS` JVU[YPI\[PVU VM 9 HUK TPU\[LZ VM `V\Y [PTL `V\ JHU MLLK hungry  school  children!  Contact  Claire:  JSHPYL'aL]KL]JV JV aH

spirituality

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thislife.org.za    |    issue  9 31

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WKLVOLIH RUJ ]D Printed  by  CTP  Printers,  Cape  Town

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