Winter 2015
Issue 12
thislife
FREE www.thislife.org.za
in search of meaning
Stormers scrummie Nic Groom on the fickleness
of sport
Are you
a cyber-bully?
Exotic but easy
Muizenberg Rising
Zanzibar coffee chicken
WIN
a night in Stanford, dinner for two, a hair-raising water ride and more!
‘How a weekend changed my life’
Why I froze my eggs
stories of hope l local living l contemporary faith
contents
18
ON THE COVER Cover photos by: Tonya Hester, Patrick Royal
04 localliving Transformed Muizenberg, a new women’s club and water
‘flying’ that Granny wouldn’t like!
06 sportymoment Stormers scrumhalf Nic Groom on the fickleness of sport 08 mylife ‘Why I froze my eggs’: Cape Town comedienne Mary Steward 18 newlife ‘How a weekend changed my life’ Tonya Hester
20 foodielife Exotic but easy Zanzibar coffee chicken 22 teenlife Are you a cyber-bully?
AND THE REST
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12 pastlife Three weeks in the life of a statue of Cecil John Rhodes 13 reallife A day in the life of former model and youth leader Uel Maree 15 parentlife Local lawyer Grant Clark on the joys of winter 16 coolstories Why Seung Young came from Korea to create a haven for schoolchildren in Philippi 24 photomoment Pottery breathes new life into Macassar township 26 infomoment Courses/groups/support for YOU
Tonya Hester
27 capelife Snippets of life in Cape Town 28 marketplace Local classifieds (take the las out of looking) 32 retailtherapy Made in SA! Gifts and goods you feel great about buying
Prizes: up for grabs in this issue One night’s B&B at Blue Gum Country Estate in Stanford p11 Rugby ball signed by the Stormers rugby team p7 donated by Tag Rugby R550 dinner for two at Tiger’s Milk Restaurant, Muizenberg p4
R500 Kolnicks Linen voucher p14 ‘Healthy Emotions, Healthy Weight’ book by Dr Lesly Uys p28 CONGRATS to the winners from our last issue: Anthea Carlse, Pinelands; Devine Muller, Rondebosch; Mike Teubes, Constantia; Wilana van der Merwe, Pinelands
A ‘jetovator’ ride for two near Somerset West p5
CONTACT US Want to give input or send a comment or question to anyone who wrote in this magazine? Email Katy at thislifemag@gmail.com Physically deliver anything (mark it Katy @ thislife mag) to Christ Church Centre, 16 Summerley Road, Kenilworth, tel 021 797 6332
Want thislife delivered to your door? We are FREE but R100 will cover postage & packing for 3 consecutive issues. Email: thislifemag@gmail.com
COMPETITIONS All competitions in this magazine end 14 August 2015. Really sorry if you’re from afar, but all prizes need to be picked up in Cape Town! Normal SMS rates apply (so sorry, free SMSes won’t work) THE BORING BUT TRUE BIT: Please note that all our prizes, including any physical activities, are undertaken entirely at your own risk: we can’t accept any liability whatsoever for any damage or loss you may incur. Also, we may use your name in the next issue of thislife or other channels for publicity purposes. By entering any thislife competition, you accept these terms
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thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
NOW YOU SEE THEM…Invisible (till now) but invaluable,
thislife’s team of proofreaders is the reason our reader’s dunsterdand us
Hello...
and welcome to thislife magazine!
When I first came to Cape Town nearly 20 years ago, I could never have imagined Muizenberg as anything other than a syringe-ridden dump, only worth braving for the occasional swim in its rather nice sea. If you have similar memories, turn to our ‘Muizenberg Rising’ feature (p4) and think again. Muizenberg is on its way up, offering desirable places to eat and visit, plus an attractive villagey area that’s seriously raising its game. Even the once-scrappy turning circle on the beach front is getting a makeover! There’s potential in everything, resilience in Africa, and so many situations that can get turned around. Confronted with xenophobia, crime, unkindness, it’s tempting for us all to lose hope. But my heart skips when I look at our photo of Seung Young, who’s come all the way from Korea to improve the lot of vulnerable children in Cape Town. Determined to help them with an education, some days are so difficult that he lies on his bed in despair. But somehow, he just keeps going. How is this?
opted out of mainstream work to encourage talent and skills in Macassar township: ‘I think the point of life is to copy God and see how many unlikely places there are into which we can breathe friendship and energy.’ Nature, too, thrusts hope upon us. Have a look at the new life pushing through the blackened surrounds of post-fire Cape Town in our new feature, Snippets of Cape Town (p27), and marvel. And after that, celebrate Africa with our Zanzibar coffee chicken (p20). It’s really easy, even for someone like me whose culinary skills may sadly be the one thing that Africa will never manage to redeem. Relax and enjoy!
Katy Macdonald, Ed
Stormers scrumhalf Nic Groom (p6) and Jill Scholtz of Grassy Park (p18) talk of something beyond this crazy world of ours that keeps them going. As does Johan de Meyer (p24), who PS In case you’re wondering,
thislife is anchored by a cool group
of Anglican churches in Cape Town (www.stjohnsparish.org.za)
PPS Thank you to those who write to us – we love it. Contact us any
time on thislifemag@gmail.com – gripes included!
Want another copy of thislife? Go to
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CONTACT US: thislifemag@gmail.com TO ADVERTISE WITH US contact Rebecca on sales.thislifemag@gmail.com or 082 540 5166, or Tonya on 074 672 7369 Other options: click on www.thislife.org.za or ask for Linda on 021 797 6332
OUR TEAM: Editor Katy Macdonald | Picture/Production editor Tonya Hester | Writers Jean Alfeld, Jill Bader, Pam Bailie, Susan Bentley, Grant Clark, Sandy Cadiz-Smith, Ronel de Villiers, Claire Stevenson | Designer Tonya Hester | Advertising/marketing/distribution Rebecca Parry | Prayer support Mary Holgate | Board Brian Burnett, Duncan McLea, Katy Macdonald, Angie Tate, Cindy Webber thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
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locallife
work…
JUST LAUNCHED, ‘Voices’ is a club for working women in a very nice Cape Town location – the Taj Hotel, right opposite St George’s Cathedral. It aims to unite entrepreneurial or corporate women ‘to feed off each other’s energy and even be part of each other’s success’, says Shelley Webb, its energetic British director. R395 per month buys you use of a luxurious ‘co-working’ room, complete with good wi-fi, food and drink service, newspapers and TV. Over 15 monthly events are also thrown into the mix, including a ‘Safe City’ weekly marshalled run, speakers the club calls ‘industry heavyweights’, and charity events in aid of female empowerment. A pricier membership allows use of the hotel’s lap pool and gym and concierge parking, quite a plus for women on the go. Voices Johannesburg, overseen by the club’s other two directors, Radio 5fm presenters Catherine Grenfell and Sureshnie Rider, is set for an October launch – so Cape Town’s ahead on this one. ‘My whole approach is to remove obstacles for women,’ says Shelley. It’ll be interesting to see how quickly the Mother City’s women sign up. More info? Go to www.voicesclub.com Or contact Shelley: Shelley@VoicesClub.com or 072 386 6527
Join the club, darling: will Cape Town’s women sign up for a new city workspace?
Muizenberg
rising
remember muizenBerg as a rubbish-spattered drugland with just its warm, child-friendly waves to recommend it? Think again, dear friend. Some fairies have cleared the broken glass, revamped the gracious old beachfront buildings, painted the jungle gym and even prettified the giant turning circle. Muizenberg is emerging from its ashes as a classy combination of old world ambience and modern functionality. With the painful main road makeover on its way out (done and dusted by the time you read this, we hope), Muizies is more accessible than ever and offers an eclectic mix of attractions that should satisfy most palates. Ocean-wise, surfers, swimmers and stand-up-paddle boarders seem to co-exist pretty harmoniously at what is probably Cape Town’s nicest swimming beach. But if you’re shark-phobic, there’s enough to do on dry land. Thrill seekers can try the land sailing (go-karting with a sail), while normal people can simply walk the endless beach or follow the ocean path to the St James tidal pool. At the Lakeside end, Muizenberg’s up-and-coming villagey area has some gorgeous revamped cottages to hanker after, and its mini high street, Palmer Road, is getting interesting. The V & A Waterfront it’s not: we’re talking tiny. But it’s full of character, and worth a visit after a swim. What’s here? Amongst other attractions lurk a satirical t-shirt shop, an artsy gift and picture framing outfit and Joolz Vintage Café, which offers caffeine in many guises, polka dot tablecloths and a pizza called ‘Dude’. Here’s our selection of Muizenberg highlights...
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thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
eat...
On its way up: Muizenberg is transforming
Welcome to tiger’s milk, a desirable addition to Muizenberg’s culinary and social scene. Part of the Harbour House Group, yet a different animal. More hip, less pricey, with a spectacular location offering the vast, sweeping ocean and the chance to sit for hours watching the beach action.
! Milk WIoN r’s at Tige
for tw Dinner R550. alue of a to the v k.co. z ersmil ig 08 .t 8 3 w 3 to ww TIGER S M S Y in SIMPL e to w r chanc for you e nds etition Comp ust 2015 14 Aug
The restaurant’s a huge raw-brick space with mismatched furniture, decanters dangling from the ceiling and long communal tables. Food is prettily served on a wooden board and includes superior salads (try the fab avo and feta one), impressively cooked linefish, burgers, ribs, pizzas and substantial portions of spicy peri-peri chicken. And finally, there are the steaks on which Tiger’s Milk prides itself, offered in five cuts and two sizes. Booking essential if you want to see the sea without binoculars. Pluses: great décor and views. Decent, satisfying food with some interesting innovations. Good value. Minuses: service can be a little laid-back (and for some, a little trop hipster?)
what’s new in cape town?
WIN !
A 20-minute
jetovator ride for two www.jetova tor.co.za Simply SMS JET to 3380 8 for your chance to win Competitio n en 14 August 2 ds 015 tell us this isn’t fun! The ‘jetovator’ at Blue Rock near Somerset West brings a new thrill to the jaded. High pressure water jets power the brave up above the water, enabling them to ‘fly’ up to eight metres in the air. The idea of balancing atop a moving hose might sound crazy but it’s actually so stable that almost anyone can manage it within minutes (okay, not Granny), and fundis end up performing backflips and barrel rolls. Don’t worry, you won’t be stuck up there for ever. An instructor following you on a jet ski operates the whole caboodle and will help you get down again…
scream…
Local living
locallife
The ‘ jetovator’: Granny wouldn’t like it
Where? Blue Rock Adventure Park, Sir Lowry’s Pass, Somerset West. For more info, go to www.jetovator.co.za or call Pierre on 082 785 0902. Boring bit: not for under 12s, and under 16s need signed parental consent. NB: At R650 per 20 mins of jetovating, you might want to enter our competition to do this!
play...
muizenberg: the deets
the blue bird garage Market calls itself a ‘one-stop Friday evening venue dedicated to the procurement of gourmet dishes, ingredients, fresh food, artisan products and bespoke goods’. Which sums it up quite well. It’s a mini version of the Old Biscuit Mill Neighbourgoods Market, but a touch more seaside (super-relaxed clientele and surfboards hanging from the rafters). Employing that tried and tested combo of good food in a spacious warehouse setting, it’s hard to go wrong here. Agonise between Vietnamese crystal rolls, Bo-Kaap curries, Japanese ‘creamy cakes’, Banting tarts and The Boerie Kitchen, then sit down with your choice(s), and maybe a glass of vino, at a central trestle table. Lying in wait in a side room are funky clothes and clobber, secondhand books, all-natural body products and a lady who’ll plait your hair with silk thread if you’re into that kind of thing. Parental plus: a supervised, fenced-off creative children’s area (R20, own risk).
Tonya Hester
be cultural...
it’s winter, it’s raining and if the kids don’t kill each other, you’ll probably finish them off yourself? It’s all going to be all right. Take them off to Planet Kids, a large indoor building where you can watch them letting off steam on things like the ‘intergalactic ball wall’, foofie slide and jumping castles. If you arrange it in advance, you can even leave the little darlings there while you pop out for a little bit of sanity. Glam, it’s not: the street and building are definitely tired − but do the kids give a hoot? There’s a great ethos here: special needs children are welcomed, and there’s an OT on the staff. Hooray!
shop...
one hundred percent sumptuous, Casa Labia is a little over the top but all is forgiven since it’s Italian, darling. Built in 1930 by Italian Count Labia and his South African wife Ida (who later founded The Labia art cinema), all its furniture, chandeliers, mirrors, ceiling panels and wall fabrics were imported from Venice. When the count died, it went through a few ups and downs but was recently restored to its former glory. Now a cultural centre, it regularly hosts arty happenings such as talks on the pre-Raphaelites or live recitals of Dvorak dance tunes washed down by champagne and canapés. Casa Labia also boasts a light and airy art gallery, nice little gift shop and posh café/restaurant where you can luxuriate in the Italian glories of prosciutto and pecorino − or go local with a scone, jam and cream.
Tiger’s Milk Restaurant & Bar: Corner of Beach and Sidmouth Roads, 021 788 1869. Open seven days a week for lunch and dinner, kitchen opens at 11am, www.tigersmilk.co.za Casa Labia Cultural Centre and Café: 192 Main Road, open 10am to 4pm Tuesday to Sunday. Cultural centre: 021 788 6068, café 021 788 6062, www.casalabia.co.za Blue Bird Garage Market: 39 Albertyn Road, right next to False Bay train station (not Muizenberg station), open 4 to 10pm every Friday night Planet Kids: 3 Wherry Road, 021 788 3070, www.planetkids.co.za Open 10am to 6pm Wednesday to Sunday including school and public holidays. Cost? 2 to 13 years: R35 for the first hour (R60 for 2 hours). Under twos: R25 per hour Joolz Vintage Café: 40 Palmer Road, 076 099 5109, open 8am to 5pm or 10pm on Fridays and Saturdays. Closed Mondays
Casa Labia offers food and arty goings-on in a setting that’s gloriously over the top thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
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sportymoment
‘I don’t take success personally’ Stormers scrum-half Nic Groom on what’s in his fridge, his most irritating habit and the fickleness of sport
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thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
Peter Heeger
Stormers scrum-half NIC GROOM, 25, was born in King William’s Town and moved to Cape Town at the age of 10 when his father started teaching at Rondebosch Boys’ Prep School. He played both SA Schools waterpolo and rugby throughout high school. At UCT he managed the rare feat of completing a degree while playing for Western Province and the Stormers, as well as for UCT’s Ikey Tigers. Now fully immersed in the Stormers, where he stands out for his unpredictability, Nic shares an apartment in Newlands with a friend, and family support is close at hand: his parents, Chris and Sharlene, and only sibling, Hayley, now all teach at Bishops Prep School in nearby Rondebosch
sportymoment
WIN!
A rugby ball signed by the Stormers rugby team, donated by www.tagrugby.co.za
w
Simply SMS STORMERS to 33808 for your chance to win Competition ends 14 August 2015
hat’s in your fridge? Some strawberries, chicken strips and a stir-fry mix, a Red Bull, two avos, a bottle of water, a craft beer and some milk
Ultimate comfort food? A nice Thai green curry with some delicious naan bread
seeing my name in a newspaper headline on a lamp post, which was hard. The whole experience forced me to figure out what was really important in life, as well as who. I realised whose opinions mattered, and chose to surround myself only with those people. The whole process has really taught me a lot about myself I really should stop…? Procrastinating
Most irritating habit in self? I’m so easily distracted Most irritating habit in others? Dishonesty and people who are afraid of making commitments Why rugby? It’s one of the few team sports where every single player plays a role in the team’s success. Without every player buying into the team or the environment, you simply won’t succeed: the better team will always triumph over any individual Why the Stormers? Cape Town’s been home to me for the past 14 years. At the moment, WP Rugby has so many great young players and there’s potential to do great things. I feel it’s my time to be here and play a role in that. It does help that we live in the most beautiful city in the world! Best sporting moments? Winning the Currie Cup in Durban and seeing my dad in the crowd. Winning the Varsity Cup with UCT in Pretoria, and playing in a Currie Cup final in front of a packed Newlands in 2013, then celebrating with all my close friends and family UCT’s Ikey Tigers? The Ikey Tigers are the reason I play rugby – I don’t think you’ll find another organisation like them. The people I met while playing there have become my true friends, and the welcoming, positive environment has really influenced me. Their culture and values helped ignite in me a strong passion to become a better person, and ensured I enjoy myself while playing
People who’ve inspired you, and why? My dad, just the way he lives his life and the great example he’s set for my sister and me. And American Tom Brady, one of the best quarterbacks in NFL history, who overcame opinions and stigmas to reach the top of his game: his drive and self-belief inspire me How keen are you to play for the Springboks? I’m very hopeful that one day I’ll represent my country. It’s the pinnacle for any South African rugby player. In no ways will making the Springboks define who I am, but I do have a great desire to play for South Africa Life after rugby? This question scares me a bit! My hope is that by the time I finish playing I’ll know exactly what I’m going to do! I have a passion for getting others to succeed. Hopefully, one day I’ll be able to help with the personal, spiritual and educational development of people, helping them achieve some great things!
Bishops was founded by Bishop Robert Gray in Cape Town in 1849, and is a boys’ day and boarding school which provides a world class education from Grade R to Matric.
Guilty pleasure? Watching series on my laptop! Best piece of advice you’ve been given? ‘Don’t take your success personally’. My former home group leader from church, Dylan Langheim, said this to me, and it’s stuck with me. Not taking my success personally allows me not to take my defeats personally. It’s a mindset that’s given me so much freedom in my career. Sport is so fickle and subjective, the only opinion that really matters is mine! Why God? God is fulfilling and eternal. These are two things that don’t exist anywhere in the world today. No person or thing out there will last forever, and nothing out there can satisfy me like a relationship with God can How do you connect with God? Church on a Sunday and being involved with my church community helps me connect with God. Serving at church, as well as being in a home group with great people. We meet up once a week and just do life together. I also love listening to podcast sermons on my way to training in the morning Hardest thing you ever had to do, and how you coped with it? Getting dropped from the Stormers for seven weeks in 2012. It was a really tough thing to experience. I remember
For more information, contact marketing@bishops.org.za | 021 659 1043 | www.bishops.org.za Camp Ground Rd, Rondebosch, 7700
Bishops offers superb music, cultural, academic, sporting & boarding facilities.
thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
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mylife
Mary Steward, 41, was born in KwaZulu-Natal, the younger of two children,
h
She grew up in the farming district of Wartburg and moved to Westville, where she finished school at Westville Girls’ High before completing a degree in drama and English at Pietermaritzburg University. Her career over the years has spanned creative organisational development, retail management and corporate theatre. She now lives between her cottage in Stanford and apartment in Bantry Bay, working as an actress, facilitator and speaker. Here, she talks to Claire Stevenson about life, love and her decision to freeze her eggs…
ow on earth did I get here?’ I said to my mother as we sat together in the waiting room of a Cape Town fertility clinic in August last year. I was about to embark on a procedure that would result in the harvesting, then freezing, of my eggs. I couldn’t understand how I could be in this position. I still couldn’t believe I wasn’t married with children by now. I’d never doubted the sequence of events that would unfold in my life. School, study, travel, marry, 4 x 4, rose garden… and a baby. I’d always been a nurturer. At five, my favourite game was dollies and schools. The dolls weren’t as responsive as I’d have liked, so younger friends who came to play got more than they bargained for: flashcards and ‘homework’. Mom had to rein me in when other mothers started complaining that their kids couldn’t cope with the workload! I babied everything from the cat to my cousins, and my poor doll was fed more mashed banana than she could handle. I also took to the stage from a young age, performing for anyone who’d watch me. But in my eyes, and I think the eyes of virtually everyone who knew me, motherhood was the most likely scenario for my life.
freedom In Matric, our Afrikaans teacher went around the class making fun predictions for each girl. When she got to me, she said ‘Ooh Mary, I can see that name in lights, and you know what else? I see you happily married with lots of kids’. Most people thought I’d be the first. It made sense to assume that. I was the first of my friends to be in a serious relationship. I met Peter (not his real name), the loveliest, smiley-faced Kearsney boy, at the local beerfest. Soon we fell in love. He would fetch me from school most days with a strawberry Yogisip and a big smile. 8
thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
We dated throughout my university years and the post-varsity gap year that I took overseas. During my travels around London and other parts of Europe, I became giddy with the independence and freedom I experienced. Peter waited for me to settle down, but after six years of his patient waiting, our relationship ended.
marriage There were two other significant relationships in my life but I was serious about it needing to be just right before the final commitment. As much as I wanted marriage, it was too serious to take lightly. If the connection wasn’t right, I wasn’t prepared to push through. My last relationship seemed to tick all the boxes and I even sighed, thinking, ‘This makes sense. Now I see why I needed to wait.’ Believing this to be the one, I made a bold decision to move in with him. Internally, I had always been a seeker of truth. I remember as young as 10 sensing there had to be more than what we saw around us. Teachers and adults around me would have described me as having a vivid imagination. A teacher, Mrs Gething, taught us about Jesus, and at boarding school when the lights went out, I’d speak to him. I also attended church with my granny, Joy. This was all pre-teen. Once I became a teenager, I felt church would cramp my style. Besides, there were far too many parties to attend, outfits to plan and boys to meet. The gnawing feeling that there was more to life than there appeared on the surface kicked in again at age 20 when I went travelling. I began reading books like The Celestine Prophecy. This was the start of a journey into ‘alternative’ spirituality. The key message I absorbed from it was that all religion was dogma designed to dumb down and control the people. It made sense to me, supporting what my mom had experienced in a legalistic branch of the church early in her life. Deciding that she wanted freedom in her search for meaning, my
mother had visited psychics. This produced powerful results initially, leading me to follow suit. My first visit to a clairvoyant took place because I was battling over whether to stay in my relationship with Peter or not. But that kind of got left behind as I discovered a whole new spiritual dimension. The clairvoyant told me about all my past lives. They were fascinating. I had been everything from a Knight Templar to a witch burnt at the stake. It seemed I’d been even more amazing than I could ever have imagined! I studied meditation, went on Buddhist retreats, had my numbers, astrological charts, palms, feet and even my tea leaves read. Crystals were big too – their healing properties were ancient, and I learnt how to tap into their ‘energy’.
candy store When my poor dad was dying of cancer in 2002, Mom and I put crystals in his bed. We still chuckle when we remember him saying, ‘Ah girls, these bloody rocks man, they’re uncomfortable,’ as he rolled over them. The first years of this spiritual path delivered exciting experiences where I felt uplifted by, and almost heady with, the expansive sense of a higher dimension. Interested in psychology and human behaviour, I felt alive with this search into alternative philosophies and modalities of healing. I was like a kid in a candy store and everywhere I turned, there was another path down which to walk. When Dad died and I moved to Cape Town, my spiritual walk intensified. His death and a destructive relationship in Durban were key triggers that made me take my journey even more seriously. I set up a creative communications business in Cape Town, bought a flat and, before long, the work was rolling in. All this had been predicted by another psychic, even down to the green paint that would be on the walls of the office space I found. I had a great group of friends and my social life was
ourlives
why i froze my
Tonya Hester
eggs
Actress and speaker Mary Steward on life’s ups and downs, her longing for a baby, and how she ultimately found peace‌ thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
9
children But back to my relationship! Remember, I was thinking, ‘Aah, now it all makes sense.’ I moved in with that guy at the age of 34, believing him to be ‘the one’. We discussed children: although he had kids from a previous marriage, we would have one of our own too. We bought a place and things were going well, I thought. My crystals and buddhas had their place in our place. So I was beyond devastated when he came home about 18 months later to say, ‘Sorry, I can’t do this.’ The breakup of that relationship in 2010 was the start of a rather rapid internal spiral downwards. Now what? Which book? Which crystal? Which guru? I moved into the house we had started to renovate. It had no roof and I had no money. It felt symbolic of…well…me. Then my car just stopped, work dried up and it was as if someone was pulling life force plugs out of me one by one. Like a Duracell bunny without a battery, I was done. Meditating and incense did little to bring life and hope. Empty, I went to Mom and told her I didn’t have the will to take another breath, let alone wake up for tomorrow and the muddy hardships I’d come to expect every day. Scared, Mom suggested I speak to my life coach, the
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That evening, she called back. ‘Look, Mary, I can see that it feels dark and you’ve no idea what to do.’ ‘Um, yes’, I said, waiting with pen and paper to write down her valued advice. ‘It’s quite simple and I don’t know how you are going to take this.’ ‘Yes?’ ‘Well… Jesus is calling you.’ ‘Do you mean the ascended masters?’ ‘No, Jesus Christ. He’s waiting at the foot of the cross.’
Mary, aged 3
awkward I put the phone down and thought, ‘That was a bit lame!’ I’d been expecting a past life or childhood issue that ‘spirits’ were directing me to move through, which was how our phone calls usually played out. Not this time. Now at the end of the line, God broke through. I was literally on my knees, and I believe He used the only voice to which I would listen. I closed the door and prayed. I had nothing to lose. Moving between folded hands and a meditation pose, I felt awkward. How does one pray, anyway? Eventually, I collapsed on the bed and said, ‘OK, Jesus, I’ll make you the Lord of my life. Please make this real for me though. I need to know you’re real.’
© Mary Steward
My outer life was probably enviable, and there were days I loved my life too. I needed the spiritual fix, however, at least twice a month and I started regular sessions with a lady I called my spiritual life coach in Muizenberg. She was psychic and had trained as a sangoma, which gave her a teacher status. I took her word as truth. Her voice carried the greatest authority in my life. She encouraged me to explore my sexuality and I did courses on energy healing, colour therapy… you name it! When I dipped, our sessions together helped keep me on track and give me a greater perspective. We delved into childhood, past lives, wounds that led to patterns of behaviour. Some of that was amazingly helpful, especially in the beginning. However, it started to become hard to follow and too fluid in the end. I felt I was at a banquet buffet that was actually a mirage – I’d be eating roast beef, then doughnuts, but then I’d see the cake… I felt insatiable and never at home. Ultimately, peace eluded me.
psychic teacher who had offered direction and encouraged me. I agreed to give her a call. She heard my tearful cry for help and promised to ‘tune in’ and call me back. I sat waiting for hope.
Gap year freedom: Mary in Oxford, aged 22
And so began the best relationship I’ve ever had. It felt as if Jesus wooed me. Every day, little prayers were answered. My car started. An old client called. A number of things were restored in my world and we spoke a lot, Jesus and me. Well, mostly it was I who spoke! But I felt him. That evening on the bed I had also prayed, ‘Please can this just be between you and me, don’t send me any Christians!’ Jesus answered that prayer until I was ready, about six months later, for the most surprisingly beautiful friendships with Christians who actually wore nice shoes, not the nasty sandals I was expecting! People of integrity, who were vulnerable, funny and honest about their life with God. People who were accessible and plugged into a source of love and truth I simply couldn’t deny. I sussed church out from the back for a while. The singing always made me cry.
© Mary Steward
active with parties, book club and lazy days on the beach.
© Mary Steward
mylife
Bridesmaid: Mary (back row, third from left), at her brother’s wedding in 1999
mylife WIN!
www.bluegum.co.za | reservations@bluegum.co.za I felt God and knew He was glad. Over time, I started to realise I had ‘come home’. I was still dealing with life and real challenges such as a compromised immune system, renovating a cottage without much money and needing to secure more work. The difference was, I was not alone. I felt safe. I surrendered more and more to God’s plan and will for my life. When praying, I would hear a whisper of ‘trust me’ right into my heart. I found in the Bible, in the books of Jeremiah and Isaiah, that God promises to restore His people. It felt as if He was also answering small prayers that were building my trust and faith. Those little answered prayers meant much, but it was the peace within that was more real than anything else.
Experience an opportunity to relax in comfortable, tranquil surrounds with good food, superb wines, great views and plenty of fresh air. Simply SMS BLUE to 33808 for your chance to win one night’s bed & breakfast for two people sharing at Blue Gum Country Estate in Stanford, near Hermanus. Competition ends 14 August 2015
intimacy The past few years have been a beautiful deepening in my intimacy with Jesus. I go through periods where I want to spend as much time as possible with him and I’ll wake up early to journal and pray and read my bible. Those times are precious and I feel filled up, but there are times when I am preoccupied with the world and work and find myself only quickly chatting to him on the plane or in the car between meetings. That’s OK! I exhale remembering God’s grace. Today, I have treasured Christian friends and belong to a forum of women that meets once a month. We go through life together and support each other when we need to and hold each other accountable to God’s way. I attend Common Ground Church and am amazed at how God has started using my gifts of performance and speaking at church. Never saw that coming! I have an amazing job and life in Cape Town. I get invited to talk at corporates, schools and gatherings I would never have imagined attending, including ones overseas. My cottage is now renovated and beautiful. It has a roof, the most exquisite views, and even a rose garden! I love my job and have the most enriching and special relationship with my brother and his children, a wonderful relationship with my mother who lives close by, and unbelievably great friends. I am blessed in so many ways. But most importantly of all, my insatiable search for meaning and that all-elusive truth has ended. I really feel I’ve found it in Jesus Christ. So much has changed, and yet other circumstances have stayed the same. My life still has its challenges. As the Bible says in the book of John, ‘In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’ I do take heart. This is truth. Christ is present and real to me. I now believe that my main purpose in life is to bring a message of hope to a searching world. Of course, I still long for a husband and a baby. My hormones were perfectly balanced on that first fertility procedure and a spectacular 12 eggs were harvested. Trust me, that’s a lot of eggs for a 40-year-old! I stand in a place trusting God not because He has fulfilled my every heart’s desire, but because I’m learning that His timing and design are beyond what we can imagine. He’s the Creator, and so uniquely creative in each of our lives. And He brings me a peace I never had before.’
thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
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pastlife Captured on film...
Three weeks in the life of a UCT statue‌
March 30, 2015
Tonya Hester
March 24, 2015
April 9, 2015
Former mining magnate Cecil John Rhodes arguably created more controversy in three weeks this year than during his entire lifetime. Student protests about his statue, which dominated the campus at the University of Cape Town, sparked off a wave of nationwide protest about Rhodes and other colonial figures, and spread as far afield as Grahamstown, Zimbabwe and Oxford University. The statue was finally removed in April to an undisclosed location, its fate still to be decided in a process that has involve the public. Some students continue to object to what they view as colonial legacies in UCT’s teaching structures and buildings 12 thislife.org.za | issue 12 | witner 2015
reallife
Tonya Hester
‘the day I broke MY NECK’ Uel Maree says he experienced extraordinary peace in the midst of trauma
A life in the day of former youth leader and model Uel Maree
i
31-year-old uel maree was born in Durban, an only brother to three sisters, and moved to Cape Town eight years ago. A former adventure camp organiser and outdoor enthusiast who modelled both locally and overseas for nearly 10 years, Uel’s life changed in 2011 when he broke his neck and was left paralysed from the chest down. Uel, who lives in Bergvliet with his parents, spoke to Pam Bailie
usually wake up at about 7am because by then my body’s had enough sleep. Since the accident, my metabolism and blood circulation have slowed down. This, coupled with my inability to move around much, adjust the blankets or move my pillow, all adds to physical restlessness. I use my time alone in the mornings to pray. For the first six months after my accident all I prayed for was healing, and though I still trust God, I don’t need to bash His door down every moment about it! I pray for family and friends, our country and Zuma. I pray for celebrities a lot, too, as they influence the masses. My dad comes in at 7.30am to open my curtains, help me sit up and do some stretches. Later, my ‘Swiss Army knife’ mom turns me onto my side, stretches my legs and sets up my iPad in front of me on a stand. At the moment I’m watching a sermon series by Keith Moore and my go-to guys are Tim Keller and David Pawson. I can only use one finger, but that’s all I need for my iPad!
load-shedding I read many online articles covering the full spectrum from religion to politics to human rights to business and science. Before my accident I wasn’t much of an entrepreneur, but now I need to think outside the box. I’m learning about the stock market, looking into solutions to beat load-shedding, dabbling in selling insurance and wanting to start a charity. I sometimes speak at events but I’m no motivational speaker. I’m just a guy with a story of how I’m on a journey trying to figure out life.
I broke my neck on December 15, 2011. I was a leader at a youth camp and it was a day like any other. I had a bounce in my step, the sun was shining and strength flowed through my limbs. We were building a raft and, when it was launch time, I dived in as I’d done many times before. This time, as my hands dipped below the water, they struck a hard object and my head followed straight into something hard. I realised I’d messed up badly but there was no pain as I lay there holding my breath, face down in the water and unable to turn over. I could hear a couple of the campers saying, ‘Uel’s just playing a joke’.
freaked If someone had told me, ‘Uel, this afternoon you’re going to break your neck and be paralysed’, I would have freaked out. Yet at the moment the bones crunched in my neck, I had this peace enter and calm me like I’ve never experienced before. I know that peace came from God. Even now after three years, though I’m not thrilled by my current situation, that peace is still with me and keeps me going. I was hauled out and operated on and woke up five days later. Through a haze of medication I finally understood I had broken my C5 vertebra. A couple of specialists gave the prognosis of ‘You’ll never recover’, but their words never penetrated my thick skull. I’m all for being real about a situation and not having false hope, but they don’t realise how strong the body and mind are, and how miracles happen all the time. For the first six months I couldn’t move
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much. But then every couple of weeks I’d wake up and something new could move. One morning, I woke up and my wrists could move, then my triceps, and on another my stomach muscles started working... But what I get most excited about is my growth as an individual. I’m so thankful for a sound mind and its connection to my spirit. As a family, we try to go out every now and then. Both the mountain and ocean work wonders: parking off at Muizenberg Beach is good for my soul. However, getting me into a car is no simple task. At six foot two, I have to be contorted by my parents into some strange positions! I see my core friends once a week at our fellowship group, and other friends pop in every now and then for a catch-up. My sisters all live in other cities but they visit as often as possible. It’s always great to see people in between physio, movie evenings and naptime!
grow Of course, I wanted that instant miracle from the day of my accident but it didn’t happen. Without getting too theological: can God heal me? Yes. Did Jesus ever refuse to heal someone? No. That’s all I need. I’m using my time now to learn and grow because all I’m going through now is just building a better me for tomorrow. Lights out is normally about 10.30pm. It may sound clichéd, but I recite Psalm 23 a couple of times and then normally doze off.’ Catch Uel on YouTube: ‘Uel - The Journey Continues’
thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015 13
WIN!
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thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
parentlife
the joys
of winter
Cape Town dad GRANT CLARK asks you not to judge him I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY,
but until you have kids you lack appreciation for many things. You may enjoy these things and claim to appreciate them, but you don’t. I have to agree with Phil Collins on this one: you only really appreciate things when you can’t have them anymore. Sleep, that’s a good one. I remember that fondly. I think I used to enjoy that. The ability to watch Stormers v Bulls without being interrupted by Rapunzel dangling (in frankly a dangerous and irresponsible fashion) from her tower. A bath – with fewer than four people in it, three of whom appear to be training for the idiot Olympics, and only one you can guarantee didn’t pee in the bath. A meal – without at least one food group shaped like a dinosaur. And of course, the point of this column, with the onset of winter: good health. What people don’t tell you is that having a child is like having in your house a personal mini Typhoid Mary (who she? A family cook and the first-identified asymptomatic carrier of typhoid in the USA). In my case, I have three of them. With kids, disease becomes your constant companion and your medical aid plan your constant enemy. On the upside, you do learn a host of new skills, eg being able to tell what season it is by simply observing what is dripping out of your child’s nose. I cannot fully express to you the sense of panic you feel as you hold a four-
year-old Sizzles under the shower, clothes and all, trying to wash a well-digested-and-now-reappeared lunch off her, knowing that it’s just a question of hours before it’s you with your head in a bucket and Sizzles sitting on her stool next to you, laughing because ‘Daddy sounds funny!’ Nothing says ‘I love you, Dad’ quite like the gift of nausea and extreme gastric distress? I’d like to say I’m a competent parent in the face of illness, but that would be a bald-faced lie. In our house, The Lovely Jacs is the stoic and dependable parent in the face of disease. I’m whatever the opposite of that is. I’m the one who has an overdeveloped sympathetic gag reflex, which despite having the word ‘sympathetic’ in it is not very sympathetic, especially for the person who has to do the cleaning up, ie not the person with the sympathetic gag reflex. I’m also the one who’s been known, to my shame, to scream like a little girl, drop the child I’m holding and run out the room at the first sign of a lunch re-run. But let’s not judge people. I’d like to say that I remember what it was like to be healthy, but the honest truth is I simply don’t. I may not have a Typhoid Mary in my house, but I do have a Typhoid Moose, Mackers and Sizzles. So what chance do I have? By the way, we’re looking for babysitters. Anyone interested?
Grant Clark is an attorney specialising in maritime law. He’s also a pastor at Common Ground Church, Constantiaberg
thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
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Loving the
poorest of the poor Fuelled by a strong vision, Seung Young has given up his comfortable Korean life to care for vulnerable Cape Town children
SEUNG YOUNG (52) grew up in Seoul, South Korea, one of five children of a
construction labourer. His extended family supported his education, and he went on to win a university scholarship to study machine design. After graduation, Seung worked as a construction project manager for Standard Chartered Bank for years, but always longed to care for vulnerable children. In 2007, he moved to Cape Town with his two children, leaving his wife, Joy, working in Seoul as a banker to fund the family and Seung’s work. In 2012, Seung established The Children’s Library for underprivileged children in Philippi. Here, he tells Jean Alfeld about his vision… During my time in the corporate world, I had a good life. I was able to build a four-storey house for my extended family and send my children to good schools. However, my childhood dream had always been to work with vulnerable children, and after I’d been earning good money for years, it was time to start giving back. I also wanted to journey spiritually and study theology. I chose to come to South
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Africa because it’s English-speaking, has good schools and institutions for further study, and is so beautiful. My vision was clear, so despite concerns about security over here, I was more determined than afraid when I left Joy behind in South Korea and moved over with our children. When we arrived, I registered my son Joseph, who was 14 at the time, at Abbotts College and my daughter, Pearl, at Greenfields Girls’ Primary, both in Claremont. My English was
a challenge, but they adapted pretty easily to English, schoolwork and their social lives, though going through puberty without their mother’s guidance and support was a struggle! Joseph went on to study Philosophy, Politics and Economics at UCT before returning recently to South Korea for compulsory military service. Pearl went through Rustenburg Girls’ High, and is currently at UCT studying the cello. The biggest difference between Cape Town
Tonya Hester
coolstories
coolstories
and Seoul is the environment: Seoul is stressful and polluted, Cape Town is relaxed and clean! I bought a town house in Kenilworth for us with a beautiful private garden and registered at Cornerstone College, where I’m now in my third year of studies in Christian ministry. With other missionaries, I visited several informal settlements and was deeply touched by the extreme poverty I witnessed. I was particularly drawn to a community called Jim se Bos on the outskirts of Philippi, which houses the poorest of the poor. Jim se Bos has about 350 shacks and is built on private land so the city can’t provide services, though it’s installed a few taps, toilets and a dumpster just outside the area. The level of hygiene is shocking and there are great environmental hazards. A few of the adults work on nearby farms or as construction workers, but most are unemployed and uneducated. The levels of alcoholism, addiction, abuse and crime are very high. When I first went to Jim se Bos, my heart broke for the malnourished and vulnerable children living there. Some don’t even go to school.
homework Two years ago, one of the little boys was electrocuted while playing in a puddle. This drove me to set up somewhere to keep the children in a safe, happy place while receiving basic education. In 2012, my work began in earnest. I installed a number of wendy houses on top of a disused dump in Jim se Bos, and started on The Children’s Library. I gradually introduced tables, chairs and shelves to create a library and homework room for the kids. Thus, my first project took off! We run morning and afternoon sessions. In the morning I give the little children sandwiches and fruit. Together with my co-librarians Daphne and Elaine, who come from the Jim se Bos community, I usually pray with the children, read them bible stories and show them the love of Jesus. I just try to shine his light in this terrible place. The afternoon is mainly for schoolchildren who come to read books,
and we help them with homework where needed and have just started a maths club. I try to feed these children as well, but financial constraints don’t allow for it every day. I believe that the only way these children can escape this poverty trap is through education. I’m determined to get them enrolled in local preschools, connected with other institutions and going on outings to be introduced to a different way of life. As a boy, I had Sunday school teachers who loved and believed in me, and this is what I’m trying to do for these children.
playground Last year, a boy called Puddle was killed by a careless driver. I got a late-night call from our caretaker and found Puddle lying on the road with his head full of blood. I cried and cried, and asked God why these things happen to these vulnerable children. The next day, I started building a garden and playground in front of the library to keep the children off the streets. This was project number two. I recently bought up some shacks, demolished them and created a bigger play area. I also planted many trees, but some have been stolen! I’ve also had my car stolen, the library has been robbed and the garden gets damaged and littered. It’s especially depressing and isolating when this is done by people I’ve helped. Sometimes I feel such despair, I just lie on my bed overwhelmed and struggling to understand and perceive God’s guidance. But then He pulls me forward and I feel His presence within me. Each time I see the children or work with people in the community, building or cleaning, God gives me joy, and I feel a strong bond with these people, and a happiness that God’s with us as a community. And I’m a really happy old man when enjoying an after-work glass of beer with the adults! I believe God is with this community, crying at their utter despair, and that He’s given me the privilege of embracing these people. When things go wrong, I don’t believe it means He doesn’t care. Rather, it leads me to discover new opportunities.
I sing in two choirs, including the Cape Town Philharmonia Choir and my church choir, and it leaves me feeling purified and transported into another realm. It’s a time to free myself, and keeps me connected with the strength of God’s joy. Until recently my projects were self-funded through my savings and my wife Joy’s salary. When my son went to UCT, I sold the Kenilworth house and downsized to live near Jim se Bos so I could use the money for the project. It was tough for my children to live in this isolated farming area with a father who didn’t always have the energy to care for his own children, and I feel guilty about that still. But, thanks to God, they now understand, and support and pray for me and the library, while Joy prays for me back in Korea. We are so hoping she’ll be able to move over here later this year.
dandelion I’ve started to need to raise funds, so I set up a charity shop in Wynberg where we sell donated items. Some people also donate money to the project and I sincerely wish to thank all the donors. Friends at Christ Church, Kenilworth, are also praying for me and helping me with more plans such as a new library in a container. My email address is ‘dandelion63’ because in South Korea the dandelion is a symbol of perseverance which survives through the toughest winters. Sometimes I feel I’m too meek and mild and lacking in self-esteem, but in my work I feel I’ve become strong like the dandelion because I believe I’m doing what God wants me to do, and I’m not afraid to speak out when needed. My father named me Seung Young, which means ‘measuring bucket’, a very useful thing. I believe I must be useful in this world. God put me here to bring hope and change, so this is what I strive to do every day.’
Please contact Seung on dandelion63@naver.com if you would like to offer any help to The Children’s Library in the form of assistance, children’s books or a donation. Seung’s Wynberg Hope Link Charity Shop can be found at the corner of Mosque and Broad Roads
this page proudly sponsored by Neville Wellington and Charlie Miller
thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
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newlife
‘How a weekend changed my life’ JILL SCHOLTZ, 35, grew up in Strandfontein, the youngest of the three children of a
Tonya Hester
policeman and a housewife. She attended Strandfontein Primary and Secondary Schools, and worked in a bridal shop and then clothing retail before moving to her current admin job at an academic publishing house. She now lives in Grassy Park with her mother and her daughter Chloe, 5. Here, she talks to Jill Bader
Jill Scholtz says an Alpha course helped her deal with life’s challenges
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thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
newlife
I grew up in a privileged home and my father really looked after us. But I had a low self-esteem. I always thought I’m not as good as the others. I was a big girl, and got teased a lot because of my height. It changed when guys started paying attention to me and I began dating. I experienced a lot of peer pressure, partied a lot and had a full social life. It was a bit of a reckless life. I grew up a Baptist and believed God existed, God was good, but I didn’t make Him my first option – more like my last resort! I could write a book or two on everything that went on in my life! I gave birth to Chloe when I was 30. She wasn’t planned. Her father was very supportive, he helped during the pregnancy and all of that, and promised my Dad that he’d marry me. Then my dad had a heart attack and died in my arms. He couldn’t breathe and I felt him dying. Chloe’s dad left me the very next week. He called on the Monday to tell me he’d got married at the weekend. With the baby, I was paying less attention to him, and I think that made him go and look somewhere else. Two men in one week, two important men in my life were gone. It was devastating. Soon after this loss I thought I might be dying too. My mom held me in her arms and spoke soothingly to me. I thought it might be the end, but it was just a panic attack. I said nothing, I did nothing about Chloe’s dad leaving because I had a seven-month-old baby to look after. His wife knew about me and harassed me with unfriendly messages. I used to cry when I was changing Chloe’s nappies, the tears running down onto her while I talked to her as if she was older. I was really, really hurting but I forced myself to get over the loss.
emotional When my dad died, life was very hard. I had already moved to my Granny’s house in Athlone because she was alone, but I was still struggling financially because I wasn’t getting much child support. I was emotional all the time and I felt I was existing, not living: I just went to work every day, looked after my child and went back to work again. I thought this was what life was about: no life. I was the only person looking after Chloe, and I would also say I wasn’t living the life I was supposed to. I didn’t really think about God at all during that time. I didn’t want to attach myself to churchy things. With all my family involved in church as I grew up, I’d become tired of church and all that stuff, and just started doing my own
thing. I prayed and trusted God, but I didn’t understand that you can have a relationship with Him. When I think of it now, I believe I had to get to the point of stopping, taking stock and realising things just weren’t getting easier. I was still living a life in the dark, it felt like. I was just living all wrong and partying too much. Last year, my friend Amelia invited me to a dinner at St Martin’s in Bergvliet which was an introduction to Alpha. It’s a course that gives you a chance to explore the Christian faith in a relaxed way. I was very sceptical. I thought, ‘I grew up going to church, what can they teach me? I’m going to go for the dinner, but that’s it.’
kind But at the dinner I signed up for the course! And then I started going – week one, week two, week three – I kept going, feeling I had to complete the course. Then during a weekend where they talked about the Holy Spirit, something happened. I can’t describe it – I just knew I’d never be the same again, that there was something inside of me that was there to stay. It was a feeling of peace I believe came from God, a safe feeling. It was the turning point in my life. After doing Alpha, I started finding it very exciting being around people of God. The people at the church are so kind and also real. Many of them have been so supportive, and they just love Chloe, too. So I said to God, ‘I want you to use me’. I didn’t know where I fitted in. But then I was asked to be a helper on the next Alpha course. There were a lot of challenges in my life when I did this. The financial problems were still there, and the stress of single parenting, so I’m not all sorted. I always say to new people on the course, ‘I haven’t arrived – I’m a work in progress!’
used to deal with things alone, do everything for myself. Now I’m forced to trust God, and I really pray about things before even discussing them with someone. I still have my social life and if I get invited to a party, I’ll go, but the way I conduct myself is quite different. I’m more stable and responsible, and know my limits! I’m a helper now on yet another Alpha course and it’s amazing. It feels as if I’m doing Alpha for the first time again but I’ve grown so much more, so much more. It’s been difficult since my dad died, but I’m taking one day at a time and trusting God every step I take. Chloe’s dad tried to reconcile with me when his marriage broke up, but I was over the relationship. I’m sad he chooses not to be part of Chloe’s life but I’ve forgiven him, let him go and blessed him for another relationship. There’s no ugliness between us and I carry no bitterness. I told him: ‘I really want you to be happy’. I’m now trusting God for a husband! I wouldn’t have survived any of this without God. Looking back I realise that He was looking after me all the time even though I was ignoring Him, but now I thank Him for being there and guiding me. Without Him I’d either be crazy or dead!’
But I know now how to deal with these challenges. I always
Care to know more about Alpha? Call Annalise on 087 752 4077, email her on cpt@alphasa.co.za or go to www.alpha.org/southafrica or Facebook: alphawesterncape
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thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
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foodielife
Zanzibar
coffee chicken How about some Afro-chic in your culinary life? This exotic but easy dish was gleaned by South African artist Natasha Barnes, who learnt to cook the dishes she liked as she travelled globally. ‘Zanzibar produces some of the world’s best cloves and the air is pungent with the sweet smell. The combination of coffee and cloves makes a fantastic marinade for chicken,’ she says. Find more of Natasha’s recipes in The Culinary Adventures of a Travelling Cook (Struik Lifestyle) What you need 1 whole chicken or 8 chicken pieces 2 tbsp tomato sauce or tomato puree 1 tsp chilli powder 60 ml brown sugar (leave this out if you don’t do sugar!) juice of 2 medium limes or 1 lemon 1 tbsp grated fresh ginger 5 cloves garlic, crushed ½ tsp ground cloves ½ tsp ground mixed spice 2 tsp strong instant coffee (or 2 tsp real coffee, dissolved in water to make a paste) 1 tsp dried green peppercorns, crushed 1½ tbsp olive oil
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thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
WHAT YOU DO Preheat the oven to 180°C. Mix all the marinade ingredients together and marinate chicken for 2 hours. Transfer the chicken to a roasting tray, cover loosely with foil and bake for one hour. Discard foil, return chicken to oven and cook for a further 30 to 45 minutes. Baste frequently with leftover marinade Alternatively, braai the chicken in a kettle braai following the same method MAKES ENOUGH FOR FOUR PEOPLE! TIPS • Use good quality granular coffee with a strong aroma • Don’t be tempted to substitute black pepper for the dried green peppercorns: you can usually get them at a good supermarket
Patrick Royal / Stylist: Natasha Barnes
foodielife
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thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
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Tonya Hester
teenlife
how to... stand up to a cyber-bully!
h
Mowbray clinical psychologist Ronel de Villiers on how cyber-bullying works, and how to stop the bullies in their tracks… Internet bullying can lead to tragedy, but there are ways of fighting it effectively
OPE WITSELL of Florida, USA, was a mere 13 years old when she committed suicide by hanging herself in September 2009. Four months earlier, she naively sent her boyfriend a picture of her breasts. A girl saw the picture on his cell phone and forwarded it to others. The image did the rounds of the neighbouring schools, leading to playground taunts of ‘slut’ and ‘whore’. She was disciplined by the school and grounded by her parents. With nowhere to turn in the ever-increasing mess, Hope ended her life.
and other technology to hurt or embarrass others in a deliberate, repeated and hostile manner.
A fairly recent phenomenon, cyber-bullying has elbowed its way into the lives of children, teens and adults alike. In my practice, I’m seeing an increasing number of teens and their parents wrestling with the emotional fall-out from these faceless ambushes.
The bully might create a screen name similar to the one used by the victim to create embarrassing/threatening situations for the victim. Another ploy is to steal victims’ passwords, hack into their accounts and send embarrassing messages or altered photographs to others. While chat hosts observe and monitor the dialogue in some chat rooms and evict offensive individuals, personal (private chat) messages sent between users are viewable only by the sender and recipient, leaving room for ‘cyber insults’.
Connected at the hip to their cell phones, teens are often sitting ducks for a barrage of arms-length harassment. The result? A sense of exposure and shame. Social isolation. Many report feeling helpless and unable to end incidents − switching off the cell phone or computer is only a temporary measure − and are reluctant to disclose their plight to parents and teachers, who they believe can’t help, or may make things worse. Why is cyber-bullying so vicious? Unlike face-to-face bullying, cyber-bullies can remain virtually anonymous, and it’s this that suspends normal social behavioural constraints. Cyber-bullies abuse the internet
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What forms does it take? ‘Flaming’ (online fighting using vulgar language and expressions), threats, sexual remarks, hate speech, ganging up on or ridiculing victims, posting lies, ‘outing’ (disclosure of victims’ personal information). Bullies also pose as their victims in order to publish material in their names that ridicules them, gets them into trouble or defames others.
Inside the mind of a cyber-bully As with the face-to-face variety, cyber-bullies often lack empathy for others with a certain level of moral disengagement. When adolescents believe ‘everyone does it’, that it’s the accepted norm, they’re more likely to follow suit. A child or teenager who doesn’t know how to handle conflict or being de-friended on Facebook might lash out and ‘flame’ in retaliation.
Any good news in all of this? Yes! There are ways and means of fighting off the cyber-bullies with technology. Furthermore, the psychosocial factors behind this behaviour and the way it’s received are not set in stone. What can teens do to prevent things escalating? Teens, beware what you put out there! It’s important to watch your tone when communicating online. Because the other person can’t see your facial expression or body language, your intention might be misconstrued by the recipient, resulting in unnecessary conflict or escalation into bullying. Keep intense emotion for face-to-face conversations where you can resolve things much more easily, and don’t send messages when you’re angry or upset. Once you’ve clicked on ‘send’, these words can’t be taken back. Having the self-control not to write when upset is a challenge many adults haven’t mastered either – so if you learn this now you’ll be setting yourself up well for the future! Consider that deeply personal sharing belongs in selective face-to-face encounters, not in a public spilling-of-guts on your Facebook page. What can parents do? Teenagers are usually streets ahead of their parents technologically, with parents ignorant that their child is being bullied or is perpetrating cyber-torture. But forewarned is forearmed. Parents can consider a ‘guardian’ (eg, Netparent) on a
this page proudly sponsored by the Wilson family, USA: Mike & Barbara Wilson of Buffalo, Helen Wilson of Detroit and Liz Wilson of Oklahoma City
teenlife home computer which triggers an alert for cyber-bullying on receiving certain words, and also install mobile control software (eg mymobilewatchdog) on a child’s cell phone. Receiving alerts of unapproved activity and limiting use of various applications are also considerations. An alert on Google can also notify you and your child whenever anything about them is posted online. Block the sender of aggressive/annoying communications – they’ll no longer know when your child is online, and won’t be able to contact him/her through instant messaging. If the cyber-bully uses another screen name or communicates through others, warn the perpetrators or notify their internet service provider. This creates a record for later review which could lose them their instant messenger account. Consider changing the email address and cell
Are YOU a cyber-bully (even by mistake)? Martin Luther King said: ‘In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.’ Cyber-bullying isn’t cool or funny. Few cyber-bullying attacks can succeed without the complacency and complicit apathy of bystanders. If you do nothing while a friend or classmate’s reputation is torn to pieces, you add to his/her pain and isolation and your silence condones what is happening. While you might be keeping a low profile, fearful of being targeted yourself, you’ll be surprised how many people come out of the woodwork in collective support once they realise the bully’s isolating tactic has been countered – psychologist Ronel de Villiers
Empower yourself! What to do if someone picks on you... • Act! Immediately report the incident to your parent/teacher • Don’t fire back with a tit-for-tat or threatening message • Don’t forward cyber-bullying messages • Save evidence by recording dates, times and descriptions of incidents. Save and print screenshots, emails and text messages to report to web and cell phone providers • Block the bully. Delete the person from your email contacts and block their instant messaging connection. Delete the person from your social networks and prevent further contact. Block their cell number on your phone For more tips, go to http://www.stand-up-and-stop-bullying-insouth-africa.proudlysa
number. Nowadays email accounts enable you automatically to filter out messages from certain senders before they land in your inbox, while caller-ID can help you not to take certain calls. When parents facilitate social accountability in their children and show them not to ignore the pain of others, fewer may cooperate with cyber-bullies by forwarding a hurtful email or adding to hateful comments on social sites. And schools? Principals and teachers alike can help enormously by recognising the reality of cyber-bullying and ‘sexting’ (sending sexually explicit material), understanding how they work and letting pupils know their guardians are one step ahead. Open discussion during life orientation, computing classes and talks by visiting experts offer an ideal opportunity to prepare potential victims for handling
abuse. Culprits can be deterred by being taught appropriate online behaviour and having the consequences of their actions spelt out to them. Teaching the safe use of technology rather than banning it appears to be the solution. Where possible, it’s important to encourage bullies to connect with their better selves by affirming their positive traits and values so that they’re more likely to be receptive to messages highlighting the negative impact of cyber-bullying on victims. Finally, as the saying goes, prevention is better than cure. Where individuals, families and schools endorse compassion, connectedness, the celebration of individuality and diversity, belonging, tolerance, grace, empathy and forgiveness, a caring society can be built.
‘I was cyber-bullied’
SA teens and teachers on the internet’s dark side ‘At first I thought they were my friends. It was my first year in high school and we were in the same cricket team. They started by making jokes about me being vain. I just laughed. Then they made a fake Instagram account in my name and posted hashtags like #ilovemyself and so on. They pretended to be me and joined embarrassing groups I’d never join. They posted pictures of me which they took in class when I wasn’t aware . I didn’t know what to do because if I told anybody they’d call me a snitch, which would have been far worse, so I just tried to ignore it. But it got really bad. I felt powerless and unsure of what to do. Eventually a friend told someone at school, the boys ended up at a disciplinary hearing and they all stopped and apologised to me. I felt much better afterwards.’ Schoolboy, 15 (13 when bullied)
‘A friend posted a photo of the two of us on Facebook and added an upsetting comment about weight that I felt was directed at me. I was at a very sensitive stage, and ended up not speaking to her for six months. I channelled my discomfort into exploring other interests and my worldview broadened. As a result, I’ve grown emotionally since then and am more comfortable with myself – I’m braver and more able to deal with criticism positively. I also have a strong friendship group.’ Schoolgirl, 16 (12 at time
of incident)
‘Parental involvement is important – the parents of one of our families reserve the right to pick up their child’s phone without warning and check its content. If they find anything unpleasant, they confiscate the phone for a period of time.’ Teacher, girls’ primary school ‘Youth and adults need to keep an open mind to each other’s wisdom on social media. The difficulty with it is that it excludes important non-verbal cues – tone of voice, body language and context – that inform us as to how someone else is encountering our words. This can result in a failure to realise the consequences of our communication. It definitely helps a child to have a strong friendship group and an ability to take the long view.’
Psychologist, boys’ primary school
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A SMALL, UNPREPOSSESSING BUILDING, Proudly Macassar Pottery is to be found in one of Cape Town’s most isolated townships, encircled by a highway, a sand mine, marshland, a nature reserve and a bomb factory. It has nonetheless blossomed into a unique pottery and township tourism business since its launch five years ago. Former Beeld bureau chief, Johan de Meyer, is a driving force. Its heartbeat? ‘We aim to upskill youth at risk who haven’t finished school, to help them create a sustainable lifestyle,’ he says. ‘We feed into their lives and give them attention as well as a means of putting bread on the table.’ The pottery sells clay instruments and innovative kitchen items such as ‘coffee drippers’ (see them on retailtherapy, p32). It also runs pottery and music tours and corporate team-building sessions that have received reviews of ‘excellent’ on TripAdvisor, probably due to the local youth volunteering their life stories. Exciting work for De Meyer, 42, who grew up in a traditional Afrikaans family in Pretoria? ‘We’re a business so sometimes the warm fuzzy feelings get swamped by deadlines,’ he says. ‘But there’s a groundswell of small businesses in South Africa taking ownership of their communities and empowering their employees as well as making a profit for themselves. Things are really happening, it’s not all a wilderness of discontent out there.’ Both in its daily business and its tours, the pottery aims to ‘pinpoint beauty in unlikely places,’ says De Meyer. ‘We like people to interrogate their blind spots and discover that often the most beautiful things, the best opportunities, are in spaces we consider unlikely. God took dirt and breathed on it to create man − the ultimate way of finding beauty in an unlikely place. I think the point of life is to copy Him and see how many unlikely places there are into which we can breathe friendship and energy.’ To visit or place an order with Proudly Macassar Pottery, contact Johan on 082 747 7104 or Macassar.pottery@gmail.com or go to Facebook (‘Proudly Macassar Pottery’). You can also find it on TripAdvisor. The organisation has a band for hire that plays its own handmade instruments, with some sax thrown in to keep things jazzy.
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thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
this page proudly sponsored by Andrew and Priska Newham
Tonya Hester
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Breathing beauty into dirt: Johan de Meyer (left) and Denver van Rooyen at work on an order at Proudly Macassar Pottery thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015 25
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lifesupport parenting BABY GROUPS Share the experience of motherhood with good coffee and new friends in a supportive environment at the Moms Connect baby and toddler group. Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. When? Thursdays 10am - 12pm (term time). Babies and toddlers obviously welcome too! Contact Jill Mathew: 072 329 0281 or reception@cck.org.za Alternatively, Join MomSpace in Kirstenhof, a relaxed and supportive place for moms and their 0-3s to have fun and be inspired. Where? Church of the Holy Spirit, Raapkraal Road, Kirstenhof. When? Tuesdays 9.30 - 11am (term time). All welcome. Contact Ros or Cathi: 021 701 3201 or cathi@chscapetown.org Or… consider a weekly tea for new moms (plus babes). Where? Connect Church, 18 Orlando Way, Meadowridge. When? Tuesdays @ 10am. Contact Brenda: brenda.burnstone@gmail.com or 084 588 4581 PARENTING COURSE Join other parents at the Parenting Course to make the most of parenting! Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: 021 797 6332 or claire@cck.org.za
marriage MARRIAGE PREPARATION A weekly course open to all couples, whether church members or not! Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: claire@cck.org.za or 021 797 6332 ALREADY MARRIED Fancy a weekly date with your spouse – to talk privately together, be served a delicious meal and have some input to encourage and challenge you in your relationship? Try The Marriage Course, recommended for all marriages, whether blooming or a little parched. No need to belong to any church. Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: 021 797 6332 or claire@cck.org.za
junior youth groups Junior Youth @ Church of the Holy Spirit, Raapkraal Road, Kirstenhof. Last Friday of every month, 5:30 7.15pm for grades 4 - 7. Call Cathi: 021 701 3201 Kick @ Claremont Methodist Church. Fridays 6 - 8pm. Call 021 674 2596 UTX @ Emmanuel Church, Wynberg. Call Nola: 021 761 6837 26
Looking for something new? Maybe there’s something here for YOU…
Connect Kids @ Connect Church, Meadowridge. 021 712 1218 or jolene@connectchurch.org.za
hungry school children! Contact Claire: claire@zevdevco.co.za
teen youth groups
BEYOND DIVORCE A series of workshops aimed at anyone who’s experienced the devastation of separation or divorce. Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: 021 797 6332 or claire@cck.org.za
Ambies @ Christ Church, Kenilworth. Call Michael: 021 797 6332 Amplify @ Claremont Methodist Church. Fridays 8 - 10pm. Call 021 674 2596 gcubedyouth @ St John’s Church, Wynberg (next to Springfield Convent). Contact Keegan: 072 808 2063, 021 797 8968 or keegan@stjohns.org.za H4K @ Emmanuel Church, Wynberg. Call Nola: 021 761 6837 Union @ Connect Church, Meadowridge. Email Roland: roland@connectchurch.org.za Youth @ Church of the Holy Spirit, Kirstenhof. Fridays 7.30 - 9.30pm, grades 8 - 12. Contact Brendan: brendan@chscapetown.org or 021 701 3201
prayer PRAYER CLINIC Anyone with physical, emotional or spiritual needs is invited to be prayed for by experienced prayer counsellors from local Cape Town churches. Patients are usually referred by doctors, but you can self-refer by calling reception on 021 683 5867. No charge. Thursdays 4 - 5.30pm at Medicross, 67 Rosmead Avenue, Kenilworth (not public holidays) 24 HOUR PRAYER LINE Call Radio CCFm’s Prayer Friend Line at any hour of the day or night. It’s manned by people used to dealing with a wide variety of situations. Call 021 788 3340, register your prayer request online at www.ccfm.org.za or email prayer@ccfm.org.za HEALING PRAYER for physical or emotional challenges. First and third Tuesdays 5 - 6.30pm at Christ Church, Kenilworth. Second and fourth Tuesdays at Church of the Holy Spirit, Kirstenhof. Call Alison (Christ Church): 021 797 6332 or Paul Rademeyer (Church of the Holy Spirit): 082 417 0243
helping others HABITAT FOR HUMANITY Help build a house for those without! To join a local build in October 2015 with St John’s Parish, email jennydry@telkomsa.net or click on www.habitat.org.za to find out more HUNGRY SCHOOLCHILDREN For R150 and 90 minutes of your time per week, you can feed 60
thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
divorce
personal WANT MORE CLARITY on where your responsibilities lie – and where they don’t? Looking to live more lightly, without comparing yourself to others? The Boundaries Course has been run for 10 years, with great results. Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: 021 797 6332 or claire@cck.org.za GRIEFSHARE A recovery support group which offers help and healing for the pain experienced when someone you love dies. Run by St John’s Parish, Wynberg. Contact Klaus and Barbara: 021 671 4732, klaush@global.co.za or 082 453 9392. Also run by Connect Church, Meadowridge. Call Sue: 021 712 1218 or sue@connectchurch.org.za Living with cancer? Contact Cancer Buddies, a support project that brings together cancer patients with a similar profile, disease and treatment protocol. Call 0800 033 337 (toll-free) or go to www.cancerbuddies.org.za to request support online DEALING WITH DEPRESSION is for people experiencing depression, plus those supporting them. Where? Christ Church, Richmond Road, Kenilworth. Contact Claire: 021 797 6332 or claire@cck.org.za WORRIED BY/ADDICTED TO PORN? Contact Clive at STOP (Standing Together to Oppose Pornography): 021 715 3216, 083 463 4762, stop@stop.org.za or go to www.stop.org.za
sewing WONDERING ABOUT SEWING? Discover a talent and earn a living! Start by making a pin cushion and finish with a tracksuit that’s good enough to sell. Where? St Thomas’ Church hall, Rondebosch. When? Wednesdays 2-4pm. Each class costs just R1. Call Eileen: 021 685 1980
men & women JOIN ‘A Journey to Significance’ if you’re a man over 40 and are soulsearching! Where? Christ Church, Kenilworth. Contact Richard: richardn@netactive.co.za or
082 825 1598 or Barrie: bjack.newjourneys@gmail.com or 082 552 1333 EVERY WOMAN has a story worth sharing! Why not drop in for coffee at Ladies Linking to hear some? Where? Rotating venues in Constantia. When? Last Friday of every month 10am - 12 noon. There is no charge. Contact Angie: angie@chscapetown.org COMMUNITY NIGHT @ Claremont Methodist Church, 22 Cavendish Road, Claremont. Supper and friendship building every Wednesday. Call 021 674 2596 or email dave@claremontmethodist.org
spirituality ALPHA is a fun, non-threatening course that examines the claims of Christianity, aimed at anyone who doesn’t attend church or who seeks to ‘brush up’ their spirituality. Go to www.alpha.org/ southafrica for courses around the country. Alternatively, contact the following churches for details of their next course: Christ Church, Kenilworth (021 797 6332), Church of the Holy Spirit, Kirstenhof (021 701 3201), Emmanuel Church, Wynberg (021 797 0179), St John’s Church, Wynberg (021 797 8968), St Philip’s Church, Kenwyn (021 762 8772) or Connect Church, Meadowridge (021 712 1218) SEEKING A CHURCH THAT SUITS YOU? Give St John’s Parish a go. It’s a lively group of six Anglican churches in the southern suburbs. To find out more, call Yvonne: 021 797 6332 or Judy: 021 701 3201 MESSY CHURCH @CHS, a way of doing church for the whole family, last Sunday of every month. 4pm at Church of the Holy Spirit, Kirstenhof. Contact Cathi on 021 701 3201 THURSDAY REFRESH Finding it difficult to get to church on Sunday? Need a midweek refresher? Join Refresh for an informal 45-minute communion service. Thursdays (term time) at 9.15am at Christ Church, Kenilworth. Call Yvonne on 082 689 7380 for more details ARE YOU WONDERING ABOUT JESUS THE JEWISH MESSIAH? For 200 years, the Church’s Ministry among the Jewish People (CMJ) has invested in the spiritual rebirth of the Jewish People as well as presenting Jesus the Jew to Christians. To find out more, go to www.cmj-sa.org or contact John Atkinson: john@cmj-sa.org, Edith Sher: edith@cmj-sa.org or Sue: admin@cmj-sa.org
capelife
of cape town SNIPPETS
what goes on below the radar?
testing times
new
BLOOD LILIES burst forth at Silvermine, softening the blackening blow of the mountain fires that ravaged Cape Town in March
A SIMPLE, PAINLESS swab of your inner cheek may be the clue to a healthy weight for life. Following the dietary cat among the pigeons unleashed by Prof Tim Noakes’ Banting revolution, Capetonians whose scales still aren’t budging have got the bit between the teeth. A growing number are opting for a DNA test that claims to reveal very specifically the diet and exercise to which you’re best suited. The result of a recent explosion in genetic findings, the globally available test is done in Jozi and isn’t cheap: about R1600 for the diet test and R2700 for the sport test (with no medical aid currently prepared to ease the pain). But Claremont dietician Jean Mills says it could be worth it: ‘It’s information for life, and has yielded results with clients of mine who were doing everything by the book but still not shifting kilos.’ There are also health and oestrogen DNA tests that claim to help you prevent disease by clarifying your specific nutritional needs
good news BORN WITHOUT ears, Camryn Josephs-Dramat, 9, of Kuils River has started a process to become South Africa’s first recipient of a wireless hearing aid that will be invisibly embedded beneath her skin. The system will process sound and send it to her cochlear and auditory nerves
it’s behind you
WINTER WAVES at Kalk Bay have been known to swell higher than nine metres. There to capture this one was Glencairn marine biologist Rob Tarr (if you’re keen to see more of his pics, ‘like’ him on Facebook: ‘Rob Tarr Photography’)
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marketplace your guide to local services (take the las out of looking)
HEALTH / LIVING
R:\Revprint Data Backup\Work_11 July 2012\Dr Eksteen\Eksteen Optom_bc_Chris.cdr 20 August 2012 04:06:46 PM Color profile: Disabled Composite Default screen
Eksteen Optometrists
Chris A Eksteen
Dip.Optom. (S.A) F.O.A (S.A) M.B.C.O.(U.K)
Mobile: +27 829612250 Tel: +27 21 686 8641 Fax: +27 21 689 7173 Email: ceksteen@iafrica.com VERGELEGEN' 137 Milner Road • Rondebosch • 7700 Cape Town • South Africa
Dr Joy McInroy MB.Ch.B.
DAY
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Main Interest in Women’s Health
women@home A FEE SHALL BE CHARGED FOR APPOINTMENTS NOT CANCELLED 24HOURS IN ADVANCE
8 Leyden Road, Bergvliet, 7945
Tel/Fax: (021) 712 4799 | Email: womenathome@yebo.co.za • EKSTEEN OPTOMETRISTS • ORTHO-K COMPANY • CONTACT LENS INSTITUTE • JONGA TRUST
Constantiaberg Funeral Home Alan Lindhorst
with Gina, Greg & Mark Serving with sensitivity & dignity 85 Kenilworth Road, (cnr. Rosmead Ave), Kenilworth Tel: 021 671 2400 (24hr) Cell: 083 653 6536 Email: funerals@constantiaberg.net Member: National Funeral Directors Association of SA
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Want to advertise your business card in our next issue? Mail us on sales.thislifemag@gmail.com or call Rebecca on 082 540 5166 or Tonya on 074 672 7369 28
thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
marketplace your guide to local services (take the las out of looking)
HOUSE / HOME
RATTLE BROTHERS
MARKETING CONSULTANT
CONSTRUCTION
13 St. Leger Road Claremont, 7708
Nick Rattle
C: 072 296 7653 PH/FAX: 021 671 8387 nickrattle@mweb.co.za • www.rattlebrothers.co.za
We take the stress out of your alterations and renovations
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All projects owner supervised SERVICES INCLUDE: renovations alterations additions electrical plumbing painting roofing flooring
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Currently working in your area References available
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2 Herschel Court, Wellington Ave, Wynberg, Cape Town Cell: 082 498 0027 Tel: 021 762 7644 Email: ischoltz@absamail.co.za
¨
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IN THE RED? Take control of your household spending Manage your budget with the support of an interna8onally accredited coach
ROBERT BRAIN PERSONAL COACHING 082 990 9504 : rob@robertbrain.co.za : www.robertbrain.co.za
With compliments of Pick n Pay Family Store, Rondebosch
Inspired by you Time strapped? Let our friendly staff deliver your shopping to your doorstep. Having a party? We also deliver platters, ice, liquor and hired glasses! 1 Main Road, Rondebosch Village Centre T: 021 685 4001/2, ext 5 | F: 021 686 5332 | SMS: 076 429 5008 E: pnprondeboschhomeshopping@telkomsa.net
Want to advertise your business card in our next issue? Mail us on sales.thislifemag@gmail.com or call Rebecca on 082 540 5166 or Tonya on 074 672 7369 thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
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marketplace your guide to local services (take the las out of looking)
STYLE / LEISURE
FINANCE / COMPUTING
..
Seller
Jorg Demnitz
Supplier of Fine Silver Ingots / Bars / Coins
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082 641 6341 jorg@kingsley.co.za
Want to advertise your business card in our next issue? Mail us on sales.thislifemag@gmail.com or call Rebecca on 082 540 5166 or Tonya on 074 672 7369 30
thislife.org.za | issue 12 | winter 2015
marketplace your guide to local services (take the las out of looking)
CHILDREN / FAMILY / PETS
Dr’s De Manielle & Du Toit Inc. t/a
DentalWize This one stop family orientated dental practice offers the following • Implantology • Orthodontics • In chair bleaching • Aesthetic dentistry
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Protea Place, c/o Protea & Dreyer St, Claremont, close to Cavendish Square Monday - Friday: 8h30 - 17h30 • MEDICAL AID RATES APPLY VISA & Mastercard Credit & Debit cards accepted • FREE undercover parking
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sales.thislifemag@gmail.com or call Rebecca on 082 540 5166 or Tonya on 074 672 7369
www.thislife.org.za Maybe we’re biased, but we assume that if our advertisers choose our mag, they must be good. However, if you don’t receive total satisfaction, please let the advertiser know and seek any recourse from them. Even though there is little we can do about your particular grievance, please do let us know of your complaint too – for our future reference
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retailtherapy
made in 1
8
LOOKING FOR FAB GIFTS?
Try these beauties, all proudly made in South Africa
7
10 3
2 9 7
4
6
1. Shweshwe African ‘prayer flags’, R95 for a 1.6m string Get them from www.pocketmoneymade.co.za or Montebello Design Centre, 31 Newlands Avenue, Newlands 2. Botanical skin balm, R20, made by hairdresser Philip Get it from Headboys Hair Salon, 46 Main Road, Claremont, 021 683 4589 3. Multi-Man, R245, bendable to hold keys, business cards, hand towels or soap Get it from Perfect Gifts, Bishopscourt, 083 506 3285 or www.perfectgifts.co.za 4. Occasional table, R960, made of sustainable Scandinavian birch plywood Get it from www.hemma.co.za or 021 905 0136, 082 887 1548 5. ‘Carfitti’ car sticker, R45 (plus postage R35) Get it from www.aplacetoshop.co.za 6. ‘LOVE’ pillowcases by Sugar Tong Tong, R290 per set of two Get them from www.sugartongtong.com or Kalk Bay Co-Op, 100 Main Road, Kalk Bay, 071 978 3704 7. Beaded giraffes by Wallace and Shelton, from R180 to R1,500 Get them from the corner of Park and Liesbeek Roads, next to Rondebosch Common. Wallace: 076 350 0836, or Shelton: 084 633 9033 8. Cape Town memory game, R200 Get it from Perfect Gifts, Bishopscourt, 083 506 3285 or www.perfectgifts.co.za 9. SA greetings cards, from R20 Get them from www.hellooow.co.za or 082 465 1845 10. Handmade one-cup coffee ‘dripper’, R150 Get it from www.think-udu.co.za or Proudly Macassar Pottery, 082 747 7104 (go to p24 to read about this pottery) 32
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Printed by CTP Printers, Cape Town