The Yeti April 2012 by The Yeti

The

Yeti

09 2012 A P R I L

Eff You Bills: State Reps have never been so sassy!

100% FSU Men: when measuring up matters

0 t

Hospitality in tune: Tally house shows

www.TheYetiOnline.com Issue 9, April 2012

The Yeti The Yeti

The

Yeti Monster Coverage.

Yeti Editorial Staff Morgan Kayser MANAGING EDITOR Catalina Chiang FINANCE MANAGER Stefan Massol ASSISTANT FINANCE EDITOR Armagan Gurbuz MARKETING MANAGER Angela McCune SECRETARY Rea Kyani NEWS EDITORS Amber Pepe Sammi Fuchs VIEWS EDITORS Mary Fernandez Perry Petruccelli ARTS EDITORS Maxwell Dickey Bradley Williams SPORTS EDITOR Joel Bergholtz ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Nick Cicale LITERARY EDITOR Sarah Bishop PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Devon Kodzis DESIGN EDITOR Emily Skarda COVER ART Tiffany Daswani FACULTY ADVISOR Paul Rutkovsky EDITOR IN CHIEF

The Yeti operates only with the help of a dedicated staff of volunteer writers. We thank them for their hard work and support. If you’d like to get involved with The Yeti, e-mail fsuyeti@gmail.com or visit our website: www.theyetionline.com.

Want to Advertise with The Yeti? We love supporting local businesses and Tallahassee events. Contact us at fsuyeti@gmail.com for

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Letter from the Editor I first learned about The Yeti on a flyer in my residence hall at the beginning of my freshman year. I went to one meeting, vowing I wouldn’t get too involved. I wanted the “freshman experience.” I wanted to be free. But in ten minutes I was hooked and dying to do more. Heidi Kerr was the Editor in Chief then, and after the meeting, I ran up to her in all my freshman-y awkward eagerness and started spouting facts about myself. “I know InDesign!” “I edited my high school newspaper!” “I’ll do anything you want me to, please!” Probably busy with paperwork and e-mails, she looked into my eyes and said in a monotone voice, “I don’t need a resume,” and turned back to her work. I was terrified. Still, I must have done something right, because I was hired as news editor in a few days and soon started working several hours a week for the publication. Back then The Yeti had a tiny staff; we lost an editor about once a month, we were out of print, we weren’t producing high quality writing, and in general The Yeti just wasn’t reaching its full potential. Heidi, who turned out to be lovely, worked with me to bring The Yeti back into print and I took over when she left. Each semester, our print run grew in size and quality and our staff grew as well. Now we print twice a semester in partial color and publish online fairly frequently. We have improved our writing and design exponentially and now have an editorial staff of over 15 extraordinarily talented individuals. I’m incredibly proud of what I’ve done with The Yeti, but also humbled because of what it’s done for me. In this position, I’ve become a better writer, editor, and leader, but most importantly, I think I’ve become a better person. I couldn’t have accomplished any of it without the help and skills of my amazing team, who have inspired me and become my closest friends. I’d like to thank our staff so much for the lessons, encouragement, and challenges they’ve given me over the past three years. I wish you all the best, but you don’t need my wishing. You deserve the best and you will earn it. I’d also like to encourage our readers to give this organization all the support they can. Donate to it. Write for it. Paint for it, design for it, bake for its bake sales. Independent organizations like The Yeti are absolutely essential to the formation of young minds, young leaders, and, eventually, revolutions. For the last time, Morgan Kayser Editor in Chief

Mission

The Yeti is a student-run, conversation-driven media outlet in Tallahassee that serves our readership by providing an alternative to corporately funded, commercial media. We publish in print twice a semester and online twice a week. We focus on providing new perspectives on current events and investigating under-represented and under-reported local issues. Our aim is to convey the voice of the community in hopes of sparking a dialogue between students and community members, and to create an educated exchange of information that will motivate our readership to be aware and active members of society.

Campus Progress works to help young people — advocates, activists, journalists, artists — make their voices heard on issues that matter. Learn more at CampusProgress.org. The opinions expressed in the Views section are those of the writers, and do not necessarily represent the views of The Yeti itself.

Table of Contents

News

04 Poop-bot

Views

Franken-Flower

EFF You Bills

It’s alive ... again.

Politicians raising the congressional middle finger

Euthanasia

Black Hippy

An article to die for

When “Hippys” take over hip hop

Arts & Life ...?

Our Editor in Chief goes undercover(s) to investigate the MeasureUp campaign.

This is the shittiest story you’ll ever read.

Measure Up

Sports

Trapeze artist Johnny Horne shows us the ropes

Ryan Braun

Homophobia in Sports

Did one of baseball’s biggest names fall victim to the use of steroids?

Editor Bradley Williams takes on another social conflict through the lens of the sports world.

20 London 2012

A look ahead to the Summer Games

House Shows How Tallahassee residents are saving local band’s asses

Hunger Games Does it live up to the hype?

Athlete Profile: Johnny Horne

Community Cult following trumps low ratings

Freegans

Literature

28 29

drenched dog dressed red

Cellulite

Red

by Alicia Deer

[salt air, dense] by Lisa Play

by Abbey Cory

by Tazara Weilhammer

Talking trash about wasting food

Issue 9, April 2012

POOP

News

The Yeti

is the

Future

of a S e l f - S u s t a i ni n g Wo r l d

Nick Cicale Assistant Sports Editor

As more people take steps toward an increasingly sustainable lifestyle, the world of science is paving the (sometimes unusual) way by producing technologies that can do more with less. One such technology, developed by the Bristol Robotics Laboratory, is the EcoBot III, the first true self-sustaining robot. It is the third installment of the EcoBot series that was started in 2002 in hopes of creating a robot that can eat, convert food into energy, and then excrete its waste. In its current state, the EcoBot III isn’t much more than a huge robotic digestive system. The bulky cylindrical device hangs on a track in a roughly 5 -foot by 5-foot glass environment, where it slides to one side of the box to eat and drink and then to another area where it passes its waste. As of now, EcoBot III can only eat a liquid blend of dirt, dead leaves and animal waste through a long tube that is attached to its stomach. It also drinks water to help with digestion, which is a sped-up version of the biodegradation process. The food is converted into energy that helps EcoBot run,

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and then the robot expels the materials it cannot use, just as an animal would. There are various potentially beneficial applications of the EcoBot technology. One would

Perhaps someday Siri will be eating a meal and using the bathroom at the restaurant it suggests for its user.

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“

robots could also run in areas with very limited resources, like caves and remote jungles, and even in outer space if they had human wastes available to them. “I can see remote sensoring being a real possibility,” said Cindy Joseph, an AP Environmental Sciences teacher and head of the Ecology Club at Cypress Bay High School. “Robots could report on environmental parameters, or even send back intelligence for the armed forces by collecting data in very remote areas [without] electricity.” The EcoBot technology also sets a goal for the conversion of human urine and excrement into usable electricity not only for the robots that eat it, but for other technologies as well. Because we can already convert waste into power for the robots, a larger scale version of the system could in theory create enough energy to run multiple machines and eventually households. “I believe the technology behind EcoBot III will be a major contribution to society,” said Felipe Calderon, a junior Graphic Design and Marketing major at FSU. “We’re so

be to install a simplified and perfected digestive system into other robots or technologies that are capable of performing tasks other than eating. This would create self-sustainable technologies that could essentially run on biodegradable waste found in the environment, like dirt, leaves and plant materials, animal wastes, and some garbage; its only true emission would be carbon dioxide (CO2), which is released through biodegradation in nature. Technologies running in this fashion could help reduce the amounts of electricity and fossil fuels we consume. These

dependent [on] our iPhones and other scientific advances…. Similar technologies [to robotics] are already in everything we use. Now it’s going to be a lot smarter.” Cell phones and computers are already

becoming increasingly human-like every year. The program Siri for the iPhone listens to its user and performs tasks like answering questions accurately, giving out directions, remembering important tasks, and making dinner reservations. Perhaps someday Siri will be eating a meal and using the bathroom at the restaurant it suggests for its user. It is a strange thought, but it isn’t too farfetched considering everything that’s been going on in the world of science. “It could be potentially shocking to see a mechanical entity eating biological food, because it violates normal laws of nature,” said Ashley Hillard, a senior Psychology major at FSU. “However, this technology could be a big step for artificial intelligence. The humanization of robots could be a revolutionary thing that can benefit humans if used in the right manner.” If the EcoBot were to be mass-produced, the resources that would be used to build and fuel the robots would be in higher demand, and some are worried about the consequences that could result from this. “Such technology might decrease the use of fossil fuels, but these robots have to feed on something,” said Mary Bennett, a senior Information Communication and Technology

student at FSU. “If it ever gets to the point that the world mostly relies on these robots, there’s a chance our trees and other resources could be at risk.” Others are concerned about how extensive use of the technology could exponentially increase the rate of CO2 being released into the atmosphere. “Conversion of garbage to electricity could be very useful in conserving fossil fuel resources, but it still doesn’t solve our greenhouse gas problem... data comparing the net energy efficiency and CO2 emissions of these machines to similar plug in machines [would be helpful],” said Joseph. Testing on the EcoBot has been successful so far, but more research still needs to be done before it is tested in an environment with more variables. “Practical day-to-day uses of the technology won’t be implemented for a long time, at least until it is refined,” said Bennett. If one thing is certain, there are still a lot of features that need to be improved, and further testing should give scientists a better idea of how to make the technology more efficient and how it may affect the environment.

“It could be potentially shocking to see a mechanical entity eating biological food, because it violates normal laws of nature.”

Issue 9, April 2012

The Yeti

30,000-Year-Old Flower Restored to Life

Autumn Rosencrantz Staff Writer

On February 24, a team of Russian scientists announced that they had used 30,000year-old fruit tissue from a silene stenophylla plant, commonly known as the narrow-leafed campion, to resurrect the entire plant in an experiment that may very well pave the way for other such revitalizations. Scientists found the fruit in a 30,000year-old rodent burrow located in Siberia’s frozen tundra. The permafrost—ground that remains permanently frozen all year long— acted as an effective preservative, keeping the tissue in a hibernation-like state. They found seeds in the burrow with the fruit, however the rodent who created the burrow had gnawed on the seeds before burying them, preventing them from growing. Because they could not grow,

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the scientists used the placental tissues of the seeds to create a new undamaged seed in a Petri dish, which they then planted successfully. The plant’s regeneration has stimulated a lot of interest within the scientific community. “I’m pretty excited about this,” said Anne Raymond, a paleobotanist specializing in Paleozoic botany at Texas A&M University. “I think that having actual ancient plants to study would give us more information about ancient ecosystems. That would be really interesting and useful.” Even more amazing than having the ability to regenerate a 30,000-year-old plant is the fact that the plant is viable. Scientists have reported that the plant is fertile and is able to produce flowers and seeds.

“All over the world, we have plants that are still surviving vegetatively [(a type of asexual reproduction, where plants reproduce through cuttings)], but the seeds [of those plants] no longer germinate. This regeneration method could solve those problems,” said Raymond. The ancient plant only differs from its modern counterpart with regard to the shape of the petals and the sex of the flowers. This difference is encouraging scientists to regenerate other plants in the hopes of comparing the regenerated plants to their modern counterparts. Having several examples of a plant from different time periods will give scientists the opportunity to study how climate changes caused the plant to evolve. “I think it would be a wonderful way to

News

study short term evolution,” said Raymond. Others are more cautionary in their reaction to the possibility of studying the plant’s evolution. “Any possible differences seen between the 30,000-year-old plant and its modern counterpart could be caused by [the plant] being frozen,” said William Parker, a professor of Paleontology, Carbonates, and Geostatistics at Florida State University. In order to ensure that the differences really were caused by evolution, the DNA between the two versions would have to be studied very closely. More plants from the same time period would need to be regenerated so that differences between the plants could be compared, which would determine if the differences really were caused by evolution and not by the method of preservation. Because the narrow-leafed campion has been regenerated, there is now the possibility that other plants could be brought back as well. “I definitely think that it’s interesting, however, I’d like to see them work with something older or even presently extinct,” said Parker. “When they work with something without a modern counterpart, then it will really get exciting.” Meanwhile, people outside of the scientific community are interested in the regeneration of the ancient plant and the possibility of similar regenerations in the future. “I think that [the regeneration] presents a lot of opportunities for our society, and it could also present a lot of controversy,” said Brittany Gregson, a Communications major at Florida State University. “People might start worrying about how far we could take that in the future.” One such controversy is that regenerating more things may not be viable unless the

regeneration can produce economic revenue in the real world. “In modern science, research is primarily driven by economics,” said Parker. “If something is going to be developed, there needs to be economic value, unless there is an entertainment value associated with it, like an amusement park or freak show.” Others may be concerned with the future implications of being able to reanimate long-dead species, imagining a scenario like that seen in the classic movie Jurassic Park, but anything like that is a long way off. There would need to be some method of profiting financially from the regeneration, which is why scientists have for years been disregarding the idea of mixing the DNA of a mammoth with an elephant. There would be no reason to do this other than to create a circus freak show exhibit. Additionally, scientists have a harder time acquiring viable animal DNA than they do plant matter. “Large scale reproduction would require a lot of money, and I just don’t see there being a need for that,” said Parker. “Any worries are, at this point, unfounded.” There is a large possibility that the success of this experiment will change the study of botany. The magnitude of the regeneration’s impact on the field will vary from botanist to botanist, depending on the time period and climate from which the plants they study . “I think this kind of work will definitely

change the way we look at and study the time period from the peak of the last ice age to now,” said Raymond. “So, it will change the study of botany for those time periods, but no older, because the plant matter beyond 400,000 years ago would be difficult, if not impossible, to find, let alone regenerate…If they manage to do it again and with older or extinct plants, it will be very high impact.” As the oldest known plant to ever be successfully revived, the previous record-holder being date palm seeds stored for 2,000 years, the regeneration of the narrow-leafed campion presents a lot of possibilities regarding how far scientists could push the technology. Continued study of the methods of regeneration will be necessary to see what other kinds of living matter scientists could feasibly regenerate in the future.

Issue 9, April 2012

k F! U O Y Bills News

The Yeti

Alex Zeidel Staff Writer The Republican-controlled Virginia House of Delegates decided to celebrate Valentine’s Day a little differently this year by passing a bill that would require women seeking an abortion to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound. They also approved a bill proclaiming that life begins at conception, giving “personhood” rights to all fetuses and declaring that “unborn children at every stage of development enjoy all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of the commonwealth.” Seven other states already have preexisting laws requiring that women undergo ultrasounds at least 24 hours before receiving an abortion, though no state has ever mandated a transvaginal ultrasound before. The procedure would require the insertion of a device into the woman’s vagina, an act Virginia Del. Charniele Herring believes is “akin to rape.” The bill would not make an exception for women whose pregnancies were the result of rape or forced incest. On February 22nd, Governor Bob McDonnell (R-VA), who had previously supported the bill, called on the House to amend the law to say that women would only have to undergo less invasive transabdominal ultrasounds. The watered down version of the bill passed in the Virginia Senate later that day, 65-32. However, many Democrats in the Virginia Senate are not satisfied with a bill that requires women to undergo any form of ultrasound in order to receive an abortion. In light of the ultrasound bill’s passing, State Senator Janet Howell (D-VA) put forth a bill requiring all men seeking a prescription for erectile dysfunction pills to undergo digital rectal exams as well as cardiac stress tests. The bill was shot down in

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the GOP majority State Senate, but Howell’s intent was not for the legislation to actually be passed, but rather to hold a mirror to what many believe to be an absurd law by forcing men to experience the same embarrassment women go through because of “informed consent” laws. “It’s only fair,” said Howell on the floor of the Virginia Senate, “that if we’re going to subject women to unnecessary procedures, and we’re going to subject doctors to having to do things that they don’t think is medically advisory. We should just have a little gender equity here.” In light of recent right wing attacks on reproductive rights across the country, Howell’s bill has inspired other politicians to fight back in similar ways. Oklahoma just passed its own Personhood Act, declaring that unborn children, from the moment of conception, are to be given the same rights as they would receive after they are born. In response, Democratic State Senator Constance Johnson of Oklahoma City proposed an amendment to the bill: “Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and

construed as an action against an unborn child.” Similarly, State Representative Yasmin Neal (D-GA) introduced a bill that would limit a man’s access to a vasectomy unless the procedure was being done to save the man’s life. Neal submitted this bill after the Georgia Senate passed laws criminalizing abortions after 20-weeks’ gestation and removing coverage for abortions from state employee’s healthcare plans. In response to a law recently passed in the Ohio House of Representatives which bans abortions once a fetal heartbeat is detected, State Senator Nina Turner (D-OH) put forth a reactionary bill restricting men’s access to Viagra. The bill would require that a man visit a sex therapist, as well as obtain a signed affidavit from one sex partner confirming erectile

dysfunction, before receiving a prescription. “The men in our lives, including members of the General Assembly, generously devote time to fundamental female reproductive issues,” Turner told The Plain Dealer. “The least we can do is return the favor.” “The men in our lives, including members of the General Assembly, generously devote time to fundamental female reproductive issues,” Turner told The Plain Dealer. “The least we can do is return the favor.” “Taking the right’s argument to the extreme by suggesting amendments for things like rectal exams is funny, but it makes the message clear,” said Heather Peeples, a coordinator for The F Word, a feminist group at Florida State University. “If you think it’s wrong to force these invasive procedures on men, then there is no excuse for violating the privacy of women by requiring [an ultrasound].” Informed consent laws are put forth by politicians advocating against abortion in order to give women a chance to reconsider their options before going through with abortions. “Women have told me over and over again that when they got their abortions, they didn’t know what their baby looked like, how far along it was developed, or what an

abortion would do to that baby,” said head of the Genocide Awareness Project, Fletcher Armstrong. Armstrong’s organization travels to college campuses around the country, putting up billboards with graphic images conflatin aborted fetuses with genocide victims. The general belief of legislators proposing bills restricting abortions is that a woman, after seeing the sonogram, will have a change of heart and decide to keep her baby. Besides being labeled as unnecessary and

costly, informed consent procedures have been called demeaning by critics. Many believe that actually forcing a woman to view the fetus in her uterus suggests that women are incapable of grasping the concept of human life without seeing a sonogram. “I don’t think any adult woman is incapable of understanding what happens during an abortion,” said FSU Junior Angelina Collazo. “How dumb do these people think we are?” The repeal of reproductive rights isn’t the only cause that some state legislators are fighting by proposing sarcastic bills. Republicans in the New Hampshire House of Representatives recently tried and failed to repeal the law allowing gay marriage, but not before Representative Seth Cohn (R-Canterbury) submitted a bill calling for “left-handed marriage” to be outlawed. Cohn’s bill even inspired a gathering of protesters outside of the New Hampshire State House, carrying picket signs with slogans like “two lefts don’t make a right.” Anti-immigration bills also drew the ire of Representative Steve Holland (D-MS), who proposed a bill that would officially change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. Even though these bills are not proposed with the intent of them becoming laws, they function to make a statement. “This is an election year and state legislators are pandering to their audiences,” said Carol S. Weissert, Professor of Political Science at Florida State University. “I don’t expect to see many states adopting these measures, but they serve as good political theater.” Whether the statements made by these bills will actually impact voters’ decisions will be determined in the upcoming election season.

Issue 9, April 2012

The Yeti

DO FSU MEN

Really Measure Up?

Morgan Kayser Editor in Chief I’ve seen the posters everywhere. They feature brightly colored graphs with bold font overlay proclaiming that 97 percent of men would interfere if a woman was being mistreated, and 88 percent of men obtain consent before sexual intimacy. They’re posted on buses, in residence halls, and on the tables in Suwannee Dining Hall. Although I’m glad that the majority of FSU men are making responsible, moral, and legal decisions, I can’t help but think about the other side of these numbers. Barring margin of error and assuming everyone answered the question (the graphs showing only bars for 88 percent and 12 percent lead us to believe everyone did), students looking at these posters assume 12 percent of men don’t wait to receive consent before intimacy. That’s terrifying, no matter how much I try to think about the moral 88 percent. The data on these posters is put together by FSU Measure Up in conjunction with the Florida Center for Prevention Research and sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Florida Department of Health. The campaign’s goal “is to correct misconceptions about male students in regards to promiscuity and sexual violence,” but this is an extremely broad and somewhat convoluted objective. Rick Howell, the Deputy Director for the Florida Center for Prevention Research at FSU, expanded on this. “The MeasureUp media campaign is

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an application of the Social Norms Approach/ Model, commonly referred to as social norms marketing,” he said in an e-mail interview. “Essentially the social norms approach uses a variety of methods and media to correct negative misperceptions held by a specific population, in our case male students attending FSU. These messages then work to identify, model, and promote the healthy, protective behaviors that are the actual norm in that population. Past studies clearly support the proposition that accurate normative data which counters the misperception of rape-supportive environments can be a critical part of campus efforts to prevent sexual violence against women.” The surveys consisted of two parts: self reporting and peer reporting. The majority of the men surveyed believed in obtaining consent before intercourse, but thought their peers didn’t obtain consent. The same trend was observed in multiple questions: FSU men themselves were mostly moral, but believed other FSU men were not. Howell hopes correcting this misperception could cut down on sexual violence. The statistics were never meant to imply that some FSU Men don’t get consent, particularly in the case of the poster seeming to say that 88 percent of men obtain consent and 12 percent don’t. The statistics are more complicated than that, though they weren’t portrayed that way. “The 88-percent-got-consent-statistic, admittedly, should have been positioned differently and was never meant to imply that 12

percent of the respondents didn’t get consent before having sex,” Howell said. “From the statistical side, 88 percent of students surveyed reported that they ‘frequently’ got consent before having sex; however, they thought that only 34 percent of their peers ‘frequently’ did so; the other response options being never, rarely and occasionally. In retrospect the more appropriate message, and the one we’re currently using, is that most FSU men understand the importance of getting consent before sexual intimacy.” Another confusing implication can be seen in the posters that point out exactly how much sex FSU men are having and how many people they’re having it with. According to the campaign, 65 percent of FSU men had two or fewer sexual partners in the last year, and 53 percent of FSU men have sex one or fewer times a month. This seems unrelated to the campaign’s goal of decreasing sexual violence. If these men and their partners are having protected consensual sex, there is no issue. Howell, however, thinks this data has an important role. “If [your] perception is that the majority of your peers are having frequent sex with multiple partners, then you may be more inclined to ‘keep up’ which might lead to negative consequences, when in fact you may be representative of the majority that had sex 0 to 2 times per month,” Howell said. He goes on to say that “sex should always be a choice and not a requirement.” To establish the best long-term solution to sexual assault, motivation for not raping

Views shouldn’t come from the fact that a potential rapist isn’t the only one not having sex—that motivation should come from the fact that the act of rape is wrong. Without proper motivation for not committing a crime, a potential rapist could decide to rape later on if the statistics change. Also, I worry that someone who is intent on violent crime will not be swayed by statistics. Many criminals aren’t committing crime to “keep up” with peers, they’re doing it because of a myriad of sexual, psychological, and aggression issues. I also have to wonder what women are supposed to do with these statistics once we’ve read them. Am I supposed to commend 88 percent of FSU men for obtaining consent before sex? Sex without consent is rape. The only acceptable percentage of men not raping is 100 percent, and that shouldn’t be something we have to put on a poster. It should just happen. However frustrated I may be with the state of the world, I do understand expecting rape to “just not happen” is a little idealistic, as simplistic as that idea should be. Still, I think there are better ways to educate men about sexual violence than putting statistics on a poster and trusting students to draw the right messages out of that. Other students have similar thoughts. “One of the biggest problems I have with the Measure Up program is that it provides no solution,” said Stephen Rang, an FSU senior. “They have wonderful intentions, sure, but they hit you with this statistic or the datum and they provide you with no solution. I’m not going to go so far as to call it fear mongering, but it’s along the same lines. I just feel like the money they use to make their posters and table toppers could be redirected toward better preventative methods.” Perhaps all students, regardless of gender, could take an online course and quiz on sexual violence similar to the one required about alcohol awareness and prevention, as part of orientation. This would perpetuate the need for obtaining consent before intimacy and learning that only “yes” means “yes.” Men Advocating Responsible Conduct (MARC) offers a sexual assault prevention workshop for men at FSU, which Howell cites as a great resource. This could be offered for course credit or incentivized by academic

100%

0%: the only acceptable

percentage of sexual

assault on campus

0% groups, student organizations, and fraternities to promote education. FSU Measure Up also offers an FSU Men’s Workshop, which can be brought to any organization free of charge upon request. The workshop hopes to expand into a Women’s Workshop in the fall. These are great initiatives that should be promoted more by the university and the FSU Measure Up campaign. Ongoing education would be more effective than posters and statistics. Though Howell says FSU Measure Up’s main goal is to correct misconceptions, he acknowledges that provoking additional thought and self-reflection is a close second. The campaign is certainly provoking additional thought, but are those words and numbers getting turned in to positive actions? After talking with Rick Howell, who was wonderfully enthusiastic and answered my questions with a lot of relevant information, I felt much better about the campaign, which he certainly thinks is a success. However, most students aren’t talking to Rick Howell. The ones I spoke to were confused, concerned, and wanted to know what

action was being taken. “Although I see the benefits of the campaign, I’m concerned about the ways it can be perceived,” said Athena Bressack, an FSU senior. “Some of the statistics make me question by what standard are we measuring the men of FSU—are we fine with the fact that some men don’t receive consent before sexual activity?” I’m not sure if there is a good way to measure the campaign’s success, but considering the complex nature of the campaign and the implications of the statistics, do FSU men really measure up to the morals and ideals expected in this country or are we merely tipping the scales? More importantly, what can we do about it? For more information, please visit fsumeasureup. com and consider hosting a workshop with any of the groups you are affiliated with. If students really believe the statistics are not effective, they need to be the first to encourage change into a different, more education-focused direction.

Issue 9, April 2012

The Yeti

a quick and painless note on Melissa Hall Staff Writer

EUTHANASIA

ccording to Rick Santorum, Europe kills all their old people (the Netherlands in particular). Then of course, in an act of protecting themselves, they all wear bracelets saying “Do not euthanize me.” Ever-willing to deceive the public, Rick Santorum is up to his old ways. For anyone else believing that people are getting injected left and right, allow me to enlighten you. According to the Oxford English Dictionary Online, euthanasia is “the means of bringing about a gentle and easy death” brought about by medication. It’s the same idea as putting Fido “to sleep.” Euthanasia quickly and quietly puts a person suffering from a painful and unwanted condition to sleep and then takes affect almost immediately. The key words one should note are “gentle” and “easy.” “I’m sticking to the Dutch definition and that is: active ending of life by request of the patient,” said Susanne Dolman, Dutch resident living in the Netherlands. This is contrary to what Santorum said at the American Heartland Forum, stating “… half the people who are euthanized [in the Netherlands] every year, and it’s 10 percent of all deaths… are euthanized involuntarily in hospitals.” “Involuntary” and “by request” do not

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have the same meaning. Physician-aided suicide has become a hot-topic issue. Legalizing euthanasia gives patients the power to control whether or not they live out the rest of their lives in pain. Some are fearful that it could potentially create “death panels” which would give physicians the power to kill people, explains Sarah Palin. This is ignorance. Opponents of legalizing euthanasia state that it is the doctor’s legal and moral obligation to keep a patient alive, acting solely as a healer. This is all stated in the Hippocratic Oath, which declares that a doctor will practice medicine ethically. O p p o n e n t s claim that under the Hippocratic Oath, a doctor cannot administer euthanasia. A selection from the classic translation of the Oath

states: “I will give no deadly medicine to any one if asked, nor suggest any such counsel.” According to this translation, I guess that means doctors can’t do it. End of discussion. Interestingly enough, the modern version states this: “If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life.” These statements clearly contradict. The fact of the matter is that many believe that it gives doctors too much control.

Views They would have the ability to not only save a patient, but kill them as well. Patients might begin to fear for their lives, believing that doctors allowed to administer euthanasia would wish to end their lives in order to save money for the hospital. This is a pretty irrational fear. Bringing up the Hippocratic Oath used in opponent’s rationale, a physician has the obligation to treat a patient by doing all they medically can. It’s doubtful that a doctor would immediately think of euthanasia instead of a treatment that could cure the patient. It’s even more doubtful that a doctor would ever mention physician-aided suicide to a patient that is nowhere near death. More outrageous still is the thought that a doctor would euthanize a patient without asking their consent at least several times, and then getting it in writing. As if this wasn’t enough to discuss, there’s the case of “passive” euthanasia, which according to Thomas Fuchs, MD, is a way of letting a person die by either “withdrawing life-sustaining treatment” or “withholding treatment.” This method is already common practice, even in the euthanasia-phobic United States. If a person has been on life-support for months at a time they’re eventually taken off, allowing the patient to die. Proponents of the legalization ask if this “passive” euthanasia is really all that different from administering drugs. I am apt to say that it isn’t. Whether actively withholding treatment or administering drugs, the doctor is in control. You could even argue that doctors really aren’t acting as God, they’re following a patient’s wishes. This brings me to the underlying questions of it all: why can’t patients choose to die a more dignified death? Why is it taboo for a patient to want to pass quietly and pain-free? Legalizing euthanasia would put more pressure on doctors to save money, opponents cry. Ezekiel Emanuel, MD, Chair of the Department of Clinical Bioethics at the National Institute of Health and Margaret Battin, MD, Distinguished Professor of Philosophy and Adjunct Professor of Internal Medicine at the University of Utah, claim otherwise. “Physician-assisted suicide is

not likely to save substantial amounts of money in absolute or relative terms…for the nation as a whole,” state Emanuel and Battin in their 1998 article, “What Are the Potential Cost Savings From Legalizing Physician-Assisted Suicide?” In 1995, Emmanuel and Battin did some computations, figuring that maybe 2.7 percent of patients who die each year would choose euthanasia in the end, which would only account for “0.07 percent of the total U.S. health care expenditures.” Some argue that families of a terminally ill patient might want to “pull the plug” early, because it would save them money from, what could potentially be, months of expensive treatment. This argument, once again, is illogical. With the case of euthanasia, a patient has to either have a living will that states they would choose physician-assisted suicide, or they would have to tell a physician several times in advance and then have it in writing. According to Dolman, the process is rigorous in the Netherlands. “Only when somebody is dying without chance of recovery …can the patient ask for active euthanasia…his or her close relatives have to agree with them and two doctors independent of each other have to agree as well.” That being said, there’s no way that a family could impose euthanasia on a living person. But really, why is it unreasonable for a family to not want to go into incredible debt for someone who is going to die? Physician-assisted suicide is an act of consideration which prevents families from being left with bills upon bills for treatment. Or at least that’s what I’d be thinking if I were in the situation. It really all comes down to whether you believe that it should be the physician’s choice to control a patient’s life, or the patient’s choice. If a patient can determine whether or not they want experimental chemotherapy or resuscitation, why not allow them the dignity to die without pain? As stated by Dolman, “If you don’t have a belief system that makes that suffering ‘worthwhile,’ then [dying in pain] will be useless. If euthanasia is entirely forbidden though, nobody has a choice.”

Assisted-suicide becomes legal in Switzerland.

The Ad Hoc Committee of the Harvard Medical School to Examine the Definition of Brain Death defines “irreversible coma” as a new criterion for death, citing the “great burden” placed on families of irreversibly comatose patients.

The American Hospital Association’s “Patient’s Bill of Rights” is created, affirming the patient’s right to refuse treatment.

The Supreme Court of New Jersey rules that Karen Ann Quinlan, a 21 year old in a permanently vegetative state, can be legally removed from her respirator. Assisted-suicide becomes legal in the Netherlands’ court system. It is officially made law in 2001.

1941

1968

1973

1976

1984

1990

Dr. Jack Kevorkian performs his first assistedsuicide. Oregon legalizes physicianassisted suicide with the Death with Dignity Act. It is upheld by the United States Supreme Court in 2006..

1997 1999

Dr. Kevorkian is arrested, and sentenced to 10-25 years imprisonment for second degree murder. Terry Schiavo has her feeding tube removed after lengthy courtroom battles. The Supreme Court refuses six times to interfere with the woman’s death.

Washington passes the Washington Death with Dignity Act. It is the second US state to legalize physician-assisted suicide.

2005

2008

Montana legalizes physicianassisted suicide.

Issue 9, April 2012

The Yeti

The

Black HippyA Movement: Real Rap Counterculture

Perry Petruccelli Views Editor Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All (or OFWGKTA) is an alternative hip-hop group from LA that has garnered a lot of attention over the course of last year with their strategic use of vulgarity. Can Odd Future maintain their hype without the use of shock value? The spotlight now has turned to focus on musical talent and as OFWGKTA comes out from behind the curtain of outrageous acts, they see Black Hippy already standing on the main stage, accepting a wide round of applause.

“I love Odd Future and everything they have accomplished, but Black Hippy is less vulgar, and therefore easier to identify with,” said Kaley LeGendre, a Recreation and Leisures major at TCC. The Black Hippy Movement, a hip hop group which also originates from LA, has too much talent to rely on bizarre behavior to gain notoriety; they aren’t a side act. Black Hippy is lyrically skilled, and they preach their message for Generation Y through music; it’s certainly a sermon to savor. Their rhymes are on-point,

their lyrics brilliant. Their cause relates more to NWA’s as countermovements that strive to be a voice of not just the black community, but the youth in its entirety. “Carefree. That’s the meaning behind [Black Hippy]. We do what we want to do, we’re not confined by what the industry’s telling us what to do or what the radio is telling us what to do... There’s a new generation out there and they feel what they feel and they dislike what they dislike,” said Kendrick Lamar, Black Hippy’s quintessential leader.

Schoolboy Q “Life for me is just weed and brews.” 25-year-old Quincy Hanley grew up in the heart of Los Angeles and had the most noticeably troubled youth out of all the members of Black Hippy. At age 12, Q joined a gang, and by 16, he was dealing Oxycontin and crack cocaine. Only four months before his first mixtape was released, Q quit the gang to focus on music. In regards to gang-banging, Q said, “I think people are starting to get to the point where it’s really not cool. It’s cool to listen to the music and all that shit. But to be actually out there playing with your life? People got too much to gain and too much to lose.”

The way Schoolboy Q describes his times in a gang demonstrates his effort to be a voice for the youth. While he may not be a prime role model candidate, his words may speak louder than his actions in this situation. I’d match up Schoolboy Q against Domo Genesis in the Odd Future versus Black Hippy battle. Within Black Hippy, Q balances out Kendrick in a good vs. evil style. While Kendrick urges his rap mates to go to church, Q lives his life for drugs, women, sex, and many other cliché materialistic values. Odd Future’s lyrics are often related to fantasy rape and murder, or something misogynistic. However, Q chooses to rap about real-life experiences involving life

in a gang, the ghetto, or frankly getting wasted. I’d choose to listen to someone describe their struggles and successes over a description of a rape any day of the week.

Jay Rock “From Hood Tales to the Cover of XXL.” The thing I most enjoy about Jay Rock is that he keeps his style close to his roots. His delivery is classic, and his lyrics are tough. Most of his songs depict a difficult life growing up, but not once does he back down. “[Jay’s] voice sounds like The Game, but his flow is like Biggie’s,” says Clinton Gingerich, a business major at FSU. “He’s able to produce a fun sound without stooping to simple lyrics.” Jay may use the majority of his raps to describe

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his life in the hood, but he doesn’t resort to overused ghetto generalizations. There’s a sort of authenticity to his music that is hard not to respect. The artist from Odd Future most resembling Jay Rock is the 21-year-old hype-man, Hodgy Beats. The decision on this one is a little too close, as Hodgy Beats is just plain sick. However, Jay Rock’s lyrics are undoubtably more gangster and he’s grittier than Hodgy Beats, so I think I’ll just play it safe and call this one a draw.

Views

Ab-Soul What’s your life about, enlighten me / Is you gonna live on your knees, or die on your feet / Is you gonna plead the fifth, or sound the horn / The time is now child, come on Ab-Soul and Earl Sweatshirt represent the under-promoted potential superstars for their groups. They both have a knack for rap, but currently I give the edge to Ab. Earl acts a little too childish to be a leading name in rap,

while Ab shows signs of knowledge wiser than a Buddhist monk’s. Labeled the Albert Einstein of the crew, Ab-Soul’s music represents true hip hop. Being the least promoted of the group doesn’t seem to bother Ab, as he knows that his music will soon be a household name in rap. Listen to any of his songs, and his lyrical wordplay will seamlessly glide over his classic sound.

Kendrick Lamar

“I’m not on the outside looking in, I’m not on the inside looking out, I’m in the dead fucking center looking all around.” When compared to Tyler the Creator from Odd Future, Kendrick lacks the achievements of Tyler, but certainly not the recognition. At first glance, Tyler may seem more creative with his shocking songs and outrageous videos, but take a look at “Rella,” the newest video directed by Tyler himself. The video features Tyler as a

Their ability to be successful as solo artists is no surprise; it comes from the backand-forth, tag-team style that results from their collaborations that are truly astonishing. Since their styles range from smooth to rough, they complement each other in a way that isn’t often shown in rap groups. Their chemistry is evident in every verse, and their bond only seems to grow tighter with every song. If it were up to me, I would hand them

centaur doing cocaine. ‘Nuff said. Kendrick chooses a more intelligent route, preferring savvy lyrics. That’s why I’m shaking my head when you rap dissing / My stomach start turning, my nerves get to the twitching / I start evaluating, then my final intuition / Is that you wishing a come up, would just come up / We used to beefing over a turf, fuck beefing over a verse In just five lines Kendrick is able to say so much. He shows disdain for how confrontational rap music has become, while condemning rappers for fighting through music while people are out in the real world fighting for their life. Dubbed as the “Prince of the West Coast” by The Game, Kendrick is the most diverse of the group. He has an innate ability to draw you in with his lyrics while his smooth voice drifts over piano-heavy (and sometimes dreamy) beats. Yet, pump up the BPM and Kendrick unleashes quickness on par with the

fastest working tongues in the industry. “Kendrick is just a young go-hard trying to be different from commercial rappers,” says Tyler Davis, Finance major at FSU. “His subject, content, and lyricism are fresh and he’s always trying something new.” Kendrick’s claim that he represents the first true voice of our generation shows he’s ready to be the leading name in hip-hop. “We need to get over the whole fight and war about racism. At the end of the day, we’re all human beings... That’s why the world is so fucked up today because over the years, people have lost sight of what’s really going on. Shit is really real. The main thing is to live and we’re not living because there are so many distractions. Kendrick discusses many different topics he feels passionate about. Women being treated unfairly by men, children growing up without fathers. Would you rather me discuss this than put a quote?

the keys to the rap kingdom right now. They’ve all proven they have skills. They have songs you can blare at parties and they have songs you must listen to with a dictionary in hand. They’re leading our culture away from autotuning and mainstream-driven lyrics and guiding us towards a happy place filled with hopes, dreams, and some solid hip-hop tunes. No need to strap yourselves in, this ride is as smooth as Kendrick’s flow.

Many years down the road when historians aim to categorize our music, I expect Black Hippy to be chosen as the group who represents our generation, and not Odd Future. While Odd Future gained their popularity through their wild ways, Black Hippy has built their fanbase from the ground up without using illusions and gimmicks. Fans aren’t waiting around for what outrageous act Black Hippy will do next. They are only anxiously waiting for their debut album.

Issue 9, April 2012

The Yeti

Sports

Athlete Profile:

Johnny Horne

Ryan Dailey Contributing Writer

Johnny Horne’s practice begins in a way that may seem bizarre to the typical college athlete. Hoisting up a thick and sturdy rope with 13 others, he and his fellow teammates prepare themselves to plummet some 40 feet towards the Circus floor. After three years with the Flying High Circus, Horne has become a star on the trapeze. He takes to the skies with fellow trapeze artists Elizabeth Mishaan, Nicole Fearnbach, and Mackenzie Wickliffe, and is continually a crowd favorite. The group puts on a show that is visually stunning with equally impressive Seminole-themed costume apparel, complete with FSU traditional warpaint. The 21-year-old San Diego native joined the FSU Flying High circus in 2009 as a sophomore. Initially interested in finding something to help him stay in shape, Horne found a new opportunity under the red and yellow tents on campus after taking the onecredit Circus Activities class. Horne got all that he bargained for and more, as the Flying High Circus gave him a heavy workload. “I started out doing a skating act, a stationary trapeze act called double trapeze, and trampoline casting,” said Horne, talking about his debut with the circus. He also spent time performing on the teeterboard, a mechanism that resembles a sees-saw, where he was flung into the air in order to carry out somersaults and other acrobatic feats. Horne’s diverse portfolio of high school sports explains the athletic versatility he shows in the circus, while providing him with the work ethic and drive to get more out

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of FSU than what is offered in the confines of the classroom. While attending high school in Sarasota, Florida, he competed in football, track and field, swimming, and soccer. Much of his success as a performer comes from skills that he developed while long-jumping and pole-vaulting at the high school level. However, Horne still credits the Circus’ trainers and coaches with molding his strength into a circus-applicable skillset. “You come in with overall strength, and [the coaches] just knock you down to whatever they want you to be doing,” said Horne. Trapeze artists have a grueling schedule leading up to show time. A typical practice consists of an exhausting run-

through of the entire act, making it an absolute necessity to build stamina and stay in high performance shape while a member of the team. “We just make sure to keep in shape outside of practice,” said Horne. “We practice every day for flying and do about two runthroughs each practice.” Elizabeth Mishaan, one of the performers flying opposite Horne, is the most experienced of the current trapeze artists, and is in her fourth year with the circus. If anyone has seen a high number of talented artists come through FSU, it’s Mishaan. “Johnny did a really good job of stepping into a new position and making it work,” said Mishaan.

Johnny Horne prepares for his trapeze routine.

Mackenzie Wickliffe began performing with the Flying High Circus at the same time as Horne and watched him progress as a performer first-hand. “We started with the circus at the same time, so we kind of had to learn together,” said Wickliffe. “It was an adventure.” Horne catches his teammates in mid-air as they fly at high speeds. He insists that flying doesn’t come without its bumps and bruises. “The circus is pain. Minor injuries occur all the time, it’s the nature of the sport,” said Horne. Thankfully, he has never seen any serious injuries firsthand in the circus. In addition to performing, Horne is involved in the Flying High Circus Camp. The camp is comprised of seven week-long camp

sessions that begin July 25th. Horne and the other performers that work with the camp make it possible for children, ages 7-17, to learn real circus skills, like flying trapeze. “The kids love Johnny,” said Nate Stapp, the associate director and trapeze coach. Horne is a big hit with campers, who enjoy watching him demonstrate his athletic prowess up close. Horne is a stellar example of a studentathlete here at FSU and will continue to dazzle audiences and make a difference in the community. He has certainly done his part to uphold the rich tradition of excellence within the Flying High Circus.

ages. It promises both thrills and quality entertainment. Along with putting on special student shows, the circus stays tied to its alumni by hosting it’s 65th Anniversary Celebration on April 13th-15th. Alumni will get to participate in the 65th Anniversary dinner and gala, a tent tour, and an afternoon performance. Since the Flying High Circus is an extracurricular activity under the division of Student Affairs, it must generate its own revenue through these shows. The circus also performs for paying sponsors, doing road shows around the southeast. For more information on tickets, show times, and the Flying High Circus, visit the circus’ website at circus.fsu.edu.

About the Flying High Circus

The Flying High Circus kicked off at the beginning of April. The show runs eight times between March 30th and April 14th. Home shows are located on the FSU campus and they are a fun attraction for all

Photos by Frederick Snyder

Issue 9, April 2012

The Rise, Fall, and Possible Resurgence of Ryan Braun The Yeti

Nick Cicale Assistant Sports Editor

he 2011 National League race to the Most Valuable Player award was not without controversy, as Milwaukee Brewers’ Ryan Braun won a close battle with LA Dodger Matt Kemp. While Braun’s statistics were undoubtedly great (33 HR, 111 RBI, 41 SB), Matt Kemp outdid him in virtually every category (39 HR, 124 RBI, 41 SB). If statistics aren’t enough, Braun’s former teammate Prince Fielder was expected to draw some of the attention, taking would-be Braun votes on his way to fulfilling his own monstrous season. Ultimately, voters gave Braun the edge because he played for a team within playoff contention, whereas Matt Kemp was able to “be the man” in L.A. with the Dodgers, a team that finished 11.5 games back. “Ryan Braun won because Matt Kemp’s teammate, pitcher Clayton Kershaw, won the Cy Young award,” said Troy Provost-Heron, a baseball fan. “The Dodgers had such a poor record, the team couldn’t possibly have both an MVP and Cy Young winner. Matt Kemp definitely had the better season, though I still would’ve voted for [Braun].” Slight controversies like this are common in sports, where fans, coaches, broadcasters and writers regularly have extremely divergent views concerning a player’s worth. However, when word got out in late December that Braun tested positive for steroid use during the playoffs and faced a 50-game suspension effective immediately at the beginning of the 2012 season, the controversy grew to massive proportions. Braun’s alleged steroid-use stumped Commissioner Bud Selig and the MLB, who thought highly of Braun and cited him frequently as evidence of a drug-free baseball era — a new era in baseball in which a steroid testing process effectively weeds out the users. Selig believed he found his go to guy in Braun, and when sizing up Braun, it is hard to refute him. Braun has all the assets, from his GQ chin and well-spoken demeanor, to his work ethic and consistently

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impressive numbers. In Braun, Selig found his golden boy, which is why accusations of steroid use were devastating. Due to a technicality, on February 23rd, Braun became the first player to ever win an appeal with MLB and to have a suspension related to performance enhancing drug use dropped. The collector who had been in possession of Braun’s test sample failed to deliver it to Federal Express for shipping in an amount of time that was considered suitable for the test to remain valid. What may have happened to the sample while it was in the collector’s possession is unknown, but Braun claims issues of tampering. Major League Baseball has mentioned that they are disappointed in the results of the appeal, but are still confident the system currently in place is most effective. “If I had done this intentionally or unintentionally, I would be the first one to step up and say I did it,” said Braun at a press conference after winning his appeal. “I truly believe in my heart, and I would bet on my life, that this substance never entered my body at any point.” It is impossible to know the truth, but Braun doesn’t share the typical physique of other high-profile steroid user, and his weight, approach at the plate, stolen base numbers, and defensive ability at left field have all remained consistent throughout his career. In contrast, Barry Bonds gained 40 pounds in two years between 1990 and 92 when he started to use steroids. His speed dropped while his power swing started to dominate the league. Alex Rodriguez also gained weight and lost mobility, and he was moved from shortstop to third base in order to stay effective defensively. Whether or not Braun actually took PEDs, the failed drug test will always cast some doubt on what was once a perfect baseball résumé. “His reputation is certainly tainted,”

said MLB fan Andre Canellas. “The best way to win back [your] fans trust is to have a great season when everyone knows you aren’t taking steroids. Everyone has kind of overlooked A-Rod taking steroids, because he’s still been really good since then.” Still, passing all of his future drug tests with no set-backs cannot completely erase the past. His future play has to be consistent with what it has been in the past, or people will question whether or not his earlier seasons in the league were valid. Repeating the statistical season he had in 2011 would be a hard task for anyone, but Braun has more factors going against him than most reigning MVPs would. Putting aside the stresses that come with the title, handling the pressure of the steroid controversy could affect him mentally and physically, especially if it has at all affected his training routines. He also lost teammate Prince Fielder, who’s batted behind Braun the last 4 seasons, to free agency. This shouldn’t affect his average or RBI’s, but his runs scored will go down significantly, as well as the team’s offense as a whole, meaning he’ll have to put more of the teams weight on his shoulders. If anyone can recover from this controversy, it’s Braun. If he truly never took steroids, he’ll flourish this season like every other, and the accusations will all be in the past. But if he’s guilty, fans and players will recognize the change in his performance right away.

Issues in Sports

Bradley Williams Arts Editor

LGBTQ Athletes march in Pride London 2011.

Homophobic slurs have often been used in the case of college athletes and their respective fan base, but recent crossovers into school apparel have caused uproar by the GLAAD association, LGBTQ members, and those who see moral complications with using a highly offensive slur for a cheap laugh or to degrade somebody. Earlier this year, Vanderbilt’s basketball team was scheduled to play Kentucky in a heated match. Kentucky was celebrating winning its 2,000th basketball game with shirts that read “UK2K.” Unfortunately, Vanderbilt decided to respond by selling shirts that read “UK2GAY,” using “gay” as an obviously derogatory term. When contacted by GLAAD regarding who had created the shirt design, the answers were unclear; however, the selling of these shirts on the school’s website is offensive regardless of who initially created it. More so, the creators obviously were aware of the shirts potential to cause conflict, because the page featured a disclaimer reading, “These shirts are not meant to be offensive or derogatory. They are only meant to be humorous.” Saying that you are joking after saying (or wearing) something does not remove the insult. An acknowledgment of the offensive potential placed right next to the shirt shows that the prospect of making money outweighed the option to not offend the public. Vanderbilt’s endorsement and use of the slur is disheartening. A respected institute of

Homophobia in Sports

higher learning should know better than to sell shirts using gay as a derogatory term. College should be a place that promotes building a smarter future by educating students on how to be rational adults, not one which works to keep outdated slurs in practice. In addition to its hindrance on active students, college endorsement of homophobic slurs harms an even younger audience. Many attendees of college sports games are the children of adult supporters. Bullying is a very serious issue in school, and an educational institution should not be contributing to the problem. Of course, universities can take the high road and have a positive influence on young people. Last year, high school student Jonathan Correia got online coverage for identifying as straight but wearing a Human Rights Campaign (an organization fighting for LGBTQ rights) sticker on his helmet for every match of the season. When his girlfriend showed him that University of Maryland wrestler Hudson Taylor had worn the sticker on his helmet during his matches, Correia thought he could do the same to show support for school members who felt alienated. “I did varsity swimming, cross country, and JV weight lifting,” said Joel Figueroa, an FSU student who identifies as gay, about his high school experience. I coached peanut soccer and played recreational football on Sundays. I was not out in high school, it was more implied that I was gay. Luckily any teammates, or anyone I associated myself with really never caused me any insecurities . . . They were really welcoming because it was implied, but there was also a sense that they did not want to know that I was gay.” Often an issue for LGBTQ youth is the line between implied sexuality and concrete admission. Many feel that people are okay with you, even if you have been suspected of being gay, but once it is directly mentioned, it becomes an issue. “My father, who has a prominent position in the military, didn’t judge me but instead

pushed me into sports to try to prove others wrong,” said Jacob Bellinger, FSU student. Another common issue is that many people do recognize when classmates are being treated wrongly, but it is understandably difficult for them to oppose an entire sports team made of peers. If they are also trying to obscure their sexuality, then it can be daunting to say something against homophobia. “I did witness acts of homophobia during my tenure as a track runner. At one point, my teammates began to call another teammate of mine a ‘faggot’ because his voice had a high pitch to it. I still regret not doing anything in that situation,” said Jesus Hernandez, who identifies as gay. Former Dallas Cowboys player Michael Irvin is outspoken about his support for equality and open sexuality, going so far as to posing on the cover of Out magazine last year, in spite of him being a straight man. In the issue, Irvin shares that he had a gay brother, and that initially this troubled him. A younger, more intolerant Irvin felt the need to prove his own sexuality, a common insecurity in men, which resulted in Irvin going through life as a womanizer. Irvin’s father was very openminded about his son’s sexuality, and taught him to accept his brother and his family’s situation. Now, Irvin is using his success on the field to spread open sexuality and acceptance of others off the field. The seemingly machismo-driven sports world has always carried an undertone of an old-fashioned contest for who is the “manliest.” Well, it is 2012, and traditional notions of manliness shouldn’t be imposed in sports (or military, or government for that matter). College is a place of higher learning, and those enrolled in college need to realize the ignorance attached to bigoted slogans, whether it is on a t-shirt or conduct on the court or playing field. These shirts are not humorous, but offensive and derogatory. Regardless of their intent, they are causing a lot of harm for very few laughs.

Issue 9, April 2012

Sports

The Yeti

Shea McGlynn Contributing Writer

his summer, the 2012 Olympics kick off on July 27th. All eyes will be on London to watch the best of the best compete for gold, silver, and bronze. “We have no doubt that this summer will

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be a summer like no other in Britain,” said Denis Oswald, Chairman of the International Olympic Committee, at a press conference. “London is ready to welcome the world.” The athletes to watch this summer range from newcomers, unsatisfied runner-ups, and those defending their medals from the 2008 Beijing Games. American swimmer Michael Phelps was the standout of the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, winning an impressive 8 gold medals on his way to setting 4 individual world records and 3 records with team USA in swimming relays. American teammate, Ryan Lochte, earned a commendable 2 golds and 2 bronzes in Beijing, but was overshadowed by Phelps’ presence in both the pool and the media. This summer, Lochte will have a second chance to outshine Phelps, as they will be competing against one another in the 200 meter freestyle and 200 meter individual medley. Over the last four years, it seems that Phelps has plateaued and fallen under media scrutiny, while Lochte has been quietly climbing to the top of the swimming world. Lochte is eligible to compete in 9 events,

which means if he can win all 9, he can break Michael Phelps’ historic run of the 2008 games. Either way, look for this American rivalry to be a highly publicized event, and a cornerstone in the London games this summer. “We’ve been racing against each other since 2004, so we have a long history of just racing each other and we’ve grown a great friendship because of that, and a good rivalry,” said Lochte. “I think after 2008, I was upset with myself. I wasn’t really satisfied with what I accomplished. It’s made me a better swimmer.” Arguably the best beach volleyball duo ever, Americans Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, will make their return to the sport after spending time away from the nets. Since winning the gold in 2008, Walsh has been pregnant twice and May-Treanor took time to recover from

an Achilles tendon injury. After rebuilding their bodies to Olympic-ready condition, the two will reunite in London, hoping to display the same dominance that led them to gold in the last two Olympics. It will certainly be interesting to see how they will fare against the competition and if they will be able to pull off a third consecutive gold medal for team USA, despite living a more standard life off the sand in the past four years. Great Britain’s Paula Radcliffe has one of the most impressive longevity stories in Olympic history. At the age of 38, the marathon runner’s resume includes a mind-boggling time of 2 hours, 15 minutes and 25 seconds — a world record. In fact, no other woman has come within 3 minutes of it. Yet she still lacks an Olympic medal to hang in her trophy case. In the 2000 Olympics, she had a fourth place finish. But she would not come any close just missing the bronze, as she was injured both in the 2004 and 2008 Olympic Games. This summer, the mother of two will again strive for the gold, this time in her home country. Jamaica’s Usain Bolt, who in many regards is the fastest man in the world, broke the world records for the 100m and the 200m in the 2008 Olympics, with times of 9.69 and 19.30 respectively. Bolt also won the gold medal in the 4x100 relay with Jamaican teammates Nesta Carter, Michael Frater, and Yohan Blake with a record-breaking time of 37.10 seconds. There is a substantial Jamaican population in London, which can perhaps give Bolt an advantage that’ll allow him to break even his own records. “A lot of people look at me as a legend, but I don’t look at it like that at the moment, but [maybe] in few years, I’m working on it,” said Bolt at a press conference. “My goal is to become a legend, and that is what I’m working for.”

2008 Beijing Olympics’ Top Medal Winners Country

G o l d Silver

Bronze

To t a l

United States 36

110

China

100

Russia

Great Britain 19

Australia

Germany

Uni t e d Sta t e s ’ to p O l y m p i c M o m e n t s of t h e l a s t 2 0 ye a rs Phelps and Co. Knock Off French

The United States beat the French in the 4x100 freestyle relay by 0.08 with a record shattering time of 3 minutes and 8.24 seconds. The performance was a highlight of the Michael Phelps’ and the US’s swimming dominance during the 2008 games.

The Magnificent 7

In the 1996 Olympic games in Atlanta, Kerri Strug won the gold for the “Magnificent 7” USA Women’s Gymnastics team after performing a vault on a sprained ankle.

The Dream Team

1992 was the first year NBA players were allowed to compete in the Olympic games. The USA men’s basketball team, nicknamed the “Dream Team,” beat Croatia for the gold 117 to 85 in the final, in what was the team’s closest game of the 8 game tournament. Team USA, made up of superstars Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Charles Barkley, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, Karl Malone, Scottie Pippen, Chris Mullin, Clyde Drexler, John Stockton, and Christian Laettner won by an average of 44 points per game.

Issue 9, April 2012

Arts & Life

The Yeti

T A L L A H A S S E E H O U S E

S H O W S

Getting Intimate in a Close-Knit Music Scene Kelly Sawtelle Contributing Writer

Tallahassee has been at a loss for good show spaces ever since the Farside and the Engine Room closed their doors last semester. Anyone familiar with these venues can understand the weight of these closures, and has probably been feeling the withdrawal symptoms ever since. With the number of venues in town dwindling, local concert-goers have been left scrambling to get their live music fix. Many Tallahassee residents and music enthusiasts have taken it upon themselves to throw house shows in order to preserve the scene. The house show scene has been exploding in popularity as local and touring bands play sets in cramped living rooms and musty garages all around town. There are no age restrictions, dirt cheap donations for entry, and an intimacy that is seldomly replicated in the typical venue all add up, creating an inviting atmosphere. Tallahassee also has no shortage of participating houses as AF Haus, Ghazi House, St. Anger House, and the Shark Tank regularly put on shows. “My roommates and I host shows to support the Tallahassee music scene,” said Alex Matos, one of the tenants of the Ghazi House. “We’ve always had shows — as have many of the other houses in the area — but after the closing of the Farside and the Engine Room it just kind of seemed like houses had to pick up the slack.” Brian Merck, a fan of many Tallahassee bands, is a regular at local house shows. He claims that the great hospitality of show hosts is a selling point for bands that play in

Tallahassee. “Local bands often put on shows at house venues just for the sake of having a smaller, more personal experience with audience members,” said Merck. “Smaller touring bands still clinging to DIY ethics have made it a point to stop at our houses after hearing of audience hospitality.” It doesn’t stop with them. Household names like La Dispute and The Mongoloids have set up shop in the living rooms of students. The people who run these houses genuinely want bands to play there, not for the sake of making a buck, but for the experience of having dozens of their friends get up close and personal with bands they enjoy.” No longer held back by a metal

barricade or a herd of over-zealous security guards, those who attend house shows are given the opportunity to bond with their favorite band. Another advantage to house shows is local benefit shows. “Just this past March 2nd, a benefit show was held at the Ghazi House to raise money to help pay for the surgery of a kid who broke his arm at a hardcore show in town,” said Merck. “Over 100 people rallied together to help with his medical bills.” Audience members shouldn’t attend house shows with the intent of breaking any bones, but it is nice to know that this community’s got your back (or in this case, your arm). “We had a good time with the audience,”

photo by Whitney Borkowski

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photo by Rosie Richeson

said Jordan Esker, frontman of local band Tenebrist, after playing at the Ghazi House. “It was largely a younger [crowd]. I’m guessing the tendency to stick with these house shows comes from the lack of ‘all ages’ venues around here. I remember after we played our set that we tried to pass out fliers for a show we had the coming week at The Mockingbird Cafe. I gave the flier to a group of kids only to realize that they couldn’t go. They were all around 16 or 17, maybe younger.”

LO C A L Young Adult 5-piece indie RIYL: Anathallo, Do Make Say Think, Pygmy Lush

Carrousel Dream-pop/folk RIYL: Sufjan Stevens and Sigur Ros.

No Humanity 3-piece really fast hardcore punk RIYL: Black Flag, but heavier

Canjacket

This access to a wider audience helps to pump up the participation at house shows. “We lost two fan blades when Ka Plaa and No Humanity played. I guess fitting a little over a hundred people into our living room to see Livid and the Mongoloids was a bit of an achievement,” said Matos. Tallahassee residents are familiar with the complaint that popular bands never stop in Tallahassee. This complaint simply is neither fair nor true. Our very own Tallahassee bands are

making it even easier to find a close and affordable house show. “The last thing we want is for a scene we all love to die,” said Matos. “There are so many good musicians in Tallahassee.” Check out the DIY Tallahassee and Tallahassee Show Calendar on Facebook to get constant updates on upcoming house shows around town.

S P OT L I G H TS : Ka Plaa 5-piece psychedelic punk RIYL: Hardcore and Star Trek

Satellite Dirty, indie rock RIYL: The Black Keys

Tennebrist 4-piece rock/emo/soul RIYL: Jimmy Eat World and The Get Up Kids

Hometown Holiday 3-piece pop punk RIYL: Early Blink-182

The Fuzzlers

Mystery Date

Self-described mutated Foamcore/ goof punk RIYL: Goofy, fun things

2-piece girl indie rock RIYL: Be Your Own Pet and Built to Spill

3-piece orgcore RIYL: The Lawrence Arms and Against Me!RIYL: Goofy, fun things

Issue 9, April 2012

The Hunger Games in review: The Yeti

Why It’s the Next Harry Potter. Alex Zeidel Staff Writer When the credits rolled at the end of the final Harry Potter movie last summer, I cried. Not because the film was especially poignant, but because I felt my childhood was over. Every time a new Potter book or movie came out, I re-read all the previous books to the point where I almost had them memorized. With Potter over, I needed something new. In terms of capturing the cultural zeitgeist, Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games is in many ways the rightful heir to the Potter throne. It is a tale of a dystopian future in which the government, known as the Capitol, forces selected children to compete in a deadly competition known as The Hunger Games. Collins created an accomplished world filled with many fleshed out, likable characters. It’s easy to see why kids are obsessing over this series the way older kids did with Potter. The protagonist and competitor, Katniss Everdeen, is given a layer of depth and humanity in the same vein as Harry Potter. She’s brave, stubborn, and fiercely devoted to doing the right thing no matter what the personal cost. Some of her decisions show she’s flawed, but what good hero isn’t? “This is a girl whose love for family and friends drives her beyond herself and pushes her to bravery that she never expected,” said Sonya Cronin, a professor of Religion and Fantasy at FSU. “What I hope is that the love and compassion that Katniss displays will be contagious to the readers of The Hunger

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Games.” The story features an unfortunate love triangle, (blame Stephanie Meyer for that one) but Katniss is no Bella Swan. When Katniss deceives her love interest, Peeta, so that she can save his life, we know we’re not dealing with another helpless heroine. Unlike those other fantasy series like Harry Potter and Twilight, this is a novel in which 23 teenagers must be murdered in order for our hero to survive, and not with the tidiness of magical killing spells that Rowling has at her disposal; as a result, it is appropriately brutal. Boys have their necks snapped and girls are stabbed through the stomach. “It’s tough to know what’s okay to let my kids read and watch these days,” said Karen Kaufman, a Tallahassee mother of two, after watching the film. “I’m still hesitant, but it gets them reading.” It’s grisly work but Collins does an excellent job balancing the macabre with moments of hope. When the first book concludes, we’re as ready as our heroes to see the world torn apart. While it seems like every young adult novel these days simply exists as a spec script for a future film, The Hunger Games proves quality adaptations can be made. There are omissions from the source, but none so egregious that it hurts the quality as a whole. “I thought they took creative license but for the most part I liked it,” said FSU Junior

Whitney Cain. One of the best aspects of the movie is something the book couldn’t include. In the novel, we never leave Katniss. During The Games when Katniss is scared hiding in a tree, we are present, as clueless to the outside world as she is. The film is wisely less claustrophobic. The Games are a reality show in the cruelest sense; the action in the arena is interspersed with colorful commentary and the reactions of those watching in Panem. In a movie like this, casting is crucial and rising star Jennifer Lawrence does a great job playing Katniss. Lawrence is subtle enough to appear both defiant and congenial at all times. Other stand-out performances include Stanley Tucci’s and Elizabeth Banks’ shamelessly garish Caeser and Effie. With an estimated weekend box office gross of 152 million dollars, The Hunger Games debuted with the third highest opening weekend of all time. This feat is even more spectacular when taking into account that the only two films ahead of it, the final Potter and The Dark Knight, were both sequels with built in demand. Both the book and the film versions of The Hunger Games do an excellent job at introducing an elaborate world. The Hunger Games is comparable to Harry Potter because exploring Panem with Katniss stirs up the same emotional attachment as discovering Hogwarts did with Harry. Best of all, the series is proof that kids will still read if given something decent.

Arts & Life

Community:

Why Ratings Don’t Matter

Danielle Befeler Contributing Writer

omedy fans were outraged when the critically-acclaimed show Community was put on an undetermined hiatus in the middle of its third season. Because of its low ratings, NBC decided to put the show on the chopping block. It recently made a return on the fifteenth of March, less due to a love of quality programming on NBC’s part, and more as a result of online petitioning on the part of Community’s fans. Low ratings can destroy a stellar show despite having strong critic reviews and a sizeable, loyal fan base. But with the use of social networking, fans no longer have to take a passive role in their favorite shows’ fates. The online outcry against the show’s cancellation made this apparent. The low ratings simply do not accurately represent viewership, which is recorded through the Neilson Ratings system. The Neilson Company sends out a special remote to random households throughout the country. Usually about 15,000 households record what they watch at any given period of time that the Neilson Ratings are being conducted. There are two ways of recording how many people are watching each show. The ratings calculation records show how many people are watching a show out of the entire population of the area that is being surveyed. The share calculation records how many people are watching a show out of everyone watching

television at that specific time. The latter will always have the higher percentage. Television shows like to use the share rating calculation because then they can price their advertisements at a higher rate. Shows with lower ratings may not sell enough advertisements, which leads to the possibility of cancellation. This is what happened with Community. The issue is that Community has a predominant Internet following, not a television one. “NBC, CBS, Fox, and MTV are encapsulated by the nature of television and the old Neilson ratings,” said Jay Cardenas, a junior studying Media Production. “A lot of people are cancelling cable in favor of Hulu.” Waiting by the television for your favorite show to come on is becoming an archaic act. DVR systems like TiVo are often used to record shows when they air so they can be watched at more opportune times. These recordings do not count towards the show’s ratings, however. Besides not calculating for digitally recorded shows, shows like Community (which target a younger audience) often get watched on websites like Hulu, which also are not accounted for in the Neilson Ratings. When the Internet is taken into account, ratings drastically change. “Gossip Girl was ranked 100 in the most watched shows list, and then it goes up to a ranking of 15,” said Ulla Bunz, an associate professor in the school of Communications.

“Companies use the new ranking for negotiations when they talk to advertisers to pay for commercials during when the TV show is playing.” Although it may seem that the show is not that popular, a poll conducted on Hulu argued otherwise. The poll asked who the audiences’ favorite characters were from the shows available on its website. Community characters won practically every time. “Last winter, NBC announced it was on hiatus,” said Cardenas. “Fans were horrified. They rallied together and created social awareness on the Internet, wrote letters to NBC, created a media storm, and talked on Twitter and Facebook. Through the Internet, we have empowerment through ourselves. It lets us be heard. TV and the traditional movement go against this. We don’t have to set aside time now with Hulu and the Internet. I missed it but I can watch it later.” NBC asked fans to take time out of their day and actually watch Community on the channel upon its return to network TV. “I think it’s silly because so many people today are too busy to watch a show during its time slot, so they watch it online,” said Alexis Billinge, a Community fan. Viewing habits have changed and it’s time the major networks took notice. “This is more of a short-term solution to a bigger problem,” said Cardenas.

Issue 9, April 2012

The Yeti

Arts & Life

A diet of debris, is it for me? Catherine O’Connor Contributing Writer

kay, everyone does it. It goes on everyday at Club Pub, or Wal-Mart,

or Winn Dixie, even New Leaf. People pick through the produce section like they’re trying to win the award for the best Granny Smith Apple –the one that’s shiny green, gleaming, waxy, perfect. But, does anyone stop to think about what happens to all those other apples? The next person to come along will do the same search, and the next, and the next. Poor, ugly apples. Do they not taste as good? Not juicy enough? No, instead they don’t pass the beauty standards we hold our produce to. Most likely, it’s going to be cut up anyway, which means slicing off that blemish takes less time than it does to take a bite and chew it up. Unfortunately this is just the tip of the iceberg, or tip of the landfill, rather. Before those apples even got to the store, thousands were thrown out by farmers that were neither pretty, nor fresh enough for American standards. In the case of eggs, which are not only graded but must fit into uniform, predetermined crates, only certain sizes and color varieties are chosen. This means that of the 27 million tons of edible food thrown out in this country yearly, five billion eggs are wasted. That’s a lot of breakfast. Then there’s the spoilage and fragility of these items to account for. Damaged goods are thrown out during shipping and delivery before you even get a chance to surrender the homely to the trash. On top of that, grocery stores can’t continue to sell items past the sell-by date, even though they may still be safe for up to a week after that. “If it doesn’t meet our standards, it doesn’t go on the shelf,” said Mark Grant, store

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manager of the Ocala Road

Publix. It might not reach their standards, but a lot of that food is still edible. It doesn’t just happen in the grocery store, though. It happens in your very own kitchen, in restaurants, in convenient stores, in supermarkets, in cafes, and bakeries all across the nation, let alone here in Tallahassee. In fact, the amount of food waste that is created in the United States per year could fill Doak Campbell Stadium in its entirety, every single day. Publix and other similar stores allow authorized non-profit organizations to come pick food up, specifically the Second Harvest Food Bank. However, anything else gets put into compactors, where it is later brought to the Leon County Transfer Station. There it is either dumped in the landfill here (yes, there’s one here, and it’s right off Capital Circle, down the street from Steak n’ Shake) or the one in Jackson County. When asked about the amount of daily food waste they receive, Calvin Holton, an employee at the station said, “It really just depends. Sometimes it’s one compacted carton, other times it’s five to ten…I think it could

be something seasonal with all the students coming and leaving town.” What is there to do about this unsettling image and even worse reality? For starters, grocery shoppers could join the “Ugly (but still yummy) Veggies Club.” Others could buy in moderation and simply go to the store more often. Jack Harrington, a senior at Florida State, said that he goes to the store “about once a week or a couple trips in between.” Like many others, he admits to throwing out old milk jugs along with the occasional moldy fruit. “I make a conscious effort to not throw things out. I don’t let food sit [for] a while. I’ll mostly eat all my fresh food. Maybe about 25 percent goes to waste from our fridge.” Another radical alternative to curb food waste is dumpster diving. Because the trash is either given away or compacted, dumpster

divers might have a hard time picking anything up from Publix’s backyard. However, Geron Germany, manager at the Winn-Dixie on Magnolia, says there has been a problem with dumpster diving and he has to tell people to leave. Some of these people are homeless, but others choose to do this. They are what you could call swindlers of scraps or robbers of rubbish, and they work by night. They are, of course, the freegans. When forty to fifty percent of all food in the U.S is thrown out per year, it’s these people that act to minimize the cycle of consumerism. Though many freegans can afford to buy food, they choose to use what would normally be wasted. Why is this not a bigger concept on a college campus when so many are digging out their pockets? One local Tallahassee freegan, Brock Rasor, co-opted a couple of classes about the movement on FSU’s campus this past month through the Center for Participant Education (CPE). “I guess what started it for me was the influence of writings and community lifestyles,” he said. “I had heard of and seen people living differently and it was interesting, so I started looking into it more. It wasn’t an immediate lifestyle change, it was very gradual…I went into my first dumpster and saw all the things being thrown away, and with so many people not able to get enough food

and necessities. It didn’t fit, so I adapted my lifestyle more or less.” As radical as it may seem, dumpster diving is not illegal. In fact, trash is part of public domain. The things to watch out for are no trespassing signs and cops, who will shoo you away and possibly threaten with charges, as evidenced by some of Brock’s individual experiences. What he has come across during his expeditions would surprise many. “You can find just about anything, any type of food: cakes, olive oil, yogurt, milk, eggs, meat. You can go to the back of home goods stores and find perfectly good stuff: maps, printers, vacuums, decor, mirrors, candles, paintings, frames. That was a lot of Christmas gifts this year,” said Brock. Still, Brock admits that dumpster diving

is a concept to get used to. “Dumpster diving is just one of many parts of ‘freeganism,’ the most controversial, maybe,” he said. “The main philosophy is to reuse rather that consume. That could be a bunch of things. It could be dumpster diving, but it doesn’t have to limit itself to just that. It could be as simple as going to a bike store and buying a used bike and fixing it up yourself; these things that are pretty insignificant, but at the same time, very significant, you know? Things like carpooling and riding a bike instead of driving are good starts… It’s about giving a new life to things destined for the trash.” For more information on freeganism internationally and those involved with the movement, visit www.trashwiki.org.

Issue 9, April 2012

The Yeti

drenched dog dressed red (for the year 2011) by Alicia Deer

1. red ink doesn’t always indicate an error or color a warning sign or paint a blood stain sometimes it fills-in a hydrant or assists a sunset or is the only ink from any pen I could find to tell you

2. there must be some sort of mistake my bed is dressed and walls are plain adorned by numbers that litter the calendar near the doorway there must be some sort of error a misprint from the manufacturer it doesn’t correlate to the present date or what comes after

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3. My dog drank all my whiskey when I wasn’t home it smelled rich of black licorice and tasted like a bone My dog drank all my whiskey now he is asleep and rightly so he did go for being such a thief

4. Ia ms ful l of o lov e I th toda y I w ink ill dre lov nch y o e sat unti u all l yo iat in t e for ced d and u hav his on e to d s t rip icken becom a n o som ed; e eig hbo e r.

Literature

[salt air, dense] by Lisa Play

The monkeys screeched in the trees while we stood in the dusk at the edge of the sea; she rushed the shore and curled around our ankles, inviting us out with the cobalt tide; away, away, she insisted, wrapping our ankles in the sand. Too late for a kiss at sunset, we held hands in the August dark, your Old Spice mixing with the salt air, dense with the evaporated Atlantic. Straight across the ocean, you whispered, Western Sahara borders the sea, sand dunes stand as tall as skyscrapers, all abandoned as Kubla Khan. We would meet no eyes on the shore, just the crowd of auburn mounds forever. A1A stretched north behind us, a longitude we could follow to Fernandina Beach, where we could look across to Morocco, if the curve of Earth would allow.

Issue 9, April 2012

Cellulite

The Yeti

Literature

by Abbey Cory

Tufts of flour covered Sheryl’s arms as she rolled pie crust out with a rolling pin, her muscles pinching and smoothing as she rolled it back and forth. She stood at the island counter in the middle of the kitchen, the only space not covered with the pies she’d been making for a church fundraiser. After hours of baking, the tile and grout had collected a powdery grime of flour, sugar, spices, and the various ingredients that had somehow missed the mixing bowl, but left the space smelling like a bakery. “Mom, I feel fat.” Sheryl’s daughter Dana stood in the kitchen in her new bikini bathing suit with the pink and purple flowers. The only thing that was blossoming, however, was her backside. Unlike Sheryl’s petite frame, Dana had inherited her father’s mother’s pear-shaped silhouette, just barely held together now by a string bikini. “Pft, no, you don’t,” Sheryl responded without taking her eyes off the dough. Sheryl had tried to match her daughter’s curves when Dana hit puberty, sneakily forcing candy bars down her throat between meals. Her metabolism just wouldn’t let up, however. “Mom. Look.” With a sigh, Sheryl stopped and turned to her with an exasperated look. She gave her a once-over. “Well anyone would look fat in that—you’re wearing a pair of napkins on your privates! Where else is the skin supposed to go but out?” She thrust her arms outward to make her point, pulling the baggy sweatshirt she was wearing away from her body. “Well, I wanted to wear a tankini but Lacie said all the other girls at the party would

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be wearing bikinis so if I didn’t, I’d look like a fat virgin,” she responded, flicking her curtain of brown hair out of her face with a snap of the head. “You’re fourteen! You are a virgin!” Sheryl glared at her daughter as she began furiously patting the dough with more flour. “Yeah but I can’t look like one and be fat. Only skinny girls can pull that off.” “You are not fat!” her mother spat, incredulous, now pointing at her with the rolling pin as her other hand flailed out, accidentally sending more flour into the air and making a haze around herself. “But look at this.” Dana turned around and patted the top of the back of her thighs, just under her butt, where a collection of dimples pinched her creamy skin together. “Cellulite.” She turned back around to face her mother, her expression grave. “Oh my God,” Sheryl groaned. “Get up here.” She slapped the counter island with a floured hand. “What?” “Just sit on the counter!” “Why?” “Because you’re not fat and you won’t have cellulite when I’m done with you.” “Okay…” Dana hesitantly plopped herself onto the counter top. “What are you going to do?” “Roll over onto your stomach. I’m just going to roll it right out.” “Huh? With the rolling pin? You’re making a pie with that!” “Yes and it gets the dough smooth, doesn’t it?” She pushed her daughter’s arm until

she finally rolled over, her forehead scrunched in confusion. Dana situated herself longwise on the counter island, holding herself on her elbows above the dough her mom had been rolling out, with her legs hanging off the other end. “Mom, this is weird.” Sheryl confidently began rolling out the back of Dana’s thighs. “Honey, do you think Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian never have to deal with cellulite? It comes with curves and you’ve been blessed with a womanly figure.” “I’m fourteen. I don’t want a womanly figure. It’d be much easier if I could’ve just gotten your body… Besides, I seriously doubt that J-Lo or Kim Kardashian use rolling pins to get rid of their cellu – ouch.” The wood on the pin was too slick and caught on her skin. “Oh, sorry…here I’ll just use some of this.” Sheryl grabbed a handful of flour and patted it on Dana’s thighs. “Mom! Ugh, you’re gonna get it on my suit!” “Oops…you’re right—I did a little.” Dana’s bathing suit bottom looked freshly powdered. “Well, I guess you’ll have to wear your tankini now. Good thing your thighs are smoother and it’s safe to look like a virgin again!” “I’m gonna look stupid.” Dana rolled over, her back and thighs now gritty. “Honey, the only stupid people are your friends,” Sheryl said as she stroked the hair away from her face, both of their cheeks now having matching streaks of flour. Dana sighed, defeated. “I know.”

RED by Tazara Weilhammer

A mound, barely 8 weeks Just like a blood clot, they said I poke at you Two pills brought you out

Two pills, a day of cramps while turning 18 Now an empty space and you are so red Scrape you off my maxi Place you on my palm The heat you stole from me Dissipates, or was it your own? I buried you by a boulder Shallow and cold.

Issue 9, April 2012

The Yeti

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