Vol. 41, Issue 22

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VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

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the plant Dawson College 3040 Sherbrooke Street West Westmount, QC, H3Z 1A4 Tel: (514) 931-8731 ext:1115 theplantnewspaper@gmail.com Copyright 2013

Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief Lex Herrington Managing Editor Sarine Moumdjian News Editor Sam Nazer International News Editor & CUP Liaison Devon Walcott Arts & Culture Editor MJ Cromp Voices Editor Justin Giglio Sports Editor Dan Sailofsky Jacob Cohen Graphics & Comics Editor Olivia Gilbey Head Copy Editor Lisa White Web Editor Super Happy Crazy Fun Page Monika Cefis

letter from the editor So, I was featured in my friend’s Vice article last week, Getting wasted on cum cocktails. Some of you may have seen it, some of you may have been one of the many to have commented, some of you have yet to read it, some of you may never. No matter. The article’s purpose was to review and try cocktails from Paul “Fotie” Photenhaue’s latest book, Semenology- a cocktail book that features semen as the a key ingredient. The author, who released a similar cookbook four years ago, is pushing culinary boundaries by experimenting with semen in gastronomy. His thought process runs something along the lines of, if we eat chicken menstruation [eggs], drink titty-milk from cows, and eat a ton of different animal ballsac (it’s a delicacy, apparently), why not some all-natural man juice? So, Gabe, the Vice intern, and her friends came over to my house, we drank cum cocktails that were named shit like Jim & Tonic, Mexi-

can Cumslide and Macho Mojito, and she wrote an article about the night’s experience. The article was published last Friday afternoon. Within an hour, it had hundreds of shares, likes and comments. I wasn’t completely sure how I felt about the growing infamy of the piece. Within two hours, my phone rang. It was my Dad. My sister’s friends had seen the article, linked it to her, to which my sister so kindly obliged to forward to both my parents (yeah, she does shit like that.) I answered my phone, and my conversation went something like this:

I wasn’t completely sure whether or not to laugh once I hung up the phone. It took me a few hours to completely understand what had just happened.Had I just experienced a warped, fucked up version of the Birds and Bees talk with my father? What the fuck. Ew. Fuck #yolo. That conversation alone made me regret the entire fucking experience and made me want to crawl in a hole and rot away with my semenmouth shame forever. Lucky me, I got to go for another round when my (prude) mum called me the next day. Hooray for sisters, amirightguys?

“Yes, dad. It’s real.” “No, Dad. You don’t need to come down to Montreal.” “Yes, Dad. I’m fine.” “No, Dad. I don’t know where their penises have been.” “Yes, Dad. I know about STDs.” “Dad, I’m sure their semen is fine.” “Yes, Dad. I know I’m making bad life decisions.”

This routine, and conversation, repeated itself multiple times over the next week. I had dozens of friends, strangers and creeps messaging me to find out more and chastising me for my gross lapse in judgement. Even the security guard at my building recognized me from the article (as he told one

table of contents

Copy Editors Naomi Silver-Vézina

Contributors

News

03

Int. News

05

Arts

07

Voices

09

Sports

12

S.H.C.F

14

Marc-Anthony Cadieux, Zach Silberberg, Joshua Gabert-Doyon, Claire Lecker, Meaghan Westover, Margarita Bozhinova, Joel Chiasson, Laurence Deslauriers-Chouinard, Jesus, Maya Bobrove, Marni Williams, Cory Schneider, Joshua Bateman

of my co-workers) and has now started smiling at me whenever I come in to work. But scandalized as my family was, scandalized as my suburban-bopper high-school-era friends were, scandalized as the interwebz was, I realized something quite valuable. I realized people are prudish assholes. It’s been fascinating to see people squirm, trying to comprehend something, or come to terms with something that makes them so uncomfortable (which is something in itself that baffles me. It’s cum, man, not piss. If stories tell true, I think we can all agree we’ve all had our fair share of a mouth full of man cream at some point in our lives, or, in other words, as Gabe so eloquently started off the article. “who hasn’t had a mouth full of cum at some point of their life? ?”) To see the individual reactions from the young vs. the old, the suburbanites vs. the metropolitans, the

women vs. the men has been fascinating to observe. The entirety of the experience has taught me more than any sociology or psychology class has in the past two years (which may be due to the fact that I’ve skipped too many classes, but for argument’s sake...). Despite the web comments, ranging from getting called a whoremonger (kudos for choice of words there) and hooker, to people calling for everyone involved in the article to be banned from journalism, to people congratulating us on our massive balls, it’s been a fun social experiment, one possibly, at some point, I will come to regret. But as for now, I’m happy with my decision and I would do it all over again in a quick swig of a Macho Mojito. And hey, at the very least, I got a story for the grandkids out of it. Swallow that, h8ters.


Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:58 PM Page 3

3 EDITOR: Sam Nazer CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

Bill 14 controversy

Diane De Courcy addressing a crown of Dawson students

MARGARITA BOZHINOVA STAFF WRITER

The Parti Québécois’s very contested Bill 14 has recently met even more opposition, this time coming from Dawson’s community. The document plans to bring some significant changes with the aim to reinforce the use of the French language, including the establishment of a priority given to Anglophone students in terms of admission in English CEGEPs. Diane De Courcy, current minister of Immigration and Cultural Afffairs and responsible of the French Language

Charter, was invited to Dawson on Monday in order to conduct a dialogue with the students and hear their concerns about the controversial Bill. The conference started with a short presentation of the document and its roots. De Courcy pointed out the importance of the Francophones’ right to live in French in the current double status situation, in which Francophones are a majority in Quebec, but a minority in North America. “Anglophone colleges were created for Anglophones. Francophone students will still have the choice of going to Anglophone colleges,” declared De Courcy, insisting upon the fact that the bill is not taking away that right from the francophone and the allophone stu-

Photo Credit:frrole.com/

dents. The presentation was followed by a question and answer period, which included some poignant exchanges. “Don’t you think that a completely bilingual province is an advantage for Quebec?” asked Maria Rodriguez, a student from the Law, Society and Justice program. De Courcy answered that while cultural diversity is an important asset for the province, French is the non-negotiable common language. “I understand that you are against discrimination by origin, but linguistic separation is caused by the protection of the language. At some point, we have to organize socially in order to protect it,” she added.

Several students expressed the concern that the measure may be a disadvantage for Francophones. “If all the spaces in anglophone colleges are filled and there’s no room for francophones, I’ll be fine. I’m bilingual. Anglophones will get the jobs,” said North-South studies student Sara Charron. Bienvenue, a student group opposed to the bill, presented a petition signed by approximately 300 students in the last week. The minister told the group that their petition was late, but that she would still present it, “for the sake of democracy.” “Her reaction was questionable, considering this is only a student petition,” the group stated. They promise that Bienvenue will follow the way things go

and, if needed, will increase their efforts of campaigning against the bill. Dawson’s Director General, Richard Filion, inquired about some issues that he had also presented at the National Assembly last week, namely the argument that has been used by the PQ in the last few years, which states that attending college in English results in a language transfer. Another concern expressed in the brief presented to the National Assembly by Filion and the Fédération des cégeps’ president, Jean Beauchesne, is the introduction of a French Second Language Exit Test, which is expressed as being an unnecessary burden.

Sustainable Development JOSHUA GABERT-DOYON STAFF WRITER

Co-operative Project Three students from the Universidad Pedagogica Nacional in Ayala, Mexico are working with Dawson students this week as part of a sustainable development project. Dawson student Gabrielle Caron travelled to Mexico earlier this spring to work on five ecological sustainability projects at the UPN campus in Ayala, some 120 km south of Mexico City. The joint project was focused on exchanging

knowledge and cultural wealth between the two communities. “It's all about sharing knowledge, sharing our culture, and being sustainable,” says Caron. A Satellite Dish and Cacti “The original plan was that I was going to go to Ayala campus and help them create a medicinal garden. So I packed my bags, was all ready, we took the plane, and the first day I was there [...] I quickly understood that it wasn't only going to be a medicinal garden,” says Caron, a third-year Community Recreation Leadership Training student who worked on the project as part of her final internship. Caron ended up working on five different projects at the

campus. “They had this huge satellite dish that had been sitting there for I don’t know how many weeks, and they were just waiting to throw it in the trash, and one of the students decided to rescue it and make it useful. So they ended up taking compost that was ready to be used, he put all the good compost into the satellite dish, and then this other girl brought radish seeds and the next thing you know, you could see the radishes starting to grow in the satellite dish,” Caron says, explaining one of the projects she worked on in Ayala. Caron says she was surprised by the initiative of the students: “The way they

work there, they don’t need to go through teachers or the administration to see if they’re allowed to do certain things, they just do. They don’t need to ask, their school is theirs, and i’ts like everyone’s so they’re welcome to do whatever they want, especially if its for something positive.” Another project Caron worked on doubled the size of the UPN cactus garden. “One girl was like, ‘I really know cacti, I really know how to work with cactus’,” says Caron. “So they went out to the forest, they harvested their own cacti and they brought it to school and just planted their own cactus.” Dawson Earth Week Presentations and workshops about

sustainability and the project are scheduled for Dawson’s Earth week celebrations. Caron’s workshop on self-watering containers drew a good turnout on Tuesday. The three university students from Ayala will be staying in Montreal ten days. Collaboration between Dawson and UPN will continue this summer and the project is looking for Dawson students to travel to Mexico as interns. The internship will consist of similar sustainable development projects on campus, although it will not be restricted to gardening. Students who are interested should contact Gisela Frias in 4D. 22-2.

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:58 PM Page 4

4 VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

EDITOR: Sam Nazer CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

Share the Warmth LAURA LECLERC & YASMEEN AYESH CONTRIBUTORS

On the corner of Wellington and Fortune St. Located in South-West Montreal, Share the Warmth is an organization with the mission to “awaken hopes and dreams,” established in 1989. Share the Warmth is a safe environment that has services including a women’s group, a food bank and music lessons. The community-based organization receives an average of a 100 volunteers a week with the ability to feed and clothe over 4,000 people per month. In addition, Share the Warmth offers a tutoring program Friday afternoons. “The kids are receiving the education but they are not receiving the support,” says Anna Schillgalies, the coordinator of the youth programs. Schillgalies began working at the organization because of her love for education. “I went backpacking through South America and I was working in an orphanage in Peru,” she says. “When I came to Canada I started teaching.” Schillgalies has a degree in education. Every week students bring their

homework, past exams and projects to go over with the tutors. “Students can learn from role models who are nor a parent or a teacher,” Schillgalies says. “The tutors are also students.” Without volunteers, Share the Warmth could never function. “A community organization can only work if the community gives in,” Schillgalies says. “It is something we all believe in. We give countless hours and sometimes lose track of time. We need help because it is the only way we can have such a wonderful organization.” The organization relies on students and volunteers for the tutoring program. Current location on Wellington and Fortune St. “Can you help me?” asks a small boy working on spelling. Schillgalies patiently assists the boy as he tries to finish his worksheet. The energetic boy has trouble staying focused but Schillgalies motivates him to stay on track. After a few tries, the boy completes his worksheet without any mistakes. “These kids have the possibilities,” says Schillgalies. “They just need to be reminded.” Students are encouraged to help out at the organization. “I hope to think that the volunteers give their time because it is something they believe in,” says Schillgalies. “Some of them do it because they need community service

hours but I hope they have a real enjoyment for the youth.” Fiona Crossling, Share the Warmth’s Executive Director, spends countless hours making sure the programs run smoothly. “We have programs in different areas. There are some that are community based—things like the second-hand shop and the food bank have certain schedules to be followed— it’s a real smorgasbord!” As Share the Warmth continues to grow, it is extremely common to find volunteers ranging from ages 12 to 60. Benefactors like the Montreal Harvest and various restaurants and bakeries help keep Share the Warmth’s food shelves stocked. However, just like any center or foundation, Share the Warmth experiences some rough patches— though it isn’t anything they cannot handle! “We’ve started this year with another food drive in the Fall, and we are going to be doing one this Spring,” Crossling says. “We need lots of volunteers for that because right now, we’re living off the food that we’ve collected in December—which is running out very quickly.” One of the many characteristics that make Share the Warmth the affable and inspiring organization that it is today are its programs and what they have to

C.A.L.L. Festival SARINE MOUMDJIAN PRODUCTION MANAGER

The annual C.A.L.L. (Creative Arts, Literature, Languages) Festival will be running from April 22 to May 10, and will be celebrating the achievements of C.A.L.L. students with a total of 30 events. Their academic and creative work will be available to the Dawson community to enjoy throughout the three last weeks of school. The festival’s coordinator Laura Mitchell organizes the festival to showcase all the hard work and talent that the students continuously devote themselves to. The festival has already kicked off with an exhibition and a S.P.A.C.E. event. April 25, there will also be a S.P.A.C.E. Vernissage called The Human Body Exhibition at the Warren G. Flowers Gallery, 4001 de Maisonneuve Ouest. Students will also be reading ballads and sonnets at Oliver’s from 12:00-2:00 on April 30. The Literature Profile Academic Conference, organized by Liana Bellon will be taking place May 1 and May 3 in 5B.13 from 12:00-2:00. Twelve students will be presenting their essays in a conference, where the audience is invited to ask questions and interact with the speakers. On May 1, students will be hosting the XXVII Visual Arts Vernissage in the 5C Corridor from 5:30-7:30. The exposition will be going on until May 8. On May 2, there will be a Tea Cere-

mony, calligraphy, a paper-cutting demo and workshop, and a dance performance in Conrod’s during the day. From 6:00-10:00 an Arts and Culture Gala will be hosted, as well as an exhibition with many paintings, sculptures, performances and readings at 5B.16. Students can enjoy an open mic event at Conrod’s during the same time. If students cannot make it during this day, the open mic will still be available on May 3. Students will also be reading original work on May 6 at 4C.1 from 12:00-2:00 and poetry slam session will be available at Oliver’s from 6:00-8:00. Radio Noir will be taking place from

4:00-5:00 and installations, screenings, and performances will take place on May 7 at 5B.16 right after, starting at 6:00. On May 8, there will be a dance performance in the lower atrium at 10:30, and New School will be performing at 8B at 7:00 p.m. The performance costs $5, and if students miss it, they can also catch it on May 9 and 10. On the last day of the festival, dance students will be performing in the lower atrium at 9:00 a.m. and there will be a media night at the Dawson Theatre at 7:00 p.m. For more information about the festival, visit call-festival.com.

The New leader of the Liberal Party of Canada

offer to their participants. “We often say that we seek to feed the body, mind and spirit,” Crossling says with a smile. “We have students that have come to our programs and later become tutors themselves,” Crossling says proudly. “We try to really stimulate our kids to move on, stay in school and develop a dream for their future. It’s not just about giving to people, but also about becoming part of that circle.”

Photo Credit:frrole.com/

Share the Warmth’s coordinators and volunteers strive to see the participants succeed. “The moment when a child doesn’t feel judged or labeled,” Schillgalies says. “They will pass because they have worked hard and they deserve it. There is nothing greater than seeing a child accomplish. It's a genuine smile.”

Raising awareness BARBARA MADIMENOS CONTRIBUTOR

In recent years, eating disorders have been on the rise amongst young children. An average of 30% of people in North America suffer from some form of eating disorder, most prominently females, yet 10% of those who do suffer are male. Eating disorders have not been researched enough to exactly pinpoint the real cause as to how one would develop one, thus resulting in misconceptions of as to why someone would be preoccupied with food and weight. The typical stereotype is that young adolescent girls develop such tendencies for they wish to look like a runway model, due to the fact society’s perception of beauty is to be skinny. However, this isn’t the case, and the misunderstanding and lack of studies that have been done in order to gather enough information in order to help those that are suffering is in dire need. It is sad to say, but everyone, in some way or another, is affected by mental illness — whether it is through a friend or family member, or the actual sick individual, mental illnesses are more common than one would imagine, and just as deadly as any other illness. Sadly, on Jan. 1, Lea Grey, a student

at Dawson College, passed away due to an eating disorder. Taken aback by the tragic loss of a daughter, sister, and friend, Lea’s family has collaborated an event to set awareness on just how severe eating disorders can be, and that spreading awareness is the only way to educate people in order for action to be subsequently taken. Their goal is to have people be more conscious of the effects of mental illness as well as improve the designated services that people with such illnesses need, as well as support the families that suffer as well. With this initiative in mind, Lea’s family has created an event to raise funds for research in which will support The Douglas Mental Health Institute, as well as the Montreal Children’s Hospital Guildman building for adolescents. The event will take place at Gallery Gora in Montreal, located on 279 Sherbrooke West, on the 27th of April. The event will consist of a cocktail party with music, entertainment, guest speakers as well as raffles. To purchase a ticket, please go to www.inleashonor.eventbrite.ca If unable to attend the event, yet still wish to donate to this important cause, visit www.fondationduchildren.comécollecteéhonneur To learn more of the event, visit the Facebook page In Lea’s Honor.

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:58 PM Page 5

5 EDITOR: Devon Walcott CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

Boston bombing suspect in custody DEVON WALCOTT INTERNATIONAL NEWS EDITOR

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, 19 Photo Credit: metro

Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26 Photo Credit: metro

Suspects in last week’s fatal bombing at Boston’s marathon have been identified as Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarneav, after an extensive investigation by the FBI and Boston police. Dzhokhar Tsarneav, 19, is in FBI custody, and his brother Tamerlan, 26, was killed in a gun battle with police. Shortly after the bombings, the brothers fled metropolitan Boston, where they killed an MIT police officer. Dzhohkar is said to be answering questions in hospital via notepad, as he cannot speak due to a throat wound. Dzhokhar reportedly attempted to kill himself in the boat he’d been hiding in following his brother’s death. The young man says that he and his brother were motivated by American/NATO wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Dzhokhar, who has been sedated for the past few days, is said to be responding well to treatment and is expected to pull through. The Department of Justice has decided to charge Tsarnaev with “Using Weapons of Mass Destruction”, a serious federal offence that can carry the death

sentence. American broadcast media were also the centre of much attention in past days. Confusion of over false stories was embarrassing for major syndicated network CNN, who claimed in an exclusive report that the FBI had a suspect in custody, when in fact no arrest had been made. Media was in a blitz following the bombing, and the Internet was also lost in the confusion. People following the story since the initial blast took it upon themselves to analyze Youtube uploads and news footage, trying to identify bombers. Several people were falsely accused, including Sunil Tripathy, who has been missing for some time and feared dead. When news emerged that the bombers were native of Chechnya, many on the Internet began attacking Czech Republic web sites and Facebook pages. Petr Gandalovic, the Czech Republic’s ambassador to the US, was naturally keen to clear up the confusion. “As more information on the origin of the alleged perpetrators is coming to light, I am concerned to note in the social media a most unfortunate misunderstanding in this respect,” he said in a statement. “The Czech Republic and Chechnya are two very different entities — the Czech Republic is a Central European country; Chechnya is a part of the Russian Federation.”

West, TX explosion MINA MAZUMDER STAFF WRITER A fertilizer plant explosion in Texas killed about 70 victims on April 17. The explosion, which measured 2.1 on the Richter magnitude scale, occurred last Wednesday night in West, Texas at 7 p.m. local time at the West Fertilizer Company storage and distribution. It has killed approximately 70 people and injured about 160 individuals, including first responders who were struggling to help victims during the incident. The explosive chaos could be heard from the area of Waxahachie, 70 kilometres to the north of West. An extremely dangerous substance, ammonium nitrate, was found at the location of the incident which may have been the cause, according to officials. As of 11 p.m., the main fire was under control by authorities but residents were told to remain indoors because of future threats of explosions or leaks of ammonia from the plant’s debris. The residents of West have experienced the worst industrial accident in American history. In the hours after the explosion, many residents walked around the dark windy streets looking for shelter. Many buildings, including homes and schools, were destroyed, and the search-andrescue operation is still in process as they continue to search for survivors, according to the Texas Department of Public Safety. More than 160 individuals were evacuated from a local nursing home by the time of

the explosion since the fire was considered a risk. About 100 victims were treated at Hillcrest Baptist Medical Center in Waco, where five people had intensive care. Other victims were sent to Providence Health Center in Waco, Texas. Debby Marak, a religion teacher, was finishing her class when she noticed a large amount of smoke from an area near the fertilizer plant. Marak said that she drove over to acknowledge what was happening but two boys came back screaming that the authorities ordered everyone to evacuate because of the explosion that was about to happen. She stated that she had driven only a block with her car when the blast occurred. “It was like being in a tornado. Stuff was flying everywhere. It blew out my windshield. It was like the whole Earth shook,” Marak said. By midnight, workers from 30 fire departments brought the blaze at the West Fertilizer Company plant under all control, although they feared that a second fertilizer tank might explode. Authorities continued to evacuate residents since they were concerned about the toxic fumes that came from the factory. According to the authorities, the injuries were mostly broken bones, bruises, lacerations, respiratory distress and a few minor burns and head injuries. United States President Barack Obama said that his administration was keeping in touch with medical services during the incident. “West is a town that many Texans hold near and dear to their hearts, and as residents continue to respond to this tragedy, they will have the support of the American people,” stated Obama. The

crews of American Red Cross came to the scene to help the victims of the tragedy. Red Cross spokeswoman Anita Foster informed authorities that their group came to West to work with emergency management officials in order to find a safe shelter for residents who lost their homes.

Amateur footage Photo Credit: thestar.com

RBC woes

Gord Nixon, RBC’s CEO

JOSHUA GABERT-DOYON STAFF WRITER

The Royal Bank of Canada (RBC) has published a formal apology following their decision to replace 45 Canadian employees with temporary foreign workers. Bank employees in Toronto have been training workers from India to take over their positions within IT system support. The bank has been heavily criticized since a CBC report revealed the outsourcing measure on 6 April. “External suppliers with the right skills allow us to introduce new efficiencies, continually improve our service at reduced cost and reinvest in initiatives that enhance the client experience,” RBC announced in a recent statement. Gord Nixon, President and Chief Executive Officer of RBC, promised to give the replaced Canadian workers “comparable job opportunities” in the bank’s apology published in major newspapers across the country. Most of the temporary foreign workers are being trained for the eventual move of the majority of the bank’s IT department to India, says RBC spokesperson Rina Cortese. RBC reported record profits in 2012, bringing in $7.5 billion. iGATE The workers were brought over by the American company iGATE, which charges the bank $69 600 per year per foreign worker, according to CBC’s Go Public program. The workers themselves, however, are paid $63 000 a year while working in Canada, well below the standard wage for a Canadian IT worker, who brings in between $80 000 and $100 000 for the same work, according to CBC.

Photo Credit: CBC

iGATE involvement in the country was affirmed by the federal government, who gave the company a positive labor market opinion (LMO), indicating that the company is hiring foreign workers because there are no Canadians “available to do the job.” Temporary Worker Program The scandal has raised questions about the Canadian government’s expansion of the Temporary Foreign Worker Program: Quebec has seen its number of temporary foreign workers increase by 70% since 2008. Prime Minister Steven Harper has said he is planning on enacting reforms to the Temporary Foreign Worker Program. A follow-up report done by the CBC raises further concerns about iGATE’s activities in Canada. A former temporary foreign worker who was employed at RBC said that iGATE’s “rotation policy” meant that workers were constantly threatened with the idea of being sent back to India, which ensured that the workers “don’t get settled here.” CIBC, TD and BMO have also engaged in similar outsourcing practices, often having Canadian workers train foreign ones before they are replaced, according to the CBC report. “Slacktivism” Facebook groups criticizing the bank’s decision have emerged, although RBC’s stocks have yet to see a significant drop in value. Barry Waite, professor of corporate public relations at Centennial College, says that the public’s anger towards RBC has been reduced to “slacktivism”: people may demonstrate protest online by sharing pictures and posting status, but are unlikely to do much more than that. “Anyone can like a Facebook page,” Waite says, “but at the end of the day, are they going to go down to a rally? Are they going to write their member of Parliament?"

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:58 PM Page 6

6 VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

EDITOR: Devon Walcott CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

Post-secondary education in 2013 RYAN BROMSGROVE THE GATEWAY

EDMONTON (CUP) — As I head out the door after three years of writing for The Gateway, I’m going to leave you with one piece of advice amid the budget cuts: exercise a little caution. Every time you say, “these cuts are about ensuring we don’t have an educated populace,” “post-secondary enriches lives” or the like, consider the flipside — that these statements imply those who choose not to go to university are uneducated, unenriched and unenlightened. The old lie is: “if you want a good job, you have to go to university.” This sentiment is so pervasive in our society, but it makes enormous assumptions around what a “good” job is: academic or specialized careers aside, we’re talking white-collar work with middleclass range pay. It’s not a trade — the sentiment makes outright derogatory, classist assumptions about the trades. Your former peers land a job in construction or welding, and while they’re making more money than you for now, at least you’re not getting your hands dirty. The idea is you slog through your degree for four years while working minimum wage jobs and emerge with a piece of paper entitling you to a salary now the envy of your former peers. Then at some point we tell ourselves that rather than merely being about getting that “good job,” we all are committing ourselves to the enlightened values of higher learning for its own sake and being a well-rounded more-educated member of society better ready to deal with the issues of the day. Again, you really have to ask yourself what the average Albertan who didn’t go to university thinks of that attitude — that you’re better educated and better able to engage in the political process. Maybe the facts are true, but

People protesting

Photo Credit: Dan McKecknie

The old lie is: “if you want a good job, you have to go to university.”

the statement devalues. Especially when you combine it with the always-present idea that smart people vote NDP and dumb people vote Conservative, and how stupid was the province for electing additional for righter-wing Wildrose MLAs last year? Universities are a place where students can flourish, but those who didn’t go to university discovered that they did just fine after all — many probably financially better than some of their graduating peers by the time they get out. The end result: these people don’t

see university as essential, so of course they don’t care about cuts. Add in all the subtle attacks, and you have a populace not exactly receptive to your cause. The thing I’ve despised the most over the last few years in watching student movements is the complete lack of respect for opposing views that sometimes emerges. Lip service is paid to the value of debate and discussion, but all too often those pushing for a cause do so from a position of already being right, and if they could only educate you,

you’d be compelled to agree with them — if you disagree, you’re doing so from a place of ignorance, and it is their duty to enlighten you to the truth. Both in the responses to these cuts and the Occupy debacle last year, I’ve seen numerous protestors express their dismay that some students “still” dare to consider that post-secondary education is not a right for example. Arguing one way or the other is fine, but pretending that this is a settled question does nothing to foster healthy debate — instead it draws lines. You’re

with us or without us. They welcome everyone’s ideas, unless you disagree with them. I’ve disagreed with many, many people over my time at The Gateway — but I hope it’s been clear that I nevertheless respect that disagreement. I can hate your politics and think you’re wrong, but I don’t think you’re stupid for being, say, liberal any more than if you were conservative. Rational people can come to different conclusions — and sometimes this doesn’t stem from a flaw in logic, but different value judgements. As long as a value judgement isn’t inherently and obviously abhorrent, the point of debate and discussion shouldn’t be about educating your idiot opponent, but figuring out how they came to their conclusion, considering their reasons and foundations and appealing to them to consider yours. You’ll do a lot more convincing if you don’t assume the people to whom you’re talking are dumb. Rational people have come to the conclusion that we have to cut post-secondary funding, and rational Albertans either support it, or don’t consider the question important enough to do anything about it. If you like what universities do and see the cuts as harmful, it’s your duty to be their ambassadors in times of drastic cuts. Instead of vilifying the government, oil companies, corporations and whatever other convenient target you may find, treat regular Albertans like they aren’t all lower class conservative redneck hick scum peons of the system who weren’t smart enough to go to university. Don’t make this about cartoon supervillain Alison Redford hating education. Make this a real dialogue about the place of post-secondary in our society and whether the cuts will cause harm to that place. You can still do this through protest, and to their credit, many protesters are approaching this carefully, but every loud voice wanting to turn this into a revolution undoes the work of ten trying to find a real solution.

Social approval a factor in PTSD BILLY-RAY BELCOURT THE GATEWAY EDMONTON (CUP) — The mental health of soldiers may be linked to social morality — a connection researchers from the U of A say reveals the detrimental impacts of some hasty government decisions. The study, co-authored by David Webber, Erick Faucher, Jeff Schimel, Andy Martens and Joseph Hayes, demonstrated that returning soldiers often look to the general public to assess whether their actions abroad are socially accepted or rejected. According to the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) resource website, Heal My PTSD, 20 per cent of military person-

nel returning from the Middle East have PTSD — a severe anxiety disorder triggered by psychologically traumatic experiences. Webber and his colleagues developed an experiment involving university undergraduate students where they tested the students’ propensity to kill insects depending on three distinct conditions: the presence of social validation, social invalidation or no support or disagreement at all. As they anticipated, Webber said students displayed and reported more stress and guilt when their actions were challenged and overtly frowned upon by a confederate — an actor employed by the researchers — with opposite results occurring when their actions were accepted. Although their research did not clinically focus on PTSD or veterans, Webber noted

the aspect of killing based on social morality can translate to soldiers returning from war — a correlation Webber suggested clinicians and other experts may not actually consider because of their tendency to attribute actions to internal motives and causes. “Our research shows that the way you actually experience [PTSD] is dependent on what the people around you feel. So if you’re going to experience guilt from something you’re going to look for other people to tell you if [what you’ve done is] right or wrong,” he said. “So clinicians should consider … the actual greater social environment and … the state of support for the war to help them understand what it is that’s troubling actual soldiers.” Webber explained the extent of social

acceptance for a war plays an immense role in the degree to which soldiers experience PTSD. When people consider a war to be illegitimate and not based on concrete evidence, Webber said social invalidation typically takes the form of war protests — a sign of social disapproval that reflects the insecure objectives of the government. “If members of Canada or the US are avidly protesting a war, that’s a clear sign of invalidation for a soldier which would potentially put them at a greater risk for psychological harm,” he said. “If wars are based more on irrational fears or insecurities, and the decisions aren’t based in hard evidence, those are the situations where as time at war continues and passes, the public will catch wind of that and they will disapprove of what’s

happening and protests will ensue.” Faucher, one of Webber’s colleagues, is hopeful that further studies based on the premise used in their experiment will reveal additional information on the link between heroic-like killings and social validation, and whether that has any influence on a soldier’s mental health. “We would like to see whether we could continue using this bug-killing paradigm to examine whether participants would feel heroic or perhaps gain self-esteem if the bugs are portrayed as villains,” he said. “For example, framing the bugs as ‘evil’ and as something that needs to be annihilated often gives people doing the exterminating, and those endorsing the exterminating, a sense of significance and pride — [for example], the murdering of Osama Bin Laden.”

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:58 PM Page 7

7 VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

EDITOR: MJ Cromp CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

Sentimental Maine MARCO GALLUCCIO STAFF WRITER

Considered to be one of the most famous writers in Canada, Johanna Skibsrud presented her debut novel to students last Friday as part of the Dawson Reading Series. “I began writing my novel, The Sentimentalists, in 2003, while studying at Concordia for a Master of Arts in creative writing,” Skibsrud said. She published her book four years later and that is when her writing career began to flourish. Skibsrud is the youngest author to win the Scotiabank Giller Prize, which she won in 2010 for The Sentimentalists. After discussing a brief autobiography, Skibsrud explained her inspiration for writing her novel. “Most of my writing begins from a unique moment, like a photograph,” she said. This allows her to

remember the experience and write about her emotions throughout the book. “I also like taking dreams and putting them into a concrete reality,” she said. “But the idea of The Sentimentalists came to mind when I had a revelation while canoeing in Maine.” This explains why the setting was inspired by Flagstaff Lake. Skibsrud continued to explain the difficulty she experienced during the writing and editing of the book. “I used to think if I can write 10 pages a day, it will stack up,” she said. “I thought novel writing was easy, but I quickly regretted saying that.” “The editing stage is a crucial and necessary process in writing a novel,” admitted Skibsrud, while reading a section of her book. “During editing, I saw my novel reduce by half, then later, another half,” she said. The editor gave great criticism when reading her book, including one important scene when the main character and her father are on a boat. “My editor suggested that I should add a key element, an image,

that would tie everything together,” she said. “I decided to use the image of Napoleon creating a boat, which reoccurs throughout the story.” This editing procedure was very important in the eyes of Skibsrud. “Nothing you scrap away is wasted,” she said, referring to reducing the length of her book. “It’s all a learning process, in which all writers have to go through.” “When I was a small kid, I was always affected by the storybooks my mom would read to me,” she said in response to a question about her inspiration. “When I decided I wanted to write, as a career, my mother was very supportive, which was extremely helpful.” Skibsrud left the audience with some advice that she discovered during her writing career. “I was often told there were more practical considerations than writing, but I decided to listen solely to what I think was right for me,” she said. “I also dealt with rejection when submitting poems, but you have to pick yourself back up.”

Vikings Landing In MTL

Skibsrud at the Scotiabank Giller Prize Award

Artists In Bloom MALCOLM PINNELL STAFF WRITER

Photo credit: The Wild Hunt’s Facebook

Cool dudes being cool

KEVIN COUGHLIN COLLABORATOR

Montreal-based band The Wild Hunt delivers an authentic and diverse Viking metal sound, based on the Scandinavian metal music style. "We play melodic Viking death metal," said lead singer, lyricist and Dawson student, Tony De Frenza. Their self-titled EP “The Wild Hunt” is ambitious. It blends a lot of musical subgenres into one single style of music. For many, that may be too much to handle, yet this EP manages to cram them all into four tracks. “Our music is influenced by the Bathory and Amon Amarth with a splash

The mysterious logo...

of Ensifreum,” De Frenza said. The first song in the EP, also called “The Wild Hunt”, kicks off the album with a crushing blackened guitar riff that only slightly overshadows the keyboard. The style of guitar played throughout the entire album is fairly consistent. They have a black metal feel from the guitar that is indicative of the Bathory influence yet with solos that are played more like conventional rock ones. The melodic death elements are not muted by the dark sounds of black metal. Instead the music takes a lighter tone with more of a focus on sword and sorcery themes. Although there are no bright and cheery power metal tunes on the EP, the inclusion of one probably wouldn't have seemed too out of place.

Photo credit: thewildhunted.bandcamp.com

“Voyage To Valhalla” quietly leads into a really impressive sound, yet the song opens with whispered vocals over minimal instrumentals that don't really match the intensity of the rest of the album. Even if the intro to the song is the weakest part of the EP, the second half would still make any metal fan want to mosh and really does sound excellent. The final song, “Hymn Of The North”, is a great end to the whole album. Starting at a heavy slower tempo, it gradually picks up. Head bangers and air guitar players will enjoy the heavy riffs and guitar solos. The vocals are a solid mix of extreme metal styles. De Frenza is capable of doing deep death growls, while still favouring a raspy higher pitched tone for the majority of their songs. In a few tracks, he demonstrates his chops by switching back and forth between vocal styles throughout the songs. The vocals sometimes lack enunciation, but by death metal standards, they aren't bad. Overall, this is a great first release for a cool local band. Although it does have moments where it can be a bit unimpressive, the EP itself is surprisingly successful at taking all its different influences and combining them into single songs. This album should satisfy anyone who likes their melodic Viking death metal music and even those who just want to hear something new. The Wild Hunt is playing April 27 at the Piranha bar on Saint-Catherine Street to celebrate the release of the new EP.

Photo credit: arts.nationalpost.com

On April 18, Dawson College hosted the 16th annual Artists in Bloom event, a fundraiser for both medical causes and Dawson art students. The event is associated with the Cedar Cancer Foundation, the Trauma Department of the Montreal General, and the St. Mary’s Hospital Foundation, while CTV News anchorman Paul Karwatsky hosts the auction. Organizers recruit 25 student artists from both the Fine Arts and Illustration programs at Dawson. They are then given from six to eight o’clock to each create one impressive piece of work, which will be auctioned off later on in the evening. “I don’t know how they work so quickly under pressure,” said Mark Laroche, a first-time spectator at the event. What made this year unique was the inclusion of three digital artists. They each created 10 signed, limited copies of their pieces. Mary DiLiello, coordinator of student development at Student Affairs, said that paintings often sell for high prices so the $50 copies are often very appealing. “They give people something to go home with,” she said. Social Science student David Morlow

I’ll give you a thousand bucks!

explained that for him, it is simply fascinating to watch the computer artists work. “One hand on the keys and one on the tablet,” he said. As the evening went on, more and more viewers gathered to gawk at the pieces as they progressed. Occasionally viewers asked questions of the artists who were graceful in answering the question before getting right back to work. Karine Lalonde, who came after seeing the poster in the Dawson hallways, said that seeing an artist physically working on their piece in front of the viewer makes the viewer feel that much more connected to the works of art. “That’s why they must be so successful in the auction,” she said. “We do really well with this event,” DiLiello said. “Between ticket sales, revenue from art sales, and bar sales, we make about $10,000 a year.” There is also a raffling of three event posters, created by the Illustration and Design students. DiLiello said that the Illustration and Design students submit designs for the poster and the five strongest go before a committee, where the winner is chosen. Ultimately, Artists in Bloom is not a competition between the artists but a largescale collaboration. “It’s just nice to see all of these students working together,” said Nancy Burkhart, who has been attending the event for three years now. “It’s refreshing.”

Photo credit: My Dawson College’s Facebook

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:59 PM Page 8

8 VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

EDITOR: MJ Cromp CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

Not-So-Cheap Eats MARCO GALLUCCIO STAFF WRITER

The sun is shinning, yesyesyesyesyes, FUCK YES NO MORE RAIN. Yes, I am a cat and I hate the rain. Eck. SOAK UP YOUR VITAMINS, BABEHS <3

1 tsp of zest from orange or grapefruit 3 tbsp balsamic vinegar 3 tbsp olive oil 1 tbsp agave nectar or honey salt and pepper

Orange you happy you woke up? 1-cup carrot juice, from concentrate 1 large orange ½ a banana ice cubes

Cut up the cabbage, dice the grapefruit, pepper and onion. Toss. Then, juice the grapefruit or orange and grate its skin to get about a tsp of zest. Add the juice, zest, vinegar, oil, honey, salt and pepper in a small bowl and whisk. Pour over the salad and toss again. Serves 4-5 large

Place all in blender until smooth. Note: Start your mornings with this baby and you’ll be on a sunshine high. Trust me. You’ll shine brighter than the flippin’ sun. People will have to wear sun block near you, super star ;D Brighty slaw 1 red cabbage head 1 red or orange pepper 1 grapefruit ¾ small onion 1 grapefruit or orange

Note: Lettuce, cabbage, leafy greens are quite well priced now, as well as citrus fruit. I know a lot of people link lettuce and/or cabbage with silly diets, but they can be eaten in tasty ways if one knows what to pair them with! A veggie is a veggie, so whether it has a bad rap or not, versatility is the key to enjoying a wide variety of foods. Enjoy the sunshiiiiiine <3 OJ

Photo credit: lifesimplyfabulous.com

Corporations and Hipsters

Smile bro

Photo credit: The Play’s Facebook Event

“Shakespeare’s probably rolling over in his grave,” exclaimed Dawson Theatre Collective (DTC) member Zachary Manocchi, in reference to the upcoming DTC show Hamlette: The Melancholy Dame, a caustic satire of Shakespeare’s most enduring work. The DTC is a group dedicated to the annual production of a student-centric

play. Members range from students who have a burning passion for theatre to students who just want to test the theatrical waters. Every spring, the DTC puts on a show, usually co-written by director-cumEnglish teacher Ann Lambert and several students and alumni. Between rehearsing lines, designing sets and costumes, script editing, and publicizing, the DTC offers a wide variety of opportunities for students eager to participate in theatre. In this reworked “murder-mystery musical”, the Crown of Denmark is replaced

SAM SHULMAN STAFF WRITER

by DanaPharm, the world’s largest manufacturer of erectile dysfunction pills. With the untimely death of CEO Hamlet Sr., the company is thrown into turmoil. However, a ghostly visitation from the late CEO reveals some disturbing information about his death. Seeking truth and vengeance for her father’s foul murder, Hamlette begins asking such questions as: who really killed Hamlet Sr.? What was he trying to hide? To be or not to be? Lampooning everything from corporate business to hipsters (and that is a wide spectrum), Hamlette: The Melancholy Dame offers a satirical but critical perspective on both the original play and our modern world. The DTC has promised a wide variety of musical numbers, jaw-dropping moments, sexual euphemisms aplenty, and even a sword fight. Based on the success of their previous shows, there is no doubt that the DTC will deliver the goods. Show times for Hamlette: The Melancholy Dame are Thursday May 2 at 7:30 p.m., Friday May 3 at 2:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m., and Saturday May 4 at 7:30 p.m. For tickets, please email hamlette2013@hotmail.com or text 438-8388518, specifying the number of tickets, reservation name, and performance date and time. Tickets are $8 for students and seniors (ID required) and $12 general. Purchases must be made in cash between 15 and 45 minutes before show time. All proceeds from this show will go directly to support the Theresa Foundation, which exists to raise funds for grandmothers and their AIDS-orphaned grandchildren in over 20 villages in Malawi. The DTC has a very personal connection to the foundation that ensures that the all money will be delivered directly. For more information, please visit www.theresafoundation.com. If you want to know more about the program or if you are interested in joining next year, don’t hesitate to visit the DTC Club Space in 2C.11.

Located in the Pepsi Forum at 2313 Ste Catherine Street, Pekarna, a café-bistro, is certainly the place to kickback and enjoy a fresh pastry. “We chose to call the café Pekarna because it means bakery in Slovenian,” said Sonia Balazic, manager of the café. When I first walked into the café, I noticed immediately that the décor brought a homey feeling to the ambience. Two televisions were hanging on the walls, which showed pictures of their wedding cakes. “We wanted to show our ability to cater pastries and cakes for bigger crowds and parties,” Balazic said. Lovely chandeliers were dangling from the ceiling, “a new addition to our ongoing renovations,” the manager said. As I waited in line, I couldn’t help but look at the appealing cakes, found in the refrigerated display case. Later on, I noticed the other display case loaded with a variety of desserts and breakfast foods. After a while, I finally decided to eat a brownie, which was wonderful. The frosting was sweet, but not too sweet, just perfect. The brownie was chocolate, but still light enough for a breakfast dessert. The presentation was clean and very delightful, considering it was a small dessert. “The secret is butter,” said client Stéphane Dumoir, pointing at the vanilla cake. “I come here very often, because I like café-bistros, and Pekarna is one of my favourites,” Dumoir said.

While I was eating, I noticed that it was quiet, which allows people to come and eat while working. “I enjoy this café because it is less noisy than other restaurants and very relaxing,” Dumoir said. This is a great factor since they are located across the street from Dawson. I would recommend Pekarna to any student in need of a place to eat and study. The almond roll was another delight that was given as a sample from my teacher. “It is really delightful,” said Camelia Boileau, a Dawson student and new customer to Pekarna. “The dessert has a crunchy exterior and smooth chocolate interior.” After hearing such a comment, I had to taste an almond roll as well. Boileau was right, the dessert just crumbled in my mouth and even for a small dessert, it was a great breakfast. For a first-time customer, the café offers a lot, and makes it necessary for you to come back and taste something new. “I decided to eat here because I found it attractive and neat,” said Jamad Mesfioui, a first-time customer. “I wanted to compare the breakfast to Tim Horton’s because that is where I usually eat.” Mesfioui said his egg and cheese tasted fresher than Tim Horton’s, and his coffee was better than he expected it to be. “I will certainly come back with friends,” he said. “The reason why everything tastes fresh is because we make 95% of our food from scratch,” Balazic said. Pekarna is a family-run business, which has 20 years of experience in the baking industry. This experience explains the success the family has attained since their opening, 11 years ago.

Visual & Drunk Rhymes THOMAS AHRENS COLLABORATOR

Drunk again at the Golden tavern, Lost again inside those walls, Still drinking at the golden tavern, Until out the doors he crawls.

Mediums of sight My eyes are tired but I am not, My eyes see more than meets the eye. My eyes see more than me or you. My eyes need rest but they can not, My eyes need time to see and cry, These things, my eyes need time to do. My eyes complain about their lot, My eyes have much for which to sigh, My eyes see things that are not true. My eyes, of late, seem quite distraught, My eyes see all, or so they try, And yet my eyes see nothing new. ****** The tavern

While they all drink there they sing, Of most of anything, Where the beer flows like a spring, And every man is king! Drunk again at the Golden tavern, Lost again inside those walls, Still drinking at the golden tavern, Until out the doors he crawls. Drinking still, the dawn is soon, Barely past, its almost noon! Noon sits still through May then June, Stuck inside with the great monsoon! Drunk again at the Golden tavern, Lost again inside those walls, Still drinking at the golden tavern, Until out the doors he crawls. *******

Drunk again at the Golden tavern, Lost again inside those walls, Still drinking at the golden tavern, Until out the doors he crawls. There's never been such disgrace, Amongst the human race. Terrible to leave a place, While crawling on your face!

Empty space Shooting stars are moving cars, Just racing through the sky. Floating clouds are jammed in jars, And we don't hear them sigh. Burning rays from red hot mars Will hardly ever lie.

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:59 PM Page 9

9 VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

EDITOR: Justin Giglio CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

Comfort or conformity ZACH NEUMAN CONTRIBUTOR

I like to be comfortable. Comfort is the feeling of freedom from constraint and pain, which is an enjoyable sensation. Since leaving a high school that required a uniform consisting of suit pants and a polo t-shirt, I have embraced the comfortable feeling by sporting roots sweatpants and various types of short-sleeved cotton t-shirts to school. Although I feel physically comfortable, I cannot help but feel judged by my peers because of my apparently “shlumpy” style. The assumption that an individual who wears sweat suits outside of his house must be lazy and unmotivated is discomforting. As I stated before, I like to be comfortable. Throughout my studies in Dawson College, I have only twice worn jeans to school and I’m not afraid to admit it. In fact, I only wore jeans because of a laundry mishap that left me sweatpant-less. I have been heckled numerous times by my teachers and friends. I’m in English class; it’s the first day of my first semester

at Dawson. At first I notice an unimpressed gaze in my teacher’s eyes; she looks me up and down as if I were a yoyo while raising an eyebrow and pursing her lips. The glance was brief, although the connotations were anything but. As a hard-working Pure and Applied sciences student, my first encounter with judgment startled me and truly hurt my feelings. Does an individual who enjoys feeling comfortable while working deserve to be labeled as apathetic? I think

not. Those who are against me argue that someone who is too lazy to put on nice clothing must be too lazy to do anything productive. Unfortunately, the aforementioned argument is a classic post hoc fallacy. As well, the assumption that all people that wear sweatpants are lazy is a hasty generalization. Perhaps it is sound to say that there are lazy people who too enjoy the comfort felt sitting in a velvety soft pair of sweats, but to label all sweat-

Comfort, dog.

pant wearers as lazy is unmerited. The reason for wearing these not-so-formal clothes lies in the coziness of the soft and loose materials. The warm and euphoric sensation helps me focus on the truly important things in life: my schoolwork. When I am forced to wear rough, rigid, ridiculously uncomfortable jeans, my mind is occupied by the over-stimulated nerve endings scattered all over my legs. How could I be expected to perform in school if I cannot help but grimace

from the anxiety I feel? When I see a person wearing sweatpants and a simple white t-shirt, I see a person who has his priorities straight; this person understands that for his mind to work to full capacity, he should feel relaxed in his clothing. Perhaps if everyone wore sweatpants to school and work, problem-solving skills would increase dramatically as a result of their reduced anxiety. Of course, they would probably be too lazy to go to work, right?

photo credit: tumblr.com

Auschwitz KIANA ALBANESE STAFF WRITER

It was my first vacation to Europe. I expected it to be a once-in-a-lifetime trip with its fantastic architecture, a visit to a small café where Ernest Hemingway was said to be spotted, and a very exciting shopping trip. I was looking for an adventure as amazing as it is told in the movies. Instead I got a serious snapshot of history. It was a cold yet sunny day in Poland during the month of February, the fourth day of our 10-day trip to Eastern Europe with my graduating class of 2012. We all had a very loud and surprising wake-up call at 5:00 a.m. There was no time for breakfast. We had to be on the bus by 6:00 sharp to depart. The bus ended up leaving at 6:15 because it took my best friends and me a little longer to get ready. Little did we know it wasn’t worth getting all dressed-up. After getting a lecture from the teachers and tour guides that it isn’t important to spend a lot of time getting ready (directed at my best friends and me), we found out that today was the day scheduled to visit Auschwitz. Auschwitz was the main and the most torturous concentration camp used by the Nazis in the Second World War to exterminate the Jews. The Jews were treated horribly and lived in conditions so terrible that we can’t imagine them in our worst nightmares. You could hear the sound of a pin drop in our tour bus, as we were all mentally preparing ourselves for what we were about to see. I really wasn’t prepared to

Gates of Auschwitz

go that day. People who know me would say that I’m the most sensitive and emotional person you will ever meet. To prove it, I’m 18-years-old and I still cry at Disney movies.

photo credit: rnw.nl

After a two-and-a-half-hour trip, we finally stepped onto the grounds of Auschwitz. Coming off the bus shaking, I had no idea of what I was going to expect. I had my tissues ready.

We were guided to the opening gates of the camp. Written on the gates in Hebrew was “Work will set you free.” After first reading this, many Jews, at first, believed that this was a welcoming camp, a

camp to bring them to a better life. Little did they know, it wasn’t close to being what they had thought. In the first five minutes of the tour, tears were streaming down my face. We where shown strands of women’s hair, pieces of luggage that still had names painted on them. Three huge rooms filled with shoes that belonged to men, women and children. Torture chambers where “the bad Jews” were held in a room with wooden doors that had scratches of people that wanted out, blood still on the walls. The gas chambers smelled so incredibly awful that I still get goose bumps from today remembering that stench. Thank god I had my tissues next to me because at the end of the tour they were gladly appreciated. As if one concentration camp wasn’t enough, next we visited Birkenau. Almost 20 minutes away from Auschwitz, Birkenau was the second-worst (some people consider it the first) concentration camp in the Second World War. Its nickname was the death camp; you had no chance of survival. So many people were killed that when the Russians came and bombed the gas chambers in Brikenau, people’s ashes were everywhere. The tour guide said we were even walking on some that very day. And again we saw the conditions, no words to describe how horrible they were. Stories so horrible we didn’t even learn in schools. When the trip was over, we had anhour-and-a-half bus ride back to the city. That hour and a half, no one spoke a word, thinking about what we saw that day. We had walked the grounds of history. Photo credit: shengsim.com

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:59 PM Page 10

10 VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

EDITOR: Justin Giglio CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

PowerPointers MEAGHAN WESTOVER STAFF WRITER

The end of the semester is coming up and you’re probably feeling the pressure of final presentations! Usually, these presentations are 15 minutes and a total pain in the ass to do. Last semester was terrible for me because I had four. No joke. Four. Through my misery though I have learned to use PowerPoint like a pro and get these projects over with. So here are some tips and trick on how to make the perfect PowerPoint presentation! 1. Choosing the topic: If you got lucky you might be able to pick your topic. Make sure you choose wisely though and don’t bite off more than you can chew. Last semester I thought it was a fabulous idea to choose Musicals for my Images and Sound final. Someone should have hit me. Try to choose a topic that you are actually interested in or already know a little bit about. I knew nothing about Musicals. Nothing at all. Trust me, I enjoyed working on my Fifty Shades of Grey PowerPoint (don’t ask) a lot more than my Musicals power point. 2. Structure: Before doing anything at all, figure out how you’re going to structure your presentation. What I mean

Welcome!

is think of the topics you’ll cover and organize them so that the PowerPoint will run smoothly and you won’t jump from one topic to another awkwardly. 3. Pretty Colours: If you can’t choose your presentation and you’re forced to do it on Overpopulation (I feel

photo credit: arstechnica.net

ya’), you can still have fun with it. Before doing any research and after you’ve figured out how you’ll structure it, start to build your PowerPoint! Find the prettiest picture you can find and have fun with decorating your slides. Not only will you enjoy looking at it but you’ll also have the

class’s attention when you present it to them. Face it, no one pays attention to a blank screen with some Times writing on it. Boring. 4. Do the research: Make sure you give yourself the time to do your research. You can have a pretty presenta-

tion but still suck balls and get a shitty grade. On a piece of paper, organize what you’ll say during your PowerPoint. You don’t have to write an essay or anything, just give yourself enough information so you’ll go up there and not look like a total tool because you’re either reading everything off your paper or going ugh… I…ugh… I… ugh… I... because you forgot something. The key is to give yourself key points and try to speak to your audience. 5. Finalize: Finally, don’t finish preparing your presentation then shut the lid of your computer and celebrate being finished. No. No. No. You are not finished yet! Make sure to practice your presentation a couple times before going in front of the class. That way you’ll avoid any surprises when you’re nervous as fuck. That’s how to make the perfect PowerPoint presentation! If you’re one of those people who gets totally nervous for these things, don’t sweat it. All you’re doing is sharing your knowledge to a bunch of idiots. Also, they will have to stand in front of everyone too. They feel your pain, and in three weeks no one will remember what you said anyway! Good luck and try to have fun! Do you have an idea for a tip article for me? I’d love to hear from you! horses_4_eva4@hotmail.com

dawson RANTs guest writer JENNIFER SILVER CONTRIBUTOR

I am a 19-year-old student without a full-time job. A dream of mine is to travel and my goal is to save my money and one day use it to explore the world. Many of my peers are in the same situation. However, they have found a way to travel. They do this with someone else’s money! No, they are not using their parents’ money, not birthday money, and not money from an inheritance. They fund their trips using donations from family and friends and they will soon be soliciting you for a charitable contribution. I take issue with the concept of “VolunTourism”. I simply do not find it appropriate for people to ask others to fund their trip to an exotic locale. The worthy experiences that people have on these trips are not the main purpose of the excursion. It is interesting to note that these trips are often located in close proximity to beauti-

ful beaches during peak tanning season. My family gets letters, emails and telephone calls from friends and acquaintances who are asking for financial support for their volunteer missions. My peers rationalize asking others for their support because they just want to help a community in need. I would prefer to direct these people to volunteer work that does not warrant a trip to the airport. Often, the purpose of these trips is to build a wall, a well, or a schoolroom. I often wonder if the most efficient means of providing aid to these communities is by sending over North American teenagers to act as construction workers. If a person will not change the light bulbs in their own home, how can they be trusted to have adequate knowledge of more advanced construction projects? These trip participants should recognize that they are taking away jobs from locals, thereby increasing their dependency on North American assistance. One of my high school contemporaries returned from a community service trip to New Orleans that claimed would build a house after

There are places to volunteer right here in the city

hurricane Katrina struck. Her responsibility was laying down bricks creating the walkway leading to the front door. The organization that sent her struggled to find her this task. She was untrained so this was all they were authorized to do. Her contribution lasted a grand maximum of two afternoons, and for the remainder of her time there, she and the other volunteers took a bus tour, went shopping, and sampled local cuisine. Other trips claim that volunteers will teach English to young children. What qualifies my peers to teach English as a second language? I think we can put that question aside as I am not too worried about any detrimental impact of the projects on the local community. The next time someone asks you to fund their service trip, think about what it truly is: probably just a trip to the beach. Think about all the opportunity for volunteering that exists just beyond our front doors, and encourage them to participate in those activities. Why send them on a holiday when you can use your money to fund a vacation of your own?

How common is it for a girl to queef ? Lately, it’s been happening to me a lot during sex and it’s getting pretty embarrassing. I’m not sure how common it is but I wouldn’t worry about it really. I mean it sucks because it’s not very attractive and you can’t do much about it. It’s not your fault either. It happens because when you’re getting nailed and he pulls out too far he forces in air. Eventually that air needs to escape hence the pussy farts. Just try to laugh.

I’ve always been curious about this. Do guys actually like going down on girls? I honestly don’t know if I can give you a definite answer on this one. It’s the same for girls. Do you actually like giving blowjobs? I’m sure there are guys that go down on ladies like it’s their job and others that try to avoid it as much as possible. However, I’d be more inclined to think that there are more guys that don’t like it.

photo credit: flickr.com

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:59 PM Page 11

11 EDITOR: Justin Giglio CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

Trans rights JOSHUA GABERT-DOYON STAFF WRITER

The notion of gender seems to be changing, though perhaps not as quickly as many hope. DC comics recently introduced the first trans* comic book character in their Batgirl series. Gail Simone, writer of Batgirl, says that she wanted “a character, not a public service announcement … being trans* is just part of her story. If someone loved her before, and doesn’t love her after, well — that’s a shame, but we can’t let that kind of thinking keep comics in the 1950s forever.” I don’t think I need to put statistics to show the challenges trans* (meaning those who identify as either transgender or transsexual) people face. In fact, I think statistics would kind of take away from what is a very real human problem. I’ll say this: those who are trans*, i.e. either pre-gender reassignment surgery (preop, which usually involves hormone replacement therapy) or post-gender reassignment surgery (post-op, that being either a male-to-female or female-to-male switch), find it a lot harder to get jobs, find shelter, or simply make the societal guestlist on a day to day basis. This seems to come down to a combination of a) lack of legal protection (although Canada has been doing pretty well on that front, more about that later) and more importantly b) public perception and attitudes. Straight forward enough; you probably know all this already. I'm by no means a pundit on trans* rights: I'm a straight white male that has to deal with very few of the challenges that trans* individuals have to go through. I first started researching this topic after

A panel from Batgirl

reading an article from The Carillon featured in The Plant a few weeks ago. The article was focused mainly on reviewing the documentary Cruel and Unusual (available in full on YouTube). Cruel and Unusual explores the lives of several trans* convicts, touching on the crimes they committed, the experience they have in prison, and life after their release. A disproportionate percentage of the trans* community goes to prison and unfortunately, the experience they have there is just as bad as you imagine: often, pre-op prisoners are not granted access to hormone treatment, which triggers hormone withdrawal and sometimes reversing progress towards gender reassignment Simone’s attempts to “normalize” the issue through media is really critical: I don't think it would be a stretch of the imagination to say that the appearance of gay and lesbian characters on TV and in movies had a huge part in the public’s acceptance of those with different sexual orientations. Shows like Will and Grace and Buffy the Vampire Slayer helped to familiarize audiences who would otherwise not be exposed to those with sexual orientations different than their own. That being said, in a recent New Yorker article, Emily Greenhouse argues that “the United States moves inexorably toward granting equality to the L.G.B., but in the process—while still pronouncing that satisfying final consonant—we often, in practice, drop the ‘T.’,” because trans* issues are “less politically appealing.” Julia Rose, a first-year Arts and Culture student at Dawson who's set to be next year’s acting Women's Representative at the Dawson Student Union, disagrees with Greenhouse: “I think that thanks to the gay rights movement, that started a while ago, with [gay rights activist Harvey Milk] and stuff, that pushed it forward. Now we’re at a certain point where things are

Trans* washrooms

actually going places with gay marriage and it’s allowing a lot of space for queer identities and queer issues to come out.” We’re stuck on what Rose calls “the gender binary”, the convinction that two distinct genders exist and that they should be identifiable at first glance. “There are a lot of different ways to describe gender,” says Rose. Often described as socially constructed, gender is regarded as a mental property (property, not disease, as it was considered by the American Psychiatric Association up until last year), rather than a physical one. While sex, on the other

photo credit: tumblr.com

hand, generally refers to anatomical distinctions. “Even androgyny can drive people insane because they don't understand what they're looking at. People are really uncomfortable when they don't know somebody’s story when they look at them, and I think that's a problem,” says Rose. “Gender itself should be this thing you should totally use depending on how you feel it should be fluid,” explains Rose, who's also been organizing a zine on patriarchy, set to be released on May Day. Here's some good news: on March 20,

2013, the Canadian House of Commons approved a bill making it illegal to discriminate against trans* individuals. The bill passed 149 for and 137 against, with the support of 18 conservative MPs playing an important role. However, there’s still a great amount of misunderstanding around this issue here in Canada: Rob Anders, a conservative MP from Calgary, put forward a petition opposing what he called “the bathroom bill”, claiming that children are at risk “from any exposure and harm that would come from giving a man access to women's public washroom facilities.” Anders is reviving an old argument often used or implied against the LGBT community – everyone that’s not straight is a pedophile, essentially. What’s more, Anders is limiting the discrimination of trans* individuals to a “bathroom” issue, ignoring the struggles of trans* people who live in a country where they are commonly regarded as the dregs of society. The task I think we need to take upon ourselves is balancing the notion of “bathroom” bill rights and Batgirl characterisation, in the sense that we have to consider the gritty, unpleasant pains (practical and legal discrimination) of the trans* community, and our own notions of gender in order to change our understanding of trans* individuals: individuals defined by more than just their suffering and their gender. We have to expose ourselves to the discrimination and the complexity of the trans* community. Writers like The Guardian’s Rodrigo Lehtinen have argued that as bad as the situation of trans* rights seem right now, the movement is gaining momentum. I’d like to think it is, but I doubt that such a momentum can continue without us questioning representations of gender in the media as well as the actions of our government when it comes to protecting members of the LGBT community.

photo credit: tumblr.com

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:59 PM Page 12

12 VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

EDITOR: Daniel Sailofsky CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

Goodbye regular season, hello playoffs JOSH BATEMAN STAFF WRITER

San Antonio Spurs vs. Los Angeles Lakers When the Los Angeles Lakers added both Dwight Howard and Steve Nash to their already star studded roster, they become immediate pre season favorites to compete for the championship along with the Miami Heat. Never has a team been so disappointing. After firing their coach Mike Brown, struggling with injuries, and constantly hanging by a thread, Kobe Bryant managed to will the Lakers to the 7th seed in the Western Conference. The San Antonio Spurs faced similar injuries issues. After holding the league’s best record for a large portion of the season, both Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker were ailing. The Oklahoma City Thunder took advantage and were able to catch them and take the number one seed. When the Lakers drew the still injured and struggling Spurs in the first round it seemed as though it could be a favorable matchup. Once it was clear that both Manu Ginobli and Tony Parker were going to play regular minutes in the playoffs, the Kobe-less Lakers seemed to lose all hope though. Now doesn’t that still seem strange? The Lakers, still with three potential Hall of Famers in Pau Gasol, Dwight Howard and Steve Nash, will consider getting out of the first round of the playoffs an accomplishment. So much for championship favourites. Steve Nash has two MVP’s to his name, has led the league in assists five times, and has three all NBA first team selections. (Editor’s Note: Let’s not pick

on Steve, he’s at the end of his career and can’t be expected to carry a team. Dwight has no excuse though). Dwight Howard has won 3 Defensive Player of the Year awards, appeared in seven all-star games, and has five all NBA first team nominations. Steve Nash is nearing the end of his career, so maybe he gets a pass, but Dwight has no excuse. Throw in Pau Gasol and Metta World Peace, who have been at Kobe’s side for much of his post-Shaq success, and it is not only shocking but pathetic that this seemingly unprecedented collection of talent will struggle to make it out of the first round. Even if the Lakers manage to take down the ageless Tim Duncan and Greg Popavich, who are seeking their 5th championship together, that should not be close to enough to impress anybody. We are talking about some of the greatest players of their generation, two of which (Nash and Howard) who have yet to win a championship. A first round win should be nothing to them. Even without Kobe, a team like this should be championship or bust. Either the sports world is babying the Lakers for losing their star in Bryant, or the “so-called” potential future Hall of Famers are not some of the greatest players of their generation, but maybe some of the most overrated. New York Knicks vs. Boston Celtics The Eastern Conference playoff picture seems to lack some of the excitement that is seen in the West. With the Miami Heat appearing unbeatable, there really are only two teams in the East that seem to even have chance. It just so happens that those two teams, the New York Knicks and the Boston Celtics, drew each other in the first round.

Never has this year’s leading scorer, Carmelo Anthony been under more pressure. After leading his team to the second best record in the East, Melo and the Knicks drew a nightmare matchup. With a horrendous .315 winning percentage in the playoffs, Melo has built a reputation that he just cannot get it done when it matters most. But with the Knicks soaring at the end of the season it appears as though this could be his year. After Losing Rajon Rondo to a season ending ACL tear around the mid way point of the season, the critics seemed to

think the Celtics had lost any chance to make noise in the playoffs. I’m sure the world has finally learned that as long as Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce are starting together under Doc Rivers though, Boston always has a chance. Add in the emotion of the city of Boston after last week’s tragedy, and it no longer seems easy to pick the Knicks to take down the Celtics. (Editor’s Note: sports teams have a history of playing for their city in tough times, as seen with the New Orleans Saints after Hurricane Katrina or the Habs in Saku Koivu’s return

from cancer). And let’s not forget that one person will forever remain engrained in the minds of every Boston Celtic. Every Celtic will know that barring a miracle from the Milwaukee Bucks, Ray Allen and the Miami Heat will be waiting for them in the second round. You know K.G and the C’s have already got revenge on their mind, and that alone is enough to motivate the aging Celtics to put up the kind of effort that will take down the New York Knicks.

Melo hopes to win his first ever playoff series as the Knicks take on Paul pierece and the Celtics

Photo Credit: tumanontheknicks.com

April showers bring mayflowers JACOB COHEN SPORTS EDITOR

A four and seven record in the month of April has caused a full-out panic attack in Montreal. The team that was fighting for first in the East has now dropped into fourth place where the Leafs hungrily await in fifth place. With two games remaining in the season, the question remains: do the Canadiens rest their star players in anticipation for the playoffs or make a push for home ice advantage? Several angles must be looked at to answer this question. To start, Montreal’s veterans have been terrible this month. Markov and Gorges look asleep in their own end, Price has been struggling

mightily, and Montreal’s previously potent offense has been hard-pressed for goals. Too often in April, the Habs have been outscored even when leading the shot count, and our snipers – namely Pacioretty, Desharnais, Plekanec, Ryder and Bourque – need to start finding the back of the net. The young guys have been getting it done; Subban, Gallagher and Galchenyuk have all been in great form of late, but it hasn’t been enough to rally the team. Are the veterans just tired, or do they need to get back into winning form? Fatigue could be the issue at hand. This was a Canadiens team that finished fifteenth in the East last season, with nobody daring to raise the bar too high for this group. The fact that they are even seeded in the top four is nothing short of incredi-

ble. The highs have been extremely high this season, and the lows we are now learning are extremely low. Nothing exemplified this like Saturday’s 5-1 loss to the Capitals, who made the game look like men against boys. Or what about Tuesday’s 3-2 loss to the struggling Devils, who scored three consecutive probably for the first time in months. The wheels on the bas have fallen off, off, off. But are we asking too much of our Blue-Blanc-Rouge? Through 35 games they provided us with top quality hockey and competed with the very best. Now that they have vastly exceeded the fans’ expectations and clinched a playoff spot, the entire city mourns as they fall short of our now overly high hopes. There is no question that a quick playoff exit would be devastating given all the Canadiens have achieved this season. But given their achievements, the veterans deserve a little rest in preparation for the

playoffs. This is still a team that managed to move up eleven spots between last season and this season, and they should be commemorated for the work they have done thus far. By no means is their job over; this is just the beginning. Playoffs are where heroes become legends, legacies are made and fortunes are won and lost. With the character this team has demonstrated over the course of the season, there is no reason to believe that this team cannot succeed in the playoffs. There hasn’t been much character in April, and if there is any left, it’ll start with our veterans. A hot goalie can win you a playoff series, and Price will have to do at least that if not more if we want to play in the Stanley Cup Finals. Markov will need to lead us, especially on the power play, Gorges will have to do what he does best (blocking shots and

playing strong defense) and our snipers will have to go to work. It rarely all comes together like that for a team, but when it has, it’s proven unstoppable. The Kings did it last season in the playoffs, the Caps have done it for months and the Penguins have done it most of the season. The Penguins are obvious favourites going into the playoffs, but don’t discount the Canadiens from putting their game back together and making a deep playoff run. In the end it all lies on Price’s shoulders. If he continues his recent form, Price will be unpacking his cowboy boots and lasso faster than you can say “YEEHAW”. But if Price lives up to his potential, champagne showers could be within his reach.

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:59 PM Page 13

13 VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

EDITOR: Jacob Cohen CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

NFL Mock Draft: Part 2 (picks 17-32)

Barkevious Mingo. The single greatest name ever

ADRIANO VALENTE CONTRIBUTOR

17. Pittsburgh Steelers: Barkevious Mingo, OLB, LSU When the Steelers lost James Harrison to their divisional rivals the Cincinnati Bengals, they lost a key pass rusher on defense, albeit an old one. If the Steelers are fortunate enough to get Mingo over here at 17, they instantly address a dire need on a defensive front that could use some young players to compliment its aging veterans. Mingo is a bit of a raw project, kind of like Jason Pierre-Paul a few years back, but he’s got a lot of potential and some major upside for a mid first round pick. 18. Dallas Cowboys: Jonathan Cooper, OG, North Carolina After the Cowboys invested so much money into Tony Romo it’d be smart of them to get him some offensive linemen. Getting a guard here would kill two birds with one stone, as Cooper provides solid pass protection and is a great run blocker. With him at guard, the Cowboys can try and get something going with DeMarco Murray on the ground and help keep the newly signed Romo protected against the furious pass rushes of the NFC East. 19. New York Giants: D.J. Hayden, CB, Houston

Photo Credit: On the Clock NFL Draft

It’s always hard to guess who the Giants are going to pick. Rather than draft by need, the Giants like to draft players based on their ranking on the team’s draft board, regardless of position. All that being said, Hayden’s been steadily rising up many draft boards these last few weeks and it would make sense for the GMen to take a CB here. With Terrell Thomas coming off back-to-back season ending injuries and Corey Webster showing signs of decline, the Giants could take a physical corner like Hayden to compliment former first round pick Prince Amukamara. 20. Chicago Bears: Alec Ogletree, ILB, Georgia The Bears let go of long time veteran linebacker Brian Urlacher, so finding a replacement should be a top priority. Ogletree is a smart, tough and physical linebacker who can become a starter for the Bears from day one. He’s the drafts best 4-3 ILB and the Bears would be lucky to have him fall to them at 20. 21. Cincinnati Bengals: Eric Reid, S, LSU The Bengals could use some help in their secondary after some shaky performances last season. Although Reid isn’t as highly rated as Texas Safety Kenny Vacardo, he’s the best available left at the position at this point. Add that to the rumours that the Bengals really like Reid and that gives you a pretty big

hint of who they’ll pick. 22. St. Louis Rams: Jarvis Jones, OLB, Georgia Jones was considered a top-ten pick before a disappointing Pro Day, and ever since he’s been falling lower and lower on teams’ draft boards. If he does manage to fall to the Rams this would be more of a value pick then anything. The Rams already have a good pass rush and adding Jones can only make it better. 23. Minnesota Vikings: Tavon Austin, WR, West Virginia The Vikings traded away star WR Percy Harvin this offseason and desperately need to find a replacement. Austin is just as versatile as Harvin and is a similar athlete in many ways. He’s a threat in the pass game and special teams and can also be used as a weapon on the ground. 24. Indianapolis Colts: Menelik Watson, OT, Florida State The Colts should really upgrade their pass protection if they want to keep last years No.1 overall pick Andrew Luck safe. Watson’s a great offensive lineman, and getting him here at 24 would be a steal. He’s big enough to dominate most bull-rushing DEs, and the Colts are going to need someone to block J.J. Watt if they want to keep up with Houston in the division. 25. Minnesota Vikings: Sylvester Williams, DT, North Carolina Kevin Williams is going to be 33 once the season starts, and they’ve got no one to play next to him. Sylvester Williams gives them that No. 2 DT and can be groomed until he’s ready to take over for his veteran mentor. 26. Green Bay Packers: Justin Pugh, OT, Syracuse Aaron Rodgers is a great QB, one of the best in the league, but he’s been under constant pressure over the last few seasons. If the Packers want to get back to the Super Bowl they’re going to need to protect their most valuable asset. 27. Houston Texans: Keenan Allen, WR, California The Texans would be ecstatic if Allen fell to them at 27. Although his 4.75 40yard dash time might be something to worry about, Allen’s 6’2, so if he can’t be a deep threat he can always play physical à la Anquan Boldin. Plus the Texans sill have Andre Johnson, so all Allen has to

Now that’s one big Pugh. I’m so punny

do is be a solid number #2 WR and take some attention away from the often double covered Johnson. 28. Denver Broncos: Alex Okafor, DE, Texas Denver lost Elvis Dumerville this offseason to a rogue fax machine. They need a pass rusher opposite Von Miller and while Okafor is more of a 4-3 DE, his athleticism gives him the potential to play as a LB in the Broncos’ 3-4 scheme. With the NFL becoming more and more of an aerial show every year, you can never have too many pass rushers.

Please just use Skype next time, Manti

DJ Hayden, a potential Giant?

Photo Credit: carolinahuddle.com

29. New England Patriots: Justin Hunter, WR, Tennessee The Pats don’t have much depth at WR going into the draft. They’re without Wes Welker and Brandon Lloyd, so expect them to target a few WRs early. Hunter’s another player whose been rising up the draft boards recently, and at 6’4 he provides a huge target for Tom Brady in the passing game. 30. Atlanta Falcons: Desmond Trufant, CB, Washington The only thing holding the Falcons back from going all the way is their secondary. Rumours have it that they’re looking to trade up to grab a corner and

Photo Credit: blog.syracuse.com

Trufant could be that guy. He was a playmaker at Washington and that’s just what the Falcons need to add to their bland secondary. 31. San Francisco 49ers: Marcus Hunt, DE, SMU Justin Smith is 34 years old, so Hunt probably wouldn’t start his rookie year. Having said that, he’s a great 3-4 DE who fits the 49ers’ scheme and can easily contribute if and when he’s asked. San Fran probably wont let this kid sit on the bench all season though, so expect him to be rotated into the lineup if the 9ers can get him.

Photo Credit: npr.org

32. Baltimore Ravens: Manti Te’o, ILB, Notre Dame The Super Bowl champs lost nine starters this offseason, one being legendary ILB and defensive captain Ray Lewis. While Lewis’s presence on the defense will be missed sorely, they must move on. Te’o falls here because of poor combine and pro day workouts, as well as some strange off the field issues (just look up Lenny Kukua on Google, you’ll see). He’s still got a lot of potential but he’s going to be a project for John Harbaugh and the coaching staff.

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:59 PM Page 14

14 VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

EDITOR: Monika Cefis CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

Catherine Mcrae

H o r o s c o p e s written by Zachariah, Messenger of the Stars and Michelangelo, Seer of Truths

Aquarius

Gem ini

Libra

January 20 to February 19 In the deep blue, you are a tiger. Get out, you’re going to drown.

May 21 to June 20 Make some internet friends today. Go on online shopping sites and find the yam section. Carl will be waiting for you there. He likes yams. He’s good people.

September 23 to October 23 Life is a bridge, but you don’t know if it’s a sturdy bridge or one of those shaky rope ones, so you’d better stay off the bridge entirely. Get someone else to handle your problems, like crossing bridges. Wave to them from the other side. Thank them later

Pisces February 20 to March 20 Be insightful this week, and look for patterns in your everyday life. Ever notice that the ferocity with which one emits body odor is inversely proportional to the amount of functional teeth that they possess? What about how everyone looks at you funny when you wear those special earrings that your ex-fiancé made for you by pasting together various pieces of different insects and covering it all in glitter? Life is full of such mysterious happenings. Get to the bottom of them by lashing out at anyone who treats you with anything more than a shred of decency.

Cancer June 21 to July 22 Tourism is important for any developing economy, so try acting like a stranger in your own home. Rummage through all the drawers in your house looking for valuables, then accidentally trip the alarm and take your own family hostage in a fit of panic. Integration is hard!

Scorpio October 24 to Novermber 22 Now's a good time to take a look at long-term employment opportunities. If you want to get ahead of the curve and land a job in an up and coming field, here are some occupation suggestions: blacksmith, associate sponge wrangler, bloodletting consultant, professor of indifference, ostracistician, sultan, toothmaker, professional excommunicator (not to be confused with ex-professional communicator, which requires an altogether different skill set), cedar interpreter, com-

Aries

Leo

March 21 to April 19 Bad people get such a bad rap. Give them a better rap. Compose rap songs about them which highlight their upstanding qualities.

July 23 to August 22 In 1929, it was common courtesy to put your jacket over a puddle to allow women to step off of sidewalks unencumbered by liquid. Don’t do that though, because you’ll ruin your jacket. It’s Armani. It’s expensive

monwealth analyst, colour critic, doubt salesman, cartilage architect, intelligent designer, interior immolator, indigestor, small wooden peg engineer.

Sagittarius Novermber 23 to Dec 21 Have you ever wondered why flies only live for eighteen hours? It’s because they can’t handle how ugly you are. Get a makeover before you kill again.

Taurus

Virgo

April 20 to May 20 Start hunting and collecting garden snakes, but don't be sketch about it. Play it off as pest control and/or fringe science.

August 23 to September 22 Every time you sneeze, a unicorn dies. Hold it in.u

Capricorn December 22 to January 19 So if everything is made out of molecules, then what are molecules made out of ? Other molecules!? Well then what are those ones made out of ??? Checkmate, science…

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:59 PM Page 15

15 EDITOR: Moninka Cefis CONTACT: theplantnewspaper@gmail.com

VOL. 41 ISSUE 22 - Thursday, April 25, 2013

COMICS

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Master 22 Issue - SM. - Copy-edited-latest:The Master 13-04-24 6:59 PM Page 16


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