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S P I R I T J U L Y 3 1 2 0 0 3
Changing Lives
WINTER 2004 SEASON
M E T R O
ONE MILE At a Time Walt Disney World Marathon and Half Marathon Orlando, FL - Jan. 11, 2004 Bermuda Marathon and Half Marathon Bermuda - Jan. 18, 2004 PF Chang’s “Rock ‘n’ Roll” Marathon and Half Marathon Phoenix, AZ - Jan. 11, 2004
RUN
WALK
Atlanta Half Marathon Atlanta, GA - Nov. 27, 2003
Team In Training, the world’s largest endurance training program, is now forming teams in the Augusta area! Train to run, run/walk or walk marathons and half marathons in an exciting event location.” Information Meeting
Wednesday, August 6th • 6:30 pm Augusta Regional Library - 902 Greene Street, Augusta Kickoff/Information Meeting
Wednesday, August 20th • 6:30 pm Shereton Augusta - 2651 Perimeter Parkway, Augusta
For more information contact Kate Wicker at 706-667-7107 or wickerk@ga.leukemia-lymphoma.org
ROSACEA If you suffer from rosacea and are at least 18 years of age, you may be eligible for a clinical research study. You may qualify if you have red, sometimes swollen skin around forehead, cheeks, and nose, red bumps similar to acne, or tiny blood vessels over the nose and cheeks that appear as a blush at a distance. Participants will be reimbursed, so call today to learn if you may be eligible. Medical insurance is not required for study participation.
(706) 855-7405
M
y husband’s a great guy, but we’ve lost romantic interest in each other. After 10 years together, I’m no supermodel, and he’s as romantic as a refrigerator. I’ve fallen in love with someone else — Frodo Baggins, the lead Hobbit in the movie “The Lord of the Rings.” By that, I mean I took a movie character whose looks I like, and fantasized his personality into the sort of man I’d always dreamed of. I developed this escape technique as a teenager, and can’t seem to break it. The fact is, real life is drab and fantasy is exciting. When my husband and I met, he made my fantasy boyfriend seem boring in comparison. If I force myself to focus on real life and my real-life man, maybe I could be happy. Without expensive therapy, how do I break up with my fantasy boyfriend forever? — Dreaming of Middle Earth
What happened, you logged into the famous dude fantasy store and all the Daniel DayLewises, Brad Pit ts and Johnny Depps were taken? One would hope. Because, if your firstchoice fantasy is falling into the arms of a four-foot dwar f with dir ty fingernails, pointy ears and big hairy feet — well, it’s a good thing you didn’t go into more detail about your reality, just in case anyone’s reading this while eating. In the movie, your unlikely hero, Frodo, nobly volunteered for a quest he didn’t want and wobbled of f in hopes of saving the world from big, black doom — all the while looking very Bambi-in-headlights about the whole deal. Yes, in a world of Terminator 3’s, you go for The Twerpinator. At least you’re original. Despite Frodo’s twerpiness, he does fit the mold of the Prince Charming type — those guys who are supposed to “save” (bored, lethargic) damsels from their (dull) distress. That’s really what you’re af ter, right? Glass slippers and all. Well, guess what? In real life, glass slippers give you corns. If you want something from your husband, don’t sit around waiting for him to notice the big comic strip thought bubble over your head, ask him for it: “Yo, hub, would you consider get ting a small field of hair plugs implanted in the tops of your feet ... just for me? How about doing that frat par ty trick where a guy walks on his knees with his shir t and pants arranged so he looks four feet tall?” The nex t step is asking him what he’s into. Sounds like it used to be giving
you what you’re into — until you withdrew into your head with dwar f boy, and locked your husband out. Gee, could that be contributing to what you describe as his current major appliance-like state? I wonder! You got stuck on the four-foot stud by thinking about him constantly; unstick yourself by unthinking about him constantly. (Self-discipline, how kinky!) The moment he pops into your mind, swat him out and replace him with thoughts of your husband. For example: what you can do for your husband, ways you can have fun with your husband and what’s sexy about a man who isn’t easily mistaken for a furry nightstand. Regarding your desire to avoid “expensive therapy,” how much is your marriage wor th to you? $5? $50? $500? Should you reach your cutof f point, at least have the decency to upgrade your mental infidelity figure to the likes of Hugh Jackman, Taye Diggs or Orlando Bloom. No mat ter what you do, your husband will never become your Hobbit, but if you care enough to put in the ef for t, you might someday have yourself a real Mini-Me among men.
I recently dated a beautiful woman with low self-esteem. Although I told her she’s a wonderful person, did little things for her and made her feel like a real woman, she’s given me the brush off. Why won’t people afflicted with this mentality let someone positive into their life? — Underappreciated Savior Before you came around to make her feel like “a real woman,” what did she feel like — a giant skin tag with ladies’ bathroom privileges? If so, that’s exactly how she still feels, no mat ter how many times you told her how wonder ful she is. That approach is about as ef fective as sticking lit tle “feel bet ter about myself” notes on the mirror: “I’m a great girl,” “My eyebrows are well-arched,” “I’m good at slicing cheese.” In volume, these notes do have an ef fect: blocking one’s view of the idiot who believes in the healing power of stick-on flat tery. That said, there are a few notes that could be of help to you. Write and paste the following on your mirror: “You can’t have a healthy relationship with an unhealthy person” and “I will not say ‘made her feel like a real woman’” ever again, unless I meet someone who’s turned on by men who sound like feminine hygiene commercials from the ‘70s. — © 2003, Amy Alkon
Got A Problem? Write Amy Alkon
171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com