Metro Spirit 07.31.2003 by Metro Spirit

METRO SPIRIT July 31-August 6 Vol. 14 No. 52

Augustaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Independent Voice

Too Straight

for

Queer Guys Channel 26

Bumps

Hit Show

p.14

S P I R I T

Fleas, Ticks, Allergies,

Summer Skin Problems?

Enjoy A

Relaxing Getaway

J U L Y

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“Housecalls For Pets” Vaccinations • Surgery • Dentistry • Senior Care Wellness & Preventative Care • Microchip Identification Home Delivery of Prescription Medications & Diets Heartworm Prevention • Flea & Tick Control Products

Debra J. Saul, D.V.M.

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No microwaves here! All food is prepared with the finest and freshest ingredients. We marinate & grill our breasts of chicken and filets of steak in our homemade marinade. We have a huge selection of vegetarian & vegan items, including The world’s best guacamole which is 100% vegan. All orders are customized right in front of you. Just the way you like it. Proudly serving the freshest, best tasting burritos under the sun.

Burritos

tacos

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4.85

rice, beans, meat, cheese, salsa

Fatty

5.45

rice, beans, meat, cheese, salsa, guac

Heavy D

5.85

rice, beans, meat, cheese, salsa, sour cream, guac, lettuce

Vegetarian

2.95

Super nachos with sour cream and guac

beans, meat, cheese, salsa, lettuce

Heavy D beans, meat, cheese, salsa, sour cream, guac, lettuce

Vegetarian

4.35

Super Vegetarian

5.15

nachos

4.85

Regular

vegetarian with sour cream, guac, lettuce

Vegan

Regular with meat

1.95

beans, cheese, salsa, lettuce

rice, beans, cheese, salsa

Super Vegetarian

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rice, beans, tofu, salsa, guac, lettuce

2.45

vegetarian with sour cream, guac, lettuce

5.85

spinach leaves, black beans, mushrooms, cheese, salsa, guac, black olives, cucumbers

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Comes on a toasted 10” tortilla with melted Monterey Jack or without.

Regular Chicken same toppings as regular, served with Southwestern dijon or without

5.50

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Salads

4.85 5.50

Cheese Meat Meat & Beans Vegetarian

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Guacamole

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M E T R O

Contents Metro Spirit

J U LY 3 1 - A U G U S T 6 • F R E E W E E K LY • M E T R O S P I R I T. C O M

August at Doctors Hospital

Community Ed

Growing Into Adolescence*

Back to School Health Fair

Saturday, August 2 Location: Augusta Mall. Medical professionals will offer life-saving screenings including cholesterol, lipid profiles, blood pressure, blood sugar levels, body fat analysis and more. Special stage events and children’s safety activities will be presented throughout the day.

Educational Seminar: Talk IBS

ON THE COVER

Monday, August 11, 6 pm Location: Doctors Hospital, Building III, Senior Friends Meeting Area. An educational seminar presented by the Center for Digestive Diseases for the person with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome.) Call 651-2450 to register or for more information.

Too Straight for Queer Guys: Channel 26 Bumps Hit Show By Brian Neill.....................................14

Painless Childbirth Retirement

A Safe, Simple Sterilization Alternative Tuesday, August 19, 6 pm Location: Doctors Hospital, Building III, Senior Friends Meeting Area. Presented by Peter Grossman, MD. Learn about Tubal Occlusion, a new permanent contraception technique that requires no incision, no anesthesia and little recovery. Please call 651-2450 to make a reservation.

Cover Design: Stephanie Bell Cover Photo Courtesy of BRAVO

“Maintaining an Active Lifestyle”

FEATURES

New Standard, or Medical Hype? By Brian Neill .....................................................16

Wednesday, August 20, 3:30–5 pm Location: Doctors Hospital Campus, Building III, Senior Friends Meeting Area. Presented by Scott Duffin, MD, orthopedic surgeon and Kevin Zember, physical therapist. Sponsored by Doctors Hospital’s Human Motion Institute. To register for this free event, please call 651-2270.

What Parents and Teachers Should Know About AD/HD

Monday, August 25, 7 – 9 pm Join Reginald Pilcher, MD and Warren Umansky, PhD for this workshop which will provide current information on the diagnosis and treatment of attention deficit disorders in children. To register, please call 651-2229.

Senior Friends

Located on the Doctors Hospital Campus, Building III, 1305 Interstate Parkway.

AARP Driver Safety Program** Two consecutive Saturdays, August 9 & 16, 9 am – 1 pm Participants must pre-register. Open to the public 50+. Cost is $10/person. Call 651-6716 to register.

Arts

Dragon Con Approacheth ............................................21 Soulful Saturdays: Dramatic Poetry Reading at the River ...............................................................................28 Local Theatre Companies Lure Fans Into the Woods ............................................................................30 Bow Wow Off the Leash at the Bell Auditorium...............................37

8 Days a Week .............................................................22

7 – 9:30 pm Mondays, July 21 – August 25 Tuesdays, July 29 – August 26

Saturday Express Prepared Childbirth Class* Labor & Delivery Tour

Tuesday, August 5, 7 – 8:30 pm Tour Begins at the hospital in Classrooms 1 & 2.

Infant CPR*

Thursday, August 21, 6:30 – 9 pm

Baby Care*

Sunday, August 24, 4 – 6:30 pm

Sibling Class*

Sunday, August 24, 2 – 3:30 pm

Breastfeeding*

Thursday, August 28, 6:30 – 8:30 pm Doctors Hospital Campus, 3623 J. Dewey Gray Circle Medical Office Building I, Cradle Club Classroom, Suite 110.

2nd Annual FREE Running Clinic

Saturday, September 13 Hourly Sessions begin at 9 am Location: Doctors Hospital, Building II, Suite 302. Pre-register now, space is limited. RSVP required. Please call 651-2270.

1973–2003 1973 2003

3651 Wheeler Road • Augusta, GA

Life’s treasures

come naturally on Tolomato Island.

Cinema Movie Listings .............................................................31 Review: “American Wedding” .....................................33 Movie Clock ..................................................................34

Music The Rhes Reeves Band Finds Freedom .......................35 Music by Turner ..............................................................36 Bow Wow Off the Leash at the Bell Auditorium ..........37 Music Minis ....................................................................38 Night Life .........................................................................39

Stuff Food: Red Lion Pub ......................................................20 News of the Weird ........................................................42 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ......................................43 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................43 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................44 Date Maker ...................................................................45 Classifieds .....................................................................47

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler, Kristen Chandler PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Bell, Natalie Holle ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley ACCOUNTING MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Austin Rhodes, Amy Alkon CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

METRO SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metrospirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metrospirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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www.tolomatoislandgeorgia.com Not an offer where prohibited by law.

M E T R O S P I R I T

Saturday, August 2, 9 am – 5 pm

Upcoming Events

For more information, call 651-2450 or visit www.doctors-hospital.net

Mind-Boggling Money for Courthouse .......................10 Mays Demands Answers From Kolb ..........................12

Prepared Childbirth Classes*

**Items will be held in the Senior Friends Meeting Area. To join or register for classes please call 651-6716 or register online www.doctors-hospital.net .

Location: Doctors Hospital Campus. The American Heart Association promotes physical activity and heart-healthy living in a fun family environment. This year, 750,000 walkers will participate in over 600 events across the country, raising funds to save lives from this country’s greatest killers: heart disease and stroke. If you would like to form a team or join in the walk, please call 855-5005.

Metro Beat

Join our Cradle Club today! Membership is FREE. Please PRE-REGISTER for ALL classes. Call 651-BABY (2229) or register online.

*These classes will be held at:

Tuesday, August 26, 11:30 am Presented by Dr. Leslie Pollard, Jr. Lunch provided. Please RSVP to 651-2450 by August 22.

Saturday, September 27 Registration is at 9 am Walk begins at 9:30 am

Whine Line ......................................................................4 Words ...............................................................................4 This Modern World .........................................................4 Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ............................................5 Suburban Torture ............................................................6 Letters to the Editor .......................................................7 Austin Rhodes .................................................................8 Insider ..............................................................................9

Cradle Club

“Prevention, Recognition and Treatment of Stroke**

American Heart Walk

Opinion

Events

Saturday, August 23, 9 am – 12 pm Join instructor Michael Cieslak in this class for boys ages 9-12, along with their father or a male relative. Open discussions will be conducted on how each boy can “survive” the changes that occur during puberty. Please call 651-2450 to register

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Whine Line I

t sure took News-Times editor Barry Paschal a long time to figure out that Columbia County School Board Trustee Lee Muns has a quarrelsome attitude. Shame, shame on you, Barry, for just waking up!

trustees and deacons from the church. A simple majority is all that is needed. The Bell-Hudson-Shaefer group pulled a “fast one” when they saw that they were outvoted (literally) by a majority of the congregation!

Why can’t you put a barge in the water and shoot the fireworks from there? It works in other places and then South Carolina can go soak its head. Too bad we can’t put up a big screen to keep them out.

Channel 6’s Jennifer Mazie’s story on the South Carolina lottery was outstanding. Not only is she attractive, but she is smart as a whip and she really does her homework. You can count on her over the other airheads at the competition any day to bring stories to the news people care about — not just fluff and weather overkill no one is interested in. I just want to say good job Jennifer!

To the person complaining about Pam Tucker and Ron Cross publicly humiliating the young lady at a recent commission meeting. I say what did you expect? I don’t know Ron Cross, but I do know that you accurately described Pam Tucker’s MO which is to self-promote at the expense of others, as often as possible and especially when there’s an audience. You’re right on the money. The food marts, rent-to-owns, title pawns and pawn shops all rip off the poor And the community leaders don’t care. But the poor don’t care either because they still go to them knowing they’re getting ripped off. Don’t wish to get ripped off! Don’t go to these places. No business and they will close up.

I was on vacation this week in Charleston, S.C. and I heard McKenzie Clark on the radio. She sounded so good. What has happened to Y105’s morning show? It has really gone down hill and is embarrassing our city. I just wanted to say great job McKenzie and I wish you would come back and bring Dakota West with you to do another morning show.

I hope Andy Cheek wins again. He has been a true advocate for South Augusta and has brought in more than 10 times the amount of capital improvement projects than any of his predecessors. He was a true friend to the seniors of Augusta when he spearheaded keeping the senior centers open. He wants to keep focusing on the roads, water and recreation improvements before we even discuss the new civic center with the SPLOST money. He’s pushing the priorities South Augusta wants. He’s looking out for us and he’s got my vote.

What a piece of socialist propaganda in last week’s Spirit, “Ripping Off the Poor.” No one is “forced” to use predatory lenders or pay higher prices at grocery stores. Also, no one is forced to have kids they cannot afford and drop out of school. No one is forced to not learn a marketable job skill or pay attention in school and grasp a semblance of how to speak the English language or make correct change. No one is forced to buy that six pack of malt liquor or package of cigarettes or lotto tickets instead of saving the money to pay for that unexpected car repair, or for more job training. Getting out of the cycle of poverty involves short-term sacrifice; but it’s just easier to blame it on society.

Regarding First Baptist Church. Just for the record, Roberts Rules of Order do not specify a two-thirds vote to remove

Here go the mental giants of Columbia County again. This time they have a “master plan” to restore the barbecue pit, dance

Words “Nobody ever asked me a question about that.” — Jeb Stuart Magruder’s recent statement to the Associated Press, concerning his 30-year silence on the matter of whether former President Richard M. Nixon had advance knowledge of the Watergate break-in. Magruder, who was Nixon’s deputy campaign manager at the time, recently told AP that he overheard Nixon tell former Attorney General John Mitchell to go ahead with the break-in during a phone conversation.

pavilion and gate keeper’s house at the pavilion. These great financial managers are going to spend $100K of taxpayer money for the above “toys” that will never raise enough money to pay for the cost of labor and maintenance. On top of that, our director of leisure services, Barry Smith, wants to add Petersburg boats and canoe rentals. I object to these dreams, as they have no basis in sound financial analysis. Let’s fix the flooding, gridlock and provide sidewalks if there is county money to waste on toys like this! To date, the GBI and a state audit agency have been investigating the East Georgia Mental Health Center. Since nothing has come of the efforts by these agencies, how about the Georgia Legislature and the Richmond County delegation in particular get this mess resolved? Also, what is our governor doing to help? In the meantime, the new board is struggling to make ends meet and patients suffer. What’s wrong with this picture?

I sure am glad the economy failed so I can move back in with my parents and work for six dollars an hour. Now the opposite sex just totally digs me. They say, “I always wanted a pasty, cheap polo shirt wearing person who lives with his mom!” They parachute onto the lawn of the apartment building I live in, champagne in hand. “We want you!” Kill me now. Some of the most rude, annoying, selfish, rude people are the ones who shop and eat in restaurants on Sunday mornings. You don’t know how many times in my mind I have dreamed of having one of those illegal cellphone-jamming devices. I abandoned a date and left them to get home on their own because their cellphone was growing out of their ear. Get a life! I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the reporter’s ignorance of basic economics exposed in the article titled “Ripping Off the Poor” (July 17-23). Some rudimentary degree of economic knowledge

should be required to write (or publish) such articles. People get paid what their services are worth to their employer, not what they would like to make or what they would like to have to spend. Second, goods cost more in poor neighborhoods because expenses (security, insurance, shoplifting losses, etc.) are higher, not out of spite or malice. People with demonstrably bad credit histories or low incomes have to pay more to borrow money than those with a good track record for sound economic reasons — the risk of non-payment is higher. People who lack the selfdiscipline to save up for a couch or TV rather than renting one because they want one now are poor credit risks. Don’t believe this? Fine, here is a constructive suggestion: Put your money where your mouth is. Instead of whining and carping about how lenders, convenience stores, rental centers, etc. operate their businesses and trying to force them to run them the way you think they should be run, go into a poor neighborhood and open your own business. (It’s worth noting that no convenience store, rental centers, payday loan business owners were interviewed or quoted in the article — pretty one-sided, don’t you think?). If you think some people are charging too much and earning an unfair profit off the poor, then open a competing business and charge the prices you think are fair and ethical. In a year you and I will know one of two things: (1) corporate America

is too dumb to know a profit opportunity when one is out there, and you will have shown them up, made a reasonable profit and done a commendable service to the poor, as a shining example to others of how to do this, or (2) you will be bust and have learned a valuable lesson in real-world economics. It is not “compassionate” to lecture others on what to charge and how to run their businesses with their money — quit whining about how others conduct themselves and show us all how to run a business serving the poor which can survive with lower prices than are presently charged.

5 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 3 1

I’ve just returned to Augusta after 20 plus years. Is Sonny Pittman the same fellow who was student body president at Augusta College? Maybe if he were elected he would best serve everyone by not showing up. Now if only we could infect the civic center yahoos, the airport authority and the rest of Richmond County officials with the same personality trait ...

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Judge Wheale has been vilified by the Spirit and the other ditto heads in the Augusta area who, with their usual “I read it, so I believe it” mentalities, know little or nothing about the man. I did happen to sit in Judge Wheale’s chambers when I had to bring my former wife back to court for failing to live up to the child visitation rights in our divorce decree. I found Judge Wheale forceful but fair. continued on page 6

Thumbs Up On Sunday, July 27, the Georgia-based soldiers of the 3rd Infantry Division’s 2nd Brigade Combat Team were told they were finally headed home to the peach state. These Fort Stewart soldiers have been overseas in Iraq for 10 months and endured four weeks of heavy combat and four months of dangerous occupation duty, according to

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Now, it’s time for them to come home to their loving friends and family who have been desperately praying for months for their safe return. Hopefully all our men and women in the armed services overseas will soon hear those same joyous words, “Pack up. You’re headed home.”

Thumbs Down That after all the outrage and media attention, a man’s claim to be offering high-dollar, paintball safari hunts for naked women in Las Vegas turned out to be hoax. Of course, it’s a good thing the hunts weren’t really taking place (they reportedly were staged using actors in order to help sell videos), but the lousy thing is, that

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once again, the media seized on a sensational story and ran with it. Talk shows were abuzz, condemning the man and lamenting the low point to which our society seemed to have reached, when the real lamentable thing is how inane, uninformative and misdirected news content from major media outlets has become.

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6 M E T R O S P I R I T

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Marcie Wilhelmi has her hands full trying to run off Kraemer. I think he can tolerate the citizen’s board and all they throw at him. The one thing that may get him out the door is that voice of hers ... sounds like the secretary of the principal from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” They think he’s a righteous dude.”

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Suburban Torture BY

JULIE

I recently came back from a beach that was apparently having a Baptist youth convention in town that week, and was absolutely appalled at these so-called religious kids. They would sit on the docks in the mornings and read their Bibles, but would cuss and drink more than the college kids that same night. One even yelled “Someone make love to me!” I’ve seen correctional kids act better. I told my wife, “If these are the people that are going to heaven, I’m looking forward to hell.”

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continued from page 5 Did I get everything I wanted? No. Were my children’s best interests met? Yes. If anything, Judge Wheale looks out for the children, and is objective. He doesn’t tolerate BS in his courtroom, but why should he? He has my vote. Judge not the man by what is put in print; judge the man by seeing him in action for yourselves.

LARSON

Now that you mention it, I do see that First Friday guy strolling around downtown smoking like an oncoming freight train. Dude, it’s called the patch. And iron every once in a while. Please make Phil Kent go away and Willie “Panty Boy” Mays, too.

n’t a chance! What’s even worse, I have had several attorneys tell me it’s well known how he works, but no one will do anything about it! I urge the District Attorney’s office and the GBI to not let this drop. The local TV news stations have become so lazy about reporting real news that they’re devoting 18 minutes to drone-like weather reporting in each 30-minute newscast. Yesterday, they reported that a rain shower was over downtown Hampton, SC. Who cares? Local news is pure fluff. I’m sick of it. I’m installing cable tomorrow to escape local news forevermore. Why get your shorts in a knot about the woman commentator at the all-star game? “Babeball” is the national pastime. Next time you watch or attend a game, note all the women and girls in attendance. Look at all the girls’ softball leagues. It’s their game, too. In last week’s guest column, David Moretz suggested moving GreenJackets Stadium to a central business district (downtown) locale. And I bet Billy Morris owns the ideal spot for a new stadium. This idea is way too transparent. The current stadium is one of the few things in Augusta that works. Leave it alone. I would like to apologize to the morons on the Coliseum Authority for calling them morons when they bickered unproductively for years. Finally, in a two-hour period, they behaved like professional adults and actually accomplished something. — Call our Whine Line at (706) 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metrospirit.com.

I just wanted to respond to the question last week as to “Can anyone get a fair trial under Judge Duncan Wheale”? You don’t know the half of it! I have personally watched this man’s rulings rip the life of my son apart, and then less than two years later, he did the same thing to my fiancée. He runs his courtroom like he’s God and anyone he has pre-perceived as guilty has-

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Letters to the Editor

Downtown Stadium Idea Is 15 Years too Late Dear Editor, I enjoyed reading your guest column in this week’s Spirit and I can see that your vision for a downtown home for the GreenJackets is a good one ... a downtown ballpark, a large outdoor venue, a draw and destination afterhours in 30901. Too bad it’s about 15 years too late. So, where the hell were you in the late ‘80s — when, as I recall, some were proposing this very notion? I remember years ago as a cub reporter and AC journalism student in those days this then semi-derelict land that is now the Georgia Golf and Gardens was in consideration as a site for a downtown ballpark. So what happened? Billy didn’t like it — didn’t want it there? Monied golfing special interests did? Now we have all of that prime downtown riverfront land — with a brick wall around it. And drawing no one downtown at night. On the other hand, is it big enough? It seems to me that if home plate were at

Mildred’s Lottery, it sure wouldn’t take Sammy Sosa to get the ball wet. And what would keep people off the levee during a game and watching for free? Is there even enough land between Reynolds and the river for baseball? Perhaps there is room there for a Performing Arts Center?!? Alas, I fear that it is now perhaps too late for all of this to occur. However, I really do like your proposal of the Golf and Gardens being moved to the pensioners parcel at 5th and Reynolds, now short-sightedly being considered for the judicial center even though that land is barely big enough for the freakin’ parking lot the judicial center will need — and of the old no-rent Reynolds Street train depot being preserved and given a new purpose rather than being torn down to make way for parking spaces. Good luck with these visionary ideas of yours just the same. — Randy Potter

Defends Judge Duncan Wheale Dear Editor, Recently, a news article questioned the character of the honorable Duncan Wheale. In particular, the Spirit suggested some people picture him as a pistol-toting, Wild West justice of the peace. I’ve known Duncan for over 20 years. He has always been a hard working community leader, family man and person of integrity and principle. Perhaps thugs and political aspirants view him differently.

Today, he refuses to be intimidated by these common criminals and political deadbeats when they, unsuccessfully, attempt to alter his decisions. He’s quite adamant about his decisions since they benefit the people. Yet, with all, he has maintained a demeanor commensurate with the solemn nature of his profession. I admire few people. Duncan Wheale happens to be one of the few.

M E T R O

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ive Congressman Charlie Norwood credit for taking on the weather. Well, he isn’t really taking on the weather, but he is taking on the metaphorical government equivalent: The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. Just like the weather, people have been victimized by it, frustrated by it, and prisoner to its unpredictability and utter disregard for logic. Just like the weather, people always complained about it, but didn’t do anything about it. That is until, Charlie came along. The Corps has been the defacto monarchy on all property issues pursuant to Lake Thurmond (Clarks Hill Lake) and for that matter, most of the other man-made reservoirs in our area. The Corps has been as stingy with commercial investors and innovations at Lake Thurmond as Grandma Walton was with her virtue. Not to mention absolutely ridiculous when it comes to simple things like property cleanup after a storm. Got a dead tree lying at the waterline? Pick it up without permission and face a federal fine, and the possible loss of your property privileges. When the Corps is too stodgy, and dare I say conservative, for the like of Georgia’s GOP, that oughta tell you something. As Georgia’s District 9 congressman, Norwood wants to depose the king, or at least greatly curtail his power. Toward that end, he has drafted House Bill 2753, which would allow the Corps to continue its reign to the full pool level (the high water mark) of the lakes in question, but beyond that, give all other control to the local jurisdictions involved. In a nutshell, the counties would have oversight on land use, development, zoning, etc., over all the dry property now controlled by the Corps. The genius of this plan is that it is so simple, no one seriously considered doing it. Until now. Last weekend Congressman Johnny Isakson was in Augusta for a fundraiser, and we had a chance to discuss this proposal. While he is currently campaigning to succeed Zell Miller as senator, there are very few issues he knows as well as private lake development. First, he is a real estate man. Second, Georgia’s No. 1 fresh water recreational facility, Lake Lanier, is in his own backyard. Isakson knows Lake Lanier; he has played in Lake Lanier, and he is eager to see other Georgia lakes enjoy Lanier’s prosperity. While he is new to the specifics of Norwood’s plan, Isakson says the theory is sound. Get the Feds out of the way and allow private investors to partner with local government to expand the recreational possibilities at Lake Thurmond. It has certainly worked like a charm for his district. And again, he should know. But, as The Augusta Chronicle so wonderfully pointed out in a column this week, there are caveats with the plan.

Obviously, if the local counties are reluctant to take over the responsibility that the measure would require, then the plan is dead in the water. It is a very shortsighted mindset that would have a problem with such a thing, but CSRA political leaders do not have a reputation for being visionary. The takeover would be expensive, but the projected windfall could be enormous. Complaining about undertaking the investment is akin to a thief not wanting to take a bag filled with money, because it weighs so much. C’mon people, find a way to cope, and make off with the booty. Lake Thurmond is woefully under used, and one of the main reasons is because it features very few worthwhile attractions. Lake Lanier bustles, and it does so because intelligent leadership allowed proper private investment that created one of the premier tourist attractions in the Southeast. The only loud opposition you will hear to this plan, from private citizens anyway, comes from the folks who have quiet little hunks of the lakefront securely in their own pockets, and who don’t want the rest of the world disturbing their Nirvana. These people (and I have been called colorful names by many of them) want the rest of the world to forget Lake Thurmond ever existed. Ask any of them. Is there a lake up there? “No.” Have the increased water levels made Thurmond more enjoyable? “Of course not.” Is it true there are hazards that make the lake dangerous? “Actually, the water moccasin population has dwindled since the sharks and barracudas took over. Oh, and one more thing. It’s haunted.” Is it true that celebrities hang out at the lake? “Well, we do have that guy from the ‘Friday the 13th’ movies. He is pretty famous.” The bill that Norwood has drafted along with his congressional colleague from the Palmetto State, Gresham Barrett, is not perfect, but it has gotten the ball rolling. If the small and selfish minds that often block progress in this neck of the woods would quit sniping and start working out the details, we could have local control of our shoreline (and the shorelines of other nearby Corps properties) before you know it. In the meantime, thank you Congressman Norwood for finally doing something about the weather. Nice to know we can take it on every once and a while. — The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.

Opinion: Insider

Party Faithful Lose Faith Short List for Judge Riles Republicans

he giant sucking sound you hear is Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue’s credibility among hardcore Republicans (GOP) going down the drain. An almost audible gasp, followed by anger and disillusionment, describes the reaction of local GOP leaders and elected officials to Perdue’s short list of nominees to replace Superior Court Judge Lyn Allgood. They are in shock. The Judicial Nominating Commission, headed by former Attorney General and gubernatorial candidate Mike Bowers, recommended a list of five names that included Gov. Sonny Perdue District Attorney Danny Craig, Solicitor Sheryl Jolly, City Attorney Jim Wall, attorney Mike Annis and attorney Bill Sams. Republicans are complaining that, with the exception of Annis, there are no active Republicans on the list. Craig and Jolly are Democrats, Wall calls himself a Republican but local Republicans don’t buy it, and while Sams has Republican credentials he hasn’t been active in the party for years. Only Annis is considered a bona fide Republican among local GOP leaders. Sure, the short list came from the commission and not directly from Perdue. But make no mistake about it: the governor is in charge of the process and can strongly influence the names on the list if he chooses. Republicans are laying the results of the selection process at Perdue’s door. Be assured that Perdue is hearing from local leaders. Sources report that several politicos have met or will meet with Perdue this week and next week to express their disbelief at the results of the process and to lobby for their choice. Coming on the heels of Perdue’s lousy performance in the 2003 legislative session, his call for tax increases (a Republican no-no) and the horrible economic and political mess created when the governor called for privatization of YDC, resulting in job losses and potential lawsuits, Perdue is making it difficult for the local party faithful to remain on his team. For some local elected officials, their association with the governor is hurting them at home. Take state Sen. Randy Hall (R-23) for example. Hall beat former state Sen. Charles Walker last year by less than 300 votes. Sen. Randy Hall

Walker, a ranking Democrat at the time, held the position of Senate Majority Leader while Governor Roy Barnes was in office and was thought invincible by many. The majority of District 23 voters Former State Sen. are black. One rea- Charles Walker son Hall won is that a few courageous black ministers helped turn out black voters for him. The YDC debacle has hurt Hall with some of his African-American constituents because most of the employees who lost jobs when Perdue decided to privatize were black. The governor’s decision makes Hall look bad and gives Walker a chance to remind voters that privatizing YDC wouldn’t have occurred while he and Barnes were in charge. Walker, through his newspaper, The Augusta Focus, never misses a chance to remind voters that Hall and state Sen. Don Cheeks don’t have the clout he had while in office. Perdue badly handled the entire YDC episode while Hall and Cheeks take the heat. Had Perdue’s office communicated more closely with the local legislative delegation rather than arbitrarily cramming the YDC decision down their throats, the situation might be different. While Hall is still reeling from the YDC debacle, his governor hands him a list of judicial candidates that is unsatisfactory on several levels. Like every other local elected official, Hall expected more Republicans to be included. Not only was Hall surprised, the list makes him look powerless. It appears that Hall’s input on who should become judge has fallen on deaf ears in Atlanta. That’s not good. More ammunition for his opponent next year, whether it is Walker or someone else. Even under the best circumstances Hall faces a difficult election in 2004. He won by such a thin margin, the shift of only a few votes can easily turn him out of office. Is Perdue’s staff paying any attention to this? Republicans have a slim, vulnerable margin in the state senate and Democrats are targeting Hall for defeat. Given the demographics and circumstances, District 23 is a likely place for Democrats to pick up a seat in their effort to regain a majority in the senate. There is one candidate on the short list of judicial nominees that would, if chosen, guarantee Hall’s early retirement from politics at the hand of an opponent in 2004: District Attorney Danny Craig. While Craig is absolutely qualified to be a judge, his standing in the African-American community is extremely low. Rightly or wrongly, black political leaders hold Craig responsible for the Special Grand Jury (SGJ) investigation and

report. The SGJ was scathing in its criticism of how the city operates. High profile AfricanAmericans like former Augusta Fire Chief Ronnie Few, several black commissioners and current Director of Purchasing Geri Sams were especially criticized. After years of investigation and findings, many serious charges of impropriety and possible criminal wrongdoing were leveled in the report. Yet nothing has happened. The investigation was recently District Attorney passed off to Danny Craig Georgia’s Attorney General where it languishes in the bureaucracy. Many African-American leaders view the SGJ report as nothing more than an opportunity to embarrass black people and, frankly, many blame Craig. While Hall has his hands full with the swirling issues affecting his district, he must look ahead to next year’s election. He could very easily become a one-term senator and his governor isn’t helping him. Nor is Perdue helping himself very much. This judicial selection could be the last straw for those Republicans who are trying to remain loyal to Perdue while scratching their heads over his decisions. The results of the process have created problems within the GOP and the current strife could turn into mutiny if Perdue makes the wrong final decision on who will be the new judge. The governor’s choice will demonstrate whether he is in tune and in touch with his political party or totally ignorant of the political consequences of his actions. We’ll know soon. His track record isn’t very good. Heard on the Street • While it is doubtful that Craig will be chosen, a couple of people are making it known they would be interested in replacing Craig should he become judge. Insiders report that Republican Party officials will line up solidly behind Assistant District Attorney Bobby Christine who runs the Columbia County office, if he is interested in the position. Christine is currently serving on active duty in Iraq. • Political insiders are saying the judicial short list was released by the Judicial Nominating Commission prior to the governor seeing it and, had Perdue seen the names of the finalists, there may have been changes. If this is “spin” it’s not working. If true it does nothing but illustrate Perdue’s political naivete and/or lack of organization and coordination. What kind of show are they running at the governor’s mansion? — The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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MetroBeat Mind-Boggling Money for Courthouse

hile city leaders have been wringing their hands over the future location of the proposed judicial center, a much larger problem hit them square in the face last week. Augusta will need at least $70 million in order to construct and move into a new judicial center. Currently, the Augusta Commission has about $20 million in savings to go toward building the new facility. Earlier this year, City Administrator George Kolb proposed that the commission ask voters to support giving the city another $20 million for the project from the next phase of sales tax monies. That additional funding would still leave the city with a $30 million shortfall. Where will the commission turn for the extra dough? Probably back to the sales tax trough. So, for those groups hoping to use sales tax monies to construct future projects such as the performing arts center, a new library, an exhibit and trade center or the $89 million sports arena, the fight for funding may soon get even nastier. On July 24, the Augusta Commission and several representatives from the Augusta Judicial Circuit, gathered in the Augusta Museum of History’s auditorium to hear a presentation from the project’s architects – Turner Associates of Atlanta, RicciGreene Associates of New York City and Woodhurst Partnership of Augusta. Rob Fisch, an associate principal for RicciGreene Associates, told the group

that when his firm was first hired to work on Augusta’s judicial center in January, the objective was to design a new, $35 million to $40 million building as an expansion to the existing municipal building on Greene Street. “But the municipal building is inflexible,” Fisch said, referring to the municipal building’s masonry block walls. “It’s a very inefficient layout and the site is less than adequate.” Therefore, the architects decided to study two additional sites: the land around the former train depot along Reynolds Street, which is often referred to as the city’s pension property, and May Park on Fourth Street next to the Law Enforcement Center. After reviewing all three sites, the architects developed a pros and cons list for each. The lists for the municipal building and the May Park site were heavily dominated by negative comments. “The municipal building site is, of the three sites, the most complicated to develop,” said Frank Greene, a principal of RicciGreene Associates. It would be difficult to build around the existing structure and strategically phase the construction of the new addition without disrupting the courts, Fisch said. Most likely the courts would have to be temporarily relocated, he explained. Also, historic buildings around the site would have to be demolished or relocated and the municipal building would experience increased parking problems.

By Stacey Eidson

“And it is the most expensive option,” said Fisch, explaining that the total cost to expand and renovate the municipal building and to cover all the preconstruction expenses and the design fees would be $86.8 million. While the presentation on the municipal building expansion was dismal, the May Park site overview was equally bad. “The biggest pro of this site is it’s big,” Fisch said, referring to the large park area. “And it would also allow for easy access to the highway.” However, Fisch said the city’s recreation department estimates that it would cost approximately $500,000 to replace the community park that serves the surrounding neighborhood. “And if we build it there, the judicial center would also be separated from the central business district by Gordon Highway,” Fisch said. “So, we don’t see this as a catalyst for commercial development in Augusta.” The May Park suggestion was also an expensive proposition at $78.5 million. After the architects discussed the May Park and municipal building properties, it was clear which site the architects preferred. At a cost of approximately $70.9 million, Greene said the Reynolds Street property was by far the best site for the new judicial center. Fisch couldn’t help but laugh when he presented the group with the pros and cons list for the Reynolds Street site. There were 10 pros and only three cons, compared with the other two lists that had eight cons each.

Greene said Reynolds Street is an ideal location because the developers could begin construction without disrupting the community or having to relocate any city departments. “There is no building on the site, other than the old train depot,” Greene said, adding that the city could actually retain the depot and remodel it into office spaces for those judicial departments most often frequented by the public. Greene also said having a seven- to eight-story courthouse on the river large enough to provide the judges with 23 courtrooms, compared with only seven that are available now, would be a great asset to the Riverwalk. “The Riverwalk sort of dead-ends on that side,” Greene said. “It just peters out. There is nothing that anchors it or provides definition at that end.” Augusta Commissioner Andy Cheek told the architects that, while the Reynolds Street property may appear to be the preferred site for the judicial center, there are still a number of problems that need to be addressed concerning that location. “Here we have a facility nearly three times the budgeted amount next to a bridge we can’t afford to repair – that we may soon close,” said Cheek, referring to the Fifth Street bridge located next to the Reynolds Street site. Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays echoed Cheek’s concerns with the Reynolds Street location, adding that on the opposite side of the proposed site are railroad tracks.

“Have we done everything we can to bring this back down to the $20 million figure? We ask all of our departments with new construction to live within their budgeted amount. So, why should this building be any different?” – Augusta Commissioner Andy Cheek

“You have a street that you almost consider half a street because you have a railroad running right down the middle of it,” Mays said. “Folks are going to have limited access coming into that courthouse. So, I’m really trying to figure out how in the dickens you are going to get people in at Fifth Street or Sixth Street.” Cheek asked what happened to the original budget of $20 million for the entire construction of the judicial center. “Have we done everything we can to bring this back down to the $20 million figure?” Cheek asked. “We ask all of our departments with new construction to live within their budgeted amount. So, why should this building be any different?” David Bitter, an associate of Turner Associates of Atlanta, assured Cheeks that the $70.9 million for the judicial center on Reynolds Street would build a functionally efficient and easily accessible courthouse, but nothing too elaborate. “It’s nowhere near a Taj Mahal,” Bitter said. “Well, if you take more than three years of our sales taxes (to fund it), that’s going to be a very unpopular option and could be a killer for our sales tax,” Cheek warned. Augusta Commissioner Bill Kuhlke, who is chairman of the judicial oversight committee, explained that $20 million was never an estimated cost for construction. “We have $20 million in this phase of sales tax and that number was just plugged in,” Kuhlke said. “While we called it a budget, we really didn’t have any hard numbers to work with.” Augusta Commissioner Ulmer Bridges questioned why the May Park location wouldn’t be more desirable, considering it is adjacent to the Law Enforcement Center. “We think it’s important that public perception is that the judiciary is not attached or an arm of law enforcement,” Greene told Bridges. “It should be known that the courthouse is separate and impartial. It’s not just the front door to the jail.” Once the commissioners had finished questioning the architects, Kuhlke asked if there was anyone else in the audience who wanted to comment on the firms’ findings. To the displeasure of several commissioners, a number of the judges who had attended the meeting didn’t say a word. “I need to hear from y’all,” said Mays, turning to the members of the local judicial system. “If you ask me what I want in a funeral home, I can tell you, but I’m going to have to depend on y’all to say what you want in a courthouse.” After several proddings by Mays, Chief Superior Court Judge William Fleming Jr. finally addressed the commission. Fleming said the courthouse, if nothing else, should provide each of the local judges his own courtroom in order to efficiently conduct business. “This is what’s done all over the United States,” Fleming said. “And we were under the impression that the commission supported a site in downtown Augusta. “Now, we are not picking a site. I know I haven’t proposed a site. But it was our understanding that you wanted it downtown.” However, regardless of where the city builds the judicial center, Fleming said the commission needs to be willing to construct a courthouse that will be usable 100 years from now. “Wherever it is you build it ... what we say is, ‘Give us a new courthouse and not some half-way job,’” Fleming said. “Give us something the people can be proud of.”

HEALTH PAGE

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Lymphedema Education Aug. 5 5 p.m. University Breast Health Center Professional Center 2, Suite 205 FREE Registration required. Call 706/774-4141. “Focus on Healing:” Educational program through dance and movement for breast cancer survivors Sponsored by Walton Rehabilitation Hospital and University Breast Health Center Tuesdays, Aug. 5, 12, 19, 26 6-7 p.m. Outpatient Classroom, Walton Rehabilitation Hospital $30 for six-week session To register, call 706/823-5294. Childbirth Preparation Class Tuesdays, Aug. 5-Sept. 9 7-9:30 p.m. University Women’s Center $75 for six-week course Must register 20-24 weeks before due date. Call 706/774-2825.

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Metro Beat

Mays Demands Answers From Kolb

ugusta Commissioner Willie Mays can practically step outside the front door of his funeral home on James Brown Blvd. and observe the progress of Augusta Neighborhood Improvement Corp.’s new office building currently being constructed at 925 Laney Walker Blvd. And lately, Mays said he hasn’t liked what he’s seen. “I’ll just be real blunt about it,” Mays told the Augusta Commission’s administrative services committee on July 28. “Y’all know how I am, I put it out on the table. “I first got concerned when I saw the project moving and then I suddenly saw the speed of the project slow.” The city of Augusta has a great deal of interest in the development of this office building. In May 2002, the Augusta Commission agreed to move two city departments into the ANIC building – the city’s Housing and Neighborhood Development department and Augusta’s fire department. Originally, ANIC’s office building was scheduled to be completed by the end of September 2002. But due to construction delays, the grand opening for the building was moved back to October of this year. Because the building would not be completed until a full year after the original deadline, ANIC offered to pay, as a penalty, the difference between what the city is having to pay now for office space in the Augusta Riverfront Center for the two city departments and the proposed lease price for the ANIC building. According to city records, that penalty for ANIC would have been approximately $9,000 a month. Many commissioners felt charging ANIC that much money each month would cause extreme hardship on the organization. Therefore, in February the commission waived ANIC’s payment obligation. But by forgiving ANIC’s penalty, the city’s housing department was forced to request an increase of $135,000 to this year’s budget to cover the additional 2003 rent. HND Director Warren Smith asked the commission to provide his department with

T I R E D

By Stacey Eidson

“I told Mr. (Jim) Wall I was disgusted because I had not gotten a response from the administrator of this city. And I refused to go down and ask again for one.” – Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays

enough money to cover the rent until the end of December. And according to a private architect hired by the city to oversee the development of the ANIC building, the project may not be completed until January or February 2004. The administrative services committee voted to take the necessary $135,000 from the city’s urban services fund to pay for the rent. The February 2004 forecast for the completion of the ANIC building is an example of some of the concerns Mays said he’s had about the project for almost two months. “Is there something that is delaying this project?” Mays asked the committee. “And if there is, whose side of the fence is smooth running and whose side of it is in the mud? Is everything from the city side and ANIC’s side in place to proceed?” Smith told Mays that ANIC has assured the city that the building will be completed by October. “ANIC is still saying that the building will be ready for occupancy in October,” Smith said. “That’s what they are very clearly saying to us. They are on schedule and there is no problem.” Augusta Fire Chief Al Gillespie agreed, saying he didn’t understand why Mays felt the

building would not be completed on time. “I don’t know where this is coming from personally,” Gillespie said. Mays questioned why it seemed he was hearing people talk out of two sides of their faces. “Well, if nobody is foot-dragging, then why are we asking for money to be taken out of our urban service district (fund) to cover rent?” Mays asked. “Somebody needs to be giving a better answer than they’re giving.” Mays said he tried to get to the bottom of what he saw as a delay in the project two months ago by sending City Administrator George Kolb a memo regarding his concerns. “I issued a memo through the clerk’s office better than two months ago to Mr. Kolb,” Mays said. “And I never heard from the administrator in reference to it. I need to find out if ANIC is slowing down. If we need to put our foot in their behind, then we need to do it. “Because the word on the street is, it is being drug out. I’m just going to throw it out just like I’m hearing it. It’s being drug on purpose so that it won’t work.” Kolb said that he received Mays’ memo, but that those concerns should have been directed to County Attorney Jim Wall because he was the one handling the city’s contract with

ANIC. Kolb added that Wall sent Mays a letter explaining that ANIC’s attorney was, at the time, still reviewing the lease. “I have not been involved in that process,” Kolb said. As soon as Kolb had finished, Mays said he didn’t know what Kolb was talking about. “I appreciate Mr. Kolb saying that Mr. Wall responded in writing,” Mays said, quickly becoming angry. “If he responded in writing, I didn’t get it. He responded to me in person, because I cornered him after I had not gotten a response from you, Mr. Kolb. “And if you felt it was not your duty to respond to me, a commissioner, as the person who handles the day-to-day activities of this city, then you should have responded back in a memo and said, ‘I will have Mr. Wall to respond to you. It is not my shot to call.’” “But as of this date from two months ago that I asked you what was going on in this situation,” Mays added, “I have not yet, until right now, heard from you.” Kolb insisted that Wall had sent Mays a letter regarding the ANIC building. “If Jim Wall had written me, I wouldn’t have had to bother asking him about it,” Mays said. “And for the record ... I told Mr. Wall I was disgusted because I had not gotten a response from the administrator of this city. And I refused to go down and ask again for one.” Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard asked that Kolb invite ANIC Executive Director Robert Cooks and representatives from the city’s HND and fire departments to the next administrative services committee to get a complete update on the progress of the ANIC building. Mays said he hoped by then that the commission would have more answers about the project. “Now, if we’ve got this many folk in a room right now that don’t know where the hell that project is, then I think pink is the order of the day to a point that we can’t get answers,” Mays said, referring to pink slips. “And if fingers are still being pointed across the table, hell I’ll bring the ax to cut everybody’s hand off with. But I think we need to get an answer.”

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Channel 26 Bumps Hit Show

ne caller had just compared John Mann, general manager of WAGT-TV Channel 26, to Saddam Hussein for his decision to “censor” the show. Another man staunchly proclaimed his heterosexuality, but still felt he should have been given the choice to watch it or not. Other phone calls and e-mails trickled into the station and the Metro Spirit from viewers who had planned to watch a pared-down episode of Bravo’s new hit series, “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” on July 24, but instead, were treated to a rerun of “Home Improvement.” Channel 26, the local NBC affiliate, did run the program, but at 2:35 a.m., rather than the scheduled 9:30 p.m. time slot. Mann described the decision he and upper-level staff at the station made to not run the show during the scheduled slot as a “damned if we do and damned if we don’t” situation. “I made the decision after consulting with the staff here and after previewing the program,” Mann said. “If the same

content were in ‘Friends,’ or ‘Law and Order’ or ‘Dateline’ we would have probably made the same decision and chosen to move it. So, it had nothing to do with any homosexual or sexual theme.” “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” involves five gay men who are tasked each episode with giving a straight man a culture and appearance makeover. Each of the five men have their own areas of expertise — Ted Allen, Food & Wine Connoisseur; Kyan Douglas, Grooming Guru; Thom Filicia, Design Doctor; Carson Kressley, Fashion Savant; and Jai Rodriquez, Culture Vulture. The humor derives from the flamboyantly gay men’s interactions with their heterosexual objects of reform. For instance, during the episode in question, when Carson Kressley, the fashion-minded in the quintet, enters the apartment of Brian “Butch” Schepel, an artist with stringy hair and an outdoorsman’s look, he asks, “Do you buy all your clothing at the Home Depot?” Another member of the makeover group quips to Schepel that, after a heavy

settling of dust has blanketed the outside of an uncorked red wine bottle, the contents usually aren’t good anymore. The show contains some funny stuff. If you don’t believe it, ask — well, Mann. “First of all, I’m a big fan of the program,” Mann said. “I think the program is wonderful. I’ve watched it on Bravo and it’s entertaining, and in general, it makes you feel good at the end.” “But,” he added, “there’s a reason it’s on cable.” Mann said that station executives were informed NBC was carrying the Bravo program less than a week before it aired and after date and time commercials for it had run on Channel 26. Also, NBC’s “Today” show had promoted the program and run clips from it. NBC owns the Bravo network. Despite efforts to receive a review copy, Mann said, it wasn’t until the afternoon of July 22 — two days before the show was to air — that station personnel managed to get the episode provided to them, downloaded from satellite.

After viewing the tape, executives decided to “sleep on it” before reaching the decision the following morning to bump back the show, Mann said. Because of contractual obligations to NBC that require Channel 26 to run latenight programming such as “The Tonight Show,” the 2:35 a.m. slot was the earliest time “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” could run in the station’s lineup, Mann said. According to NBC publicity, the special half-hour episode of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” garnered roughly 7 million viewers and held the attention of about 89 percent of the audience for “Will and Grace,” its lead-in. Mann said there were three specific exchanges in “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” that he felt were unacceptable for 9:30 p.m., particularly with kids being out of school for summer and likely staying up later. Mann invited the Metro Spirit to come and view the episode in question. The first situation Mann debated over involved Kressley sorting through Schepel’s dirty laundry piled sloppily in

a closet, using a pair of cooking tongs to retrieve each item. Kressley suddenly finds a dirty jock strap and confirms its lack of laundering by holding it to his face and smelling it. He then carries it into the kitchen and places it in a pot to be boiled. One of the other men suggests they stir-fry it, but with the addition of soy sauce. Another says it looks like there already was soy sauce on it. “Was it soy sauce, or boy sauce?” one of the men asks. “Come on,” Mann exclaimed after we viewed that portion of the show. “And you know, it’s a good 12 seconds (worth of content).” Another scene depicted one of the men being overly anxious to unbutton

Schepel’s pants while they’re trying on clothes. In yet another portion of the show, Schepel emerges from a spray-on tanning booth. Kressley remarks that it looks like he missed a spot and starts to rub Schepel’s buttocks. At the end of the show, having successfully transformed Schepel in time for the opening of his art exhibition, the five men raise their glasses in unison and toast, “Cheers, queers.” Mann said he was also concerned about the term, queer, and consulted with a representative of GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) on her feelings about the word. Mann said Chalee Snorton, Southeastern regional media manager with GLADD,

“If ‘Will and Grace’ showed Will sniffing a dirty jock strap and we knew about it in advance, we would most likely make the same decision.” — John Mann, general manager of WAGT-TV Channel 26.

told him that queer was known as a “reclaimed” term. That is, homosexuals might refer to each other as queer, but it might be a problem if a straight person used that terminology. “In other words, if one of our news anchors said, ‘Five queers were arrested today in the park,’ that would not be a nice thing,” Mann said. Snorton, who has family in Augusta, acknowledged telling Mann that the South has probably been slow to catch on to the reclaimed usage of queer and that it might be offensive to some in the region. However, Snorton said she called back Mann after being told the show had been pushed to 2:35 a.m. “In speaking with John Mann again,” Snorton said, “I encouraged him that if he receives another segment from NBC, to run it at the 9 o’clock slot or the slot that was allotted and let the viewers decide for themselves whether that was appropriate for Augusta.” Snorton said she had received some protest e-mails concerning the matter from gay and straight people in the Channel 26 viewing area. Mann said that any future episodes of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” assuming there are any, will be approved for airing on a “case-by-case basis.” He said this wasn’t the first time that a decision was made by station executives to cancel or push back programming. Several weeks ago, a program created by the men’s magazine Maxim, called “Maxim Hot 100,” was to air immediately after “Fear Factor,” a show with a

roughly 60-percent child/teen viewing audience, Mann said. “And it was an incredibly sexually gratuitous show, primarily heterosexual,” Mann recalled. “And we opted not to air that show, period.” Mann said the biggest outcry came in October when Jay Leno had invited members of an act called “Puppetry of the Penis,” on the “Tonight Show.” “Literally, it was little penis puppets,” Mann said. “But they didn’t actually do it (on the show); they just talked about it.” Mann said the station received 2,800 emails imploring it not to run the program. But Mann opted to run it anyway, and heard little criticism for it afterward. Asked why “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” was perceived to be worse than its lead-in, “Will and Grace,” which also frequently contains sexual innuendo, Mann replied, “You know what? First of all, ‘Will and Grace’ isn’t titled ‘Queer Will and Grace.’ ‘Will and Grace’ is scripted comedy. The other show is allegedly reality. Now the critics have both praised it and some have panned it ... Again, we’re not passing judgment on the quality of the show. There were three content issues ... If ‘Will and Grace’ showed Will sniffing a dirty jock strap and we knew about it in advance, we would most likely make the same decision.” “We didn’t censor,” Mann added. “If we censored, I would have blown the show out (of the programming lineup).”

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16 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 3 1

New Standard, or Medical Hype?

By Brian Neill

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Lexicor Health Systems, which recently located its headquarters here, has made claims its product can diagnose ADD and ADHD with up to 90 percent accuracy. But, some leading physicians and mental health experts don’t buy it.

everal weeks ago, the daily paper and local TV stations carried the story of Lexicor Health Systems, a Boulder, Colo.-based company that was moving its headquarters to Augusta. The company, according to news reports and a press release sent out at the time of the announcement, had begun marketing a device to diagnose Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder with up to 90-percent accuracy. What the media and press release didn’t mention, however, was up until that time, most experts were in agreement that there was no accurate, clinical diagnosis for ADD/ADHD. And some leading physicians and experts insist there still isn’t. One of them is Dr. James Perrin, M.D., chairman of the ADD/ADHD Diagnosis and Treatment Guidelines Implementation Board for the American Academy of Pediatrics. “I was just looking them (Lexicor) up on the Web and they seem to be an EEG (electroencephalogram) maker,” Perrin said by phone. “There may be something there, but I would tend to doubt it. All the evidence we have at the moment is that EEGs have essentially no role to play in the diagnosis of ADHD. “So I’d be extremely surprised to think that

this kind of a company is likely to have even come up with a new technology that’s any different. And I certainly haven’t seen any scientific materials about this.” Stephen Xenakis, M.D. (pictured above), a psychiatrist and co-CEO of Lexicor, shrugged off such criticism. “Well, he’s wrong,” Xenakis said. “But that’s because he hasn’t reviewed the article we’ve submitted for publication.” Xenakis, a retired brigadier general and former commanding general of the Eisenhower VA Medical Center, said he was waiting to hear back from JAMA, the Journal of the American Medical Association, as to whether it intended to publish the article. Dr. Reginald Pilcher, M.D., a local pediatrician in private practice, was also surprised by Lexicor’s claims after being read a company press release that gave a description of the product, the DataLex Indicator Report. The DataLex Indicator Report, according to Lexicor publicity, analyzes Quantitative EEG (QEEG) results gathered through a sensorfilled, nylon cap placed on the patient’s head — a procedure the company calls a Digital Cortical Scan (DCS). “This sounds so far off the wall, it’s unreal,” Pilcher said. “But the problem is, a lot of people are going to buy it and spend a lot of money on it. That’s something I have yet to hear or see any research on. Maybe I missed it somehow, but I

haven’t seen it yet. And the fact that it’s just coming out, it’s smelling pretty fishy.” Xenakis took exception to that remark. “That’s a very unkind, unprofessional remark,” Xenakis said. “I mean, that’s a guy that, before he says something like that should call the company and say, ‘Before I make a remark, let me look at the literature you’ve got,’ and go through the same due diligence that our prospective customers and our customers go through when they decide that they’re going to buy the technology or set up a (testing) center.” But Warren Umansky, Ph.D., a local child therapist and school counselor who’s authored and co-authored books on ADD/ADHD and children with special needs, wonders if

parents will be savvy enough to carry out the due diligence Xenakis espouses. “My concern in the article that was in the local newspaper and on TV stations is that it’s going to give false hopes to parents,” Umansky said. “They’ll say, ‘Wow, here is a definite way of proving that my child has or does not have it and here is a way of solving the problem — a successful treatment for my child.’ And that just isn’t the case. It hasn’t been proven, either experimentally or in real life.” Umansky said he has heard of studies that examined using EEGs and biofeedback for assessing hyperactive and inattentive children, and in fact, provided summaries of some of continued on page 18

“It just takes a while for established practitioners, the ‘Old Guard,’ to change their thinking. Revolutionizing medical practice is not easy.” — Dr. Stephen Xenakis, M.D., co-CEO of Lexicor Health Systems.

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those studies to the Metro Spirit. But Umansky described the research as “scanty” and said that far more study needs to be done before claiming that a product like Lexicor’s can diagnose ADD and ADHD. “This may be it,” Umansky said. “This may be the new standard for diagnosing ADD. But let’s not say that yet.” Umansky said he wrote about EEG and biofeedback procedures in one of his books — under the heading, “Fringe Treatments.” “It is very experimental,” Umansky said. “There have been just a very few studies done that have shown differences in brainwaves in individuals with ADHD versus those who do not have it. And the small number would indicate that there has to be a whole lot more research done before one can say that this is a diagnostic tool. “And the medical groups, the psychiatric groups, psychological groups — the American Psychiatric Association, American Psychological Association, American Medical Association — all have indicated that there is no definitive medical test for ADHD.” These comments still didn’t faze Xenakis. “They just haven’t reviewed the journal articles. I mean, they just haven’t looked at the literature, which has been a problem for a while,” Xenakis said. “I mean, these guys are just uneducated.” However, Xenakis backed off Lexicor’s ADD/ADHD diagnosis claim when asked about a warning letter he received from the Food and Drug Administration in January of this year.

The letter noted “a serious regulatory problem” involving the DataLex product and its promotion as a diagnostic tool. “The FDA interpreted some of our marketing material as indicating that we felt that the tool was diagnostic. And the FDA’s got very strict guidelines about diagnosis,” Xenakis said, when asked about the letter. “They alerted us to that; we made all the corrections and from what we can tell, have met all their criticisms.” So, why is Lexicor still touting its device as a diagnostic tool for ADD/ADHD? “No, I’m not touting it (as that). That’s really important,” Xenakis said. “What we are saying is, that the brainwave pattern correlates with the condition and it is a very, very useful and highly sensitive and specific tool for doctors to use when they’re going through their differential diagnosis and deciding on treating or not treating the child for ADHD.” Still, a portion of a press release just sent out on July 10 by an investment banking group helping to bankroll Lexicor’s product read: “The DCS has the ability to distinguish children and adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) to an accuracy of 90 percent and discriminate those who do not have AD/HD to an accuracy of 94 percent. Use of the DCS device will establish a new medical standard in how AD/HD is evaluated by physicians in the future.” Asked if that statement implied diagnosis, Xenakis replied, “No, it says exactly what it says. That’s why it’s worded exactly that way. Diagnosis implies the entire process that a

Warren Umansky, Ph.D.

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“This sounds so far off the wall, it’s unreal. But the problem is, a lot of people are going to buy it and spend a lot of money on it.” .

— Dr. Reginald Pilcher, M.D., a local pediatrician

physician walks through to identify a condition that then leads to treatment.” “What we’re saying is, that this is a lab test,” he added. “This is like you going and getting your blood tested and you’re having a low hemoglobin. Well, because you have a low hemoglobin doesn’t mean you have anemia, even though the accuracy of that test is probably 90-plus percent.” The DCS device sells for $50,000 and is marketed to physicians, Xenakis said. A patient would pay about $500 for the test, which Xenakis said would be covered by a typical health insurance policy. Pilcher and Umansky, however, said they were skeptical insurance would cover such a procedure. Xenakis said the article his company has presented to JAMA draws from a lengthy analysis into past research of brainwave studies in ADD/ADHD individuals. “Fortunately, what we have is probably a top-notch, what’s called a ‘meta-analysis,’ which is an analysis of the analysis of all the research that is relevant,” Xenakis said. “We have picked 13 studies published since 1997, all published in reputable journals, and analyzed the data and, in fact, confirmed the findings that we are telling people about and we’ve announced.” “No one’s put it together in a report and published a study the way we have.” Xenakis said none of the devices have been sold locally. Though the DataLex report is a relatively new software package Lexicor is marketing, Xenakis said the company has sold about 500 of the devices to conduct the QEEGs over the past decade, mostly to psychologists and a few physicians in Colorado and the Northeast. Supporting the device, Xenakis provided a photocopied letter from a Dr. Azmi Farag, M.D., a family practitioner in Colorado Springs. “Patients are delighted that I am able to provide a thorough investigation of their conditions or the disorders of their children,” Farag wrote. “The QEEG has taken the

guesswork out of evaluating patients and, as a result, they are more likely to comply with medications and treatment given ... How can anyone think twice about an assessment tool that improves his or her practice, protects from liability, and provides a good income?” Farag did not return two phone calls seeking further comment on his use of Lexicor’s equipment. Xenakis also provided a letter from Dr. Peter S. Jensen, M.D., director of the Center for the Advancement of Children’s Mental Health at Columbia University, praising Lexicor’s efforts to get its study published in JAMA. “What a nice paper!” Jensen wrote. “I encourage you to press ahead with the JAMA submission ... I would imagine many families could be more reassured by this test, since it is biologic, might minimize rater bias, and could help to eliminate false positives. I would be glad to assist with your further development of these products and services.” Jensen, whom Xenakis said was on Lexicor’s Scientific Advisory Board, also did not return two calls seeking further comment. Pilcher and Umansky acknowledged that there may be some truth to theories that abnormal brain patterns exist in individuals with ADD and ADHD. Research has long held that individuals with ADD/ADHD have lower activity in the prefrontal cortex of their brains than people without the disorder. Ritalin and other such stimulant drugs are said to work because they stimulate the prefrontal cortex. However, neither Pilcher nor Umansky felt observing such brainwave patterns held any more promise for diagnosing ADD/ADHD than the current practice of interviewing and observing the patient and subjecting him or her to a series of questionnaires, or symptom rating scales, given in various settings. Xenakis referred to such testing as “crude tools” and cited research done by psychologists, Dr. V.J. Monastra, Ph.D, and Joel F. Lubar, Ph.D. that suggests far more accuracy

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— up to 90 percent versus 50 to 75 percent for symptom rating scales — can be arrived at by monitoring the patient’s brainwaves. Monastra and Lubar have conducted studies that, in a sense, help patients train their minds through monitoring brainwave patterns and controlling mental behavior while performing various computer tasks. Some of their research has been published in the journal, Neuropsychology. Pilcher, however, balked at such procedures. “Some people have actually gone to the point where they put a child at a computer all day and they’ll sit there and do little things at the computer and they’ll say they’re ADHD or they’re not,” Pilcher said. “And my feeling on that is, it’s absurd. “Testing and computer deals don’t tell you anything.” Perrin, of the American Academy of Pediatrics, said the healthcare profession could use help in developing a better diagnostic tool for ADD/ADHD, but doubts Lexicor’s product is the answer. “A lot of people are trying to get into this area of improving the diagnosis of ADHD and frankly we could use some help in doing it,” Perrin said. “But unfortunately, not much, despite all these devices, has been shown to be useful.” Xenakis expects such skepticism. Particularly when, as he says, he’s trying to “revolutionize” the medical profession. He used the example of the “pulse oximeter,” a light probe routinely used in hospitals that is attached to the end of a patient’s finger to measure his pulse rate and blood/oxygen saturation level. Xenakis said the medical community first scoffed at the device, and maintained that the only way to assess such information was by drawing blood samples at routine intervals. The pulse oximeter had been around for five years or so before an anesthesiologist saved a patient’s life after one of the devices showed a rapid blood/oxygen saturation drop, Xenakis said. “And that made the national news,” Xenakis said. “And when that hit the national news, it changed everything.” Xenakis thinks the same will hold true with his company’s technology. “The evidence is compelling,” Xenakis said. “We have been very conscientious about making sure that we’ve found doctors that are very well respected in their areas of expertise to review the research.” “It just takes a while for established practitioners, the ‘Old Guard,’ to change their thinking,” Xenakis added. “Revolutionizing medical practice is not easy. The best (physicians and experts) fight revolutionary changes, even if (those changes) are right.”

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nd they’re serving food. It’s your basic bar food – Wings, Burgers and Hot Lions (instead of boring old hot dogs) – but it’s good stuff, says new owner Mike Anglin, who purchased the building five months ago and has been open the past three. While figuring out what changes to make around the place, he decided that it absolutely had to have a kitchen. He put in all new equipment and got it into pristine condition. Surfaces sparkle. “Everything’s run like a kitchen should run,” he said. “Efficiently.” And the coolest of cool things is that it’s open until midnight. Hungry at 11:55? No problem! Pop on into The Lion for a roarin’ good meal. And a roarin’ good time. The Red Lion is an Augusta tradition. As people say, it’s been there “forever.” Anglin breaks that down to 67 years. He really would like to reunite The Red Lion with its old fans, patrons who used to visit during the ‘80s and ‘90s, as well as those who have enjoyed it in all its newer incarnations. But, he said, things are different now. “It’s not the same place they may have come into two, three years ago.” He wants, also, to restore the old pub to its past splendor. “It was the place to be and be seen,” he said. There are, however, the old familiar things that you may recognize about the pub. The atmospheric bar room that takes you back in time to the days of London pubs – or what we Americans like to think they were like. If you take a moment, you can almost see the likes of Sherlock Holmes chilling at a table near one of the brick walls, perhaps smoking his pipe beneath the soft glow of a wall sconce. That is, if Holmes could deal with the raucous good time being had in the next room. While enjoying your Sausage Lion

or Hot Wings you could chill in front of the stage and watch the rock band du jour. It’s like dinner theatre on a budget. Add to that the joy of hanging out with your old friends and making new ones. And of course you can drag those friends upstairs to rack up some balls for a game of pool. That pool room has been upstairs at least since those patrons of the ‘80s have been going there. It’s a great way to unwind after a hard day – or a hard week – at work. Not to mention all the great things they have behind the bar. We asked him what got him interested in The Red Lion. He said that, as a businessman, he knows a winner when he sees one. And a business like this one has a great chance of succeeding. “I’ve got other businesses and I’m looking to make this one a success like the others.” Entertainment is always good business, he said. “People like to go out and have a good time,” he said. “I would ask everyone to come in one time and I’m sure they will be back again.” If you want to stay in the loop and on top of things as far as Red Lion entertainment and specials go, visit http://theredlionpub.net/. For instance, every Monday you’ll find an all-day Happy Hour with $1 domestic drafts, $1.62 well drinks and $1.87 call drinks. On Tuition Tuesday, show your college ID, pay your $5 tuition, and your first three drinks, any three, are free. Check out the Web site for more details. The Red Lion is located at 1936 Walton Way in Augusta, Ga. Just peek behind the red door to see what’s going on. You can contact them at (706) 3640160. They’re open from 5 p.m. until the party ends (or until that 2:30 a.m. ordinance kicks in), Monday through Saturday.

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A Random List of Things To Do: Artists like Wielinga are only a mere fraction of things to see and do. The following is only a sliver of the iceburg. • Role-Playing Round-Robin A panel of celebrity game masters will decide your fate when you take on the iden-

S P I R I T J U L Y 3 1

By Rhonda Jones

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ach year they come from galaxies near and far to meet, mingle and buy. And they all converge in Atlanta, Ga., for Dragon Con. “If you really want to get involved, it’s really an oversized party with people wearing costumes of all kinds of things like ‘Star Trek’ costumes, ‘Star Trek’ costumes. They have famous stars from some of the previous shows that were on TV.” “It’s not really a comic book convention,” said local artist Roel Wielinga, “although they do sell a lot of comic books there. Anything that really has to do with fantasy and science fiction. It’s quite an event to be honest with you.” And that includes lots of contacts for an artist like himself. “I’ll be interviewing game companies to show them my work, meeting a number of models and artists over there. What I’m trying to do is go out and get myself known again. I’ve been out of comic books. I don’t want my name forgotten.” For a number of years, Wielinga worked with a comic series titled “The Seventh System” featuring a warrior named Domonisk. Once upon a time, Wielinga could be seen downtown on Artists’ Row slaving away over a hot canvas in his Studio de Phantasm, perfecting drawing after drawing for the comic book series. But though he’s no longer drawing his own, he hasn’t given up comics altogether. “No, actually, I’ve gone into a different avenue on that one. Right now I’m actually digitally setting up comic books for companies to get them ready for print. So I’ve got my hands into it but I’m not actually setting up comics myself. Just producing them.” This year’s Dragon Con is an avenue for promoting himself as a gaming book illustrator. And, should you decide to go party with the aliens and other interesting people, you can see his work for yourself. “I’ll have a large gallery display. Right now I’ve got 21 illustrations I want to put up.”

M E T R O

Radio Theatre Company gives live-radio style theater presentations. One of their skits is about a phone sex operator who is puzzled over the strange person who keeps breaking into the phone lines. They also do adaptations of books by H.P. Lovecraft and H.G. Wells. They give you only their voices. You do the rest. The Mighty Rassilon Art Players may perform if space permits. Lips Down on Dixie will be there. They are a “Rocky Horror” performance troupe that lives in Atlanta. Other acts will be The Cruxshadows, Ghost of the Robot, Emerald Rose, The Brobdingnagian Bards (say that after three shots of tequila) and The Last Dance. • Hang Out With Vampires Many fans of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” have a rather Pavlovian response to the vampire boy Spike – they drool at the mention of his name. According to the Daily Dragon, Dragon Con’s newsletter, the Spikester, played by James Marsters, is going to be a guest star a the Con this year.

“Rachel Elfwarrrioress” by Roel Wielinga

tity of a pre-rolled character and get yourself tossed into a campaign where your only object will be to stay alive. But once you’re killed (and you most definitely will be) the celebrity game master will put his John Hancock right on your character sheet, along with when and how you were offed. • Costume Contests Galore Well, two anyway. The Masquerade Costume Contest is held in the Hyatt Regency Atlanta Centennial Ballroom on the evening of convention Sunday. There are all kinds of rules and regulations, though, so you may want to drop by the Web site at

www.dragoncon.org and check under the Special Events section for the do’s and don’ts. You know, stuff like, don’t come naked. No explosives. No loaded or illegal weapons. If you are too shy to join in the Masquerade, that does not get you off the hook. If you are in costume, it is open season and contest staff may shoot you. With Polaroids of course. The pix will be posted and judged by popular vote. Beware. • Heckle the Bands That is, if you want your butt potentially kicked. Eight bands are scheduled to play for your entertainment and theirs. Atlanta

• Do Writerly Things Science Fiction legend Ray Bradbury is a returning guest. He penned such works as “The Martian Chronicles” and “Fahrenheit 451.” In addition to that, there will be a writer’s workshop taught by best-selling author of “Star Trek” novels A.C. Crispin. She will give aspiring science fiction writers an overview of how to go about “doing” their craft – what to read, how to publish, different styles of plotting, and more. It will be held Aug. 28-29, which is a day before the convention actually starts. According to the FAQ sheet, that is so the writers may also attend Writers Track programming on Saturday and Sunday. For more information on the writers workshop or other Dragon Con events, visit http://www.dragoncon.org/. If you would like to contact the Dragon Con staff, e-mail them at dragoncon@dragoncon.org or fax them at (770) 909-0112. You may also telephone them at (770) 909-0115. Dragon Con 2003 will be held Aug. 29-Sept. 1 in downtown Atlanta, Ga. Memberships may be purchased through the Web site until Aug. 15. After that, they will be available via TicketMaster and at the gate. Four-day memberships are $75.

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DaysA Week

Arts

Auditions AUGUSTA CHOR AL SOCIETY AUDITIONS for the 2003-2004 season held Aug. 5, 5:30 p.m. at Covenant Presby terian Church, 3131 Walton Way. Openings available for all voice par ts, and singers ages 15 and up are welcome to audition. Please bring a prepared piece; accompanist will be provided. To schedule an audition time, call 826-4713. CUTNO DANCE PERFORMING COMPANY AUDITIONS Aug. 1, 7 p.m. Call 828-3101 for information. AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND rehearses Monday evenings and is looking to fill vacancies on most band instruments. Interested par ties should contact Ben Easter, (803) 2020091 or e-mail bandforaugusta@aol.com. SWEET ADELINES PEACH STATE CHORUS OPEN REHEARSAL for singers each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Church of Christ, 600 Mar tintown Rd. in Nor th Augusta. They are on the lookout for voices in the lower ranges. Contact Mary Norman at (803) 279-6499.

Education

lessons available for musical instruments and voice; instructors are USC-Aiken faculty and have at least a master’s degree in their per formance area. (803) 641-3288.

Exhibitions LIBERTY ART SHOW, Aug. 1-2 in downtown Waynesboro. For more information, contact Vanessa, 437-0204, or Elizabeth, 554-2963. WORKS BY ETHAN BROCK will be on display at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History Aug. 1-30. Opening reception to be held Aug. 3, 3 p.m., in the museum’s conference room. Call 724-3576. DISPLAY BY THE AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE EMBROIDERER’S GUILD OF AMERICA will be at the Friedman Branch Library in August. 736-6758. ART BY ARLENE DENGEL will be at the Gibbs Library in August. Call 863-1946. PAINTINGS BY DIANE DAVIS go up at the Euchee Creek Library throughout the month of August. Call 556-0594 for details. “PICTURES FOR MISS JOSIE,” collages and drawings by Benny Andrews, will be at the Mary Pauline Gallery through Aug. 16. For more information, call 724-9542.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCE CLASSES Saturdays at the Aiken Center for the Ar ts, 122 Laurens St. Beginners and experienced dancers welcome. For information, contact Marilynn Knight at marilynnk@scchamber.net or Brenda Sleasman, (803) 641-9094.

THE WALTER O. EVANS COLLECTION OF AFRICAN-AMERICAN ART on view at the Morris Museum of Ar t through Aug. 10. Call 724-7501 for details.

ISRAELI DANCE WORKSHOP at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sunday af ternoons, 4-5 p.m. Open to teens and adults; no experience or par tners are necessary. Cost is $2 per session, with the first session free. For information or to schedule a pre-class beginner/refresher session, contact Jackie Cohen, 738-9016.

“A HARLEM RENAISSANCE” per formance by Cutno Dance Centre for Dance Education Aug. 3, 2 and 3 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Call 828-3101.

PAPERMAKING WORKSHOP July 31, 1 p.m., at the Augusta Museum of History. Open to the public and free of charge. Reservations are required. There will also be a special morning session only open to local educators and ar tists. Call 722-8454 for information and reservations. ART CLASSES AND WORKSHOPS are offered year-round at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Classes and workshops are open to toddlers through adults and feature instruction in drawing, painting, photography, pot tery, weaving and sculpture. For a newslet ter or detailed information on registering for classes at the Ger trude Herber t, call 722-5495. The Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t also offers educational tours; for information, contact the education director at the above telephone number. ART CLASSES FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS at the Ar t Factory. The Ar t Factory also has a homeschool program and scholarships are available. Available programs include voice lesson and pantomime workshops, as well as classes in dance, theater, music, visual ar ts and writing. Call 7310008 for details. USC-AIKEN MUSIC CONSERVATORY PROGRAM now open. Students of all ages and experience levels welcome. Private

Dance THE AUGUSTA INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE CLUB meets Thursday evenings at 7:30 p.m. No par tners are needed and newcomers are welcome. Line and circle dances are taught. For location information, call 737-6299. THE DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE held the first Saturday of every month, 7-9 p.m., at the Unitarian Church of Augusta, honors the religious traditions of the world through song and movement. Call (803) 643-0460 for more information. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE UNITED STATES AMATEUR BALLROOM DANCERS ASSOCIATION holds a dance the first Saturday of each month, from 7:15-11 p.m. Cost is $7 for members and $10 for non-members. Held at the BPOE Facility on Elkdom Cour t. Contact Melvis Lovet t, 733-3890, or Jean Avery, 863-4186, for information. CSRA/AUGUSTA BOGEY-WOOGIE DANCE AND SOCIAL GROUP meets every Wednesday at 6:45 p.m. at A World of Dance Studio. Couples, singles and newcomers are welcome. The group also offers beginner shag lessons all summer. For information, phone 650-2396. SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults. Held at Westside High School. Tickets $5 for members, $7 for non-members and are available at the door. For more information, contact Doris Heath, 736-3376.

If you missed “The Hours” in theatres, here’s your chance to view it for free as part of the August Film Series at the Main Library. Film starts at 6:30 p.m. Aug. 5.

Music SHAWN GALLAWAY’S MULTI-MEDIA PRODUCTION OF “I CHOOSE LOVE” with percussionist Eddy Greene Aug. 8, 7:30 p.m., at the Savannah Rapids Pavilion. Tickets are $10 at the door. For more information, visit www.shawngallaway.com. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE event at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza Aug. 9, 23 7-11 p.m. Free admission. Live enter tainment, food and other fun is planned. Call Riverwalk Special Events for details, 821-1754. NEWSONG’S SUMMER JAM 2003 will be at the Bell Auditorium Aug. 2, 7 p.m. Per formances by NewSong, Tait, Natalie Grant, Detour 180, Todd Agnew, Royal Ruckus and Mizzie. Tickets are $10 at the door. For information, call 722-3521, ex t. 3. UNLEASHED TOUR, STARRING BOW WOW, comes to the Bell Auditorium Aug. 7, 6 p.m. Tickets are $31 for floor seating, $26 for first and second balcony seating and $21 for third balcony seating. Tickets are available at the Civic Center box of fice or through TicketMaster, 828-7700. MUSIC ON THE RIVER Aug. 1, 8, 15, 22 and 29, 7 p.m., at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre. Contact Riverwalk Special Events, 821-1754. SOULFUL SATURDAYS with live soul music, spoken word and theatrical per formances through Aug. 30. Held at the Jessye Norman Amphitheatre, 8-9:30 p.m. Admission is $5. For information, call 821-1754. RIVERWALK JAZZ CANDLELIGHT CONCERT SERIES Sundays through Aug. 24, 8-9:30 p.m. at Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Bulkhead. Schedule is as follows: Soul Bar Jazz Quar tet, Aug. 3; Jazz-a-ma-tazz, Aug. 10; Quiet Storm, Aug. 17; Josef Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express, Aug. 24. Admission is $5 per concer t, or you may purchase season tickets for $50. Bring a blanket or lawn chair and a picnic basket. Rain location is the meeting room at Rio Bomba. For information, call Riverwalk Special Events at 821-1754.

DOWNTOWN LUNCH DATE July 31 and Aug. 7, 14, 21 and 28, noon-2:30 p.m., at Augusta Common. Bring a lunch or eat lunch catered by the featured restaurant while listening to live music. 821-1754. HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES continues Aug. 4 with a per formance by Crossroads. All concer ts begin at 7 p.m. on the Windham Per forming Ar ts Stage at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken. In the event of rain, concer ts will be held in Gym 2 at the H.O. Weeks Center. Free admission. Call (803) 642-7631 for information.

Theater “INTO THE WOODS” will be presented by Augusta Players Youth Theatre 7 p.m. Aug. 7-8 and 5 p.m. Aug. 9 at Episcopal Day School. Tickets are $12 adult, $10 students and seniors and $8 for children 12 and under and are available at the door. For more information, call 826-4707. “THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST” membersonly per formance by the Aiken Community Playhouse Aug. 8-10 and 15-16. Held at the Washington Center for the Per forming Ar ts in Aiken, S.C. Call (803) 648-1438. “GET SMART” will be per formed by the Young Ar tists Reper tory Theatre Aug. 1-3 at Augusta Prep. Shows held at 8 p.m. Aug. 1-2 and 3 p.m. Aug. 2-3. For more information, call 373-0605. SEASON TICKETS FOR THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS 2003/2004 MAINSTAGE SEASON now on sale. Shows include “Grease,” “Annie,” “Evita” and “The Wiz.” Season ticket packages range from $75-$124, with additional packages including the Glass Slipper Ball annual fundraiser in October. For more information, visit www.augustaplayers.com or call 826-4707. COMEDIAN MIKE EPPS will per form at the Bell Auditorium Aug. 1, 8 p.m. Tickets are $36.50 for floor and first balcony seating and $29.50 for second and third balcony seating. Tickets are available at the Civic Center box of fice or through TicketMaster, 828-7700.

“HIDDEN IN THE GROUND: THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN 23 PLANTATION EXPERIENCE” 30-minute film will play continuously in the History Theatre at the Augusta M Museum of History throughout August. Call 722-8454. E

“OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS” will be per formed at the Abbeville Opera House in Abbeville, S.C., Aug. 1-2, 8-9, 15-16 and 22-23 at 8 p.m. Matinees are Aug. 2, 9, 16 and 23 at 3 p.m. Admission is $15 for adults and $14 for youth (ages 4-12), seniors (65 and up) and groups of 10 or more. (864) 459-2157.

“RETURN OF THE DINOSAURS” exhibit at For t Discovery through Sept. 21. A group of animatronic dinosaurs will be on display in the Knox Gallery. Admission to the exhibit is free with paid general admission to For t Discovery. For information, call 821-0200 or 1-800-325-5445.

Attractions

THE GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART in Ware’s Folly exhibits works by local and regional ar tists. Ar t classes, workshops and other educational programming for children, youth and adults are held in the Walker-Mackenzie Studio. Ware’s Folly galleries open Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thursday, 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; and Saturday by appointment only. The Walker-Mackenzie Studio gallery is open Tuesday-Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Admission is free, but a donation of $2 for adults and $1 for children and seniors is encouraged. Call 722-5495 for more info.

AUGUSTA CANAL INTERPRETIVE CENTER: Housed in Enterprise Mill, the center contains displays and models focusing on the Augusta Canal’s functions and importance to the textile industry. Hours are Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., 1-6 p.m. Admission is $5 adult, $4 seniors and military and $3 children ages 6-18. Children under 6 admitted free. For information, visit www.augustacanal.com or call 823-0440. THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house. 419 Seventh Street. Open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Tues.-Sat. Tours available; groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 adults, $4 seniors, $3 students under 18 and free for ages five and under. 722-9828. AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions. Group discount rates available. Closed Mondays; open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tues.-Sat.; open from 1 to 5 p.m. on Sunday. New spring and summer hours begin March 21: open Tues.-Sat. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. and Sundays 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4 to 12); free for children 3 and under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. Call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org. NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER’S FORT DISCOVERY: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 250 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Operating hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m.

Don’t miss NewSong’s Summer Jam 2003 Aug. 2 at the Bell Auditorium. NewSong (pictured), Tait, Natalie Grant, Detour 180, Todd Agnew, Royal Ruckus and Mizzie will perform. Call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

for tours is $10 for adults and $5 for children ages 12 and under. Reservations are suggested. Call 724-4067.

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Hours are 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Thursday-Monday on the grounds. House tours are noon-3 p.m. by appointment. Closed Tuesday and Wednesday. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6 to 17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Open Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700. HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. Riverwalk. Free. The center also offers guided driving tours of downtown Augusta and Summerville every Saturday through Aug. 4 from 1:30-3:30 p.m. and at other times upon request. Cost

Museums SENIOR LUNCHEON AT THE LUCY CR AFT LANEY MUSEUM OF BLACK HISTORY Aug. 13, 11:30 a.m.12:30 p.m. Saudia Law ton will be the guest speaker. Luncheons are $6 per person. For reservations, contact Kelvin Jackson, 724-3576. “THE BLACK AESTHETIC IN AMERICAN ART HISTORY: A WALKING TOUR” Aug. 10 at the Morris Museum of Ar t. Free admission. Tour star ts at 2 p.m. 724-7501.

THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY hosts permanent exhibition “Augusta’s Story,” an award-winning exhibit encompassing 12,000 years of local history. For the younger crowd, there’s the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery, where kids can learn about history in a hands-on environment. The museum also shows films in the History Theatre and hosts a variety of programs. Located at 560 Reynolds Street. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5 p.m. Admission is $4 adult, $3 seniors, $2 kids (6-18 years of age) and free for children under 6. Free admission on Sundays. Call 722-8454 or visit www.augustamuseum.org for more information. THE MORRIS MUSEUM OF ART hosts exhibitions and special events year-round. Open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays, noon-5 p.m. Closed on Mondays and major holidays. 1 Tenth Street, Augusta. Call 724-7501 or visit www.themorris.org for details. THE MUSEUM OF LAUREL AND HARDY OF HARLEM, GEORGIA features displays of various Laurel and Hardy memorabilia; films also shown. Located at 250 N. Louisville Street in downtown Harlem. Open 1-4 p.m. ThursdayMonday. For more information, call 556-3448. LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information.

T R O S P I R I T

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Exhibits, programs and events honoring the 25th anniversary of the Georgia Music Hall of Fame awards. Call 1-888-GA-ROCKS for info.

M E T R O

COWPAR ADE ATLANTA features over 200 life-sized, fiberglass cows painted by local ar tists and placed throughout Atlanta. The cows will be on public display through Sept. 14. For information, call (404) 898-2915 or visit www.cowparadeatlanta.com.

S P I R I T

GEORGIA SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL runs through Nov. 2 with per formances of “Much Ado About Nothing,” “The School for Wives,” “The Tale of Cymbeline” and “The Tempest.” Tickets are $23-$32, with special $10 preview shows. Held at the Conant Per forming Ar ts Center on the campus of Oglethorpe University in Atlanta. Call (404) 264-0020 for information.

J U L Y

REEDY RIVER NIGHTTIME CONCERT SERIES through Aug. 28 at the Peace Center Amphitheatre in Greenville, S.C. Free. (864) 467-6667.

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SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK festival through Aug. 3 in Greenville, S.C. Plays presented by Warehouse Theatre. Call (864) 235-6948. ON THE BRICKS concer t series continues Fridays through Aug. 22 at Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta. Aug. 1 concer t features Nickel Creek, Franky Perez, Josh Kelley, Jackson Sneed and Antigone Rising. Tickets are $3 per show or $25 for 12. Kids 5 and under get in free. Gates open at 5:30 p.m. Purchase tickets by phone at 1-800-594-TIX X or online at www.onthebricks.com.

“A Harlem Renaissance” will be performed by the Cutno Dance Centre for Dance Education Aug. 3 at the Morris Museum of Art.

Special Events ALFRED HITCHCOCK FILM SERIES on Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. throughout August at the Nancy Carson Library. No registration required and admission is free. For more information, contact Derek Marshall or Jennie Elliot t, (803) 279-5767. BOOK-SIGNING at Borders Books and Music Aug. 2, 6-8 p.m. Sean Mann will sign copies of “Streekler Boglash: Through the Multidimensional Microwave” and “Streekler Boglash: The Vor tex Elevator and the Genetic Mutating Star fish.” 737-6962. MISS AUGUSTA SCHOLARSHIP PAGEANT Aug. 9, 7 p.m., at the ASU Per forming Ar ts Theatre. For more information, e-mail pageantinfo@augusta.com or call 733-8927. AT SPIRIT CREEK EDUCATIONAL FOREST: A Walk in the Woods, 9-11 a.m. Aug. 5, is free; Night Hike, 89:30 p.m. Aug. 4, is $1; Monarch But ter fly Workshop, 8:30 a.m.-3 p.m. Aug. 9, is free. For registration information, call 790-2351. METEOR SHOWER WALK Aug. 12, 9-11 p.m. at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park. Contribution is $3 for members and $5 for non-members. Register by Aug. 11. Call 828-2109. FIRST FRIDAY GREAT DANE PAR ADE, Aug. 1, is open to all big dogs and big dogs at hear t. Meet in front of the Metro Cof feehouse at 7 p.m. For more information, e-mail tohntohn@knology.net or call 294-3724. FIRST FRIDAY: AN EVENING IN THE GARDENS Aug. 1 at Augusta Golf and Gardens. Enjoy musical enter tainment and food from 5-8 p.m. for more information, contact Beda Johnson, 724-4443, or Tracy Wasden, 828-3865. AUGUST FILM SERIES at Headquar ters Library. All films star t at 6:30 p.m. and admission is free. Aug. 5 showing of “The Hours,” Aug. 12 showing of “Y Tu Mama Tambien,” Aug. 19 showing of “Frida,” Aug. 26 showing of “Lone Star.” Call 821-2600 for information. SATURDAY MARKET ON BROAD: Main Street Augusta is seeking farmers and vendors in the CSRA to market homemade and homegrown products in downtown Augusta on Saturday mornings from August-October, 2003. For an application or more information, contact Chris Naylor, 722-8000, or Sheri Chambers, 664-1054.

SWAMP SATURDAY at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park Aug. 2, 9:30 a.m. One-and-a-half hour tour through the park; dress appropriately for the weather and for walking, and bring insect repellent, sunscreen, water, cameras and binoculars. Free; donations are accepted. 828-2109. FORT GORDON JULY RETIREMENT REVIEW July 31, 9:30 a.m., in Alexander Hall. Open to the public. For more information, call 791-6001. PEACE VIGIL every Saturday until U.S. troops come home, noon-2 p.m. at the corner of Wrightsboro and Walton Way Ex t., near the Army Reserve Office. For more information, contact Denice Traina, 736-4738. MCDUFFIE FRIENDS OF ANIMALS holds pet adoptions each Saturday, 1-3 p.m. at Superpetz on Bobby Jones Expressway. Call 556-9090 or visit www.pet finder.com. COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m-3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1-4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS hold pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1- 4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. Call the shelter at 790-6836. THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. 261-PETS.

Out of Town “THE SHAKESPEARE COMEDY SPECTACULAR,” featuring per formances of “The Taming of the Shrew,” “All’s Well That Ends Well,” “Twelf th Night,” “The Merry Wives of Windsor” and “Much Ado about Nothing,” will be at the New American Shakespeare Tavern in Atlanta throughout August and September. For more information, visit www.shakespearetavern.com or call (404) 874-5299.

AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens, Ga.: “Old Worlds, New Lands,” through Aug. 31; “Becoming a Nation: Americana From the Diplomatic Reception Rooms, U.S. Depar tment of State,” through Aug. 31; “‘Leaves Have Their Time To Fall...’: Reflections of Mourning in 19th Century Decorative Ar ts,” through Sept. 14; “Af ter Many Years: The Paintings of Wilmer W. Wallace and Lamar Dodd,” Aug. 2-Sept. 14. Call (706) 542-4662.

DIXIE REIGNING HORSE SHOW Aug. 8-10 at the Georgia National Fairgrounds and Agricenter in Perry, Ga. Call (229) 423-2137 for information.

HARDEEVILLE (S.C.) MOTOR SPEEDWAY 2003 R ACING SCHEDULE is Aug. 9, 16 and 30. For information, call (843) 784-RACE.

76TH ANNUAL MOUNTAIN DANCE AND FOLK FESTIVAL Aug. 1-2 at the Diana Wor tham Theatre in Asheville, N.C. (828) 452-0152.

THE HIGH MUSEUM OF ART’S FOLK ART AND PHOTOGRAPH GALLERIES host two exhibitions through Aug. 9: “Land of Myth and Memory: Clarence John Laughlin and Photographers of the South” and “Faces and Places: Picturing the Self in Self-Taught Ar t.” Call (404) 577-6940.

“THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE” will be per formed Aug. 5-10 at Theater of the Stars in Atlanta. Call (404) 817-8700 or visit www.ticketmaster.com. PURPLE MARTIN TWILIGHT TOUR Aug. 6 at Dreher Island State Recreation Area in Prosperity, S.C. Register by the Friday prior to the program by calling (803) 364-4152. BODY MIND SPIRIT EXPO Aug.2-3 at Holiday Inn Mariet ta in Atlanta features lectures and booths by spiritual healers, chiropractors, astrologers, massage therapists, angelic counselors and more. Admission is $8. For more information, visit www.bmse.net or call (541) 482-3722. GEORGIA MOUNTAIN FAIR Aug. 6-17 in Hiawassee, Ga. Admission is $7; children under 10 get in free. Live enter tainment is included in the ticket price. Call (706) 896-4191 or visit www.georgia-mountain-fair.com. CUTTING HORSE SHOW Aug. 7-10 at the Georgia National Fairgrounds and Agricenter in Perry, Ga. Call (770) 943-4929 for information. BIG DADDY FISHING EVENT Aug. 2 at Santee State Park in Santee, S.C. Call (803) 854-2408 for information. GULLAH GOSPEL SUMMER CONCERT July 31, Aug. 7 and 14, 8 p.m. at the Ar ts Center of Coastal Carolina on Hilton Head Island, S.C. The Hallelujah Singers per form. Tickets are $26 adult and $13 for children under 16 years of age. Call (843) 842-ARTS for ticket information. ATLANTIS MUSIC CONFERENCE AND SHOWCASE in various venues throughout Atlanta through Aug. 2. For more information, visit www.atlantismusic.com or call (770) 499-8600.

Benefits 2003 RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE CHARITIES OF AUGUSTA GOLF MAR ATHON Aug. 4 at West Lake Country Club. For more information, contact Vikki, 724-5901. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetar y donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.-Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 790-6836 for information. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. The blood center is urging people of all blood types to donate in order to combat a blood supply shor tage. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 6437996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations. AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

Learning

THE GR ANDFATHER MOUNTAIN HIGHLANDERS perform Aug. 10, 4 p.m., at the Blowing Rock Memorial Park in Blowing Rock, N.C. For more information, contact the Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce at (828) 295-7851.

2003 ATLANTA BUCKAR AMA Aug. 1-4 at the Atlanta Expo Center features exhibits, speakers and more. Admission is $7 adult, $4 seniors and kids 6-12 years of age and free for kids under 6. For more information, contact Doug Rithmire, (770) 787-7887.

POWERPOINT COMPUTER TRAINING: BEGINNERS AND INTERMEDIATE Aug. 9 and 23, 1-3 p.m., at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275 for more information.

“WILL ROGERS FOLLIES” will be presented at Theater of the Stars in Atlanta Aug. 12-17. (404) 252-8960.

“THE ART OF LYON HILL: THE MYSTERY AND MECHANICS OF MARIONETTES” through Aug. 18 at the Sumter Gallery of Ar t in Sumter, S.C. Call (803) 775-0543.

BASIC MICROSOFT WORD COMPUTER TRAINING Tuesdays, Aug. 12-Sept. 9 and Thursdays, Aug. 14-Sept. 11 at the Wallace Branch Library. 722-6275.

“A SALUTE TO 25 YEARS OF THE GEORGIA MUSIC HALL OF FAME AWARDS” runs through Jan. 18, 2004, at the Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Ga.

SPOKEN HEBREW LESSONS at the Augusta Jewish Community Center Sundays, 3:30-5 p.m., Aug. 3-Sept. 14. Cost is $75. Call 228-3636 to register.

“RUINS AND RECONSTRUCTIONS: RECENT DR AWINGS AND SCULPTURE BY BRIAN RUST” exhibition at Bank of America Plaza in Atlanta through Oct. 2. Open 8 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Friday and by appointment. Free admission. For more information, call (404) 816-9777.

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COMPUTER TRAINING 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. every 26 EXCEL other Wednesday star ting Aug. 6 at the Wallace Branch

Cour tship of Senorita Florabella” Feb. 24-29 and “Hansel and Gretel” April 13-17. Season tickets for weekday school performances are $9 per student; season tickets for weekend family matinees are $10.50 per person. For reservations, call Storyland Theatre at 736-3455 or fax a request to 736-3349.

Library. Call 722-6275 for registration information.

M E T AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is R now offering the following classes: stained glass, ice skatO ing, yoga, beginning shag, belly dance, introduction to the S P I R I T J U L Y 3 1 2 0 0 3

YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGRAM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576.

world of wine, drivers education and more. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: Microsof t PowerPoint XP, Adobe Photoshop 6.0, Microsof t cer tified technical education training, health care courses, infant massage, rape aggression defense, S.C. childcare training system, defensive driving, driver education, motorcycle safety and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m. to noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors

Health

FIT 4 EVER LIGHT IMPACT FITNESS CLASS is $25 for 12 tickets for Aiken cit y residents and $45 for all others. Classes are held at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, 10-11 a.m. Call (803) 642-7631 for information.

RESEARCH-BASED STRESS REDUCTION PROGRAM at St. Joseph Wellness. Call 729-6309 for more information. HATHA YOGA with Tess Stephens at the St. Joseph Wellness Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Daytime classes held from 10 a.m.-noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Evening classes held from 5:30-7:30 p.m. Monday and Wednesday and also 6:30-8:30 p.m. Tuesday and Thursday. Cost is $60 per month for unlimited classes or $10 per class. For more information, contact Tess at 738-2782. FREE HATHA AND KRIYA YOGA CLASSES at Christ Church Unity. Hatha Yoga classes Mondays and Wednesdays, 9-10:30 a.m.; meditation-focused Kriya Yoga Tuesdays 6-7:30 p.m. Voluntary of ferings are accepted. Call 738-2458 for more information. THE MCG BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets the third Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. and provides education and suppor t for those with breast cancer. For information, call 721-1467. DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule. PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Aug. 5 lecture is on “ADHD and the Role of the Student Suppor t Team.” Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center. Call 721-6838 for information. UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Suppor t groups and health screenings are also offered. Call 736-0847 for details. PEACHCARE FOR KIDS AND RIGHT FROM THE START MEDICADE offers free or low-cost health coverage to qualifying families. Coverage includes prenatal care, hospitalization, vaccines, dental and vision care and is available to pregnant women of all ages and to children through age 19. Contact the RSM Project at 729-2086 or 721-5611 for information. YOGA CLASSES at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-8 a.m. for $45/month or 10:30 a.m. to noon for $55/month. Call 823-6294.

“First Friday: An Evening in the Gardens” will be held Aug. 1 at Augusta Golf and Gardens. Enjoy the beauty of the gardens, as well as live musical entertainment and food. FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4-7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous testing, pre- and post-test counseling and education. A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St. Services include Pap smear, breast exam and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444. W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee. Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

Kids CHILDREN’S STORYTIME at Borders Books and Music Aug. 4, 11 a.m. with reading of “Curious George Visits the Zoo.” For more information, call 737-6962. AUGUST FAMILY FUN DAY at the Augusta Museum of History Aug. 10, 2 p.m. The program features guided tours of the museum’s “Augusta’s Story” exhibit. Free admission. Call 722-8454 for more information. GIRLS INCORPORATED OF THE CSRA AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM begins Aug. 12 and runs through May 21, 2004. Open to girls currently enrolled in kindergar ten through high school. In addition to offering specialized programs, Girls Incorporated offers van pick-up at select schools, neighborhood drop-off, homework room and a hot evening meal. Registration opens Aug. 4. For information, call 733-2512. NATIONAL KIDS’ DAY event to promote quality time between parents and kids Aug. 3, 2-4 p.m., at the Odell Weeks Center in Aiken. Free and open to the public. For more information, call (803) 641-4146.

ANIMAL TRACKS WORKSHOP Aug. 6, 9-11 a.m., at Spirit Creek Educational Forest. Free. Call 790-2351 for info. BACK-TO-SCHOOL BALL hosted by Teens in Action with Goals Aug. 2, 8 p.m., at the Henry H. Brigham Community Center Gymnasium. Formal at tire is welcome. Tickets are $5 per person; make reservations by calling 792-1088. BACK-TO-SCHOOL STORYTIME FOR ALL AGES Aug. 4, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. 722-6275. SPECIAL STORYTIME FOR ALL AGES: HIV/AIDS AWARENESS with story teller Gloria Allen and Sandra Wimbley of the Richmond County Health Depar tment. Held 10:3011:30 a.m. Aug. 6 at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275. SHOWING OF “THE LITTLE MERMAID” for children of listening age Aug. 4, 10:30 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Call 736-6758 for information. BACK-TO-SCHOOL PUPPET SHOW with Bret Hupp 10:30 a.m. Aug.1 at Headquar ters Librar y. For info, call 821-2600. CRAFT WORKSHOP WITH SHEMARIAHA FARMER July 29, 10 a.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Open to children ages 7-11. Registration is required; call 736-6758. STORYTIME AT PENDLETON Thursdays throughout July, 10:30-11 a.m., at Pendleton King Park, 1600 Troupe St. Bring a blanket or chairs and meet at the gazebo. For more information, contact Kay Mills, 738-4321, or Kimberly Cooper, 821-2631. SUMMER ADVENTURES DAY CAMP runs in sessions through Aug. 8. Cost is $90 for Sessions 1-4; Session 5 is $45. Open to kids ages 5-12. Held at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call (803) 642-7631 for information. SUMMER FUN DAY CAMP through Aug. 8, running in twoweek sessions, at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center in Aiken. Open to children ages 4-12. Cost is $60 per session; out-ofcity residents pay an additional $27.50. (803) 642-7635. STORYLAND THEATRE is now taking reservations for the 2003-2004 season: “Sleeping Beauty” Oct. 28-Nov. 1, “The

THE CARE MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT COMPANY, a nonprofit organization, provides transpor tation for seniors who live in the 30906 and 30815 zip code area. For a minimal fee, door-to-door shut tles provide safe, clean and dependable transpor tation 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Appointments must be made 24 hours in advance; call Linda Washington, 733-8771, or leave a message for more information. COMPUTER CLASSES FOR SENIOR CITIZENS Tuesdays and Thursdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at Shiloh Comprehensive Community Center. For more information, call 738-0089. AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, ar ts and craf ts, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631. JUD C. HICKEY CENTER FOR ALZHEIMER’S CARE provides families and caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia a break during the day. Activities and care available at the adult day center, and homecare is available as well. For information, call 738-5039. THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288. THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, crochet, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, drama club/readers theatre and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480. SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

Sports FAMILY Y FALL IN-LINE HOCKEY PROGR AMS are now accepting registration. Programs are available for ages 4-17. For more information, contact Donna Pope, 364-3269, or Winn Crenshaw, 733-1030.

AUGUSTA TELEPHONE Celebrating 20 Years

Thank You CSRA 868-5100

Cooper Cliatt

FAMILY Y FALL SOCCER REGISTR ATION: Marshall Branch registration through Aug. 2 for children 4-5 years old as of Aug. 1, 2003, 364-3269; Southside Branch registration Aug. 18-29 for children 4-5 years old as of Aug. 1, 2003, 738-6680. AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS HOME GAMES Aug. 6-13, 18-19, 28-31 and Sept. 1. Tickets are $6-$8 for adults; $5 for senior citizens, military personnel and children 4-12; and $1 for children 3 and under. For tickets, visit www.tixonline.com or call 736-7889. INTRODUCTORY AND DROP-IN CLIMBING Fridays, 5:306:30 p.m., at the Virginia Acres Park Climbing Wall in Aiken. Cost is $5 per session. Call (803) 642-7631 for information. THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 79 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or e-mail augustar fc@yahoo.com. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

Volunteer

subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings

COMMUNITY PUBLIC INFORMATION FORUM regarding the reopening of Highway 56 railroad crossing July 31, 6 p.m., at the McBean Community Center, 1155 McBean Rd. For information, call 821-1820.

Weekly

NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUP for relatives and friends of drug abusers. No dues or fees. The group meets Mondays at 7 p.m. in Room 430 of the Summerville Building beside St. Joseph’s Hospital. For information, contact Kathy, 650-0947, or Josie, 414-5576.

SOUTHERNCARE HOSPICE SERVICE is currently seeking volunteers to per form a variety of tasks, including relieving caregivers, reading to patients and running errands. Training is included. For additional information, contact Lisa Simpson, (803) 463-9888 or 869-0205.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: For more information and a meeting schedule, call 860-8331.

WORLD HERITAGE FOREIGN EXCHANGE PROGRAM is looking for area families, couples and single parents to host highschool-aged foreign exchange students for a semester or a year in the U.S. For more information, visit www.world-heritage.org or contact Beth Folland, (803) 279-2696 or 1-800888-9040. THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed at 481-0105 or kodfoundation@aol.com. GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, Monday-Friday, to help sor t donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 7361199, ex t. 208. THOROUGHBRED RACING HALL OF FAME DOCENT TRAINING DAY Aug. 11. Duties include opening and closing the Hall of Fame, greeting visitors and providing information about museum exhibits. Call Lisa Hall, (803) 642-7650 for information. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule

DUI

Free Phone Call

2856 Washington Rd. 73-STEAK 1654 Gordon Hwy. 796-1875

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS 12-Step Recovery Program meets Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays in Augusta and Saturdays in Waynesboro. No dues or fees. For meeting times and places, call 278-5156.

SERVICE CORPS OF RETIRED EXECUTIVES (SCORE) provides counseling and mentoring to businesspeople star ting up a new business or expanding an ongoing business. Services are provided free of charge. For more information, call the Augusta of fice at 793-9998.

CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY NEW VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION PROGRAM the third Saturday of every month at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Orientation star ts at 11 a.m. Volunteers under 18 years of age must have a parent or guardian present during orientation and while volunteering. Call 261-PETS for information.

1987-2002

THE AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB meets the first Tuesday of every month in the Alamo Room at Lone Star on Washington Road. Social begins at 6:30 p.m. with the meeting beginning at 7 p.m. For more information, call (803) 279-6186.

“A COURSE IN MIRACLES” DISCUSSION GROUP meets Wednesdays, 7 p.m., at Christ Church Unity to explore writings on spirituality and inner peace. Call 738-2458.

COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE PROGR AM VOLUNTEER TR AINING: The CASA program is looking for volunteers 21 years of age and older to advocate for abused and neglected children in the juvenile cour t system. Volunteers need no experience and will be provided with specialized training. Call 737-4631.

Voted Best Steak In Augusta For 15 Years

THE CSRA VW CLUB meets every First Friday behind the train depot at Six th and Reynolds Streets. For more information, visit www.csravwclub.org.

VOLUNTEER FEST at Phinizy Swamp Nature Park Aug. 14, 7-8 p.m. Free. Call 828-2109 for more information.

THE SAVANNAH RIVER SITE CITIZENS ADVISORY BOARD is looking for interested Georgia and South Carolina citizens to run for membership in 2004-2005. Board membership requires a 10-15 hour per month time commitment and active par ticipation on one or more issues-based commit tees. Female applicants are especially needed. Call 1-800-249-8155 for a packet.

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AUGUSTA JUNIORS VOLLEYBALL CLINIC in preparation for high school tryouts will be held July 31, 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Family Y on Wheeler Road. Cost is $25. To register or obtain more information, call Elaine Cupp at 279-2215 or visit www.eteamz.com/augustajuniors.

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS meets Tuesdays, 6-7:30 p.m. Call 785-0006 for location and information. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

BUSINESS NETWORK INTERNATIONAL Augusta Chapter meets every Thursday morning from 7 to 8:30 a.m. at the Cour tyards by Mariott. The group is a business networking group designed to give and receive referrals. All professionals welcome. For more information or to join, call Barbara Crenshaw, 868-3772. RIVERWALK TOASTMASTERS meets Mondays, 7 p.m. in Classroom 3 at University Hospital. Call Gale Kan, 855-7071. GUIDELINES: Public service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, Metro Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

(706) 724-3331

for girls in the CSRA!

733-2512

Open Monday-Friday from 2:30-6:30pm Kindergarten thru High School Homework Time ● Tutoring ● Girl Focused Programs ● Hot Meal Each Evening

A quality program at an affordable price!

PICK UP LIMITED TO THE FOLLOWING SCHOOLS A. Brian Merry • Aug. Richmond Academy • Copeland • C.T. Walker Davidson Fine Arts • Garrett • Immaculate Conception • John Milledge Lake Forest • Lamar • Langford • National Hills • Tubman • Tutt • Warren Rd

INSPIRING ALL GIRLS TO BE STRONG, SMART & BOLD

back to school Your Power Shopping Adventure

TOUGH LOVE SUPPORT GROUP Monday nights, 6:30-7:30 p.m. at the South Augusta Resource Center. Learn how to understand addiction and how to exercise tough love with those you care about. Call Sarah Barnes, 772-7325, for info.

AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church. Call 868-8431.

347 Greene Street • Augusta, Georgia

Best After-School Program

FREE ‘N’ ONE SUPPORT GROUP for those bat tling addiction to drugs and alcohol. Approach is a spiritual one. Held ever y Thursday night. For information, contact Sarah Barnes, 772-7325.

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. and Saturdays at 7 p.m. at Augusta Counselling Services. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured.

———ATTORNEY AT LAW ———

Send your daughter to the

CHRIST-BASED RECOVERY MEETING every Tuesday, 6:30 p.m., at the Love & Light Healing Center. Please use the back entrance. For information, contact Kenny Stacy, 373-5585.

GEORGIA-CAROLINA TOASTMASTERS meets Wednesdays at noon at the Clubhouse, 2567 Washington Rd. $8 for lunch; visitors welcome. 860-9854.

William Sussman

Friday, August 1 - Sunday, August 3 Aiken, SC Goodwill Emporium 1400 Whiskey Rd. (803) 644-4610

Augusta, GA Goodwill Emporium 3120 Peach Orchard Rd. (706) 790-8500 Goodwill Emporium 2807 Wylds Road (706) 667-0518 Best Kept Secrets* 2803 Wrightsboro Rd (706) 729-8981

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Soulful Saturdays: Dramatic Poetry Readings at the River By Rhonda Jones

ON ALL S P R I N G & S U M M E R SHOES

3 1

Arts: Performance

Surrey Center 737-4865

urhl Bussey sat on a shady bench at the Riverwalk, head bowed thoughtfully. She explained that she could be quite shy when not performing. Then she looked at the camera dead-on and without flinching. Murhl Bussey is a poet. Yet she also gets down to the business of organizing a happening event called Soulful Saturday. For two hours one evening a week, you can experience a freeform flow of poetry, music, drama – whatever comes together that particular week. This Saturday, Aug. 2, it’s going to be three poets, including Bussey herself and two more known simply as Sarah and Lena, as well as an acoustic guitarist named Sky and another named Ruskin Yeargain, as well as a band called Shank. But, Bussey said, this is not primarily a musical event, because the musicians are there mainly to accompany the poets. “The musician may be the special guest but all of the speakers and poets are featured, so there is not one star of any show.” Asked what the evening would be like, she said, “Just an evening of relaxation and an enjoyable experience. It’s an evening of spoken word and live music for your soul under the stars. They can share a night of relaxation and positive vibrations with singers, poets and musicians on the river.” On the afternoon we spoke, Bussey had just been talking with the percussionist she has coming in for Aug. 9. “He is so awesome. He plays about five different instruments and he’s coming here from Atlanta.” His name, she said, is Artee McCoy III, though Pepino is the name he goes by. His set is called Pino’s Groove. We asked if Pepino would be accompanying the poets. “Oh yes,” she said. “And he will also play alone.” It is interesting of course, to think of poets as performers, when the public education system that this writer experienced rarely let the poem off the page. I asked if the poets and musicians ever got together for a rehearsal before taking it all out there to the people. But that’s not what this experience is all about. “Oh no, it’s pretty much impromptu,” Bussey said. “That’s why I try to have poets who can actually flow with the musicians. I’m definitely one of those experienced poets who can do that.” However, she said, it’s not a requirement to participate in the evening extravaganza of poetics. “When I have poets who are uncomfortable with that I let them do it without the music,” she said. “They’re offered the option.” She said that speaking to accompaniment is not a problem for her, and neither is performing poetry in general. Even over the phone. She was only too happy to demonstrate and began to recite some of her own work. “Standing on the threshold of things to come…” she began, speaking in a storyteller’s voice. Later that day, she would recite

Poet and event organizer Murhl Bussey another as I took her photograph, gesturing with her hands and using her expressive features to accentuate the words. When Bussey finished, I asked why she felt moved to create and perform poetry. She gave herself to a deep laugh, one that made me imagine her throwing back her head. “Me personally? My need to release. Actually, it started out as something … I was doing it for myself and then the more that I did it, the more that other people said I should share these stories with other people.” Now, she enjoys sharing with young people, by speaking at schools and libraries from state to state. “I have gone as far as Massachusetts, where I spoke at Harvard University. I hosted an evening with candles and poetry at Mercer Law School. … and even locally here with the children at May Park.” And she gets to do fun things like host poetry-writing sessions for kids, teaching them to play with words. “They learn how to release negative energy in their lives,” she said. “Instead of becoming violent they release through the paper. Through their writing.” Asking Bussey what her day job is earned a big laugh. “Day job? This is my day job. Day job, night job.” She quoted actor Laurence Fishburne from an interview he gave during which someone asked him why he acted. “I just cannot not do this,” she replied. “It helps me to remember how I want to be in this life and what I want people to remember about me. Oh yes, she wrote those two books, or she helped this child do this.” Those two books are collections of her work titled “Reflections: A Collection of Poetic Short Stories,” Books I and II. Soulful Saturdays are held at the 8th Street Bulkhead in good weather and at Rio Bomba if it rains. The event lasts from 8-10 p.m. For information about the event, to schedule an audition, or to get in touch with Bussey for any reason, call (706) 821-1754, ext. 2.

Last Blast Before School

M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 3 1

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VOTED BEST OF AUGUSTA 7 YEARS IN A ROW! 1245 BROAD STREET • AUGUSTA, GA 30901 • 774-0037

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Arts: Theatre

M E T R O

Local Theatre Companies Lure Fans Into the Woods

S P I R I T

By Rhonda Jones

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A U G U S TA M A L L • 7 0 6 - 7 3 3 - 4 0 0 0

August Special Events August 1, 8, 15, 22, 29

MUSIC ON THE RIVER Jessye Norman Amphitheater • 7 pm Every Friday evening enjoy a new featured artist/group.

August 7, 14, 21, 28

DOWNTOWN LUNCH DATE CONTINUES Augusta Common • 12 noon-2:30pm Brown Bag Series continues every Thursday, call RSE to see how your restaurant can be featured. 706-821-1754

August 9, 23

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE CONTINUES Eighth Street Plaza • 7-11pm Call RSE for more information. 706-821-1754

August 31

12TH ANNUAL EVENING OF JAZZ Jessye Norman Amphitheater • 5-10pm Presented by Paine College, call for more details. 706-821-8223

For more information about these events or other events call 706-821-1754.

ou have to wonder sometimes whether it’s actually coincidence. Do the local theatre companies put their heads together and decide to join one another on a particular theme – or do they react with the same sort of disappointment that would be engendered by showing up at a party wearing the same dress? This go ‘round it’s an outdoorsy theme: Abbeville Opera House is performing “Over the River and Through the Woods,” while the Augusta Players Youth Theatre presents “Into the Woods.” Abbeville Opera House director Michael Genevie recently spoke with Metro Spirit about the thrill-a-minute adventure ride of putting together “Over the River and Through the Woods.” Think of it, if you will, as a play built on a Seinfeld moment: A young man’s grandparents gang up on him (all four of them) and lob girl after girl at him in an effort to get him to stay in town after he’s received a fantastic job offer in a faraway city. “It’s a brand-new show,” Genevie said. “Really, it’s one of the loveliest and best-written scripts to come along in a long time.” He likes it because it speaks to people. “Well I love the subject matter. When I first read the script, I thought, ‘Gosh, this just really hits home with me. The story of this man and his relationship with his grandparents and his family.’” When it was presented to the Abbeville Opera House staff, the script had a profound effect on them. “Everybody felt that the show had a meaning just for them. And that’s the difference between a good play and a great play: When you can find a universality in a play that way, then you really do have something very special in a script.” The story, he says, centers around a young man named Nick, who lives in New Jersey. His parents have retired in Florida and so he spends each Sunday with all four of his grandparents at one set’s house. The great job that he has been offered threatens to take him to Seattle, Wash. “The grandparents, though, they don’t want him to go, so they start inviting all the young ladies they know for dinner,” Genevie said. “It’s written as a wonderful situation comedy, but there are some touching and lovely moments in it as well,” he added. Of course, in their quest for the perfect girl to keep their grandson at home, the four come across Caitlin O’Hare, and the decision becomes ever more difficult. He begins to ask himself poignant questions. Then the fun begins. “Over the River and Through the Woods” was written by Joe DiPietro, who is known for the “witty musical” “I Love You! You’re Perfect! Now Change!” Both that play and “Over the River and Through the Woods” have spent significant time off-Broadway. According to statements issued by Abbeville

Opera House, DiPietro has been compared by critics to famous creator of Broadway plays Neil Simon. “Over the River and Through the Woods” runs at 8 p.m. on Aug. 1-2, 8-9, 15-16 and 22-23. Saturday matinees are at 3 p.m. on Aug. 2, 9, 16 and 23. Tickets are $15 for adults and $14 for seniors. Reservations may be made by calling the Abbeville Opera House Box Office at (864) 459-2157. Oh yeah, it takes place at Abbeville Opera House in Abbeville, S.C. You’re Not Out of the Woods Yet “Into the Woods” is a musical penned by Stephen Sondheim, based on a book by James Lapine. The story is simply that a mixed-up motley crew of storybook characters are thrown together in an adventure involving a couple on whom a dreaded curse has been placed. They can’t have a child. And so, in order to undo the curse, the Baker and his wife have to collect items from other fairy tales. They have to rob Little Red Riding Hood of her blood-red cape, take Rapunzel’s hair, and filch Cinderella’s slipper. And then some. If you thought all was well when “Beanstalk Jack” (my name for him) slew the Giant (after breaking and entering and plundering his house, I might add), then you have another thing coming in this little story. His widow is mad enough to spit nails and she is out for revenge. There’s always something, isn’t there? So that has to be dealt with. Meanwhile, lessons are being learned and people are coming together. “Into the Woods” takes place at the Episcopal Day School at 2248 Walton Way in Augusta. Performances will be at 7 p.m. on Aug. 7-8 and 5 p.m. Aug. 9. General admission tix are available at the door before each performance. Tix are $12 for adults, $10 for students/seniors and $8 for children 12 and under. For info call (706) 826-4707.

Cinema

“Gigli”

M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y

Movie Listings

3 1

Anger Management (PG-13) — Af ter "assaulting" a stewardess on a flight, doofy Dave (Adam Sandler) is ordered by a cour t into anger therapy. That means bonding with Buddy (Jack Nicholson), anger management guru, and time with Buddy's pet circle of hair-trigger loons, including Luis Guzman as a gay par ty beast and John Tur turro as a rage-aholic called Chuck. Buddy and Dave get in each other's hair, play mean pranks on each other, trade frat-level penis jokes, run up to Boston, and return to New York, where both seem to have something going with Dave's girlfriend (Marisa Tomei). "Anger Management" is not bad enough to make you angry, because inevitably the cast cooks up some silly fun. Cast: Jack Nicholson, Adam Sandler, John Tur turro, Marisa Tomei, Luis Guzman, Woody Harrelson. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ American Wedding (R) — The “American Pie” gang returns, reunited for Jim and Michelle’s wedding. Jim’s grandmother is ill and wishes to see him finally set tle down, so the celebration is thrown together in less than two weeks. Get ting the boys back together for the wedding of one of their own can only mean one thing – Stifler’s in charge of planning the bachelor par ty. Cast: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Tim Allen, January Jones, Eugene Levy, Seann William Scot t, Fred Willard. Bad Boys II (R) — Vulgar, brazen, crass, violent, stupid, juvenile, loud, long and pointless – "Bad Boys II" is all that, plus a thin slice of enter taining. The scene is Miami. Marcus (Mar tin Lawrence) and par tner Mike (Will Smith) are back as narcs pledged to double duty: to collar nasty crooks and to tickle the audience with cute bonding humor. They kick of f this par ty by blowing a major drug bust while messing up a Ku Klux Klan rally at the drop site for smuggled dope. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer gives us not story, but the idea of story as gooey plot pizza; not violence, but the idea of violence as car toonish pulp; not style, but the idea of style as

shiny pictures for gaping apes; not comedy, but the idea of comedy as compulsive imbecility; not fun, but the idea of fun as a migraine of lavishly cheap jolts. Cast: Will Smith, Mar tin Lawrence, Gabrielle Union, Joe Pantoliano, Jordi Molla. Running time: 2 hrs., 30 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Bend It Like Beckham (PG-13) — English teen Jess Bahmra adores football star David Beckham. She’d also love to be able to play the spor t, but her strictly traditional parents forbid her from doing so in the hopes that she will marry in an Indian wedding ceremony instead. Af ter Jess meets new pal Jules, who plays on an all-female football team, she joins the squad while keeping her new ex tracurricular activity a secret from her parents. Fur ther complicating mat ters, both girls find themselves falling for handsome coach Joe. Cast: Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Anupam Kher, Archie Panjabi, Shaznay Lewis. Running time: 1 hr., 52 mins. Bringing Down the House (PG-13) — Queen Latifah smoothly pockets "Bringing Down the House" as Charlene, a good-hear ted fugitive from the law, turning to a starchy, divorced ta x at torney for refuge and suppor t. Steve Mar tin is the lawyer, Peter. The core idea of this very simple comedy is pure buzz of contrast: Latifah is abundantly, explosively black, while Mar tin may be the whitest man ever to star in movies. Latifah rides out the nonsense in her queenly, Pearl Bailey style. It's a cookie-cut comedy. The movie delivers its very manufactured goods, but it lacks the guts to be a meaningful comedy. Cast: Steve Mar tin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy, Joan Plowright, Jean Smar t, Bet ty White. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Bruce Almighty (PG-13) — Jim Carrey is Bruce, the goofy features repor ter on a TV station in Buf falo. He aspires to become a "serious" anchor, but af ter blowing his cool on the air, loses his job and has a rif t with his sweet, please-marry-me girlfriend (Jennifer Aniston). There cometh unto Buf falo the Almighty

Universal Pictures

“Seabiscuit”

Columbia Pictures

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(Morgan Freeman). The Lord loans his powers to Bruce. Time for some payback, some wild stunts, some sexual dazzling of Aniston, some nudges of satire. Like Mel Brooks as Moses in "History of the World, Par t I," Carrey has climbed the comical Mount Sinai and, like Brooks, he has dropped a tablet on the way down. One of the pieces is "Bruce Almighty." Cast: Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Baker Hall, Catherine Bell. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Chicago (PG-13) —- It's been 23 years since Richard Gere stripped on Broadway for "Bent." Now he gets to pull of f his clothes as slick shyster Billy Flynn. Mostly in wonder ful suits, his hair shining like creased silver, Gere is having the best time of his movie life, singing and tapdancing and lording over women with rakish snaz. He's a lioness-tamer; the main cats are Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a cabaret sex bazooka and killer on Death Row and newcomer Roxie Har t (Renee Zellweger), a Bet ty Boop who killed her lover. For cash and headlines, Flynn will help guilty women beat the law. "Chicago" is zip for depth, but it has all the sexy sur face it needs to be ex travagantly alive. It tops of f at the Chicago Theater, and the old show palace looks delighted. Cast: Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Richard Gere, John C. Reilly, Queen Latifah, Christine Baranski, Taye Diggs. Running time: 1 hr., 53 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Daddy Day Care (PG) — Looking very much like the engorged warm-up for a future TV sitcom, "Daddy Day Care" stars Eddie Murphy and Jef f Garlin as cereal company promo men who lose their jobs, then star t a home day-care facility. There is an absurdly snooty villain (Anjelica Huston), owner of a posh day-care school. The kids are central casting darlings. The movie, which has a stern warning against sugar-based cereals, is sugared cereal. Cast: Eddie Murphy, Anjelica Huston, Jef f Garlin, Steve Zahn, Regina King. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (PG-13) — may be the dumbest, at least

this year. Sad, for those who recall its very popular and funny parent. 1994's "Dumb & Dumber " had Jim Carrey (Lloyd) and Jef f Daniels (Harry) as per fectly cast dodo buddies who don't know they are stupid los-

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

ers. As slob soul mates, they achieved a rare blend: crass with finesse. Now, the finesse is gone. For the new, young H&L, Eric Christian Olsen as Lloyd looks like a teen Carrey, and has some of the crazed ego energy. Derek Richardson has Daniels' flying hair and pudding face, but without the sly craf t that Daniels brought to foolishness. It's a prequel, and in high school the boys bond so firm and fast that soon the movie stages a slow-mo salute to their friendship. You must be very challenged to enjoy stuf f like that. Cast: Eric Christian Olsen, Derek Richardson, Rachel Nichols, Chedri Oteri, Luis Guzman, Eugene Levy. Running time: 1 hr., 22 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Finding Nemo (G) — A father clown fish (Alber t Brooks) tracks young son Nemo through the Pacific to Sydney, Australia, af ter the small fry is caught and sold for a fish tank. Ellen DeGeneres voices adorable Dory, who is very pret ty and helpful as Marlin's search mate. The humans are alien invaders, big and nearly thoughtless. If "Finding Nemo" is just another of our plex distractions, then it's a giddy bummer, but as a whimsical warning with bite it arrives just in time. Helping to make the seas a lasting realm for real Nemos could be the good, giving backwash of "Finding Nemo." Cast: Alber t Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould, Willem Dafoe, Austin Pendleton, Vicki Lewis, Geof frey Rush, Barry Humphries. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ Gigli (R) — This long-anticipated Ben Af fleck/Jennifer Lopez project is finally opening. It’s the story of Gigli (Af fleck), a Los Angeles-based hitman hired to kidnap the mentally challenged brother of a district at torney. Then there’s Ricki (Lopez), a hitwoman who’s in charge of making sure Gigli can do his job. Romantic sparks should fly, but there’s only one problem – Ricki isn’t at tracted to men. Cast: Ben Af fleck, Jennifer Lopez, Al Pacino, Christopher Walken. Holes (PG) — Adapted by Louis Sachar from his highly successful novel, "Holes" has a thick shellac of literary fidelity — Sachar trying to tuck his book elements into one of the quirkiest movies Disney has ever released. "Holes" is mostly set in a juvenile detention

0— Not worthy.

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camp in the deser t. Teen boys are made to dig big holes to find a legendary Old West crime treasure, coveted by the whip-voiced warden (Sigourney Weaver), her yokel henchman called Mr. Sir (Jon Voight) and their prissy assistant (Tim Blake Nelson). The new boy on the digging detail is Stanley Yelnats. Director Andrew Davis, so sure with the tensions of "Under Siege" and "The Fugitive," is amiably sweating this assignment. His tone veers of f on fishing expeditions, sly humor and pathos casting their baited lines nex t to teen terror and prat falling hokum. My kids liked it somewhat more than I did, which probably sums up the movie about as well as any thing should. Cast: Jon Voight, Sigourney Weaver, Shia LaBeouf, Khleo Thomas, Tim Blake Nelson, Henry Winkler, Ear tha Kit t. Running time: 1 hr., 51 mins. ★★1/2 How To Deal (PG-13) — Mandy Moore is Halley, a teen who has seen too much love go wrong — including the divorce of her parents — to believe that it truly exists. When Halley meets what seems to be the per fect guy, she finds out that she just may prove herself wrong. Cast: Mandy Moore, Trent Ford, Dylan Baker, Peter Gallagher, Alexandra Holden, Allison Janney, Mackenzie Astin. Identity (R) — Plot disposables converge at a Nevada motel in this "thriller," victims of bad luck, ripe for grotesque ends: Rebecca DeMornay as a snippy actress, John C. Ginley as a nerd husband, John Hawkes as a motel geek, Amanda Peet as a prostitute, Clea DuVall as a bride who keeps screaming, Jake Busey as a killer psycho, Ray Liot ta as a cop who may be a psycho, John Cusack as ex-cop and possible psycho, Bret t Loehr as a witnessing child who should, by the end, be psychotic. This soggy pulp has rain on the brain even worse than "Basic." Running time: 1 hr., 27 mins. (Elliot t) 0 Johnny English (PG) — The film, set in England, has a paper-thin plot that goes something like this: A mad nobleman seeks revenge against her majesty for not receiving his right ful inheritance. He sets in motion a chain of events, such as stealing the crown jewels and forcing the queen to abdicate to make him king. The only thing standing in his way is Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson). English is a lowly of fice worker who suddenly becomes a secret agent af ter the rest of the agents are killed. And English, who thinks he's the right man for the job, hasn't a clue that the rest of the world sees him as a bumbling idiot. During a daydream, English says to a slinky vixen that he's going to "try not to disappoint." Too late. Cast: Rowan Atkinson, Natalie Imbruglia, Ben Miller and John Malkovich. Running time: 1 hr., 27 mins. (McCormick) 0

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (PG-13) — Sean Connery's Allan Quatermain is a

former adventurer suf fering from disillusionment and a broken hear t. A mysterious Brit who calls himself "M" finds the physically fit Quatermain in Africa with predictions of impending doom and a request by Queen Victoria to help save the world. An opium-wracked Quatermain is tracked down by the Dracula-inspired character Mina Harker (Peta Wilson), who is introduced a lit tle later in the film, as are Captain Nemo, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the Invisible Man. One might forgive some of the clunky editing and pasted-together plotlines. Less forgivable is the contrived, bring-on-thesequel ending. Unforgivable and completely baf fling is the dimming of Connery's star-power. Cast: Sean Connery, Naseeruddin Shah, Peta Wilson, Stuar t Townsend and Shane West. Running time: 1 hr., 41 mins. (Wood) ★★

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde (PG-13) — Reese Witherspoon is so peachy and

pink and perky as Elle Woods, girl lawyer crusading for animal rights in D.C., that you can just about for-

Fox Searchlight Pictures

M E T R O

“Bend It Like Beckham”

give the brazen retouching of elements from "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," including a clip from the Capra film. Elle even visits, like Jimmy Stewar t before, the Lincoln Memorial. The rather lame "political" plot and sof t gags breeze by thanks to her, Sally Field, Bob Newhar t and Luke Wilson. 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ The Lizzie McGuire Movie (PG) — is something between taf fy, tapioca and a gold brick smoothly entering the Disney vault. It stars Hilary Duf f, 15, the lit tle Houston gal made a household name by the Disney Channel's "Lizzie McGuire" show. The movie takes Lizzie to Rome, where she soon splits of f from her school tour to be shown the city by dreamboat Paolo (Yani Gellman). He's half of a bubble-gum Europop duo, the female half being gone for reasons that are stupid. Lizzie is her look-alike, and gamely subs for her at appearances, even a concer t at the antique Colosseum. The city looks grand as ever, Lizzie smiles splendidly, Paolo gets a bum exit. His dreamboat sinks, but Rome, being old and wise, does not weep. Cast: Hilary Duf f, Adam Lamberg, Alex Borstein, Yani Gellman. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Malibu’s Most Wanted (PG-13) — Brad “Brad” Gluckman ain’t no Eminem. He’s Malibu’s worst rapper, a rich white boy who thinks he has the nuances of the hip-hop lifestyle down pat. Nothing could be fur ther from the truth, and when B-rad’s embarrassing antics creep into his father’s campaign for governor of California, the family decides that some tough love might be in order. Cast: Jamie Kennedy, Blair Underwood, Ryan O’Neal, Taye Diggs.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (PG-13) — The movie will be a

shocker for anyone expecting watery gruel ex tracted from a Disneyland-ride base. This "Pirates of the Caribbean" is an original, with clever plot ting, some rapierlike dialogue and a scurvy crew of first-rate second bananas. When the Black Pearl, the invincible pirate ship commanded by the dread Capt. Barbossa (Geof frey Rush) storms Por t Royal and kidnaps Elizabeth (Keira Knightly), the governor's beautiful daughter, what can her secret admirer, the lowly blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), do but go af ter her? He's forced to team up with the immensely unreliable Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). The movie lies becalmed when Depp/Sparrow is absent; when he's on screen, it's a rousing good time. Since he's on screen a good par t of the time, that makes "Pirates of

LUNCH Monday-Friday

the Caribbean" a rousing good movie. Arrrrr! Cast: Johnny Depp, Geof frey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Jonathan Pryce. Running time: 2 hrs., 14 mins. (Salm) ★★★ Seabiscuit (PG-13) — Charles Howard, acted by Jef f Bridges, is a brawny, self-made man whose success as an auto biz wiz led to personal tragedy, then a healing fancy for horses. Mostly, for Seabiscuit. Two other men also are saviors of Seabiscuit, in turn saved by him. Chris Cooper is trainer Tom Smith, a folksy genius of horse sense; and the scrappy jockey, Johnny "Red" Pollard, a Depression castaway stuck with dud horses and even bare-knuckle boxing, is acted by scrawny but muscular Tobey Maguire. The film piles on glossy contex t, but it finds its legs once the beloved horse turns into a come-from-behind challenger, egged on by the media. As a scrappy fable, this corn pops well, emotionally. Cast: Jef f Bridges, Tobey Maguire, Chris Cooper, William H. Macy, Elizabeth Banks. Running time: 2 hrs., 10 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) — Now the boyish Juni Cor tez (Daryl Sabara) is a private investigator, the rest of his family away spying, and Juni is pulled into the evil video game empire of the Toymaker (Sylvester Stallone). He must rise through levels, liberate sister Carmen (Alexa Vega) and prove himself as the Guy. Mostly he must sur f through gaudy storms of computerized ef fects, of ten in 3-D (yes, you wear glasses). There are robots and blue-tongued monsters and frantic chases. For a while, leathery grandpa Ricardo Montalban is liberated by animation from a wheelchair to clank around in a huge metal suit. Montalban is always a kick, but the movie is about as Hispanic as a pinata made in Taiwan. Cast: Daryl Sabara, Alexa Vega, Sylvester Stallone, Ricardo Montalban, Salma Hayek. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (R) —

An almost unbroken stream of mighty mayhem, high on the bliss of eviscerated metal. Arnold returns as the Terminator, to save the future leaders of mankind (Nick Stahl, Claire Danes) from a vicious terminatrix (Kristanna Loken) who is like the sleek evil twin of the computerized vamp in "Simone." It goes where it must, to nuclear hell, and is weirdly satisfying. 1 hr., 48 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★

Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (PG-13) — Angelina Jolie recycles as Lara Crof t, tracking

down a golden ball that leads to a magical chest that is Pandora's my thic box. Chief villain Ciaran Hinds is a bulging suit who wants to release hellish plagues on the world. The high point goes nowhere but down, a long, gliding jump of f a Hong Kong skyscraper. Many exotic places are visited, each one posing like a theme park. But then the wowzer payof f: a hokey cave with acid pools and ugly tree monsters fiercely auditioning for "Lord of the Rings: The Final Nonsense." Cast: Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Ciaran Hinds, Djimon Hounsou. Running time: 1 hr., 56 mins. (Elliot t) ★ 28 Days Later (R) — opens with berserk lab chimps being freed by perhaps crazier animal rights activists. The chimps infect the British Isles, so that London is soon deser ted except for corpses, some prowling zombies and a very few healthy survivors. Twenty-eight days af ter the chimps escape, cycle messenger Jim (Cillian Murphy) stumbles into the scared, but tough Selena (Naomi Harris). They light out for the territory. The infected zombies, whose blood can ruin you with one well-placed drop, are ready to pounce from shadows. Inevitably the plot heads for genre midnight, with strobed lightning and ravenous gobblers and a rock score amped for madness. The posh is pulped. Cast: Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Noan Huntley, Brendan Gleeson, Christopher Eccleston. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 2 Fast 2 Furious (PG-13) — The speed par ty "2 Fast 2 Furious" is 2 silly 2 believe and 2 cliched 2 be very enter taining. 2 bad. It stars Paul Walker, back as Brian from the 2001 summer hit "The Fast and the Furious," in which he was an undercover cop and rival, then pal, of mechanic and street racer Dom (Vin Diesel). Walker gets to appear slight nex t to the big rack of torso Tyrese, cast as racer and ex-con Roman Pearce. The set ting is now Miami. The script is a chop-shop quickie with a greasy aroma of "Miami Vice." The car scenes are so heavily edited and accessorized with tech-freak dazzle that even the blasting finish collapses into a string of stunts. This film is just a motorized budget. Cast: Paul Walker, Tyrese, Cole Hauser, Eva Mendes, James Remar. Running time: 1 hr., 44 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Wrong Turn (R) — Bad luck befalls Chris (Desmond Harrington) when he sets out on a three-hour tour to Raleigh for a job interview. He’s barely star ted down the freeway when an accident up ahead halts traffic. Taking a windy and isolated dir t road to get around the jam, Chris doesn’t see the SUV full of teens that is stopped in the middle of the road, tires mysteriously blown out. Investigating the accident scene, the group finds a strand of barbed wire stretched across the road — could it be a trap? Cast: Eliza Dushku, Desmond Harrington, Jeremy Sisto, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Lindy Booth. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. X2 (PG-13) — At the hub is the dutiful sequel section, laboring to ex tend the fantasy of a human world infiltrated by power ful, feared mutants, which the 2000 film transplanted from its comic-book roots. Then there is the ef fects section, each mutant get ting a chance to show his/her powers. There is the senior section of power ful old men, the creepy wizard Magneto (Ian McKellen) maintaining a duel of Elite British Accents with the paranormal seer Xavier (Patrick Stewar t). And the "check 'em out" section for new or aspiring stars (Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Kelly Hu, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Aaron Stanford). "X2" seems to have been made by and for people who constantly switch between "Star Trek" episodes and James Bond reruns, while hoping for some Hannibal Lecter. Cast: Patrick Stewar t, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin. Running time: 2 hrs., 5 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

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▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲

Stifler Is Best Thing In “American Wedding”

▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲

Cinema: Review

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ike the horny, dim-witted American teenagers they celebrate, the “American Pie” films typify the wonder and stupidity of adolescent sexuality. If there was such a thing as G-rated porn, this would be it, because for all the fooling around that goes on (over the course of three films, the kids have done it with everything from food to animals to musical instruments) the “real” sex is always about love and usually happens off-screen. Luckily, the creative minds behind the third installment in this teen trilogy haven’t run out of things for their young stars to hump or degrading sexual scenarios to enter into. Nothing more than an onslaught of gross-out shenanigans and corny truisms about growing up, “American Wedding” manages to make good on an idea which seemed dead. Returning to the real star of the series, the writers appropriately focus most of their attention on Stifler (played for a third time by Seann William Scott). When Jim (Jason Biggs) proposes to his now-longtime girlfriend, Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), the gang comes together to help their hapless buddy give his fiancée the wedding of her dreams. Along with his two best friends, Jim sets out to do right by his lovable band geek. The only thing standing in the way of that is Stifler, who is now an assistant football coach at the local high school. More a series of ill-advised sitcom scenarios than anything else, “American Wedding” continually tries to top itself with awkward situation after awkward

situation. From Jim’s initial proposal to the bachelor party that the bride’s parents inadvertently walk in on, “American Wedding” maintains the benchmark set by the previous movies. But the real treat throughout is Seann William Scott’s Stifler. Now more of a loser-nuisance than in the first two films, Stifler is now that semi-pathetic incarnation of the popular guy from high school. Laughably pathetic, and at times even sympathetic, Sean William Scott draws an abundance of laughs in “American Wedding.” Whether participating in a dance-off in a gay bar or masquerading as an upstanding guy to lure an attractive bridesmaid into bed, the Stifmeister is cemented here as a wonderfully obnoxious incarnation. Of course, no “American Pie” film would be complete without a piece-deresistance, a heinous act which causes more squirms than laughs. For this showstopper, a page is pulled from “Pink Flamingos” and Stifler does his own divine impersonation in one of the more disgusting consumption scenes in recent memory. Although half the cast from the first two films is mysteriously absent (no word is ever mentioned about what happened to the characters played by Chris Klein, Natasha Lyonne and Tara Reid), Stifler is all that’s really needed here. Jason Biggs shares more awkward moments with his ever-amenable dad (played again by Eugene Levy) and decides to do unwise things with his anatomy, but it’s Stifler who ultimately makes these nuptials worth the while.

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WE DON’T WANT TO MOVE THIS STUFF!

MOVIE CLOCK

Moving Sale Everything Reduced New Location in August

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A Delicious Escape! $59

REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 8/1 - 8/7 Gigli (R) 1:00, 4:00, 7:15, 10:10 Bend It Like Beckham (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 11:30, 1:50, 4:20, 6:55, 9:30, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 11:30, 1:50, 4:20, 6:55, 9:30 American Wedding (R) Fri-Sat: 11:30, 12:00, 12:30, 1:45, 2:30, 3:00, 4:15, 5:00, 5:30, 6:45, 7:30, 8:15, 9:15, 9:55, 10:40, 11:35, 12:20; Sun-Thur: 11:30, 12:00, 12:30, 1:45, 2:30, 3:00, 4:15, 5:00, 5:30, 6:45, 7:30, 8:15, 9:15, 9:55, 10:40 Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (PG-13) FriSat: 11:35, 12:55, 1:40, 2:20, 3:45, 4:30, 5:05, 6:50, 7:25, 7:55, 9:35, 10:05, 10:40, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 11:35, 12:55, 1:40, 2:20, 3:45, 4:30, 5:05, 6:50, 7:25, 7:55, 9:35, 10:05, 10:40 Seabiscuit (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 12:45, 3:20, 3:50, 6:40, 7:35, 9:45, 10:35, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 12:45, 3:20, 3:50, 6:40, 7:35, 9:45, 10:35 Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) Fri-Sat: 11:40, 12:25, 2:00, 2:45, 4:45, 5:25, 7:00, 7:40, 9:50, 12:00; Sun-Thur: 11:40, 12:25, 2:00, 2:45, 4:45, 5:25, 7:00, 7:40, 9:50 Bad Boys 2 (R) Fri-Sat: 12:15, 1:10, 3:55, 4:25, 7:20, 8:00, 10:30, 11:15; Sun-Thur: 12:15, 1:10, 3:55, 4:25, 7:20, 8:00, 10:30 How To Deal (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 9:10, 11:40; SunThur: 9:10 Johnny English (PG) 11:50, 4:20, 9:25 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) 1:30, 4:35, 7:45, 10:55 The League of Ex traordinary Gentlemen (PG13) 11:55, 2:40, 5:10, 7:50, 10:25 Terminator 3 (R) 12:20, 2:50, 5:20, 8:10, 10:45 Legally Blonde 2 (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 2:05, 7:05, 11:50; Sun-Thur: 2:05, 7:05 28 Days Later (R) 12:05, 2:35, 5:15, 8:05, 10:50 2 Fast 2 Furious (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 9:40, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 9:40 Finding Nemo (G) 11:45, 2:10, 4:40, 7:10 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 8/1 - 8/5 Bend It Like Beckham (PG-13) 2:10, 5:00, 7:15, 9:35 Gigli (R) 2:00, 4:30, 7:30, 9:55 American Wedding (R) 1:10, 3:20, 5:40, 7:50, 10:00 Seabiscuit (PG-13) 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 9:50

THE PARTRIDGE INN’S GOURMET GETAWAY PACKAGE

Enjoy a night’s stay at Augusta’s

premier hotel – The Partridge Inn. This package includes a deluxe room, the Grand Continental Buffet Breakfast and $10 Dining Credit for two people in either of the Hotel’s two acclaimed restaurants:

Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (PG-13) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, 9:45 Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) 12:45, 1:45, 2:45, 3:45, 4:45, 5:45, 7:45, 9:40 Bad Boys 2 (R) 12:50, 3:50, 6:55, 9:50 How To Deal (PG-13) 9:35 Johnny English (PG) 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:55 The League of Ex traordinary Gentlemen (PG13) 1:55, 4:40, 7:25, 9:40 Terminator 3 (R) 7:05, 9:25. Finding Nemo (G) 12:50, 3:00, 5:10, 7:20 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 8/1 - 8/5 Gigli (R) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:30 American Wedding (R) 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:20, 9:50 Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (PG-13) 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 9:55 Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (PG) 1:05, 3:05, 5:05, 7:05, 9:05 Bad Boys 2 (R) 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:35 Pirates of the Caribbean (PG-13) 12:55, 3:55, 6:55, 9:45 The League of Ex traordinary Gentlemen (PG13) 12:50, 3:00, 5:10, 7:15, 9:35 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 8/1 - 8/7 Bruce Almighty (PG-13) 12:55, 3:00, 5:05, 7:25, 9:40 Daddy Day Care (PG) 1:05, 3:05, 5:10, 7:35, 9:50 X2 (PG-13) 12:50, 4:25, 7:50 Wrong Turn (R) 1:10, 3:10, 5:15, 7:40, 9:55 The Lizzie McGuire Movie (PG) 12:45, 2:50, 5:00, 7:15, 9:35 Dumb and Dumberer (PG-13) 12:50, 2:55, 5:00, 7:20, 9:35 Identity (R) 1:00, 3:05, 5:10, 7:30, 9:45 Chicago (PG-13) 1:30, 4:40, 7:05, 9:20 Holes (PG) 1:20, 4:30, 7:00, 9:25 Anger Management (PG-13) 1:25, 4:35, 7:00, 9:15 Malibu’s Most Wanted (PG-13) 1:15, 3:15, 5:20, 7:45, 9:45 Bringing Down the House (PG-13) 1:35, 4:45, 7:10, 9:30

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

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Music The Rhes Reeves Band Finds Freedom

M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y

By Lisa Jordan

3 1 2 0 0 3

Photo by Joe White

“W

e’re very, very lucky where we’re at right now,” says Rhes Reeves of The Rhes Reeves Band. Where they’re at is riding high on the freedom that their regular performance venue, Coyote’s, affords. This particular lineup has held tight for the past two years, since the group moved from the Honky Tonk to Coyote’s. “Basically, the day we went over there, the Honky Tonk emptied and Coyote’s filled up,” Reeves says of the fans that followed the band. To illustrate his point, he tells a story about a night that happened not long after The Rhes Reeves Band moved to Coyote’s. A bomb threat was called in to the club, and Reeves had to ask the crowd to exit the venue in order to allow police and bomb-sniffing dogs to comb the building. “Nine hundred people filed out and waited for the police dogs, and 900 walked back in,” Reeves says. “I’ve never seen anything like it. So that shows some real loyalty.” With the band’s stuffed schedule – playing Coyote’s Wednesday through Saturday, every week – it’s not hard to see how effortlessly The Rhes Reeves Band draws a crowd. “We have a real loyal following,” says Reeves. “We have certain people that are there every night. I can count on them. We wouldn’t be anywhere without them.” One of the band’s strengths that Reeves attributes their success to is their variety. The Rhes Reeves Band covers genres and songs that appeal to almost everyone – and if you aren’t digging any particular song at any particular moment, wait a few minutes, Reeves advises. “Our band is a variety band,” he says. “We get labeled a country band a lot because I sing country some. Now, we

The Rhes Reeves Band is nothing short of a team effort.

really sing, like AC/DC followed by The Gap Band followed by Hank Sr., some oldies. We really do a lot of variety. “That’s the neat thing about Coyote’s. It really happened exactly like I wanted it to. We really have a good mix of people in there.” And it doesn’t hurt that Coyote’s is the sort of place that gives The Rhes Reeves Band the room to stretch their musical muscle and lets the band – and the crowd – dictate just what path they’ll meander down any given evening. “It’s been a great victory, really, for my friends and I, that we can decide what we want to learn this week and play,” says Reeves. “You get set free and you realize you can do all these neat things because you have this new situation. … The great thing about the club, there’s no guy running up to the stage, going, ‘Hey, don’t play that!’” The audience themselves play a signifi-

cant part in just what happens at a Rhes Reeves Band show. Whether it’s requests – for everything from Kid Rock’s crossover hit, “Picture,” to Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train” performed barn-dance style – or just Reeves’ knack for feeling out what a crowd wants, a night with the band is anything but predictable. “There’s no setlist. I really want to play to the audience,” Reeves says, adding that some nights, he can just pick out a country-lovin’ crowd or break out the dance beats for a weekend bachelorette party. “If there’s 19 women that want to hear something, believe me, everybody’s going to go along with them,” he says with a laugh. “We can tailor make a show to pretty much any crowd we want to.” Reeves got his start playing drums at 13 years old, more impressed as a child by his father’s band than his father’s profession, a lawyer. Reeves traveled to Hollywood, Calif., as a teen-ager to attend the Guitar

Institute of Technology and receive additional musical training. After that, he started playing in Augusta with The Robbie Ducey Band and Steve Chappell. These days, his own band, which includes Stan Dugan, Mark Wright, Doug Lanier and Shelly McGee (the singer formerly known as Shelly Watkins), is working on its original songs and hoping to record. “In my originals, a lot, I mention where I’m from – I’m just a small-town guy from Millen,” Reeves says. “But I also sing a lot about my friends and my fans that come out. As far as what I actually write, I write about the same variety I play. … I guess it would be more of a crossover. There’s country rock; there’s danceable beats, so whatever that sounds like mixed together.” “We’ll have to wait and see,” he adds talking about a possible recording. “I’m looking to have it by the end of the year. Everything’s so positive with the band and the club and the management. They’re behind us.” And while Reeves admits a record deal would be nice, he’s content with the band’s current success. “We’re glad to have a job doing what we’re doing now,” he says. “I’ve seen so many people who want record deals so bad. I’d rather have a CD and a really good club. You’re doing music to express yourself, not to express someone else’s ideas.” But what really drives the band is the closeness they share. Though the band shares Reeves’ name, it’s nothing short of a team effort. “They’re all core members,” he says. “We’re really good friends, on and off the stage. It wouldn’t be anything without the exact people I have now. “We’re closer together than any other place we’ve ever been. I hope it lasts for a long time.”

M E T R O S P I R I T

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ollapalooza returns this week as INCUBUS, JANE’S ADDICTION, AUDIOSLAVE, THE DONNAS and QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE converge August 3 at Atlanta’s Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheater. Although many concerts this summer are tanking big time due to economic and perhaps even lack-of-artistic reasons, Lollapalooza is drawing decent-sized crowds at most of its shows. It’s easily the best bang and bands for the buck this summer. Get the Led NOW Dept. The LED ZEPPELIN CD/DVD packages “How the West Was Won” and “The DVD” are two of the best compilations of its type ever released. Both contain vintage performances from various eras of the band, including concert footage from 1969 to 1978. The sound and picture quality are so pristine that it makes one wonder why the band didn’t issue the shows when they were first recorded. The producers even purchased “bootleg” footage from collectors which has been painstakingly synched and placed throughout the shows. If you are a Zep fan, these are “must-haves.” These days in Chi-town it’s either cork (thanks to Sammy Sosa) or dorks (the Chicago Police Department). The latter recently had to apologize to rapperturned-actor ICE CUBE for its insensitive and politically incorrect handling of a recent crime. Last week, the Windy City’s finest issued a community alert bulletin stating that a suspect accused of “multiple sexual assaults” resembled Ice Cube, star of the great 2002 flick “Barbershop.” Coincidentally, Chicago Police spokesman David Bayless, who made the apology on behalf of the department, reminds some of a cross between former mayor Richard Daley and convicted nurse-hater Richard Speck.

WEDNESDAYS :: $2.50 PITCHER NIGHT HAS RETURNED! 1936 Walton Way • 364-0160 • Open @ 5pm Mon - Sat

thurs 31st Bluegrass w/ Eryn Eubanks & the Fold 9pm $2.50 Import Draught Pints

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First Friday art opening by Laura Rhodes Hymnals of Reaganomics!

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Bluegrass in the afternoon w/ Eryn Eubanks & the Fold 2-5pm $6 Bacardi Rumtini’s all night

Ahh … summertime … and the living is easy, especially when there’s CAKE and a CHEAP TRICK. The two groups are embarking on their “Unlimited Sunshine” tour that brings the rockers to Atlanta’s Tabernacle Sept. 2. Cheap Trick’s latest LP “A Special One” was released last week while Cake hasn’t had a new album since 2001’s “Comfort Eagle.” Where’s the Darling Family? Dept. The folks at Augusta’s new Stillwater Tap Room are to be commended for bringing acoustic and bluegrass music to our town. Several nights each week the club has live bands from all over picking and grinning, which is a nice alternative from the smoky, rock-oriented bars. This business risk was a big one and locals who complain that “there’s nothing to do in Augusta” should make the trip downtown and support this brave and very much welcomed addition to our nightlife. Turner’s Quick Notes The late JOE STRUMMER from CLASH fame has a documentary in the works. His final studio album is due in October … No, ACE FREHLEY is not on the current KISS/AEROSMITH tour and is recording his seventh album now … LYNYRD SKYNYRD and SAMMY HAGAR invade HiFi Buys Amphitheater in Atlanta August 2 … CARLOS SANTANA has raised over $2 million on his recent U.S. tour to assist the war on AIDS in South America … “Rush in Rio” from RUSH is due in late September. Turner’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Jeopardy A. Singers KELLY ROWLAND, MICHELLE BRANCH and NICK CARTER appeared on this NBC drama earlier this year. Q. What is “American Dreams”?

ED TURNER

mon 4th $1 PBR/Miller Highlife $5 Red Bull/Vodka Pints - All Night

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wed 6th $2.50 Jagermeister Shots $4.00 Jager Bombs

Music: Concert

Bow Wow Off the Leash at the Bell Auditorium By Lisa Jordan

t 16, Bow Wow has enjoyed more success than the majority of his high-school aged contemporaries. There’s the commercial success of his first two albums, 2000’s “Beware of Dog” and 2001’s “Doggy Bag.” Bow Wow also wowed audiences with his acting abilities in last year’s feel-good kiddie flick, “Like Mike.” Now comes “Unleashed,” the first album released since Bow Wow dropped the Lil’ from his name. It hits store shelves Aug. 19 with, rumor has it, a more grown-up sound. The two years since Bow Wow’s last release have given the teen performer time to experiment with penning his own lyrics, not to mention time to work on acting projects and his own clothing line, Shago. Bow Wow got his first big break — and his nickname — from rapper Snoop Dogg. At the age of 6, Bow Wow was hired as the opening act on Snoop Dogg’s “Chronic Tour.” Bow Wow has also shared his skills with guest appearances on Snoop Dogg’s “Doggystyle” album, Will Smith’s “Wild Wild West” and Jermaine Dupri’s “Big Momma’s House” soundtrack. Dupri is also credited with signing Bow Wow to his Atlanta-based So So Def record label and developing Bow Wow as a healthy role model for young people. (Turns out Bow Wow’s good looks give him a way with the ladies ages 11-16.) But teen-age girls aren’t the only ones with a soft spot for Bow Wow — just ask Madonna. She performed with Bow Wow during the opening of the 2001 Grammy Awards. Bow Wow also opened up for *Nsync on tour. When Bow Wow struck out on his own solo tour, 2001’s “Scream Tour,” shows sold out all across the United States, with not one, but two

SUNDAY SUNDAY

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Sun, Aug 9

DEATH STAR This Sunday

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Corner of 12th & Broad :::: Downtown Augusta :::: 828-5578 additional shows scheduled for the Washington, D.C., area after the original date sold out in 20 minutes. Now, in support of “Unleashed,” Bow Wow hits the stage again for the “Unleashed Tour.” He’ll be coming through Augusta this time, to the Bell Auditorium Thursday, Aug. 7, at 6 p.m. Tickets are $31 for floor seating, $26 for first and second balcony seating and $21 for third balcony seating. Tickets are available at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center Box Office, or through TicketMaster, online at www.ticketmaster.com or charge by phone at 828-7700. For more information on the boy known as Bow Wow, visit his Web site at www.lilbowwow.com.

Preseason Football Is Here! HOME OF THE FALCONS AND STEELERS We’re the best place to catch all the games!

Now comes “Unleashed,” the first album released since Bow Wow dropped the Lil’ from his name. It hits store shelves Aug. 19 with, rumor has it, a more grown-up sound.

Live Music Every Thursday Night Brandon (Big Mighty) & Friends 10pm-1am 23 TV’S COLD DRINKS GREAT FOOD Food & Drink Specials Nightly Stool Pigeons | 277 Robert C. Daniel Jr. Pkwy | 737-6950

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AUGUSTA’S ONLY KARAOKE BAR! ~ OPEN 6 N IGHTS A WEEK ~ JOIN US FOR OUR NATIONAL KARAOKE CONTEST

Vive le Violence Bertrand Cantat, who is the lead man for France’s No. 1 rock band Noir Desir, allegedly smacked his domestic partner, allegedly causing her to hit her head which resulted in a brain hemorrhage and a coma. She is actress Marie Trintignant and was in the middle of filming at the time.

Wednesday - Women Thursday - Men 1st 12 weeks - Country & Western 2nd 12 weeks - Rock/Pop/ Rhythm & Blues/Soul

Mick Turns 60 That leaping mass of sexuality who has headed The Rolling Stones for decades … and decades … has finally reached the big 6-oh and is eligible for all sorts of discounts. It also means that his fellow Stones are no longer young men and significantly alters the meanings of several of their songs: “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction,” and “Time Is on My Side” spring immediately to mind. Others include “100 Years Ago,” “19th Nervous Breakdown,” “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg,” “Can You Hear the Music,” “Dear Doctor,” “Drift Away” and “I Get Around.” It’s as if they set themselves up.

Be the one to go with us to Laughlin, NV for the Karaoke Finals. National Grand Prize Winner receives $3,500 cash, plus gifts & possible recording contract.

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Justin Timberlake to Work for McDonald’s? Oh come on. It’s not like you’re going to pull up to your favorite location and have him hanging out the window trying to toss extra ketchup into your car. He’s supposedly (according to www.undercover.com) negotiating with the fast-food giant to sing their jingle. Newsflash, Fred: You’re Not Cool Anymore Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst weathered a storm of plastic bottles, loose change and boos at the July 26 Summer Sanitarium stop just outside Chicago. The crowd, some of whom brought their own homemade “Fred Sucks” banners (how sweet), was also chanting something that began with the F-word and ended with Fred Durst. Only six songs into his set, a frustrated Durst walked offstage, still clutching a microphone and boasting that Limp Bizkit is “the greatest band in the world.”

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES AND LISA JORDAN Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

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Don’t Forget Karaoke with Mr. Russ in the Restaurant

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8th & Riverwalk • 774-.0053

Night Life

M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 3 1 2 0 0 3

After playing only private parties for seven years, the Elijah Clarke Band brings its ‘70s and ‘80s party music to the public with a First Friday show at the Blind Pig.

Thursday, 31st

Adams Nightclub - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Meditate on This! The Big Easy - Buzz Clif ford, George Sykes Blind Pig - Open Mic Night with David Bryan and Randy Carver Jr. Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Karaoke Dance Par t y with DJ Joe Steel Coliseum - Karaoke with Travis, Hi-Energy Dance Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Karaoke Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - John Kolbeck Metro Coffeehouse - Eryn Eubanks and the Fold Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - SKYNN with DJ Richie Rich Playground - Open Mic Night Red Lion - Paul Arrowood Soul Bar - Sawdust, The Wheels

Stillwater Tap Room - Old-School Freight Train Stool Pigeons - Brandon Bender and Friends Surrey Tavern - Elliot Holden Time Piecez - DJ Dance Par ty TGI Friday’s - Jayson Sabo

Friday, 1st

Adams Nightclub - DJ Andy’s - Faded Blues Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Jazz Sessions with Moniker, First Friday Ar t by Shishir Chokshi The Big Easy - Air Apparent Blind Pig - Elijah Clarke Band Borders - N Crowd Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Argos Angels Cabaret with Diane Chanel, Petite DeJonville and Dixie Divine, DJ Joe Steel Coconuts - Augusta’s Hot test Mom Contest Coliseum - Bambi’s Variety Show, Beat the Clock with Sasha

Catch Faded Blues at Andy’s Friday, Aug. 1. Cotton Patch - Tony Williams and the Blues Express featuring Pops Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Zoso, Trend D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Eagle’s Nest - Karaoke with DJ MJ Fox’s Lair - John Kolbeck Greene Streets - Karaoke Hangnail Gallery - First Friday Fun Highlander - Lions From Zion Jeremy’s Nightclub - Pitboss Joe’s Underground - Sabo and the Scorchers The Lighthouse - Broken Arrow Band Marlboro Station - Lauren Alexander Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Kenny Ray Ms. Carolyn’s - Live Band Partridge Inn - Jazz Soulstice with Anthony Carpenter The Pourhouse - Preston and Weston Red Lion - RS3 Rio Bomba - Karaoke with Mr. Russ

Thursday ELLIOTT HOLDEN

q w

Friday & Saturday

Surrey Tavern

THE RETURN OF PLAYBACK FEATURING TUTU D’VYNE

Rumors - DJ Doug Romanella, Wet T-Shir t Contest The Shack - DJ Chip Shannon’s - Bar t Bell, Allen Black Soul Bar - Super Stereo Hi-Fi Variety Mix with DJ Sandinista, First Friday Ar t Exhibit Stillwater Tap Room - High Windy Surrey Tavern - Playback with Tutu D’Vyne

Saturday, 2nd

Adams Nightclub - DJ Andy’s - Jimmy Archer Back Roads - DJ The Bee’s Knees - The Bee’s Knees One Year Anniversary Celebration with Deathstar The Big Easy - Buzz Clif ford, George Sykes Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Borders - Josh Pierce Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Club Argos - Argos Angels Cabaret with Petite, Claire Storm, Sasha and Guests, DJ Joe Steel

continued on page 40

Monday

PAT BLANCHARD Tuesday Night Jam Session

Wednesday

PAT BLANCHARD

471 Highland Ave. | 736-1221 | Open Mon-Fri at 4 pm until & Sat 6pm until

Playground - Karaoke The Pourhouse - Edmond P. “The Lurch” Kida Soul Bar - Live Jazz Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard

M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y

Upcoming

taproom

EVERY TUESDAY

PINT NIGHT

Pageant Benefit for Petite DeJonville - Club Argos - Aug. 9 Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation Benefit - Club Argos - Aug. 15 Male Revue - Coliseum - Aug. 15 Sugarland - Soul Bar - Aug. 16 Bio Ritmo - Modjeska - Aug. 16 DJ Calvin Johnson - Soul Bar - Aug. 22 ph Balance - Soul Bar - Aug. 23 Hobex - Soul Bar - Aug. 30 doubleDrive, Minus Driver - Crossroads Sept. 5

$2 PINTS 4 TIL CLOSE

3 1 2 0 0 3

Elsewhere

THURSDAY

OLD SCHOOL FREIGHT TRAIN

FROM RICHMOND, VA

FRIDAY

F I R S T F R I D AY C E L E B R AT I O N HIGH WINDY FROM N.C.

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THURSDAY

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SATURDAY

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COMING SOON:

August 16 REEL TIME TRAVELERS August 26 GIBSON BROTHERS “This is the pure stuff, the way bluegrass sounds best.” - Music Row Magazine

974 Broad Street 826-9857 (Next to Nacho Mama’s) Open Tues-Sat 4pm-until

Sweden’s Fatal Smile comes to Crossroads Aug. 2. continued from page 39 Coconuts - Dance with DJ Stump Coliseum - Beat the Clock with Sasha Cotton Patch - Sabo and the Scorchers Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Mad Margrit t, Fatal Smile D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Silver Dash Greene Streets - Karaoke Jeremy’s Nightclub - Pitboss Joe’s Underground - Keith Gregory Last Call - Broken Arrow Band Marlboro Station - Miss Peg Metro Coffeehouse - Live Af ternoon Bluegrass with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Michael’s - Mike Swif t Modjeska - DJ Boriqua Ms. Carolyn’s - Live Band Partridge Inn - Sandy B. and the All-Stars The Pourhouse - The Recaps featuring Sassy Brass Red Lion - Plan A Rumors - DJ Doug Romanella, Sexy Legs Contest The Shack - DJ Buckwheat Shannon’s - Saundra Powell Soul Bar - Sky City Surrey Tavern - Playback with Tutu D’Vyne

Monday, 4th

Sunday, 3rd

Wednesday, 6th

Adams Nightclub - DJ Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet Cotton Patch - John Kolbeck Hangnail Gallery - Ashes of October, Knee Deep and Drowning, Tomorrow’s Regret, Agnostia Marlboro Station - Claire Storm Orange Moon - Smooth Jazz Sunday with Emery Bennet t Pizza Joint - Michael and Jayson The Shack - Karaoke with DJ Joe Steel, Sasha’s Cabaret Shannon’s - Roulet te

Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness Crossroads - Club Sin with DJ Mykie G Fox’s Lair - Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - John Michael’s - Mike Swif t Surrey Tavern - Pat Blanchard

Tuesday, 5th

Adams Nightclub - DJ The Bee’s Knees - 12 Tone Lounge Blind Pig - Sabo and the Scorchers Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Fox’s Lair - Open Mic Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - John Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Night with Sibin Michael’s - Mike Swif t Stool Pigeons - Karaoke Surrey Tavern - Tuesday Night Jam Session

Adams Nightclub - DJ The Bee’s Knees - Heliocentric Cinema Blind Pig - Live Music Club Argos - DJ Joe Steel Coliseum - Wet ‘n’ Wild Talent Search Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Ruskin Michael’s - Mike Swif t

Chris Isaak, Lisa Marie Presley - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 31 Train - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - July 31 Nickel Creek, Frank y Perez, Antigone Rising Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - Aug. 1 Restless Heart - Mable House Amphitheatre, Mableton, Ga. - Aug. 2 Eels - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Aug. 7 The B-52s - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Aug. 7 The Legendary Shack Shakers, James Mathus & His Knockdown Society - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - Aug. 7 Liz Phair, Hootie and the Blowfish, Tonic, The Clarks, Bain Mattox - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - Aug. 8 Three Dog Night - Columbus Civic Center, Columbus, Ga. - Aug. 8 The Headhunters - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta Aug. 9 Flashback Festival - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Aug. 9 Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Atlanta - Aug. 13 The New Amsterdams, Jesse Malin - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - Aug. 13 George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic, North Mississippi All-Stars, Kevn Kinney Band - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - Aug. 15 Atlanta Symphony Orchestra - Mable House Amphitheatre, Mableton, Ga. - Aug. 15 Joe Jackson Band - Roxy Theatre, Atlanta Aug. 15 Bebo Norman - Mable House Amphitheatre, Mableton, Ga. - Aug. 16 k.d. lang - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta Aug. 17 Saw Doctors - Variet y Playhouse, Atlanta Aug. 19 Huey Lewis and The News, Billy Bob Thornton - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Aug. 19 Gin Blossoms - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta Aug. 20 Carolyn Dawn Johnson - Wills Park Equestrian Center, Alpharet ta, Ga. - Aug. 21 Goo Goo Dolls, Pat McGee Band, Marc Broussard - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta Aug. 22 311 - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - Aug. 2 Indigo Girls - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - Aug. 23 Don McLean - Mable House Amphitheatre, Mableton, Ga. - Aug. 23 Blue Man Group, Tracey Bonham - Atlanta Civic Center, Atlanta - Aug. 23 Jump Little Children, Bain Mattox - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - Aug. 23 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w w.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda.jones@metrospirit.com or lisa.jordan@metrospirit.com.

The

White Party Saturday, August 9

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42 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 3 1 2 0 0 3

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n the heels of a journal report on increased use since 1999 of posthumous sperm extraction (so the family line can be continued even after the father passes away) came a June report than an Israeli researcher had grown maturing ovarian tissue in the lab after extracting it from aborted fetuses. If Dr. Tal BironShenton’s work eventually makes way for fully developed eggs, it would mean that a baby could be born even though her mother never was. • In June, Reuters profiled Jerri Lyons, 55, of Sebastopol, Calif., who conducts seminars on the legalities and etiquette of do-it-yourself funerals, which are supposedly becoming more popular as alternatives to $5,000 funeral home services. According to one Lyons client, personally bathing and dressing a deceased friend made the loss easier to accept. Tip: Ice must be applied after about 24 hours (packages of frozen vegetables OK). A funeral-industry analyst said Lyons was not a threat; of more concern to the industry these days was, as Reuters put it, “a soft mortality rate due in part to a weak flu season.” Recent Alarming Headlines • (1) “Man Gets Life Sentence for Spitting” (a Tulsa World report on the sentence of domestic abuser John Marquez, 36, who got one year for the assault and life for spitting on the arresting officer, Sapulpa, Okla., May). (2) “Male Infertility Can Be Passed on to Children” (a Reuters story on Cornell professor Gianpiero Palermo’s work, which reports that sperm from a lowsperm-count man can be injected into an egg to create an embryo, but that the embryo will still possess the genetic defect that led to the father’s low sperm count, July). Family Values • According to a wrongful firing lawsuit filed in June by a former media relations assistant for the Sacramento Kings pro basketball team, star player Doug Christie is not permitted to speak to any female other than his wife for any reason. The assistant said she was fired because she innocently passed along a telephone message to Christie in the course of her work, but that when Mrs. Christie found out, she pressured the organization to fire her and reaffirm the Christie family policy. • Child Care by Ultimatum: Norcross, Ga., police arrested parents Khalidan Tunkara, 28, and Olin Washington, 32, after one of whom, following a squabble in a parking lot, left their 9-month-old girl on the ground and drove away, intending to pressure the other parent to take the kid, but that parent then drove

off, too (April). The same thing happened with parents Jennifer Jones, 21, and the father of her 3-week-old girl, in front of a beauty salon in Elgin, Ill., where police found the baby in the street (February). The same thing happened with parents Christy Leann Radacy, 23, and the father of her 2-year-old twin daughters in Lake Worth, Texas, where police found the girls lying on busy state road 199 (May). • Earlier this year in Mobile, Ala., Daina Sancho, 42, and Irwin Vincent (“I.V.”) O’Rourke III, 14, were married after a several-months’ courtship. Said the boy’s approving father (of Sancho’s infatuation), “If you’ve met the man of your dreams, why wait?” The couple live in Gonzales, La., but I.V. could not marry there until he turns 16; Alabama permits 14-year-olds to marry if they have their parents’ permission. • On May 25 in the town of Baqubah, Iraq, Ms. Iman Salih Mutlak, 22, was gunned down by U.S. soldiers, who said she relentlessly charged at them, despite orders to halt, intending to explode the 10 grenades she was carrying. While some Iraqis treated her as a courageous martyr, her family in Zaqaniyah, Iraq, was disgusted with her, not because they are pro-American, but because she shamed them by leaving home without permission. Said her father, to an Associated Press reporter in May, “Had she returned home, I would have killed her myself and drunk her blood.” Compelling Explanations • The Pentagon’s Missile Defense Agency said that the June test launch of an SM-3 rocket in Hawaii, which failed to hit the incoming missile it was programmed to shoot down, was not a failure but actually a success. Said MDA spokesman Chris Taylor, “(I)ntercept was not the primary objective,” but rather, the gathering of “great engineering data” was. (A recent General Accounting Office report criticized the MDA for using “immature technology.”) • Where the Fault Lies: Gilbert D. Walker, 43, arrested (and then released) in Panama City, Fla., after crazily breaking into a neighbor’s house and chasing her with a dagger, said the problem was that he had drunk too much jasmine tea (July). And heroin-cocaine addict Amanda C. Hagan, 29, brought to a Norristown, Pa., hospital after an overdose, said it was the hospital’s fault that she shot up again in her bed because it let in the visitor who resupplied her (June). And fired Rochester, N.Y., police officer Clint Jackson, 24, convicted of fondling eight women during traffic stops, said he was contemplating a lawsuit against the police department for inadequate training (July). Least Competent Criminals • In June in the state penitentiary near Indiana, Pa., Raymond Davenport, 19, doing time for aggravated assault, told fellow inmates that he did not believe them when they told him that another inmate had recently gotten his hand stuck in a prison toilet. It was impossible, he said, and watch this! — he would show them. A short while later, guards had to call in civilian firefighters with an air chisel to free Davenport’s arm. — Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

This horoscope is a collaboration between me and Rumi, a Sufi poet who died 730 years ago. “All disquiet springs from a search for quiet,” Rumi would like you to know. “And so the best way to cultivate inner peace,” I add, “is to learn to love the way everything keeps changing.” Rumi continues: “All illnesses spring from scavenging for delicacies.” I conclude: “So pluck the simple, inexpensive riches that are right in front of you.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

A long-distance runner I know prepares for his competitions in a way that seems counterintuitive. For his next race, a 38-mile marathon in August, he has been running five miles a day four times a week. He will never actually practice a 38-mile jaunt in one stretch. This approach has never failed him in preparing for previous races. Like him, Taurus, you will soon be called on to pull off a marathon version of a task you’ve been doing on a smaller scale. By my astrological reckoning, you’ll have all the stamina and savvy you need to succeed.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Decide what mental pictures you’re sick and tired of looking at, then banish them from the sacred temple of your imagination. Next, browse the fertile depths of your subconscious mind, searching for exciting new mental pictures that you want to install in your awareness full time. For instance, you might want to exorcise a certain fearful scenario that pops up whenever you’re under stress, and replace it with a bright, shiny vision of you at the top of your game.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Many fantastic beasts that are known to Harry Potter and his fellow wizards are invisible to Muggles, the ordinary people. They include the yeti, also know as bigfoot; the clabbert, a treedwelling animal that’s a cross between a monkey

and a frog; and the phoenix, a bird that periodically bursts into flames, dies, then resurrects itself from its ashes. But my favorite magical creature is the billywig, a mosquito-like insect whose sting causes its victims to become giddy and levitate off the ground. Even if you’re a Muggle, I predict you will have an experience that resembles a billywig bite in the coming week. An annoying prick will lead to a pleasant floating sensation.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

The force of gravity can’t be seen, heard or touched, and almost no one can explain it. There wasn’t even a word for it until the seventeenth century, when Isaac Newton identified it and gave it a name, borrowing the Latin term gravitas, meaning “heaviness” or “seriousness.” I predict that you’ll enjoy a similar breakthrough in the next month, Leo. You will finally recognize an essential energy or power or beauty that has forever been a secret to you, even though it has always been all around you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Largely because of humans, animal and plant species are dying off at a record rate. The earth is in the midst of the greatest mass extinction since the disappearance of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago. If the trend continues, a quarter of the mammals will be gone in 30 years, and half of all species will be exterminated by 2100. Most people aren’t consciously aware of the ongoing annihilation, yet we all feel it in our bones and know it in our souls. As a result, we carry a huge load of unacknowledged grief. If you wonder why you sometimes feel down or anxious even though your life is going well, this secret tragedy may be the cause. Now is an excellent time to tune in to the sadness, Virgo, and recognize that it’s not caused by your personal failure.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The legislatures of most American states have devoted a lot of time to choosing their power symbols.

Pennsylvania, for instance, has made the chocolate chip cookie its Official State Cookie. The bola tie is the Official State Neckwear of Arizona; the morel is the Official State Mushroom of Minnesota; the Tule duck decoy is the Official Artifact of Nevada; and “Red or green?” is the official state question of New Mexico. According to my astrological analysis, Libra, you’re in a phase when you should make similar designations for your own personal empire. What is your official cookie, neckwear, mushroom, artifact and question? Don’t stop there. Add at least 20 more categories.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In a study of modern democracy, a British political scientist has concluded that lying is necessary and justifiable. “Politics should be regarded as less like an exercise in producing truthful statements and more like a poker game,” said Glen Newey. “And there is an expectation by a poker player that you try to deceive them as part of the game.” Personally, I find this attitude distasteful. My policy is to never be dishonest if I can help it. But then I have the luxury to live like that. As a self-employed poet, I don’t have to hash out compromises with ideological adversaries or hang out in moral gray areas in order to serve a greater good. But your path may be different, Scorpio. In August, you might have to lie a little as you fight for a noble cause.

she goaded me and five other guests not to speak but rather to sing everything we wanted to communicate. For the next two hours we improvised a cappella melodies and rhythms as we carried on our meandering discourse. I came away inspired to write two new songs, which I produced the next day. Now listen to this, Capricorn: Your own personal equivalent of Jane Heaven is either already in your life, waiting for you to ask for more direct help, or else is hovering close by, ready to be summoned.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

On a “Star Trek” rerun, a female starship captain 370 years in the future was considering a love affair with a nineteenth-century Irish bartender — or rather a hologram of the bartender in a realistic holographic recreation of an Irish village. Though she felt an attraction, she wished several things about the man were different. Since she literally had the power to reprogram him, she did, creating an even more desirable character. But after their fling she felt remorse and sought advice from the ship’s non-human doctor. “I’ve noticed you humans often try to change those you fall in love with,” the doc noted. “Why is that?” Let this serve as a teaching story for you, Aquarius. You may feel like redesigning people you love in the coming weeks, but I suggest you change yourself instead.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Songbirds are disappearing all over the world, in part due to deforestation. If current trends continue, the tunes of Yellow-Throated Warblers and RedEyed Vireos, along with many others, will be gone forever. Meanwhile, crows, starlings and blue jays are enjoying a population explosion. You’ll be hearing a lot more of their shrieks in the coming years. While you may not be able to do anything to prevent this, Pisces, being aware of it could help you avoid an analogous development in your personal life. In August, encourage your inner bird — the part of you that loves to take flight — to be melodious rather than shrill. — © Rob Brezsny

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

I’ve tried a wide variety of meditative practices from many traditions. I’ve calmed myself through rhythmic breathing; watched bemusedly as the nonstop cavalcade of images paraded across my mind; visualized sacred mandalas and cultivated unconditional love; taken rigorous inventories to determine whether the integrity of my actions matches my high ideals. And that’s just a few. But in 25 years, I’ve never heard of a meditation that asks me to go into a public place, take my attention completely off myself and observe people with precise and compassionate objectivity. Luckily, you’re in a perfect phase to pioneer this radical new mode. It’ll energize you enormously. My friend Jane Heaven is an uncanny catalyst. Good things happen for me when she’s around; interesting connections and fun challenges pop up. Why? It has to do with her curiosity and willingness to try new things. One night on her radio talk show on KPFA,

1-900-950-7700

$1.99 per minute • 18 & over • touchtone phone required • C/S 612-373-9785 • www.freewillastrology.com

y ACROSS

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

1 Having job

security, in a way

8 Communist

leader after Mao

27 Mother ___

59 Without

28 The Hanged

Man, e.g.

33 Something to

shoot for

34 Math. class

12 Square parts

35 Affect drastically

13 Where to see

36 Heart

some clowns

37 Cohort

15 Architect Jones

39 Actress Graff

16 Musket

41 Duncan’s denial

Cathedral in Londonderry

19 Descent, as of

an airplane

21 Is a big burden

(on)

24 Hard to find 25 Peace Corps

cousin

5 Hand-woven

7 Disappointing

49 Opinion 50 Owning lots of

land

57 About 35.3

recipient

9 Minneapolis

suburb

10 Dry region

cubic feet

58 They may need

to dry out

mark

8 Largesse

south of Beersheba

11 Foolish

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE 12 Scholarship I N T E S A B L R E S E M I N T E M O U N P I N T A S I S L E N E D G I C D O Z E I T E M M I R E C O N

R S E E A T W C H A O R I R S E C D S S C O P O U N O M S E R O N C E N A B D I S O N E C E N

C O A S T I N G N O H I T

T N T

I M M P U I O N A L E N S D S F A C A R T R A R T S H O E T R A

O R A L U N H U R T

criterion

N E D 13 It’s illegal at some T E intersections S E 18 Some capts. are part of it T S E A 20 Edible pockets E S 21 Features of N S some I E apartments E D 22 One side in the

Cod War N O R U D E 25 Dash T E D 26 Dictator Amin

17 21

20 23

4 ___ Pass, near

48 Practical joke

51 Joseph, for one

23 Offense

setting

3 Midwest state:

6 N.Y. summer

shot faces

14 16

42 What a long

2 Wrapped up

Scandinavian rug

1 Go-getter

Pikes Peak

38 Tears apart

extension?

DOWN

Abbr.

14 Kitchen gizmo

17 St. ___

exception

39 44

45 49

48 51

57 58

Puzzle by Randolph Ross

29 Of concern to

beekeepers

30 Throwback

6/19/03 (No. 0619)

42 Lens

47 Salon supply

43 Half a literary

52 Close relative

leaf

31 Start for step or

44 Everglades

32 What passes

45 Mimics

stop

may lead to, briefly

40 “Ha-ha,” online

wader

46 Words on a

Wonderland cake

53 Kind of

molecule

54 Cabinet dept. 55 West end? 56 Card game with

forfeits

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($34.95 a year). Crosswords for young solvers: The Learning Network, nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

The love of your life is waiting. Go to www.metrospirit.com to place your FREE personal ad in

43 M E T R O S P I R I T J U L Y 3 1 2 0 0 3

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Changing Lives

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y husband’s a great guy, but we’ve lost romantic interest in each other. After 10 years together, I’m no supermodel, and he’s as romantic as a refrigerator. I’ve fallen in love with someone else — Frodo Baggins, the lead Hobbit in the movie “The Lord of the Rings.” By that, I mean I took a movie character whose looks I like, and fantasized his personality into the sort of man I’d always dreamed of. I developed this escape technique as a teenager, and can’t seem to break it. The fact is, real life is drab and fantasy is exciting. When my husband and I met, he made my fantasy boyfriend seem boring in comparison. If I force myself to focus on real life and my real-life man, maybe I could be happy. Without expensive therapy, how do I break up with my fantasy boyfriend forever? — Dreaming of Middle Earth

What happened, you logged into the famous dude fantasy store and all the Daniel DayLewises, Brad Pit ts and Johnny Depps were taken? One would hope. Because, if your firstchoice fantasy is falling into the arms of a four-foot dwar f with dir ty fingernails, pointy ears and big hairy feet — well, it’s a good thing you didn’t go into more detail about your reality, just in case anyone’s reading this while eating. In the movie, your unlikely hero, Frodo, nobly volunteered for a quest he didn’t want and wobbled of f in hopes of saving the world from big, black doom — all the while looking very Bambi-in-headlights about the whole deal. Yes, in a world of Terminator 3’s, you go for The Twerpinator. At least you’re original. Despite Frodo’s twerpiness, he does fit the mold of the Prince Charming type — those guys who are supposed to “save” (bored, lethargic) damsels from their (dull) distress. That’s really what you’re af ter, right? Glass slippers and all. Well, guess what? In real life, glass slippers give you corns. If you want something from your husband, don’t sit around waiting for him to notice the big comic strip thought bubble over your head, ask him for it: “Yo, hub, would you consider get ting a small field of hair plugs implanted in the tops of your feet ... just for me? How about doing that frat par ty trick where a guy walks on his knees with his shir t and pants arranged so he looks four feet tall?” The nex t step is asking him what he’s into. Sounds like it used to be giving

you what you’re into — until you withdrew into your head with dwar f boy, and locked your husband out. Gee, could that be contributing to what you describe as his current major appliance-like state? I wonder! You got stuck on the four-foot stud by thinking about him constantly; unstick yourself by unthinking about him constantly. (Self-discipline, how kinky!) The moment he pops into your mind, swat him out and replace him with thoughts of your husband. For example: what you can do for your husband, ways you can have fun with your husband and what’s sexy about a man who isn’t easily mistaken for a furry nightstand. Regarding your desire to avoid “expensive therapy,” how much is your marriage wor th to you? $5? $50? $500? Should you reach your cutof f point, at least have the decency to upgrade your mental infidelity figure to the likes of Hugh Jackman, Taye Diggs or Orlando Bloom. No mat ter what you do, your husband will never become your Hobbit, but if you care enough to put in the ef for t, you might someday have yourself a real Mini-Me among men.

I recently dated a beautiful woman with low self-esteem. Although I told her she’s a wonderful person, did little things for her and made her feel like a real woman, she’s given me the brush off. Why won’t people afflicted with this mentality let someone positive into their life? — Underappreciated Savior Before you came around to make her feel like “a real woman,” what did she feel like — a giant skin tag with ladies’ bathroom privileges? If so, that’s exactly how she still feels, no mat ter how many times you told her how wonder ful she is. That approach is about as ef fective as sticking lit tle “feel bet ter about myself” notes on the mirror: “I’m a great girl,” “My eyebrows are well-arched,” “I’m good at slicing cheese.” In volume, these notes do have an ef fect: blocking one’s view of the idiot who believes in the healing power of stick-on flat tery. That said, there are a few notes that could be of help to you. Write and paste the following on your mirror: “You can’t have a healthy relationship with an unhealthy person” and “I will not say ‘made her feel like a real woman’” ever again, unless I meet someone who’s turned on by men who sound like feminine hygiene commercials from the ‘70s. — © 2003, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem? Write Amy Alkon

171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

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Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net HEART OF GOLD SWM, 31, 6’3”, 210lbs, brown/blue, enjoys reading, movies, travel, sports. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎556440 SUN AND FUN SWM, 43, 5’7”, 160lbs, medium build, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, dancing. Seeking SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎558039 NEW TO AREA SBM, 5’3”, 185lbs, enjoys travel, working out, sports, music, reading. Seeking attractive, outgoing SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎559583 ARE YOU THE ONE? SBM, 34, 5’10”, 170lbs, enjoys bowling, movies, travel, dining out, reading. Seeking positive, active woman to enjoy life with. ☎561078 NEW TO AREA SBM, 30, 5’7”, medium build, caramel skin, Gemini, smoker, works in health care field. Seeking BF, 25-35, sure of herself. ☎568136 LOOKING FOR MS. RIGHT SWM, 37, 5’9”, 180lbs, enjoys biking, sports, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, attractive SF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎557954 OUTDOORSMAN SWM, 19, Capricorn, N/S, landscape architect, likes sporting events, movies, fishing, hunting, anything outdoors, seeks SWF, 18-25, N/S, similar interests, who is outgoing, likes to have fun. ☎541345 SOMETHING TO ADD? SBM, 42, Gemini, N/S, 6’, enjoys going out, romance, seeks SWF, 25-40, N/S, who will have something to add to a relationship. ☎546480

READ ON SWM, 29, Pisces, N/S, 6’3”, 235lbs, athletic, likes the outdoors, playing sports, watching sports, going out to eat, watching movies. Seeks SWF, 23-35, N/S, for dating. ☎549310 SEEKING FUN SHF SWM, 26, smoker, 5’11”, 195lbs, former military, security guard, will be joining police academy, likes to hang out, go to bars, have good time. Seeks SHF, 18-32, for fun, dating. ☎534532 HERE I AM SBM, 32, 6’9”, glasses, Aries, smoker, loves singing, drawing, and dining out. Seeking a woman, 21-56, with whom to connect. ☎430788 ONE-IN-A-MILLION SBM, 19, Sagittarius, N/S, 5’9”, braids, gray eyes, medium build, likes to have a good time, seeks compatible woman, 18-30. ☎531369 SEEKING NATURALIST SM, 50, 5’11”, 163lbs,enjoys travel, fine dining, swimming, the arts. Seeking adventurous, attractive, fit SF, with similar interests, to explore the world with. ☎516833 THANK YOU VERY MUCH SWM, 25, 5’9”, 164lbs, brown/hazel, told he looks like Elvis Presley, Rick Nelson, and one of the Everly Brothers, enjoys fishing, history, art. Seeking WF, 19-26, N/S. ☎508305 NO GAMES HERE SBM, 36, brown/brown, long distance truck driver, Aries, smoker, seeks honest W/HF, 3036, smoker, who likes to travel and is looking for LTR. ☎509226 TAKE ME AS I AM SWM, 31, 5’6”, medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, enjoys movies and more. Seeking SWF, 25-35, N/S, N/D, who enjoys good times, dating, for LTR. ☎341418

Stud Finder YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

I’D LIKE TO HEAR... what you have to say. SBF, 18, 5’5”, darkskinned, pretty, Aries, N/S, enjoys shopping, vacations, and movies. Seeking a man, 20-28. ☎578781 LEASING W/OPTION TO BUY SBF, 30, fun, outgoing, romantic Pisces, N/S, enjoys song writing, music, traveling, and conversation. Seeking man, 30-50, for friendship and more. ☎567142 LOOKING FOR LOVE SWF, 24, blonde/brown, attractive, compassionate, easygoing, desires SWM, 24-34, honest, open-minded for friendship and companionship. ☎323553 STILL SEARCHING SWF, 47, 5’8”, 148lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, interests vary, seeks SWM, 37-48, for LTR. ☎342017 TABLE FOR TWO SWF, 57, 5’4”, blond/green, easygoing, outgoing, enjoys cooking, fishing, reading, NASCAR. Seeking honest, respectful S/DWM, 57-65. ☎965851 OLD-FASHIONED VALUES Honest, relaxed, christian SBF, 56, Aries, N/S, enjoys cooking, dining out, quiet times at home. Seeking marriage-minded, financially secure SBM, 50-56, N/S, for LTR. ☎829149 RAINY DAYS AND COOKING... are a few of my delights. DBF, 38, 5’5”, 125lbs, pecan tan complexion, laid-back, down-toearth, Aquarius, smoker, N/D, seeks BM, 3045. ☎569952 JUST BE THERE FOR ME SBF, 23, 5’2”, Pisces, N/S, enjoys traveling. Seeking a romantic WM, 25-31, N/S, for LTR. ☎576613 MAKE YOUR OWN DESTINY Loving, intelligent SBF, 34, seeks SBM, 35-45, for companionship, long walks, movies, dining out and more. ☎550597 SEEKING DECENT MAN SBCF, 32, Cancer, N/S, CNA, likes having fun, going to the movies, eating out, fishing, looking for decent man, 25-45, N/S, who is hardworking and will treat her with respect. ☎544912 TAKE ME DANCING SWF, 25, 5’9”, blonde/brown, Gemini, N/S, seeks WM, 30-38, N/S, who likes kids. For dating. ☎385501 BEACH BUM SBF, 31, with bachelor’s degree in communications, Taurus, N/S, loves dining out, movies, working out, and reading. Seeking man, 26-36. ☎869451 COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 48, enjoys antiquing, travel, dining out, movies and more. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. ☎732056 SINGLE MOM SEEKING SBF, 20, Gemini, N/S, mother of twins, likes going to the park, spending time with family, going to the mall, movies, seeks compatible SBM, 18-35, N/S. ☎532672 GREAT PERSONALITY SWF, 45, 5’2”, blonde/blue, likes cooking, bowling, movies, travel. Seeking affectionate, caring, compassionate SM, N/S, financially secure, for dating, possible LTR. ☎525164 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? SWF, 48, Cancer, N/S, seeks WM, 40-56, who wants to have a great relationship. Why not give me a call? You never know. ☎511453 WHOLE LOTTA LOVE SBF, 33, would like to share movies, dinners, quiet evenings at home, the usual dating activities, with a great guy. ☎463610 OUTGOING WF, 50s, 5’5”, 150lbs, brunette, likes dining out, dancing, cooking, interior decorating, more. Give me a call. ☎443130

BIG HEART, BIG BRAIN? Creative, expressive SF, 41, graphic artist, loves the country, with passion for gardening, nature, flora/fauna, needlework( knitting, crochet, quilting). Seeking creative, spiritual man, to share hopes, dreams, desires. ☎483300 MAYBE YOU’RE THE 1 SBF, 30, 5’7”, brown complexion, auburn/ brown, thick, seeks independent, loving SM, who’s fun, active, commitment-minded, a handyman type, to share romance, fun, friendship and a possible lasting relationship. ☎488232 ARIES/TAURUS DWCF, 52, 5’4”, brown/green, likes the beach, playing pool, sailing, flea markets, dining, movies at home, stargazing. Looking for tall, honest, kind, affectionate, Christian man, 3958. Let’s adore each other. ☎479572 ALL I WANT IS YOU SB mom, 28, is in search of a man, 25-45, who would want to start off as friends, leading into more. ☎459939 DON’T PASS ME BY SHF, 18, 5’1”, 126lbs, short/brown, would like to meet a guy for bowling, dancing and romance. ☎463061 LOVES TO LAUGH Attractive SWF, 19, 5’9”, Libra, smoker, seeks WM, 18-35, for a solid, good, honest friendship leading towards LTR. ☎455393 LOOKING FOR YOU SWF, 37, 5’6”, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys mountains, bowling, the beach and music. Seeking WM, 35-48, N/S, to be a companion, friend. ☎456544 NO INTRO NEEDED SBCF, 26, 5’4”, 130lbs, single parent of a 7year-old son, very independent, Gemini, N/S, seeks BM, 27-40, to be my friend. ☎432010 SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT SBPF, 39, Libra, loves church, traveling, movies, and dining out. Seeking SBPM, 37-60, for possible LTR. ☎421273 A SPECIAL SOMEONE SBF, 25, mother, seek financially stable, independent man, 20-45, who loves children, for LTR . ☎415803 A SIMPLE GAL SWF, 35, 5’4”, seeks laid back man, 18-40, for casual dating, friendship maybe more. ☎418340 NICE EVENINGS Attractive SBF, 35, enjoys nice evenings, conversation, seeking loving SBM, 30-37, for nice evenings. ☎400597 OUTGOING/OUTDOORS TYPE Tall, full-figured, SF, 5’10, long red hair, green eyes, outgoing, outdoors type, spends allot of time with two children, likes movies and sports. Seeking compatible SM, 24-40. ☎402582 LIGHT UP MY LIFE Beautiful BF, 60, 5’11”, with a brown complexion, N/S, N/D, has lots of love and passion to share with a SBM, who goes to church. ☎383766 MORE THAN AVERAGE Slender SBF, 53, 5’2”, independent, Aries, smoker, loves music, conversation, laughter. Seeking independent, mature SBM, 48-65, for friendship first. ☎369627 HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER SWF, 57, 5’11”, 130lbs, very trim, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys canoeing, backpacking, nature photography, and hiking. Seeking WM, 52-62, N/S, with similar interests. ☎358288 ATTENTION! Your military date is in Augusta. SF seeks military male, 29-45, with good sense of humor, good values/qualities. No abusers. Race open. Children ok. Will answer all. ☎334255 A LOT TO OFFER SWPF, 39, 5’2”, 155lbs, loves, sports, dining out, cooking, movies, walks in the park, playing pool, travel, dining out. Seeking young man, with similar interests, for friendship and companionship. ☎321666

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SEEKS HONESTY SM, 55, 6’, 200lbs, professionally employed, seeks outgoing, fun, sincere lady to share casual times, friendship, fun and maybe something more later on. ☎494413 WELL-ROUNDED SM, 27, loves art, theater, movies, music, long walks, conversation. Desires to meet attractive, J cultured, social woman for dating, possibly U more. ☎471543 L ARE YOU THE ONE? Y SM, 29, enjoys tennis, movies, dancing, dining out, long walks, antiques, Asian culture. 3 Seeking confident, sweet, good-natured woman for LTR. ☎471619 1 HARD-WORKING SWCM, 48, enjoys sports, travel, dining out, 2 dancing, reading, movies. Seeking stable, sin0 cere woman, with similar interests, for friend0 ship, possible LTR. ☎474643 3 NEVER BEEN MARRIED SWM, 40, would like to meet a woman who enjoys simple pleasures such as outdoor fun, music and exercise. ☎463381 WANNA DANCE? SWM, 37, smoker, wants to share outdoor fun (fishing, hunting, camping), with a wonderful woman. ☎464905 SOMETHING SO RIGHT SWM, 46, 5’8”, 195lbs, wants to meet a lady with good moral character, who is looking for a lasting relationship. ☎464950 TRY ME SBM, 31, enjoys sports, movies, park walks, good conversation. Seeking pretty, honest SF, to share these with. ☎448964 WELL-ROUNDED MAN Educated DBPM, 41, 5’11”, loves reading, working out, the arts, dining out, travel, quiet times. Would like to meet female, 30-45, with similar interests, for fun, friendship, and maybe more. ☎442021 I CAN COOK SWM, 51, 6’1”, 193lbs, with blue eyes and a laid-back attitude, seeks a woman with a spontaneous, creative spirit. ☎434997 TAKE ME ON Male, 34, 5’10”, 180lbs, black/hazel, Capricorn, financially secure, smoker, seeks woman, 2739, smoker, petite, who loves Nascar and beaches. ☎429058 SAY ‘BYE TO LONELINESS Male, 35, 5’2”, H/W proportionate, attractive, light-skinned, Leo, proportionate, smoker, seeks woman, 18-35, laid-back, committed, and faithful. ☎432003 YOU AND ME SWM, 34, enjoys outdoors, good times, movies, laughter, romance. Seeking loving, caring SWF, 20-50, for LTR. ☎412476 JUST FOR YOU SWM, 29, brown/green, 5’8”, 150lbs, employed, seeks outgoing, active SWF, 21-35, who can appreciate a loving man. ☎416629 COMMITMENT SM, 6’1”, 205lbs, outspoken, outgoing, very loving, looking for SF, who is not afraid of commitment, is loving and caring. ☎406726 LET’S CHAT SWM, 53, Scorpio, N/S, college-educated, easygoing, enjoys travel and beaches. Seeking friendship, possible LTR with a WF, 45-55, N/S. ☎358466 COMPATIBLE WOMAN WANTED DWM, 46, 5’9”, N/S, slim build, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys old cars, boating, classic rock, horror movies, mountains, beach. Seeking SWF, 3846, N/S, for LTR. ☎341454 SEEKING TRUE LOVE Handsome SBM, 39, compassionate, financially secure, seeks romantic, attractive, compassionate BF, 21-45, for romantic dinners, movies, walks along the beach, true friendship, LTR. You won’t be disappointed. ☎920361 SAY YOU, SAY ME SWM, 25, 5’10”, 165lbs, medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, outgoing, energetic, seeks WF, 19-28, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎302503 YOU SUPPLY... the marshmallows. I’ll supply the bonfire, SWM, 36, truck driver, Aries, N/S, loves camping. Seeking a woman, 40-58. ☎316730

LET’S FALL IN LOVE SM, 25, enjoys travel, movies, writing. Looking for a good woman, 25-42, who shares some of these interests. ☎281603 LET’S HOOK UP 34-year-old SBM, 5’9”, 180lbs, Aquarius, nurse, bald head, new to area, open-minded, fun-loving, hopeless romantic. Seeking woman who loves to be romanced. ☎849401

ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, funloving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. ☎257126 WHAT’S HAPPENING? SWM, 30, 5’7”, 200lbs, brown/blue, Aries, N/S, seeks BM, 19-35, N/S, outgoing, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎958402

Men Seeking Men Women Seeking Women

IS IT YOU? SGF, 42, soft stud, loves movies, cuddling, traveling, plays, comedy. Seeking feminine Christian female, compassionate and understanding, with like interests, to share friendship, good times and maybe something more. ☎487095 SEEKING A RELATIONSHIP GBF, 24, enjoys dancing, sports, movies, music, quiet evenings. seeks goal-oriented GPF, 24-33, who knows what she wants. ☎474251 HAVE A GOOD TIME SB mom of two, 35, wishes to spend time, conversations, friendship and life with a great lady. ☎458794

LOOKING FOR LOVE GWM, 41, 5’8’, 140lbs, Pisces, enjoys fishing, television, wood working, gardening, arts, crafts. Seeking GWM, 25-45, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎705204 MASCULINE AND FIT SWM, 39, Libra, smoker, 5’8”, brown/brown, masculine, works out, fit, likes movies, riding bikes, camping, cooking, time at home. Seeks SWM, 30-43, with similar interests. ☎545309 LET’S MEET FOR COFFEE Good-looking GWM, 36, 6’, 200lbs, muscular, tan, enjoys working out, yard work, spending time with my dogs. Looking for attractive SM, 32-48, for dating, maybe leading to LTR. ☎436231 RELAXING AT HOME SBM, 35, Virgo, N/S, likes relaxing at home, fun, concerts, trips going to the beach. Seeks fun, spontaneous SBM, 26-37, N/S. ☎532700 YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me? ☎927707 YOU NEVER KNOW Fun-loving, easygoing GWM, 51, 5’11”, 198lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, fishing, walking. Seeking interesting GWM, 18-33, who’s full of life, for casual relationship, possibly more. ☎676662 A NEW START Retired, fit, outgoing GWM, 44, enjoys walks, movies, sports, reading. Seeking outgoing GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎527836 ARE YOU THE ONE? SWM, 34, 6’1”, 195lbs dark blond/blue, goatee, enjoys quiet nights home, going out with friends, travel. Looking for masculine, easygoing SW/HM, 18-38, for casual dates, possible LTR. ☎502698 TAKE A CHANCE GWM, 43, 6’2”, 195lbs, black brown, seeks other GWM, for fun times and maybe something more. ☎493530 COULD IT BE YOU AND ME? GWM, 24, enjoys quiet evenings, movies, quiet evenings at home, dining out. Seeking fun, outgoing GM, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎471342 BOY NEXT DOOR SAM, 27, 5’9”, 147lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks WM, 25-45, who enjoys fun times and a true friendship. ☎456425 ME IN A NUTSHELL WM, 18, brown/blue, medium build, looking for fun, outgoing, energetic guy, 18-30, for movies, hanging out, quiet evenings at home, and more. Friends first, maybe becoming serious. ☎425471 SEEKING THE REAL THING BM, 32, 5’8”, 200lbs, enjoys reading, cooking, dining out, movies, spending quality time at home. Seeking WM, 25-35, who has similar interests, and wants a long-term, monogamous relationship. ☎389698 LET’S GET CRAZY SWM, 35, 6’1”, with green eyes, is in search of a man to get together with, and share good times. ☎384239 LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP Senior SWM seeks sincere, honest SWM, 2545, to share home and lifestyle. Many interests including gardening, cooking, arts and crafts, travel, camping. ☎294303

How do you

AVID READER Quiet SF, 24, part-time student, into all types of music, especially oldies, pets, writing poetry. Seeking a female, 24-40, with same interests. ☎283861 GIVE ME A TRY GWF, 27, 5’7”, 150lbs, brown/blue, enjoys dancing, movies, travel, conversation. Seeking attractive, warm GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎553580 LOOKING FOR LOVE GBF, 19, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports. Seeking GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎554721 WAITING FOR YOU GWF, 18, 5’4”, blonde/blue, enjoys music, movies, animals, travel, dining out. Seeking outgoing, honest GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎527575

WHY WAIT? SWF, 38, 5’6”,140lbs, short brown hair, easygoing, enjoys playing golf, the beach. Seeking feminine female, 20-40, to have fun times and more. ☎448489 GOAL ORIENTED Intelligent, happy, attractive SBF, 23, student, seeks similar SBF, 24-40, N/S, for all that life has to offer. ☎411842 LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. ☎388943 ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES SBF, 30, 5’5”, with brown eyes, seeks a woman, 30-36, to hang out with, get to know, and see where it goes. ☎380595 OPEN-MINDED CHIC Broken-hearted GWF, 30, Libra, smoker, seeks woman, 20-45, to mend my heart. Let’s not be afraid of who we are. ☎370110

“EVERYONE’S BEST FRIEND” GWF, 26, 5’6”, medium build, likes watching movies, bowling, hanging out, malls, phone conversations. Seeking fun-loving, seriousminded GWF, 22-35, medium build, for friendship and possibly more. ☎335046 BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies. Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329063 A REFRESHING CHANGE SWF, 30, Libra, smoker, is hoping to find it in a woman, 25-45. Will show a lot of a affection. ☎307177 FALL FEVER SWPF, 46, 5’6”, 129lbs, college graduate, enjoys reading , home movies, camping, country-living, seeks same in SWF, 45-50. ☎965910 LOOKING FOR LOVE SBF, 32, 140lbs, 5’8”, down-to-earth, likes clubs, movies, and quiet times. Looking for a female, 30-35, with the same interests. If you’re the one, call me. Aiken, South Carolina. ☎113533 OUTGOING FUN WF, 28... 5’3”, medium build, loves movies, putt-putt golf, and bowling. Seeking WF, 25-40, medium build, for fun and friendship. Hope to hear from you soon. ☎958847 NO INTRO NEEDED SWF, 39, 5’7”, 145lbs, homeowner, easygoing, selfless, Taurus, smoker, loves movies and bowling. Seeking WF, 35-49, with comparable interests. ☎935299 I WON’T LET YOU DOWN Single GBF, 32, mother, non-smoker, looking to become acquainted with a laid-back, sensual GBF, who enjoys quiet times, movies. Interested? ☎910581

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Photo of Scott Simon by Lisa Berg

1923 Walton Way Open Mon-Fri for Happy Hour @ 6:00pm with $1 off everything Every Fri & Sat Garage Party from 9-10 with all drinks only $1 (Everything $1)

Monday-Sunday Happy Hour from 4pm-12 midnight $2 Long necks $3 Wells

Private Investigator

Dead Bodies Wanted

SPECIAL READINGS WITH CARD

Club Argos Dance Club & The Tower of Argos Leather Bar Augusta’s Premier Progressive House Dance & Entertainment Zone with DJ Joe Steel.

AFFORDABLE • CONVIENENT Tan At Home Payments From $25/month FREE Color-Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1305 (07/31#8131)

S P I R I T J U L Y

Now Hiring! X-Mar t Currently hiring full time clerks. Neat appearance, cashier experience preferred. Apply in person 1367 Gordon Highway. For directions call 706-774-9755 (7/31#8103)

If You’re not Partying at Argos, The Tower of Argos or at The Shack…

M E T R O

Call us at (800) 654-3038 or visit us at www.gpb.org for more information about our programming.

*Every Tire Includes 30 Day Ride Guarantee | Free Mounting | Free Lifetime Rotation

Continental Touring LX 70,000 Mile Warranty

P175/70R13

P185/65R14.............$74.99 P195/65R15.............$78.99 P205/65R15.............$79.99 P215/65R15.............$81.99 P205/70R15.............$76.99

75 & 80 Series only

Incredible Buy 4

P155/80R13

P185/75R14 P195/75R14

P205/75R14

Oil Change & Filter

P195/60HR14........$68.99 P195/60HR15........$70.99 P205/60HR15........$72.99

80,000 M ile Warranty

LT TRUCK / SUV

/T Dueler H

P175/70R13

60,000 M ile Warranty

P235/75R15..........$84.99 P235/70R15..........$88.99 P255/70R16........$104.99

Touring LP

80,000 Mile Performance Touring R adial

P225/75R15 P235/75R15

P195/70R14 . . .$58.99 P205/70R15 . . .$61.99 P195/65R15 . . .$64.99

High P erformance 50,000 M ile Warranty

Limited Treadwear Warranty Ask for details

P175/70R13

P205/65R15 . . .$67.99 P225/60R16 . . .$79.99

Brakes

P195/65HR15 .....$58.99 P195/60HR15 .....$53.99 P205/60HR15 .....$56.99

A/C Check

6 Month/6,000 Mile Warranty

Oil Changes Include:

• Up to 5 Qts. 10W30 • New Oil Filter • Lubrication Where Applicable

99 $

W/ completed Tires Plus Credit Card Application

Most cars & light trucks. Offer Ends 8-30-03

OFF

THRUST

Ask About Our Lifetime Warranty! 4-Wheel $49.99

Most cars & light trucks. Offer Ends 8-30-03

Any Brake Service over $99.99

Most cars & light trucks. Offer Ends 8-30-03

P185/65R15

P205/55HR16 .....$73.99 P245/45HR17 ...$104.99

Summer Maintenance

99 $

Complete visual inspection of the a/c system, including performance, pressure and leakage tests. Refrigerant exta.

Most cars & light trucks. Offer Ends 8-30-03

Battery Check

Most cars & light trucks Offer Ends 8-30-03

P205/75R15

20 16 99 39 FREE! FREE! FREE! 8

P185/60HR14

40,000 M ile Warranty

P185/65R14 . . . .$57.99 P205/65R15 . . . .$67.99 P225/60R16 . . . .$78.99

TOURING

Luxury Performance

Alignment

Eager

P175/70R13

65,000 M ile Warranty

40,000 MILE WARRANTY

P205/75R15 P215/75R15

Here’s just what you need to start a new revolution. Tires Plus

4$FOR 4$FOR 4$FOR

PERFORMANCE

DAYS!

P195/70R14..........$78.99 P205/70R15..........$92.99 P215/70R15..........$95.99

Executive 40,000 MILE WARRANTY

Insignia

S-T Turanza L

* Prices good on in-stock Continental Touring LX tires only. No other discounts or offers apply. See store for details Offer Ends 08/31/03

40,000 MILE WARRANTY

PASSENGER

*With tire purchase. Balancing and stems extra.

Coolant flush, oil change & filter, 4-tire rotation & balance, front wiper blades, a/c check

Most cars & light trucks. Offer Ends 8-30-03

Brake Check

Most cars & light trucks Offer Ends 8-30-03

Mon - Fri 7-7 - Saturday 7-5 - Sunday 9-4 - No Dealers, please

AUGUSTA CLEARANCE CENTER 2705 Peach Orchard Rd. (Closed Sun) ......706-798-8882 AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 274 Rob’t C. Daniels Pkwy................................706-667-8008 CENTRAL AUGUSTA 617 15th Street (Closed Sun) ...............................706-724-5800 EVANS CROSSING 4359 Washington Rd. ...............................................706-210-8010

Alignment

Check

Most cars & light trucks Offer Ends 8-30-03

We Honor Most National Accounts

HEPHZIBAH 2601 Tobacco Rd. ...............................................................706-790-0977 MARTINEZ 3849 Washington Rd. .............................................................706-860-6303 N. AUGUSTA 404 E. Martintown Rd. (Closed Sun) .................................803-278-4466