I Am Enough Magazine by Dr. Anita M. Jackson

I Am Enough

™

Featured

The Movement in Words

An internationally recognized magazine

May 2015

“I Am Enough” Woman Kari Fox Kelly

Honor

Your

Authentic

Self

Shifting

Your Money Position

The POWER of SMART Goals

Burning Through The Veil of Illusion

Promises Powerful

Contents 26 36 14 34 18 30 16 20 22 24 12 32 IAE {

Living in Your Feminine Power Mastery Featured “I Am Enough” Woman ~ Kari Fox Kelly by Dr. Anita M. Jackson

The Angry Woman by Ivana Siska

Health & Wellness Mastery The POWER of SMART Goals

by Dr Elise Cohen Ho

Freedom from Food Paralysis by Sharon Otness

Emotional & Mental Mastery

Putting the R.A.P. in Rapport – Mastering the Art of High Power Communication by Dr. Karen Jacobson

A Well-Guarded Secret by Lisa D

16 30

Entrepreneurial & Wealth Mastery Words and Perceptions: Crafting and Protecting Your Brand by Teri Hockett

Shifting Your Money Position by Rebecca Hall Gruyter

Honor your Authentic Self Own the Power to Unleash Sales Success by Anne Johnson

Burning Through the Veil of Illusion by Blaze Lazarony

Relationship Mastery Powerful Promises by Monika Zands

Take Off Your Mask: The World Needs to See You by Becky & Cory Center

May 2015

Letter from the Publisher Dr. Anita M. Jackson “When a woman is awakened, mountains move.” ~ Chinese Proverb There is nothing more fulfilling than to connect to your purpose, work really smart, strategically, and hard, and then experience the fruits of your labor. As the publisher of I Am Enough magazine and a few other online magazines (Unleashed and Wealthy Woman) which I highly recommend you read (visit our website at www.iamenoughmagazine.com), I have never felt more proud of our team and publication than I did when I held a printed copy of I Am Enough in my hands. It was surreal seeing our labor of love in printed form. Then, when I reviewed this issue of articles, once again I felt this strong sense of pride in the amazing Featured Experts we have in I Am Enough. Within this issue, our experts have poured out their hearts and souls, sharing their wisdom and expertise to support you in being and living to your highest potential as an I Am Enough woman. Their deepest desire and intention is to empower all women to know they are enough and can be outrageously successful in their personal lives and business. The depth of their desire knows no bounds. Our experts truly understand that when a woman is fully grounded and confident in her true authentic identity, when a woman is living boldly and proudly in her truth, when she accepts her good, bad and ugly, she powerfully and undeniably transforms her life and the lives of others. In having the honor of working closely with each of our experts, I am privy to their challenges, ups and downs, failures (although we don’t call them that, instead we call them opportunities to grow) as well as witness to their successes. In these amazing connections, I can feel and see a powerful shift taking place within each one of them, and I believe you will experience that shift too as you read their articles. As a global transformational leader and success coach for women, I see a collective shift taking place as more women are pursuing leadership roles and positions that cause transformation not only in their own lives, but in their families, communities, and businesses. A new type of leadership for the world is merging, and it’s about time. I am reminded of the Dali Lama’s powerful proclamation that “…the western woman will save the world…” This is a crucial time for women to STEP (rather than lean) into their roles as feminine global transformational leaders. As we make the intention to live more authentically true to ourselves first as women, then in all the other roles we play, we will find more meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in every area of our lives. In upcoming issues of I Am Enough, we are going to be highlighting women we believe have truly allowed themselves to embody the essence and mindset of “I Am Enough.” They have allowed their past to become their greatest teacher. Their pain has strengthened their resolve to press on, and their successes keep them moving forward in making a difference in their own lives and the lives of others. For this issue, I had the honor of meeting and interviewing Kari Fox Kelly. She shared her story of abuse, disempowerment, rejection, and pain. Despite her experiences, she powerfully and beautifully lives her truth that her past does not define her, she defines herself, and in doing so she is empowering others and changing lives. May reading her story support and empower you in knowing You ARE Enough, not because of anything you have gone through, anything you have done or may be doing now, but purely because of who you ARE ~ You ARE Enough! As I always say,

You ARE Enough…You Always Have Been…You Always Will Be!

Empowering Women To Know They Are Enough

The I Am Enough Institute presents...

I Am Enough

™

The Movement in Words

I AM ENOUGH is dedicated to igniting and transforming the heart, soul, and mind of women from a false, negative belief system of “I am not good enough” to a positive, empowering mindset of “I Am Enough.” Catering to women between the ages of 18 to 65, I AM ENOUGH will provide a platform for women to rediscover and reconnect to their authentic truth and purpose as well as reclaim their spiritual, feminine power and intuition for the intent of bringing back harmony and balance to herself, her relationships, her community and the world. We believe that when a woman is empowered she is more than enough in all her beauty, wisdom, glory, and her power.

Publication Dates January 6, 2015 March 3, 2015 May 5, 2015 July 7, 2015 September 1, 2015 November 3, 2015 Each issue will offer the following:

Letter from the Publisher Letter from the Editor Health and Wellness Mastery Living In Your Feminine Power Mastery Emotional & Mental Mastery Relationship Mastery Entrepreneurial & Wealth Mastery Lifestyle Mastery Upcoming Institute Events and Announcements

The I Am Enough Institute

We are a multi-service based female personal development empowerment educational agency. Our staff includes a multicultural team of dedicated and highly experienced women with varied personal and career backgrounds ready to provide their wealth of knowledge and expertise in empowering, teaching and helping women confidently know that they are enough while living whole and outrageously well. Our passion and ultimate intention is to ignite a spirit and knowing of “I Am Enough” within all women that will empower, inspire, and validate them on their journey to rediscovering their true authentic selves. Through a wealth of exciting services, programs, resources, and venues, women will have access to rich transformational information and passionate successful leaders that will assist them in remembering who they are and how to live fully and purposefully on their own terms. In addition, women who participate in our Institute will learn, grow, network, and connect to other like-minded women around the world creating a global sisterhood and female empowerment movement like never before.

I AM ENOUGH Magazine c/o The I Am Enough Institute P.O. Box 292 Azusa, CA 91702 Website: www.iamenoughmagazine.com Email: draj@iamenoughinstitute.com Phone Number: (641) 715-3900 ext. 639452# To advertise with our magazine, please contact our advertising department at support@iamenoughinstitute.com for our 2015 Media Kit!

Letter from the Executive Editor Angela Mosley It is not a stretch to say that this issue of the I Am Enough Magazine has come to you through much blood, sweat, and tears. This issue was especially difficult to assemble, but I believe once you read through the articles you may understand why. Dr. Anita set our writers to the challenge of what it means when a woman begins to step into her personal manifestation of outrageous success. What does that look like? What might a woman need to do to make that shift? What struggles might she encounter on the way? What could be waiting for her in that sometimes hazy place we refer to as “Success”? Setting SMART goals, deciding to be empowered with money, being authentic, keeping our promises, making choices to view the world (and ourselves) more favorably, nourishing our bodies…all of these are both steps on the way to outrageous success AND characteristics of an outrageously successful woman. Yes, our Featured Experts rose to the challenge set by Dr. Anita. Interestingly, almost all of them were met with their own challenges during the process of bringing their messages forth for this issue. That fact speaks to the power of what you are about to read. I encourage you to reach out to all the Featured Experts in this issue by visiting their webpages, joining their mailing lists, and connecting with them on Facebook and/or Twitter. These thought leaders and transformational coaches are some of the most beautiful people I have the honor of knowing, and I know you will share that feeling as you get to know them better through their daily posts and events.

I Am Enough

â&#x201E;˘

ThE MovEMEnT In Words

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Experts meet the

Living in Your Feminine Power Mastery

Dr. Anita M. Jackson

Ivana Siska

Health & Wellness Mastery

Dr. Elise Cohen Ho

Sharon Otness

Emotional & Mental Mastery

Lisa D

Dr. Karen Jacobson

Entrepreneurial & Wealth Mastery

Rebecca Hall Gruyter

Teri Hockett

Anne Johnson Blaze Lazarony

Relationship Mastery

Becky & Cory Center

Monika Zands

Relationship Mastery

Promises Powerful

by Monika Zands

“Keep every promise you make and only make promises you can keep.”

eep relationships require a certain focus on them. One of the areas of focus that I teach people to pay a lot of attention to is building and fostering trust. Trust can be created in a plethora of ways, and one that I value is making and upholding powerful promises. The question is, “Are you able to be trusted in two directions: the promises you make and the promises you keep?” And for deeper reflection, who are you making and keeping promises for? The natural response to the questions proposed above is that people tend to keep promises based on the perception of how it will affect them and their relationships. So maybe at work one would keep promises more readily than at home because of the risk to their job or status. Regardless of what your reasons may be, it is important that you inquire into your relationship with your promises so that you can deepen your interpersonal relationships and build more trust within yourself.

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~ Anthony Hitt

We go through our daily lives performing tasks which we often consider to be mundane – fixing our morning cup of coffee, taking our children to school, getting through our work days, and partying on the weekends. Throughout all of this, we are constantly making promises to others about what we will and won’t do. However, how much thought and commitment do we actually put into those promises of future action? Are we truly sincere about what we commit to, and do we give the proper amount of consideration to the attention and effort that will be required to fulfill our commitments? Empty promises, which often become broken promises, can be very depleting. They can end up being a source of hurt in others and can instill guilty feelings in the person who breaks the promise. These feelings quite often act as an energy drain in our relationships and can detract from our ability to focus on other activities. By making empty promises, you may even put yourself in a position of creating a broken reputation, which can then

take quite a bit of work to heal. Why set yourself up for this kind of lesson, when it really isn’t necessary in the first place? This topic is especially important as we enter into springtime & summer – the months of the year when our lives tend to pick up momentum, and can often become overfilled with all of the things we need/want to fit into a 24-hour period. Even with all of the technological tools that we have available to us to help manage our time, we still find ourselves floundering through a wealth of “to do’s.” The fact that work seems to encroach more and more on our personal lives only exacerbates the problem. I know that many of us believe that we are VERY busy (at least, we all like to think so, right?). People often have the misconception that “getting LOTS done” is a sign of productivity. But what if the things getting done aren’t actually producing the results we are seeking? What if a lot of what we are doing is something that we frequently refer to as busy work? May 2015

Consider prioritizing the things that you believe are truly necessary to be done. This will enable you to focus on making sure that the tasks which must be accomplished actually get done, and will also help you anticipate potential issues which might interfere with getting something done which you previously promised to someone. By anticipating possible delays in delivery, this in turn allows you to give your recipient a heads up and reason for delay. Doing this can be a win-win for both of you, and will negate the possibility of a broken promise. As you interface with others each day, and as you make powerful promises, give these questions and principles some consideration:

1) Is everything that you THINK you need to do actually necessary? Is it the best use of your valuable & available time? 2) Are the things left on your to-do list really adding value to your life? 3) Have you taken the time to prioritize what needs to be done so that nothing really important slips through the cracks? 4) If something that is truly necessary to do ends up being negatively impacted by something else that comes along, be sure to communicate with the recipient about what is happening and what you intend to do to fix it. 5) Try not to make â&#x20AC;&#x153;empty promisesâ&#x20AC;? that have the potential to ruin your reputation and hurt others! Try to always honor your commitments. Giving some thought to the value of everything that you think you may need to do can actually end up freeing you from things that are really not necessary. This can then result in providing you with more effective prioritization and more time to get things of true value accomplished in your life, consequently leaving you in the driverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seat of making promises you can keep and arriving at the outcomes you desire. Love and fulfilled promises, Monika

Monika Zands

Expert meet the

Monika Zands is an executive business consultant, communications specialist and skilled negotiator serving small businesses, corporate executives, college grads, mompreneurs, and entrepreneurs who are looking for new directions in their career or in their life. Monika uses an array of practical and experiential processes to support her clients in finding focus, balance, and a zest for their life and clarity in the choices they make. She engages her clients in thought-provoking inquiries, inspiring them to look at things in ways they never have before. Website: www.MonikaZands.com Listen Now www.iamenoughmagazine.com

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The POWER of Health & Wellness Mastery

SMART Goals

by Dr. Elise Cohen Ho

s we head into the summer months, I encourage you to consider what you wish to accomplish this summer. Is it more time with family? A vacation? Do you want to build your business or, perhaps, start a new one? Maybe, you wish to become healthier. Regardless of what it is you wish to accomplish, the most important thing is to be completely honest with yourself. Consider what may get in your way and establish a SMART plan, the base of which is SMART goals.

The “No Real Plan” obstacle:

A lack of awareness of where to start is the biggest issue here. Setting S.M.A.R.T. goals is a very positive way to move forward and to move past the idea that you have “no clue” as to where to start. This acronym asks for you to set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time Based.

A specific goal is a goal in which you pinpoint exactly what you wish to achieve. A good idea is to make a goal sheet listing 3-5 SPECIFIC goals that you wish to Instead of using the summer sched- achieve in 3 months, 6 months and ule as an excuse, I encourage you to one year. You can choose to go furlook at what has truly held you back ther than this time frame if it makes from achieving your goals and how sense for the obstacle. you can make sure that this is no longer in your way.

To make this goal measurable you need to be able to clearly track the progress you have made. Do not just say “I want to be healthier” but rather write down the steps that you need to take to get healthier. Do not just say “I want to be successful in business” or “I want to increase my revenue by 50%” but rather write down exactly how you propose to do that. An attainable and realistic goal will be one that is possible. A bit of a dose of reality is very important, but it is equally important to reach a bit beyond your comfort zone. The achieving of this goal is not necessarily going to be easy, but it will be worth it.

Expert meet the

Elise Cohen Ho, PhD

Author with expertise in holistic health (mental, physical and emotional) and support of the family unit, as well as support of the individual. Her goal is to offer a no judgment zone, full of inspiration, while providing encouragement and healthy living, information on topics such as personal, family and business priorities, nutrition, and living the life that truly resonates with you. Website: www.elisecohenho.com IAE { 14

May 2015

Do your due diligence in regards to research and then have confidence in your work. Keep in mind that it is okay to make mistakes as these can be wonderful learning experiences and they may even be an opportunity in disguise.

The “No Money or Resources” obstacle:

This obstacle can be solved in various ways. I encourage you to first logically assess what goals you can achieve with little to no investment, and therefore with no investors. A time based goal will be logical within a reasonable time frame. A time frame must be tied to the goal. Nothing gets accomplished when we “get around to it.” The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is found by setting a reasonable deadline.

The “No Time” obstacle:

Is it really that you have no time or is it the more likely option of the fact that you have not found the time for this pursuit? I have no doubt that we are all very busy people. The stay at home parent, the work from home parent, the work outside of the house parent, and almost every other person has a busy life filled with the pursuit of their goals and, let’s face it, a whole bunch of busy work and maybe a few time wasters, as well. It is the busy work and the time wasters that must be explored. Start each day with a clearly defined list of “Five Focus Items.” This list should include the most important tasks and a clearly defined plan

www.iamenoughmagazine.com

on how to accomplish them. The plan should not include more than 10 items “To Accomplish.” In my practice, I have found that any list larger than ten is overwhelming and often leads to an ignored list.

The “No Energy” obstacle:

If you truly have no energy then I encourage you to assess your sleep patterns (duration and quality), your health, and your water intake. Your water intake should be approximately half of your body weight in ounces (A 150 pound person should be drinking a minimum of 75 ounces of good, clean water per day. This should be increased based on heat, exercise, and various other factors). A dehydrated body is a tired body. Also consider visiting a nutrition specialist for a review of your nutritional requirements, your food intake, and your food choices.

The “No Confidence” obstacle: Always questioning your well thought out plans will not help you to progress towards your goals.

Whether we are speaking about nutrition, exercise, business, or some other goal there are always certain things that can be achieved without much money. Find these things and do them. If you are working on a business plan and do find yourself at a point where you need a larger amount of capital to move forward then you can look towards Tips for Finding and Securing Private Investors for Your Start-Up, but I do express caution. I encourage you to really think about your goals and whether, or not, you really want an investor. An investor may bring money to the proverbial table but they also bring opinions, politics, and shared ownership. I wish you much luck achieving all of your smart goals and even those that you have yet to discover. Please visit me at www.elisecohenho.com to get more tips for all of your goals - business, healthy living, relationships, and more.

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Words and Perceptions: Entrepreneurial & Wealth Mastery

Crafting and Protecting Your Brand by Teri Hockett

Words.

Words are power! Words can impart a full range of emotions, actions, and reactions.

ords can—and will— make or break your personal and professional brand. The right combination of words that conveys your unique message in the marketplace can gain you employment, or new customers or clients. A properly scripted message will increase your influence, which equates to new opportunities. But, what about the words that you do not say or write? “Stick and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Do you remember hearing that quote growing up? It is a famous quote dating back to 1894, listed in Folk Phrases of Four Counties, by G.F. Northall. It seems to be repeated with every generation to let people know not to be bothered by what others may say about you or the names they may call you. Let’s think about this for a minute, though. Have you ever been hurt by words? Sticks and stones can cause physical pain, bruising, and IAE { 16

broken bones, but all that heals. It is the intent and the feelings behind the action that cause the long term damage. All too often, it is the words that go along with the action that cause the most damage. Close your eyes and think about the first time you were hurt by someone’s words to you or about you. Who said the words? Where were you? Who else was there? How did you feel then? How do you feel now?

awareness. Explore how it would feel to release the pain and shame of the words and return those negative energies back to the person who uttered the words in the first place. Remember that words spoken to harm others are more of a reflection of the person speaking and less of a reflection of you.

The Words of Others & Your Business We all learn at a very early age Release the Internal Damage about the power of words. We are Yes, words can hurt. To heal from also taught to not say anything if we the long-term damage caused by the do not have anything nice to say. words of another person, you will The problem lies in the fact that need to do some exploration. Try to what we observe in people’s behavsee the reason(s) behind what was iors does not always match what we said. Perhaps the comment was are told. To complicate the issue made to you or about you, but the further, we have demonstrations reason it was said is because some- daily of people speaking unkindly one else was having a bad day or to and about one another. An entire had just been attacked themselves genre of reality television shows so they lashed out in your direction. portrays people continually using Look at the intent of the message words against one another in person versus the impact. Some people and behind one another’s backs. In don’t understand the impact their the online communities where we words can have. Their intention spend so much of our time, cybermay not be to hurt you; they simbullying has become a very real ply speak (or write) with a lack of problem. May 2015

Is cyberbullying any worse than a person spreading rumors, gossiping, creating lies, or making threats about or to you behind your back? In many ways, cyberbullying has all those components, plus an extra dimension that makes it so much worse than “old fashioned” bullying. Cyberbullying is not just the implication of the words alone—it is the very nature of how quickly it can spread and how difficult it is to stop it because of the very nature of the anonymity of the Internet. Your reputation is an integral part of your personal brand, and it is important for all working women to know how to protect it.

The Power of Perception Perception is a key component to career success. You may use all the best intentional and powerful words to convey your message, but what others think about you is a critical factor in your overall success. You must know that you are so much It is essential that once something negative or defamatory is said about more than what is on your resume. At the same time, you must also you online (whether it contains an accusation or a threat) that you seek know how your personal brand demonstrates your unique value guidance from a reliable source AND how others perceive you, before proceeding or replying. what they are saying about you.

Expert meet the

Teri Hockett Teri Hockett, Transitional Career Strategist, CEO What’s For Work, and national speaker. As a Lead Recruiter and Outplacement Specialist for years, Teri thought it would be easy to opt back into the workforce. She quickly discovered that mom’s were devalued because of the gap in employment and for not having a viable personal brand. As entrepreneurship runs deep in Teri’s veins, she created What’s For Work. Teri works with her clients to identify and market their unique value with confidence, by developing a strategic personal branding and career management system. Website: www.whatsforwork.com www.iamenoughmagazine.com

Listen Now

I encourage you to consider this when you are creating and maintaining your personal and professional brand. Your social media profile, pictures, and even private messages are potential fodder for national news. When others view your social media presence, is it a true representation of you, your beliefs, and your dreams? Would you feel embarrassed or feel the need to defend or explain yourself to a peer, colleague, customer, client, or current/potential employer? Words, yours and the words of others, say a lot about you, so schedule quarterly reviews of your personal and professional brand. In today’s society, there is no amount of “privacy” that can protect you from people who really want to harm you or your brand. However, you do have the power to influence and shift the message with a few simple techniques. • Craft both your personal and professional brand to promote you, your dreams, and your passions through the use of blogs, posts, and video • Monitor your brand, both personal and professional, by setting up Google Alerts on yourself and your company name • Delete people from your social media community who don’t play nice. Simple things, such as writing something derogatory than adding a smiley face as if to lessen the sting, can be hurtful to you and harmful to your brand. Those are not the kind of people you need in your community. • When all else fails, consider the source of the unkind words. By attacking someone else, the speaker has done more damage to their own personal and professional brand. Keep your own message consistent and true, and you will rise above the hurtful words.

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Emotional & Mental Mastery

Putting the R.A.P. in Rapport Mastering the Art

of High Power Communication

by Dr. Karen Jacobson

mage hearing any foreign language and immediately being able to communicate and speak in that language. How cool would that be? I’ve always had a secret fantasy of being able to do that. One of my favorite characters in the Star Trek shows was Lieutenant Commander Hoshi Sato, the human linguist who could instantly connect with anyone. I wanted to be just like her. Granted, speaking Klingon or Vulcan isn’t essential in the business world, or for that matter on planet Earth. Yet the gift of being able to communicate effectively with anyone, at any time, in any given situation is valuable. Whether you have a product or a

service, you are in sales. One of the biggest mistakes that people make in offering their products and services is working hard to sell something when there is no need or no perceived value. When it comes to sales, proper communication is essential and can make all the difference between closing the deal or walking away empty handed.

Whether in a one-on-one situation, on a stage or in writing, high power communication is an essential key to High Performance Living. It is a topic that I review with my clients both in sales and in relationships. Raising the level of your communication will deepen your connection with people and enhance your relationships.

What if you can look at your exchange process in a completely different fashion? What if you were connecting to people and offering them solutions to their pain, suffering, and problems?

Aside from choosing the proper target market, it is essential to make a connection with them. People want to feel valued and appreciated. Who do you do business with? People you like and care about. If you want people to do business with you, it Delivering your message is more would probably help if they felt that than just what you say. It is how you cared about them, wouldn’t it? you say what you say, when you say Show them you care, get to know it, and why you say it. them a bit, and build rapport.

Dr. Karen Jacobson

Expert meet the

Dr. Karen Jacobson, affectionately known as “Dr. Listen Now J”, has been serving the community since 1992, sharing a message of Health and High Performance Living through a variety of media from print to radio and television. Dr. J is a co-author of several books including two international Bestsellers

As a High Performance Strategist she works with entrepreneurs, executives and leaders who are at the top of their game. She helps you stay successful while regaining balance in your relationships, your health and your life; so you can tap into that limitless power within, unlock your ultimate potential and live an extraordinary life! For booking and programs email drj@drkarenjacobson.com or call 480.447.MIND

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May 2015

Let’s look at the strategy of Putting the R.A.P. in Rapport. R- Relate to Your Audience

Body language has been considered to make up 55% of communication; your voice makes up 38% and words 7%. Your physiology and body language can help you make a connection. Keep your body open and your posture nonthreatening, give the other person proper personal space. Help them feel at ease through the process of mirroring and matching. Remember like attracts like and connects to like. Pay attention to your voice. Are your tone, volume, and pitch similar to your customer or audience? How about your energy? Are you excited about making a new connection and the possibility of helping someone without overpowering them? Are you speaking their language? Are you using terms that they can understand? One of the biggest mistakes is getting too technical by using professional jargon with someone who really doesn’t care.

A- Active listening

What is behind the words? Are you truly listening to your audience? What are they asking for? Are they hesitant, do they have reservations? Remember, people will buy what they value and what they want, not necessarily what they need. They look for a solution to the problem, a relief for their pain or suffering. Are you hearing them and speaking their language? Our five senses provide us with opportunities to experience different modes of communication. While we all possess all modes of learning and communication, there is usually one that is more dominant for each of us. People will fall into the categories of visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. In other words, some of us are more comfortable with seeing things, some need to hear things, and some need to feel things. Our primary mode of communication is the language in which we process information and connect to others. Understanding your customers’ primary mode of communication will help you better relate to them. You can figure out their communication mode by listening to their language and the words they use to describe things or by watching their eye movement patterns. Once you have successfully related to your customer or your audience, and actively listened to their problem, you can move to the third and final step by offering and presenting your solution.

P- Present your solution

It’s time to fill the need. When you present the solution, you are making a simple offer. The need and the value have already been established by understanding the problem. It’s an easy process, just like giving a fresh towel to someone who’s soaking wet. All they need is to dry off. You wouldn’t want to sell them Cologne, would you? Speak their language, use their words. Make them feel comfortable. Be authentic and let them truly know that you are here for them. People want solutions. They want to know what is in it for them. They want to know that things will work and the problems will be resolved. Push a sale on them, and they will walk the other way. By using high power communication, you can connect with them, listen to them, identify their problem, and offer them a solution that will change their life. Effective communication in any situation is a combination of different actions. It is always a matter of having a good R.A.P. Listening alone won’t build a good dialogue. However, when you listen and truly hear the other person, you have the ability to build better rapport with them. To be frank, we all have the need to know we have a voice and are being heard. Practice all three aspects of communication and challenge yourself to master them. When you do that, you will build trust and a great following, and you will create loyal customers who will come back for more!

www.iamenoughmagazine.com

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Entrepreneurial & Wealth Mastery

Shifting Your

Money Position by Rebecca Hall Gruyter

ave you ever found yourself saying: “I should be further along than I am now.” Or “I can’t understand money.” Or “I should understand money by now.” Or “I’m ashamed or embarrassed of where I’m at, and I can’t figure it out or make it different.” In our society we don’t provide a lot of education about money, so it is actually quite common that people feel stuck and disempowered when it comes to money. Money and finances are not something we openly discuss. Therefore, it’s a subject I find people are frequently frustrated by because they don’t know how to interact with money in a healthy and supportive way. You may just need a little support to gain a better understanding of money and how it can work for you. It takes a brave person to be willing to look into a subject that frustrates, discourages, or confuses them. The harsh judgment and criticism of yourself is actually disempowering you and further holding you back. We can’t go back, but we can move forward IAE { 20

and get unstuck. The truth, is you can move forward and shift your relationship with money so that you are empowered and in a position of leadership with your money. People are often critical of themselves around money. There is this shame around money, and it’s easy to believe “I should be in a different place than I am now financially.” We believe “I should know better. I can’t get help because I am afraid they are going to judge me.” This is just not true. In our society, we don’t really talk about how to interact with money. It’s not polite conversation. Yet, we really need help in this area. So if someone is willing to

lean in and get support, I always assure them. I really do believe that it takes a brave and courageous person to find out about something you don’t understand, that you’re intimidated by, and embarrassed by at times. I have a lot of respect for people who are willing to do that. I like to encourage you to be kind to yourself, celebrate that you are recognizing that you want your relationship with money and

your financial position to be different… a more positive May 2015

interaction. You have the opportunity to seek help and make the change. You have the opportunity to lean in and learn where you are now and where you want to go and how you want to be with money and then, with support, shift forward into that new relationship with money. You can get support to learn how to practically interact with money in a different way, to demystify money and have it work for you and with you. You can become equipped and empowered to play a different game with money, starting now. Another important thing to recognize and remember as you start learning how to have a different relationship with money and how to build more financial success, is that as people make more money, they can have the tendency to expand and spend more—without the increased spending really helping them move forward on their goals. So, it’s important to have a connection to and awareness of your money so that your spending is in alignment with what is truly important to you on a short term and long term basis. Having a solid plan and a healthy relationship with money allows you to create both a better now and a better future. We can’t go back in time and undo things, but we can move forward to be and become different in our relationship, interaction, and dance with money. Who you are, the unique and amazing gifts you have, and what you are called to do are too important to not have money working in a positive, supportive, and empowering way in your life. So, know that money can serve you, your mission, your life, and your goals both on a short term and long term basis. You may just need some support from an expert to equip and empower you to have money work in your life in this way—but know it is possible.

R Success Tip:

Decide if you are willing to be different in your relationship with money. It starts with a decision--with you deciding that Yes! you want to be in a more empowered position with money; that you want to be equipped to stand in a leadership position with your money. Then, lean in and get support and help to become empowered and equipped to shift your money position. www.iamenoughmagazine.com

Expert meet the

Rebecca Hall Gruyter Rebecca Hall Gruyter, founder/Owner of Your Purpose Driven Practice, Creator of the Women’s Empowerment Series, Best Selling Author, and International VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Show Host. She has a Bachelor of Science in Business, Strategic Management Concentration, and a strong background in corporate and entrepreneurial circles as an in-demand Consultant, Motivational Speaker, Community Leader, and Coach. Rebecca is committed to helping people impact the world powerfully, helping them line up their business and life with their core values and unique gifts. Rebecca is a frequent guest expert on success panels, live stages, radio, summits, and television. She is Creator of the Speaker Talent Search, Rebecca’s Money Summits™, Step Into Leadership™, Offers That Serve™, and Your Success Formula™. She has received the Circle of Champions, Circle of Excellence, Notable Networker, and Client Coach of the Year awards for her transformational work. Rebecca wants to help you be seen, heard, and shine! Website: www.yourpurposedrivenpractice.com

Listen Now IAE { 21

Entrepreneurial & Wealth Mastery

Honor Your

Authentic Self

Own the Power to Unleash Sales Success

by Anne Johnson

t happened again. I’m not sure why it still surprises me. I mean, I’ve only seen it happen a million times. That involuntary knee jerk reaction that so many people have, when they hear the word “sales”!!! At a networking meeting I attended recently, a lively business woman with a confident handshake, introduced herself to me and asked, “So Anne, what do you do?” As I started to answer the question, the shift in demeanor was noticeable, further reinforcing my personal mission to change the way the world thinks about sales. Her reaction was all too familiar when I said, “I show people who are struggling with the sales process and need to achieve higher profits, how to eliminate their own personal fear and resistance toward selling and maximize their sales results without feeling pushy or aggressive.” Without hesitation, this outwardly confident woman emphatically stated “I’m not a sales person!” I felt compassion as I watched fear and resistance toward selling register on her face. This encounter might sound extreme or somewhat unusual to you. Sadly, it’s not. I consistently meet women from all walks of life, who say, “I IAE { 22

don’t sell” or “I am not a sales person” or “I just want to help people” as soon as the topic of sales comes up. I have said it before, and I will keep on saying it:

“If you own a business or represent a product, a service, a charity or a cause, And…You have the desire to help people… then You Are in Sales!!!” Many of the women (and men) I meet in various stages of creating a business or stepping into the power of their own journey have one thing in common—some level of fear and resistance toward selling that is holding them back, keeping them from accomplishing their goals, fulfilling their dreams, and reaching their full potential. The only difference is the degree of emotional stress they suffer, the impact it has on their success, and how their bodies illustrate their underlying attitudes about the sales process. I know full well the frustration of trying to succeed while feeling paralyzed by the fear of mastering sales! I remember thinking, “I don’t want to learn how to manipulate or force people into buying.” Before I understood the art of sales, I struggled with the idea of practic-

ing what to say and following a step by step sales process. It didn’t feel genuine. It knew I wasn’t lying, but I just wanted to be who I am.

Honor your Authentic Self and Unleash your Sales Success Here are three of my biggest “Aha” moments when it comes to unleashing sales success. Understanding these three aspects of sales will go a long way in allowing you to Eliminate Resistance toward sales.

Definition of Sales: Once I began

to look at sales from a new perspective, differentiating between the purpose behind selling and the process of making a sale, all my misconceptions about and thoughts of manipulation fell away. I realized sales is not about getting someone to commit--it’s about guiding the prospect or client through the decision making process, helping them honor their commitment to themselves. In essence, sales is educating people so they can make an informed decision. Sales is empowering others to make good choices. Sales is a discovery process and the conversation is designed to clarify whether or not what you have is a good fit for the prospect or client and if they are ready to take action. May 2015

The following questions provide the desired clarification. 1) What are you looking for? 2) What do you want to accomplish? 3) How important is it? The first two questions determine if your product or service will address their needs and the last question establishes the level of priority when it comes to how motivated someone is to buy. The more important it is, the more likely the buying decision will be a Yes!

sales went down as I understood that the sales process is a structure that supports the discovery and clarification previously mentioned. Those three questions should be asked before any presentation about what you offer takes place. It saves time and energy if you know the person you are speaking with has a need for what you are selling. I have seen a lot of time wasted when we jump ahead and don’t make sure the prospect and product are a good fit by asking the first two questions. The third question is one that I also ask before jumping into presentation mode because it doesn’t matter what you say or how you present it if this purchase is not a high priority. Asking question number three, early on, is a POWERFUL Strategy!

Being Authentic is a Requirement: Understanding both

A Sales Process eliminates confusion: When people are pas-

sionate about their product or charity or cause, they tend to talk a lot about it in an unorganized manner that can easily overwhelm and even confuse the other person. My anxiety about

Anne Johnson

the purpose of sales (to provide a guided discovery process) and the functional sales process (a formula that should be followed closely) now frees you up to honor your authentic self which is the biggest requirement in sales success. It’s simple to memorize a few questions and even simpler to BE Authentic. My early success and eventual mastery

of sales, my love of the using the process to help thousands of people make good choices and now teach others to do the same, was born from my instinct to honor my authentic self. I never had an agenda other than finding out if what I had was what the customer needed and wanted. There is of course more to the story when it comes to closing, standing with the customer to make a decision that they need to make by not letting them say, “I don’t know or I will think about it” if waiting is not in their best interest. I was able to accomplish this mastery of sales because I was authentic, and it was clear I had no agenda other than serving the client. If you try to be someone you are not, it shows. If you try to hide an agenda, clients will feel it. People would rather buy from someone who has no experience but is authentic. Rest assured, you have what it takes to succeed in sales….because You are You… the rest will follow!

Expert

Master Sales Consultant and Trainer Anne is the Bold and Classy Selling Expert, who shows people how to effectively sell without feeling pushy or aggressive. With 20 + years of experience working with Entrepreneurs, Not-for-Profit Organizations, Business Owners, and Fortune 500 companies including MetLife, AIG, and Citi Group; Anne teaches everyone from beginners to sales superstars, exactly how to harness their fear and overcome their resistance toward selling… so they can quickly accelerate their results and truly thrive in these changing business times. Webiste: www.boldandclassyselling.com Listen Now www.iamenoughmagazine.com

meet the

IAE { 23

Entrepreneurial & Wealth Mastery

Burning Through the

by Blaze Lazarony

he sight of a flickering golden flame and the intoxicating scent of melting wax fill my nostrils. Three deep inhale breaths, a silent intention, and we begin our session. I can energetically feel that Michelle seems anxious, maybe even a little agitated today as we begin our work together. Then she blurts out, “I’m so frustrated with Linda, and all of this personal stuff is flowing over into our business together—I’m tired and cranky, I just need a break!” “It sounds like you know exactly what you need,” I responded. And I follow up with, “How can you best give yourself a break right now?” I hear dead air on the other end of the phone line. A minute passes, followed by three more minutes. I perceive her slower paced breathing and perhaps even a more open heart. Her soft voice pierces the still silence, “Thank you, I needed that right now.” As a Transformational Business Strategist, I start all of my client sessions by lighting a candle. It’s a centering ritual that I’ve created both for myself and for the people that I serve. IAE { 24

Michelle knew what she needed; she just wasn’t allowing herself the opportunity to sink in and honor her desire for peace, comfort, and an inner sense of calm. She was instead caught up in the tangle of her mindset around her relationship with Linda. In my 7 Level Entrepreneur Business Life Cycle System, Michelle is currently in the middle to later third of Level 2. This Level is called, ‘Kick Starting Your Business.’ It is also the point where kick starting your biz can be energetically kicking you in the butt, and creating feelings of frustration, anxiety, and even anger.

Michelle decided energetically to lean into the fire of truth, and to burn through her illusions of what she thought her relationship with Linda needed to look like. Together we used these three illuminating ways, as shared with me by Dr. Bill Little at the Center for Spiritual Awakening, to burn through her darkness and bring her into the light.

Therefore, Michelle’s frustration was right on track for her level in business. As we talked more, I reminded Michelle that our work together wasn’t about focusing on how to change Linda, rather it was about supporting Michelle in her life and business so she could be more resilient, make better decisions, and stand in her unique value. I shared with Michelle that fire is the symbol of inspiration. It warms and illuminates the dark places within us, burning through the illusion of thoughts, feelings, and concepts that we once believed defined us. Fire has the power to transform each of us into something brighter and bolder if we allow it to happen. May 2015

When you energetically call people or situations to you, you are actually seeking people to help you stretch, learn, and grow in your life and business. However, I am not encouraging you to seek out people or situations that are physically, emotionally, or verbally harmful or abusive. Boundaries and limits are valuable and important in both your life and business. It is the challenges in life that actually stretch you and encourage you to discover your unique beliefs, values, and essence. For conscious women entrepreneurs who are committed to personal growth and transformation, this is exactly the type of attraction that helps you burn through the daily chatter of life and find clarity for your lives and businesses. And your business needs clarity in order for you to move to the next level.

We all need the loving support of someone who gets us and has got us. Attracting someone who won’t cut and run at the first sign of difficulty in your business or personal relationship is important. It’s imperative to slow down and create a safe space where each of you can voice your disappointments and concerns in an open way. Of course tempers may flare from time to time, yet it’s essential that both of you find ways to cool off your emotions and discover ways to listen to one another. I personally recommend the use of Harville Hendrix’s Intentional Dialoging Technique or other relationship mirroring practices to build healthy relationships with empathy, compassion, and understanding at their center. There is a difference between listening and hearing. So many times, re-

lationships break down because of a lack of communication. In attracting someone who can hold your energy, you are also signing up to hold his or her energy too. This is a delicate balancing act. When you each chose to let go of holding tight to your ego, defensiveness, and even blame, and commit instead to being empathic and supportive, everyone changes--you, them, and even the world around you!

Energetically calling someone into your life and business that will continue to love you, no matter what the situation, is extremely significant. It’s also important that this love is built on a foundation of similar values and goals, as well as a mutual respect for one another.

Doesn’t this sound like a business match? Do you have a burning business question that you’d like to have answered in a future edition of this magazine? Please reach out to me, I’m here to support you.

Expert meet the

Finding the love in everything can certainly be a challenge, but it is a wonderful reward. I firmly believe that love is an essential component in both personal and business relationships. Throughout my career in corporate America and today as an entrepreneur, I’ve found that when I can love others, by really seeing their inner brilliant light, both of us can open up to new possibilities. As Michelle and I wrapped up our session, she shared with me that these three ways of attracting someone really helped her burn through the illusion of what people had shared with her about how business and personal relationships should look and feel. She already knew that life wasn’t full of rainbows and butterflies, but until now, didn’t know a way to see her business relationships differently. Michelle also offered that she was extremely grateful for having Linda in her life, because the two of them could work on developing a deeper relationship built on trust that allowed each of them to challenge one another, embrace the other’s energies, and find the love together.

Blaze Lazarony Blaze Lazarony is a Transformational Business Strategist, Founder of Blaze A Brilliant Path, Best-Selling Author & Speaker. For 20 years, Blaze held high-level positions in Fortune 500 companies, including Macy’s, Inc. Today her passion is leading the charge for conscious women entrepreneurs at the two-plus-year mark, to stand in their value by helping them design custom-fit businesses and live soul-based lives that light them up! Website: www.blazeabrilliantpath.com Listen Now

Living in Your Feminine Power Mastery

Featured

“I Am Enough” Woman Kari Fox Kelly

by Dr. Anita M. Jackson, Publisher

he I Am Enough Magazine was created for the purpose of empowering women worldwide to know they ARE enough not because of what they do or have done in the many roles they play as women, but because of who they are in their spirit and being-ness. Often as women, our overall sense of self is fragile because so much of our identity has been dictated by how others see and respond to us as well as from what they expect of and from us. In many ways, we as women are not our own and, if a woman has any past history of abuse, her entire sense of self, love, worth and esteem becomes that much more damaged.

This type of woman is beautiful to witness and connect to, and I’m fortunate enough to say I recently had the opportunity to meet such a woman in Kari Fox Kelly.

Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to be a panel judge for a Speaker Talent Search event in San Francisco. Kari was one of the finalists to be interviewed for opportunities to speak at various events in Northern and Southern California for 2015. The moment Kari walked into the room, I was captured by her grace, smile, Yet, when such a woman finds the personality, strength and courage to heal and and presence. move pass her pain and past, she As she began becomes a lighthouse of hope, a to share her role model for endurance, a voice story, I immethat cries out to others saying, diately knew “There is a way out of the darkI had to interness. If I can do it, so can you.” view her for IAE { 26

our next issue of I Am Enough. As a Marriage and Family Therapist for 25 years, I have had my share of working with some extremely difficult

May 2015

cases. Out of all the cases I have worked on, those with a history of childhood/adulthood sexual abuse and trauma were by far my most challenging ones to handle. Partly, this is because of my own experiences of sexual abuse, but it’s also because personally, I believe that sexual abuse is the most destructive type of abuse to one’s spirit, soul, body and future, if not addressed. Because of the secrecy typically attached to abuse, especially sexual abuse, victims often suffer silently for years with the experience and memory of the abuse slowing suffocating their very existence. For a woman who has gone through any experience of sexual abuse, her overall sense of self, her sense of worth and value, and her connection to her own sensuality and sexuality are all compromised, weakened, and forever transformed. Typically, those who have experienced any form of sexual abuse struggle with a long-standing battle with self-

denial, abandonment, rejection, guilt, shame, and blame due to the underlying emotion of fear that their story can never be told, and that no one would believe them or understand the internal battle and pain they experience every day… until someone steps in and tells them, “It’s not your fault. It was NEVER your fault and you will win because you are enough!” Once a person comes to the realization of this truth, which often takes years, they can become powerful messengers of hope and healing, ultimately making them a beautiful sight to see. I experienced this when I had the honor of meeting and interviewing Kari Fox Kelly.

San Francisco Bay area. She has shared the stage with Tim Kelley, Kelly Swanson, and Queen Ann Cannon. She was a top finalist for Voices of Leadership Speakers Competition, sponsored by Sahar Kordahi, founder of The Bright Side of Life. Kari is also featured in the May 2014 issue of Landmark Insights which highlighted the creation, production, and performance of her one woman show “Somebody Else’s Child.” Most recently she was the first presenter at the Women’s Empowerment Conference sponsored by the Vallejo Alumnae Chapter of the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc.

It is my hope that as you get to know a little bit about Kari, you Kari Fox Kelly, author of Black, will be impressed and moved by Blind and Female, has been livher, her story, and her courage and ing her passion quite extensively resiliency to make a difference in during the past year. Kari is a fea- the world by offering help, suptured speaker, author, and vocalist port, and resources to eradicating and has been on numerous stages, the deadly silence of abuse from panels, radio and TV shows in the this world.

Here’s Kari’s story

Dr. J: Kari, tell our audience a little bit about yourself and your mission in life.

KFK: I’m 45 years old and am legally blind because of being shaken and beaten at 14 months. It was

during the shaking that I hit my head, which caused fluid to build up on my brain. By not having medical attention for a week and a half, it affected my sight. Now my running joke is, I have enough sight to get into trouble but not enough to get a driver’s license (said with an amazing smile and a great robust laugh). Later, when the person who abused me admitted to the shaking, I was removed from their home, placed in the system, and then later adopted by another family. It was at this family that I experienced even more abuse because the family believed that “…this child is “flawed” and no one will care anyway.” While there, I was abused on literally every level. However, today I consider myself a resilient individual because I know I can get through anything. I can be the voice for people who are not able to express themselves, share what they have been through, or ask for what they want or need. My mission is to identify resources and build safe communities for anyone experiencing any type of abuse. www.iamenoughmagazine.com

IAE { 27

Kari’s story continued...

Dr. J: In a previous conversation, you spoke so strongly about healing shame connected to abuse. Why is your message to heal shame so important to you?

KFK: Shame has its own personality. If it were a person, it would want to live in dark, secret places where

it can’t be seen. Its message is one of disempowerment and fear. So, I believe that in order to live a life of freedom, shame has to be eliminated. In the words of Brene Brown who talks powerfully about shame, “Shame hates having words wrapped around it.” In order for shame to be eliminated, it must come into the light. If kept in the dark, shame then has your attention and cooperation, and it continues the cycle of abuse. Shame keeps people from living their passion. Shame keeps people staying a victim. The moment shame has no more power, the abuse stops in every sense of the word. I strongly believe that once the “victim” has their voice back, when they begin to speak their own truth and not the truth of the abuse or abuser, that’s when the abuse ends and life begins. Once you can live the life of freedom without shame, you are capable of doing anything and everything. The contribution that you can deliver to life, once you are free, will become a legacy that will last for generations.

Dr. J: What has been the most powerful lesson you have learned from your experiences? KFK: The biggest thing that I have learned from my experiences has been standing in my truth no matter

what. Because of the ugliness of my abuse and experiences and how it reflects on the different levels of the community, the family, the neighborhood, the school, the churches, the social services, all of the places that touched my life but missed the abuse that I was going through, they all have a so-called “image” and as long as I keep quiet, don’t share my story, they keep their untainted image. But, if I tell my truth, then the dynamics, their image changes everything involved. The second thing that I have learned from my experiences is forgiveness. Forgiveness for me was achieved by my understanding that whatever has happened to me in the past is just that, the past. I can now live my life today without the charge of emotions attached to the past so I can enjoy my life now.

Dr. J: Because of all the changes you have gone through, knowing “I Am Enough” can be difficult. How do you define “I Am Enough”?

KFK: “I Am Enough” to me is a walking mantra because despite my limitations, despite the way I show

up in the world, despite the limitations that could have been my journey because of the abuse, I AM Enough just as I am with less than 20/20 eyesight—not vision. I AM still able to do everything I need to do, see everything I need to see, see everything I want to see, and see everything I have to see.

Dr. J: What advice would you give to any woman or person who has gone through any type of abuse to empower them to keep moving forward?

KFK: SPEAK THE TRUTH that is your truth every day, every minute, every second and do not let the

voice of shame or any other voice take you away from what is true for you. Don’t let anything shut you up or shut you down. Be very clear about what is true for you. Have the ability to respond to your truth in a very responsible way, no matter what that is for you. IAE { 28

May 2015

Dr. J: What does truth mean to you? KFK: Truth is what it always is. It doesn’t change with the weather, the government, the holidays, etc. It is like gravity. It is! So, your truth is what is always truth for you, and it never changes.

Dr. J: If there was one thing you would like to share with us that others may not know about you, what would that be? Example, aren’t you a standup comic?

KFK: (With a great laugh Kari says…) HA! That’s funny…NO! I perform a dramatic one woman show

and don’t get me wrong I can be funny, I have a great sense of humor, but I’m not a standup comic. Oh oh oh! I know what you can tell them. Tell your audience even though I am legally blind I plan to get a driver’s license.

Dr. J: (With more laughter I ask…) Are you serious? KFK: Yes and No.

…Then Kari goes on to explain to me how she plans to get a license and it’s a GREAT plan. You’ll have to attend her show in the Bay area to find out how she gets her license this year!

Featured

“I Am Enough” Woman

Kari Fox Kelly

To find out more about Kari, her service, programs and/or to get a copy of her book, Black, Blind and Female, or to have Kari as a keynote speaker at your event, have her as an inspirational vocalist or have her perform her spoken word presentations, you can contact her via email at karik2@icloud.com or by phone at (408)373-7263. All information here given by Kari Kelly with permission. Be sure to tell her you find out about her through I Am Enough Magazine at www.iamenoughmagazine.com. www.iamenoughmagazine.com

IAE { 29

Emotional & Mental Mastery

“

t e r c e S

A Well-Guarded

by Lisa D

ut Blaze,” I said, “I can’t call myself a healer!”

I was in the middle of a coaching session with Blaze Lazarony, of Blaze a Brilliant Path, and we were choosing my job title. Blaze gently asked, “Why ever not?” “Because I don’t have a certificate!” There is a common, well-guarded secret hidden deep in the mind of many high achieving women. Despite accomplishments, education, accolades and other external evidence of success, many women privately and truly believe that they don’t deserve to have a certain job title, hold a certain position, or be recognized as an expert in their field. In fact, the feeling is so widespread that it has its own title: Impostor Syndrome. Impostor Syndrome is defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. (Harvard Business Review). A woman with this belief has the sense that she is not as capable as others think, and that it is only a matter of time before she is found out and exposed.

intuition before I could really believe that my dream of founding a powerful collective of women was possible. I still feel like a work in progress, but I’m progressing in the right direction.” If you have impostor syndrome, you might not believe you have enough knowledge or the right credentials for a particular role. You often look externally for validation of your skills, yet when faced with the validation, you never quite believe it. Impostor syndrome shows up in different beliefs you might hold. Belief #1: “I must not ever fail.” You really want to try something new: start a new business, create a new business offer, or begin a new hobby, but fear of failure stops you from trying. You fear what failure will say about you and your skills.

Belief #2: “It was nothing.” Success is downplayed or attributed to others. You feel like you had such a minor role, and what everyone else did was more important than what you did. You believe your contribution was mostly luck or the result of someone else’s input. Belief #3: “I feel like a fake.” You believe you do not have the knowledge or the expertise, and that someone will find you out. You fear that you are not as competent as everyone else believes you to be. What is the REAL harm of having impostor syndrome? No matter how hard you work or how desperately you want to prove yourself, you always believe that you are not enough.

The good news is that impostor syndrome is not permanent. You can transform it into a new belief: I Am Enough.

Michele Jennae, founder of Sweet Nexus, a growing online community of women entrepreneurs, summed up this feeling so perfectly: “I don’t have a college degree, and I often felt like an impostor even though nothing required me to have one to do what I do. I had to transform my self-image and learn to trust my IAE { 30

May 2015

How to begin believing that You Are Enough: Recognize when “the impostor” shows up. Become aware of the thoughts and feelings that emerge. Simply becoming aware begins the process of change.

When the impostor begins telling you that you are not enough, stop and ask yourself, Is this really true? And if it’s not true, then what is true? Allow the impostor to help you uncover the wisdom of who you really are. Take the time to notice the facts around your success. When someone comments about a skill or a contribution you made, say, “Thank you.” Then let the comment sink in with this recognition, “I made a difference.” Practice owning your awesome. This means opening up to the possibility that maybe you are more powerful than you previously believed. When you have begun the transition of believing you are enough, the impostor begins to fade, and you are left standing in the truth of who you are. And when you are standing in your truth, wonderful things begin to happen: “I was forty-five years old when I finally had the courage to stand in front of a small group and read a passage I’d just written during our meditation exercise. Afterward, a woman approached me and asked: “How long have you been a writer?” I stood there dumb-founded and replied: “I don’t write.” Soon after, I was enrolled in graduate school where writing was an essential element. During my second semester, a teaching assistant (TA) chastised the entire class for being poor writers. I had a memory of being in second grade and seeing red marks all over my assignment. The message I heard both times was “You can’t write.” This time, I was livid. I’d finally uncovered my long-buried desire to write and the TA was attempting to push it back down. The messages of “not good enough” were getting old. As the mother of two, I’d long been an advocate for my children when they were bullied. It was time to be an advocate for myself. I marched into the TA’s office and said, “This is wrong. It’s taken me a lifetime to reclaim my passion for words and I won’t be silenced anymore.” I wish I could say it was confident writing from there on out, but old stories do not go softly into the past. Little steps and tons of writing and fast forward to a recent party when someone asked, “Are you an artist?” To my delight, I answered without hesitation, “Yes. I’m an author.” Kayce Stevens Hughlett, Life Coach, Speaker and Author at live it to give it And the end of my story? Blaze looked at me and laughed. “Oh honey,” she said. “Have you seen all of your degrees and certifications and achievements? Have you ever counted all of your healing modalities and the blessings you bring into the lives of other women? How can you NOT be a healer?” She was right, of course. I faced the facts and then embraced the facts. I am not an impostor. I am a healer. And I am enough. www.iamenoughmagazine.com

Expert meet the

Lisa D Lisa D is a Transformational Intuitive Master Healer with 2 Master’s Degrees and 25 years of committed leadership to her country and community. She works with women from all around the world who are on the path of self development and are seeking wholeness. Lisa D has two spirit guides and combines 10+ healing modalities to help you remember, embrace, and love the woman you were born to be. Contact her at lisa@lisadalessio.com for more inforomation and to schedule your complimentary information session. Website www.lisadalessio.com

Listen Now

IAE { 31

Take Off Your Mask: Relationship Mastery

The World Needs to See You by Becky & Corey Center

t your core you are a powerful, wise being who needs no explanation. You are brilliant, creative, and you have a genius zone where you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. You have a good heart, a whole lot of love to give, and you love to laugh and have fun. Is that what you see when you look in the mirror, or do you see someone else staring back at you?

There is another problem with masks as well. Chances are you have more than one - a different mask for every situation: when you are with your friends you act in a certain way, when you are with your co-workers you act differently, and with your family you are different still. This goes much deeper than a simple respecting of the boundaries each relaThe person you see looking tionship requires. You become at you in the mirror is a pera different person altogether, sona you have created, and it only allowing each group to keeps you separated from the see one aspect of who you world around you. A persona are. This is why the different is a mask worn by an actor. groups of people in your life When you are living your life rarely interact - you are wearfrom behind the comfort of the ing different masks in each mask you have created, your situation and your cover will be voice is distorted through the blown if these people ever get mask, making it nearly impos- together. This type of compartsible for you to be fully heard mentalizing limits your ability or understood. This gets exto be authentic because you tremely frustrating when you have to act in accordance with are trying to communicate your the persona you are showing needs and desires to the people at any given moment. In orin your life. Even if someone der to keep up the act, you are is genuinely interested in what often put in situations where you have to say, they will be you are forced to either break distracted by the mask you are the persona or compromise wearing. They may begin to your values. Unfortunately, this feel the real you, but they can’t compromise is the road most see you. This incongruence often traveled. prevents authentic connection from occurring. IAE { 32

It is important for you to know that wearing a mask doesn’t mean that you are being fake. Chances are each mask you wear is a very authentic piece of who you are. The problem is that people are only able to see that piece of you; they can’t see all of you. The masks you wear will keep you from speaking up when you know you need to. Your impact in the world will also be significantly limited if you continue to wear these masks as you live your life. You will find this behavior to be absolutely exhausting. Constantly having to change masks and make sure you are showing the proper side of yourself in every situation is a good way to burn out. If you take an honest look at your life, you will notice that you are living in fear and you are never able to relax. It seems that after a while you are no longer wearing the masks; they are wearing you. May 2015

In order to experience true intimacy, you have to be willing to be vulnerable which requires taking off your mask. While vulnerability can be scary, it is the catalyst for authentic connection. In the moment you choose to be vulnerable, you are revealing your heart, which will open up possibilities in every area of your life. You don’t have to start by sharing your deepest, darkest secrets. Start small with someone close to you - baby steps. As you practice being vulnerable, focus on progress, not perfection. You are taking on a new practice by choosing to be vulnerable, and it is just that: a practice. Take it easy on yourself and celebrate every step forward. It may not be easy, but it is worth

Experts meet the

it. Through vulnerability you will connect with your power - not the perception of power, but the raw, untapped potential that lives in your heart. In that moment you will be seen for who you really are, you will be heard, and you will be felt on a level that is unlike anything else in this world. The more you are able to be vulnerable, the more you will start to remove the masks you have created to shield yourself from the world. As you remove the masks you will begin to live your life very differently. Suddenly, you will have the freedom to act in any way you choose, instead of putting on a show and hoping to be accepted. You will no longer worry about what people

think because you will open up a level of communication in which people will tell you what they think and you will be able to hear what they have to say. Stop living your life in fear. The world needs your brilliance. The world wants to see your beautiful face, so take of your mask and let us see you. It’s time to reclaim your power. You deserve it.

Becky and Cory Center Listen Now

Becky and Cory Center are on a mission to help women be seen, heard, and felt for who they truly are so they can attract their ideal romantic partner. They are the creators of The Relationship Detox, a 21 day detox program that allows you to let go of past relationships while transforming your current ones. Becky and Cory have also created The Embodied Voice Program, where you are able to clear past pain and limiting beliefs out of the body, calibrate who or what you’re attracting, and call in your desires. Becky is currently working to finish her Ph.D, combining several aspects of her background including psychology and therapeutic vocalwork. With over 15 years of group facilitation, she has learned the secrets to effective and compassionate communication - a skill she gladly passes on to her clients. Cory is the creator of Attention Training, a unique meditative style designed to teach your mind to focus and reprogram your thought patterns. He is also a published poet and author; first published at 19, writing has remained a strong passion for him and is the way he has tapped into his authentic voice and expression. Website: www.mantramed.com

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Health & Wellness Mastery

Freedom from

Food Paralysis

by Sharon Otness

t has never been more confusing to figure out what to eat and what foods are good for us. In the beginning, eating was simple. We foraged and hunted for foods and ate what was available. We started to grow foods to broaden our choices. We ate locally and seasonally, as that was our only choice. Eventually we started to figure out ways to smoke, preserve, and ferment foods to lengthen the time the food would be edible during the seasons when it was harder to find fresh things to eat. All of this took much of our time, but it was still simple. It was—by its nature—whole organic food. Fast forward to the last 50 years. Never have we had more foods available to us and at no time have we been more confused by food! It’s time to simplify. The nutrition world is full of controversy. I studied hundreds of food theories in nutrition school. After being exposed to so many choices and continuing to keep myself abreast of the new theories that crop up, I have come to my own conclusion. I believe food is medicine, but you should eat for pleasure. Keep it simple, keep it fresh, and keep it delicious. What happens if your head starts spinning with all the dos and don’ts of eating, the constant barrage of should and should not’s around food? What happens when you are so confused with all the rules to follow that you either say, “Heck with IAE { 34

it, I am just going to eat anything,” or even worse, “I am not going to eat anything”? Instead of suffering with food paralysis, I say go back to the basics.

First of all, find the foods that love you back and figure out the ones that don’t. For this, you can do a simple elimination diet. An elimination diet is what I start each of my clients on. It is not a weight-loss diet; it is simply designed to see if you are intolerant of the foods that are the most universal allergens. Soy, peanuts, dairy, wheat/gluten grains, and eggs are common culprits. I also suggest at the same time removing coffee,

cured meats, and processed oils and all other processed foods. You can do this yourself or work in a group or one-on-one in a program like I offer. The basic idea is to eliminate these foods from your system for a couple of weeks, then add them back in slowly—one at a time. I suggest starting with that food you miss the most. I found I felt so much better off of gluten grains and dairy (I was a huge pasta, bread, and cheese lover)! But now, I can have a little Greek yogurt and sourdough bread from a farmers market (I believe the fermentation makes all the difference for me). Once you have your baseline then you can continue on and refine.

Expert meet the

Sharon Otness

Sharon Otness is a certified holistic health counselor and interior designer living in Santa Monica, Ca. Her holistic approach to emotional health and wellness allows her to help women of all ages meet the challenges of food, ultimate vitality, and creating sanctuary in a fast-paced world. Sharon is passionate about supporting clients through depression, anxiety and life transitions so they can discover the balanced and amazng life they were meant to live, full of meaning, love and without self-deprivation or guilt. Her mission is to help people “Live Life on a Natural High.” Website: www.sharonotnessfoot.com May 2015

Here are some simple ways to develop a nutritional plan that is unique to you.

RECIPE

• Keep it whole. If you just want to stop eating so many processed foods, make it simple and focus on adding in as many whole, unrefined foods as possible. Fill your cart or basket with fresh fruits and vegetables, herbs, nuts, seeds, sprouted grains, wild caught fish, free-range chicken and grass-fed beef. To add additional flavor, have fresh ginger, garlic, onions, spices, and tahini, miso paste and tamari sauce. • Hydrate with water. Infuse your water with berries, citrus fruits, and herbs to take the place of sodas. Avoid fruit juice, as it is loaded with sugar and little to no fiber. If you want juice, make it green with cucumbers, greens, parsley, celery and a little apple and ginger for a nutritious tonic as a pick me up. Add green tea to your diet. You get the pick me up without the jitters. Plus, green tea has many medicinal properties. If it agrees with you, enjoy a coffee minus the sugar and syrupy flavorings. • Keep snacks healthy with cut up veggies, hummus and pesto as dips, simple trail mixes of nuts, seeds, and a sprinkle of dried cranberries and dark chocolate. Enjoy a piece of fruit. Make protein balls and keep them in the refrigerator for an anytime snack, including breakfast. • Add healthy fats like coconut oil, avocado and nut butters, and dairy butter if you can tolerate it. Use these in cooking, salad dressings, smoothies, and salads to keep yourself satiated. Life without fats is no fun! • Prepare food once or twice a week so that you have items ready to grab for breakfasts, lunches, and dinners when time is hectic. Use my cook once, eat twice principal. It is just as easy to make a couple of soups as you are basically chopping and adding ingredients to broth. Make one chunky and puree one to have it creamy for variety. A batch of quinoa or brown rice ready in the fridge makes creating a main dish, side dish or lunch salad or even breakfast cereal really easy. Have leafy greens ready to grab for salads along with an easy homemade dressing or two. Remember, none of the above needs to be complicated. Just start where you are and then expand from there, as you like. Don’t feel like you need to jump in and change everything all at once. My latest client and I are simply adding in one to three new things maximum for her to work on every two weeks. Better to slow down, make your habits good habits and keep your new eating fun and exciting instead of overwhelming. Don’t forget, small changes can yield really big results. www.iamenoughmagazine.com

Almond & Date Protein Balls Ingredients

• 1 cup of raw, whole almonds • 1 cup of fresh dates (or soak dried dates for 2 hrs prior to using) • 1 tbsp natural almond butter (or any nut butter) • 3 tbsp coconut oil • 3 tbsp cacao powder (or good quality cocoa) • 2 tsp cinnamon • 1 tbsp raw honey raw shredded coconut (optional)

Method

Process the almonds until they are like crumbs. Add the rest of the ingredients and process until well combined. Using wet hands, roll the mixture into balls and place on a plate. Sprinkle on or roll in shredded coconut if desired. Chill in the fridge for an hour to set (if you can wait that long) and enjoy as a healthy eating snack

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Living in Your Feminine Power Mastery

Angry Woman The

by Ivana Siska

he was probably about 55 years old. The years of her life showed upon her body; yes she carried her extra weight mostly around her middle. Yes, her complexion showed years of sun damage, bad food choices, and a smoking addiction. She’d definitely been through stuff. She was loud, and bold, and agitated with everything. I started watching her the moment she stepped into my favorite cafe on a gorgeous, sunny Sunday afternoon. The cafe was bustling with an assorted crowd of personalities, all seeming happy and satisfied to be enjoying one of Beverly Hills’ most popular hangouts. The energy in the place was busy and upbeat; everything as expected. Then SHE entered. Like a hurricane, this woman blew into the cafe, and immediately, the mood changed. Like a storm cloud, this lady brought darkness and cold. She came to meet a friend, or a sister perhaps? I couldn’t tell because I never saw the other woman’s face, but it didn’t matter. SHE was finally here, and we all got to hear about how awful it was for HER to get here. Based on the excuses that poured from her lips, she was obviously late IAE { 36

The women sat across the cafe from me, but I could clearly hear every word of their conversation. Actually, it was more of a one-sided diatribe from the angry woman. For one hour and twenty minutes, the rant continued, and the friend endured. We all got to hear about her horrible ex-husband, her incompetent boss, her ungrateful kids, her lazy housekeeper, her jealous co-workers, her insensitive doctor, and of course how all politicians are corrupt and for this date. We heard about the all youth are out to ruin the world. It traffic, the heat, the “stupid such and was almost too much for me to take, such” and all the reasons why she and none of it was directed at me. was late, but no apology for keepThe poor friend tried standing up to ing her friend waiting. Nothing was leave on three different occasions, good, nothing was right. She was so but the woman only talked louder angry, and she spoke loud enough to and became more agitated each let all of us know about it. I don’t time her friend stood up. Finally, generally eavesdrop and watch peo- the friend received a phone call and ple at cafes when I’m there to write, gratefully used that as the reason to but this woman completely captiscurry away. I hope there were some vated me with her brash bitterness. kind words on the other end of that If there were a prize for obnoxious- call for her. ness, she would have won. I stopped trying to type and shifted my focus to her. Who was I kidding anyway—how could I possibly type while she was holding court in the cafe? I wondered about her. I wondered what had happened to her in her life to make her this way. I wondered if she was like this on a daily basis, always so angry and vile, or if something really awful just happened and she was just having a bad day. I totally get bad days and how they can take over our feelings and hold us hostage to irrational behavior, and I have also worked with many clients who actually live this way every single day of their lives. I hoped for her sake, that it was the former.

The sour woman collected her belongings and left the cafe alone and just as angry as she had arrived. Nothing changed in her life.

Why am I sharing this story with you? Because nothing changed in that woman’s life, and yet she impacted people around her: her friend, the other cafe patrons, me, and perhaps everyone else who happened to be in her path that day. I’m sharing this story because it’s important. It’s important to be real, to express and share our feelings. It’s important to count on the support of friends, and to let people know when we are unhappy and need a hand. For sure - venting is good. Being a victim is not. May 2015

I don’t know what happened to the woman, to make her so bitter and awful to be around, but I do know that she was on a fast track to being locked into that angry-victim mind jail, one without friends or anyone left to support her. It’s true that we cannot control what happens in our lives. Accidents happen, plans get ruined, people get divorced, we get fired, we get hurt, we grow old, and then we die. There is not much we can do to control what happens around us, almost nothing really, and yet we are not helpless. What we can do is be in control of how we choose to act and react in our lives. We get to choose how we think and feel about anything and everything. We get to choose curiosity over anger, an open mind over fixed beliefs, and wonder over fear. It’s all up to us. The reality of what our life becomes is the result of how we think and feel about it. Even as I write this, I’m thinking of that bitter woman. At first I was truly annoyed at her and her wrath upon the happy café crowd. Then, I decided to take another perspective and see if I could

Expert meet the

view her in a different light. As it turns out, as in every situation, I definitely could. I chose to be curious and wonder about this woman. She is, after all, a sister. I put myself in her shoes and allowed myself to connect to her heart. As I did this, any resentment for her ruining my afternoon melted. I allowed myself to soften and open up to what she must be going through – no matter the reason, her feelings are real. My change of perspective gave me compassion and insight, and even… inspiration for this piece. I now wanted to befriend her and help her feel not so alone, less of a victim, stronger in herself. What came through was an appreciation for her battle wounds, an understanding of her defenses, and an out-pouring of love for her, and for the part of her that is a part of me. Her wounded little girl lives inside of me too, and I can empathize and sympathize and help heal both of us with that understanding. I’m grateful to the grumpy woman for putting me in touch with that tender part of myself, and for being real

I wonder about that woman. I wonder how her day would have changed if she had allowed herself to vent and then let go. To let go and open the space up for something new, something positive, something loving and sweet. I wonder if she could even see past herself, if she looked into the eyes of her friend and saw that despite the anger and bitterness, she had a friend. She had support and love, and the comfort of a beautiful, sunny day in one of the most amazing cities in the world. I hope so because that is what I wish for all of us. So if you see this woman, across from you, or within you, share the knowledge that we have the power and the ability to see the world in anyway we wish. I ask you to join me and choose love, joy and wonder.

Ivana Siska If Mother Teresa, Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, Richard Branson and Albert Einstein had a love child… it would be Ivana. For almost 20 years, Ivana has been increasing the levels of love, sex, success and satisfaction in the lives of hundreds of people just like you, and plenty of celebrities too. Ivana applies the sciences of psychology, physiology, spirituality and sensuality in a profound and holistic approach that creates intensive, love-filled and transformational experiences. Her intuitive wisdom cuts through all the B.S., (no matter how deep), to get at the real truth and produce life-changing results. An engaging guest speaker and author, Ivana is based in Beverly Hills, and consults clients internationally via phone or Skype, in workshops, luxury retreats and private arrangements. Website: www.IvanaLoveCoach.com

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and raw, and giving me the opportunity to share this learning with you. All of us have deep wounds, and less than favorable life experiences, but we can choose to see them in a different light, rather than identify with them.

Listen Now IAE { 37

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