F E AT U R E D A R T I C L E
“Closure” J
ust as many people have trouble beginning a new project, or task, so do people frequently have trouble with ending the same, or bringing closure. In developmental psychology, in the works of Erikson and Piaget, as well as the neuropsychologists, who focus on attachment theory, from the time of earliest childhood we have trouble moving from stage to stage in human For each of us, leaving a stage in life in control. Whether as a young adult or as a development.
n By Rabbi Stephen Robbins
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which we have become both comfortable and competent engenders a profound sense of loss because the hard won competence brought a feeling of wellbeing. It added to our emerging identities, a sense of ourselves, as more fully developed and able to cope with, compete with and develop our own place in the world. It is sad to let go off such feelings. It also produces an anxiety of helplessness because the next stage comes to us whether we want it or not. Having passed myself from adulthood into becoming a senior it produces all of the same kinds of emotional responses that I had as a child moving from childhood into adolescence. I don’t like to give up the strength and agility of my physical life. I worry about my capacity to compete in a world where youth, energy and potential are stressed over older age, wisdom, knowledge, and experience. When I look in the mirror I do not see me, but, my father and/or my mother. The agility of my mind is becoming filled with those “senior moments,” where my consciousness has become sluggish. This is the change that happens naturally, organically and out of my
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senior, this profound sense of loss prevents closure and transition into the next stage of life, fully and completely. This basic principle of human development teaches us that no task is ever truly completed or every really comes to closure. After having worked as a Rabbi and counselor for over fifty years, I am conscious of all those tasks in my life that I finished but was never really completed, because in some way I resisted letting them go so I could move on. At the same time, as I resist loss and anxiety, I embrace the moment looking forward to the new possibilities of what the new stage in my life, the new tasks, and the opportunity for new growth is presented to me. It is so freeing to open the door onto pathways untraveled. I feel so good about them, because all the prior years have prepared me for what is next. Even though I feel excitement and hope, there is that part of me that is anxious and frightened that I will not be able to do what is expected of me and more than that, what I expect of myself. Do you ever find yourself replaying old conversations, confrontations, presenta-
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