fieldstone February 2013 • Free
Love Thy
Neighbor
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February 2013
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For Better or Worse, We are Neighbors I learned at an early age that it was important to get along with my neighbors. Whether it was my sister in the next bedroom, the person sitting across from me in homeroom, the girls in the suite next to me in my college dorm, the people below and above me in my first apartment, or the family next to mine in Fieldstone Farms, I knew that it was very important to love my neighbor.
It says in the Bible that you are supposed to “love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark: 12:31.) After falling in love with our Fieldstone Farms house the first time we walked though it, my husband, Chip, and I took at look at the neighborhood. Driving down our soon-to-be street, we saw little boys everywhere. This was great, because we had two of our own. Even better, we saw parents chatting in driveways while watching their children playing together. That convinced us. As we moved into our new home, several of our new neighbors came over and introduced themselves to us. They brought treats and offered to help us move in. We thought we were dreaming. Following the afore mentioned logic, we thought these neighbors must really treat themselves well if this was the way there were treating us. Now, after nearly eight years in our home, several of our beloved neighbors have moved, but the tone in the neighborhood remains the same. In fact, the photo you see on this page is one I keep framed in my home. It reminds me of summer months past, when this was the typical scene in our backyard. I’d like to, once again, thank my neighbors, past and present, for joining us as we fired up the grill, watched the kids play tag in the backyard and caught up on what was going on our lives. I’d also like to thank the local businesses that advertise in Fieldstone. The owners of these businesses believe in our community, and believe that their products or services can benefit the people in it. Please, help us help them by choosing to contact them first when in need of the services or products they provide. I’m also thankful for the many talented people who help put Fieldstone together. These are, literally, as Mr. Rogers of PBS TV would say, “the people in your neighborhood.” If you meet one of them, thank them for so selflessly contributing. Is there’s something you’d like to contribute to the magazine? If you have an idea for a topic you’d like covered in Fieldstone, please let us know. Send your comments or suggestions to suzanne@fieldstonemagazine.com. And don’t forget to check us out online at fieldstonemagazine.com. You can also “Like” us on Facebook to stay up-to-date on any information or events that arise between issues. About the Publisher Suzanne Gallent is a native of Chattanooga and a graduate of the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. After an 18year career as an account executive and project manager for a number of Nashville’s foremost marketing, advertising and public relations firms, she left it all behind to pursue her most challenging and rewarding job yet, full-time motherhood. She has lived happily ever after in Fieldstone Farms for eight years with her husband, Chip, and her two sons.
On the Cover
Christine and Roland Reed, and Nynette and Rod Jordan – Fieldstone Farms neighbors, 2010 flood survivors and longlasting friends. Photo by Christi Kline Clarendon
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Contents
Credits
For Better of Worse, We are Neighbors................................... 4
Publisher Suzanne Gallent Suzanne@fieldstonemagazine.com
Friendship Among Neighbors Runs Deeper Than Water......................................................................6-7 Don’t Misjudge the Snake.........................................................8-9 Passion versus Addiction: How To Tell the Difference....................................................................10-11 Happily Caught Between Two Loves................................12-13 Real Estate Facts..............................................................................14 The Simple Act of Loving Your Neighbor..............................15
February Contributors Peter Alderman Scott Fishkind Brian Bachochin Sara Hamill Susan Shifay Cheung Rachel Norris Dianne Christian Christine Reed Maria Dinoia Rhonda Fanny Fieldstone Alison Wolf
Calendar......................................................................................16-17
February Cover Photo Christi Kline (949) 302-5608 Christi@AuthenticCapture.com
Kids Klassifieds.................................................................................18 Around the Neighborhood.........................................................18 What’s Your Opinion, Critics Wanted......................................19
Fieldstone Franklin, Tennessee (615) 390-6405 FieldstoneMagazine.com Facebook.com/FieldstoneMagazine
How to Letter in Art.......................................................................19 Tangled Secrets................................................................................20 The Perfect Pour..............................................................................21 An Authority on Bugs from Fieldstone Farms......................22 Love Your Body - Embrace Contractile Strength................23 Franklin Fire Department Events...............................................24
Additional copies available at the Fieldstone Clubhouse, The Good Cup, Walgreens & Publix.
Love is a Verb....................................................................................25 Confessions of an ADHD Humor Writer................................26 The Fieldstone View.......................................................................27 Help Me Rhonda.............................................................................28 A Love Letter to Sage Advice.....................................................29 The Origin of Valentine’s Day.....................................................30
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February 2013
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Focus on Fieldstone Neighbors Helping Neighbors
Photo by Christi Kline
Friendship Among Neighbors Runs Deeper Than Water
by Christine Reed - Summer Haven
After an exhaustive search of homes in the Franklin area in 2006, my husband, Roland, and I bought a two story brick colonial with a lovely tree-lined backyard on Summer Haven Circle. We signed the papers at the closing in August, and then hopped in the car and headed over excitedly to our new abode. We had only the house keys in hand and a few precious, sentimental items (the ones you never want to trust to the moving company) packed in our car. As we pulled up to the house, we noticed a couple standing in the driveway next door and we introduced ourselves. They were very welcoming and offered to lend any tools needed to help get settled in. That initial conversation marked the beginning of an enduring friendship with Nynette and Rod Jordan that has grown much closer over time. We have been blessed to share many celebrations of Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas with the Jordans, and have watched the Super Bowl game at one another’s homes just about every year. We’ve gotten to know extended family members on both sides. We take care of each others’ pets and homes when the other couple travels. We keep keys to each other’s places for emergencies, to borrow things or to be “on call” for serviceman when our schedules prohibit us from being there.
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Rod and I are both fans of the New York Giants and the New York Yankees, and we take pride in our New England roots – he from Vermont and I from Connecticut. We both married Southerners, as Nynette grew up in Georgia and Roland was raised in North Carolina. The four of us have spirited conversations about politics and infrequently agree on that topic. We share a Christian faith and our relationship reflects those values. We have prayed together and supported each other through health crises. The Great Commandment, love thy neighbor as thyself, and The Golden Rule, do unto others as we would have done to us, characterize how we relate and override any differences of opinion on politics or current events. The brilliant artist of stained glass masterpieces, Marc Chagall, once said, “All colors are the friends of their neighbors and the lovers of their opposites.” It’s a good metaphor for how we navigate controversial discussions about politics or current events. Nynette and I have shared many hours of conversation during the past six years. Six years?! My, how time flies. Whether we’re chatting on a back patio or cozied up in the great room of one of our homes, we’ve talked about our family, the TV shows we enjoy, career decisions and home decor and renovations, which is one of our favorite topics. We’ve spent hours consulting one another and
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each other’s spouses about paint colors, floor samples, tile samples and a plethora of other home improvement ideas. Little did we know that such decisions would become imminent in May of 2010. On the Saturday afternoon of May 1, 2010, my husband, Roland, and I were anxiously anticipating the broadcast of the Kentucky Derby. We began watching the television coverage and trying to pick out our favorite horses. The local news media kept “interrupting” to bring weather updates about heavy thunderstorms and possible flash flooding. We assumed that this would be yet another storm that would blow by and that we really didn’t need to see every satellite image of the Middle Tennessee area. As it rained and then rained some more, we noticed that some large puddles were forming in the common area behind our home. My husband became a bit concerned as the water started to creep up into our backyard, but then the water receded. “Phew,” we thought. As Roland was taking a quick nap, Nynette called on the phone and said, “Take a look out of your back window.” When I peered out to the common area, I saw a river starting to form with a current flowing toward Fieldstone Parkway. Then I looked out the front window and water was gushing out of the sewers, and about six to eight inches of water had surrounded our yard. In the brief 25 minutes of Roland’s nap, our yard became engulfed. Yes, our homes were indeed flooded. There is a lovely little creek in the wooded section of the common area behind our home. It connects with the Harpeth River, and it was one of the features that we found appealing when we first looked at the home as potential buyers. We never expected, however, to see a river in the field behind our yard, much less a temporary three-day lake. Nynette and Rod had just completed beautiful renovations of their kitchen and master bathroom on the first floor of their home. We had begun the planning process to renovate our master bath upstairs and had two paid-off cars in our garage. Both were saturated by flood waters and no longer drivable. We moved out of our homes for the first half of the summer to complete all of the repairs and rebuilding. While we were aware that there were many homes throughout the region that were more severely damaged, and grateful that we could restore our residences, the whole experience was truly unbelievable and devastating. We didn’t really have time to even think about it straightaway. We just rolled up our sleeves, began cleaning up, and accepted all the help we could to rebuild our homes and our lives one step at a time. It was a surreal experience. Three weeks after Hurricane Katrina, I led 144 college students to help with clean-up efforts in New Orleans. Now, I was the one in need of help. We began conversations for a second time with the Jordans about paint colors and floor samples, all of
which we had done when we moved in four years prior, and Nynette and Rod had just done in the process of their renovations. We consulted with each other about selecting air conditioning units and water heaters, as well as contractors we could trust to remove and replace sheet rock and make other repairs. Together, we muddled through those murkier floodwaters in the days following the storm, and waded through the morass of paperwork and repairs in the months thereafter. Many of our colleagues, out-of-town relatives and friends were surprised that it took until November to complete the recovery/renovation process. It made a big difference to have neighbors who understood and with whom we could express our frustrations. While you never want to go through an experience like a major flooding of your home, God always has a way of making His presence known especially in the most difficult times. God’s love was certainly present as we supported each other during that trying experience. The wise and inspirational Helen Keller once said, “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” I could not agree more, as the love in an already wonderful friendship, exceeded the depth of any floodwaters we could ever encounter. We also felt wrapped in His love, as many people from Fieldstone Farms and local churches offered us food, helping hands and loving arms enfolding. With each hug and embrace, we were comforted greatly by God’s grace. With our homes restored more than two years ago, we and the Jordans have returned to our happy lives on the cul-de-sac, filled with lots of good conversation, food, drink and laughter. We continue to enjoy heading out to the movies, sporting events and local festivals together. Knowing that life is never free of adversities, we live in confidence that we can call upon each other when needed, but we hope and pray that trouble stays at bay. Love ever gives Forgives, outlives, And ever stands With open hands. And while it lives, It gives, For this is love’s prerogative – To give, and give and give. – John Oxenham, English poet
Christine Henchar Reed moved to TN to attend grad school at Vanderbilt, and now has dedicated her career to working for public tv, assisting people with disabilities and serving in ministry. Christine and her husband moved to Fieldstone in 2006. She is also co-author of Contagious Optimism! You may reach her at HencharReed@gmail.com.
February 2013
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Don’t Misjudge the Snake
by Susan Shifay Cheung - Dalton Park
Okay, I know Valentine’s Day is commercialized and we’re easily sucked into the whole cards, flowers and candy shebang, but, personally, I love seeing big, red hearts all over the shops. It’s joyful and uplifting. Don’t you think after the blaze of holiday lights and decorations in November and December, January is really a drab, grey month? That’s why it’s fun to embrace the burst of bright colors for Valentine’s Day. A friend, who’s knowledgeable about colors, tells me vibrations from the color red increase muscle activity. Well, I certainly need that to zap me out of my mental and physical stupor during the low energy winter months. I hear that red is being touted as the current “in” color for modern weddings. Sorry, I hate to burst the trend forecasters’ bubbles, but red has been significant in the Chinese culture for eons. Red is considered the most auspicious of colors and forms the backdrop of rituals and celebrations, signifying joy, luck and fortune. It’s expected that a bride in China will get married in red. I wore a traditional bridal outfit called a “kwa” at my wedding banquet. This is a two-piece red silk ensemble embroidered with the dragon and phoenix motif in gold thread, sequins, beads, crystals and pearls. This year, I’m glad to see twice the amount of red in February. As well as red hearts for Valentine’s Day, I’ll put up red decorations and lucky symbols around the house for the Chinese New Year on February 10, the Year of the Water Snake. The year will end on January 30, 2014. More than a fifth of the world’s population celebrates as the Chinese culture does by repeatedly cycling through 12 different animals, which are used for keeping track of consecutive years. It follows the cycles of the moon, so the New Year changes each year between mid-January and mid-February. The actual date for the origins of the Chinese lunar calendar isn’t known, but it’s generally recognized as the longest chronological record in
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history, dating back to around 2,600 BC. Even though the Chinese adopted the Western calendar in 1911, the lunar calendar is still used to track birthdays and festivities, hence I have a birthday according to the Western calendar and one according to the “old calendar,” as it’s known. But, please, only one set of presents is needed! What is less familiar is that the full Chinese lunar calendar is a 60-year, and not a 12-year, cycle. For the start of each twelfth year, beginning with the rat, each animal is assigned one of the five elements in Chinese philosophy: wood, fire earth, metal and water. It takes sixty years to complete the whole cycle of 12 animals and five elements. In 1965, it was the Wood Snake; 1977, the Fire Snake; 1989, the Earth Snake; 2001, the Metal Snake and 2013, the Water Snake. The water element represents flexibility, endurance and wisdom, and these qualities should be reflected in the coming year. Western culture often assigns a negative image to the snake, but I would caution you not to misjudge it. Many Chinese believe the snake is a guardian of the house, giving safety to its occupants. Not withstanding its scary outer form, it’s considered a symbol of kindness, wisdom and loyalty. In Chinese mythology, the snake used to have four legs and was unpopular with the other animals because it
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was up to no good. The Jade Emperor brought it back to heaven to punish it. He cut off its legs, but the other animals pleaded to spare its life. With that merciful act, the snake repented and, henceforth, behaved itself. So when it came to the selection of 12 zodiac animals for the calendar, the snake won a respectable sixth spot and a healthy respect from the people. The snake takes on the basic shape of the dragon and is, often, nicknamed “little dragon.” Those born in a snake year are, generally, romantic, determined, wise and charming. In other words, it’s easy to love a snake person. And with so much love in the air, how can I not spread love to my friends and neighbors
in the Fieldstone Farms community? A snake person fights for things they believe in. So, in a snake year, it’s reasonable for you to go for your goals, visions or dreams in a big way. Love in the air and dreams to be fulfilled – doesn’t that sound good in the gloom of winter? Gung Hei Fat Choi. Sun Nin Fei Lok. Wishing You Prosperity. Happy New Year.
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TPAC.ORG/PeterPan | 615-782-4040 Susan Shifay Cheung has turned her hand to many forms of writing in her various roles, over the years, as corporate trainer, management consultant, journalist and freelance writer. You can contact her at y2s2cheung@yahoo.com.
February 2013
TPAC Box Office Downtown Groups of 10 or more call 615-782-4060
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Passion versus Addiction: How To Tell the Difference
by Sara Hamill - Belmont
Quite often, my support group members will ask, “How can you tell the difference between having a passion for something, versus being addicted to something?” This question emerges the more we explore our “attachments” in life – the things we use daily to cope with our emotional needs. Attachments/addictions come in many (sometimes surprising) forms. We are all familiar with drug and alcohol addictions. We would have a hard time confusing these with a passion for life, mainly because substance abuse has far too many negative consequences. But what about the attachments that don’t carry the same negative undertone – work, children, relationships, hobbies, fitness, food, shopping, spirituality, money? Or what about the intangibles, such as power, acceptance, recognition, competition and status? Would we look at the life of Mother Teresa and call her passion for helping the poor an addiction? Or look at an Olympic athlete’s dedication as unhealthy behavior? It’s a tricky question. The truth is that there is a fine line, and we are all in danger of crossing it. The litmus test of passion versus addiction comes down to our interests, their importance in our lives and the state of our emotional, spiritual health. Recent news reports have covered the saga of Lance Armstrong – the cyclist, fallen from grace amidst allegations of, and now confession to, using performance-enhancing drugs to dominate in his sport. He is a textbook example of addiction. Certainly at the beginning, cycling was probably just a passion for Lance. But when passion became the drive to win, gain status, achieve fame and money, even to the detriment of his health, reputation, friends, family and charitable endeavors, an unhealthy attachment developed. Lying to cover up that behavior and threatening others who wanted to expose the truth are also strong indicators of addiction. Instead of controlling the sport, cycling ended up controlling Lance – the ironic reversal all addictions eventually take. If Lance can ever determine what emotions sit behind his extreme desire to win, then he will move toward overcoming his addictive behavior. He will need to figure out what part of him is so unfulfilled that he pursued competition to such a degree. Gerald May, the author of Addiction and Grace, says, “Loss of willpower is especially important for defining the
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difference between the slavery of true addiction and the freedom of sincerely caring about something. If you find yourself saying, ‘I can handle it,’ ‘I can stop it’ or ‘I can do without it,’ try to perform a very simple test. Simply go ahead and stop it. Do without it. If you are successful, there is no addiction. If you cannot stop, no amount of rationalization will change the fact that addiction exists.” All unhealthy attachment grows out of our desire for love. We latch on to things and ideas because we are imperfect humans, looking to be fulfilled. In short, our attachments are really our poor substitutes for God – the source of all love. If we let go of God, it is possible to cross the line from “passionate” to “addicted” at any time. Relationships that require our emotional attachment, such as those with our children, spouses, friends and family, can easily begin to be used to fulfill our needs rather than as a source of love without expectation. Attaching ourselves to other people out of need leads to codependency, enabling, manipulation, resentment and other unhealthy drama. And in order to feel content at work, we can turn our passion for our job into the insatiable need to succeed and/or to be recognized, praised, promoted or desired. When that happens, we are operating out of our yearning to feel good about ourselves, and we become attached to that desire. Even in our spirituality, we can become attached to an idea of God and make Him what we need, not who He really is. We can start equating our own will with His; our own wishes as His spiritual directives. We can be a part of church activities out of the need to feel like a good person or get the approval of church leadership.
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In short, we must be vigilant about our emotional motivations to avoid crossing the line from healthy to unhealthy interests. We need to figure out the “what” and “why” of our feelings, because that is the root of our actions. If we find ourselves refusing to let go of certain things, people or ideas, even when they are not beneficial to our lives; or if we are living compulsively, controlling our circumstances, trying to fix everything, living in fear, or with anxiety, unexplained sadness, restlessness or rage, then we need to pay attention to these signals. And if we lie, make excuses, blame others for our problems, gravitate toward others exhibiting similar behavior to excuse our own, get angry when confronted about our choices, constantly need to be needed or are always in some crisis, then we are probably operating with addictive behaviors. True passion, or the presence of true love, does not exhibit these traits. The good news is that whenever our lives get off track, there is help. Not only is God always available, but there are also other people and resources in the community to help move us back to a healthier, freer place. Sara Hamill, a native Nashvillian, has been a Fieldstone Farm resident since 2003. She currently works as Restore Ministries Program Director, coordinating support groups for the Maryland Farms, Christ Church, and Brentwood YMCAs as well as church partners. She can be reached at shamill@ymcamidtn.org.
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February 2013
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The Simple Act of Loving Your Neighbor
by Rachel Norris - Summer Haven
We Fieldstone Farmers, we’re a bit stacked on top of each other. We know things about our next-door neighbors that many of their friends don’t: what they look like on Saturday morning with no make-up and in their slippers; their dog’s poop schedule; their driving habits; how much they paid to re-do the kitchen. But what do we really know about these people that live their lives just a few feet away? It’s sometimes unnatural to me that the folks who are the closest in proximity to us are not always a part of our lives. Of course it has not always been that way. I don’t think I’m alone in romanticizing the quaintness of yester-year, when neighbors were the bulk of each other’s lives. It’s the element of Franklin life that struck me most the first time I heard Mr. Jimmy Gentry. He could name every 1940’s house downtown and every family member in it. He said that back then, everybody knew everybody else’s business. They all knew when a son had lost his life in war, because they saw the black sedan drive up the driveway, and then the yellow star emerge in the kitchen window symbolizing the family’s loss. They wept together, rebuilt together and played together. Maybe I’m imagining it, but it seems they shared a richness of life that fed their souls in a deep way. They needed each other. Twenty-first century culture looks a lot different on the outside, but I believe even the busiest, most social-media savvy of us are still looking for a hometown community in which to belong. This place, it is more than just brick and aggregate. It was designed to create a sense of community with shared spaces, a common identity, our own school and shopping center, and paths and playgrounds that draw us out to exercise and to interact. Being a neighbor has never been closer to our fingertips; never been easier. Oh, that we would take advantage of this opportunity, even if we’re just passing through! I say this to myself as much as anyone, thinking of the folks I have met here, and wondering which of them I could get to know better, and what fruit might come from those relationships.
Organizational psychologists say the definitive element of true community is shared emotional connection. In other words, when members of a community are friends, the community is at its best. Perhaps the phrase “loving your neighbor” isn’t comfortable for you. Might you then consider a shared emotional connection? The loving and connecting; the fostering of community; it’s up to each one of us to determine what that looks like. For me, I think it mostly means being friends. And in becoming friends, you can learn what needs a neighbor might have, see how you might contribute to those needs, and vice-versa. And then something happens – you come to need each other. Love your neighbor as yourself – this phrase, this command, has been stirring in me for a while now. It’s the crux of the gospel, second only to loving God. I know this is all so simple, but God keeps taking me back to the simple things, and I can’t escape this one. What if this actually means loving my literal neighbors? And how is it I am well into my fourth decade of life and this is just now occurring to me? And how, yes, how might I do this better? I guess I’ll start with something simple. Rachel Norris lives in Summer Haven with her husband Jay and her children Cas, Jake and Molly. She is an active member of Sarah Polk Chapter, Daughters of the American Revolution (sarahpolkdar.org), which meets on the first Thursday evening of each month in Cool Springs.
February 2013
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Feb. 2013
Fieldstone’s March Issue Deadline Information
Contributor Space Reservation: February 15th – Fieldstone is YOUR community magazine so if you have something positive to offer, please let us know! Contribution space is always free to residents of Fieldstone Farms but space is limited so reserve your space by the 15th. Contributor Submission Deadline: February 18th – Please have your text and pictures in to us by the 18th. New Advertiser Space Reservation: February 15th – If you would like to advertise with Fieldstone next month, please let us know by the 15th. Once again, space is limited but if you need any help with your ad, Fieldstone’s graphics department can do it! Please contact us as early as possible to allow us enough time to get it perfect it for you. Advertiser Artwork Deadline: February 18th – If you wish to submit your own camera-ready artwork, please have it to us by the 18th.
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National Carrot Cake Day
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First US Presidential Election
Super Bowl XLVII 5:30pm
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Fieldstone Farms Bridge Fieldstone Clubhouse 12:30pm
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Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day
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Random Acts of Kindness Day
Fieldston Coffee Fieldstone Clu
BGA - Middle/L No Sc
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Fieldstone Farms Book Club Fieldstone Clubhouse 1:30pm Mardi Gras
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President’s Day
All Schools - No School
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National Clam Chowder Day
Happy Birthday Tommy!
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Fieldston Coffee Fieldstone Clu
My Masterpie Fieldstone 6:30
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HOA Board Meeting Fieldstone Clubhouse - 6pm Fieldstone Farms Bridge Fieldstone Clubhouse 12:30pm BGA - No School
Tell a Fairy Tale Day
Fieldston Coffee Fieldstone C 9a
Fieldston Coffee Fieldstone 9a
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National Fettuccine Alfredo Day
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Groundhog Day
Hershey’s Chocolate Founded in 1894
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Valentine’s Day
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National Gumdrop Day
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ece Art Class Clubhouse 0 pm
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George Washington’s Birthday
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Emergency............................................... 911 Poison Control..............................936-2034 Crisis Intervention........................269-4357 Franklin Police...............................794-2513 Williamson Co. Sheriff.................790-5550 Franklin Fire Dept.........................791-3275 Williamson Medical Center.........435-5000 Animal Control..............................790-5590 Schools Hunters Bend Elementary...........472-4580 Walnut Grove Elementary...........472-4870 Grassland Middle.........................472-4500 Franklin High.................................472-4450 BGA.................................................794-3501 Columbia State CC.......................790-4400 Williamson Co ALC.......................790-5810
Lower Schools chool
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Local P hone Numbers
Services Middle TN Electric Service . .......794-1102 Comcast.................................800-266-2278 Direct TV................................866-505-9387 National Dog Biscuit Day
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Local Government Franklin City Government...........791-3217 County Clerk.................................790-5712 Franklin Library.............................595-1250 Veteran Affairs.............................790-5623 Miscellaneous The Fieldstone Club.....................790-9124 Senior Services..............................376-0102 Voter Registration........................790-5711 Chamber of Commerce...............794-1225
Happy Birthday Ellen!
February 2013
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Kid’s Klassifieds
Are you looking for a certified & reliable babysitter?
Do you babysit, mow lawns, wash cars, pet sit, etc. in our neighborhood? Then send us your information and we will post it in our classified section. 18 and younger only please – Thank you!
Meredith Wilken - 521-6449 or mkwilken@hotmail.com 12 years old, honor student, Red Cross Certified, 7th grader at Grassland Middle School! Need a babysitter you can trust? Call Kayla Turner at 866-7921 or 791-9311.
Need care for your pet, but don’t want to pay for boarding? Contact Vaughn Hamill at vaughn.hamill@ gmail.com or 595-7996. Availability:
September-May: Morning and Evening May-August: All day Williamson County School Holidays: All day
Rates: 1-2 visits per day: $10/day; 3-4 visits per day: $12/day. References available upon request. Need help studying to improve grades, ACT/SAT scores, or standardized test performance? Call Caleb Gaddes - 438-6596 or email caleb.gaddes@gmail.com. 18-year-old senior at Franklin High School. AP student with honors.
I am a 16 year old junior at Christ Presbyterian Academy. I live in Wexford and love kids. 4 years experience. Rent–A–Teen - For all your technological issues • • •
Solve tech problems with computers, cell phones, Ipods, TVs, cameras, video players, etc. Answer any and all questions – No question is too simple. Help shop for the ideal product to fit your needs.
Hourly rates - available weekends only. I am a Franklin High School student and have been passionate about technology since I was very young. Ben Bergman: 595-5573 or rentateen42@gmail.com. Call or email for a free quote.
References available upon request. Morgan Polston - Babysitting, Pet Sitting, House Sitting MTSU student available on weekends, local neighbor Contact morganlpolston@gmail.com.
Beginner Guitar Lessons - I am a 15-year-old Fieldstone Farms resident and have been teaching beginner guitar lessons in my home for three years. I have openings for a limited number of new students. $10 per half-hour lesson for ages 10-18. Contact Arin at: brewbeat@comcast.net
Around the Neighborhood..
Fieldstone Farms Book Club
Wednesdays, 9:00 a.m. - Fieldstone 50+ Coffee Club 50 Plus hosts coffee at the Clubhouse every Wednesday morning at 9:00 a.m. All age groups are welcome. Contact Patricia Hampton at hamdoo1994@att.net.
If you enjoy reading and discussing books, please join us for the next Fieldstone Farms Book Club meeting.
Wednesdays, February 5th & 19th, 12:30 p.m. Fieldstone Bridge Group The group meets at the Clubhouse from 12:30 p.m. 3:30 p.m. Contact Mike Hartland to participate 472-8114. February 12th, 1:30 p.m. – Fieldstone Book Club The club meets the 2nd Tuesday of each month at 1:30 p.m. at the Clubhouse. Contact Shirley Fette at Shirley3799@att.net for more information. Everyone is welcome! February 13th, 6:30 p.m. – My Masterpiece Art Class Class takes place at the Fieldstone Clubhouse. Contact Betsy at betsy91@gmail.com for more information. February 19th, 6:00 p.m. - HOA Board Meeting Join us at the Clubhouse for the monthly meeting.
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For February 12th, we selected Firestorm at Peshtigo by Denise Gess and William Lutz. This is an historical account of the firestorm at the lumber town of Peshtigo, Wisconsin, which took place the same night as the Great Chicago Fire on October 8, 1871. The selected book for March 12th is Requiem by Francis Itani (historical fiction) regarding Japanese internment in the United States during World War II. Our book selection is made quarterly keeping balance in mind between fiction, non-fiction, history and classics. We meet the second Tuesday of each month at the clubhouse at 1:30. Conversations are always interesting with many different viewpoints and we always welcome new members! Please contact Shirley Fette, shirley3799@att.net, for more information.
fieldstonemagazine.com
What’s Your Opinion? Critics Wanted! Do you love eating out, going to movies, listening to music, reading books or discovering interesting travel destinations near and far? Then we want your opinion. Fieldstone is looking for submissions from anyone of any age in the Fieldstone Farms community. What should you write about? ▪▪
Restaurants – maybe you’ve tried a new eatery in town and you’d like to report on the food, service, ambiance and family-friendly nature of it.
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Movies – maybe you’ve seen the latest Hollywood blockbuster or rented an independent documentary, and want to let us know what you and your friends thought of it.
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Music – maybe you’ve just seen some live music and want to let us know about a new band or singer in the area, or maybe you just want to give your opinion on a new album release.
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Books – maybe you’ve just finished a book – whether it was for your school English class or your monthly book club, let us know if you’d recommend it to others, and a few reasons why.
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Travel – maybe you’ve just discovered a fascinating destination in the next county, state, country or continent. Let us know if we should put it on our travel itinerary, take the whole family, go only if we’re the adventurous type, plan to stay a few weeks or save it for a long weekend.
You don’t have to be a professional critic, but it’s fine if you are. You don’t even have to be able to write yet; just get a parent to send in your critique for you. We heard somewhere that everybody has an opinion, and we’d love to hear yours regarding the above subjects. We may not be able to print all of them, but we’d love to have a wide variety of age groups represented. Here’s all you have to do: ▪▪
Write your critique on one of the above subjects – no more than 200 words, and it may still be edited for space, grammar and punctuation.
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Include your first name, last inital and the name of your Fieldstone Farms neighborhood.
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Send your critique to info@fieldstonemagazine.com.
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Submissions received by the 17th of each month will be considered for use in the following month’s issue.
How to Letter in Art
Who would have thought that creating a piece of art based on the first letter of a name could attract so much attention? Well, it did. The My Masterpiece Art Class for the month of January was bursting at the seams with the most participants the class has had to date. The good news is that the whole thing went off without a hitch.
Approximately 40 people showed up at the Fieldstone Farms clubhouse on Wednesday, January 16, to turn their letter of choice into an art piece of pride. There was cutting. There was gluing. There was painting. And there was chewing. (That last part courtesy of all who brought a little nibble to share with the group.) After a few short hours, everyone had a unique interpretation of their letter with a scrapbooked-style collage background. A few longtime art class attendees mentioned that this was their favorite art class subject yet. Remember, you don’t have to be a so-called “artist” to attend the My Masterpiece Art Class. You just have to be willing to have fun and give it a try. Instructors lead you through every step of the process, so there’s nothing to worry about, except where in the house you’re going to place your masterpiece after it’s done. Plus, it’s a wonderful way to get to know others in the Fieldstone Farms community. If you’re interested in attending the February 13th My Masterpiece Art Class, e-mail Betsy Bergman at betsy91@gmail.com. You can also catch up with what’s going on with the classes at Facebook.com/ MyMasterpieceArtClass. Classes are $35 per person and include all the painting materials – you bring your own drinks and snacks.
February 2013
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Tangled Secrets
by Alison Wolf - Wimbledon
Most women, and plenty of men, have a love/hate relationship with their hair, and winter weather doesn’t help. This season promotes more “bad hair days” than good, but here are a few healthy hair recipes to help restore your battered tresses and make you love your hair.
Olive Oil & Lemon Dandruff Buster Dandruff is a common complaint as the cool weather hits and the stress of the holidays takes its toll. Snow is delightful, but not this variety. Lemon juice and olive oil is a great natural blend to bust up those flakes and sooth dry winter scalp. (By the way, lemon juice is also very effective for “cradle cap.” When mixed with a little white vinegar and massaged into baby’s scalp, it will break up the thick oily layers.) To use: Mix 1 part fresh lemon juice, 1 part olive oil and 1 part water, and massage into damp scalp to stimulate. Wrap in a warm, damp towel and let mixture sit for 20 minutes, then rinse and shampoo hair. Bodifying Beer Women have long used the benefits of yeast from beer and mead to create beautiful, bouncy locks. The yeasts will plump up your hair shaft and leave your hair looking full and voluminous. The heavier the beer, the better (don’t blame me if your gal steals a Guinness out of the fridge, guys). To use: Mix ½-cup beer (room temperature is best) with 1 tsp light oil (sunflower or canola) and a raw egg. Add a splash of vanilla or orange extract to improve the smell. Apply to clean, damp hair; let sit for 15 minutes, then rinse with tepidto-cool water.
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Dry/Damaged Hair: Honey Honey is a humectant, which means it attracts moisture. If your hair is “thirsty,” frizzy and otherwise parched, this is a great way to revive it and gain some shine – and it will make you smell good enough to eat. To use: Apply to freshly shampooed, wet hair for easier application (trying to work honey through a head full of dry hair is NOT advisable). Massage approximately ½-cup of it in and let it sit for 20 minutes, then rinse with warm water. Add a tsp. or two of water to the honey itself if you need to thin it out. Note: For extremely damaged hair, trying mixing in a proteinrich ingredient like a tsp. of avocado, yogurt or an egg, which will help replenish the keratin protein bonds that styling tools and the sun destroy. Dirty/Greasy Hair: Cornstarch Cornstarch has long been a secret of the travelling super model. If you don’t have time for a shampoo and blow out, but your roots are looking dark and greasy, or it’s just too cold out to imagine getting your head wet, this trick will make you VERY happy. Save your money buying those fancy dry shampoos and “bodifying sprinkles,” because this works just as well (maybe better). To use: Pour cornstarch into an empty salt or pepper shaker, and sprinkle onto your roots. Flip your head upside-down and scrub the cornstarch into your scalp as if you were shampooing – just for a few seconds. Flip up and check yourself out. Amazing, right? Valentine’s Day Beauty Tip: Make up cornstarch shakers and adorn with bows to give away as gifts to your girlfriends for Valentine’s Day. The other recipes can be done in small mason jars, but remember to refrigerate anything with lemon juice or protein in it. Alison Wolf has 24 years of experience in the beauty industry as a master stylist/colorist, salon owner, hair extension artist, teacher and mentor. She is the owner of Alison Wolf & Co. at 1731 Mallory Ln. in Cool Springs. Alison and her husband, Clint, live in Fieldstone Farms with their two sons.
fieldstonemagazine.com
The Perfect Pour
As the 1970 Stephen Stills song, Love the One You’re With, indicates, if you can’t be with the one you love this Valentine’s Day, then share some love with someone else – just don’t do it the way Crosby, Stills & Nash probably did back then. Do it by sharing a glass of wine with someone. And as your neighbor is literally right next to you every day, that would be the perfect person with whom you could share one of the below wines if you’re in a pinch with a celebratory buddy. These wine selections come from the fine folks at The Corner Wine & Spirits in the Harpeth Village Shopping Center on Hillsboro Road, and from Del Rio Wine & Spirits at 111 Del Rio Pike. All bottles are $15 or less.
Cocobon Though the Cocobon Red Wine is a blend, the dominant presence of Zinfandel permeates the drinking experience. It has a lush red color and an aroma of red fruit. With each sip, flavors of vanilla, cherry and chocolate compete for the lead, though in a way that plays off each other enjoyably. There may even be just a touch of raspberry in there as well. The finish is soft and mild.
ChocoVine
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This gluten-free, French Cabernet Sauvignon has been subtly combined with a rich dark chocolate from Holland. The result is a decadent, silky smooth drink. ChocoVine is blended in Holland by one of the oldest and most respected cream manufactures in the world. It’s taken years of research to master the daunting process of reaching the perfect blend between these two flavor profiles. Chocovine can be served on the rocks or as the main ingredient to an array of sinful cocktails. Find drink recipes featuring ChocoVine at chocovine.com.
Performance Apparel
Chocolate Shop Wine Chocolate Shop, the ultimate Chocolate Lover’s Wine, is a deep, ruby red wine blended with rich, velvety chocolate. Inviting aromas of black cherry and dark chocolate combine in the glass and continue on the palate surrounded by hints of cocoa powder. Nuances of sweet red wine linger on the smooth finish. Hailed by Wine Spectator as their “favorite chocolate-flavored red wine,” Chocolate Shop provides you with an indulgent wine experience like no other.
“Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese and one for chocolate.”
- Gina Barreca
No wonder we enjoy the spoils of Valentine’s Day so much!
February 2013
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An Authority on Bugs from Fieldstone Farms If there’s one thing we love, it’s finding out that one of our neighbors is the best at what he or she does. What we love even better is being able to get the word out about that neighbor so others in the community can benefit from using a product or service they can trust. Take Gary Moore for instance. He’s lived in Fieldstone Farms (Wexford) for more than 16 years and has recently put his nearly 30 years of pest control experience into his new business – Bug Authority. Gary has earned an outstanding reputation throughout the greater Nashville area as an authority on “all things bugs,” so his business name is certainly appropriate. Gary and his employees have close to 50 years of pest control experience combined, but their passion extends far beyond their knowledge of bugs. “It’s Bug Authority’s desire to build strong relationships with our customers in order to provide exceptional service and reliable consistency,” said Gary. The company’s tag line is “Service Beyond Control,” because Gary and his staff recognize the importance of listening to their customers to fully grasp their needs so that an appropriate service approach can be established. Gary is a “people person” by nature, so his genuine love of people and winsome personality allow customers to instinctively trust him and his expertise. In addition to general pest control, Bug Authority specializes in termite protection, crawl space health, bed bug and brown recluse spider treatment, and monthly mosquito yard services. With spring knocking at the door, the bugs are sure to fly and the termites are likely to lead the pack. The folks at Bug Authority have seen the consequences when homeowners fail to be proactive in the protection of their homes. Termites feed all year long and can easily go undetected by a non-professional. Homeowners are urged to be proactive. Fieldstone Farms residents who call Bug Authority and mention this article will receive $75 off their initial termite service agreement. Bug Authority can also take over current
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termite warranties following an inspection. Crawl space health concerns have been on the rise as homeowners discover how their crawl space may be hurting their health. Molds and fungi can silently affect the air quality in your home, and you may not know that the air you’re breathing is making you sick. The staff at Bug Authority is qualified and experienced in crawl space inspections and can advise you on how to properly ensure that your crawl space air is healthy. Bed bugs and brown recluse spiders will make their presence known in the most undesirable of ways. If you suspect that you may have either of these pests in or around your home, you’ll want to act quickly and seek professional help to eliminate them as soon as possible. Bed bugs can be transported into your home from stores, movie theaters and other people’s homes; they’re not just found in hotel rooms. Bug Authority provides mattress and encasements, and can monitor your home for bug activity. Best of all, they will handle your situation with care and compassion. Who wouldn’t want to reduce the mosquito population in the back yard? Bug Authority can help to ensure that you’re able to enjoy your outdoor spaces without nasty mosquitoes pestering you. West Nile disease is spread by mosquitoes, so get them before they get you. Bug Authority is delighted to have Fieldstone Farms in their service area, and they want to be your pest control provider. Don’t hesitate to call Gary and the friendly team at Bug Authority and see for yourself how you’ll experience “Service Beyond Control.” Reach them online at MyBugAuthority.com, and by phone at (615) 4721292.
fieldstonemagazine.com
Love Your Body – Embrace Contractile Strength
by Scott Fishkind - Clarendon
The month of February tends to make people focus on romantic types of love. Maybe it’s just the nature of my job, but I’d like to suggest we also focus on loving ourselves by starting with loving our bodies. It’s not always easy to do this, but I’m here to tell you that taking care of your body goes a long way to helping you love yourself and others. Because when you love yourself, no matter your body type, it’s much easier to radiate that love and extend it to those around you. Sometimes we need someone to look up to; someone to help encourage us to be the best we can be. For me, that person is Mike Boyle. Mike is a living legend in the strength and conditioning field. He is the owner of one of the top athletic training facilities in the world, the founder of StrengthCoach.com, and an internationally recognized author and speaker. Mike was also the strength coach of the National Champion Boston University hockey team. He has had a profound influence on fitness professionals everywhere. While there’s no doubt that enhancing “on field” (or “on ice”) performance is an important focus of his work, it is not his only concern. He places equal emphasis on the importance of strength development for the purpose of injury reduction. This is accomplished by helping his athletes develop high levels of contractile strength. This type of muscular strength helps maintain the integrity of the joints, enabling them to better withstand the punishment of constant high-speed impact. Do YOU Need Contractile Strength? Most people reading this article may be thinking, “I’m not an athlete, so what does this have to do with me?” Improved contractile strength can help even nonathletes become more resilient to the demands of daily life and the unpredictable circumstances they may encounter. It could be the difference between sustaining a significant injury or walking away relatively unscathed. Dogs, Rabbits and Contractile Strength? I’d like to share a personal example of how enhanced contractile strength can protect one’s joints in even the most ordinary situation. During the warmer months, I often take my golden retriever for long walks on the paths around Fieldstone Farms at dusk. At that time, it’s easy to see a lot of rabbits happily munching away on the grass. There have been several occasions where I’ve had my head turned and my dog decided to take off in a determined, though futile, attempt to chase one of these bunnies. When this occurs, I usually have just a split second between feeling the sudden tug on the leash and stopping him in his tracks. He’s fairly large, so he creates
quite a lot of force when he decides, “It’s go time!” That force is not only placed into my shoulder capsule, but also down through my torso and, ultimately, into my legs and feet. There is no doubt in my mind that if I didn’t have good contractile strength from my core outward, I would have sustained several injuries by now due to this very sweet, but rabbit-crazy canine. Ground-Based Training A good deal of the training that I do for myself, my clients and my boot campers is “ground based.” This refers to working with resistance tubing or a cable apparatus from a standing position. This type of training builds functional strength in an integrated manner from the feet upwards, since there is no reliance on external stabilization (as would be provided by a machine or bench). This is a great way to train full-body contractile strength, which can transfer into countless activities. Bumps, Groceries and Gardening? The above scenario with my dog is just one situation where having this integrated contractile strength can help prevent injury. There are many other scenarios where having this type of strength can be beneficial as well. For example, people commonly encounter situations where someone may bump into them unexpectedly. Having good strength, as well as balance, in your hips, legs and core can mean the difference between having a potentially harmful fall and merely being thrown temporarily off kilter. It can also help protect your spine by having greater anti-rotational static strength in the torso. Not only can this type of strength prevent injury in terms of an unexpected force being placed on your body, but it can also help you become more capable of handling the various physical stresses of daily life, from carrying a child or groceries, to weeding in your garden or playing recreational sports. So remember, love yourself first. Take care of yourself and your body. And while you’re doing that, don’t ignore the importance of contractile-strength and ground-based strength training in your fitness programs. Embrace it; for it can make you significantly less vulnerable to injury, while helping you function better in almost every other daily activity. Fieldstone Farms Resident Scott Fishkind is a Certified Personal Trainer (ACE) and Certified IMPACT instructor (NESTA) specializing in Fitness Boot Camp Classes and In-Home personal Training. He may be reached at 615804-9396, email: info@time4youfitness.com, or www.time4youfitness.com.
February 2013
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Apply now for Franklin Fire Department’s 2013 Citizens’ Fire Academy The Franklin Fire Department is now accepting applications for the 7th Annual Citizens’ Fire Academy, which will take place March 28 – May 21, 2013 at the department’s training center on Century Court. Because the academy fills up quickly, those interested are encouraged to apply no later than February 7, 2013. This free, educational program provides participants with hands-on experience in fire department operations. In addition to the course finale where students fight a real fire at the department’s training center burn tower, they ride along on real fire calls and inspections, learn CPR, perform vehicle extrication and search and rescue operations, operate hose lines and other firefighting equipment and ride in a platform at the top of a ladder truck. Participants must live or work in the City of Franklin, be at least 21 years of age, and commit to attending seven of the eight classes. The group meets on Thursday evenings from 6 – 9 p.m.
To apply, please visit the Franklin Fire Department’s website at www.franklintn.gov/fire. For more information call (615) 791-3270 or email Engineer Richard Hasley, coordinator and 13-year FFD veteran, at richardh@ franklin.gov.com.
Franklin Fire Department offers free CPR classes in honor of American Heart Month Would you know what to do if your baby was choking or if a loved one had a heart attack? In honor of American Heart Month, the Franklin Fire Department invites you to learn how to save a life, by taking a free CPR class.
Every Sunday afternoon, beginning February 10, Franklin Firefighters who are certified American Heart Association (AHA) instructors will teach adult Hands-Only® CPR, child CPR with breaths, adult and child AED use, infant CPR and relief of choking in an adult, child or infant. Each complete class will take place at Franklin Police Headquarters, 900 Columbia Ave., from 1:30 – 4:30 p.m. on February 10, February 17 and February 24. Participants must register in advance online at www.FranklinTN.gov/Fire The courses will be non-credentialed, meaning no course card will be awarded upon completion. Those who need to be credentialed as a lay responder should take a Heartsaver® course instead of this one. According to the AHA, 70 percent of Americans may feel helpless to act during a cardiac emergency because they either do not know how to administer CPR or their training has significantly lapsed. This statistic could hit close to home, because AHA says home is where 88 percent of cardiac arrests occur. Put very simply, the life you save with CPR is mostly likely to be someone you love.
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fieldstonemagazine.com
Love is a Verb
by Brian Bachochin - Tenbury Wells
Some say it’s all we need. It’s been called a “manysplendored thing.” Who would deny that this crazy little thing called love has been the source of more inspiration (and exasperation) than any other human emotion? Singers have forever crooned about it, poets and bards have tried their hand at articulating it, and nations have even gone to war over it. Yet, in spite of the grandeur of so many endeavors and expressions performed in the name of Love, for many, this chief of emotions never grows beyond the emotional level and remains, at best, only a feeling. And while early on, feelings and emotions can fuel so much, eventually relationships can run out of steam when emotions cool, and feelings begin to change. And when a love that is rooted only in emotion begins to die, it can become a manysplintered thing – far from what it could have been; far from what it was intended to be. A story is told of an old, married couple, Ma and Pa, who found themselves winding down one evening in their respective easy chairs, when Ma turned to Pa rather suddenly and asked, “Pa, why is it that you never tell me that you love me?” Pa thought about it for a moment and replied, “Ma, I told you that I loved you when we got married. If anything changes, I’ll let you know.” I hope that’s not how it is in your relationship! This May, my wife and I will celebrate our 19th year together. I won’t pretend that we’ve been married for 60 years, but, thankfully, we have learned a few things along the way in our journey together. I don’t think of myself as any kind of expert, but it seems to me that love is not so much a thing to be possessed, but rather a lifestyle to be lived, based on a choice that is made. In other words, love is a verb. To draw from a well-known source, love is, among other things, patient, kind, protective, trusting, hopeful, enduring and unfailing (1 Cor. 13); all words that describe something that is active, expressive, giving, and, in most respects, others-centered. Love is something
that, while wonderful to be spoken of, doesn’t rely upon words in order to be known. I don’t hesitate to point to the Lord as the great example of this – of love in action. He is the incarnation of the God who “so loved the world that He gave...” I find it fascinating that of all that is written of Jesus in the New Testament, we have no record of His having told His disciples that He loved them. I don’t know that He didn’t at some point, but noticeably absent in Scripture is any scene where He meets with His closest followers to say, ”Mathew, I love you. John, I love you. Peter, I love you. Judas, well...” Nevertheless, among his parting admonitions, Jesus could encourage them to love one another as He had loved them (John 13:34). Whether He ever actually told them straightforwardly or not, clearly Jesus had demonstrated His love for them to the extent that they were fully aware of it, and now had a model to employ in their own relationships. Now that might sound a little academic in this season of flowers, candy and romance, but I wonder if it really is. After all, real love isn’t confined to the emotion of a moment. Rather, by its others-centered nature, it has the potential to flower into the adventure of a lifetime. Actually, if we loved the way Jesus taught and exampled, there would be far too much love to squeeze into one day a year. If Pa had been like this, Ma wouldn’t have had to ask! We all need love, true love, love that never leaves or forsakes. Love that lasts forever. We need God’s love. (Yet it still couldn’t hurt to bring home some flowers and candy!) Brian Bachochin is Pastor of Calvary Chapel Franklin, which meets Sunday mornings at 10:00am at the Fieldstone Club. Brian, his wife Julie and their daughter Nina have lived in Fieldstone Farms since 2007. You can follow Brian on twitter @brianbachochin, and listen to his verse-by-verse Bible studies on Calvary’s website: www.CalvaryChapelFranklin.com.
February 2013
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Confessions of an ADHD Humor Writer
by Fanny Fieldstone
It’s not as easy as it looks to just up and write a humor column. Even when you’re as naturally funny as I am. I spend hours upon hours involved in a really intense creative process to come up with hilarious ideas for this column. It goes a little bit like this: Me: Hey, Little Pumpkin Pie (my boyfriend, for those of you who missed my first column), I’m late on my deadline again and need to write a column. What should it be about? LPP: I dunno.
Because I’m KIDDING! HA! It’s not the school’s fault your kid is a drone – it’s yours! Now pry their little fingers off the video game controller and get your kids square dancing like a good parent should. Btw – when I write my columns, I crack myself up. I literally sit here and laugh at my own jokes. Sometimes, I’ll go back after writing and read them over and over again and just cannot get over how truly waggish I am! (Thesaurus again. I could have also used the word “jocular” but the whole Lance Armstrong doping thing makes me think it carries a negative connotation.) Where was I? Ah yes, staring out the window. I believe the thematic tone for the magazine this month is “Love Thy Neighbor.” I believe I will stare lovingly. Happy Valentine’s Day! Fanny Fieldstone lives in The Reserve. Or is it Trent Park? Park Trent? Clark Kent? Confused? So is Fanny. Did you know there are 26 subdivisions? I live in Glen Parks Oaks Hall or something. I don’t know. I mean SHE lives there. And SHE doesn’t know. Never mind. You can reach her at fannyfieldstone@gmail.com.
Me: (stares out the window) I rely on this comprehensive creative process each month to deliver you the most sidesplitting, uproarious, comical narrative I can! [Thank you, Word Thesaurus, for helping me find matches for “funniest.” And how truly amusing that it makes my writing sound much like a 1920’s actress, which I kind of am anyway (no I’m not).] It is my personal goal to make you laugh loud enough while reading this magazine that your kids overhear you and tell you to be quiet because you’re interrupting a rousing game of Minecraft. Speaking of Minecraft, I think it’s wrong that our school lets kids play video games on rainy-day indoor recess. Don’t teachers know that I am able to justify letting my kids play 2,983,748,270 hours of video games on Saturdays and Sundays (and Mon. – Fri.) by reasoning that they don’t play video games while at school? Indoor recess should be just like we had it in the old days. Where kids were trapped in the gym and relegated to fun, current activities like hula hooping, square dancing and talking about how utterly boring indoor recess truly is. Back then, we complained FACE TO FACE – not over text messages or email! This – moms and dads – is how you build character! One day our children will grow up and be character-less all because the school let them play Minecraft during indoor recess! Why is everything I am supposed to be responsible for the school’s fault??
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fieldstonemagazine.com
The Fieldstone View
with Maria Dinoia - Wheaton Hall
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Besides Valentine’s Day, February has a host of occasions that call for a celebration (ie. Groundhog Day, Mardi Gras, President’s Day, Super Bowl Sunday, the Oscars, Chinese New Year). What’s your favorite thing to celebrate this month?
February is a great month and my favorite thing to celebrate is my oldest daughter Audrey’s birthday. This year she’s turning 18 and I can’t believe it. Time flies when you’re having fun! – Margaret Crawford
Probably the Super Bowl and then the Oscars. – Mindi Clayton
My birthday! Followed by the Super Bowl because of the delicious array of food that we always make – Kristen Melichar
I’m hoping we can celebrate a snow day this February so the kids can go sledding! – Jen Hasan
Maria Dinoia is a freelance writer who currently writes for Country Weekly magazine and whose word eloquence has appeared in dozens of newspapers, magazines and websites. She happily resides in Fieldstone Farms with her hard-working husband and three adoring children.
February 2013
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Help Me, Rhonda!!! An Advice Column for Fieldstone Farms
Dear Rhonda,
I’m an avid reader (two to three books a month) and I would like to start a book club in Fieldstone Farms. Any advice?
- I Love Reading Dear I Love Reading,
There currently is an “official” Fieldstone Farms book club. They always meet the second Tuesday of the month at 1:30 p.m. at the clubhouse. The February 12th discussion is on Firestorm at Peshtigo by Denise Gess and William Lutz. The selected book for March 12th is Requiem by Francis Itani (historical fiction), regarding Japanese internment in the United States during World War II. For more information, you can contact Shirley Fette at shirley3799@att.net. If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, I would see if any of your neighbors would be interested in starting a book club. You could also start a discussion board topic on the Fieldstone Farms or Fieldstone magazine website. It just takes a few friends, a book and voilà, a book club is born!
Dear Rhonda,
Valentine’s Day is always a crazy day to try to go out to dinner with your valentine. Do you have any ideas for alternative ways to celebrate?
- Stumped in Trent Park Dear Stumped in Trent Park,
I agree! In fact, I prefer to have a cozy, romantic dinner with my valentine at home. I would recommend having a sitter take the kids to a movie and surprise your valentine with a candlelight dinner. One of my favorite dinners is Steak Diane. You get to light it on fire and your valentine will marvel at your mad culinary skills. This Gordon Ramsay recipe, found on epicurious.com, is relatively simple and has great flavor:
Steak Diane 4 small sirloin steaks, approx. 7 ounces ea. 3 shallots, peeled 4 ounces crimini mushrooms, cleaned (if crimini is unavailable, use button instead) 1 tablespoon salted butter 1 garlic clove, peeled 1 to 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce, to taste
Happy Reading!
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
Dear Rhonda,
1 cup heavy cream
1/3 cup brandy or cognac
My husband is always so pushy about having his mother come stay with us for extended periods of time. While she’s very sweet, I am resentful that it becomes my job to entertain her and keep her busy while he’s working. I’ve tried discussing this with him, but he’s VERY defensive about it. How do I make him understand? He says it’s “my job”!!!!!!
- Frustrated in Franklin Dear Frustrated in Franklin,
Can’t say I blame you. I think the “it’s your job” nonsense automatically puts you on the defensive. I say, take a few deep breaths and approach with caution. “They” say you should never bad-mouth your spouse’s parents... hard as that may be. Your beef isn’t really with your mother-inlaw, but with her son. You need to plan a night that you can sit down and discuss your frustrations diplomatically. You need to come up with terms that are fair to both parties. Perhaps he can arrange to take some time off from work while she’s in town. It is all about compromise and you both need to meet in the middle. Best of Luck! Got a question? Contact Rhonda at askrhonda@live.com or to submit a question anonymously visit: askrhonda.us.
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Small handful of flat-leaf parsley Using a rolling pin, roll out the steaks to flatten and cut off any excess fat. Season the steaks on both sides with salt and pepper. Heat a little olive oil in a skillet pan large enough to accommodate the 4 steaks in one layer. Quickly sauté the steaks for up to 1 minute on each side, then remove from the pan and set aside to rest. To make the sauce for the steaks, heat some olive oil in a separate pan. Slice the shallots and add to the pan. Allow shallots to soften briefly before slicing and adding the mushrooms with a tablespoon of butter. Crush in the garlic using a garlic press. Add the Worcestershire sauce, then the mustard and heat through for a minute. Turn up the heat and tilt the pan away from you. Pour the brandy into the far end and allow it to ignite – don’t let the flame singe your eyebrows! Once the alcohol has burnt off, swirl the juices around the pan. Add the cream and allow the sauce to thicken before turning down the heat. Put the steaks back into the pan and cook a little further depending on how well done you would like them. Chop the parsley and add half to the pan. Arrange the steaks on a plate and spoon the sauce on top. Sprinkle with the remaining parsley. Serve with your favorite sides.
fieldstonemagazine.com
A Love Letter to Sage Advice For more than four decades, Pauline Friedman Phillips, a.k.a. Dear Abby, doled out witty, poignant and, often times, hilarious advice. She was an activist for women’s rights and AIDS research. Her little “hobby,” as she referred to it, was honest, clever and wildly successful. Pauline passed away on Wednesday, January 16, at the age of 94 after a long battle with Alzheimer’s. We’d like to honor her by reprinting a few of our favorite questions and responses from her column that could all fall under the heading of love and romance.
Dear Abby,
I know boys will be boys, but my “boy” is 73 and he’s still chasing women. Any suggestions?
- Annie Dear Annie,
Don’t worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn’t know what to do with it.
Dear Abby,
I’ve been going steady with this man for six years. We see each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but he never mentions marriage. Do you think he’s going out with me just for what he can get?
- Gertie Dear Gertie,
Dear Abby,
I am 44 years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits.
I don’t know. What’s he getting?
Dear Abby,
My boyfriend is going to be 20 years old next month. I’d like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he’d like?
- Rose Dear Rose,
So would I.
- Carol Dear Carol,
Dear Abby,
Dear Abby,
- Bess Dear Bess,
What’s the difference between a wife and a mistress?
Never mind what he’d like. Give him a tie.
Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time?
- Jake Jake,
Night and day.
Thank you, Dear Abby. You were a breath of fresh air.
Yes, and also hazardous.
February 2013
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The Origin of Valentine’s Day
by Peter Alderman - Wexford
During the period of the Roman Empire’s pinnacle, there was a time of celebration to honor the God of Fertility. It was called the Lupercian Festival, and it was the time when young men would have the opportunity to choose a mate. This festival was popular among many, but not Emperor Claudius. He was concerned that, due to their reluctance to leave their wives and family behind, men would not fulfill their obligation to fight in the wars to protect and expand the Empire. (Although, I bet there were a few guys who would rather choose battle.) As this festival encouraged the act of finding a mate, Claudius decided to outlaw marriage, but young people were not deterred. They found an ally in the Catholic Bishop Valentine, who would secretly conduct marriage ceremonies in direct conflict with Claudius’ decree forbidding it. Valentine was caught and sentenced to death. While he was in jail, he began exchanging letters with the guard’s daughter. Valentine wrote one last letter the day he was to be executed which was signed, “From your Valentine.” When Christianity enveloped Rome in 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius made the pagan Lupercian Festival illegal. However, the Festival was hugely popular and to eliminate the event entirely would cause great displeasure among the populous. Pope Gelasius decided to adopt a day in February dedicated to the memory of St. Valentine. The church has not recognized St. Valentine’s Day since 1969, but it is still celebrated throughout the world as I pen this document. The exchange of cards on Valentine’s Day is thought to have originated from the passing of letters from the jailer’s daughter and Valentine. Another belief is that, since Valentine was so popular, many children would pass notes to him while he was in jail and even after his passing left notes in his abandoned cell. Another story emerged from London, where an imprisoned French Count sent his wife a series of emotional poems in February. (This guy made all us other dudes look bad.) The first mass produced cards in America were developed in the 1870’s by a 19-year-old girl, who gathered her brother and three friends together, started writing cards by hand and selling them. By the end of the decade, she was making $100,000 a year. In the beginning of the 1900’s, a Valentine’s Day card known as the “Penny Dreadful” came into existence. The name pretty much describes the cards with uncanny accuracy. They cost a penny and were dreadful, as they were disparaging to teachers, elderly folks and anyone who was chosen to be a target of an insult. Not only were they crudely made, but the poems and artwork left much to be desired. Even with that, they were widely popular thanks to their low cost.
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Soon, the symbols of Valentine’s Day became instantly recognized trademarks. The Goddess of Love, Venus, held the rose sacred. Thus, the rose became the flower most closely associated with the holiday. Doves and lovebirds mate for life and were thought to select their mate in the middle of February, which easily associated them with Valentine’s Day, as well. The heart, which is probably the most prominent symbol of Valentine’s Day, was believed to be the center of emotion. And then there is Cupid, the Roman God and symbol of passionate love. As the son of Venus, the Goddess of Love, Cupid had fallen in love with Psyche, a mortal. Venus was not pleased, so she designed a scheme to tempt Psyche into looking into a “box of beauty,” which caused Psyche to fall into a deep slumber. Cupid’s love was so powerful, however, that he was able to pull the sleep back from her and slip it back in the box. He then shot an arrow into her heart and she awakened from her deep sleep. Other customs deserve a look. In the 1700’s, women would jot down names of men on paper (not in binders) and roll them up inside tiny balls of clay. They tossed the balls into water, and the first paper that popped to the surface was the name of the woman’s true love. In Denmark, pressed white flowers are given as a sign of affection. One popular belief of old held that if a woman went to a graveyard and recited specific chants, she would see a vision of her true love. Another held that if a woman sat by her window on Valentine’s Day, she would marry the first available man that walked by her window. (So parents of daughters, nail your windows shut.) I’m happy to say that my wife, Pam, and I are fortunate to have been married for 44 years. She is my true love, my friend and a pillar of strength, but just in case, I’m going nail the windows shut this Valentine’s Day anyway. Happy Valentine’s Day to you all and give your Valentine a big hug. A multi-award-winning educator of nearly 40 years, Peter Alderman has taught more than 2,000 children during his career. He is currently writing several historically themed children’s books, presenting writing workshops to elementary and middle school students.
fieldstonemagazine.com
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February 2013
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