Scope Issue 26 Week 6 Sem 122 by Bond University Student Association

Issue 26

Week 6 Sem 122

scope Scope is proudly brought to you by BUSA and a dedicated group of student volunteers. Scope: By STUDENTS for STUDENTS

PUBLICATIONS DIRECTOR EDITOR IN CHIEF GRAPHIC DESIGNER Jorja-Lee Wallace FEATURES EDITOR | Bonnie Whitehead SUB-EDITOR | Kyle Manning SUB-EDITOR | Caroline Stanley

SPORT EDITOR | Rebecca Thompson SUB-EDITOR | Linda Woelk PHOTOGRAPHERS Jona Villanueva Shaun Rotman Mitchell Willocks ADVERTISING MANAGER Monique Seivers

DEADLINES Space Reservation: Sunday 4pm Completed content: Monday 4pm CONTACT Editor: jorja-lee.wallace@student.bond. edu.au General: scope.bond@gmail.com Phone: (07) 5595 4009

The views and opinions expressed in Scope do not necessarily represent those of the Scope team, the Publications Director or BUSA. www.facebook.com/scope.bond www.bondstudents.com

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 CONTENTS

CONTENTS

MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS EDITOR | Emily McGregor SUB-EDITOR | Jonathan Dodd

3. FROM THE DESK OF 4. THE GREAT MEAT DEBATE 5. RELATIONSHIPS ON CAMPUS 6. PHYSICAL RESULTS 7. HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS (AND NOT A SANDWICH) 8. ALLOW ME TO PLAY YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE 9. DOUBLE CROSS - BEN MACINTYRE 10. DANCE - A - THON

11. KUNUNURRA PROJECT 2012 12. THE JUSTICE LEAGUE 14. THE ASSOCIATES 16. PHOTOS 20. POSTERS 22. MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS 24. SPORT 26. BONDY BANTER 28. OF THE WEEK 30. POSTERS 32. WHAT’S ON / CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

FROM THE DESK OF THE EDITOR WORDS | Jorja Wallace

eek 4 was host to the PGSA’s first ever ‘OverGrad’, and it can be said that it was a complete success from beginning to end! This week-long celebration showed all Bondies a side of the PGSA that hasn’t been seen before. Tailored specifically to PostGraduate and Mature Age students, but still open to the rest of the Bond community, the week was filled with style and class. The gourmet University Club breakfast with guest speaker Dr. Soheil Abedian, founder of the Sunland Group, was just the kick-off. Following this was OverDrive at Wednesday By The Water, where students could enjoy the Red Bull DJ, a Post-Graduate by-pass line, gourmet burgers, and free Red Bull. The next day a serious Speech Competition took place, with the audience not only enjoying witty banter, but also free snacks and drinks. Three judges awarded the winner, Jonathan Holtby, $1000 in cash; and the runner-up, William Demers, $600 worth of Accor vouchers. To celebrate the winners, and all Post-Grads, Don’s was taken back in time by the PGSA to the days

of Sinatra flair, and black and white movies. With a live Jazz ensemble, chocolate cigars, and a photo booth - Cougars and Cradle-Robbers drew more Post-Graduates to Don’s than ever before. Shades of Grey, a cocktail event at the unique Atrium area of the Sustainable Development Building, was a great opportunity for around one hundred Post-Grads to enjoy each other’s company one more time in style. This week we will be hosting a Family BBQ to unofficially close OverGrad. If you have any feedback, good or bad, feel free to email me at pgsa@bond.edu.au.

THE POST-GRADUATE LIAISON

WORDS | Thinesh Thillai

rying to function on little sleep is definitely an uphill battle. The tasks you actually have to do are bloody tedious, and entertaining alternatives always seem to present themselves at the most appropriate (or is it inappropriate) times. Sometimes those weekly tasks have to take a back-seat and you have to let your hair down, just a little. What I’m trying to get at is, Scope’s late. Sooooo. Yep. You can trace the image by the dots. One of the first signs of sleep deprivation has got to be the serious loss of common sense and logical thought. You always think you’re friggin’ hilarious, and every waffling piece of crap that comes out of your mouth is majorly LOL-worthy (after a good night’s sleep it’s really not). Nevertheless, it always seems to entertain those around you; and hey, who doesn’t want to be the centre of attention. With exams and assignments looming, the fog of sleep-deprived-crazy is about to engulf Bond. If you’re lucky enough to have no exams, no assignments and thriving social life, you’re probably wondering what drugs 80 per cent of the campus are on, and how you can get your hands on them. Easy - try sleeping a total of six hours during a period of approximately 56 hours. Fun times. Sleep is for the dead anyway. This week’s Scope ticks all the boxes - inappropriate, but hilarious, references (pg.4); something that makes reference to sex (pg.5); post-event wrap-ups (pg.6); quirky recipes (pg.7); and the ever anticipated preceding week’s photos (pg.16). Don’t forget to check out the LSA tickets (pgs.12-15), and cast your vote tomorrow. Remember, you don’t have a licence to whinge if you weren’t part of the process. Until next week,

JW SCOPE | ISSUE 26 COLUMNS

THE VEGO VS MEAT-EATER THE DEBATE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A GREAT HOT TOPIC - WHICH SIDE ARE

MEAT DEBATE

YOU ON?

few weeks ago, we came to the realisation that without meat, life would be quite depressing. Having a meal each night that comprises of no ‘meat and three veg’ would be a bit disheartening. Don’t get us wrong, we love animals - they taste so good. However, we decided to try our hand at this life without meat. After a couple of hours last Tuesday eating only Darrel’s entrée special of calamari and chips, we decided to give up on this ridiculous idea. We came to the conclusion: what girl doesn’t mind a bit of meat in her taco? It’s not a party with just lettuce and salsa. But before we get going on the sexual innuendo… Practically, if we stopped eating meat, then going to Bond Café would be about as useful as a cock flavoured lollipop/skin coloured dildo/Joe McLachlan on a treadmill. The menu there is already lacking, and to halve it isn’t going to help residents. As sure as Jessica Watson masturbated on her round-the-world sailing trip, meat provides us with essentials. The loss of minerals and vitamins that are pretty important (we think) that all come from meat (calcium, iron, protein and stuff), will be nothing but trouble for your nightly activities. Becoming a vegetarian will make you tired, and therefore no 4am raves in a booth at Shooters. You’ll just have to be one of those creepy old guys that sit in a chair at Showgirls, too tired and old to get (it) up. The only protein you’ll be getting is from a pearl necklace (urban dictionary that). Vegetarians need meat eaters to survive as much as Bondies need alcohol to have a good time. If everybody were vegetarian, there would be no need to farm animals and all the farmland would be used for vegetables. This poses a big issue: there would be no fertiliser. Vegetarians rely on meat eaters to grow their food, without us their world would not be sustainable. And let’s not bring up the fact vegetarians wouldn’t have anyone to seek attention from. After pondering these thoughts we found no reason to forgo our daily dose of butchered up pieces of blood drenched flesh. Our flagrant lifestyle is way too tasty to abandon, not to mention all those health benefits provided by that guy who once starred in the Jurassic Park films.

CARNIVORES

WORDS | Matthew Boyce and Max Davies

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 FEATURES

HERBIVORES I

WORDS | Paris Faint

n this article I’m planning to sum up what it’s like to be a life-long vegetarian. The perks, the downsides, the FAQ’s and just generally the things that I like to ingest instead of animals (if you’re planning on giving vegetarianism a go anytime soon). So, I’m one of those vego’s who, if I were also a wizard, you would call a pure-blood. The reason for that is because I’ve never had meat before! Yep, go ahead and ask me what chicken tastes like. My smart-arse answer is usually, “I don’t know, but everything tastes like tofu, wink wink!” At which point you have my permission to slap me hard upside the face. But seriously, a usual comment I get from people when I tell them this is, “If you don’t eat meat at all and have never eaten it before, then what do you eat?” Well, apart from the classic tofu block, there’s tons of cool stuff that I eat that I probably otherwise wouldn’t have if I were a meat-eater. It’s the biggest perk of being a vegetarian in my eyes: eating exotic (or at least exotic sounding) stuff everyday. There’s a lot of incredibly tasty Middle Eastern and Indian foods that are vegetarian, partly because there are religious practices in both the Muslim and Hindu faiths that restrict the consumption of certain meats. Chickpeas, nuts and spices are common ingredients in Middle Eastern and Indian cooking, giving whatever vegetable or other vego-protein source you’re eating a different flavour every time you make it; and that’s why it tastes UH-MAY-ZING! Also, the amount of tasty sauces and marinades that exist in the world are more than enough ten times over to enable even the blandest blocks of tofu to give you a mouth-gasm every time you ingest. Even though there’s some cool flavour perks about being a vegetarian, I have to admit the downside to being vego is what I like to call ‘scent-envy’. Too many times have I walked into my meat-eating father’s house while he’s making bacon, or meat-lovers pizza, or some other general barbecued awesomeness, and the wafting scent of the cooking hits me like a boss; and I just have to stand there, smell whatever he’s making, and know that my tongue can never cash the cheques that my nostrils are writing. So, even though there are perks and downsides to being a vegetarian, it’s a lifestyle choice that I’m never going to change because I like the way I feel when I eat alternatives to meat; and don’t worry guys, I’m a terrible soap-boxer so I’m going to save you the whole ‘save our planet, go vego’ speech. Instead, I’ll just wrap up with a suggestion to give vegetarianism a go, just because it’s something different and you might surprise yourself!

RELATIONSHIPS ON CAMPUS R

elationships on campus are a curious thing. Some say this is due to the close proximity and the raging hormones of young adults cooped up in residence, subject to the inescapability of the ‘Bond Bubble’. Whether you reside in the AC, the Towers or the ghetto of the Blocks, the scandalous behaviour of our fellow Bondies is inescapable. Nevertheless, there are many different classifications of a relationship on campus. The One Night Stand A common university trend, the ‘one night stand’ tends to be the result of unforeseen and/or alcohol induced circumstances. For those not lucky enough to reside in the ghetto, aka the Blocks, the walk of shame becomes particularly amusing for those who have a window view - an easy way to keep up with the campus goss. For some, the one night stand can be a strategic move. If one plays their cards right, they can move from the slums of the Blocks to the luxury of the Towers; even for just a night. However, be warned: for those in the AC, a roommate can become somewhat of a problem when trying to conduct a one night stand… The Best Friend Sleepover Due to the brother-sister familiarity that tends to develop between certain close friends within residences, some of these people take advantage of the close proximity of the male/female corridors on campus. For those lonely boys who are craving their mother’s love, a best friend tends to be the next best thing. This pair can quite often be found snuggling in a different corridor, creat-

ing suspicion from many around. This tends to start rumors, which can be hard to put an end to, especially when other residents get a hold of them. The Best Friend Hook Up Friendship boundaries, when blurred by that familiar haze of alcoholinduced confidence, tend to be crossed in unfortunate circumstances. Curiosity tends to claim victims of those who put themselves in this vulnerable state, resulting in generally regrettable and confusing times for all involved. Sad to say, the friendship is rarely the same again. Good things never eventuate from this type of relationship. Enough said. The Anticipated Hook Up There are two aspects of the Anticipated Hook Up. The first is pre-hookup-opportunity, and the second is post-hookup-opportunity. To clarify, the pre-hook-upopportunity is between those whom everyone expects will eventually get together. The intention of either party actually involved is rarely relevant. The post-hook-up-opportunity is between those who spend copious amounts of time in close proximity on a night out, but romantic circumstances never eventuate. The next morning, both parties involved become confronted with the incessant question of why they didn’t. Moreover, postings on Facebook of “#thisshouldhavehappened” makes life even more awkward for all involved. The ‘I Don’t Remember’ Relationship Playing ‘remember when’ the next morning becomes particularly awkward when the comment of ‘remember when you kissed

…’ suddenly starts flying around. A lack of recollection of these events makes it hard to defend your honor when confronted with these accusations. An unsaid agreement tends to arise between both parties to either make a joke of the situation, or embrace the eternal awkwardness of pretending it never happened with such actions as avoiding eye contact or any contact at all. Ever. The Ultimate Relationship For those ‘lucky’ enough to have found ‘the one’ at Bond, a very sudden and serious relationship often blossoms. However, this tends to result in boys ‘dogging the lads’ and an all round forfeit of friendships for girls. Unbeknownst (or sometimes conveniently unacknowledged) by the happy couple, left behind are the friends expected to be there when times are tough or convenient. Little do these lovers realise, university (at least initially) isn’t about finding your life partner. It is about cementing those friends who will remain there forever. And having a raging time of course.

AN INTEGRAL PART

OF ANY UNI EXPERIENCE SEEMS TO HOVER AROUND THE ‘R’ WORD; WHICH CATEGORY DO YOU FALL INTO? WORDS | Lucy Harkin

Moreover, postings on Facebook of “#thisshouldhavehappened” makes life even more awkward for all involved.

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PHYSICAL RESULTS WORDS | Mathieu Blake IMAGE | Mitchell Willocks

he build up to The Physical 122 was peaking around campus as the scaffolds, Bobcats and jumbo screens brought on a severe case of pre-party excitement. There was a healthy buzz of party fever on campus, and it seemed that this well constructed event was set to cure the mid-semester blues for many of us. But all medical and construction puns aside, the question must be asked, what were the results of The Physical? It seems to me that the build up to this event was mainly attributed to the title of ‘Best Event’ given to the The Physical 121. Let’s be fair, everyone loves slutty nurses and drunken doctors, but the ‘under construction’ theme meant people had to be a little more creative with their attire. As you passed through the curtain of caution tape at the entrance (a challenge for some, depending on how early their night began), you would’ve been confronted with a sea of high-vis vests, denim short shorts and Bob the Builder-style hard hats and overalls. Although this was the case with most people’s costume choice, there were a few who decided to go all out. I found plenty of amusement in the occasional pair of short shorts stretched across the mid section of a few male participants. There were a couple of lads game

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 FEATURES

DID YOU PASS THE

PHYSICAL? OR IS YOUR HEALTH STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION?

enough to go shirtless, and although this was an outdoor event on a chilly June night, they assured me their suspenders were all the cover they needed. But despite the many creative construction outfits, I couldn’t go past the small contingent of Avengers who graced us with their superhero presence. I spotted Captain America, The Hulk and Iron Man, but unfortunately the skin-tight jumpsuit of Black Widow was nowhere to be seen… although there was a zebra-printed figure trotting around on the dance floor (a compromise I suppose). After admiring the costumes, I needed a drink, a decision that I would soon regret. After battling a mosh pit of keen partygoers for a good 20 minutes, I eventually gave up. I found further justification for this decision in the necessity to pay cash for all drinks, with no hope of using the drink voucher: it seemed it was only valid at the after-party (an outrageous concept for a thirsty fresher like myself). My spirits were quickly lifted as I made my way to the dance floor, which was a crazy blur of fluro colours and a possibly unhealthy amount of smoke. Despite nearly choking several times, I found the smoke machine created an awesome vibe in the absence of any strobes or other party lights.

The periodical spurt of smoke and temporary inability to see the person next to you seemed to enhance the excitement of everyone dancing - a hysteria that was hilarious to watch for anyone not on the dance floor. I found that the designated party area for The Physical was either relatively large, or there were perhaps a few less partygoers than anticipated. Whatever it was, the extra space allowed for plenty of movement, but meant a lack of intimacy you might get from a party in close quarters at Dons. I found myself bouncing from one group to the next, rather than being carried along by the general whim of the crowd. It felt a little too divided for my taste. Much like the floor space, opinions of The Physical seem to vary as well. Some thought it a little less exciting than other events, while others loved everything about it. It just goes to show that costumes, smoke machines, and drink specials aside - the only thing that can really turn a social event into a raging night to remember is the crowd! And for many of us, The Physical 122 will be remembered as one of those nights that provided a healthy break and a good dose of partying for those feeling the strain of mid semester.

HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS (AND NOT A SANDWICH) WORDS & IMAGES | Jaymee Mak

JAYMEE MAK, QUEEN OF

QUIRK, GUIDES US THROUGH MAKING A QUICK, SIMPLE, INEXPENSIVE, AND ADJECTIVEHEAVY DISH.

f it is past midnight when you read this I hope you get hungry. I hope you run to your pantry and realise the sprint was futile, because you are out of mi goreng and you can’t be bothered making anything else; SO THAT when you wake up tomorrow morning and make some scrambled eggs, it is going to be the best friggin’ thing you have ever tasted. INGREDIENTS 1. Buncha eggs 2. Cherry tomatoes 3. Mushyrooms 4. Crusty fancy bread 5. Butter (not to be mistaken for Butters, from South Park) 6. Cheese (I chose Swiss, but feel free to go German, Chinese, Spanish-Thai – this is a multicultural recipe) 7. Cream (If you’re a vego like me, look out for creams with gelatine in them) Grab some fruity tomatoes. Now quarter and slaughter them as though they KILLED ALL THE CATS IN THE WORLD; but then they apologised and bought you chocolate, so you give them a lesser punishment and merely quarter them. Add salt ‘n’ peppa and cook them on medium heat until their blood starts to clot on the bottom of the pan. Divide onto warm plates whilst killing-cooking other ingredients. Slice up some onions whilst wearing all sorts of ridiculous devices to stop you from tearing up. Like goggles designed by Google, chewing gum clinging to your nostrils and Buzz Aldrin’s astronaut suit. Toss the onions and sliced mushrooms into the pan (with oil on medium-high heat). Saute like a Frenchman! In a bowl, beat (in-a-non-abusive manner) a few eggs, salt and pepper, and a dash of cream, UNTIL IT FROTTHHHSS. Pour into a lightly-oiled pan on medium to medium-low heat. When the edges begin to set, push the mixture from the outskirts to the middle, scrapping the bottom. This will look like the folds of your grandma’s chin, giving the ‘scrambled’ effect. THICKLY cut your bread, narrowly avoiding your fingers and a trip to the hospital. Put bread in pan. Slice cheese to fit bread. Do not eat cheese. Yet. Toast. Do you like cheese? Combine all items in inventory. Now FEAST ON YOUR CREATION! SCOPE | ISSUE 26 FEATURES

“

It may not seem much, but all artists need some support and why shouldn’t it be from their local community?

”

ALLOW ME TO PLAY YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE WORDS | Justeen Chan

JUSTEEN CHAN LAYS OUT THE LAW OF MUSIC APPRECIATION AND REVEALS BOND’S UNDERGROUND MUSIC CULTURE.

o you have your fashion snobs, your social snobs, and cultural snobs. Myself, I’m a music snob, not gonna lie. I always have been, partly due to the fact that I have been trained in classical music from a very early age and surrounded by music all my life. Some people say music (and indeed all art) is subjective, that there is no such thing as good or bad music. I couldn’t disagree more. There is definitely bad music and there is absolutely good music. Unfortunately, today’s culture can’t distinguish between the two and I’m afraid some Bondies are guilty of this. I’m not saying that classical music is the only good music – far from it. Heck, I’m currently singing Call Me Maybe on an hourly basis. However, people should know where to draw the line, particularly with the words ‘stupid’ and ‘hoe’ in the title. I mean, since when is it okay to judge inanimate gardening tools based on their intelligence? Too many auto-tuned, tone-deaf ‘performers’ are glorified for their poor mimicry of talent and lack of modesty. This hype ends up overshadowing the true talent

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of unknown artists, who are unknown merely because they look or sound different (or have some standards and refuse to wear skimpy outfits to catch attention). It’s time for a change – time for people to recognise real talent and support good music. There are a lot of ways you can help drive the music industry in the direction of decency, starting with supporting local Bond artists. It may not seem much, but all artists need some support and why shouldn’t it be from their local community? As Bond Uni is much more of an academic university than an artistic one, official support for music is limited and scarce. However, there is an underground music culture here at Bond within the student body – you just have to know where to look for it. Believe it or not, Bond has a Music Room (cue gasp). That’s right, the distant sound of muffled drums isn’t just in your head (well, at least not all the time). The Music Room is open 24/7 if you have access to the Music Room key (an unnecessarily complicated procedure involving the Vice-Chancellor’s Office and Security, but rewarding nonetheless) and everyone is welcome to jam on the instru-

ments and play/sing to their hearts’ content. BUMS (Bond Uni Music Society) has a jam session every Wednesday at 7.30pm ‘til whenever the music stops. We even have a singing jam session every Wednesday 6pm (just before BUMS), and anyone who wants to sing is welcome to join us (Note: anyone who wants to sing. Ability is not strictly necessary). Bond also has its share of bands, from a cappella vocal groups to full rock bands, and everything in between. Most of the bands collect once a semester for the Live ‘N’ Loud event at Don’s – because apparently live music and unhealthy amounts of alcohol are a good mix. Intoxication does seem to bring out the supportive fan within certain people, it must be said. So there’s really nothing stopping you from enjoying, supporting and even participating in real music here at Bond. However, if all of this is just too much effort, you could at least stop blaring crappy music from the Blocks or the AC. It’s called sound pollution for a reason. But if the lyrics make sense and the artist can actually sing, then go ahead and let the music play.

t was with some trepidation that I asked to review this book on double agents in World War II, as ‘military history’ has never been my thing. However, the glowing reviews and an agreed interview with the author, Ben Macintyre, persuaded me that this could only be worthwhile. Macintyre kindly gave half an hour of his time, and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the same engaging tone with which he wrote was apparent in the way he spoke. There was a lot of laughter in our conversation and the time flew. Although jovial, he was quick to correct my mistakes. Double Cross was not ‘military history’ but a non-fiction narrative/mini biography regarding five of the most eccentric and influential double agents and their roles in World War II. Dusko Popov (code name Tricycle), was a Serbian playboy juggling often more than one woman; Jual Pujo (Garbo), a failed Spanish chicken farmer; Elvira de la Fuelte Chaudoir (code named Bronx after a potent cocktail), was a stunning Peruvian bisexual with a taste for the high life; Lily Sergeyev (Treasure), a French Russian agent; and Czerniawski (Brutus), a Polish spy. The first thing that is striking is that there are parts of World War II which verged on comical. The movies we see have justly portrayed the evils of concentration camps, the heroism of double agents (who were risking their lives for honourable principles; namely defeat of the Nazis), and some extraordinary military skill. Macintyre, in focusing on these characters, reveals that perhaps only three of them (Tricyle, Pujo, and Brutus) were actively anti-Nazi, whilst the other two had more dubious motives. Bronx had trouble paying her gambling debts and dressmakers’ expenses, so MI5 used that weakness to recruit her knowing that her access to high-level casinos and social circles would ensure that she was privy to some useful knowledge of German operations. Lily Sergeyev offered to spy for the Nazis in France but was refused, and in high dudgeon went to the English instead. Macintyre theorises that she was simply bored in Paris and wanted some part of the action while there was a war going on. The success of a war can often turn on the smallest of details, and in this case it could be argued that Treasure’s love for her dog, Babs, could have been Britain’s undoing on D-Day. Treasure’s sole source of love was her dog, and when she had to leave the dog behind in Algiers to go to England alone she was assured that Babs

KARTIKA PAN-

WAR REVIEWS A GREAT BOOK THAT ALL BONDIES SHOULD READ.

would soon join her. Quarantine restrictions prevailed however, and after Lily’s constant inquiries about her beloved dog, she was informed that Babs had met with a ‘tragic accident’ and would not be joining her. So great was Treasure’s rage that she almost sabotaged the whole espionage program - but you will have to read the book to see how that happened. Macintyre said that the history of Babs was intriguing, as whilst the rest of the MI5 files are complete and open to scrutiny, the index concerning Babs is missing; indicating that there was some skullduggery regarding Treasure’s dog. Macintyre shared that his readers were divided on the issue of whether the British were right in not paying more attention to the issue of Babs, there was after all a war going on, but dog lovers such as myself know how emotionally attached we are to our dogs; and Babs was Treasure’s only companion, so it’s hard to decide on which side to come down. I know that if my little pug, Pixie, who (sniff) died last year, met with an ‘unforeseen accident’ by the very people for whom I was spying, well I would start thinking vengeful thoughts; but unlike Treasure, would probably refrain from acting on them. At the heart of this enterprise, trying to cajole, manipulate and encourage the best performance from his troupe of actors was Tommy (TAR) Robertson. I loved reading that he had been an outrageously good looking and feckless youth, whose upper class family thought that he would amount to nothing great. However in a great example of cometh the hour cometh the man, Tar Robertson had one great talent - an extraordinarily intuitive ability to read people, see what made them tick, and even to tell if they could be trusted; an essential quality in a man running double agents. Laughing, I told Macintyre that every family seemed to have one Tar Robertson, and at least this black sheep must have redeemed himself in their eyes. Macintyre said that he was surprised, when in an interview with Robertson’s younger brother, it was revealed that the family still were not convinced of Tommy’s positive role in the war; which just confirms what psychologists have told us all along. When families assign roles to us little can change their perception; not even being instrumental in winning a war. The true brilliance of the way Robertson used his spies was that he managed to carve a role for them, which allowed them to convince their German handlers that the Allies were to land at Calais and Norway instead of Normandy. This became ‘Operation

Fortitude’. Until this stage, double agents had simply reported on morale or fed small bits of true but unimportant information to the Germans. Here a systematic and well orchestrated series of deceptions was played out with such consistency and skill, that the Germans were definitely misled and under-prepared for the D-Day landings which were a turning point in the war for the Allies. There are intriguing accounts of James Bond type gadgets - secret inks, transistors concealed in shoes, and an impressive array of ciphers needing to be both invented and decoded. Macintyre’s writing is lively and easy to read, although some of the more cheeky sentences he writes had me groaning aloud. “The idea of using pigeons .. would soon take flight”; “The poultry farmer needed to get all his ducks in a row…” are just two examples. I pulled Macintyre up on it but he was unapologetic, saying that this was how one wrote. When I told him that this was the sort of joke my Dad cracked, he laughed and indicated that his family had the same reaction I did. As the interview concluded I asked him who his favourite spy was. He thought for a second and then said it was Bronx. This surprised me as she played only a peripheral role in the saga, but he felt that she held her own in a period of arrant sexism; and despite being such a hedonist, was amongst the most dedicated of the network. After the war, she led a life of relative anonymity, and it appears this modesty is what appealed to Macintyre. Buy the book and choose your favourite yourself. RATING: 8/10

DOUBLE CROSS BEN MACINTYRE WORDS | Kartika Panwar

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DANCE-A-THON 10

WORDS | Melanie Hayden

LIKE TO SHAKE YOUR TAIL-FEATHER? TEAR UP THE DON’S

D-FLOOR EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT? IF THIS SOUNDS LIKE YOU, READ ON TO FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN BOOGIE FOR 12 HOURS STRAIGHT. FRIDAY 29TH JUNE – 3PM-3AM DON’S - $15 What? Dance-a-thons originated in the 1920s United States, and since this period have developed into highly successful fundraisers, with Penn State University raising over nine million dollars for cancer in 2011 with a 46 hour marathon. This year at Bond the Student Philanthropy Council (SPC) is keeping it simple – teams can register as a group for the 12-hour marathon, and are encouraged to theme their team and create their team outfits (with prizes for best-dressed). Teams can have up to 10 members, and it is compulsory that at least one member of the team is on the dancefloor at any given time. Why? The dance-a-thon is a fun way to raise funds for SPC’s trip to Kununurra (which all students are eligible for), and realise that philanthropy isn’t necessarily limited to a donation without any personal benefit. We’ll also have performers, raffles, and a vast array of music genres throughout the evening to keep you entertained.

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 SPC

Awesome, how do I sign up? Just register online at http:// tiny.cc/spcdance either individually or in your team. There will be a $15 cover charge which is payable to the SPC Shop by Wednesday, February 27. We are also encouraging dancers to raise sponsorship money for the challenge. Proceeds will be donated to Kununurra, and we’re working to ensure expenses are kept to a minimum.

What if I have class on Friday? You’re more than welcome to come afterwards – just do your best to get some of your team there on time.

How else can I help out? 1. Donate: You can donate directly to the cause at the SPC Shop. We’ll have a money tin for all your loose change throughout the next couple of weeks. 2. Bake: We will be needing lots of food and refreshments throughout the evening. If you’re unavailable on the day, we’d love your assistance in making anything from cupcakes to donations of lolly baskets for energy. 3. Sponsor: If you know, or are involved in, a local company that you think would like to help out, email us at spc@bond.edu.au and we’ll do the rest. If you’re affiliated with a particular company that you think would like to donate leftover food at the end of the day, please let us know and we’ll chase it up with you.

Why is it so long? We are working to foster the spirit of philanthropy that is evident in events including Relay for Life. We’ll have ample rest areas scattered around the room, and lots of food and drinks to keep you going.

So we literally just start dancing at 3pm? Sure thing! Arrive at 2.30pm for a briefing, and we’ll kick off with a couple of DJs and a few performing groups to ensure you’re ready to hit the ground running in broad daylight.

I don’t dance. The format of the evening means that no one has to be on the dance floor at all times, but everyone is encouraged to be involved and actively dancing for some portion of the evening. What if I have any further questions? Email spc@bond.edu.au and we’ll ensure your question is answered on the day.

KUNUNURRA PROJECT 2012

WORDS | Alan White IMAGE | Jodi Bewicke

“NEVER DOUBT THAT A SMALL

GROUP OF THOUGHTFUL, COMMITTED CITIZENS CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. INDEED, IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT EVER HAS”.

he act of ‘giving’ can often start in your very own backyard. Think back to the days of your juvenile and teenage years, and take a trip down memory lane; taking note of those who helped you become who you are today. Your family, your friends, a teacher, a sports coach, a boss, a work colleague, or possibly even someone you only met once or twice. These people within your own community have shaped you, developed your skills, emotions, and knowledge; all the while with each of you, myself included, never actually realising the impact those in your own ‘backyard’ can have on your future path. The SPC is about building a culture of affiliation, giving worth to donations of time and money, and most importantly, is about growing your own backyard. In October of 2011, the SPC introduced a social justice component to the notion of ‘philanthropy’ within the Bond community via a joint program with Save The Children, an NGO that focuses on assisting rural and indigenous communities. The program was run mid-semester during the start of October 2011 to accommodate the Western Australian school holidays. The fourteen students were spread between three Indigenous communities of the East Kimberley’s - Kununurra, Wyndham, and Kalumburu - where they ran school holiday programs for the benefit of the children in those communities. The aim of the 2012 trip is to consolidate the work undertaken by the previous Bond team, and to continue our mission of engaging philanthropically with those in the much wider community.

The program will be designed to engage, entertain, and educate the local Indigenous youths, aged 5-17. It will endeavour to bring the children of the community together in a healthy environment, reduce juvenile crime and unsafe behaviours, and promote school attendance and peer emotional support. The basics you should know before applying! • The proposed dates for the 2012 trip are Weeks 4 and 5 of Semester 123 - 30th of September–13th of October. These dates may change within the next week or so, in an attempt to find a time period in which the Bond team will be most effective within the community. • You may be places in a rural community outside of Kunururra with other Bond team members on a rotational basis for a number of days. • While the SPC will endeavour to cover the majority of costs to students through sponsorship and University support, it is envisioned that successful participants will have to contribute roughly $250 towards the trip. • If you have expertise in film production or multimedia and design, we would love to have a chat to you about a special role you might be able to play in the project. • A comprehensive information package on the trip is available through BondSync, the SPC Facebook page, or by request from spc@ bond.edu.au For more information or to contact the SPC regarding the trip please email Alan White at spc@bond. edu.au

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 SPC

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 LSA ELECTIONS

WEEK FIVE

Photographers: Jona Villanueva (pg. 16) | Shaun Rotman (pg. 1718) | Mitchell Willocks (pg. 19)

Events: BASA Presents WBTW: African Sizzles | Thursday Night @ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s | The Physical 122: Construction Party

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 PHOTOS

FEELING BOOKISH? OSCAR WILDE’S THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY WORDS | Paris Faint

o this week I’ve basically lived under a rock. The only time I vacated my cozy, loner under the rock hide-out was to go to work, or to study (wahh). Once these measly tasks were done, I returned to my rock… So instead of writing a painful, half-baked review of something I’ve watched this week through tired eyes, I’m going to review something I already know and love! My favourite book of all time is The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, so this week I’m going to be a good writer and tell you about one of my favourite things in the world with dedication and enthusiasm; rather than tell you about something I just saw out of laziness or habit. The Picture of Dorian Gray is a novel that was written in the last years of the Victorian era, and one of the embodying artworks of the aestheticism movement of which Oscar Wilde himself was a noted figurehead. The story is about an artist named Basil Hallward who becomes infatuated with the looks of Dorian Gray, a youthful and naïve man. Whilst Basil is creating his masterpiece in the form of Dorian’s portrait, one of Basil’s high-society friends, Lord Henry Wotton, tells Dorian that one day his youth, along with his beauty, will vanish; and that when it does, Dorian will no longer have a purpose in the world. Afraid for his youth and beauty, Dorian admits that he would give his soul to forever look as young as his portrait. So as luck would have it, Dorian’s portrait begins to bear the scars of his actions whilst Dorian himself stays forever young. Pretty cool beans right?

So already there’s some gothic and homosexual undertones, what with the male-onmale obsession and the selling of souls thing. But if the cool storyline isn’t enough to get you in on the read, the perfectly pretentious, yet moving one-liners that only the best of Oscar Wilde could afford, are all throughout the book. In Wilde’s biography, An Exquisite Life (which I’m also going to plug, ‘cause you should definitely read it), it was said that the three main characters of the book were the three different facets of Wilde’s own personality: the Cynic, the Artist and the Innocent. Watching them all evolve in the book is really something, and ironically you can see that Wilde has put all of his soul into the words he has written. “All art is at once surface and symbol. Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol do so at their peril... All art is quite useless.” I encourage you all to read this book. Even though it’s an art form, and it’s definitely useless, it’s one of the most genuinely profound pleasures that your inner aesthete will experience. Don’t read between the lines, just appreciate!

MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS 22

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS

GET INVOLVED IN THE MUSIC, ARTS AND REVIEWS SECTION! HOW DO YOU SUBMIT?

JtoustEmilyshootMcGregor an email through at emily.

mcgregor@student.bond.edu.au. You can send through anything from music, book, film and TV, and game review; to photography, poetry, creative writing, and lyrics! DEADLINE: 4pm Monday

VOLCANO CHOIR - UNMAP WORDS | Dylan Hans

ho the hell is Volcano Choir? No idea? Thought so. What about Bon Iver? The indie folk group manned by Justin Vernon has taken the alternative world by storm in the last couple of years, starting with the surprising popularity of ‘Skinny Love’. You all know it, you all love it – don’t deny it! Justin Vernon hails from Wisconsin and sports a massive lumberjack beard, so you just know he’s going to naturally have an amazingly soothing voice. But what happens when the king of folk pairs up with an unknown post-punk MySpace band by the name of ‘Collection of Colonies of Bees’? Volcano Choir. I have no idea who COCOB are, or why Justin Vernon would collaborate with them, but it works. Really, really well. Volcano Choir’s debut album, Unmap, actually dropped back in ‘09, but it is has gone essentially unnoticed. Admittedly, Volcano Choir is not for everyone. Vernon’s tranquil voice is thrown into a mix of electronic and ambient sounds that creates 12 tracks of experimental sounds. Some work amazingly, where as some simply don’t. All in all, it’s an exciting album that deserves a listen at the very least.

nce you’ve witnessed the glory of Men in Black I & II, why in the world would you miss out on number III? I’ll admit the first thought in my head when I sat down was “in for a penny, in for a pound”, as Agent J (Will Smith) came into view, wearing a suit that hadn’t faded despite the 10 years between films. To be brutally honest, not much has changed. Frank the Pug is mysteriously absent, but thankfully his atrocious humour has departed with him. If you thought the genre of space spoof comedy (if that was ever a thing in the first space, I mean place hah) was tired, you were wrong. Men in Black III stands on its own with a tongue-in-cheek, well-thought spin on American history and time travel. Agent K, past (Josh Brolin) and present (Tommy Lee Jones), continues to deliver his dry one-liners as the film broaches just about every theme, paradox and sub-plot associated with time travel and its complexities. In the present, an alien assassin, uninspiringly named Boris (Jemaine Clement), breaks free from a prison cell he had been locked in since 1969 to rewrite history and kill Agent K (talk about character assassination). This has a profound effect on J, who time

The album opener ‘Husks and Shells’ is a perfect example of the truly original sound from Volcano Choir. It blissfully combines Iver-esque vocals with multiple acoustic layers, reminiscent of Bon Iver’s album For Emma, Forever Ago. Shit starts getting crazy after that, as Vernon allows the other-worldly Collection of Colonies of Bees to take control. The postpunk experimentalists chop-up Vernon’s vocals and throw them into a mix of synthesizers and instruments from another dimension. Take a listen to ‘Mbira In The Morass’. The actual track is more fucked up than the name; if that’s even possible. Vernon’s vocals in the track reflect a disturbed Nick Cave – the one who sings about murder ballads through a whiskey-ravaged throat. There are a few tracks of a similar, over-experimental nature. For any Lou Reed fans out there, I think a comparison to ‘Metal Machine Music’ is appropriate, but not in an entirely bad way. At times, Volcano Choir go too far with experimental music to the stage where it becomes downright shit music, no matter how indie you are. Vernon does redeem himself though! There are several tracks on the album that feature classic Bon Iver vocal melodies.

travels back to stop this catastrophic event from happening, clashing with the Moon Launch, saving the day and filling in the Men in Black back-story in the space of 15 minutes. Like every Will Smith movie since the Pursuit of Happiness, there is a poignant reflection on the value of family; but it’s out of place in such a light-hearted film The critical viewer can probably wait for the DVD, but if you’ve seen the two earlier movies it’s worth checking out on a rainy day. But let’s hope the weather stays sunny for your sake. Pros • Clever humour for time travel buffs • It’s Will Smith in yet another sequel movie • Witty social commentary on the 60’s and social progress

He is a powerful instrument in his own capacity. When it’s mixed well with other experimental elements, it gives a fresh twist to a voice that we already love. Jump online now and listen to ‘Island, IS’ to see what I mean. If you like folk or alternative music in general, you will find Unmap to be exciting and fresh at the very worst. With Vernon’s random nature and constant changing of style, who knows if Volcano Choir will make anything more. Either way, Unmap is an important work for any lover of alternative music. Bondies should listen to this album because we all love: 1. Bon Iver 2. Trippin’ 3. Massive beards 4. Massive moustaches 5. Male singers with massive beards and massive moustaches

SCENE IT? BARRY SONNENFELD’S

MEN IN BLACK III WORDS | Brock Gunthorpe

Cons • Pushes American pride to its breaking point • A little on the long side • Not very welcoming to people new to the series 2.5/5 stars

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS

FROM THE SPORTS OFFICE 2012 AUSTRALIAN UNIVERSITY CHAMPIONSHIP SNOW SPORTS

he ‘Australian University Championship - Snow Sports’ is the premier University Snow Sports event in Australia. It provides a great opportunity for students to test their sporting abilities against each other, and represent Bond in intervarsity competition. The AUC – Snow Sports will be held at Mount Buller from 2-6 September 2012 (OWeek, Semester 123). To be eligible to compete in this event, you must be enrolled in Semester 123. There are 13 different events available across the four disciplines of alpine, freestyle, snowboard and cross country: • Alpine – slalom, giant slalom and Super G • Freestyle – moguls, skier cross, slopestyle and rails • Snowboard – giant slalom, boarder cross, slopestyle and rails • Cross Country – individual and team Any students interested in representing Bond at the 2012 AUC Snow Sports can complete an expression of interest form on BondSync https://orgsync.com/39668/forms/ show/45553. Or contact Campus Life. Campus Life Facebook Competition Last week Campus Life announced a competition for all Bond students. We only need 40 more likes until we can give away the very first 2012 Team Bond Polo. All you have to do is go to the Campus Life Facebook page and ‘like’ Campus Life. Here is a sneak peak of the 2012 Team Bond Polo!

RESIDENCE OF ORIGIN WORDS | Alan White

es Wars Week 5 saw the return of an old favourite that has been missing on the calendar for a number of semesters. In fact, not since the infamous KO in Ultimate Frisbee during 112 have we seen Res Wars been held at the Bond Sports Fields. With all the Res teams so evenly matched this semester (10 points separating 1st from 4th), the games of mixed touch were always going to be close. The first round of games pitted the super athletic A Block against their B Block rivals. While the score line stayed at 0 for much of the encounter, it was the superior skills of the A Block boys and girls that pushed ahead in the closing moments of the game; rolling out a solid win over a B Block team still learning the rules of the game. Green Machine were considered strong favourites against the third place AC Red Devils. Surprisingly they were never in with a shot, as AC dominated from start to finish with exceptional skills on display by all on the field securing a fantastic win. Following on from heavey losses, Green Machine and B Block were gunning for their first wins of the night; but alas were locked in a draw with one another until the final siren. The AC secured their place in the final with consecutive commanding wins

win was inevitable for NSW fans last Wednesday night, as another loss would have certainly seen the ultimate knockout blow in front of a home crowd of desperate NSW fans covered in blue and passion. The game had it all - spine tingling moments of brilliance as we saw Greg Inglis pull off his trademark freakish moment in an Origin to save an almost certain try by NSW. Then there were the moments that Queensland fans would rather forget, like Billy whose painful mistakes placed the QLD defense under immense pressure. For NSW’s fans towards the end it seemed like déjà-vu, as relentless attack after attack was directed to NSW’s try line. If it wasn’t for the moment of brilliance of Jennings knockout punch when QLD looked certain to score, this article

over A and B Block, while a tight tussle between A Block and Green Machine saw A Block scrape home for another chance to take on the AC Red Devils. Ultimately, they should have stayed home and been happy with second, as the AC continued their unbeaten run for the night; running out comprehensive winners (in a massive upset) over their more fancied rivals! Congratulations also to the Australian University Games touch team, who in an origin style scratch match managed to flog every Res team they came up against midway through the night! Results: 1st - AC Red Devils 2nd - A Block Pride 3rd - Green Machine 4th - B Block Bandits MVP’s : Helena (AC) and Jake (A Block). This week’s Res Wars game is Basketball, so see you at 5.45pm in the Sports Hall! Don’t forget, 12pm this Thursday in the Gym is On v Off Campus Res Sport – Indoor Soccer! It’s free, there is lunch provided for all and if you live off campus, you get a free team shirt!

would have a totally different heading. But the good news is, it doesn’t. Now once again the series hangs on a Game Three decider, building up to be the biggest in the six-year reign of the maroons. Man of the match may have gone to Greg Bird, but still worth mentioning is the talent of Brett Steward for the NSW team. After all the adversity he has gone through, and painful heartache of hearing those sledges we love to dish out as fans, Wednesday night surely put that to rest for the moment, with his scintillating two try effort to set up the win for NSW. “Bravo Steward”! It’s going to be a series decider on 4 July in Brisbane. This means it is time for all you NSW fans to come out of the closet and support your team!

NSW TAKES IT TO A GAME SERIES DECIDER WORDS | Mitchell Carlson

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 SPORT

SPORT WORDS & IMAGE | Jayde de Bondt

100KM T

raining could never have prepared us for the mental and physical challenge Oxfam’s 100km trailwalk posed to us. Two Bond teams began the 100km hike at 10am Friday the 15th of June; the Bond Bush Bashers (Jayde, Dora, Amy and Steph) and the Bond Bear Cubs (Mariette, Beck, Nikki and Alice), both nervous and excited about the challenge ahead. We had 48-hours to complete the hike, and for 40 of those hours none of us slept. For the first leg of the trek, fondly known as the ‘longhall’, teams had to walk 45kms without seeing their support crews. Majority of this leg was uphill (actually the whole walk was really), and at times we had to walk single file, for fear of slipping and falling back down. At Checkpoint 3 (the 45km mark), we all saw our support crews (Nat, Pat, Tawanda, Alastair and Alice’s parents), who had delicious goods and massage stations ready. At this point it was dark and we began preparing for the night walk ahead. Tired, sore and already eight hours into the walk, both teams struggled to motivate themselves to continue the trek. However, with the encouragement of our support crews we managed to soldier on. From Checkpoint 3 to Checkpoint 5 (where we would next see our support crews), teams had to cross 17 creeks; all of which were up to our thighs. This section of the trail was a rating five; the hardest level of any trail. At 1am in the morning the creeks were bitterly cold, and with no sun, teams could not dry out and were walking in damp clothes. Frost covered our bags and clothes, but thankfully when the sun rose at 6.30am Saturday morning, teams began to have some relief. Checkpoint 5 was the 72km mark, a point all team members were happy to reach. At this mark, all members of both teams had lost at least one toenail, and were struggling to contain the 20-cent sized blisters covering their feet. Although all members had taped their feet and wore the correct footwear, blistering and bruising was inevitable. The last 28km was a blur. The conversations we had at this point of the hike have been forgotten; just the jubilation of finishing remains. Unfortunately not all of the two teams

T o submit to the Sport Section, please contact Rebecca Thompson at rebecca.thompson@student.bond. edu.au

DEADLINE: 4pm Monday

were able to finish the hike. Amy and Steph both had to retire due to strained muscles in their knees, whilst Mariette, Beck, Nikki and Alice retired due to similar joint issues and blisters; finishing the walk in style by riding home in an ambulance. Jayde and Dora completed the 100kms in 33-hours and 40-mins. Although it was disappointing for some of the girls not to be able to finish the hike, it is important to remember they still made it more than half way (80kms). Of the 1,400 people which began the hike on Friday morning, only 44 per cent of teams finished as a group. Those who finished had the satisfaction of knowing they had completed an SAS selection drill and walked, to put it in perspective, the distance from Coolangatta to Brisbane. More importantly both teams raised a total of $2255, which stretches a long way in improving the lives of thousands of poverty stricken people. We would like to thank a few special

people for helping us to get where we are today: Ellen Scobie – for supporting us and helping us fundraise. Pat, Nat, Tawanda and Alastair – for helping the Bond Bush Bashers team, we are indebted to you all. Alice’s parents – the Bond Bear Cubs could not have been more chuffed to have you helping out. The SPC – your sponsorship for a good cause has been astounding. SPAM – the team who got Jayde and Dora over the 100km mark; we are so very grateful. And thank-you to all who have donated. You are still able to donate for the next month if anyone is able to lend a helping hand. Finally, to Alan White, James Graham and their two other team members: train hard, get a support crew, and if you need training partners – we are all here to help!

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 SPORT

Bondy Banter GOOD ADVICE IS HARD TO COME BY... SO HERE’S SOME FRIENDLY TIPS FROM SCOPE

• Missing classes to stay in bed seems like a great idea until Week 13 hits - just get up. • Bad mouthing those that can help you (whether now or in the future) will only come back to bite you in the arse.

MASTER DEBATER TOPIC WEEK 7: SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

250 words maximum. DUE: 4pm Monday, 25 June. Best ‘For’ and ‘Against’ responses will be published.

HOT LSA tickets Law Ball The weather starting to get better Law Week Alex Myers being pimped as ‘catch of the day’ for some lucky student’s date Open age event on Friday DNM’s by the Lake under a blanket at midnight Bondies checking themselves out in the BUSA windows NOT The cover of Scope for this week that has to follow in Boycie’s magnificence The Nights remaining freezing

his is an open letter to secondsemester freshers (SSFs). Dear SSFs, I understand that your first semester at Bond was totally awesome, that you made lots of totally awesome friends, that you went to totally awesome parties and that you have just grown up so much in the couple of months since you were paralytic jailbait in a Surfers’ gutter for Schoolies. However, now that you are a SSF and there are new freshers around does not mean you are anything more than the second lowest in the food chain. There is no need to walk around

campus in your new pair of boat shoes or entirely impractical and unnecessary high heels as if you are some kind of social god(dess). You are not. Get back in your box. There is no need for you to strut around parties with your barely themed costume (read: pants/skirts which are really belts) screaming at every second person you see because you guys were drunk together once, somewhere last semester. You are not friends. Even if you are, no one else cares. Calm yourself SSFs. Calm yourself. Kind regards, The Bond Community

reetings Scope-siders, Gossip-Goat here; your one of many unreliable sources into the realistically dull lives of Bond’s self-proclaimed elite. Avid Gossip Goat readers, you’ve been fooled for too long, ‘Foe’ has seemed to be friend, with secrets forgone. Stay on your side of the bridge, you Billy Goat Gruff, the troll has emerged and the gossip gets rough. At HMSA Construction party one would’ve found, Whitehead initial B, gallivanting round. Site supervisor? Please. She likes pseudopower, ‘hard’ workers to satisfy her any time, any hour.

THE RAGE TRAIN GET OVER YOURSELF

Mid-sems Being told at 3am by Security that you’ve been watched for hours and to move along Immaturity

HOT or NOT

Chicks before dicks, bros before hoes? In this day and age, anything goes. One kissed a girl and did she like it? Stay tuned, or go up and grill her about it. An A Block dweller has been nicknamed ‘Dot’. A strange fetish and wagging tongue he has got. A shout out to Bondies keeping it real; cop shops and hospitals, the regular deal. Have fun, go copulate, it’s natural for hump-day. But a word of warning to you I will say: Trod careful upon my bridge with your shoe, cross me and I’ll be sure to troll-lol-lol-lol you. You know you love me,

XOXO GOSSIP GOAT

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 BONDY BANTER

BOND CLASSIFIEDS Looking to buy or sell something? Want to advertise a room for rent? Need a hot date for the weekend? Then this section is for you! Bond Classifieds is a free service for all Bondies, where you can advertise anything from textbooks to rooms for rent.

n issue that generates much polarised discussion amongst Queenslanders but never becomes an election issue,(1) daylight savings has long been a source of contention for residents of South-East Queensland. Although a onehour difference may not make much difference in theory, in practice it has implications for businesses operating inter-state. Two hours of trading are lost each day, which is particularly noticeable in the border suburbs and in those businesses engaging in trade on financial markets. The fact that two neighbouring cities have different time zones is ridiculous enough, until the arguments against daylight savings are raised: • The cows won’t know when to be milked • The rooster won’t crow at the right time • We can’t afford the power to provide for air conditioning through the extra hour of daylight • The extra sunlight will fade the curtains • We could just get up earlier These are all arguments raised by the luddites opposing daylight savings. Unfortunately they don’t seem to be aware that the day doesn’t

Just send in your ad (maximum 50 words), together with your SID number and contact details to scope.bond@gmail. com DEADLINE: 4pm Monday of the week you wish for your ad to appear.

actually get longer, the apparent sunrise/sunset is just an hour later. And true, we could just all get up an hour earlier; lectures could start at 7, restaurants could stop serving breakfast at 9 and WBTW could be served for morning tea instead of lunch. This would have the same effect as turning the clocks forward an hour, but for practicality and alignment with our other states it is more sensible to pursue a standardised time zone. As for the arguments that we could split the state into two time zones at the Tropic, this does not solve the problem it merely shifts it to another area and another business district to deal with the quandaries. The last time a referendum on the issue was held was in February 1992. Despite a community consultation processes in 2010 which saw 63 oer cent of the more than 74,000 participants in favour of another referendum, the previous government declined to follow the wishes of the public. Perhaps Anna didn’t want her new curtains faded. We can only hope our new government holds a referendum to drag Queensland out of the dark age and into the daylight. (1) With the exception of the unelected DS4SEQ party

An Earth day is not 24

hours long. It’s actually 23h, 56m, 4s which is the time that the planet needs to rotate on its own axis.

DID YOU KNOW... D

MASTER DEBATER

QUEENSLAND SHOULD INTRODUCE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS

aylight savings, or the lack off, seems to be a contentious issue here in Queensland. On the Gold Coast this argument seems to be multiplied due to the proximity to the border. This idea appears to have entered into consciousness because so many people work on the other side of the border, and that daylight savings effects productivity and creates confusion. What an absurd argument, at the risk of actually making a logical argument, I put these three points forward to those of the Gold Coast to help explain why not having daylight savings is a good thing 1. Working in NSW, living in QLD. Unfortunately you buggers have to get up one hour earlier than you normally would; however consider this, you also get off work an hour earlier so you’re at home having a beer when your QLD mates get off work. 2. Working in QLD, living in NSW. You guys get to sleep in an extra hour, stop whinging. 3. People in international business say the lack of daylight savings makes business with the rest of the world harder. The vast majority of the world does not have daylight savings. Countries like China, Indonesia, Russia and India, do not have daylight savings. Not as we do not arbitrarily change our time around, communication is easier. Truth be told I don’t really care either way, as flying into Queensland necessitates me to wind back my watch twenty-years no matter whether the state adopts daylight savings or not.

FOR NICHOLAS RODGERS

AGAINST

DAVID BROWN

WEEKLY WISDOM

“

“I

n three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

Robert Frost

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 BONDY BANTER

PUZZLE P

rofessor Abacus is purchasing a ticket for the Deca Lotto. The lotto number has ten digits, using the numerals 0 through 9, each numeral used once. The clerk asked what number he wanted to pick. Professor Abacus handed the clerk a piece of paper with nine statements, saying “If you can correctly figure out the number, I will give you half of whatever I win.” What is the number? 1) The sum of the first five digits is a prime number. 2) The sum of the last five digits is a triangle number*. 3) The sum of the digits in the odd positions is an odd number. 4) The sum of the middle two digits is a square number. 5) The sum of the middle four digits is a cube number. 6) The difference between the 1st and 10th digits is two. 7) The difference between the 2nd and 9th digits is three. 8) The difference between the 3rd and 8th digits is four. 9) The numeral 4 is somewhere in the first five positions.

YOUTUBE CLIP

* You can form a triangle arrangement by building it in the pattern row 1 = 1, row 2 = 2, row 3 = 3 etc. eg. 10 is a classic triangle number as per ten pin bowling. They are arranged in a triangle 1, 2, 3, 4.

BITCHES AIN’T SHIT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oloFLyel3Is

Answer in Issue 27 of Scope

his one’s pretty self-explanatory. Group of bitches singing about shit. LOL JKS. This Ben Folds cover of Dr. Dre’s ‘Bitches Ain’t Shit’ is incredible. It’s nothing like the original, and the best thing about it is that they seem to know their place. It’s not exactly amp-up,

pre-Don’s music; but whack it on while you’re studying. Saaa soothing. WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH IT It’s actually a sick cover, and you know - bitches really ain’t shit.

Answer to the puzzle in Issue 25: The mark is the letter X in Greek writing, the memory is Read-Only with its M lacking, the royalty mentioned are male in being, the fish is a CERO, its tail O missing. The Greek letter is CHI,former its meaning, ROMAN is a candle,a numeral or a font setting, the city is ROMA, OMAN,the country just reminding, the author is a ROMANCER, romance is his choosing. CHI,RO,MAN, and CER,syllables we’re adding, CHI and ROMANCER, the eleven that were showing, it is now clearer than the future he is telling, that CHIROMANCER is the word and reading the future,his calling.

NATURAL DISASTER

DEMOTIVATIONAL POSTER 28

SCOPE | ISSUE 26 OF THE WEEK

Pandiculation

[pan-dik-yuh-ley-shuhn]

oun 1. The act of stretching and yawning, esp on waking. 2. A yawn. 3. A stretching and stiffening of the trunk and extremities, as when fatigued and drowsy.

from Latin, deriving from the word ‘pandiculatus’, meaning to stretch oneself. Generally this action is performed without conscious thought when one wakes from sleep.

WORD

In a sentence “Stop pandiculating and pay attention.”

Origin As you can probably guess, this word comes

SONG

THINGS BOGANS LIKE http://thingsboganslike.com/

“ctHeoopot. Wgirels’rewjeushtalviek problems t we’re h

“

t is official. Bogan is now a word in the Oxford Dictionary. It is truly a great day for human rights and the recognition of minorities. It is about time that they got a fair shake of the sauce bottle. With the rise of the bogan as a legitimate (by virtue of their numbers) part of Australia culture, it has become important to study these creatures. This blog records the likes of the now-omnipresent bogan. Have some cheap LOLs at the expense of our local friends while undergoing a truly educational experience.

ot. e you; ex-

BLOG

HOT PROBLEMS - DOUBLE TAKE YEAR: 2012

o one’s sure if this is a real attempt at a hit single, or a complete rip on Rebecca Black. They seem legit; which is concerning. Words really can’t describe how terrible this whole thing is - they just need to stop.

WHY YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO IT You shouldn’t because your ears will bleed. Also it’s really catchy. Like, really. If you haven’t already, you can check out the atrocity here - http:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=__ HeE6NWmDE

OF THE WEEK SCOPE | ISSUE 26 OF THE WEEK

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED Got a challenge? Send it to scope.bond@gmail.com

CATCH A BIGGER FISH THAN JAKE RISCHBIETH. Bond Lake is full of jumping fish, and what better way to spend your lazy Thursday afternoon?