Scope Issue 36 Week 5 Sem 123 by Bond University Student Association

Issue 36 Week 5 Sem 123

scope Scope is proudly brought to you by BUSA, SAM and a dedicated group of student volunteers. Scope: By STUDENTS for STUDENTS

PUBLICATIONS DIRECTOR EDITOR IN CHIEF GRAPHIC DESIGNER Jorja-Lee Wallace

MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS EDITOR | Emily McGregor SUB-EDITOR | Jonathan Dodd SPORT EDITOR | Rebecca Thompson PHOTOGRAPHERS Shaun Rotman Stuart McKelvie Jona Villanueva Jorja Wallace ADVERTISING MANAGER Monique Seivers

DEADLINES Space reservation: Sunday 4pm Completed content: Monday 4pm

CONTACT Editor: jorja-lee.wallace@student. bond.edu.au General: scope.bond@gmail.com | studentpublications@bond.edu.au Phone: (07) 5595 4009

SCOPE | ISSUE 36 CONTENTS

CONTENTS

FEATURES EDITOR | Kyle Manning SUB-EDITOR | Jessica Drummer

3. NOW AND THEN 4. EDITOR’S REPORT 6. SCOPE FAREWELLS 8. BUSA FAREWELLS 12. LIVE EXPORT: AUSTRALIA’S HYPOCRISY 14. THE CONTROVERSIAL ARTICLE 15. WOMEN, KNOW YOUR LIMITS 16. A STORY OF TRUTH, BEAUTY, FREEDOM AND LOVE 18. “LOVE IS SIMPLE AND EASY” ... SAID NO ONE, EVER 19. WHY YOU CAN’T OUTSMART STYLE 20. OLD SCHOOL FUN 22. GROWING UP CONFUSED

23. CONFESSIONS OF A (VERY) FREQUENT FLYER 24. PHOTOS 32. POSTERS 34. LOOKING THE PART 36. MY EXCHANGE SEMESTER 38. FROM BOND TO REALITY 39. THE BOND BUCKET LIST 40. TOWARDS BUSA 2.0 41. PROJECT KINDNESS 42. CDC CORK BOARD 43. BLUES AWARDS 44. MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS 46. SPORT 49. BONDY BANTER 50. POSTERS 51. WHAT’S ON

NOW AND THEN:

PARTING WORDS FROM THE PRESIDENT

wo years on BUSA… that’s a grand total of something like 72 committee meetings; 78 Wednesday by the Waters; 15 Scope articles; 10 graduation ceremonies (to sit through but not get a degree); six O-Weeks, Club Sign on Days and sober Pub Crawls; four retreats (from Byron Bay to Noosa to Bella Baldwin’s cotton farm); three AGMs; two elections; and one regrettable Christmas greeting to the Bond student body. Rather than reflect on the past year of BUSA (for those interested, pick up your free Yearbook and read pages 10-11), I thought I’d reflect on my five years at Bond instead. Yes, that’s a total of 15 semesters - 14 of which I spent on-campus between A-Block, the Accommodation Centre and North Tower; and one of which I spent in the Netherlands on exchange, getting around on a bicycle and drinking my fair share of Grolsch and Heineken beer. To put my un-accelerated double degree into context, there’s a few things which have changed since I arrived here as a fresh-faced 18-year-old in 081. When I started, there wasn’t the library extension or the Amphitheatre. There wasn’t the MLC, Alan White, the refurbished Main Library, the medical extension, the law extension, or retirement homes next to the Blocks. When I started, there was 2,000 less students; the Bungalows; a salad and pasta bar where Juicy Bits is now; a rival drinking club to B.A.S.I.C (ACES - the Australian Cultural Education Society); Darryl and Judith still running the Bra, and with a spring in their step; a meal plan where you had ten coupons a week, and

if you had run out by Saturday, you had to beg other students for a meal; an elevated wooden deck outside Don’s, not the Piazza; Havana Nights, not the Physical; Drink the Pub Dry, not Illegally Bond; Whitehouse in a giant marquee on the lawns; and Student Council, not BUSA. So much has changed at Bond in my time here, and yet so much has stayed the same; and for the better. Students still come here each year from all across the country with a burning sense of adventure, with an aim to get involved, to try new things, to strike that Bond balance of working hard and playing harder, and to constantly meet new people and expand their way of thinking. I’ll definitely miss a lot about Bond – the people, the culture and the contagious feeling of getting involved and being active. Thank you to all those who have inspired and changed me during my time at Bond – my friends, my teachers and members of university staff. I was once told that you leave university with much more than a degree – you leave with amazing memories; life lessons that both come easily, and through mistakes; a network of friends which you will have for the rest of your life; a realisation of what matters to you most in life; and a frame of mind which is the result of having tested and tried your convictions, but which is open to the ideas of others and inquisitive about the world around you. Five years at Bond is a long time, and I have learnt a lot –inside the classroom, around the campus and around the world. My studies and friendships at Bond have taken me to the Netherlands, the Philippines, China, the United States, Vietnam, backpacking across Europe, as well as Melbourne, Canberra, Adelaide and Brisbane; and , and everywhere I have gone I have l miss ’l I e s is g Thin parad s, in been an Australian, but also a g e in y ach • Stud oast be . ’t miss e C n Bondie. We will always be o ld w o d I th s rlan the G Thing g a BBQ in a d hinte pu s Bondies, even well after we n in a k s in e e e k f ca • Coo sun every w n-cam an make o ly graduate. So for now it’s not k e c y • We one midda rple polo. d g – no ht and crisp n in goodbye, it’s see you again a u n , t p a e , cle so tig thick assiere buff the ts just leane rs. soon – whenever and r f e B e o l h e s a g e • Th ond c swipin nt squ B a – t e s s h e wherever that may be. n t h o s the c b lunc set a s. rd. lu ca rms uzzer • Uni C n the meal nd a food b Tower fire ala o a n m o . y h s g t t lm r r sa • No bove a ently one pop ta that a t g n r in u b • Liv frequ blocks ime off by r, and 5 exam yt uni ba n the other… • The 1 hrough in m re tha ed dent tt I’ve sa – the record l time mo fantastic stu tudents in s e a d s r n u Th • ith , whe e at Bo re per munity are friends w d ge befo one bit. m a o s c s e r n a m a d e r e y a g t e s y chan their la in their first hasn’t s t . n n e stud etwee ne in b everyo

2008

2009

2010

2011

2012 WORDS | Henry Norris

HENRY NORRIS IS THE OUTGOING BUSA PRESIDENT FOR 2011/2012.

SCOPE | ISSUE 36 FEATURES

THE EDITOR FOR THE VERY LAST TIME... WORDS | Jorja Wallace

he past 48 hours have been an ordeal to say the least. Far be it from me to try and bite off more than I can chew (just ask Mumma Wal or Merg), but you’d think that the universe would’ve given me a mulligan on this one. The last edition of Scope that I will ever complete in the warmth of the BUSA Office, with the assistance of my trust steeds Mac and RICOH, and yet she’s still found a way to surprise me (at least she keeps it exciting, right?). Given the number of times InDesign stormed off in a huff, the spinning wheel of death showed up out of the blue uninvited (more annoying than Adele, let me

SCOPE | ISSUE 36 FEATURES

tell you), and submissions snaked their way into my inbox several hours past due, it’s led me to only one logical conclusion: I’m cursed. There is no other physical explanation for it. After two and a half years of my vocabulary primarily featuring the word ‘Scope’, I’ve learnt that if it can go wrong, it probably will. I safeguard my safeguards, back up like it’s going out of fashion and nothing bar the relevant weekly folder burdens the memory of the Mac. Still, ‘memory space full’ or ‘InDesign quit unexpectedly’. I don’t quit at half-time InDesign! You don’t score, until you score. At least we know Terminator is a load of bull –

you don’t win a war by ‘quitting unexpectedly’. Despite the wringer Scope put me through this week, we’ve got an absolutely cracking edition for you. Why? Because like any good relationship, we ‘work’ through our problems. And, I can say that without a doubt, we’ve finally sorted out our issues; but unlike the love story of Britney Spears and whoever it is this week, there will be no fairy-tale ending for Jorja and Scope. Instead, we’re going through a very public, and rather imminent, break-up. It’s not you, it’s me. You’re amazing; I’m just not ready to be in a relationship right now. You’re too good for me. I’m cheating on you with another publication, and/or being investigated for domestic abuse on [insert name of inanimate printing machine here]… But actually it’s just time for me to GTFO of here (you’re smothering me). So this is what it feels like to be at the end. Who would’ve thought that 12 months could go by so fast? It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was agonising over what logo to choose, what layout complemented that logo and what in the hell I was going to put in my first edition. And now that truckload of stress has been dumped on someone else. Suckkkkerrrr. Jokes, ‘grats Caroline; all the best. You now get to experience the rather unpleasant ‘birthing’ that occurs every Wednesday (you know exactly how I refer to it, and I shan’t state it here for fear of causing a Cronulla-style riot). I hope you find some sort of epidural equivalent to ease the pain. Less than a month ago, I would’ve described the ending of this two and a half year affair as a ‘bloody relief ’ that couldn’t come quick enough (GET IT?). Now, instead of feeling like I’m handing over a screaming baby that doesn’t belong to me (you know, the one that you can’t give back to its mother quick enough), I feel like my ‘boyfriend’ is replacing me for a younger, newer model. I can rage train all I like about the technical difficulties of our final week together, but I have to admit, I’ve had a hand to play in drawing out the last few hours as a couple. Yes, I’ve found it hard to let go. There. Happy? I’m admitting to actually, (a) enjoying the love-

the-way-you-lie-esque relationship, and (b) not wanting to move on. Bear with me. Scope has been a huge part of my life here at Bond. It started as a casual affair with the Scope under the Krishnan regime in 2010. It was the middle of the May semester, and I decided it would be a brilliant idea to write on a topic that not only catapulted me into the shelves of the Bond Rumour Mill, but also inevitably defined the way many Bondies view me even today. From there, my insatiable thirst to be a part of everything and anything Scope grew into the beast that was, ‘Let’s talk about Scope ALL THE TIME, follow Shuba like a stray dog, spend a year asking “How high?” every time Andra said jump, and then run for Publications Director on BUSA’. YEAH. GOOOOOD. Let’s just say, the winners in this situation are my friends, who no longer have to endure lengthy conversations about Scope. Yeah, I’m that guy – the annoying onlyspeak-about-my-relationship-and-nothingelse chick. Despite the above nonsensical rant, I’ll be honest with you – I feel like I’m losing my identity. I don’t remember what I used to do or talk about before Scope. And now it’s over. No longer am I the Scope chick, or controller of your FB DP. So who am I now? What do I do with myself for the last nine weeks of my Bond life? It’s hard not to be nostalgic as I sit here and contemplate the last couple of years of my life. Scope, and BUSA, taught me more about myself than I cared to know, but there’s not a single day where I wish I could unlearn it. I know where my physical limits in terms of functionality on countless hours of sustained wakefulness lie, and I know exactly what buttons to press in order to get the Bond community talking. I’ve learnt how to be adaptable, like a chameleon, and have enough contingency plans to outlast even the apocalypse (nothing will stand in the way of getting this bad boy out). I’ve seen the darkest parts of my makeup (you know, the elements of your personality that you don’t particularly flash about), and have reiterated to my friends and family that yes, I am as stubborn as a mule. You have to take the good times with the

bad, and with that in mind, the last year of my life has been the best to date. Before I give my final Scopetastic spiel about the banquet Issue 36 offers up to those dying of Scope-hunger, I’d like to thank a few people who made this whole experience possible. Firstly, and most importantly, to those that ticked the ballot paper back in September of 2011. If by chance you saw me at Students’ Ball 2011, you’d know that I was a nervous wreck, destined to be devastated if I was not elected. Thankfully, that storm cloud subsided before it had a chance to rain, and I was blessed with enough votes to get me over the line. I wish to sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart. Without your faith, and votes, none of this would have been possible. Secondly, to those that stood by me, even when the rage train was hurtling towards disaster. The last 12 months have truly shown me who my real friends are, and just how lucky I am to have them in my life. The same can be said for my family, who, despite initial concerns, have enjoyed the Scope journey just as much as I have. To all the new friends I made along the way, and all the wonderful people I was fortunate enough to meet, thank you for making me feel like a true Bondy. Thirdly, to my Scope SubCommittee and to the 2011/2012 BUSA – thank you for your support, assistance and ability to weather any hurricane Wednesday morning threw at you. Also, a huge thank you to all the photographers who made Scope vibrant, entertaining and full of the many faces of the Bond community. I won’t point out any individuals, but to those special committee members on both BUSA and Scope – you know who you are – I am eternally grateful

for the experiences we shared over the past 12 months. You made my time on BUSA and Scope what it was. Finally, to every single Bondy who contributed, read or interacted with Scope in some way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’re incredible, and you turned Scope into the magazine it is today. It was an absolute delight to read and design your submissions on a weekly basis, and I hope that you continue to contribute to Scope for 2012/2013, and beyond. And now, for the last time ever... Sup Scopeaholics. I hope you’re as excited for Issue 36 as I am - never has Scope seen so much content before (52 pages - what what). This monster edition truly is Scopetopia, full of everything your heart could possibly desire in one edition of Scope. Whether it’s kissing goodbye to the 2011/2012 BUSA or Scope team (pgs.6-9), catching up on the latest RE the live export trade (pgs.1213), learning how to write a controversial article (pg.14), or catching up with a Bondy abroad (pgs.36-37), this jam-packed edition has something for you! And let’s not forget the much-anticipated Pub Crawl photos, and the ever-entertaining Hall of Shame. With eight pages of socials this week, I hope you find your face in there somewhere (although ten bucks says you’re hoping it’s not pages 26-27). FYI - keep an eye out for your Krish voucher. It’ll help you knock off number seven on page 39. And that’s it from me. For the very last time: Wallace out. Enjoy! xx

JW SCOPE | ISSUE 36 FEATURES

Kyle Manning Features Section Editor

yle has been sub-editing for Scope for the better part of 2012. He finds great joy in telling his own stories, and helping other writers tell theirs in the strongest and most grammatically correct way possible. He intends to pursue a career in replicating his role on Scope in the future. In his free time, Kyle enjoys reading, singing, playing tennis and writing mini-biographies in third person, for no apparent reason. He would like to extend great thanks to Jorja, along with all the other Scope volunteers that he has had the pleasure to work with. He also invites you, kind reader, to check out and follow his picture poetry blog at thisisnotabox.wordpress.com.

Jessica Drummer Features Sub-Editor

PHOTO | Facebook

In loving memory of

Bonnie Rose Whitehead 27/01/1993 - 15/09/2012

onnie served as an integral member of the Scope Sub-Committee, and more specifically, the Features Section, from the beginning of the 2011/2012 committee’s term. She was a reliable, hilarious, dedicated and well-loved team member, who always went above and beyond her weekly duties. Whether it was sourcing an article at the eleventh-hour, or waxing lyrical herself, it was always a pleasure to work with Bonnnie. Her time on the committee will be characterised by her infectious personality and work ethic, as well as the many brilliant pieces that she produced. Examples of her

work include ‘Mature Age Students’ (Issue 6, Week 11, Sem 113), ‘Cam-body-odour’ (Issue 9, Week 1, Sem 121), and ‘The Art of Bullshitting’ (Issue 11, Week 3, Sem 121). The Scope team has definitely missed her presence, input and energy; and would like to formerly acknowledge her outstanding contributions, unyielding dedication, passion, friendship and service to students throughout the past 12 months (in particular, the goannas that were on offer should the editor require). The 2011/2012 Scope Sub-Committee would like to dedicate this, our final edition, to Bonnie.

have thoroughly enjoyed being a part of the Scope team, which has given me the opportunity to meet and get to know a lot about our numerous Bondies. With a year of many interesting, the occasional cheeky, and several humourous pieces of writing, I can only encourage you all to keep contributing to Scope. I would like to thank the Scope team, and a special thank you to our Publications Director, Jorja. Your self-motivation, professionalism and passion for publication editing is truly inspirational. With Scope just four years ago being a four-page newsletter to now a magazine with numerous quality pages and a professional layout, you will definitely be leaving behind an indelible legacy. I wish you every success as you graduate at the end of this year. Congratulations to the incoming Publications Director for 2012/2013, Caroline Stanley. I am looking forward to Scope continuing to grow!

FAREWELL FROM THE 2011/2

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Emily McGregor Music, Arts & Reviews Section Editor

h, it comes the time of year where I must bid the Scope Music, Arts and Reviews section adieu. Although it’s a bitch to find people to review stuff some weeks, it has been an absolute pleasure working in the MAR team and on Scope generally. I have enjoyed reading and rereading through comical, hilarious and whimsical articles. As a quintessential Bond law student, it has honestly been freaking awesome to read something that isn’t covered in dust, 1,000’s of pages long, and actually motivating? Ho-ho-ho!... I should stop. Anyway, I would love to say thank you to a couple of great people that helped me along the way. Oliver Kidd, thank you for teaching me everything I need to know about how to edit, find and write good reviews. Paris Faint and Michelle Gately, you two were the biggest Scope contributors this year. Whilst I couldn’t imagine two more different people (Michelle loves her books, whilst Paris can’t keep her hands off her Xbox), your reviews were well-written, well-researched and insightful - thank you. Jon Dodd, you delicious man, thank you for everything! You have been an excellent subeditor of the MAR section and I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you to Jorja Wallace, who edits the entire Scope magazine. Jorja you have helped connect me to bands for interviewing, you’ve found people to write articles for the MAR section even though you didn’t have to, and you’ve helped teach Jon and I about running a magazine section – you are a fantastic editor and I wish you all the best in your future endeavours. Lastly, but definitely not leastly, I would love to say thank you to everyone who has contributed to the Scope MAR section. We wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for you! Please keep

exploring, writing and reviewing; your work is essential for Bondies to stay in the loop. Some of my absolute favourite articles include: the date reviews in Semester 121, including ‘McDate’ by Vada Sun; the Summer Festival Guide in Semester 113 by MAR; Game of Thrones, Season 1 by Paris Faint; Newsroom by Thomas Blanch; Max Payne 3 by Jon Dodd, sub-editor of MAR; and Olympic Opening Ceremony review by James Cornish.

more of my work (it will be mostly video game-related pulp – self deprecation, folks!). My tenure with Scope sure has rekindled that authorial flame. Objective complete. Thank you again to all who read my work over the past year and enjoyed it. Study hard, drink harder, but most of all, play FTL. Since its launch, I have been enamoured of this space management roguelike. Sold already by that description, huh? For God’s sake though, do not see Taken 2!

Jonathan Dodd Music, Arts & Reviews Sub-Editor

Rebecca Thompson Sport Section Editor

joined the Scope team with the sole purpose of forcing myself to write more. Although my childhood ambitions of becoming a journalist are long behind me, the yen to build on not only my vocabulary, but also a strong portfolio of work that would satisfy my fastidious nature persisted. What I see now are nineteen word documents sitting in my Scope folder that I am proud to have published for you, the readers, to have hopefully enjoyed – highlights being my Max Payne 3, and Drive reviews. It has been an absolute pleasure serving under the leadership of Jorja, Oliver, and eventually Emily. All of them are excellent individuals, and I apologise profusely for being such a pain in the ass at times for my eleventh-hour submissions and eventually placated hubris (thanks for that one, Em). Thanks to everyone that actually read my articles. I realise that my lack of score would have often frustrated readers, potentially vitiating my reviews. I hope though that it forced people to read, letting the strength and content of my work truly gauge how I felt about the material I was critiquing. Post-Scope, I will be reviving my website, jonathandodd.com should you wish to read

his past year on Scope has demonstrated the wide range of sports available to all Bondies at any level, from the fun, but competitive weekly Res Wars, to our own Jade Neilsen competing in the London Olympics. The year has shown me, and hopefully you readers too, some of the more unique sporting events hosted at Bond, such as the Nearly Naked Mile, and some of the outstanding athletes amongst us at Bond, competing in events such as the Urbanathlon, Tough Mudder and the Gold Coast Marathon. Bond hosts several sporting events including AUG and NUG, and internal sporting competitions such as Bus v Law Rugby and USA v ROW Basketball. I would encourage everyone to try any or many of these sporting events. A huge thank you and congratulations to Jorja, who has been an amazing editor in chief. Every week she manages to pull off a great publication, behind which is hours of work, which often goes unnoticed. Finally, a big thank you to everyone who has submitted articles for the Sport Section, especially those who have written one at the very last minute! Special thank you to Hannah West who has written a piece almost every week.

2012 SCOPE SUB-COMMITTEE

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RICOH’S REVENGE

) ^ % ( & % %$^

PHOTO | Jorja Wallace

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1. FUNNIEST MOMENT OR BEST MEMORY FROM YOUR TIME ON BUSA? 2. WHAT WILL YOU MISS THE MOST ABOUT BEING ON BUSA? 3. WHAT WON’T YOU MISS ABOUT BEING ON BUSA? 4. WORDS OF ADVICE FOR THE NEW COMMITTEE AND/OR BONDIES?

HENRY NORRIS THE HOBBIT

1. Realising Landy redefined the term ‘lightweight’ at our first retreat last year, and relishing in all subequent moments of Landy’s excellence after two beers. 2. It being socially acceptable to wear a Cadbury purple shirt, because I’ve been told it brings out the best in my complexion. 3. Negotiating with an inanimate printer to not make noises and jam paper when I need to print off an urgent document. The printer always won. 4. There’s an important lesson in learning when to bite your tongue, and when to speak up. Sometimes it will make all the difference.

CHRIS LAND MONEY BAGS

1. Everything that happened on our first retreat - Trainwreck I’m looking at you. 2. Working with such a talented and committed team. 3. 7am Exec meetings. 4. Go on an exchange, join a sporting team, represent Bond at AUG, enter an academic competition or run a cultural club. Students define Bond - get involved!

YASMIN ZEINAB LADY BONDSTOCK

1. There are too many to share, but a printworthy memory is the rampage of Money Bags and his urge to a buy a bus. 2. The shenanigans of Wednesday night meetings, Thursday nights post-bus loading, delusional long nights in the office, and all the people that made the past 12 months some of the best I have had at Bond. 3. The smell of Wednesday by the Water. 4. Get involved, it will be best thing you ever do.

KIM BROWN

SEXRETARY/MOTHER HEN 1. Providing the Treasurer’s personal mobile number to a particularly disgruntled Bondstock creditor, and the chaos that ensued. 2. The fantastic team that I have spent an amazing year with. 3. Students complaining that they didn’t know about something, but still adamantly refusing to read Service Desk emails (yes, sometimes they are actually important). 4. Take every opportunity. Before you think of complaining that BUSA does nothing for you, look at what it does for other students, and ask yourself how you become one of them.

MATTHEW MCLEAN JULIA GILLARD

1. Shooting the breeze with Sam Jones. 2. The 2011/2012 Committee. 3. A few Frosty weeks. 4. Get involved!

HANNAH WEST FITNESS FIRST

1. On our second retreat when I finally acknowledged Sal as my ‘good friend’. 2. I’ll miss WBTW. Favourite part of the week with BUSA. 3. 7am Exec starts, and 11.30pm MCM meeting finishes. 4. I have none. Enjoy!

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JOSE AUSEJO SAM JONES TRAINWRECK

1. Drink cards, retreat(s), temporarily moving into the Undergrad Lounge, and the office on Wednesday mornings (lol). 2. Easily the people - always having a few people to hang out with, to study with or to get para with. 3. Responsibility. Not one part of my being will for a moment miss chasing up club presidents who decided to change their executive without telling me. 4. Get involved. Before you wonder, why am I doing this? After you wonder, why did I do this? During you wonder, why didn’t I do this sooner?

MEXICAN

1. Sam Jones’ hangovers, Sally’s cool style, Jorja raping RICOH or vice versa, and Kim (he’s different). 2. I’ll say the people, they all have been a bunch of #$%&$. 3. The purple BUSA shirts, I never had one! #YOLOLONOHOMO (do your research). 4. Just don’t.

MARCUS DE COURTENAY SMOOTH ADVOCATER

1. Gaining a sobering perspective on your own inebriated behaviour after being a Pub Crawl Leader (the Pissapocalypse). 2. Meeting so many interesting and passionate members of the Bond community. 3. Smelling like sausage for the length of Wednesday. 4. Be kind (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXw6znX Pfy4&noredirect=1).

MADDIE WARDLEWORTH FAIR TRADE

SAL DAVIES ABSINTEE

1. One Can Chris, “We should buy a bus.” 2. The friendships, nonsense and almost broken BBQs. 3. Post-Wednesday by the Water cleans (involving sea water and sand just to get the grease off). 4. You’ll always remember the things that you did do, rather than the things you didn’t do; and you’ll never regret giving it a go and getting it wrong, than never attempting for fear of making a mistake.

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1. The Ed Pod getting arrogant and aggressive while dominating BUSA trivia at retreat. The NinjaTurtleSuperPod had a good run. 2. Mentos, the Mad Snakes, madchats in the office, having a high school locker equivalent adjacent to Admissions, being a part of an exceptionally passionate and driven unit. BUSA allowed me to work with some truly inspirational students: Matt launched the Academic Audit, Thinesh introduced a PostGraduate festival, Marcus hit 100 per cent success in an appeal season, Yasmin ran a ridiculous Bondstock, and Westlyf put out the Sporting Guide. I’ll miss the cocktail of pride, happiness and motivation that working with these people produced. 3. Manhandling meat patties on Wednesdays, and colour coordinating purple polos. 4. Energy and persistence conquers all things Benjamin Franklin. Well lolz most things.

THINESH THILLAI BROWN SUGAR

1. Funniest moment was watching undergrads get angry at postgrads for getting priority for gourmet burgers during OverGrad. 2. Storage in the BUSA Office. Where will my gym shoes go now? 3. Kicking people out of Don’s on a Thursday night. Damn drunks! 4. It never gets easier, you just get better.

JENNA WONG WONGSTOCK

DAVE TYQUIN SUP DUDES!

1. Watching Chris Land on the last BUSA retreat having a fantastic time! 2. As ‘corny’ as it sounds, the thing I will miss most is the people that BUSA has allowed me to meet. Whether they are the awesome BUSA members or other people involved in campus life, this is the thing I will miss most. 3. The thing I won’t miss is Friday morning office hours - they were a struggle. 4. Once again trying to avoid sounding ‘corny’, but if i was to give one bit of advice it would be to get involved in as much as possible, “You only get out what you out in” (Nutri-Grain quote), and most of all have fun!

1. Bianca assisting Asian students by putting on an Asian accent. 2. Dirty office chats. 3. Smelling like a BBQ on Wednesday afternoons. 4. YOLO! But in all seriousness - life is short, so do what you want to and have no regrets, because at one stage in your life it was exactly what you wanted to do.

BIANCA GORGOGLIONE BITCHANCA

1. Sam telling Maddie Wardleworth that he’s hit a woman before and he’ll do it again. 2. Landy’s plan to fund a bus. 3. Henry Norris. Jokes... 5am in the office, and no sign of sleep in sight. 4. Make your mark on the BUSA Storeroom.

JAMES MULHOLLAND FOR THE LADS

1. Finding Sam but-ass naked on the BUSA couch. 2. The feeling when you know an event is going to run successfully and without hitches. 3. People whinging about needing to go to the toilet on Pub Crawl, and demanding that I do something about their lack of ability to manage their bladder. 4. Sell LOW, deliver HIGH.

“

Farewell from the 2011/2012 BUSA!

”

NICK RODGERS DARK HORSE

1. Jorja canoodling with the Mac to encourage it to print. 2. Taking out my suppressed anger on RICOH. 3. RICOH causing this suppressed anger. 4. Hold an exorcism to rid RICOH of its demons.

JORJA WALLACE WAL WAL

1. One Can Chris locking Henners in the wardrobe at the Student Leadership and Reflection Conference, then proceeding to be the most annoying guy who wouldn’t go to bed. 2. Having an identity - it’s been a long run for Wal on Scope. Also the convenience of BUSA as a halfway house, the people on BUSA and printing all the things. 3. RICOH, sleepless night, hours of uploading photos, people missing deadlines and any sign of politics. 4. Always push yourself to the limit. The only person that can hold you back is yourself - 70 hours straight without sleep can be done. Believe me, I’ve tried. “Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon,” - Paul Brandt. (Cop that Bond and your, “If the sky was the limit...” spiel).

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LIVE EXPORT: AUSTR AN INSIGHT INTO THE LIVE EXPORT INDUSTRY THE BRUTALITY AND THE HYPOCRISY.

WORDS | Dylan Hans

midst fresh claims of Australian sheep being buried alive in Pakistan, live export has made an aggressive return to our headlines. Over the last week, thousands of protesters have swarmed our capital cities, calling for the federal government to place a permanent ban on the live export of Australian livestock. With an annual expenditure exceeding $7 billion for beef alone, we are truly a nation of meatheads. It is due to this obsession that the ban of live export in May 2011 came as a shock to all. Was this daring move spurred by a legitimate concern, or exercised merely as a political tactic? Albeit mysterious, it became

SCOPE | ISSUE 36 FEATURES

irrelevant only one month later, when Joe Ludwig announced the lifting of the export ban. Senator Ludwig claimed that the government had been hard at work to implement new standards. For some reason, I have a difficult time trying to imagine how a government department would develop new regulatory mechanisms and implement them in a foreign country in a matter of weeks. Sixteen months later, these ‘new standards’ are under careful scrutiny by animal welfare organisations and the public at large. With two national outcries in this decade, I’d say the fate of our export industry might just tip the scales in the next federal election. Watch this space!

A blind nation.

What’s disappointing is the length of time it took Australians to notice that something is wrong with our export industry. What’s even more disappointing is how Australians conveniently ‘forgot’ about the issue once it left their television screens. With voters having turned their heads, the government had an easy task introducing the glorious Australian Standards for the Export of Livestock Version 2.3. These regulations could have also been appropriately titled ‘Tome Of Rules That Will Never Be Read Version 2.3’. I say this because the standards are exactly that – a stack of paper to shield the Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and

RALIAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HYPOCRISY Australia and the RSPCA claim that cattle slaughter practices in Indonesia are more inhumane then ever.

Where does the government stand?

As a multi-trillion dollar industry, it comes as no surprise that the government has been very careful in its approach to live export. Senator Ludwig has maintained that negotiations are consistently being made with importers to ensure better welfare standards. In his defence, it has not been long since the Indonesian scandal. Labor backbencher Kelvin Thomson pledged his support to protesters last weekend, creating a divide in our government. Greens spokespeople have also confirmed their support for the banning of live export. Ultimately, the current government has made it clear that banning live export is not an option. Instead, they have promised to continue investigating matters and ensuring our standards are complied with. Ironically, the investigations into the Indonesian and Pakistani incidents have only occurred due to reports from independent organisations. It would not be unfair to say that these issues would have flown under the radar if not for their exposure by organisations. Who knows the true extent of such disasters?

ep y of she

er us deliv o m r o n ne es When a he shor t t a k c i r emed s f papae o k c were de a t us s . enormo e h t aughter l , s n s a s t a s i ir m of Pak vent the e r p o t ing did noth Forestry from criticism. For the spare few people that have read the standards, all looks perfect. The department has truly succeeded in maintaining the pride and ideality of our livestock industry. Despite the perfect picture, the standards have shown little power in the real world. When an enormous delivery of sheep were deemed sick at the shores of Pakistan, the enormous stack of paper did nothing to prevent their mass slaughter.

The allegations.

The power of internet truly shines in this area. Last year, it was social media that flooded images of Indonesian abattoirs,

leading to a temporary ban of live export. Now, graphic images of exported sheep are propelling controversy. Welfare organisations, news programs and everyday Facebookers have been sharing videos of a Pakistani culling of over 7,000 sheep. These videos depict graphic killings, including mounds of twitching sheep, slowly dying atop great pools of blood. Graphic images like these are powerful. Pakistani newspaper â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The International Newsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, reported that many of the sheep were clubbed or stabbed to death, before being thrown into gigantic trenches; many still alive. Beyond the latest allegations about Pakistan, welfare organisations Animals

There is only one way out.

No matter how heroic and fierce our standards become, regulations will never stop what is truly our hypocritical attitude. We complain when we realise that cows are treated brutally in Indonesia, and rejoice when the government takes action. Still, we shudder at the slaughter of 20,000 sheep, realising that a newer, tougher approach from our government is ultimately a lie. The problem is not us. It is our neighbours. No matter how many rules we make here, they are essentially worthless beyond our shores. No abattoir in Indonesia is bound to follow rules made in Australia. I feel confident in predicting that conflicting halal requirements will trump any rules from our own country in this century. Likewise, Pakistan and our other importing nations understandably rank their own cultural and economic needs well above ours. Until live export is completely banned, this circular state of hypocrisy will only continue to blemish our nation. Australia is the largest exporter of sheep and cattle in the world. Are we really willing to let it go?

SCOPE | ISSUE 36 FEATURES

cope has seen many controversial articles over the years. Of course, nothing could possibly top Kennard’s killer critique of Bond social life. However, we have also been graced with articles which discuss (to some peoples’ horror and some trolls’ delight) topics such as elitism (FUCK BUSA!), racism, sex, homosexuality, drinking and religion. In reading these articles, you notice that there are common elements which come up time and time again. Thus, here are, from my experience, the five ingredients of a Scope article which will successfully get people talking:

insult indiscriminately. If anyone calls you out on what you have written, simply direct their attention to this statement showing your compassion and open-mindedness. They can’t argue with that.

to an inevitable conclusion that humanity is destroying this world. This is the only outcome that people will respond to (that and viral social justice campaigns – KONY 2012!!!). 5. Invite feedback which you don’t really give a fuck about. A strong controversial article should survive at least three Scope editions. Therefore, you will have the original article, a reply and then a reply to the reply. Each step should become slightly more personal and offensive. By the end, if someone isn’t requesting Jorja censor Scope through teary eyes, then you aren’t doing it right.

3. Fill the article with as many logical fallacies as possible. The more flawed your logic, the more angry people will become (and of course this is the desired response). Examples include: a. Slippery slope – “If we allow people not on student associations to go to Executive Drinks, the drinks will end quicker and then everyone will die.” b. Appealing to emotion – “Wednesday by the Water is all well and good but what about the poor, starving BUELI students who can’t pronounce lettuce? How are they meant to eat?! You monsters.” c. Ad hominem – “Well drinking may cause brain damage but Sam Jones is a sexual predator so who cares?”

1. Choose a topic that would cause a riot in Cronulla. Your article will be lacklustre from the beginning unless its central idea is highly provocative. I have noted above some tried and tested controversial topics. If evangelistic extremists are currently delivering sermons on it, chances are you are onto a winner. You should take a very radical viewpoint on the particular topic with no room for compromise. Remember, extremism is the key.

*****

4. Use language which suggests that your topic is causing the apocalypse. Words such as ‘odious’, ‘repulsive’, ‘abhorrent’ and ‘antithesis’ should make frequent appearances. As a general rule, the more ridiculous your vocabulary is, the more persuasive you are. The article should flow

I hope this has assisted you in effectively structuring your next Scope article. Remember, university is the time to be controversial, because afterwards you get a corporate job and become as boring as a CEVs lecture. Make sure that you put your name to the article as well. How can people personally attack you as a way of dismissing your arguments if they don’t know who you are (see ad hominem above)? Oh, and, this article is not intended to cause offence. I encourage any feedback.

2. Preface the article with ‘this article is not intended to cause any offence’. This is a crucial part to any offensive article. By putting this short sentence in, you essentially obtain license to defame and

Mature Age Students

FEATURES | SCOPE

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If anyone calls you out on what you have written, simply direct ining !ng Sw # @ % their attention toSthis top F statement showing your compassion and open-mindedness.

Bonnie Whitehead

full of rainbows and smiles so we can all just get along, aside from the problem that I live in the blocks, where any enjoyable kitchen-related activity is strictly prohibited, I really don’t see this happening until a few guidelines are laid down.

Recently, it has come to my attention that every time I attend a lecture (foreign concept I know, but apparently they’re supposed to enhance our learning experience), my list of ‘ThingsI-Don’t-Give-a-Shit-About’ grows alarmingly. In fact, I’m beginning to think that if I ever sat down and attempted to make this list tangible, it would be longer than a Kardashian wedding (difficult). mous

I hate to be the person who picks on a particular group right now, but look, I’m going to put it out there, and if anyone has a problem with it, I’ll point out now that maybe if you didn’t talk so much, I would have been able to hear the lecture on the illegality of defaming a particular class of individual.

Anony

Surprisingly, the contributions to this list are, for the most part, inunweek related to the fact that the lecture content involves y past being subess m idiots who have jected to over two centuries worthex ofpr bumbling w toRather, it is the endless stream holaw. met disagreement with tort rt, or , ed to sta dg re of irrelevant interjections offered by overzealous students who ju he w en knowup aillnew ve be ason for . painfully rd to open w try realm of things I find too ha uninteresting. tal re It is ha eek. I ever, I g pig amen . How for a w thclear, f*ckin un-ya‘painfully e fund words g For the sake a ofpi making I’ll redefine g suit myevpoint , an rin er ve n mean Ho wealistened ha w I think ifI Iwsat as and interesting’ byn. that w wor to d did itto Friday that probably ve no re atrepeat, y dow n, nor it more Black onvi d sta our, is I would tin rson; mintellecI too ha Rebecca a perso afind ned anstimulating, behabecause e asleast with sa asthatpe doing I would plete learn the questio tually natory with m at w ith me (com m anyway; ndem of in to do(halfob the of le them I was too caught up on g week city ro th pr this co days at s no r y’ d ste about where Tuesday fits into seat take to po even hawhich ciet lyethink soto ith suit. It the ing te w . hi el w n days the fe anofdthings). g to do scheme

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If you know so much, then why the hell are at uni again? ll, e nt e e p ans an a ct m outot.w platfo s into foo ity ab ays, the illb a lig sovloen t er lin an se re Thi ular y t,a à larM ve ALW d forem ng rm. elyiFa ox, all rdrop ard mo e ligh the d, m out rv es. i . ry If you really need to get so much off your chest, then here’s (y o I e s s ha f M p AYS lia He ing m es, d spiri m the m least ictu usic the e rWeaptch eve rame us p s bitugtoe giiroLa told an e tu ost vent wea ost rule a way and y, eco nge. So Austra , so I say, dy; it u inte ality. peop re, we nd c r b s some advice… Y rs n s r w me s r a w s m o to o m e t o ith ultu . It w le cti f e ’r g just a ake rest I nd ethin a ha senur Leng dt reltradeiti rep ork must Univ ity of in Isl certain have e delv re. H as fa t for raceit a ces muyo tativ to ch s arou ur rdoupaboI buet Bon g t e c n nt i o h th in o th a r a p e ly n o h g a a rn w : m g ch erso e n yo D st c u , o e ers ore itie d rese kne be nioon . 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Thmure r cam ethoing l a ny sl d, g, ba es lary. y thm rensp sic)eand ligio ligious rve th d by th tha n fr the boBeieng regsyinap eth Alternative kno ffedebthe in Depend s d eac mu ree of ine xang bite re, sue a typ o isan m over atoth atckie fieldmks dra ated ththrough nt asso ar is f this sm ond. Th foin the r ofte the ite e KISS u y ethae ba som nhi e es.’t rea gui ouron som t is e Wt, let nd lin doi s you the empty m vaateaver my vocabu n-t shrsel es the k somcl doieng ba your deg the dooinvi wh this sexlose you eon can nlikise oail akes a politica ld on a rocBei ng to pur esth thet term pla om tequi inserveth rs forrea Whack lly oshwh Am e oul f religio event us pra groupe stud e stuy’re nd hadar ed,ingpwro tetand fe inat a le ong, stud hot tioounm e goldat? tI lin s o righ db uduni de e that turn the rprees rio thaending on s s, sses and . people pria and ll you dom knock on and co r to you usrstan lal ds; you’re goi d re wha mu larygI’m pro e a typ gs, erm em it c ething at B wtio you. It’s thetermwit mat. Ifng f Bo som y th ter in WMustakr te Dep ent criticism abuoyin detham sue nig m hove he rd toFlu, isng ptynce depreciate ell, rmti.on m pro doi of ht progre ng s inap fo som veryou th sex t w sic) vocann perm ersitie ed stu scious an’s thehig mo em , ng to pur st ma n in th repre tices, to ho nts of at y on th lledipthths,akin its fo b c put a t five tolly ber righ a wor ate te d ral is les w. o my as hot is say s is the nd doi the xi wh ith l vo es r invi e d e you th is the rld in llige sex th to to As lly you and a h e y’re w e t se s goi in u e e so e , e n inat s v y and st ds; pat o thknoand ’s b no es’re rea faple tha rything on. our wit vent k no is ch cativ t. w r inte reciates y almost I sse w m niv o dom relig Bond nts rilrm b ha ine . It’s reaadhere ral standarwet ay alis you ed thatkno ca stit , to minis, ha nshGodora . As s thefm re w tho righe If athe r wo end th is Sw e, do lly g to you g peo sec the mun thing ant, a e invocanno to eve ap ht progre . e usse the you as aices dep pile up, you ious to u centr t subc nd Tru d to e te ! So e fere r mo h, oyin ry d a wordYou onsay d fancysand g c nit a . Also b ncedar atio sociisat quew.served e MSA fema ach ds. I daresa is youyou ann oef ykiare mll,pth high five e ? Yea wro lying inch rea of our in t in ou nct ag t nd toit’s As, the nigglassesr intellige you ly im omm oor re ular likning connot ttm reallyual kno on.er m. It eve pa a thgs osten 4am rate ity, I sim e se rin lly in em za, or to lved a stress pate witso ng ing as sex ryth adhereend s le you your stanesay almwh ra te e isn’t it?tisfy in be serious th h your cho the ok ven theo mtho t r t stions . As I made les we of secul un a wetabl eve p pa p ly fro with be thefort know find a sex not s you e nd trying to ton tolo’re e co fancy and the lying incom y e p re dis rtia ity. Bo reand so do intifluencialisme to be ecia ) or th k to th ld Wa at ha abou You ses pile up, c n, w to e abo was ture ms th nN1 ds. I dar a night to the a ueh,. Ra glasry eatio a ices. Also ? Yea not sall th ly reduce It’s m m o ly sug see proud activnough l. con en yoube r cho be the und’ omen unfair, ned a seriousiq c r standarhas haden 4am is esp o it’s you nco ut Isl linin n intro divide r- N nd you ar e H1 o m orulso they turn co h you sex nk severe betterabl ki even wh ur a g witas o th coualstu a e e nk ng toing un the end whthe face and g a skured ote so do you everyoane uld s your wants to es, ons (BSAtes ba the C ne?) th is good indusura W a d d lik aro tryi It se ed and ta and which up’ infindaa wh hing ofve night relig est th ng to f our c in our e im lis cht 4 coyad to the “You’ll do.” . ge m we up, I ucto comfort . It’s g fie ly roouce mebe sho leep G’s. We : no m – notoone a one ne has had ng dru o ns,ld our liv ia en you’re nd t them in they turn pro t’se met ultu ious at it ry n 4 no severebed atte etir! re t and say re po dhao since nk better be bei d ah animal to tsroot so try not to staring face Or tory inio even e wethaar and the art everyo any ? Wha modern ld join wan ouranso itingcuss 4 4nmeBo g in of stud is do mote res a ligionsrtance the nesd criticism as adsku ert inone do.”e that primal ls in the nde pose ticed opclay be itf w rm vi n ‘s omie roga plaUyn one the /girl/it/goa nk us d skil u’ll exp ‘su . in no ss g-te dud e for ts dru guy – il “Yo ha ric m u e , a me onc ne ill ma b ca lon nd m d n rld so the d a ng a f est e iro v e e a y the say ans t’s m n H ofto be in elie roobered as bei si n.I nt b oes, s to clos goat and t, but al not toat blind-B artm de atio le re y by ever tow belie if tha for bedem of be staring e b t goo ther o le sho crac vel se e be thaty thesee by no me rational fa: c udetnatn e). Maythinkeo w fs nenv e cruco ody.indep furt inl/it/ ible though t prim ert inays ls in the root sortry rm (I’d stay y opeest thare , how rf th o be rem eve more n a le phra e we’ a p reallyl not dud end within fs. Th t is ridicul occ n with ason the W ards guy/gir t tim e an exp her is pe I am ill for mad skil long-te theete It’s a terr but onc ee SA d, I alwbe u th ans take ove as a-P say I’m ver clos re ay’ of th em ate e fa e ou’r d o ally th ent urre relig that th ht stan ne’s peo h, sa uennd cerned for social it ible thought,tak at blinllsd-B ofost to in asafely ope beredpar es overnot combo). call th I am by no menig rationa u m (BU angyuoed n- lly wh s enno little ders o , I will r ha e MSA the ‘forepl ly a e co re seem it e dw io hic y ecia r r (I’d stay ays ship h, th that really d veryo re, y re ; but I can nce/ski be remem let instinct ll reais,llyof course, cla x, w(r nd m dents s e ove ed I’m ver , the It’s a terr of ith us gro is the d, I alwtion (esp ’p ndit, ha at y ted ers the th toyb r Smit r we’re re t confide o bo). ly say nat ete takbes gen in me sep se ove Bo epl,ay’ is vario ,e m been is in safeopi ed ue takesbei not ca iversity stu ‘foring up em night stan rela the dancing was and you y th a ngs. Therse, theflirt at llyed ing. hyas yeseonrythe oAnre I canand when h let para-P the a/skills com butded eed nedva y wor rgu er, is th ything rtherm ;min us re s. I re ost rec spec tende da instinct it isnioecia e duniq wit thets. If a guy ‘ptla enjo Un ause re is, of cou t a dirtyou g. Thedancingl, sho n seek confidence o ons.at ar as ld A ow- m, a becto d. ya ifi ent ligio cog relationshipse nated ).(esp st o th Sexsisn’ evenin nth dnio very the best era was Bond andh stigma justht The , the wdlho juin ti e th itpsh tentio are opi exa cally wev . If an ting. Fu ”– nts beings. The the us g nise naisst ulin inogu?er kn ma eoym at en es to sex and com k of sev o y wor flirting al o st ipa : wit it rig f*#% ot e e m guy bac ’s dirt We ded H h nd The a ria m a g nt n rtic e aus tein du w th u u dea t If , O g. “let ro . d e min v a Th pa vi e to ma just ts. w in is th ple co o say at nt d le e ups ro e ita le o the diisn’ ho ? oseia Sex eve l sho It’s nt ofnts ).In ,N e nin knockin vebec Mr. Levenssthe erato n’t havh differe sex ar uld a girl’sand sev s.sho stigha ” –get punched in is sh at Bo simila of BU ioned k 8 amou rly as com lly, eople r thso c Thlere veinlyvisgib ounldd nUnor atr rsgo this , NO es to fectly g back of d er words oftein oi ipa wit up f*#% n, la a e l k an per ce a ek the io rtic r to c er n dea ur wal SA “let cu In fo sit to pa ti e “It’s ng te to ens e rgsha n… alay ligit. of Mr. Lev nd o e enj r-O fo the was to occ Gend nt of knockin Pie – ly reoy listi havyou and say ep sts. lleac d inerse an ch n’tns likes and in th uatio ’s affi r bably goi y b ki or , parti attention se cherev erice a girl en ke grep sa y- taN s every Ames shouldio punthe fect ngs ...” pullsk up tothe Rea ’t nic shing nquecitom words y’re pro and amou ut exploring your perfect e p ns ha lilay is ta a per the ) from er) ePieth ipile e pin sity life n ng to get ru Dadus o the me pld how ifwas – “It’shum ’sca arwin to wal ast oy it. In to occur When it opinenj Gender shh ve lay onw Dbei abo your likes and (Jim d is a an are be c us c ough trlly hr ofor for sowoil u two e an . ’t nt bably .goi It’s funny ia,l athn w Univer r deliberat bema erseDonkey Kong.’ at Sex is all Amleric you g for bei revlike ng night stan e,) from habits, youic’sul thin ngs...” they’re pro face it ours. Don otiutht? Yes. fectr curiosities. If power. explori othe thato?thIe ev ired fo how if the oldan m rela importa peryou can illustriod, alth cifica egrse , so a one be ‘on Kon r neighb g.’ When about (Jim Dad nor e all the is d is asfy k g s twor hum dislikes in study social rid ir of yous. h a healthy face ’t e e p it would key . It’s stan o ... funny ns be place witer Sex is all g forou girls hav er. wn , rig not d If you ; hey ngth ectfulghb to satiiosi nightnity less inio l thin the wn an d. Sp ther to t Iathin our Donmight eone wh faoirwn at dhro wrora tiesh. som un in th lfish ‘on like Don to sexe, us oplust hing a choice nst so a one norma r and Do beofresp lthy r cur wit r nei se down; you o sion noted u all the pow opportu know ei iss you would be comes dislikes, m th of pas h aanhea sfyget it rse ogo for it. If one ...of cou be bably trying to There’s dra crosse r an n. Bor ise kn s e gsewit tion. Se ally do fulamyou witof act into bed s by life ected agai yourself’. So its he htpro the hou eone you ; hey e wh ke ngon ect to sati us girls hav vou , mig lust r. to eon som e wro – ta resp t nity ner fo ke sex I’m x g ti you scre ty nge be and ose to n som su y’re n; ds. c iati lbo hin wan you ic ortu m w te stra es Do ta therw o recs ca sion e nee too If one re to the par to it. kes with opp be I’d cho e you kno prot vorabili tisfa ers u ory of of pas eing g it but thely tryinguse house dow d ad There’s not apperact rse ’s thecom it. ell, be ts on ma s into bedtheir own , we hav sonally, ly g mo a comple

HOTEX SESX

Opinion

g us. are compar in

Opinion

THE

WORDS | Marcus de Courtenay

‘b be cou win an Per ose someon ans ds. I’m of by get knows lbox – go for, invite vou have a lot scream the enjoyiny’re probab d to of an the ligh you ner you seonek a pillow, nger. there’s sure it’s ugh to the par ty want to niati y Dar es of cho we’re hum iorec as oppose If leavtsing grave ’re but the It’s called app makes ’ll findlot plete stra ory of p of Thesonr-ally, I’dvag uely to because have neentificall’s theh ir own tooisn’t eno on re Always make ing it’s tent , we a com a dark unless you enjoying it sleeap.pillow, use it. te mo instanc out of the ligh the win d wit the hel nPer m off. You d safe r thateway pet y as oppose ked upyscie knows the person , invithe re’s havethe ask cho when merrier.ke sure it’s by Darnise ing theturn re hum ain’ . ansbacntifi the ion, at me” ed The babyvag ausbed without If leav t enough lf more Alw ding a psy ’ll find you nce in ess p uofand It’s mutch ymeow uel becof ays ma youe’rescenario – sleep. It’s call it’s hel You on (moder scie luticall m w make , takinging evolut way howe’ way ht of m off.mo person isn’ – the h the m y do safer tha himse re confide cas k unl am - “Yo t it like the risk one nig cho whaen merrier. l thoughhout ask d wit stranger, darist. not illi backed up evo After-glo Worstio turn the s g)fro y ain’ nise theion Gan Wthe day re the always human – eone you’re r life for bab s doat the ding a psy are witr,hmake your location nce inibit consen,sua leave? It’s It’s much (moder me ing’twit str odh th – the mo so let’ ruin you night of of bed is oun tthe u and -the risk e sceenar als, glow ughal.tak y do may re confidean exh with som th “Yoma ngeaware of cas evolutionghBlo r or do you Don step in ee wee all dom. Ifhyou er -but ou mm erthe tho . mo one rst l g) stra t ran not ove a ’re like a ing Aft hom av for like ays Wo sua in Gan e illeg it stay leave?aIt’s are location son looks youd to; hav is rounds you r lifeR needs. ououndnothin’als, po ionist. ’ve gon someoneacte are wit consen w youYOU let’s do nnel.” w of alw Do you r r friends toso you after few ma y If you’re ’t ruin h enBlothodh - . If you an exhibit you t attr ing the er bag or do edDis Donsati dom re of you at theksper e wit sure you mm sfying “wee covery Chathe la overigat ma ory butrou awa like. h someone nds you ually tha e homact pap but lig areleas is illegal. esas-”ranso ing. Ev notel to move. t know wh l.” m on the hin’ob nds at needs. mand d to; hav nne fro son loo it on wit ur-h to be Do you stay oblafte a few ctive as a r frieand rtoo you’ve gon nott attracte -yotu Chae buggered e attached os ore th shit’, I fe ng YOUR theeper eep eryitiv getting ment you you’re they like atnsid irs? is as effe but l; you bag sure ’t-k If le sfyi eon of m cov tha “c mo be y er wh me off wal ory ve. the Dis sati Can be e w som ug ts . e op uall sive SC spap just h or hemo If assu igat the sex thur-handgainst-t can ligh ctive as a rd/offen t kno y dow yng obl on e, “f est.act ed to r don’ty like to bep, some people O not d on e-aYours it on wit thatche g pe ger is clos P monke -yo h-me-a d s. If a guy pi and t; at leas Onl E off is as effe Hot ca eep the wei moment you getwting ping oveme theile y slee ple erever too bug irs? -lus the stigma l;in ’t-kthe ag ofkno pus nus atta is girl the e slee wh be ate r; e quot wnke Oh, an here of ‘giv wal it as the ur Can ly sa). be (mi ts . es for | sive nsid just or heIf assu sion see th ver wh sex each-o en ’t peoothers co st-t ffenout). est. (or vice ligh dow ; pas s; you that can r don Yours e – probab somdeand nd, Onlythe 6 weird/oone eciallys.true sp te-again guy ined inmo ary offggled into -clo g ovesnu t ver is clos t; you ing-desire h-m – theirssa). y sleep, che the stigmais espfor At the tim pusno girl Ifhafives all rou ne ate -lus ce.nus the |whip r;as it as y withou ly where s unless sleepin le-burnpas sonal tear-offs;-my youme ho co mmatevice sion t menHot versay her pla(mi w while the ntw is to it – this to be tou ). FEAT en-us;-clo lythe lly truegirl it’s hig nd, insatiab-desire;-be eac others seey roll awa box of toy r ggled into the e – probab mo kno (orctive I’d inh-o have a–roo ecia offr everyo en, w irsspe don’t like abou t s hint it’s sleep d and rta the ing e-heat twe ip one out snu UR -my guy out yousrunless you hou ps with ha fives allsrou che ction. If the elievable to ity– this is esp wh At the tim you gE urn you hea ht like you ate the ce wit it r-off ce. tou to slee e affe y per unb mig le-b brin t l-th t tea iou ’s pla be mm Mauld as talking ’t ch ing aus hig doe toy awa fee nt to tiab You us; net accord her mu they rolla pretty obv sleep S for it. Don r box of it’s as a girl r everyotha bec a roo m a girl e I’d sayner en-ow: SEX. Tha le mome insa ts, your bod with a girl twee-n w If g, it’s youraming fromdon’t like too He mos n. isin you have Fro heatty sure vab ctivally clea eand t it’s like scre eat-bee-m guyenever he wan bring out you ds as soon s it you Pre ps ctio elie they’re up speusu ht es off and hin the s w stan to S slee affe per tch unb mig t ht log iou ’s y E ’t kno run ch ing wh aus swi ages”, t them in. ’t doe y feel-the-h tak t!!!” nig You ’re . girl Tha apo pretty obvch me Rordof one in ape wants, theDon it. they ma We ner andybec “slu ATU y seem y’re up forbut t acc your bod as a girl from dage. Dontoo mu From a a don’t tou ow: SEX.your bra tha can escver cryingtty ing he ception it’s e, pu . sure clea dsel of slut. as soon a couple the rabbit y run screeam es off and FE s for bon ising,tim allyfee wand like the whenemis r stan be ary, take-me-n whinenswitch em ls Pre con ht log usu to goe kno you ion ’t y th lab t!!!” nig ’re ciety . ng m ge apo | t “slu the dict rd rsta We e. Don y see marria escape over. r bra of one for the they ma the room. Sam dagess cry that wei they’re goi ht be e, don’t touch me b into finding |thaingdict r, don’t ove theyitcan king for when you takes a couple ception avoidsmis unl ng rab qualify you slut. verbut thee goes forebon r to stay in bed all be y mig le, I’m con tim all loorria erebit to the and stay overstay you ionary, feels like PE to clim doesn’t the label of r. eon up t rd goi ise t we’refor readily tha newly sing wei If your,do ma thege y’re day. Go whtheabl ’t ovey’re happy ingdO tie somess if you rooem. Sam SC thatto theit. takes ove y? have tha don as being the in qualify you for r, beingle, I’m find Otherwht be duce a gun ovecom in bed all, go for it looking ond ofwh e. If the it avoids up unl grante erever Howeve ly sing staywel y mig s necessar ed on by time sn’t st comfort someleoneturn theabo t we’reiesallevery sec readily py to stay e withityou ut to pro took forbeingFor ise ’re If you do name youssed and make day. Go the mo ng new the first doe ifdre erally y’re hap Are ces a hot ething Inted asmo r, beisom of the spend tim to have tha bab able gettie sary? it. Otherw g youpro sting. you gen , go forget safest and e. If the n4 duce a gun gra t any re. time in Howeve day and comfort ry second ed on byassumin person, e a taxi or feel the mostit. welcom tine. Intere make sign that e with you ut tor love gun). took for - isn’For y get up, firstle for more tha Are names ne the sing ber oy Tak a hotel emturn babies eve you st and theenj ’re aboyou know the generally ction rou ething I available ssed and – it’s a t to. If the spend tim king

W ing ms to nge (o vulne al sa f play gers. hy? the xu see challe ople’s eir se pes o r stran t). W are u goa riends ns yo r is a ng pe get th ese ty nds o a a my up ow - “F is me the c igeti rder to ugh, th en frie it es, e t (y le I kn re, th seat in or leg yin o ly, tho betw a o Su an ics yg eop s”. ont Sad inate p m ther p rselve the fr t polit lso do rant u rim u a c o ets this ou to ets bo lly g d most for ho g ree a would al of tion a re se o u w n g vic are This e - a choo t over , disa ly, yo ain g r con nds m we ie h te m o h r ig ima my e our fr fo ily r, fig urle lt rag y fam bicke y to B , but u I guess k cou hen y ent ma e wa t care ther. o lac em. W um r in rg th o h a th e w no h on lay owed tely eac eople lose to em. -sid vil p ma g for p c one e e ou kn ell, t th se ely e lon n… y e?” W rn thin inspire r tho rotec m p xtre m th erso h m e swo ’s is to up fo , you y e s fro er p r wit b k t it stic close in m g crie e oth artne ey will e, bu at t th int tha po arin ut th er p re th e tim ce) c this ine he t abo n his/h am su in du evian eir a f at th o g d ha to .I It is I ima ut w ated otten e curb xual rceive e ac lie t e tha bra: “bho ch e forg to th n (or seen pe ing th n only st d ju w the one w ldn’t b kicke ulatio ple th hado on ca is all it o the shou d and manip n. Pe overs a pers alise y : n s w re e is se e r’ o th abu e md a you , ev arnt lay ch at, evil p gs the eable on le efore ss su the rin less es b rgiv the acro have only lly b unfo lf. The y tim e a m on’t the n re s as itse d ma r co tion ating ce so . eve d you witty ou che our fa big lie if y er) an to be , e y s y ne to skill ayb il pla t, o st m e ev or the r are: tha h , ju e t, ybe en (t quen to utt im ma So spec be elo need rare rts to really ” u ang sma s yo w rd the wo off get ch: “Bit

THE FIVE INGREDIENTS OF A SUCCESSFUL CONTROVERSIAL ARTICLE, GUARANTEED TO GET BOND TALKING. 7

SCOPE | ISSUE 36 FEATURES

OPE

ATU

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WOMEN, KNOW YOUR LIMITS. WORDS | Thinesh Thillai

his article is not intended to cause any offence. Today I decided to get in touch with my feminine side. I made myself a sandwich (thanks to inspiration provided by my religious leader Zach Galfianakis). I soon discovered that making myself a sandwich was the most unnatural thing that I have ever done. Not only did I have to cut the crust off myself, I had to bear the womanly task of spreading the cream cheese across that piece of rye. My hands were not made to do such abhorrent things and with that, my sudden bout of experimentation was over. I concluded that there is a reason why women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Our minds and bodies have been created so differently, and we are here on Earth to serve our innate purpose. Meno, a legend of great masculine proportions, summed it up quite clearly for all of us, “A woman’s virtue, if you wish to know about that (I mean who really cares?), may be easily described: Her duty is to order her house, and keep what is indoors, and obey her husband.” (e.g. Make sandwiches. Good sandwiches at that). The great Greek philosopher Aristotle shared this sentiment. He saw women as morally, intellectually and physically inferior to men. This view was reflected in ancient China and multiple other powerful nations. So now the question is, why the change? What has led us to this repulsive state in society? Women are becoming more and more active in domains that are clearly meant for men. Encouraging women is all well and good, but what about the poor, unemployed men who can’t find jobs because all the women have taken them!? Monsters!

WHY WOMEN SHOULD BE PLAIN AND SIMPLE IN THOUGHT, AND LET THEIR INNERSWEETNESS SHINE THROUGH.

“

What has led us to this repulsive state in society? Women are becoming more and more active in domains that are clearly meant for men.

”

On a serious note though, women are now eligible to work, and get equal pay at that, even though they get a year off for maternity leave. I don’t see men being eligible for maternity leave (nor should they unless they are pansies). If women didn’t work, men wouldn’t have to waste time redoing the work. Additionally, women wouldn’t have to take a year off to take care of children that they gave birth to, and we wouldn’t be in such an economic crisis as more jobs would be available. Saudi Arabia has laws against women being eligible to drive. This clearly speaks to the marvelous success of the nation. I mean, c’mon! Look at Dubai? If women were allowed to drive, all the cars would end up in the kitchen (due to a mix of womanly driving and the natural gravitational pull found in kitchens), and we would all die! DO YOU WANT TO DIE? Many feminists argue that patriarchy is unjust and oppressive, and we should have more female leaders; but have you seen the way they dress? It is not a coincidence that Australia is finding itself in one of the worst conditions in its nation’s history, and Julia Gillard happens to be the first female Prime Minister of Australia. The current phase of women progressing in the world is the antithesis of what is needed in society. Nothing is more odious than the sight of a woman outside of the kitchen. I encourage any feedback from anyone that is not a woman.

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A STORY OF TRUTH, BEAUTY, FREEDOM AND LOVE HOW BOND IS JUST LIKE THE MOULIN ROUGE WORDS | Callum Wood

CALLUM WOOD PAINTS A TALE FULL OF WONDER, HOPE AND LUST, ARTFULLY REVEALING THE CHARACTERS IN HIS DELICIOUS PLOT ALONG THE WAY.

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think we have all had that Ewan McGregor moment; where he walks out of the rain, into the big top and into a world of glamour, indulgence and sheer excitement. It’s kind of like your first day of O-Week. Well, that was certainly my experience in the glorious semester of 091. It’s hard to pinpoint a few key characters in this story, but give me some latitude while I try. I’m going to be ambitious (and possibly somewhat misguided) and place myself as Christian – a creative dreamer, blown away by this new, amazing world. So the next character must be Satine, the sultry seductress. I feel like there are a few candidates: Jorja Wallace, Britt Jones or perhaps even Emma Lago? But I feel like this title has to go to Georgina Chao – a woman who knows what she wants, how to get it and boy does she know how to get a man to bend to her will. She holds grace like Satine, can drink any Ewan McGregor under the table, and has even been known to do a few dance numbers on a night out on the town. She even taught this storyteller how to ‘dougie’, which is no small feat. Next we have Harold and the Duke. There was a certain American/ Australian/Greek fashion mogul that came to mind for both of these roles, however, I have been advised not to disclose any names. So, who then? Harold the ringmaster, the owner of the Moulin Rouge and the eternal business man. He has the connections, the

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knowledge and persuasion skills that would make Atticus Finch envious - candidates include Liam Auer, Adam Roberts and Rupert Pedler. But in my story, I feel like this title has to go to one Mr Rowan Kendall. Upon entering our last semester, Rowan contemplated joining a whole host of clubs. After inquiry, I learnt that Rowan was trying to build up his resume in order to get valedictorian, despite already securing a position at a top-tier firm and having been heavily involved in life on campus. Additionally, Rowan has been a keen mooter, directed a swag of legal competitions and enjoys a good quality gentlemanly scotch – how very Zidler-esque. And now the Duke, unfortunately seen in somewhat of a negative light, I would like to think of the Duke more as a misunderstood character who was shortchanged in a business deal gone bad. Potential cast members could be Alan White, or perhaps James Graham (said with love Graz), but I feel this title must go to Samuel Jones; a man who knows how to wield a drink card, and creepily lure young women into his midst. Props also go to Sam for going home with a girl and managing to leave the next morning under the guise of ‘getting McDonalds’ – it takes Duke-sized balls to pull this off. There are a number of other characters whose appearance should be noted. Andrew Dennis and James Guinane share the role of Toulouse-Lautrec, a believer of all things bohemian, especially love. In our first semester on Valentine’s Day, these two boys went around the university to the

But no matter what role you play, in the end we are a troupe; a family of misfits, pioneers and dreamers who have come together to form the incredible Bond community.

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rooms of the girls in our group and placed hearts and chocolates at their doors, just so they would feel loved. T’was pretty cute I must say. And the Narcoleptic Argentinian, that has to go to Tina Riz. Whilst actually being Egyptian, she has the skin tone and sleeping habits to pull off this role. With her entertainingly crazy outbursts of energy and her outgoing and witty nature, Tina has this character down pat. In the loveable entourage we also have Jacqui Hagger, eternally nice with a sharp intellect; Matt Hartsuyker, notorious ladies man, sportsperson and all round great friend; Sophie ‘at one with life’ McNaught, whose individual strength I have come to love and admire; Jack ‘Fred Astaire’ Morphet (enough said); Jack ‘couldn’t be with us today’ Cranwell; Meera Sivanathan, the little pocket rocket who could; Lauren Gain, a talented mix of social and political strength with a dash of MasterChef thrown in; and many others who I shan’t name so as to not bore you. But no matter what role you play, in the end we are a troupe; a family of misfits, pioneers and dreamers who have come together to form the incredible Bond community. It is our strength of character and our enduring, unbridled passion that makes up the core of Bond. We are Bondies. We do not tolerate mediocrity, nor do we shy away from a fight. We are fierce, capable and ever-determined. No matter where we go after Bond, we know that we continue to be part of something special. As a graduating student, I am both proud and humbled to have been part of this incredible group. For those who have shared this journey with me, thank you. And for those of you just starting here at Bond, I urge you to take full advantage of every opportunity presented to you – you never know where it might take you. My story at Bond was my own. It was amazing, inspiring and everything I never knew I wanted. But in the end, we will all share a similar story from this unique place. A story of truth, beauty, freedom and love. Au revoir.

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on. | An S D

R WO

THE ELABORATE ENIGMA THAT IS LOVE – DISMANTLED AND DISSECTED ANONYMOUSLY.

hen asked to write an article for this week’s edition of Scope, I racked my brain, trying to think of a story that could outdo my previous efforts in this glorious publication. After much thought, and a search of my misplaced soul (I’m not a lawyer, people), I decided to explore the most foreign, confusing and enraging subject known to man… LOVE. In order to provide a greater understanding of this she-devil concept, I will put on my cap of professional journalism and explore the who, what, when, where and why of LOVE. WHO? In most cases, the object of our love is a person. Our love for family and relatives is automatic; it is not something where we have a choice. We all have that infuriating family member who we just want to shit on (…maybe that’s just me), but no matter how much we despise them or no matter how many laxatives we take, we can’t change that ingrained feeling that tells us that we would jump in front of a bus or take a bullet for them. However, as a species, we are programmed to expand our scope of love. We are not content with the people we already love. We are always searching for our paramour, our better half, someone to share

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everything with. It is hard to explain how one develops feelings of love for another person; I myself have not experienced this burden. In order to explain this phenomenon, I will cite the premier scientific institution behind the study of love – How I Met Your Mother. As all of you would know, in Episode 1 of Season 8, Klaus explains to Ted what love is, “Lebenslanger Schicksalsschatz (love) is not something that develops over time. It is something that happens instantaneously. It courses through you like the water of a river after a storm, filling you and emptying you all at once. You feel it throughout your body, in your hands, in your heart, in your stomach, in your skin. If you have to think about a time where you have felt this sensation then chances are you have not experienced Lebenslanger Schicksalsschatz.” WHAT? For those of us who just find the opposite sex infuriating, the question is not who we love but what we love. There are always substitutes to human love. One may develop a love for their sporting team (go the swannnnnnnnies), for food or for art. Note – a study conducted by an authorised, legitimate and credible government agency* found that 87.8 per cent of people who had a greater love for non-living objects over humans were either paedophiles or mass murderers. CHOOSE THE HUMAN.

Your Mother, love is instantaneous, it is not developed or manufactured, and it doesn’t mature like a good bottle of red wine. It’s that first moment when you lock eyes with someone. It’s that nervousness that paralyses you as you try to say hello. It’s that excitement that rushes through your body when you receive a text or Facebook message from them. There is a preconceived notion that love strikes when you least expect it. As for where, it should be rephrased ‘where not’. Timeless theatrical masterpiece Superbad shows that the majority of relationships formed at bars are destined to fail. True love finds you at a farmers’ market or paintball. WHY? Are we as the human species inherently lonely? Is that why we jump aboard the love express? Do we feel a need to satisfy an urge for companionship? The optimist in me would like to think not. Rather, I would like to believe in the logic of ancient Greek philosopher Plato, “According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.” Love is a journey where we search for that one person who is able to complete us. The one person who tolerates and accepts our faults. The one person who makes us laugh. The one person who makes us cry.

***** In writing this story, I have discovered two things… #1: Lust does not equate to love. No matter how bad you want to fondle with Swedish Sven’s (pubic) hair in a backpacker’s hostel in Melbourne, unless you feel the sensations described by Klaus from How I Met Your Mother, this is not love. #2: If you agree with the title of this article, you haven’t experienced love. Don’t get me wrong, couples who are in love argue and get into fights. However, it should be easy to love someone. There should be no extenuating circumstances or external factors that should influence your love for someone. Love is pure and requires no effort. Peace. MJ. *Study supervised by Kazakhstani Ministry of Science

WHEN? AND WHERE? We do not choose love, love chooses us. The love bug can strike at any moment. According to lead researchers at How I Met

“LOVE IS SIMPLE AND EASY” … SAID NO ONE EVER

ny girl who has ever picked up a glossy magazine knows that scene from The Devil Wears Prada. It begins with Meryl Streep deciding between two very similar belts, and a tragic sweater-clad Anne Hathaway sneering at her indecision. When confronted, Hathaway says she doesn’t really know much about that ‘stuff ’ and it’s Streep’s monologue that reinforces what every fashionista holds to be true. You are never to smart to be stylish. The monologue is as follows: “This... stuff? Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. “You go to your closet and you select, I don’t know, that lumpy blue sweater for instance because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. “But what you don’t know is that that sweater is not just blue. It’s not turquoise. It’s not lapis. It’s actually cerulean. And you’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent, wasn’t it who showed cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here. “And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it, uh, filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. “However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you’re wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room from a pile of ‘stuff ’.” Now, you can’t tell me after reading that you don’t believe in fashion. So long as you’re not a nudist, it’s safe to say you have invested in the industry. When you say you’re not really into fashion, you’re really just taking a lazy interpretation of style and rejecting it. You probably think style is being the attentionseekingly overdressed girl with latest designer accessories, but that’s a lie. We all have some sort of vanity. Whether it be working out for an hour a day, or having to be the smartest person in the room; it’s whatever you do to feel important and valued. I get my kicks out of the confidence style gives me. It isn’t about having the latest Louboutins or the perfect Pucci pumps; it can be as simple as pairing a white shirt with a good blazer and a pair of jeans. It’s really not that hard, and the effects are astounding. However, even the most fabulous fashionistas have their lazy days. I typically won’t leave the house, but when I’m forced, I have a few tricks for getting the most out of my minimal efforts. 1. Wear heels: You’ll feel taller, thinner and confident. 2. Bright lips: If the thought of eyeshadow makes you want to crawl back into bed, brush on your basic coat of mascara and

eyeliner, then head for red or a pop of pink. It’ll brighten your complexion and give you an instant endorphin rush. My favourite colour pops are Nikki or So Chaud by MAC. If you’re on the go, always line your lips at home first, that way applying the bright shade in the car won’t get messy. 3. Reach for a blazer: A jacket will start and finish your outfit when you’re not in the mood for creativity. Slip one on with jeans or a skirt and you’re ready to go. You’ll look so neat-chic, you might even get a job offer waiting for your coffee. 4. Make ‘do: If makeup isn’t your thing, glam up your hair. Whether it’s a sleek ponytail or luxurious waves, you’ll feel done. A blowdry by one of the Marcus Edward team at the Marina Mirage always puts a bounce in my step. 5. Statement jewelry: I have this one J. Crew necklace I wear whenever I need a compliment. A great piece teamed with a tired t-shirt will pull focus from your exhaustion. Make the investment and reap the benefits. Good quality jewellery lasts longer than most relationships! Try Mimco or your closest antique jewelry store.

6. To the trenches: A trench coat can be both a light jacket, or act as a total outfit when paired with thicker stockings and ankle boots. Nothing screams casual elegance like a camel-toned coat. 7. Scarf yourself: A silk scarf will fast-pace you to glamazon and offers a quick way to cover up excessive cleavage without having to change your outfit.

AVA ANASTASIA DISCUSSES WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO EMBRACE STYLE, EVEN IF YOU’D RATHER WEAR YOUR LUMPY BLUE SWEATER. WORDS | Ava Anastasia

WHY YOU CAN’T OUTSMART STYLE

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OLD SCHOOL FUN

WORDS | Kyle Manning

INSPIRED BY A BLACK-OUT, KYLE MANNING WRITES ABOUT OLD SCHOOL WAYS OF PASSING THE TIME, AS WELL AS THEIR CONTEMPORARY DIGITAL COUNTERPARTS.

his time is being heralded as the digital era; the age of technology. There’s no denying all the positive things that these developments bring about. The internet and all its friends progressively grant us more and more opportunities to transcend time, space and reality. But sometimes we can get so caught up in our digital environment, that we forget to water the garden of real life. Gosh. That metaphor was awful… and that might be due to my imagination being stifled by repetitive browsing of online humour. We have this huge diversity of things we can do on a screen and with a gadget but – in the end – a screen is always a screen. So, inevitably, we are easily bored by our apps and games, constantly demanding something new and innovative to attract our focus (and money).

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Now I’m going to advertise to you five old school ways of having fun that don’t require a battery or a Wi-Fi connection. But, to prove to you that I’m not some crazy hermit who hates science, I’ll also analyse each activity’s modern day counterpart. Reading Great. You already know how. I would estimate that there’s a 50 per cent chance you’re reading this on a computer or mobile screen, thanks to Scope being uploaded online. For the rest of you, I suspect your experience is better. There is something almost magical about holding and reading a publication such as a magazine or novel. Somebody’s ideas have been transferred into words and are being accessed by people who have never met the writer before. Not only that, but

their thoughts and feelings, previously invisible and purely chemical, now take up a physical space in the world. With that said, digitisation can make reading just as rewarding, and often better, than reading the solid print out. The fundamental benefits of reading both fiction and non-fiction (building of knowledge, exercise of creativity and development of grammar) continue to exist regardless of their medium, providing that the content itself is good quality. Reading most things online is generally free and can open up people to new ideas. The platform of the web also allows writers to explore new systems of communicating which were previously unachievable. Board Games There’s nothing like the thrill of watching a friend land right on

Boardwalk, where you’ve just built a hotel. Or the ecstasy of finding a way to spell quiz over a triple point tile. Even the twists and turns of a simple game of Snakes & Ladders – we are indelibly destined to find joy in these events. No matter how interactive technology becomes, board games will always be a fantastic way of relieving boredom. The physical act of sitting around a board in itself is almost designed to create an intimate and rewarding experience for the players, as it mimics the traditional shape of a family having dinner together. The games themselves might be intellectually stimulating, or simply good for a laugh. Either way, they are a great tool for filling in time while bringing people closer together (even if on the surface it seems like it’s tearing them apart). Many popular board games have been converted for the digital playground, even if the names have been changed for legal reasons. Pictionary, Scrabble, Hangman and other favourites can now be played via Wi-Fi without any interpersonal reaction between the players. In one way, this is sad, as it creates an atmosphere of isolation inside a world where we are supposedly more connected than ever before. On the other hand, this phenomenon also enables us to compete against strangers, giving us the chance to meet new people. I doubt any long-term friendship has resulted from challenging a random on Words with Friends, but still, it can be a rewarding experience to interact with a variety of people from a variety of places. I know board games sounds like a limited category, but I also use it here to refer to other classic human-powered games, like cards and charades. You don’t need an actual board to fight away the bored. Let’s move to the next point before another terrible pun appears. Reality Shopping I find the benefits of retail therapy are somewhat diminished when the treatment is sought through the web - it could be the lack of customer-salesperson interaction. Sure, some people in retail stores are rude and seem to lack basic people skills, but many are helpful and friendly. When you’re looking for something just right, it’s always nice to enlist a paid worker to accompany you on the adventure of finding what you want. Their opinions on items, advice and aimless banter also add to the experience. As silly as it sounds, I do believe that physically handing over cash for desired items is an important element of retail therapy. It brings the satisfaction of a done deal, maybe even the smug idea that you’ve gotten a bargain. Entering your credit card number on a website just cannot provide this experience, as it is intrinsically virtual, which – as we are all probably aware – is dangerous for our budgets.

Another beauty of reality shopping is that it exercises your social muscles as much as your wallet; it lends itself to dragging friends or family along. Online shopping, the contemporary equivalent, is by nature a solo activity. Yes, depending on the item you’re shopping for, this might be more appropriate or comfortable. Also, the variety of available items increases on the online market, as the prices tend to dwindle. But, being at a keyboard drains a lot of the excitement that shopping can offer. Advantages can be found in both forms. Sports Playing sport or just exercising in general, is an easy way to fill in time while also releasing natural endorphins to make you feel good. I’m not talking about competitive sports or aspiring to be Olympic-class athletes. I’m referring to kicking a soccer ball on the street with friends, or walking to the park to feed the ducks*. One of the most dangerous things a lot of the younger generations do is stay inside more than they should. Yes, skin cancer is awful, but a small amount of sunshine each day is healthy and recommended as the primary source of Vitamin D. Playing sport casually with friends or as part of a club can help you develop a proportionately sized competitive streak that will assist you in life. It also fosters bonding; relationship development increases in speed when the members of the relationship go through strenuous events together. Hanging Out With emails, Facebook chat and texting, sometimes we can go weeks without talking face-to-face with the people we really care about. Don’t get me wrong, these

communications technologies are pricelessly useful; they allow us to talk without the barriers of distance or time, and use emoticons with facial expressions we could never enact in person. But nothing is a proper substitute for old-fashioned hanging out. Whether it’s over a meal or a coffee, face-time (not the app) is a vital building block for friendships and relationships. No person can replicate their personalities and mannerisms perfectly over text-based conversations. Chatting over a drink (alcoholic or non; caffeinated or non) is a great way to develop any kind of relationship with someone, whether it be professional, casual or intimate. Particularly if the beverage of choice is of a high standard, our brain creates a somewhat subconscious link between the good taste of our drink and the presence of the other person/s.

***** In conclusion, technology is certainly not a bad thing. The age we live in is marvellous. Technology offers us new ways to waste our time, while simultaneously providing innovative ways of experiencing old school activities in new exciting ways. I firmly believe that a good life consists of finding your ideal balance between brand new and timeless pastimes, rather than cutting out either one of them. *Disclaimer: Writer of article may or may not be a duck trying to con you into feeding him free bread. Quack.

S BLOG ngside this alo m e g– re-po u t my blo w c i p m o r f The n le of ho is take article a great examp up new re ed blogs a gy has open ding and o l ea o r n f h o t tec ys ing wa entertainmen t i c x e r n o o and i f t a , both form writing irement of in qu and ac

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ho am I? I’ve lived in Australia all my life, and I know the Gold Coast back to front. My mother’s tongue is Cantonese, but since I was three I’ve spoken fluent English. People tell me I’ve got a funny accent, not quite Australian but not quite anything else. My black hair has never needed a straightener. You guessed it: I’m a first-generation Australian-born Chinese (or what my mum affectionately calls an ABC). It’s almost like I’m living as two very separate independent people. One part of me understands it when a person says “Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca while chucking a you-ey on the way to a barbie”. The other part expects an “ai-yah” at the end of every exasperated sentence. And then you get Chinglish, where you’re so fed up trying to remember Chinese and English as separate languages that you blend them as one, and substitute English words into a Chinese sentence or Chinese words into an English sentence; much to the confusion of monolingual people. But it’s not just languages that get garbled and confused. As you probably already know, Australian cuisine is obviously very different from Asian food. Because the Chinese emphasise not wasting anything, I’ve been taught I have to finish everything that’s on my plate, which has really broadened my palette for food. I expect to eat barbequed lamb and prawns on Australia Day, and when Chinese New Year comes around, my family and I eat tossed Malaysian salad. It’s funny trying to talk my grandparents into eating steak and chips, when they can’t see why we can’t simply eat rice and five or six side dishes. And it’s hilarious when explaining to my Aussie friends that a hot pot is actually a meal, and not merely a pot that is warm to touch… Or the name of a restaurant. Other Australian experiences I can only envy. High expectations Asian father truly is not a joke – some of the memes I’ve seen have actually been demanded by my family. If I get 80 per cent, they will wonder why I didn’t get a HD. If I got a low HD, they’d question why I didn’t hit the 90 per cent region. Getting 98 or 99 per cent isn’t a saving grace either, because there should have been no excuse to not get the final 1-2 per cent. As for getting less than 80 per cent? It’s never happened, as evidenced by the fact I’m still breathing, and have mostly functioning body parts (okay, I am exaggerating that… mostly). On the other hand, I’ve had my Aussie friends

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get raises in allowances when they averaged a C+ at school, and when they failed assessments, their parents asked them to try harder. If only. Acceptable lengths of clothes also differ greatly depending on the culture. When it’s expected that young Aussie kids can wear mini shorts to the beach on a hot summer’s day, I am required to wear a skirt that covers my knees. Mind you, this does fluctuate depending on the family, but my family have always been modest and strict. I’ve been called a slut by my mum for wearing a dress that stopped just above my knees. I think I’ve learnt to accept the fact that unless I wear the equivalent amount of material of a tent, I’d be underdressed. I’ve had a few friends who’ve had the complete opposite experience to me, where they’ve been raised in an Asian country. Their identity is found in their culture, and they have travelled to Australia to study and live. It’s little wonder that when they get thrown in the deep end of Australian culture, they find that it’s hard to adjust to the trends and standards of Aussie life. Imagine the culture clash between being constantly surrounded by

your massive extended Asian family, to living with a couple of people in a dorm. Or speaking two or three languages fluently, and then not being able to understand a word of English. In some cases, these adjustments have been compounded by the fact that random Aussie teenagers have taken to harassing ‘foreign-looking people’ merely due to their skin colour, social interaction and speech. I have definitely had people judge me for who I am by what I look like, and denied me experiences such as jobs or acting roles. It’s only when I start speaking that they realise that I’m an Aussie and back off. I shouldn’t have to prove who I am to be accepted, and it’s sad that even in our modern, first-world country and culture, Australians still judge on face-value. It’s been a little confusing growing up and finding my identity. If I didn’t have a mirror, half the time I’d have thought I was Caucasian, just surrounded by an incredibly loud and overly attached Chinese family. But I’m 100 per cent Asian, and I’m 100 per cent Aussie. Which makes me 200 per cent pure craziness, ready to take on the world all the same.

AN EXTERNAL CLASH OF CULTURES IS ONE THING, BUT QUITE ANOTHER WHEN IT’S HAPPENING INSIDE YOUR HEAD – JUSTEEN CHAN SHARES. WORDS | Justeen Chan

GROWING UP CONFUSED

CONFESSIONS OF A (VERY)

FREQUENT FLYER

WORDS | Kristy Merganovski

36 5 123 FROM: GOLD COAST TO: MELBOURNE

used to love airports. I would get butterflies in my stomach as I approached the buildings, with my suitcase packed and the knowledge that I was going somewhere. A tropical holiday in the Whitsundays, or embarking on a new adventure with friends; it didn’t matter where I was going. Airports used to inspire hope, a change of pace and the unknown. Sadly, like many long-term relationships, my feelings over the last four years have changed. Don’t get me wrong, the international terminal still gets me giddy, but domestic air travel has become a chore, a bore and some days, a downright whore. She takes my money for a service I need, but I often leave feeling unsatisfied, ripped off and a little dirty. My time as an interstate student at Bond has turned flying into another form of public transport. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve travelled to and from Melbourne in the past four years. During a particularly busy week last year, I had flown the Gold Coast-Melbourne route five times. As I boarded a plane for the sixth time that week, a Jetstar flight attendant gave me an awkward smile and said, ‘Back again, Kristy?’, before I even handed her my boarding pass. She actually knew my name. For me, this was an all-time low at 30,000 feet. I’m sure many of you interstate and international Bondies will understand. Like supermodels, we must travel for our art, our passion and our careers. Also, like supermodels, we work in one of Australia’s finest holiday destinations, make the line at Don’s our fashion runway, and model for Shaun Rotman’s camera at any occasion. However, unlike supermodels, we are not actually earning an income from our extravagant lifestyles, and are therefore price sensitive when it comes to travel. With Qantas returning to Gold Coast Airport later this month, competition

KRISTY MERGANOVKSI

SCOPE AIRLINES

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between the airlines at Coolangatta is heating up. In my time as a Bondy, I have been loyal to no one airline, and have tried and tested them all. I am here to impart some wisdom on which of these companies will best meet your needs when you next choose to fly. Jetstar Jetstar and I have had a love/hate relationship over the years. Yes, we fight and I bitch to my girlfriends about them, but I keep coming back on board. They offer reasonable priced ‘starter fares’ if you book in advance, and have a huge selection of flights on popular routes all across Australia. Their website is easy to use and well-designed, the customer service on board is pleasant, and the inflight magazine has Sudoku to keep me entertained. My issue with Jetstar is that they have become sneaky with their add-ons and charges. Further to my annoyance, unless you have a Jetstar MasterCard, they will hit you for a $17 credit card charge. Once you’ve paid for luggage, seat selection and the card charges, their prices become a lot less reasonable. That, and the drab orange uniforms that the poor men and women have to wear, is enough to make me look elsewhere. Virgin Australia Flying Virgin Australia is like a breath of fresh air. Literally. Their airplanes just smell nicer. Perhaps it’s the scent of class that hangs in the air from the company’s recent rebranding to rival Qantas, but that classy feel translates all the way back to us in economy. It’s the little things that make flying with Virgin a pleasure. First, they are generally on time. In fact, Virgin Australia had the best arrival and departure times for all Australian domestic flights last month. Second, their uniforms for cabin crew are fabulous. Designed by Juli Grbac

A COMPARISON OF AUSTRALIA’S AIRLINES FROM SOMEONE WITH MILES OF EXPERIENCE. from Project Runway, the cherry red 1960’s shift dresses with lilac bow scarf are perfection. All of this does come at a price. A Virgin ‘saver fare’ is about $100 more than a Jetstar equivalent. With free tea and coffee as standard, and the luxury of an aerobridge at the Melbourne end of my journey, flying Virgin makes me feel that little bit more like Richard Branson. Tiger Airways There comes a time when my need for cheap air travel outweighs my desire to arrive safely. The grounding of the Tiger fleet last year for safety violations has turned many away from the budget airline. Tiger is back, and offers a smaller selection of flights at often ridiculously low prices. The pay off is that punctuality is not one of Tiger Airways’ strengths. Yet in a cruel irony, they expect you to be checked in 45 minutes before the flight departs. Yes, they weigh your hand luggage to ensure its exactly 7kgs. Yes, the terminal does look like a homeless shelter. However I have always arrived alive, and found the service to be friendly and comparable to what I paid. Tiger Airways may be the only airline I have ever seen the Australian Federal Police board the plane and arrest someone, but sometimes a $49 flight is too good to pass up.

***** So, if you can afford it, Virgin would be my best pick. Keep a look out for Virgin’s ‘Happy Hour’ discounts, available 4-6pm weekdays. If that still breaks the budget, be sure to shop around Jetstar’s sale fares. If you can stomach it, venture onto the Tiger website and grab a bargain, and perhaps a death wish.

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WEEK ONE Photographers: Jorja Wallace | Shaun Rotman

Event: Pub Crawl - End of the World: Zombie Apocalypse | Crawl One: Survivors (JW) | Crawl Two: Zombies (SR)

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HALL OF SHAME Disclaimer: Scope takes no responsibility for any embarrassment caused to those that appear in this spread. You may have had a ‘red face’, ‘bad hair’ or ‘stupid smile’ in the photos that appeared online, but aren’t you glad we kept the unmentionables in a safe place, never for publication. Until now...

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WEEK FOUR Photographers: Jona Villanueva | Stuart McKelvie | Shaun Rotman

Events: BIG Titans of Industry Forum (JV & SM) | Thursday Night @ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (SR) | Bond Scope Magazine Party @ Komune Beach Club & Resort (SR) | Grad Party (SR)

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Australian Institute of International Affairs

Cleaners do not remove until 25 October

AMPHITHEATRE

12-3p.m

WEDNESDAY WEEK 7

AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT THINK TANK WEEK

in conjunction with...

Bond African Students Association

B SA

LOOKING THE PART WORDS | Natasha Douglas & Rachel Unthank

IT’S WEEK 5, WHICH MEANS PRESENTATION ASSESSMENTS ARE LURKING AHEAD. NATASHA DOUGLAS AND RACHEL UNTHANK HAVE YOU COVERED THOUGH, WITH THEIR GUIDE TO DRESSING FOR PRESENTATIONS.

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ule 1: Too much of anything is not good. If you are showing too much cleavage, back, chest, leg or ANY stomach or underwear, you will not be taken seriously in your presentation. Too much colour can make you seem like an eccentric hermit that hasn’t braved the world of fashion in years. We know you are bright, we don’t need to visualise it. Makeup should be applied tastefully, not with a trowel. The art of understated elegance is a time-honoured tradition, and should be respected. Keep it light, fresh and neutral - no one is going to listen to the call-girl that is telling you about how to run your company. Choose colours that are either close to or complement your natural skin tone. Frosted lips make for a frosty reception, as this makes you look tacky and cheap. Now, when you go to the club, there is nothing better than the alluring smoky eyes. But in a business context, it is a little too sexy for a presentation in front of your lecturer. Don’t wear falsies, and go easy on the mascara - panda eyes are not an attractive look. Be wary of the fake tan trap; Dorito-raped does not make for a pretty picture – you are supposed

^ to glow, not look like you just came back from a vacation on the sun. One of the best tips is to wash off yesterday’s makeup. Makeup left on overnight ages your skin, and when you use yesterday’s makeup, you look rushed and not in control. You want to own that room AND that presentation, so work for it and look the part. All of you have probably walked into an elevator and stood beside a woman that had pretty much bathed in her perfume. Don’t make the same mistake. Overuse of perfume has even been known to induce asthma attacks. That’s certainly one way to make an impression… though maybe not the way you want to be remembered. Exercise restraint, a subtle hint of perfume is more alluring than a smack in the face with it. Rule 2: Too little is just as bad. Namely, material. When you are presenting, you are supposed to look and be presentable. You are representing yourself, not presenting yourself. Wear enough clothes to be tasteful. Dresses and skirts that sit no higher than two inches above the knee are perfectly acceptable, and you should be able to sit comfortably in public without having to adjust your clothing. Short tight skirts that sit mid-thigh, however, are not acceptable attire. Don’t show too much skin, as this is not a good way to engender trust in your ability to actually present your product or service. This means no mini-skirts, skorts, sun dresses, beach dresses or anything with spaghetti straps or transparent clothing, your whole class does not want to know what bra you have on today. Remember, you are selling your group or individual presentation, not yourself. Rule 3: Grooming makes up for anything your outfit lacks. A well-groomed individual can look good in whatever they are wearing. If you are a study abroad student and do not have the proper business attire, make sure that you still look like you have taken care with your image. Well-groomed means ensuring not

YOUR PRE-PRESENTATION CHECKLIST 1. Have you ever worn your outfit to a club? 2. Did you retrieve it from the floordrobe? 3. Is it wrinkly or in need of a wash? 4. Are you over-displaying flesh? 5. Are you abusing your right to wear accessories? 6. Do you look like a rejected extra from the muppets? 7. Do you look like you just came from Don’s at closing hour? 8. Do you smell like you were accosted by perfume salespeople? 9. Will you have to use multiple wipes to get off all of your makeup? 10. Will you look back in 10 years time and regret your outfit?

a hair is out of place, and being showered and clean. If you have tattoos, cover them up. Limit the number of visible piercings, and have a professional appearance with the aforementioned light makeup - this includes facial hair for gents (and some ladies). Grooming also includes the state of your clothing. Garments that are torn, dirty, smelly or frayed are inappropriate and sloppy. Also, business attire should be kept in your wardrobe, not on your floordrobe, in order to prevent your clothes wrinkling (this also means you don’t have to iron - bonus!). Your clothes should always appear to be new, and they shouldn’t show any signs of wear. Clothes, like people, need to be taken care of, and the more effort you put into keeping your clothes in good condition, the longer they will last. Rule 4: Dress UP not DOWN. When dressing for a presentation, err on the side of more professional than laidback. Although we are in Australia and Australians are known for their laidback attitude, we still have our pride. Jeans, sweatpants, exercise pants, Bermuda shorts, short shorts, shorts in general, and anything formfitting such as leggings are not acceptable. Nor are tank tops, midriff tops, shirts with potentially offensive motifs, halter tops, strapless or plunging necklines, sweatshirts and t-shirts (unless it is specifically required for your presentation). If you can wear it on a normal day to uni or in a club, generally you cannot wear it for a presentation. For the guys, don’t forget that proper professional length tie, as it just rounds off the outfit. Yes, those shirts with witty graphics can be funny and good for a laugh, but if you wear one to a presentation, you are basically stating that your presentation is laughable (and they may be deemed offensive to some people). Matching suits are always an easy option for any presentation, and will make you look the part. Ensure that your clothes fit or are tailored (even better), borrowing your boyfriend’s shirt is not really the best option, even if you did see it on 9GAG.

Rule 5: Don’t be OTT, but don’t just wear all black. Walking through the Bond campus in Weeks 11 and 12 can be a dull and dreary affair, as the life is sucked out by the black, grey and navy-clad pencil-pusher look-alikes. Don’t be afraid to add a splash of colour to your outfit to break up the ever-present monochrome. If you are wearing a black skirt and black pumps, try wearing a pink dress shirt to mix things up a little. Tasteful and understated jewellery can also be included with small accents of colour. Again, if you can wear it to the club, it might be a bit much. If you sparkle too much, you might be mistaken for a Cullen. Watches, rings, cufflinks and mangles are also acceptable accessories for men. Rule 6: Be presentation ready from head to toe. We have talked about hair and grooming, jewellery and clothes, and finally we reach the bottom: shoes. Ever been stuck listening to a presentation that is so boring you end up staring at the presenter’s footwear? The list of unacceptable footwear is rather long, and ranges from thongs/flip flops, ugg boots and sneakers, with a personal favourite faux pas being 6-inch patent platforms. If it is a shoe that can be worn on a Friday night in Surfers, then it is not appropriate to wear for a presentation. Men do not escape unscathed here either: leather Oxford-style business shoes are the only acceptable form of footwear for the gents. Also, ensuring your shoes are clean and evenly polished will go a very long way.

***** From top to bottom, you need to look appropriate for the presentation role. The checklist above is a guideline. If you answer yes to three or more questions, you are not bedecked in a presentation-worthy outfit.

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MY EXCHANGE SEMESTER

BONDIES ABROAD

YOU KNOW YOU’VE PICKED THE RIGHT COUNTRY WHEN…. WORDS & PHOTOS | Melanie McGuire

MELANIE MCGUIRE SENDS WORD FROM FRANCE ON HER EXCHANGE EXPERIENCE SO FAR.

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onjour to all my fellow Bondies of Semester 123! Greetings to you from Lyon, France. I’m Mel McGuire, and for those of you who don’t know me, I’m currently on exchange at the Université Catholique de Lyon. I’m here with two other Bondies, livin’ it up in Europe for the next four months (shout out to Julie Fox and Meera Sivanathan), and living by the old traveller’s mantra…YOLO. When Jorja asked me to write an article for Scope, I had no idea what to write. You would think that living in a foreign country would give me oodles to write about, but I didn’t want to just write about how amazing it is over here. No, instead I’ve given a number reasons why I know I’ve picked the right country for exchange. Here they are. 1. People kiss you to say hello… Ok, perhaps this isn’t as amazing as it sounds. When I first arrived in France, I was welcomed with open arms (and mouths) as ‘another Australian girl’. As you well know, when you meet someone in France they will say ‘Bonjour’ and then proceed to kiss you once on either cheek. Simple? No. Unfortunately, I found myself starting the kiss on the wrong cheek, and almost lip-locking with a number of perfectly lovely French students (male and female). You would think I wouldn’t mind ‘accidentally’ kissing a few male strangers, but when one of those people is your female program advisor, it gets a bit awkward. FYI the French kiss the left cheek first, and the right cheek second. For those of you that might come to France in the future, you’re welcome. 2. You meet people from all over the world… and are offered accommodation when you visit them (huge plus!). It seems obvious, but since coming to Lyon I’ve met people not only from all over France, but also from all over the world. So far, I’ve met people from the following locations: France (obvy), Russia, Spain, United Kingdom, Hungary, United States, Germany, Namibia, Ireland, Nigeria, Sweden, South Africa, Norway and Malaysia. 3. You still find the Aussies… Although I’ve met all these amazing people and hang out with them all the time, my core group of friends here is still a group of Aussies. Almost feels like home. 4. Möet and Chandon are €30 a bottle… don’t believe me?

5. Drinks are cheaper than food… This is legit. Wine costs €2.60 and chicken costs between €3-4. 6. Flights to Berlin, Budapest and London combined are cheaper than a single ticket to Melbourne… During the semester we get a oneweek break (it’s an improvement to Bond already), and we get an opportunity to ‘study before finals’. For the exchange/Erasmus students (ie. students from Europe doing exchange), it’s an opportunity to get some travel in. My friends and I booked tickets to Berlin and Budapest. Our flight to Berlin cost $80, to Budapest cost $52, and to London cost $46. Total = $178! Pretty good, I think. 7. You can go to Oktoberfest for the weekend… Yeah that’s right folks, I went to Oktoberfest. Probably the most exciting moment of my travels EVER. I went with three friends (including Meera), camped in just 3°C, spent €100 on a Dirndl (I know I know but it was so cute), and experienced the wonders of the Munich Beer Halls. 8. You get an extension for an assignment because you went away for the weekend… This is more of a half-truth. We were told the assignment would be due at the end of the semester, but they changed it last minute…very last minute. When we told them that we’d already booked a holiday, they were very accommodating and organised a different assignment for us, sent it to us later and let us hand it in later… but still.

9. On a more serious note, the university life and people are amazing… The University here is really cool. The Law Faculty organised a mentor/buddy/ friend for us to practice French with, and help us settle in. My buddy’s name is Hugo, and he absolutely loves any American TV show he can get his hands on. His English is amazing (…thank god), and he’s been a real help for me since I arrived. The subjects are really interesting here too – I’m taking International Intellectual Property Law (which I’ve already finished as it was an intensive), International Trade Organisations, European Union, International Business Law and International Business Ethics (why I chose to take another ethics subject is beyond me). So far, it’s been amazing. 10. You get views like this…

Applications for exchange semesters open the January and September semesters for the following January and September semesters. Seriously. YOLO. With love from France! SCOPE | ISSUE 36 FEATURES

FROM BOND TO REALITY KATE TIMMERMAN REFLECTS ON HER TIME AT BOND, GRADUATING AND TRANSITIONING INTO THE REAL WORLD. WORDS | Kate Timmerman PHOTO | Alan Timmerman

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hen I finished high school, our principal left us with the wisdom of Dr Seuss - the oft-quoted verse from ‘Oh, the Places You’ll Go’. Just like every student reading this, I came to Bond. While we all chose Bond for different reasons, there is – at its core – a community connection that every Bondy feels. A connection that brings us together, that promotes commitment to the university and supporting our friends. It binds the freshers with alumni, and keeps some students holding on for way too long. My time at Bond has challenged me like never before. It has been full of tears and joy, wins and losses, and – let’s face it – my fair share of tantrums. I have been involved in student associations, sporting clubs and the law school’s best way to ruin your social life: mooting. Each, in its own way, created my student experience, and built what I will look back on as my university days. As Saturday marked the day of my graduation, I realised what I would be leaving behind. At Bond, I have made lifelong friends, shared a journey like no other and grown to be the person I am today. As sad as leaving is, there is a whole world outside of Bond, ready to be explored. Graduation for me brings tears for what I am leaving behind, and the excitement for the opportunity the world holds. It’s obvious to me now that outside of Bond, nobody really cares which student association you were on, how much you contributed or, quite frankly, what you did at university. It’s only now that I look back and realise that it’s easy to get caught up in the ‘Bond Bubble’. It’s easy to think that if Whitehouse doesn’t run, if we lose a competition or an exam doesn’t go well, that life as we know it is over. But in the big scheme of things, it simply doesn’t matter. I’m not undermining the endless hours and dedication of student volunteers, my message is simply this: life goes on and you’ll get through it. The most important thing I have learnt at Bond is to choose your own path. To be the person you want to be, and do what suits you best. There is nothing worse than trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. For me, I hated clerking at a top-tier law firm. But, I have worked for nearly two years at a mid-tier firm, and truly enjoyed going to work each day. I made the choice to work at that firm, despite the pressure to choose top-tier. In my (nearly) four weeks of wisdom as a full-time employee, my message is simple – make choices that make you happy, and do not conform to your friend’s, family’s or anyone else’s concept of what is best for you. There are so many people that have made my years at Bond so memorable. I would like to express my appreciation to professors for their support, to all the Bondies for their kindness and to each and every person who has shared this journey with me.

KATE BRADY LISTS TWELVE THINGS YOU SHOULD DO BEFORE YOU GRADUATE.

T H E B O N D B

UCKET LIST WORDS | Kate Brady PHOTO | Shaun Rotman

o fellow Bondies, as this is Jorja’s last edition of Scope, I thought I would write about something that happens to everyone - the prospect of graduating from university. For someone like myself, it is fast approaching and quite scary, especially when you do not have a job; but that is another story. So, before I graduate, I feel there are some things I need to do. I have decided to put together a guide of things to do before you leave Bond. I am no expert on this, except for the fact I am graduating. I also am not an expert on how to party, especially considering that if you know me well, you know I do not make it out after an event (and sometimes rarely make it to an event). Sarah Pascoe I am talking about you too! Anyway, here is a guide of things to partake in before you leave. I strongly recommend number 11. ***** 1. Swim in the lake. I know everyone says this, but you have to do it, and do it successfully (which means not getting caught by security). 2. Go out sober and dance all night. I’ve never done this, but it could be fun. 3. Explore this beautiful campus. Go up the Bell Tower, and go into the Med Building - their art collection is quite amazing. 4. Play a prank on someone, especially if you live on campus. Having successfully done a few of these now, they are fun; particularly when the person you are doing

it to doesn’t respond. If you don’t have anyone to do it to, Jon Stone is always a fan (sorry Jon). 5. Get involved. It is never too late. Go and volunteer. 6. Go fishing in Lake Orr when you are bored. Fishing rods are available for $5 from Kmart, and can provide half a day of fun if you are girl, and much more if you are a guy. 7. If you live on campus, try and go to every eatery in Varsity Lakes, especially Blackboard, Cherry Blossom, Krish Indian etc. They are within walking distance, and let’s face it, so much better than Café Bond. 8. Conform to the Bond way. If you don’t have an Apple product – buy one. 9. Lie on the Ornamental Lawns for a long period of time, it is actually quite relaxing. 10. Go to every event, or at least try to. They are fun. You don’t have to drink or go out afterwards, but at least go for a bit. It will give you the opportunity to meet a lot of fun-loving people, and create long-lasting memories. 11. Buy some games to occupy yourselves. South Tower has recently obtained a dartboard, a mini golf set and some chalk. Chalk is a great way to occupy your time when you feel the walls are caving in. Just look at the back of South Tower for proof that chalk is not only for two year olds. 12. Finally, I have to think of one more because ending on 11 is weird. So just have fun, go and explore the GC and get amongst it. Definitely hit up Burleigh Juice on a summer’s day.

***** So there you go, a guide of what to do before you graduate. Obviously I did not think of all these, and may have cheated and found some on a really weird website (I do not advocate that you do these and get caught). For all the fellow graduates, I hope your time at Bond has been as memorable as mine, and that your future is bright. As your time comes to an end at Bond, and for some living on campus, you begin to feel sentimental about all the things you have accomplished, or not, at Bond. For me, ten weeks will go by so quickly, and then the prospect of graduating will really be here. It is a scary thought right now, and not one I wish to think of. As much as I dislike studying, Bond has a way of making you feel a part of something that you do not want to leave. University is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night? To end this clichéd article, I have chosen a quote to sum up what university is really about. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. Dr Seuss SCOPE | ISSUE 36 FEATURES

TOWARDS BUSA 2.0

he votes have been tallied and the results have now been announced. Last week, the Progress ticket was elected the next Management Committee of the Bond University Student Association (BUSA). I am truly honoured to be elected the fifth president of BUSA, and humbled that my team were elected with perhaps the largest majority of votes in our association’s history. The Bond University Student Association is our university’s peak representative body, and the organisation charged with serving the interests of all students enrolled at Bond. Responsible for services across sporting, recreational, educational and administrative arms, BUSA is a key custodian of our world-class student experience. We take the reigns of BUSA at a pivotal time. This term will see us represent more students than ever before. In this time, these students will pay a record $1.1 million in Student Activity Membership (SAM) fees. As the majority beneficiary of these SAM funds, BUSA will be tasked with allocating much of this to over 75 cultural clubs and sporting societies, and four faculty student associations. These exciting times present equally exciting opportunities for BUSA and Bond students as a whole. More than anything though, they present a need for sound, effective and proven leadership. Those who voted in last week’s elections have trusted me and my team to deliver precisely this. This is a trust we take seriously, and an expectation we will work hard to ensure is met and exceeded. We take over the leadership of BUSA with a raft of policies designed to make a great student experience even greater. My ‘crystal clear’ policy is a commitment to a BUSA that is more open, transparent and accountable than ever before. Meanwhile, our BUSA Master Plan will move towards longterm strategic plans across sport, recreation, education, administration and finance.

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In education, Rupert Holden, Harriet Johnston and Thinesh Thillai are committed to continuing the momentum I built as Vice-President. With a particular focus on digital learning, I-Bond will work to see changes that stick as a result of our Academic Audit. Our advocacy services will increase in breadth and depth as we open new doors to students. All the while, Thinesh will be knocking on my door to ensure that the post-graduate students he represents are getting value for money with their SAM contributions. The education evolution of BUSA will continue in earnest. Throughout the recreation portfolios, Fiona Self, Carl Wibroe, Dora Huang and Rhys Larsen will ensure Bond’s world-renowned social life continues to grow from strength to strength. Whether it is Fiona’s vision to innovate and collaborate, Dora’s club start-up initiative, Rhys’ Wednesday by the Water shake-up, or Carl’s ‘Benefits for Bondies’ program, recreation at BUSA is in safe hands. Our sport pod is home to the dynamic trio of James Mulholland, Zoe Kaesehagen and Jose Ausejo. All of who are ready, willing and able to keep sport in the game. A Bullsharks website, a comprehensive Sports Sponsorship Portfolio, and long-overdue capital investment in sporting clubs like rowing, will build an unbeatable Bullsharks brand. Last but certainly not least, Administration and Finance are in for a bumper year. Melanie Hayden will lead our crystal clear agenda. Emilie Soust has been elected to broaden sponsorship to corporate relations. Caroline Stanley is well-placed to take over as editor of Scope, the voice of our student body. Mitchell Willocks has his work cut out for him in guiding BondSync to its potential, and overhauling the Student Portal. Across all our services, Casey Schneeberger has a rock-solid commitment to making every dollar count.

WORDS | Matthew McLean PHOTO | Shaun Rotman

I have handpicked a team of committed, courageous and capable individuals. Each of them has my complete and utter confidence, and I can’t wait to work with them for the benefits of Bond students. BUSA should be a student association where all Bondies can come together and no one is left behind. The student experience is enjoyed by so many, and SAM provides most with a value for money ten-times over. Nevertheless, there are groups of students who do not always receive bang for buck. They deserve better, and we are determined to ensure our post-graduate, mature, medical and international students don’t get left behind. The keystone of my time at the helm of this association will be BUSA 2.0. With new leadership, we will take an already great organisation to even greater new heights. Across the board, portfolios will be taken up a level to serve more students, deliver better services and heighten the student experience. Over the past twelve months, I have worked hard to deliver for the students of Bond but there is still more to be done. I look forward to working with and for you.

MATTHEW MCLEAN IS THE NEWLY ELECTED PRESIDENT OF BUSA FOR 2012/2013, AND FORMERLY SERVED AS BUSA’S VICE-PRESIDENT OF EDUCATION.

PROJECT KINDNESS WORDS | Andrew Dennis

kind·ness /kīn(d)nis/ Noun: The quality of being friendly, generous and considerate.

en, women and children of Bond University - times are a-changin’. The strange tradition of starting a new era in October each year is unique to the Bond universe. With the welcoming of the new BUSA as well as a new driver of the Scope machine, it seems appropriate for me to encourage you to be involved with such changes, and make a new ‘Bond’ year resolution. It has become apparent over the past few years that there has been a decline in real-world goodness; a goodness that we can feel, that we can see and that we can share. Australia’s identity is based on the ideals of mateship and kindness, however with the rise of technological dependence we are experiencing a decrease in real life interaction with family, friends and, most notably, strangers. This change in society has meant that we live in a darker time. A time where eye contact is made on rare occasions, where strangers cannot be trusted and where faith in one another is on the verge of being lost completely. Think back to a time when you actually connected with a stranger; the eye contact and smile with the person on public transport, the awkward clashing-sideway-step on the footpath, or even the long conversation with the friendly barista taking your coffee order. It’s a bloody good feeling, and these are just some of the easier acts of kindness. 2012/2013 can be our chance to start a positive change, and restore the significance placed on developing and maintaining positive relationships. At the beginning of this year, the ‘1 Million Acts of Kindness’ campaign was born with the aim to, “encourage us to perform random acts of kindness to ourselves, loved ones, acquaintances, strangers, animals and even the environment – to help create a happier, healthier and more trusting environment.” I urge you all to jump online and register with the campaign. You will be motivated by weekly plans, kindness suggestions, heartwarming stories, instructional videos, personalised tools and trackers. You can even register under the Bond University team so we can track how ‘kind’ our uni is becoming.

So throw some kindness into the word and see how it responds. It doesn’t have to be time consuming, it doesn’t have to be expensive and you don’t even need to plan it. Make it random, make it sincere and do it with purpose. Like the Dalai Lama says, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” To register with the ‘1 Million Acts of Kindness’ campaign head to, http://1millionacts.com.au and join the ‘Bond University’ team. If you want to share your random acts of kindness stories, email bondkindness@gmail.com.

ANDY EXPLORES THE NOTION OF BEING KIND, AND WHY IT’S AN INVESTMENT FOR ALL BONDIES IN THE ‘NEW YEAR’.

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SCOPE | ISSUE 36 FEATURES

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MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS D WORDS | Thomas Webster

BEATS

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MUSIC INDUSTRY SONG: Thrift Shop feat. Wanz ARTIST: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis VERDICT: Useless piece of shit

“

No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist.

OSCAR WILDE

ear Music Industry, I did not realise that it was possible to incorporate everything that is horribly wrong about your world into one somewhat catchy tune, that seems like it has been spawned by the offspring of Liberace and Bondi Hipsters. Since when did ridiculous lyrics, simple drum lines and a few synthesisers warrant a good track? Lucky for you, I happen to know exactly when; since we, as a generation, became prominently dumb. For, who else would choose to listen to the likes of Gangnam Style, or any LMFAO track without having some sort of brain damage? Maybe that’s a little harsh, but you would definitely not catch me listening to these tracks without a good thrashing of hard liquor in my system. Considering my current situation of only undertaking one subject, I would be lying if I said I hadn’t heard my fair share. It seems that the original rock and roll style of tight jeans, denim jackets, mascara and headbands has been replaced with another sort of ‘rock’ icon – The Idiotic Popstar. Gold chains, hipster haircuts, puffy and/or fluffy coats, boat shoes and pink chinos are just some of the combinations that are making a splash all around the world. I blame another source of musical Satan: The X Factor. I’ll leave that topic for another day, and for another 500 words. I would love to give you a background as to what has made this song/ artist famous all over the world, but frankly I

”

couldn’t give a flying fuck. Like a moth to a light bulb, I think it’s quite obvious that these days flashing objects, ridiculous lyrics and expensive music video budgets attract the masses. It isn’t uncommon for DJ’s to be interrupted by cries of, “Play Call Me Maybe!”, or for the iPod at a house party to be disconnected for every single person in the room to start doing the semi-retardedAsian-soldier-boy-dance mirrored in this years greatest hit, Gangnam Style. I mean seriously!?! Being a musician, I may have a slight bias towards popular music tracks and trends. I understand the entertainment value these tracks have to the drinking culture of our youth, but there seems to be a neverending stream of useless songs, produced by useless people, making useless businessmen and executives money; money that could be spent on fostering and nurturing actually TALENTED individuals. For a song review, I haven’t mentioned much about the actual song, and yet I feel like my disdain for it has been reflected in my rambling. I would never deny that this track is catchy – and I even caught myself humming along to the hook of the song – a random black man singing “I’m gonna pop some tags, only got 20 dollars in my pocket”. Look, if you want an awesome balance of talent, oddball ex-husband and wife South-Africans, Zef style and banging basslines – check out Die Antwood on YouTube. It will blow your mind.

^ PHOTO | Chris William Mulyadi

ARIA TOP 50 URBAN SINGLES

#1 I CRY

SHUTTERBUG

SCOPE | ISSUE 36 MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS

FLO RIDA

was late to the Taken bandwagon. I remember sitting down on a Sunday back in 2010, nursing a hangover with an (un)healthy dose of KFC and the DVD of Taken. In the DVD went, and for the next 93 minutes I was enraptured by the 21st century’s quintessential bad-ass, courtesy of Liam Neeson. When rumours of Taken 2 first surfaced last year, and were later confirmed, I was ecstatic. Walking into the cinema on Friday, I was incredulous to the prospect that Taken 2 would not be anything but glorious. Walking out, I was apoplectic. Taken 2 is a bad film that you should not see. While the first Taken’s script was by no means Oscar-worthy, Taken knew what film it was and spent the minimal amount of time required to set up the catalyst that would unleash Bryan Mills (Neeson) on the streets of France. Action thrillers are naturally pulpy, with the scripting taking a backseat for wellcoordinated action sequences and gripping visual stimulus. Taken 2 is a step below. The fact that it leans on exposition is akin to using your broken left foot as support whilst on crutches, when you have a perfectly fine right foot. The dialogue sequences are ham-fisted and unconvincing, made worse by the fact that they have been protracted beyond reason. The antagonists - relatives of the deceased lackeys from Taken - are not even the reasonable choice, considering Mills killed some very rich and resourceful individuals also. At least these guys have brothers (who you think would have

SARAH BLASKO’S I AWAKE (2012) WORDS | Andrew Dibden

ustralian female vocalist Sarah Blasko went to great lengths to produce her fourth studio album. Literally. I Awake was recorded in Stockholm, Sweden and Sofia, Bulgaria. In addition, Blasko was accompanied by the Bulgarian Symphony Orchestra, which brought unprecedented musical breadth to this album. For those of you who are new to Miss Blasko (as I was until very recently), she is a two-time Aria award winner, with a further 14 nominations, and has won triple j’s Album of the Year. Her voice is unique (some may be familiar with her unmistakable cover of Outkast’s ‘Hey Ya’), or at least would be unique if it weren’t now the same as so many other #quoteunquoteindiefemalevocalists. That said, her voice maintains an ethereal quality (such as in ‘New Country’) that speaks with a coy innocence that is playfully pure. In an industry increasingly populated by solo artists attempting to differentiate themselves, it is hard to do something new. With about as

joined in on the original ploy for vengeance), so expect Tak3n in 2015, starring an even more insalubrious Liam Neeson. The action sequences are equally boring. From what looks like a game of ‘slapsies’ with Adidas-clad Albanians, to lying directly at the feet of an attacker to hide (seriously?), Taken 2 attempts to create flashy scenes that are largely absurd and, again, unconvincing. There was a certain degree of practicality to Taken’s combat, where hiding among dead bodies or continually glassing an enemy, while gritty and un-gentlemanly, held a kind of ‘get-shit-done’ attitude. That feeling is just not present in Taken 2, and that is what is so disappointing about it. Instead, you are left wondering how a teenage girl can casually lob grenades around in public without attracting the immediate attention of the Turkish Police. There is only so much of a suspension of disbelief one can commit to. It breaks my heart to look back at these vitriol-laced words. Taken 2 had such promise and potential to add to the already stellar line-up of action films over the past few months. Unfortunately, it became so bogged down in exposition and MacGyver-esque tactics, that the few strong moments could not help to replicate what made Taken such a surprise hit. Please, do not watch this film. Instead, take a permanent marker, find the original Taken, and simply draw a ‘2’ on it. Put it in your Blu-Ray player and watch that instead. You can thank me later.

many surprises as a box of Cadbury Favourites, and about as challenging as a McDonald’s play mat puzzle, there is certainly nothing in all the 46.40 minutes to inflame the senses. Despite an overwhelming vanilla flavour and a general abundance of clichés (both musical and lyrical), Blasko’s album stands somewhat above the crowd. If all solo vocal albums were vanilla ice cream, I Awake would be an expensive Italian gelato. Her lyrics are not heavy-hitting by any means, but they lure you in, and for me, there is enough nuance and variation to keep me listening. Adopting a conversational tone layered over bare-basics instrumentation, Blasko offers a pleasantly paced saunter through the musical musings of the album. The strings of the Bulgarian Symphony certainly lift the album beyond mere adequacy, and their incorporation is both purposeful and powerful. The album seems to wind its way from start to finish, opening with the driving drums of title-track ‘I Awake’, through to the stringed crescendo of ‘Not Yet’. Her better moments come when she plucks up some attitude, and really tries to tell you something (as in ‘God-Fearing’ and ‘Fool’). Before embarking on this review, I familiarised myself with some of Blasko’s other work, and to be honest I sort of wished I hadn’t. I found myself constantly finding more of her previous work I liked more than her current

FLICKS

TAKEN 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO PHOTO | Jon Dodd

offering – but maybe that’s just me. What I can say is that her latest album, I Awake, doesn’t greatly depart from the Sarah Blasko of the past, but it does show some growth in her sound and, while no Shostakovich of complexity, displays some technical maturity. Try I Awake if you like: Lisa Mitchell, Kate Miller-Heidke, vanilla ice-cream.1 The album in three tracks: (#3). Bury This, (#9). Fool; and (#11). An Oyster, A Pearl. 1. Because I haven’t flogged this dead horse enough yet.

BEATS SCOPE | ISSUE 36 MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS

BUFC AWARDS Photographer: Jorja Wallace

Event: 2012 Bond AFL Best & Fairest Awards @ Hotel CBD, Varsity Lakes Winners: David Tyquin | Sam Murphy | Malcolm Hatfield | Jesse Green

SCOPE | ISSUE 36 SPORT

SPORT

BOND UNIVERSITY BLUES AWARDS DINNER

he Bond University Blues Awards Dinner is Bond Sport’s night of nights. The event will be a celebration of the sporting achievements of our athletes and sporting clubs, as well as a reflection on the past year of sport at Bond. Over the years, sportsmen and sportswomen have been recognised for their outstanding sporting achievements, and for enhancing the reputation of university sport. Awards Dinner & Reservations The Blues Awards Dinner will be held on Thursday October 25, at The University Club. The event will commence at 6.30pm, and includes a three course meal and beverages. Tickets can be purchased on BondSync (https://orgsync.com/39668/ forms/54001), and are payable on your meal card. Alternatively, cash payments are payable to the Campus Life Office (Building 9, Level 2). Tickets are $60 for students, or $40 for AUS event participants. We are also very excited to have Bond Olympians Matt Belcher and Jade Neilsen joining us for the evening for a Q&A session. If you have any questions for either of these Olympians, email them through to jyounger@bond.edu.au Awards & Eligibility Criteria The following awards will be presented on Thursday October 25, at the Blues Awards Dinner: SPORTSMAN OF THE YEAR SPORTSWOMAN OF THE YEAR UNIVERSITY BLUES AND HALF-BLUES SPORTING SILK CHAMPION CLUB OUTSTANDING SERVICE TO SPORT We are now calling for nominations for the above awards. Eligibility criteria and nomination forms are available on BondSync (https://orgsync.com/39668/forms/53997), or a hard copy can be collected from the Sports Centre or Campus Life Office.

PERSONAL TRAINING

WORDS | From the Sports Officer

hat made you decide to do a personal training session? (CK): “Well I said to James Cornish via Facebook that I needed to do a workout tomorrow (Sunday), so he said we should do a workout together, which soon turned into a surprise personal training session. I hardly ever make it to the gym, and prefer to do my own private workout sessions; or cheerleading back in the day. I find it better to have someone to work out with for motivation, and since my best friend Georgie Talbutt is over in New York, I needed to find a new work out buddy.”

time. It was actually a really intensive 45-minute workout, which was totally unexpected. It was really hard compared to my average step class or yoga workout.”

What did you do in your session with James? (CK): “Well we mainly did cardio exercises, step runs, push ups, core exercises and sprints etc.”

Do you think personal training is a worthwhile investment? (CK): “Well yes, if you want to stay or get fit, or lack the motivation it’s definitely a good idea. I really just want to maintain my weight at this point. I would certainly recommend it, especially if you want to be able to take advantage of being able to eat more in a day!”

Did you have any areas or fitness goals you wanted to focus on before you went into the session? (CK): “Not really. I usually go into every workout with the intention of slacking off, but it didn’t happen this

Did you prefer the session to a regular session at the gym? (CK): “Definitely, I usually get bored on the gym equipment. I used to like running on the treadmill but I started to get knee pain. I also like running cross country, but I haven’t done that since I moved to Bond, because it’s a bit weird running in circles around campus.”

WORDS | Rebecca Thompson & Caroline Kovac

RES WARS: BEACH VOLLEYBALL WORDS | Hannah West

each Volleyball returned with a bang this semester, as our American study abroad students proved to be a strength in numbers and playing ability. With the standard of games considerably higher than previous semesters, there where some competitive match ups throughout the evening. Old hands and legends of the Beach Volleyball round of the Res Wars competition, such as North Tower Res Fellow Henry Norris, lived up to their reputations of being nifty on the sand, but had their work cut out for them as the Reds and Devils, comprising of international study abroad

students, kept them busy. B Block is still benefiting from having a larger turn out than past semesters in both their male and female teams, gaining a few players with competitive streaks, resulting in a strong performance. The usual force of Res Wars - A Block - suffered due to low numbers early in the night, largely due to the notorious ‘Animal House’ and ‘Dungeon’ residents proving to be unreliable at times. A Block females were also low on numbers, but Green Machine girls suffered for the same reason, so the playing field remained fair. Thanks must be made to the AC girls, who kindly stepped in to assist teams struggling at times – it’s what Res Wars is all about. Boys: (1) Reds; (2) B Block; (3) A Block; (4) Green Machine; (5) Devils. Girls: (1) B Block; (2) Reds; (3) Devils; (4) Green Machine; (5) A Block. MVPs: Corey Vocal, Red Devils; and Racheal Dempsey, B Block Bandits.

SCOPE | ISSUE 36 SPORT

Bondy Banter

GOOD ADVICE IS HARD TO COME BY... SO HERE ARE A FEW TIPS FROM SCOPE • Change is good. Embrace it. • Make the most of your time not only at Bond, but also on the Gold Coast. It may seem like a drag now, but when you’re at the end you find yourself scrambling to create a ‘Bucket List’. • Get involved in competitions - most of the time they’re piss easy. • The best place for music online is www.grooveshark.com. • Buy a cheap digi-cam and document your time at Bond.

LET MEEEE EDUCATE YOU

Goannas can reach two metres in length from nose to tail tip.

DID YOU KNOW...

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY...

1865 - The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 1886 - The dinner jacket made its U.S. debut at a ball in Tuxedo Park, New York. It was named tuxedo, after its venue. Griswold Lorillard designed it. 1943 - Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president of China. 1962 - The BBC banned the song Monster Mash by Bobby “Boris” Pickett. 1973 - Fiji became independent after nearly a century of British rule. 1986 - An estimated 1,500 people were killed when an earthquake measuring 7.5 on the Richter Scale struck San Salvador, El Salvador. 1995 - Gary Kasparov won a chess championship against Viswanathan Anand that had lasted about a month.

HOT Hot bodies at Rugby 7’s training Beach weather Revenge Season 2 Kununurra Project Aussie Battler Style The Physical: Army Bootcamp Roxette Swapping sleepless nights for SVU 2012 Student Yearbook Shaun Rotman’s photography Joining a gym Chicken soup Finding money in your pocket NOT Six hours of class on your birthday Receiving a parking ticket from campus security in your own res car park Parking Graduating friends leaving Bond for good Lies

Catachresis [kat-uh-kree-sis]

noun Misuse or strained use of words, as in a mixed metaphor, occurring either in error or for rhetorical effect. Examples of catachresis “Joe will have kittens when he hears this!” “I will sing victories for you.” “The runner literally flew down the track.”

HOT or NOT

WEEKLY WISDOM

“

A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more.

“

Steve Prefontaine SCOPE | ISSUE 36 BONDY BANTER

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