Scope Issue 23 Week 3 Sem 122 by Bond University Student Association

Issue 23

Week 3 Sem 122

scope Scope is proudly brought to you by BUSA and a dedicated group of student volunteers. Scope: By STUDENTS for STUDENTS

PUBLICATIONS DIRECTOR EDITOR IN CHIEF GRAPHIC DESIGNER Jorja-Lee Wallace

The views and opinions expressed in Scope do not necessarily represent those of the Scope team, the Publications Director or BUSA. facebook.com/scope.bond bondstudents.com

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 CONTENTS

CONTENTS

FEATURES EDITOR | Shannan Carroll SUB-EDITOR | Bonnie Whitehead SUB-EDITOR | Kyle Manning

3. FROM THE DESK OF 4. YOUTH SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN POLITICS - AND HERE’S WHY 5. EXPERIENCE POINTS GAINED 6. THE SUBTLE ART OF SNOOZING 7. MAYBE THE MAYANS PREDICTED THE END OF THE FACEBOOK WORLD? 8. MOOTING, MANAGE-

MENT, SPORTS... DEBATING? 9. BASA 10. OVERGRAD SCHEDULE 12. PHOTOS 16. POSTERS 18. MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS 20. SPORT 22. BONDY BANTER 24. OF THE WEEK 26. POSTERS 28. WHAT’S ON

FROM THE DESK OF THE EDITOR

An Education Evolution…

he message is loud and clear, students expect more from BUSA and they expect bang for buck from SAM. Year after year we see it in the BUSA Satisfaction Survey and we heard it more than ever in the debate on compulsory SAM. On top of the student wish-list is a greater scope of educational services. Since election late last year, BUSA has worked hard to deliver in educational services and academic affairs. The education arm of BUSA consists of the Vice-President (Education), Advocacy Director, Special Interests Director and PostGraduate Student Liaison. We have all been burning the midnight oil to serve you and here is a small sample of some of the things we have done: • Established the Education and Academic Affairs Council, bringing together permanently and periodically the education arm of BUSA and all Faculty Student Association Academic Affairs Directors. • Authored the Academic Audit. To be released later this semester, the first-ever student-led, rootand-branch, 360-degree analysis of all education policy and academic practice at Bond. • EducationGateway. A onestop-shop portal to more than one hundred links, guides, contacts and brochures; to provide everything you need to complete your studies at your fingertips on BondSync. • EducationQuarter. A quarterly publication to keep you in the loop on the policy feedback and education representations BUSA makes on your behalf.

WORDS | Jorja Wallace

• Bond in Africa Program (BAfrica). An inaugural expedition of a soon-to-be annual program that will take Bond students to Africa. This August, 25 Bond students will travel to Malawi to help the local community. • Advocacy Pack. A comprehensive guide to university appeal and decision-review procedures, making the appellate process just that little bit easier for students. • Expansion of the Legal Referral Service. The ongoing extension of a program offering free legal advice to students. • OverGrad. A week-long festival celebrating our Post-Graduate students, featuring Shades of Grey, Lunch with Finch and Cougars and CraddleRobbers. • Record Revision Seminars. In the semesters since taking office, more revision seminars have been provided to students than ever before. • Teaching with Technology Position Paper. Presented to the ViceChancellor this has secured a trial of extended Library and MLC opening hours, a commitment to Single Authentication, and a working party on the online submission and marking of assignments. • BUSA Textbook Subsidy. Which funded the administration costs of the HSA Book Sale and saved students thousands of dollars. Not all students want to go to Don’s or join a cultural club and sporting society, but all students have a vested interest in education and the work BUSA is doing in this area represents an investment in the education of all students.

ne of my absolute favourite things about living and studying here at Bond, is the supportive atmosphere that engulfs our beautiful campus. Whether it’s sending tutorial notes to an ill classmate, carrying a drunken newbie (or sometimes seasoned Bondy) back to the Blocks from old mate Don’s, or cheering on a friend as they consume an entire kilogram of Buffalo chicken wings. Yes, that’s right - I actually ate the entire kilo. No one’s sure how, but let’s just say it hasn’t been difficult undertaking the 40-hour famine since that meal (see the damage below). If you’re wondering where you can get your hands on some of these delicious wings, you should definitely pencil Don’s into your diaries (Student Diary of course, thanks SAM) from 6-8pm every Tuesday night. There is something wonderfully disgusting about stuffing yourself until you are fuller than a fat girl’s frock, just to say, that’s right bitches I can do it. For the strong, macho males - it’s probably an easy feat. But for the ladies who can never seem to finish off that quesadilla from the Bra, it’s definitely an uphill battle. That said however, some of the males adorning the seats near me failed to finish their serving. Weak. Enough clucking about chicken, this week Scope is full of Scopetastic articles from politics (pg.4) to Facebook (pg.7); and don’t forget the awesome photos from Whitehouse! Until next week dear Bondies, I hope to see you all at the Funhouse tomorrow night.

THE VICE-PRESIDENT OF EDUCATION WORDS | Matthew McLean

JW SCOPE | ISSUE 23 FROM THE DESK OF

YOUTH SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN POLITICS – AND HERE’S WHY WORDS | Shintaro Koido

SHINTARO KOIDO EXPLAINS HOW YOUTH CAN, AND DO, MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE POLITICAL ARENA.

n last week’s Scope, we read the words of a young man who, like many others not totally involved in politics, can’t see how it affects him, throws his vote away and also states how political organisations don’t target him. I have to say that politics is part of everyday life, from putting out the bins on a particular day to paying our taxes come June, and unless the

youth themselves get involved, then there’s no reason for politicians to listen or target them. We do live in a privileged system, where no matter your race, creed, or gender, as long as you’re over 18, you have the right and the responsibility to vote. Through this vote, Australians can rightly say that they had the chance to make their voices heard, their issues known, and that politicians do have to listen to them. However, if there’s a disaffected group that has no interest in learning or getting involved, then a gap is formed in the public policy formation process. Our political parties are central to finding and implementing new ideas to reform Australia and make us more competitive in the international economic system, and making Australia a more compassionate society. Youth in political parties can, and do, make a difference. In my own party, Young LNPers took part in campaigns throughout the state, travelling from seat to seat to ensure a CanDo Government was elected with a sufficient mandate for change. Within the policy process, policies such as Voluntary Student Unionism, apolitical lecturing and student support are key planks of youth activism in

politics. All is not lost for the youth of today. Here at Bond, it is fantastic that we have so many clubs dedicated to political discussion and conversation. Bond Politik, the Young LNP and BUPALS all seek to ensure that as students, we are part of the conversation as much as the businessman or the artist. In the state and national arena, young people do run for office, and sometimes they even win. Member for Longman, Wyatt Roy, comes to mind, as do Neil Symes, Verity Barton and Jarod Bleijie. We’re coming up to a decision point as to what kind of society we want to grow up in. Should we get to retire at 67? What role does the government play in our lives? Should we do more to help the needy in society and, if so, what’s the best method? Whichever political flag you fly, or even if you’re a genuine swinging voter, you should get involved. You’re Australian, you are a stakeholder in the country and if you don’t care which way it’s heading, then why should the older generation care? Shintaro Koido is the President of Bond Young LNP

“ 4

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 FEATURES

I have to say that politics is part of everyday life, from putting out the bins on a particular day to paying our taxes come June, and unless the youth themselves get involved, then there’s no reason for politicians to listen or target them

”

THERE MIGHT NOT BE ROOM FOR EVERYONE AT THE

TOP, BUT PASSING UP ON THE EXPERIENCE IS A MISTAKE.

he writer and poet Oscar Wilde famously said, “experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes”. Not only is this a line from Lady Windermere’s Fan, but it is also a line to live by. Though we may strive to always be the best, or top things where we can, there isn’t always room for everyone at the top. And the days that we don’t win, the days when things just don’t go our way, can always be referred to as an experience. They say that throughout our human development there is a shift from ‘innocence’ to ‘experience’, in that our time on this planet shapes who we are. Experience is mostly a good thing - many of us may not get the careers we’re looking for without having a certain amount of experience under our belt. But then there are experiences that we regret. The times when we aimed for one thing and received the opposite. Our mistakes. In a way, it is true that an experienced person is one who had their own history of mistakes and that is an important statement. As we have grown,

we have learned to be more cautious after a few bumps and scratches along the way. Many of us should have, by now, learnt that staying out in the sun too long unprotected will lead to us burning our skin and increasing our risk of cancer. We have learnt that going out the week before an assignment is due will not result in us handing in our best work. We have learnt that having a fully charged phone while out on the town may result in us telling everyone on our contacts list that we love them. In short, the more mistakes we make, the better equipped we can be at tackling the real world. Within reason. In school (and some classes here at university) I have been told that it is ok to make mistakes in class, because making mistakes now is better than making mistakes in the professional world. By making mistakes, we become more experienced, and with that we are more ready for life after education. But there are some people who hate admitting that they have made

a mistake, and prefer to place the blame on someone else (customer service/ retail jobs, anyone?) and they cannot be avoided. It is important to know however, that they are the ones who never learn. The ones who may get skin cancer, who hand in poor assignments, and profess their love to their friends and family on a weekly, text-based basis. So next time something doesn’t quite go as planned, think of it as an experience. You are only better because of it. So while I agree with Oscar Wilde, I say this: in the end, I will either be highly experienced, or sadly mistaken.

“

They say that throughout our human development there is a shift from ‘innocence’ to ‘experience’, in that our time on this planet shapes who we are

EXPERIENCE POINTS GAINED

WORDS | Ross Healy

”

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 FEATURES

“

You know the feeling, you enter that lecture theatre and sleep is the only thing you’re thinking about.

WORDS | Anon.

” THE SUBTLE ART OF SNOOZING

A PROFESSIONAL SLEEPER GIVES US THE LOW-DOWN ON

STAYING AWAKE OR (IF ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY) SLEEPING IN LECTURES.

ome lucky people don’t have to endure the torture of 8am classes. Others are free to study their degree without pulling a part-time job. Some people have enough foresight (coughlameness-cough) to avoid massive headaches after a Thursday night at Don’s. And then… there’s everyone else. The rest of us, those who have had a late night, are exhausted from work or are just down-right tired. You know the feeling, you enter that lecture theatre and sleep is the only thing you’re thinking about. You’re going to this lecture either because they take attendance or you really, really, need to take notes for this week’s topic. Because, let’s be honest: if you didn’t have to be there, you wouldn’t be. So, for those compulsory bitches – I mean – lectures, here are some tips to stay awake: 1. Take sips of water at regular intervals (say every 15-20 minutes). The constant hydration, combined with the intense fear of falling asleep and wetting yourself, should keep your eyes open. 2. If the lecture topics aren’t too heavy, doodle or play a game. Needless to say, you shouldn’t make it obvious (if your lecturer doesn’t hate you by the end of it, classmates around you will). There should be enough distraction for you to stay awake and still stay focused on the lecturer.

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 FEATURES

3. Take full advantage of the break – go out, get some fresh air, talk to people, run. Interaction will definitely keep you conscious because you can’t be a passive participant in a conversation... well, in a reasonable conversation (basically, make sure you’re not talking to an egocentric, narcissistic wanker – so tough luck if it’s a law lecture). 4. As an emergency precaution, have a friend punch you during the lecture if you start falling asleep. Make sure you make it clear to your friend that they are still your friend and this is not a licence for abuse. This is quite effective because embarrassment is a good trigger to keep you awake. The only potential problem: if you’re both relying on each other for this, and you both hit the hay instead of each other. However, sometimes life just gets too much. If you find yourself falling asleep after doing all of the above, you might as well give up. Generally (and if you want to save your dignity) this is not recommended, but here’s some advice for those desperate to take a nap during lectures: 1. As soon as you sit down and get yourself settled in, immediately assume your sleeping position (go for subtlety) and don’t move. For example, rest your arm on the armrest and rest your head on your hand,

like you’re thinking. That way when you really do fall asleep, your head won’t loll about. The key thing is to make sure you’re looking down at your ‘notes’ the whole time – don’t ever look up because you won’t be looking up when you’re sleeping. 2. Make sure you have a book or laptop open and a pen in your hand. It doesn’t matter if you don’t normally take notes during any given lecture. To the teacher, it looks like you’re doing something. 3. This is hard to avoid when you’re unconscious, but snoring, drooling or mumbling never helped anyone pretending to be awake. Not only that, but people sitting next to you won’t be speaking to you ever again. 4. Obviously, if you can, take the seats at the back of the lecture theatre. The back seats in Theatre 4 are particularly good because there’s a wall to rest your head against, and Cerum Theatre seats are high enough for support as well. You pick up on these tricks when you sleep around as much as I do. I hope that you won’t need to take these steps, but if you do, I hope no one catches you doing it. For now, happy studying and sleeping!

es Scope readers, you read correctly. This is no joke, scam or hoodwink. I am going where no man or woman has gone before. I’m defying the mediocrity that is posted on the World Wide Web and bravely predicting the downfall of the social media giant Facebook. While you may be laughing at me right now (thinking, “who is the dickhead?”), this article will show that Facebook, and founder Mark Zuckerberg, are up shit creek without a paddle. For those who haven’t been watching the news over the last week, Facebook has been embroiled in scandal, with disgruntled investors lodging a lawsuit in the Manhattan U.S. District Court. It is alleged that Facebook and investment banks Goldman Sachs, J.P. Morgan, Morgan Stanley and Merrill Lynch did not disclose sensitive information that would negatively affect Facebook’s share price. With potential litigation set to cost Zuckerberg and his social media empire billions of dollars, there is a very real possibility that Facebook could be going down the gurgler. The whole affair is much more entertaining than the Craig Thompson prostitution scandal circulating Australian politics (he just wanted some loving), but not quite as entertaining as Charlie Sheen and his ‘tiger blood’. However, this article doesn’t end there. While writing this, I started to wonder what enlightened Bond students would do if the social media supremo were to crumble. What would you do in lectures, when creeping Facebook is more productive than listen-

ing to the content? What would you do when you’re sitting by yourself in the Library? (Jks, I have friends). And what are you going to do in study week when you’re brain dead and all you can think about is the Bond University Meme page? To answer these questions, I came up with four alternatives to Facebook. 1. Table Tennis: We’ve all seen those videos of table tennis wizards from

are pool tables in Don’s, but if you feel like telling people you live in B block, then there is a slightly cheaper alternative in the blocks. Who knows, if you become as good at pool as writing shitty statuses on Facebook, then you might be able to enter into the pool tournament at Hotel CBD on Monday nights and earn yourself some mullah. 3. Playstation or Xbox in the MLC: We’ve all been there. We’ve all walked past those people in the booths at the MLC, playing on the PS3’s or Xbox’s, pretending we hate them (but secretly wishing we can join in). Well it’s time we stopped hating. There is no better substitute for Facebook than knifing or head shotting other people while playing COD. And best of all you can borrow the games from the library – winning. 4. Twitter: For all those with an insatiable appetite for social media, than Twitter may be the last resort for you. It may also be the last resort to lose your dignity, along with Kyle Sandilands and Joey Barton. I hope these alternative activities are able to provide as much satisfaction as Facebook. Get amongst it.

{ } What would you do in lectures, when creeping Facebook is more productive than listening to the content?

China showing off (I mean, why do you need to stand so far back from the table?). While you may not be at their standard, the fact that you can effectively play miniature tennis indoors, without having to wear gym gear, is a gift in itself. Table tennis is an awesome game, and comes with the added bonus of improving your cardiovascular fitness (Wikipedia, 2012). If you’re keen there is a table tennis table in the gym. 2. Pool: And by pool I don’t mean the swimming type. Pool is a great substitute for Facebook, utilising hand skills that would otherwise have been used for typing a shit status that just makes you look stupid. There

FACEBOOK

MIGHT BE TEETERING ON THE EDGE OF NON-EXISTENCE, BUT ALTERNATIVES TO FB DO EXIST.

WORDS | Matthew Jones

MAYBE THE MAYANS PREDICTED THE END OF THE FACEBOOK WORLD? SCOPE | ISSUE 23 FEATURES

MOOTING, MANAGEMENT, SPORTS…

DEBATING? 8

WORDS | Jacqui Hagger

ONE OF BOND’S NEWEST CLUBS DETAILS HOW YOU CAN GET INVOLVED IN DEBATING.

n the last 12 months, Bondies have advocated their way to international mooting success in Hong Kong, India, China and the Hague; managed their way to the Global Management Challenge in Ukraine; and even frozen their way to way to victory in Northern University Games in Armidale… now it’s time for Bond to shine in debating! Following the success of the HSA’s The Chancellor’s Debating Competition in 121, and in response to growing demand for a debating program at Bond, the Bond Debating Union (BDU) has been established. BDU will be running a semesterly competition, The Union’s Debating Competition, to be held in Week 4; and will also be establishing a feeder team to engage in state, national and international competitions, including Easter’s, the Australasian Intervarsity Debating Championships (Australs), Queensland Universities Debating Championships (QLD Cup) and World’s University Debating Championships. The Union’s Debating Competition will be an amazing opportunity for students to strengthen their skills in communication and analysis. Not only will this be a friendly competition for students but this is also a great way to practise public speaking and presentation skills. Such skills are advantageous for university assessment but also give you an edge in the workplace. So, no matter what semester or degree, this competition

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 CLUBS & SOCIETIES

is for you! So, what is actually is debating? Debating is all about the art of persuasion. The goal of debating is for your audience, and especially the adjudicator, to align with your argument and consider that particular belief, adopt that particular approach or pursue a particular action. There are different styles of debating: World and American parliamentary debates as well as Australian Debating Federation debating. The former is adopted within majority of secondary school debating competitions and amateur tertiary competitions, and will form the foundation for The Union’s Debating Competition in Week 4. Although argument is crucial in debating, it is not the only consideration in determining the extent to which a debater is persuasive. The measures of effectiveness encompass all aspects of the speaker’s debate, and are outlined as ‘matter’, ‘manner and ‘method’. Matter is essentially the content of the debater’s presentation, as separate from the presentation style of the speaker (manner) and the structure of the presentation (method). For The Union’s Debating Competitions, adjudicators will consider matter, manner and method in deciding which team wins. The role of the adjudicator is to decide which team has won the debate, provide reasoning for the decision and provide constructive feedback.

Want to know more? BDU will be running a welcome and information session on 4 June (Monday, Week 4) at 6:00pm in 4_3_37 in the Law Faculty. The Union’s executive committee will run through all the information you need to debate like a pro. Plus, we won’t let you go hungry, pizza will be provided! Keen to sign up? All students are welcome to sign up – just join us on BondSync and Facebook (‘Bond Debating Union (‘BDU’)). We have a link to a Google Doc where you’ll be able to select a heat time for your team. All teams must have three members. Each speaker will speak for four minutes in the heats, six minutes in the semi-finals and eight minutes in the grand final. The heats will entail 30 minutes of preparation time and approximately 30 minutes of debating, so please ensure your whole team is available for the full duration. We have two divisions: Junior and Intermediate. You will qualify for the junior category if you are in your first three semesters and have not competed in a university level debating competition before (i.e. Australs, Easters, QLD Cup etc), otherwise you will qualify as intermediate. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact bonddebatingunion@gmail. com. Don’t wait – debate!

“I dream of the realisation of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of the continent.” – Nelson Mandela The African continent is so misunderstood. Thoughts often cloud our minds, and images of poverty, civil war, safaris and disease can represent common thought. Kai Krause discovered that the geographical mass of China, the United States, India, Mexico, Japan and much of the Western European states, could all fit within the continent of Africa; despite being portrayed as small on a world map. It has been forgotten, neglected and undermined for too long. The world, in particular the Western world, tend to create this general image of Africa: poverty stricken, lacking in governance, and ridden with diseases and famine. Humanity is so quick to condemn and recognise the bad, yet so reluctant to praise and celebrate our successes and positives. Often we go, we ignite change and then our time runs out. We head home and things head right in the same direction. Change is quite often lost. The Bond African Students Association (BASA) was launched by one of my dearest friends, Sapphire Parsons, an aspiring young woman and law student originally from Zimbabwe. She, along with Vice President Tawanda Biti, strung a group together to form an executive all dedicated to the same cause. “Through BASA I hope to promote African development and foster the mindset prerequisite to convert African poverty into prosperity; this mindset is uniting African and international awareness and commitment to combating challenges affecting the continent,” says Sapphire. Committed to giving back to her country, BASA’s Treasurer Manuela Mwilambwe from South Africa, hopes to

return home after university - “Africa is my home, that’s where my roots are and where I want to go back to once I’m old and grey.” Manuela hopes to be part of the generation that facilitates a step towards change. Like the other two, our (very) Social Events Coordinator, Keitumetse Kgarimetsa from South Africa, shares a similar dream and celebrates the beauty Africa has to offer - “Africa a country which is for love, a country which is for peace and unity, a country which is for joy, a country which is for wealth. A country of Ubuntu, blessed with the wonderful wild where lions roar, and the sun embraces the blue sky. Where people dance to the heartbeat of the drums, showing that its people may one day stand together.” Like all of us, Keitumetse hopes

to be a part of the dream where one’s ethnic background will not count. “I intend to help retain the respect, dignity and integrity we once so cherished,” says Keitumetse. Each member of BASA has a similar dream. With my position of Secretary, as a non-African student, I plan to spread the message that you do not need to be African to be part of the change. My desire to work in North Africa differs from the other executive members, yet we all share the interests and overarching goal of creating a united and diverse Africa. One that all people of the international community will love, cherish and celebrate. If you are interested in BASA and our upcoming events, please feel free to contact one of us!

IF YOU’RE

SCRATCHING YOUR HEAD WONDERING WHAT ‘BASA’ IS, MADDISON CASSIDY IS HERE TO ANSWER YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS.

WORDS | Maddison Cassidy IMAGE | Supplied by BASA

BASA SCOPE | ISSUE 23 CLUBS & SOCIETIES

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 OVERGRAD

WEEK TWO

Photographers: Jona Villanueva (pgs. 12-13) | Shaun Rotman (pgs. 14-15) Events: WBTW Week Two | Whitehouse 122: Full Moon Party

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 PHOTOS

Monday Week 4 (04/6/2012): - 10-11am: Career Planning; Drill 1, Session 1 Tuesday Week 4 (05/6/2012): - 10-11am: Career Planning; Drill 1, Session 2 - 1-2pm: Career Planning; Drill 1, Session 3 - 3-4pm: Resume and Applications; Drill 2, Session 1

Wednesday Week 4 (06/6/2012): - 10-11am: Resume and Applications; Drill 2, Session 2 - 2-3pm: Resume and Applications; Drill 2, Session 3 - 3-4pm: Interview Tips; Drill 3, Session 1 Thursday Week 4 (07/6/2012): - 10-11am: Interview Tips; Drill 3, Session 2 - 12-1pm: Interview Tips; Drill 3, Session 3

LAST DINOSAURS IN A MILLION YEARS (2012) WORDS | Emily McGregor Fighter without fire, nothing to inspire, In a million years when we’re older Finally we can be part of history”

risbane boys Last Dinosaurs have successfully released an absolutely incredible debut titled, In a Million Years. The album encompasses all facets and stages of social interaction, from the first to the last impressions. If you are a fan of Salvadors (‘Atacama Disco’ & ‘Wilson’), then you will most definitely enjoy this album as much as I did. The rock/power pop four-piece teamed together in high-school in 2007, and submitted their tracks to triple j Unearthed. It wasn’t long before triple j realised the musical jackpot that is Last Dinosaurs, and they were interviewed on various radio programs, with their song ‘Honolulu’ going viral. Due to their popularity, they were invited to play at Splendour in the Grass 2010, Laneway 2011 sideshows supporting Foals (holy balls!), and Falls Festival 2010. They have supported acts including Foster the People, Matt & Kim and the Grates. Lead vocalist and guitarist, Sean Caskey describes the track ‘Zoom’ (available on the In a Million Years album) as: “[T]he best song for summing up the lyrical content of the album… It looks at the impressions you make on others and vice versa, and being significant or influential in some way on someone’s life”. The chorus of ‘Zoom’ illustrates Sean’s sentiment:

…It’s definitely not hard to see their lyrical genius. My own personal favourite of the album is three-tiered, including ‘Andy’, ‘Weekend’, and the all-time newbie-favourite ‘Time & Place’. If I had to choose, it would definitely be ‘Weekend’. ‘Weekend’ reminds me of my schooling years, punk music, guitars in the garage, puppy love and stupid late nights where you are too young to go anywhere, but far too old to sit around at home with your parents. “Do you really want it?” is sung repetitively towards the end, both passionately and figuratively, beckoning you to remember that time you made that stupid mistake, that time when you chose not to risk it, or that time when you were questioning a decision right in front of you. I can’t help but get chills down my spine… the chills get worse when Lachlan Caskey strums the shit out of his guitar. Just listen to it. I encourage everyone to seek out this song, and lie on your bed with a huge set of goofy headphones, in your underpants, with knee-length socks and just nod your head. P.S. Don’t hate me because the lyrics are simplistic and perhaps ‘silly’ to some, they are meant to be remnant of the good-old days. Ours, not your parents. I’ll give you a taste to satiate your already burning desire to listen to the song: “I’d die for you any day, My life’s over anyway. Let’s go to the park and talk till it’s really dark…” That’s right. You just got goosebumps.

“I don’t want to be just another,

MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS 18

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS

TALENT TIME EUROVISION 2012 WORDS | Paris Faint

Boys and girls, once every year there comes a magical time when the clothes become brighter, the music is turned up louder and everybody aligns themselves to an obscure European country for the Eurovision song contest. It’s the only week of the year that’s better than Christmas time, because all of the drinking, eating and dancing you do on one Christmas day is spread out over an entire week. On Sunday I had to stay away from television and the Internet for six whole hours in order to keep myself from accidentally finding out the winner of Eurovision before I watched it on prime time SBS. Now that the moment has passed where I have drank my weight in Jägermeister, eaten twice my weight in swiss chocolate, and donned three times my weight in ridiculous colourful clothing, I can disclose (some of) the events of the night. The contest opened with an anti-bang, as Engelbert Humperdinck took to the stage for Britain with his song ‘Love Will Set You Free’. In his defence, it was an alright song until the whole singing thing started. Pottering along we got to Russia, the very essence of Eurovision: six grandmas dressed in patchwork quilts, baking cookies and singing a techno song about having a good old fashioned dance. The vodka was pretty much rolling off tap for the Russian grannies. Along the way we had the favourite Sweden (which was misspelled on the screen by SBS to say ‘Sweeden’... rookie error guys), Turks2Men: the hipster pirates, Ireland dressed as C3P0 in his dinner suit, and Moldova showcasing Colin Farrell as their lead singer. There was even a song by Romania that opened with a moonwalking Romanian bagpiper, backed up by a techno Caribbean song with English lyrics; very much an affront on the nationalist senses. The only thing that depresses me about Eurovision, is the fact that you can almost always pick the winner if you’ve gone into the experience knowing the bookies’ favourite. It didn’t come as a surprise that crab-walking ‘Sweeden’ won with their song ‘Euphoria’, because basically everybody in Europe had been frothing at the mouth over it for weeks before the contest began. All in all I was pleased that Eurovision has still kept some of its crazy flavour, I was pleased that an alright song ended up winning, and I was pleased that with all the silly Euro-dancing going on in my house people actually managed to avoid breaking stuff.

SHUTTERBUG IMAGE | Putu Fabian

Max Payne is a fish out of water; a weathered soul from a previous existence. He lives in a selfinduced purgatory of painkillers and whiskey, while protecting one of the richest families in Sao Paolo, Brazil. He constantly relives the consequences of his past actions, which led to the death of his wife and daughter. Unfortunately, for a bodyguard like Max, he could never manage to save lives with his bullets; he could only take them. Despite this, as an arbiter of vengeance, it fits like a glove. On another note, Rockstar stands on similar ground. Renowned for their sandbox design and multi-faceted gameplay, Rockstar’s Vancouver studio was forced to take a step back and deliver a much more concise and restricted experience. However, they still had to stay true to the foundations that original developer Remedy lay with the previous two games, while still retaining those thematic undertones that Rockstar are notorious for. In the end, Max Payne 3 is the company’s most mechanically refined and allround polished title ever. In my opinion, it is also their best game. Driven out of New Jersey, partly by his addictions, Max reluctantly takes an offer

to work as a bodyguard for the wealthy family of Rodrigo Branco. Despite a deep-seeded hatred for the affluent, Max hangs onto his job because it is all that he has left. Perhaps the job was a chance for atonement, to protect someone, anyone, who needs protection. Perhaps Max compensates for his failure to protect those he cherished deeply, and eventually rekindle his own life. Sadly, trouble is never absent and Max must use his apparently cursed abilities to hunt down those responsible for kidnapping Rodrigo’s wife, Fabiano. The game benefits from the concentration of Rockstar’s systems. Their much-improved RAGEengine, combined with NaturalMotion’s Euphoria character behaviour system, delivers an unmatched realism in character animation. Max and his enemies move with an astounding fluidity. Every movement that Max makes feels like how a battered, older Max should feel. Each dive is executed almost begrudgingly, and the recovery looks just as painful. Cover fire behaviour is frantic and visceral. Enemies crumple seamlessly in proportion to the placement of each kill shot. Comparatively, certain physics hiccups exist in Max Payne 3. For example, a gratuitous

amount of ragdoll from bullet wounds. These glitches can hinder Max’s ability to activate a last minute headshot, and bring him back from the brink of death (a new ability that consumes one set of painkillers automatically if critical blow is delivered to Max). It can detract from the dark tones of the game, but these a few and far between. Max Payne 3 is simplistic in its gameplay endeavours to provide a rock-solid shooter, which Rockstar impeccably delivers. The excellent neo-noir delivery of the narrative and brilliantly scored soundtrack carries the tension throughout the game’s twelve-hour campaign. Nevertheless, it’s the thrill of shoot dodging, clambering to your feet and finishing off an office space full of armoured mercenaries, all in slow motion that fulfils a certain itch last scratched in 2003. The gritty act may be a hard pill to swallow, even with a nip of whiskey, but that’s just the nature of the beast. Slip on the glove.

MAX PAYNE 3 DEVELOPED BY ROCKSTAR VANCOUVER WORDS | Jonathan Dodd

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 MUSIC, ARTS & REVIEWS

FROM THE SPORTS OFFICE T

his Thursday 31st May will see Bond take on Griffith across seven sports including Basketball, Badminton, Netball, Soccer, Touch, Volleyball and Water Polo. These games will provide a great warm up for NUG’s later this semester. Bond is yet to win a Rival Night, and will be looking to make tomorrow night our first ever Rival Night victory! If you are not participating in any of the events, make sure you come along and support. The afternoon will kick off with women’s touch at 4pm on the Rugby Field. A free BBQ for all participants will start at 7:30pm, poolside. After the conclusion of the final match – Men’s Water Polo, presentations will begin. Hope to see everyone there!

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 SPORT

es Wars in May has never looked so good. A record turnout for the year’s quietest semester made for an exciting start to the revamped Res Wars program. May usually sees small teams from all four residences, however strong showing across the board saw more than 120 students grace the dodgeball courts to battle for Res Wars glory. Equal playing fields and expert umpiring resulted in hard-fought games by both male and female teams. A Block, the dodgeball experts, as usual had competitive teams giving other residences a run for their money from the very beginning. Green Machine, which is made up from residents from North and South towers had their best attendance rate in

semesters, fielding more than 30 players. Their numbers proved valuable, resulting in Green Machine taking out the first week, winning the girls’ competition and only just beaten by A Block in the boys’ competition. It was a close and lucky win, with a count-back of round-robin games required to determine the overall winners. Most valuable players were Stuart McKelvie (A Block) for the gentlemen, and CJ from Green Machine for the ladies; who both won an iTunes gift voucher for their good work. Join us in Week 3 for our new event, ‘Scavenger Hunt’. Meet at the Sports Hall. Hope to see you there!

DODGEBALL

SUPPORT YOUR FELLOW BONDIES!

et to the Shark Tank this Friday and show some support for the Bond AFL boys, as they take on their cross state rivals under the lights. DEETS What? Round 7: Bond Uni vs Ballina Bombers When? Friday June 1 at 7.15pm Where? Robina Roos Australian Rules Football Club (Cnr Scottsdale Drive & Prospect Court, Gold Coast, QLD 4226)

WORDS | Hannah West

RIVAL NIGHT

SPORT THE MANIFESTO FOR BEING GOOD AT SPORT WORDS | Pat and Al

eing good at sport is the single most important aspect of being a human. How and why you may ask? Let us explain and take you back to where it all began. We had just finished up a massive bicep session in the Gym, (as they say, curls get the girls…) before making our way up to the balcony of A Block, each with a chicken in hand to feed our incredibly fast metabolisms. We sat on the balcony observing a game of backyard cricket, played by a bunch of guys who, let’s just say were not very good at sport. As the game was played out, we both came to the realisation that we were utterly disgusted with people who are not good at sport, for our realisation led us to the conclusion that if one is lacking in the sporting category, one is also lacking in his or her entire life. In between demolishing our chickens, we occasionally gazed over at the cricket game that was taking

place. Watching these blokes try and play cricket was like watching a group of fouryear-olds trying to lick their elbow and bite their ear at the same time, while running around in circles. It was at this point that we both simultaneously remarked, “F**k I hate people who are not good at sport”. Sporting prowess and being good at life are seemingly synonymous. As they say… “The fastest gets paid and the fastest gets laid”. Don’t believe us? Let’s take a look at Mark Webber. Born and raised in Queanbeyan (far from the golden lined streets of Monaco), Webber is one of the highest paid athletes in the world. Why? Simple, because he is good at sport. Individuals who are good at sport typically have good bodies, this makes them more attractive to the opposite sex. As a result their better bodies have many more options than an ugly person when it comes to choosing a mate. Because of the shear attractiveness of the couple, they have lots of sex and make lots of really hot babies. They in turn grow up being naturally better at sport and are hotter, all because of their genetic make-up and the high emphasis placed upon them about being good at sport. And thus Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution and Survival of the Fittest is repeated and society gains. Studies have been conducted (by Al and Pat) that more attractive people are generally more successful. This success can be attributed to them being good at sport. In the end the two go hand in hand. Why do you think they don’t use ugly girls as Victoria Secret models? The short answer is, no one would buy underpants from Victoria Secret if Gisele Bundchen looked like Roger off American Dad. Now I know many of the people who suck at sport and read this article will say that Gisele Bundchen is not an athlete… we argue this by saying being hot is a sport. Plain and simple. Also a very important tip to remember: there is a direct correlation between the size of a girl’s hooped earrings and how much of a slut she is. If you’re offended by this article, you are not good at sport.

n era at Bond is generally a quick one. The three semester turn over leads to the constant influx of new faces and goodbyes to those who we felt only just joined us. But even as it’s out with the old and in with the new, something always stays the same – THE BONDY SPIRIT. Recently Emma Lago and Sophie VonZeppelin ended their era as Bond University Cheerleading Club’s President and Vice President. The unprecedented growth and success of the club can only be attributed to the hard work and commitment of these girls, who turned a dance-based group into a fully-fledged and well established nationally competing cheerleading squad. As their era comes to an end we not only reflect on their achievements but look to the future. Not just the future of Bond Cheer but the future of Bond sport, and in particular the Bondy Spirit. So to mark this occasion Bond Cheer in conjunction with BUSA bring you the War Cry Competition. We want YOU to come up with a brand new BOND WAR CRY! Entries are open now and there are amazing prizes to be won! Mail entries to bond.cheer@hotmail.com Prizes include: $600 Accor Voucher!

HEY BOND, HEY WHAT, HEY BOND, HEY WHAT HEY WHAT, HOW DO YOU SPELL YOUR VICTORY, I SPLIT MY ‘V’ I DOT MY ‘I’ I CURL MY ‘CTORY’ WORDS | Rachael Cage

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 SPORT

Bondy Banter

GOOD ADVICE IS HARD TO COME BY... SO HERE’S SOME FRIENDLY TIPS FROM SCOPE • NOT buying a Palaver ticket in your first semester is a bad decision; one you will always regret.

• Get good grades AND THEN get involved. People respect good grades.

• Goon isn’t goon when you pour it into a cup. • When you really like someone you want to kiss them, but when you don’t, you don’t.

I remember a day when I could log in to Facebook and blissfully ignore the rabble who had messaged me throughout the night. I could open their chats and with a wry smile contemplate how best to sardonically respond. Sometimes this would take me days, followed by a short “Oh, haha, I didn’t have access to the internet – sorry for the late reply”. Sometimes I’d never reply and pretend like I hadn’t received the message - but no matter what I did, I could take my sweet ass time doing it.

But now? Much to my chagrin Facebook has deemed it appropriate to inform the world of my viewing, and what’s more, display the intrepid laxity in which I indulge my timing of reply. The only thing worse than having the plebs know that I’ve consciously ignored them, is the stark realization that I too am a pleb; apparently this misanthropy is epidemic, and more often than I’d care to admit am I the target of e-shunning.

Scarves The Library being like the Artic/Antarctic all year round Rival Night this Thursday Palaver: Funhouse Bondstock 2012 Teaser Week in 5 Weeks Toad in the hole Eurovision 2012 OverGrad + Morning Tea + Postgrads + Cougars & Cradle Robbers

Still snowing in Norway

THE RAGE TRAIN

reetings Scope-siders, Gossip-Goat here; your one of many unreliable sources into the realistically dull lives of Bond’s self-proclaimed elite. This week a public warning is in issue, as rumour has it a certain Bondy has returned from her drunken storm of Turkey, and can now be seen back strutting her stuff under the Arch. Three-time winner of Bond’s prestigious Poser Award, long-running member of the cheerleading squad and all-round party animal (known to do solo vodka shots in the bath-

The A/C cranking in every lecture theatre

NOT The heaters in the Batlabs

FROM THE FRESHERS OF 122...

Et tu, Facebook? Et tu?

HOT Food at Don’s again

Parking Stale bread sandwiches Parking infringements No Rival Night rugby

HOT or NOT rooms at Bond events), has decided to grace the Gold Coast with her tanned and toned presence once more; and we hear she is wasting no time in making her coming home debut at Palaver. Watch out for your camera Shaun Rotman, Zoe Kaesehagen is back on campus. In other news, unsubstantiated rumours that a 40-hour hunger strike on campus (could be because Bra food is so bad, could be for charity…we don’t know), will be coming to a close with a free food frenzy for all those who participated at the Hub on Thursday, has been circulating. BUFFS, get amongst it.

XOXO GOSSIP GOAT SCOPE | ISSUE 23 BONDY BANTER

BOND CLASSIFIEDS Looking to buy or sell something? Want to advertise a room for rent? Need a hot date for the weekend? Then this section is for you! Bond Classifieds is a free service for all Bondies, where you can advertise anything from textbooks to rooms for rent.

alent shows cater for all ages and interests. Anything can happen, anything considered a talent can be showcased and anyone can showcase anything. This is why I love talent shows; each act is a surprise. It keeps me interested, curious as to who is going to do what, next. And, sometimes the acts are terrible, and brilliant, and brilliantly terrible, but it’s that which makes them entertaining. Great things can also come from talent shows, think Susan Boyle, Britney Spears, One Direction and Justice Crew. It is in discovering such talents, which make talent shows so popular and inspire others to participate. Talent shows encourage self-confidence, determination, and persistence; which is a healthy change from other mainstream shows. Realistically, not everyone enjoys watching talent shows. Indeed, they may even find them demoralising, pointless and ridiculous. Yet, whether you like them or not, you can’t help but watch.

FOR

Just send in your ad (maximum 50 words), together with your SID number and contact details to scope.bond@gmail. com DEADLINE: 4pm Monday of the week you wish for your ad to appear.

MASTER DEBATER

TALENT SHOWS

hen resources are plentiful, army ants capture members of smaller ant species and keep them as pets.

DID YOU KNOW...

rom televised broadcast to the dusty floors of high-school stages, it seems we’re all captivated by the idea of massing together to partake in cringe-worthy displays of self-obsession, self-depreciation and social self-immolation (metaphorically speaking, although I wouldn’t contest someone has tried to pass that off as a talent). I think I could best describe the said atrocities as kind of like roadkill combined with The Biggest Loser: they’re disgusting, but there’s something about them that you just can’t help but watch, and in doing so, experience a rush that could only be attributed to the esteem boost that comes from knowing there are people out there substantially more retarded at life than you. I guess the biggest problem pertaining to the topic of talent shows is that the subject title itself has become increasingly misleading. It seems that these days, it’s not so much talent that we want to see, but struggling wannabes that the likes of Kyle Sandilands and Paula Abdula can subject to dry and cutting abuse, comforted by their sizable commercial contracts that no longer require them to possess any more talent than the sobbing contestants before them. In my personal opinion, judges like Dicko should just drop the ‘o’ from their name and take their own advice to shut the fuck up, because their glaringly scripted commentary is just as painful as Zhuo Flynn Liu’s Australian Idol rendition of ‘Push Up’. No matter the form, talent (or lack thereof) shows are an experience we would all have a lot more dignity without.

AGAINST

JAYDE DE BONDT

BONNIE WHITEHEAD

WEEKLY WISDOM

“

“T

he teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.

Kahlil Gibran SCOPE | ISSUE 23 BONDY BANTER

TEXT FROM LAST NIGHT (215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was “You’re lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground...” __________________________________________

YOUTUBE CLIP

(262): Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? Or why its labelled as unicorn sweat? __________________________________________ (517): We are playing family charades. My sister pointed at me. Everyone guessed alcoholic. __________________________________________ (209): Dude, you’re never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity. (1-209): Nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch ‘em all. __________________________________________ (571): You yelled “bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!”4 times in the middle of class. How do you not remember? (703): I don’t even know what potassium is.

I FEEL DIZZY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__dUlY0JpSc

tarting strong with “Hey kids wassup”, this YouTube soon-to-be-viral ‘dizzy kid’ delivers some pretty hilarious one-liners that will have you in stitches for the entire video. Matt wakes up from anesthesia, wondering why he feels so “dizzzzzzzzy” but “it went good, you know?” Why you should watch it? It’s hilariously adorable, and he’s a little mad-snake “you know what I’m saying?”

Hits ~405,898 If you want more... ‘Super Silly’ (http://www. youtube.com/watch?v=TfS23cDL8_E &feature=relmfu) is labelled as ‘more anesthesia aftermath’, where Matt wants to know why his Dad is laughing at him. Matt: “Dad, you super silly” Dad: “I know” Matt: “Yeah, you know”

DEMOTIVATIONAL POSTER

COCKTAIL 5 O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING Ingredients 15ml Gin 15ml Rum 15ml Brandy 15ml Vodka 15ml Tequila 180ml Apple Schnapps

SCOPE | ISSUE 23 OF THE WEEK

Method: On the Rocks Glass: Collins • Mix the Tequila, Rum, Vodka, Gin and Brandy in a shaker • Pour half of Apple Schnapps (or Apple Shandy) in a collins glass • Pour the mixture in • Top it up with the rest of the Apple Schnapps (or Apple Shandy)

Phantasmagoria [fan-taz-muh-gawr-ee-uh]

Origin This word seems to have been derived from a ‘magic lantern’ exhibition brought to London in 1802 by Frenchman Philipstal.

WORD

In a sentence “The most unforgettable scars she took from her accident, were the phantasmagorias that haunt her at night.”

PUZZLE T

ake the list of words below and arrange them into three sentences that all have something in common. Each word is only used once for each time it appears in the list. Punctuation is not an issue in this teaser in the initial placement of words. Only names are capitalized to start with. DAD, LET, LETS, LEW, MARGE, MISSES, NO, NORAH, ORDERED, ROSES, SEE, SHARON’S, SIMON, TELEGRAM, TELL, WE’LL, What are the sentences and what do they have in common? Answer in Issue 24 of Scope

YEAR: 2009

ith Palaver only a day away, you had to know this one was coming! One of several singles released from P!nk’s fifth studio album of the same name, ‘Funhouse’ is supposedly a metaphor for life and being in love. Love her or hate her, this one has to be added to your pre-Palaver playlist because it’s so damn catchy and you’re going to start singing it when you rock up to the Funhouse anyway. Loving P!nk? • Sober - Seriously, don’t play this one Friday morning; you’re going to be wallowing in hangover-self-pity as it is. • So What - Highly recommended for those recently out of a relationship. • Get the Party Started - We all know how this one goes. *Transport back to 2001...*

“

SONG FUNHOUSE - P!NK

nhouse ns u F a e b low d to This use it’s full of evil cuntdown But now to start the co , down, down It’s timena burn it down I’m gon

“

noun 1. A shifting series of phantasms, illusions, or deceptive appearances, as seen in a dream or fever, or as created by the imagination. 2. A changing scene made up of many elements. 3. An optical illusion produced by a magic lantern or the like in which figures increase or diminish in size, pass into each other, dissolve, etc.

Answer to the puzzle in Issue 22: When the students read the letters out loud, running them together, and looking in the mirror, they realized that they were telling themselves, “I like you like you are!” It may not be perfect grammar, but the teacher reached her goal of building self-esteem in her students who had a low opinion of themselves because of teasing.

OF THE WEEK SCOPE | ISSUE 23 OF THE WEEK

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

CONSUME 1KG OF CHICKEN WINGS Dinner at Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is back for 122, and for just $9.50* you can stuff yourself silly with a kilo of chicken wings (with sweet chilli or buffalo sauce) from 6-8pm on Tuesday nights. Winner, winner, chicken dinner! *Includes a beverage. Non-alcoholic of course.