Scope Issue 12 Week 4 Sem 121 by Bond University Student Association

Issue 12 Week 4

Sem 121

scope

Scope is proudly brought to you by BUSA and a dedicated group of student volunteers.

Scope: By STUDENTS for STUDENTS

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SPORT EDITOR | Rebecca Thompson SUB-EDITOR | Linda Woelk PHOTOGRAPHERS Shaun Rotman Caroline Kovac SPONSORSHIP Michael ‘Papa’ Penklis

DEADLINES Space Reservation: Sunday 4pm Completed content: Monday 4pm

CONTACT Editor: jorja-lee.wallace@student. bond.edu.au General: scope.bond@gmail. com Phone: (07) 5595 4009

3. Weekly BUSA Report 4. Graduating Student Profile 6. Avoiding the Danger Zone 8. Defending the Barbarians at the Gate 10. Skin Cancer - The Silent Killer 11. Why I Quit Law

12. Photos 16. Posters 18. Music, Arts & Reviews 20. Sport 22. Bondstock 2012 24. Have You Got Your SAM? 25. Odds & Ends 26. Posters 28. Haaaave You Met...?

20. COVER PHOTO: Shaun Rotman

The views and opinions expressed in Scope do not necessarily represent those of the Scope team, the Publications Director or BUSA.

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facebook.com/scope.bond bondstudents.com

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FROM THE DESK OF: CHRISTOPHER LAND Another semester...another Master Budget. Fifty-five exhaustive funding meetings, who-knows how many emails, phone calls and revisions later, another presentation to the Activities Fee Committee, and finally the 121 Master Budget is complete! No matter if you’re under-age or mature-age, if you live on-campus or off, if you’re fit or not-so-fit, if you’re a debater or a bookworm, or perhaps even a musician - this budget should interest you.

editor’s report Welcome to another Scopetastic week! We were going to do a ‘Valentine’s Day’ special this week, but because we’re awesome and so good to you; it will be released ON Valentine’s Day next week (that’s right a whole day earlier). What up!? We actually received an abundance of articles this week, so snaps to the Scope team and a huge thank-you to all of our contributors! Keep your eyes peeled for the loved-up edition full of Valentine’s Day hate, love and hilarity. Like most weeks of Scope, it wasn’t all smooth sailing. BUT, we always deliver. I even managed to have an hour break (filled with soft drink and polite chit-chat, and no where near CBD of course). Despite little sleep, a long ride on the rage train and the ever frustrating spinning wheel of death - Scope Week 4 is ready for your perusal.

Following the feedback we received in the recent SAM Forums, this semester we aimed to extend the flow of SAM benefits to all demographics of the University’s diverse student community. I truly hope you find something of value! As we transition to compulsory SAM next semester, rest assured that your student association will be working on continuing to deliver this objective. This week on Thursday 12pm (06_4_11) is the Funding Review Seminar. The purpose of this session is to explain the Funding Allocation Process; to provide an overview of this semester’s budget; and most importantly, to provide students with the opportunity to ask questions on particular allocations. If you’re wondering where your SAM funds go, it will be well worth your time. In the interim, please feel free to download the Master Budget, available from BondSync (BUSA org – Files – Club Administration). And...Did you know?

Let’s not kid ourselves here - we all know you’re going straight for the Palaver photos. “OMG we totes had to wait FOREVVVVVAAA, I need a new FB DP!” Take a chill pill, they’ll be uploaded soon. #firstworldproblems. This week there’s definitely a grad focus, with a few informative pieces (shock horror) and many-a-laugh to be had thanks to ‘Avoiding the Danger Zone’. If next week is saturated with love, this week reeks of intellectual thought. For the newbies, check out page 22 and familiarise yourself with ‘Bondstock’ (yes you can buy this one, unlike ‘a BUSA’). For the oldies, farewell a fellow student with Lizzie Arthur’s profile on pages 4 & 5. And for those with a sense of humour and love of embarrassing friends, take note of the ‘advert’ on page 25 in preparation for next week. Don’t forget we always appreciate your feedback, so if you don’t feel up to writing as much as Mr Auer - send us a ‘Letter to the Editor’ airing your dirty laundry (because it’s always better done in public). See you on Tuesday! xx Yes I’m uploading Palaver photos STFU.

Jorja Wallace

the Edm?itor o t s r e t t e L for the Scope tea nd.edu.au say? Feedback to student.bo Have something ja-lee.wallace@ the Editor at jor to ter let a nd Se nday | DUE: 4pm Mo Max 100 words

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Lizzie A

r thu r

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GRADUATING STUDENT PROFILE Name: Elizabeth (Lizzie) Anne Arthur Age: 20 but 21 on the 19th... save the date ;) Degree: Bachelor of International Hotel and Resort Management Started: 101 | Finished: 113

How does it feel to graduate form Bond? Liberating and proud. Despite all of the blood, sweat, debt and tears that I’ve been through in the last two years, I’m so happy to come out of it a Bondie.

One thing you wish you could do over? I would not drink the entire mojito sack at pre’s before my last pub crawl. Rookie error. What has Bond taught you? Don’t drink red wine at Whitehouse. It doesn’t end well for anyone.

Should Don’s institute the Eagle Rock? Only after like 10:30 when you’re past the point of realising that all of the boys have dropped their dacks. Or if they get some CK undie models in to make it worth it for the girls. Mmmm.

What will you miss the most? Spending my day with people who make me laugh and who provide intelligent conversation because people in the real world are so dumb. Free Wifi. WBTW. Group gym classes. My daily chai tea from Juicy Bits. And the pride when your post makes it into Scope’s “Hot or Not”.

Who is the most attractive professor? Warwick Schneller. You may laugh, but a well groomed, glasses-wearing man does strange things to a lady when he says “I prefer the quick and dirty method”; even if it is related to Bonds or something...

Despite all of the blood, sweat, debt and tears that I’ve been through in the last two years, I’m so happy to come out of it a Bondie.

What’s the best event? Palaver, until they run out of vodka redbull, and you end up drinking a nasty combination of UDLs and Bundy. Other than that it’s always good for a dance, there is seating, and there’s 90% change Jorja will have food on her costume. Favourite semester and why? 102. I went to pretty much every FSA and club event for the first time, and discoverd the true meaning of being a Bondie. Team X-Treme. I did cruise management, which meant I missed out 3 days of class so I could get drunk on a cruise liner on the way to Sydney.

What won’t you miss? Trying to get out of having my internet suspended after downloading Gossip Girl. Being scolded when eating in the library. Learning 12 weeks of content in Week 13. Only getting a park weeks 2-12. And trying to understand what the Law students are talking about.

Most hated subject? Service Operations Management (which they’ve renamed Operations and Supply Chain Management). If you’ve done it, you’ll understand.

What are your plans after Grad? Currently working at the Sofitel in Broadbeach, but applying for grad programs in London hotels. And buy a cat to keep me company.

Greatest challenge at Bond? Trying not to laugh while on Memebase in class. Trying and failing to find my Harry Potter wand on the floor of Don’s. Kicking my “awkward lean” habit.

Any advice for current students? If you don’t keep your study notes up to date in your first semester, you never will. It’s better to accept that and spend your time on more important things. Enjoy Australia Day and don’t go to class... You’ll learn more from the Hottest 100 and drinking than you will in a class with 3 people in it. Don’t give yourself alcohol poisoning the weekend before EOSB and then decide not to drink for a while, because you will NOT have fun and miss out on everything.

Greatest achievement at Bond? Running two social events for the HTSA and getting a BUSA award for one of them. They might not have been as big as other events or made as much (or any) money, but everyone left a happy customer. Don’t believe me? Ask Jack Reid. Wink. Naughtiest thing you’ve done at Bond? Sadly, all I can think of is using the guys toilets at social events because the girls line was too long.

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AVOIDIN G

THE

ZONE Anonymo

Below this quirky introduction you will see a list of rules, each of which must be followed in order to effectively maintain YOUR relationships with other people (or whatever it is you’re intimately attached to). The Danger Zone includes a number of defects that literally tear through people – such as being stuck in the friend zone, being too open, over-interpreting, caring too much and choosing some really bad dates.

conversation. Revealing your gender is probably the most frequent mistake that people make unintentionally. Same goes with facial characteristics, they’re hard to miss. The bottom line seems to be “keep them guessing”. Don’t tell them about your pet cat, Pickles, because you can’t get to second base with Pickles.

1. Do not be a friend

With new technology populating and developing around us, there are too many online mediums obstructing warm, fuzzy, human-to-human contact. Among these mediums, you are likely to assume that they hold the truth to your

This is the most crucial method when avoiding the danger zone. There comes a time when an “acquaintance” crosses the line, into the friend zone. Why? This person shares a lot of things with you, tells you that he/she really appreciates the relationship, sealing it with a deadly hug. If he/she feels comfortable enough, you may even hear about the person he/she spent the whole night in a motel room with, and you’ll think “why exactly would you want to know that?” You won’t want to know that. You’ll want to know that you’re the other person in the same motel room, getting your drank on with that special someone for hours on end. The less you spend “quality” time with him/her, the more he/she will want to know or find out. 2. Do not reveal your true identity Partners like a bit of mysteriousness in the mix. If you’re feeling lucky, don’t even give him/her your real name. Forget age, because those digits may bring death to a

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3. Do not over-interpret the NEW AGE

The Danger Zone includes a number of defects that literally tear through people: such as being stuck in the friend zone, being too open, over-interpreting, caring too much and choosing some really bad dates.

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partner’s heart. They don’t. Don’t over-interpret texts, worrying that someone’s not interested or angry with you simply because they were at work for five hours, had to go to University and then needed a quick nap before clubbing with ten other people. That is a valid excuse and should comfort those with a tender (and impatient) heart. Facebook works similarly; some people don’t allow their iPhones to receive “push notifications”. This means, when they leave their Facebook open, they don’t get a little vibrational pulse with a cute message waiting in their inbox. No biggie, they’ll get round to it.

A couple I knew would always kiss throughout an entire film when I joined them as a third wheel. I’d always ask what part they enjoyed….probably the mouth.

With Twitter, it’s very wise not to jump to conclusions. Say you asked someone if he/ she wanted to chill and the person was too busy. You decide to jump on Twitter (which is creepy in itself, because you’re practically stalking someone online), to see what they’re doing. The caption reads “Decided to have tea with the girls! Mwa xo” or “Footy time with Blake and Jared” (For each gender specifically). So what, you got shut down. Handle the rejection with grace. He/ she probably will spend time with you, just not right now. Patience is a virtue. As for Tumbler, shit gets real. People may post pictures or statuses with innuendos, e.g. “He served me a hot dog with extra hot sauce”, in which case there are a whole array of scenarios. Alternatively, the woman in question may have just ordered some mustard…and here you were thinking all suss-like.

ing to impress his/her potential partner. Coffee dates. Not everyone likes coffee, the cafés are usually loud, caffeine can drive you off the walls with a buzzing sensation, the sitting space is cluttered, and some chick at the counter yells “tall cappuccino” every five seconds. Not to mention the line, “Did you want to grab a coffee sometime?” has been used in almost every romantic comedy or drama, honestly. Movies are also a really bad idea. Are you going to watch the movie, or are you actually thinking about an intense hook-up with popcorn between your teeth? A couple I knew would always kiss throughout an entire film when I joined them as a third wheel. I’d always ask what part they enjoyed….probably the mouth.

The easiest way to avoid over-interpretation is to observe something “on the face of it”. That way, you won’t start a riot simply because you thought the love of your life ordered hot sauce for other purposes.

Restaurants are a pretty bad idea too. Who pays the bill? Are you worried about how much you’re eating? What if the waitress asks if you want desserts? How expensive should the wine be? Are you allergic to shellfish? Too many guessing games can tie a knot in the development of a beautiful relationship. Perhaps the best way to be successful in a date is to avoid food, unless it’s free and delicious (for everyone).

4. Be (partly) indifferent This brings us to the next point. People care too much when they’re trying to score. Women want to look “fab” and sexy in a short dress which doesn’t reveal any cellulite, whilst fellas need a six-pack or a tattoo to go with their dark shades. Let nature run its course. Being indifferent is a much better way to attract others (unless you’re both in love with each other already). There’s a typical cycle where boy meets girl, girl likes boy, boy likes girl, girl decides to no longer like boy. It works vice versa too – be warned. Being indifferent destroys any expectations that either person has, allowing both people to “go with the flow”. Appearances play a big part, but start with basic hygiene.

***** On that note, I suggest that the above methods be implemented in order to achieve and maintain a loving relationship between you and your partner. Keep it simple, stimulate attraction, and watch the hot sauce.

5. Avoid particular dates Finally, there are a number of places/dates which one should avoid if he/she is attempt-

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In a strange twist of fate, private equity titans must be cursing the day fellow private equiteer Mitt Romney put his hat in the ring for the 2012 presidential elections in the US. Instead of political favours, the private equity industry is facing withering criticism from Democrats and Republicans alike of their practices, which has been likened to ‘vulture capitalism’. Are they really that bad, though?

Defending the barbarians at the gate Liam Auer With the PEP-Spotless(i) takeover locked in a bloody battle and KKR(ii) announcing they want to buy everyone’s favourite undies brand, Bonds, by acquiring Pacific Brands,(iii) every man and his dog, wife and cousin are hopping onto the barnstorming private equity-bashing bandwagon nowadays, including James Kwak and James Surowiecki. Only Andrew Sorkin and The Epicurean Dealmaker(iv) have come out in defence. Surowiecki evidently does not like the implicit taxpayer subsidy private equity firms receive (more on that later) and Kwak thinks imperfect financial markets allow these corporate raiders to rape, pillage and burn companies before making off with the loot. Sounds positively Viking. I wonder why private equity originated in the US and not in Scandinavia?

Finally, the financial sponsor, like hedge funds, charges the investors in the fund the pleasure of “two-and-twenty” for this. No, it is not some sort of new game of cricket and it is certainly not a smaller version of a meat pie, but the fees they charge: two per cent of the amount of money in the fund and 20 per cent of any profits made. Good – no great – gig, if you can get it. A financial sponsor will try (and usually succeed) to obtain a majority or controlling stake in a company, sometimes with the assistance of management.(viii) This helps to align everyone’s interest with one goal in mind: make a silly amount of money. Now, and this is important for later, it is common practice (particularly in Australia) for the financial sponsors to have a couple of members on the board of the acquired company.

Both these criticisms focus on the financial leverage that has become synonymous with private equity, but today’s reality does not bear out such characterisations. First, however, an explanation of how the industry works is in order.

Now, when a financial sponsor looks at a potential acquisition, they do not value it like corporate buyers or equity research analysts. Rather, they build an “LBO-model” (often with assistance from some poor sod of an investment banker who is about to have his life owned for the duration of the deal), which looks at how much free cash flow a company generates, how much debt that free cash flow can service, how little equity the fund has to put in and how much they can sell the company for in five years time. They then arrive at two figures: an internal rate of return (IRR) and a money multiple. The first tells you the percentage return that they will make, and the second tells you how many times they made their initial equity investment over.

Private equity firms, or financial sponsors as they’re known in the financial industry, raise funds from institutional investors (superannuation funds, investment funds, sovereign wealth funds, university endowment funds and other asset managers). The money raised then goes into a private equity fund, which is the vehicle for investing in companies. Each fund is its open independent legal entity, with a limited lifespan (~10 years). Within this fund are individual portfolio companies, which are the businesses that the financial sponsors buy using the fund and manage themselves (or with the assistance of pre-existing or new management). These individual companies are usually held for anywhere between three to seven years, with five years being the desired sweet spot for a lot of investments. At the end of this period, the fund will hock the company off either in an initial public offering (IPO) to unsuspecting retail investors (a la TPG and Myers),(v) or in a trade sale to a regular corporate(vi) or to another private equity firm.(vii) The financial sponsor will then split the proceeds with the investors in the private equity fund (if there are any).

With this different perspective, you might think that the best way to maximise returns is to load up on as much debt as possible and put in as little equity as possible and, to a degree, you would be correct in saying that. However, in practice it works much differently. Back in the glory days of the ‘80s when LBOs when just starting to ramp up and banks weren’t wary of these corporate raiders, you might see 20 per cent equity / 80 per cent debt split in an acquisition. That leaves very little margin for error if business conditions turn sour and end up wiping an equity position out. Nowadays, you are more likely to see 40 per cent equity /

i. Pacific Equity Partners. An American firm. ii. Kohlberg Kravis Roberts. Yes, those guys of the famed RJR-Nabisco leveraged buyout (LBO) and the central stars in Barbarians at the Gate. iii. Let us just note that this would be the second time Pacific Brands has been taken over by an (*gasp*) American private equity firm in just over 10 years. The last one was CVC Asia Pacific, the beleaguered owner of Nine Entertainment who is engaged in a game of “don’t blink” with a bunch of hedge funds over its subordinat-

ed debt. At least the Test series against the Indians was a closely fought battle that went on for days and generated lots and lots of advertising... wait, scratch that. iv. Albeit in TED’s usual backhand way for what he calls “social maladjusted ex-investment bankers”. He’s clearly had the (dis)pleasure of working for a financial sponsor. v. Texas Pacific Group. Another American firm, another acronym. Also, Jennifer Hawkins is a babe. vi. Referred to as a trade sale.

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60 per cent split (which isn’t too far uncommon for a number of regular ol’ corporations out there), with banks seeking a number of covenants and step-in rights on brands / intellectual property if they go sour.(ix) As I mentioned earlier, the financial sponsor will sell off the company (or ‘exit its investment’) after five years or so. If it wants to make any money, it has to sell the company off at an equity value larger than what it put in. It’s a binary game: if it does that, it wins. If it doesn’t, well, there’s always another fund to raise. Now, there are only three ways the financial sponsor can increase the equity value of its investment: (i) Increase the selling multiple; (ii) Use the excess free cash flow generated by the company to reduce debt; and (iii) Increase the company’s earnings. The first method, increasing the sales multiple,(x) is the least reliable. It depends on mostly market conditions – how well the stock market is going and what the appetite is for that business. A sellside investment banker will usually try and juice up this multiple by maintaining “competitive tension”, but you will have some pretty damn good bankers on the buy-side doing their very best to beat that value down for their clients. And God forbid you come up against another private equity firm, because they will beat the price down like you would with a redheaded stepchild – just ask ex-JP Morgan banker William Cohen, who still holds a grudge against Mitt Romney nearly 20 years later. The second method, using excess cash flow to pay down debt, is not itself a bad thing. Now, they want to pay down the acquisition debt because when they sell the company their profit is any value received above the acquisition debt and equity. If they can pay this debt down during the ownership period, then they can realise a much bigger profit at sale time. However, much of the free cash flow of a company is already taken up with servicing the debt used to acquire it (and remember, the financial sponsor will use as much debt as prudently possible to jack up their returns), capex(xi) (because these business need to, you know, grow), operating expenses and working capital. Now, if earnings don’t grow (translating into an increase in free cash flow), then the financial sponsor can only pay down debt by cutting costs and staff to the bone, as well as putting capex on hold, essentially choking off any future growth. This is where many critics of private equity come in and start howling about bottom-feeding, germ-like vulture capitalists. Except in reality, it doesn’t quite happen that way. Competition for assets is fierce now and the debt-heavy model only worked in the ‘80s when financial sponsors could pick up companies on the cheap. Nowadays, the investment world has clued onto the financial sponsors’ game and they generally have to pay a fair price. So, they only have the third option open to them: grow the business to make it more valuable. A final point to be made on this is one that I made earlier: Many of these financial sponsors are directors on the board of the acquired company. They owe the portfolio company a fiduciary duty to act in its best interests and this duty trumps their duty to the financial sponsor. Recklessly loading up on debt and eventually defaulting hardly seems to be fulfilling that duty.(xii) So, private equity isn’t as bad as everyone thinks they are. They perform a pretty vital function in today’s economic environment - identifying undervalued assets, improving capital efficiency, improving businesses and the like. Yes, like every other company viii. This is referred to as a management buyout, or an MBO. ix. Little to the knowledge of banks, private equity firms do not care about step-in rights. Once it gets into that stage, the fund’s equity position is wiped out anyway and there is very little to salvage from their perspective. x. A sales multiple is how much you sell the company for based on its revenues. So, if a company has EBITDA (Earnings before interest, tax, depreciation and amortisation – don’t ask) of $20m and it is sold for $200m, then it has a sales multiple of 10.0x EV / EBITDA. That

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out there, they benefit from the tax shield of debt, but at best it makes a few percentage points difference in the IRR of a deal. No, they don’t contribute to financial instability because they are discrete entities with no recourse that cannot transmit financial contagion, unlike your financial behemoths like Citigroup, RBS, Lehman Brothers and the sovereign state of Greece. However, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves – they are far from saints. The first is that financial sponsors are painful to work for as an investment banker. Sure, it sounds glamorous – advising on the most high-profile, biggest deals going around. And financial sponsors are a great source of return fees – they pay you a fee to advise them on the transaction, then they pay you a fee to help them sell it. Sometimes they even pay you a fee to lend them money, which you’ll then turn around and sell off to other banks (for a fee, of course). Speak to any junior, or even senior, banker though and they’ll bitch about working for a financial sponsor.

Surowiecki evidently does not like the implicit taxpayer subsidy private equity firms receive ... and Kwak thinks imperfect financial markets allow these corporate raiders to rape, pillage and burn companies before making off with the loot. The thing is financial sponsors run a lean operation. In Australia, for a firm managing potentially hundreds of millions of dollars and owning several companies, they might have less than twenty front office staff. Even worse, the pool of recruits financial sponsors draw from are either investment bankers or management consultants. Now, the former investment bankers know exactly how long you as a current investment banker will work(xiii) and will exploit that for all its worth. You become their bitch, doing all the data gathering, research and God-knows-what-else. So, if you’re staffed on a financial sponsor deal, expect to do an inordinate amount of running around for data that probably doesn’t exist, but by God you’ll spend hours searching for it even though you could have told them it doesn’t exist within 30 minutes of the request. The final problem with private equity is the indefensible “carriedinterest” tax rule they exploit for all its worth. I’m not quite sure about the Australian situation (because I really don’t feel like researching any sort of Australian tax law right now), but in the US private equiteers only pay 15 per cent of income they earn from their private equity investments. Now, this is where I call bullshit. I can understand the reason for taxing capital gains at a lower rate, but private equiteers don’t sit back and realise those gains at the end of it all. No, they work the investments (that whole grow the business thing I mentioned earlier) and get paid management fees (two-and-twenty) to do so. This carried-interest tax break is intellectually, economically and morally bankrupt (unlike the private equiteers themselves). Now, as I said earlier, I don’t think Australian private equity firms get this tax break (caveat: I could be very wrong), but just ask the ATO on how they feel about private equity firms and tax. I think they’re still sporting a black eye after TPG made off with a cool ~$670m in taxes after selling some now-poorer retail investors Myers through a structure that involved subsidiaries in the Netherlands, Luxembourg, and the Cayman Islands. Ouch. is a very healthy multiple for most businesses, mind you. xi. Capital expenditures. xii. Note that I haven’t taken a look at case law in this area, and to the best of my knowledge there hasn’t been too many cases on this. Furthermore, they could end up claiming the business judgment rule anyway, so that discussion might all be entirely academic. Plus, I’m not much of a law student at the best of times. xiii. It’s long. Trust me.

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Skin Cancer - The Silent Killer Sam Jones

Walking outside is probably the most dangerous thing you will do today. Let’s lay out some facts on just how shit skin cancer is: • Skin cancer account for 80% of all newly diagnosed cancers. • Two in three Australians will be diagnosed with skin cancer by the time they are 70. • Around 434,000 people are treated for one or more non-melanoma skin cancers. In 2007, 448 people died of the disease. • More than 10,300 people are treated for melanoma, with 1279 people dying in 2007 alone. • Melanoma is the most common cancer in people aged 15-44 years. • Excluding non-melanoma skin cancer, melanoma is the fourth most common cancer in both women and men. • Skin cancer is ‘Australia’s Cancer’ - Australia has one of the highest incidences of skin cancer in the world, at nearly four times the rates in Canada, the US and the UK. • Melanoma and non-melanoma skin cancers combined are more common than lung, breast, colorectal and prostate cancer

Every day young Australians are regularly being diagnosed with some form of skin cancer. So maybe you should get learning about what skin cancer is and how you can avoid/ prevent getting it. Conclusion? The sun is a dick. But seriously, skin cancer isn’t one of those illnesses that “just affects old people”. Every day young Australians are regularly being diagnosed with some form of skin cancer. So maybe you should get learning about what skin cancer is and how you can avoid/prevent getting it. Skin cancer is arguably one of the shittier forms of cancer, because you can’t prevent it by just not doing stuff – don’t want lung cancer? Don’t smoke. Don’t want liver cancer? Lay off the booze, muchacho. Don’t want skin cancer? Don’t go outside... Uhh, not so reasonable. But anyway, what is skin cancer?

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There are three main types of skin cancer: • Melanoma (the one that’ll probably ruin your week): Most melanomas are brown to black looking lesions. Unfortunately, a few melanomas are pink, red or fleshy in color; these are called amelanotic melanomas. These tend to be more aggressive. Warning signs of malignant melanoma include change in the size, shape, color or elevation of a mole. • Basal Cell Carcinoma: Basal cell carcinoma usually presents as a raised, smooth, pearly bump on the sunexposed skin of the head, neck or shoulders. • Squamous Cell Carcinoma: Squamous cell carcinoma is commonly a red, scaling, thickened patch on sun-exposed skin (Source: Australian Cancer Council)

And 95-99% of these cancers are caused by the sun molesting you with UV radiation. So there are a few things you should do to reduce your chances of needing chunks of your skin removed and looking like Freddy Kruger (legit, my grandad has more of his ass skin on his face than his ass). • Obviously, if you’re going out in the sun use a sunscreen that has a high SPF (sun protection factor). Don’t use tanning oil. Tanning oil is like coating yourself in honey and waiting for the cancer bear to maul you. The cancer council sunscreen is a good place to start, but if you’re picky go for one with an SPF of 30+. • Get intimate with your skin. Real intimate. If you’ve got a partner, get them to get intimate with your skin. Take note of nasty moles and growths that change over time, so when you book in for your annual skin cancer check (yes, you should be get at least one a year) you can point it out to your doctor. Ahhh, but where are these magical skin cancer doctors? You can go and see your GP, or the better option is going and seeing a skin cancer specialist. Most of these bulk-bill (Uncle Government pays the bill) though are quite busy. For on-campus Bondies swing by Waterways Shopping Centre (near Pizzey Park) or ring up and book an appointment. It’s free, it’s easy and it might be the most action you get all week (be prepared to strip down for the doctor, skin cancer can affect you even where you don’t get burned!) Too long, didn’t read? You’re in Australia, you’re more likely to get skin cancer, it’s preventable and doesn’t take that much effort to keep on top of. It’s a national tragedy that so many young lives are cut short by such an aggressive yet preventable illness.

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Slip. Slop. Slap!

Why I Quit Law...

Blake Parbery

I want to share a revelation I have had. I have realised that studying law isn’t for me. I have taken the steps to move from my double degree to a single and complete a Bachelor of International Relations. A question I’ve been getting a lot since the decision is “Why?”; it is sometimes asked with a confused look, other times a surprised one and, a very few times, with a knowing smile. The answer is threefold, and I’ll try to keep it short. 1) The People. During my time studying law (around the 3 semesters mark), I met a huge range of people. I’ve got a lot of friends from the Law Faculty and, with their permission, would like to continue referring to them in such a manner. However, this minimal number of lovely people has been greatly outweighed over the last two years by the seemingly endless hordes or arrogant, competitive, smirking and snide colleagues that all proudly call themselves law students, and who look with disdain on those who are not in their club. Don’t get me wrong, not all law students are like this by any means - just most of them. I was keeping myself in a degree program I didn’t enjoy with people I didn’t like almost exclusively for the fact that I was afraid that I would become ‘the law drop out’. I now recognise how stupid it was that I cared in any way, shape or form for the opinions of these people, or anyone else for that matter. 2) The Subject Matter. Studying law is boring. The ratio of interesting content to boring content within any field that you can honestly say you enjoy should be at least 4-1 in my opinion, within law, for me it was closer to 1-250. I’d sit through unintelligible jargon for a whole semester and, at the end, look back on one interesting point with a sigh of frustration. There are a few people who genuinely enjoy studying law and all power to them, but from my perspective, these people were few and far between. To everyone still struggling through a law degree that they hate, don’t be afraid to consider other options; I did, and it was the best decision I have ever made.

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3) The Future. I came into law with a somewhat idealistic idea of what I would like to do with my law degree: fight for the poor, for justice; champion the rights of those who could not do so themselves. I exited as cynical and jaded as the professors who taught me. I saw too many laws and legal precedents, too many cases and anecdotes to ever believe that the law is there to protect us, and lawyers there to fight for us. Everyone has a different opinion of the law and, after having studied it for two years, mine is one of anger. I was at the point where I looked into the crystal ball and saw no future involving a law degree and, at that point, the decision was made.

However, this minimal number of lovely people has been greatly outweighed over the last two years by the seemingly endless hordes or arrogant, competitive, smirking and snide colleagues that all proudly call themselves law students, and who look with disdain on those who are not in their club. Words truly cannot describe how happy I am not to be studying law anymore. My final advice, as I hinted at earlier, is to other students who are in the same position as I was. Don’t be afraid to change your mind, about any degree program, not just law. I truly wanted to study law when I first started and completely changed my mind during the course; somehow though I felt like doing so would be a cop out, like I was bailing from a course I couldn’t handle, rather than just not enjoying. If I’d have known then what I do now, I would have changed courses three weeks into Contracts, but I didn’t. Hopefully, though, if you’re reading this and pining for the freedom of a law-free degree, you’ve been inspired to at least consider the possibility.

| 11| FEATURES

WEEK THREE Photographers: Supplied by MSSBU (p.12) | Shaun Rotman (p.12, 13 & 15) | Caroline Kovac (p.14)

Events: Trivia Night | Spring Festival | Palaver: Studio 54

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MUSIC ARTS & S W E I REV I may not know much about what is ‘cool’ or what it takes to be ‘cool’. However, upon viewing the Brooklyn, New York indie pop band ‘The Drums’ I realized a couple of things. I want to dress/walk/sing/eat/be them because, well, let’s face it they seem very cool. Two Sunday’s ago a collective group of friends and myself traveled to Byron Bay to see the kings of cool play at the Great Northern. Not wanting to miss the show we arrived 5 hours early, this was too early, so we had dinner and waddled around Byron for another 3 hours. Good times. Definitely recommend Byron for you international students wanting to see a bit of Australia, even though I haven’t really sold it. Anyway, the Great Northern is a great place to see a band. It’s a very cosy atmosphere with a very accessible bar, toilet and band. You can get very, very close to the performing artists although while the supporting act was playing, no one really wanted to. Bad times. Except one guy, but he was that guy. No one was impressed as a lone punter danced on the ghost town dance floor like an idiot. He we was not cool. But, not all was the lost, as the supporting act left the stage, a few minutes went by, and someone must have turned on the air con because things just got cool. Seriously though – that was a joke. Really, it was so very, very hot. The Drums came on stage and immediately a variety of women around me made it very clear how much they wanted to have sex with the lead singer, Jonathan Pierce – al-

The Drums

beit through scratching and punching at my face and back. Jonathan absorbed the audiences attention with hypnotizing dance moves which can be described as a more graceful version of Ian Curtis’ (lead singer of Joy Division). His soothing voice combined with the mass reverb distributed by the band had the audience hooked as they played for ever and ever and ever and ever (Drums fans eat your hearts out). The band was always grasping the full attention of the crowd. Not at one stage was there that awkward moment where no one was really getting into it, which is a moment I am all too familiar with.

Heavily inspired by bands such as The Cranberries, The Smiths and of course Joy Division, it is hard not to notice the elements of these groups used effectively and efficiently in their music. Now, The Drums aren’t the most played band on Sea FM or Hot Tomato but they are relatively well known amongst the triple J listeners. With hits such as ‘Let’s Go Surfing’ and ‘Money’, which, needless to say had the crowd bobbing up and down enjoying themselves tremendously. I imagine The Drums will only see their popularity rise, and, if you’re looking to impress someone on Valentine’s Day why not buy them one of their two LPs, or even both. With great music and dashing style if you haven’t had a taste of them, trust me, treat yourself and get on board. Also – I fist bumped the singer.

JAMES FITCHETT

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|18| MAR

Take Care - Drake ANDY KIGGUNDU

The sensational Toronto rapper Drake, has worked with several hip-hop artists such as Lil Wayne, Young Jeezy, Kanye West, Eminem, and Jay-Z. Signed to Young Money stable, which is sinuous for artists such as; Lil Wayne; Nicki Minaj; Jay Sean; and Kevin, Drake is an artist to look out for. Despite the fact that he has already released two albums, he is well respected within the music industry appearing on some of the biggest records of the summer mainstream and underground music scenes. His rise to fame was marked by his mix tape “So Far Gone” which had production values and features to rival any Jay-z or Diddy album. All together the mix tape was estimated to cost $US1 million. The album Electric Diversity made it the fifth best-selling rap album of 2009, even though the entire album was available to the public free of charge.

His introspective approach to his music is refreshing instead of flaunting, bling-bling culture that has standardised the hip hop/rap music scene over the past decade. In turn, this is what adds to the universal appeal of Drake’s music. Take Care showcases Drake’s unconventional, but sound ability to make his rhymes sound intimate and conversational. It’s almost like he is conversing directly with the listener one-onone. The album is extremely well produced, and the production of each track shows a deep dedication to the craft. Evidently, every track is on Take Care flows together and sounds complete in comparison to other albums from more mainstream hip hop artists, which are ultimately just a mixtures of a couple of singles or dance-tracks. All in all, everyone should get their hands on a copy of Drake’s new album, Take Care.

I have personally been following Drake over his rise to fame. From a young rapper/singer, his sound, lyrics and music have helped nuance and form 21st century pop culture. In contrast to popular music, his tracks feature abstract metaphors and deep personal reference to his life.

Album Stars:

The much anticipated album by Drake is called Take Care, after his hit debut album “Thank Me Later”, he has worked hard firstly, to make a record that he wanted to hear; Take Care features atmospheric sound, fusing together hard hitting high-hats, r&b and electronica. Drake’s lyrics deal with delicate subjects including failed relationships with friends, family, women, concerns about a hollow life and fame, making him a paragon in the rap industry.

Top 5 Reasons to Check Out Drake: 1. It is great for those long study sessions in the bat labs 2. Looking to get your swagger out on a Friday night, pump ‘Headlines’ 3. People hating on your shine should listen to ‘We’ll Be Fine’ 4. Those for nights when you’re thinking about that special someone ‘Shot for me’ 5. For those moments for melancholic madness ‘Marvin’s Room’

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(1: Nails down a chalk board - 5: Frothing at the mouth) 5/5 stars

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TOUCH ME 2012!

Thomas Foster

Finishing with a silver medal at the 2011 Northern Uni Games and a bronze medal at last year’s Australian Uni Games, Bond’s mixed touch team will be as hungry as ever for gold in 2012! Our team was thrown together back in early 2011 and we had far less than adequate time to prepare for NUG. Poor preparation wasn’t enough to hold the team back from a gutsy performance in Armidale’s near zero degree weather. We made it to the final but unfortunately went down to the now 5x NUG champs QUT. However, the silver medal was certainly a great achievement in the players’ eyes and was quite a sufficient reason to celebrate with a couple of drinks… actually, a lot of them. “We all got along incredibly well and our family-like bonding was most likely the reason behind our good results!” Mary Byrne. In the lead up to AUG the team had much better preparation competing in the external competition at Southport. This was originally just a way of putting our training into a game situation, but low and behold we ended up winning the grand final, a third

medal for the team! The Australian University Games had arrived at our door step (literally… being held on the Gold Coast), attracting over 6000 participants. Unquestionable our players felt the hype and we were excited to compete against the other universities and of course to get lost in the party scene. After a gruelling week of games, 10 in total, it came down to Bond and the University of Sunshine Coast in the play off for a place in the final. Whilst the streakers were out in full force we were not distracted from the task at hand. Touchdown for touchdown, each team strived to get ahead. On the hottest day of the games, we gave our very best, but fell short, losing 6 - 4. Our team went on to defeat the University of Wollongong in a very exciting drop-off to claim the bronze medal. 2012 brings a fresh year and although it means saying goodbye to some of our beloved players, it opens an opportunity for new players to experience the excitement of University Games. With bronze and silver on our resume, gold seems the only option this year and without doubt the team will put up a massive fight for it!

Bondies up for new challenges at Res Wars Hannah West A new game format, poor weather and a last minute change of location did not deter campus residents from battling it out for trivia glory last Wednesday in the Princeton Ballroom.

In the most mentally demanding event of the Res Wars calendar, strong teams from both A Block Pride and AC Red Devils again showed their strength, against smaller B Block Bandit and Green Machine Teams. Five rounds of trivia kept the intellectually inclined occupied, while those chewing at the bit for something a little more active tried their hand at a number of new activities. One of the challenges of the night included a dry Weetbix with Promite eating competition, taken out by the B Block Bandits. The food competitions proved to be a hit. Boys competed to see how many marshmallows they could fit into their mouths, while the girls raced to see who could eat lemons the fastest. Both were taken out by a vocal A Block team. A draw in one of the trivia rounds saw Senior A Block Res Fellow, Scott Fraser, conduct a tiebreaker in the form of a squat on tippy-toes, held for as long as possible. A Block and AC battled it out, with AC walking away victorious, although both felt the pain of cramping calf muscles. Points are still being calculated but see you this Wednesday on the Sand Courts behind the gym for beach volleyball!

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YOU Can’t spell ELITE without ELI Hardy Awadjie

Every first Sunday of February the United States of America freezes in time for a few hours, and watches the greatest game on earth; and the chance for players to show off their $5000 gold and diamond championship ring. This day, is Super Bowl Sunday.

Now something about the New York Giants that all should be aware of, they’re a comeback team. When under pressure, pushed for time and losing they somehow make a comeback to win the game. On Sunday February 5th at approximately 6:30pm, East Coast time (and after a ravishing National Anthem performance by Kelly Clarkson. Note: please get a new hair stylist), the New York Giants (9-7) and New England Patriots (13-3) competed against each other in the Super Bowl XLVI (56 for you non-romans). Some would call this a boring match-up or repeat, as these two teams faced each other in the 2008 Superbowl XLII (52), with the Giants winning 17-14 over the Patriots (favoured to win by 12). The end result was epic, just YouTube ‘David Tyree Superbowl catch’. To say the Patriots wanted revenge, and Tom Brady to get his 4th Super Bowl ring, would be an understatement. In 2008, New England (18-0) was favoured to win by 3.5 points, and this year they were out to set right what the Giants (14-6) did to them. I, however, knew they would lose, as I picked the Giants in my fantasy pick ‘em; and picked up Eli as my fantasy QB. Enough said, I’m always right.

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Now something about the New York Giants that all should be aware of, they’re a comeback team. When under pressure, pushed for time and losing they somehow make a comeback to win the game. This was evident as the Patriots scored in the third quarter, bringing it 17-15 Patriots. However, being the true elite player he is (can’t spell ‘elite’ without ‘eli’ - see what I did there?), Manning handed off to Ahmad Bradshaw. The Patriots graciously cleared a path for him, in which he attempted to stop before reaching the end zone, and forward momentum carried him over the line and sealed another great victory for the unstoppable Giants. The Super Bowl is more than just the actual game. 30-second commercial slots cost close to $4 million each, so advertisers need to catch the viewer’s attention quickly and effectively. Commercials featuring the new Chevy Camaro, Audi brand (#solongvampires), M&Ms and Pepsi all attempted to do just that for the 111 million people watching in the US alone. But what many may have missed was British singer M.I.A giving the middle finger during Madonna’s performance and saying, “I don’t give a fuck” into the mic. Luckily, a last ditch effort by NBC producers changed cameras faster than Justin Timberlake could take a swipe at Janet Jackson’s pierced nipple (think 2004, Super Bowl XXXVIII). Unlike many though, I thought Madonna’s performance was great coming from a 53-year-old woman, with guest singers including M.I.A, LMFAO and Cee Lo Green. Although I don’t see how ‘World Peace’ flashing at the end will solve anything, but neither did Jackson’s ‘Hate’ message in 2004. Overall another successful year for football as Americans must now turn to basketball for their entertainment away from Jersey Shore, Desperate Housewives and Teen Mom. Here’s to hoping my team actually gets somewhere next year (GO SEAHAWKS!).

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BONDSTOCK 201 To the new kids who aren’t familiar with the term Bondstock, take note. To everyone else, get excited. Bondstock 2012 is coming! It’s true that Bondstock never stops. As soon as one is over, planning for the next begins. Over the past few weeks the new Bondstock team have been busy working away to make sure Bondstock 2012 is the most exciting and extravagant Bondstock has ever been. Get excited for Teaser Week next semester, and start saving! We’ve been hiding in the office for a while now so it’s probably time we introduced ourselves. Firstly, what is Bondstock? Bondstock is Bond’s premier event of the year. It is a week long festival in September that celebrates all aspects of university life from academic, social, cultural and sporting. Bondstock has seen everything from a Secret Location Party at the Big Brother House to Richard Branson landing his helicopter on campus and much more in-between.

Meet the Team!

CONVENOR

Yasmin Zeinab

PROJECTS COORDINATOR Melanie Hayden

Hi, my name is Yasmin Zeinab and I’m the Bondstock Convenor for 2012. I’m in my sixth semester of a Law/Journalism degree. As Convenor, I oversee everything from Launch Party and merchandise to Students’ Ball (and all events inbetween). I’m extremely enthusiastic about Bondstock 2012, in fact I can’t stop taking about it. I hope you are all as excited as we are about the amazing week long celebration of Bond life that is Bondstock!

Hi Bondies, my name is Laura Stekelenburg and I’m your Deputy Convenor for Bondstock 2012. I’m in my third year at Bond, studying Law/ IR. As a member of the Bondstock 2012 committee, I am responsible for the triathlon, merchandise and assisting the committee with anything they require. I can assure you that we are working like mad men (already!) to ensure that Bondstock 2012 will be the best week during your time at Bond. So get excited, feel the anticipation and rest up so that you can go all out in Week 2, 123.

Hi, I’m Melanie Hayden and I’m excited to be working with the Bondstock team as the Projects Director this year. In this role I’ll be coordinating Teaser Week, Launch Party and our merchandise requirements; in addition to assisting the team in any way I can. We’re looking forward to our first opportunity to give the new students a taste of Bondstock in Week 10 next semester, and to remind everyone else why they should keep coming back for a week that epitomises everything about Bond’s culture.

Whaddup! I am Eloise Hurley Wellington and I am the new Events Coordinator for the Bondstock 2012 committee. I have been at Bond since 092, and thus I have attended three Bondstocks during my time here. I am originally from Adelaide, but refuse to call the place home! I study a double degree in Law/IR and am on the home stretch. Organising events such as those during the Bondstock week keep me sane, and my creativity alive.

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DEPUTY CONVENOR Laura van Stekelenburg

EVENTS COORDINATOR Eloise Hurley Wellington

12 IS COMING... EVENTS COORDINATOR Farah Essack

Corporate Relations Director

Hi, my name is Farah Essack. I’m 20 years old and studying Law. As Events Coordinator, I am looking forward to bringing a completely fresh and unique approach to the highly anticipated event that is Bondstock. One of my largest responsibilities is planning an amazing Student Ball. This involves spending a lot of time brainstorming new and fun ideas for the theme, venue and entertainment, and then trying to find a way to make it all come together! Throughout the course of this year I will also be working hard on ensuring that the smaller events on the Bondstock calendar receive a great deal of enthusiasm from the student body. I would like to improve the already amazing reputation that Bondstock has, so that the week is the highlight of every attending student’s year!

My name is Jacob Collier, and I am the Bondstock Committee’s 2012 Corporate Relations Director. Basically, it is my primary role to generate dosh in order to make the impossible, possible. Getting a VC Scholarship in 2011 from Perth, I decided to soak up a year in A Block truly enjoying the dirtiest side of Bondstock 2011 possible. This has made me eager to make this year’s Bondstock an even more filthy, yet truly beautiful event.

Jacob Collier

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Hi, my name is Mitchell Willocks and as Promotions Director for Bondstock 2012 I will act as your link to all the information needed to fully and actively participate in what is known as the foremost event on the Bond calendar. Although I have just begun studying a Bachelor of Law/Bachelor of Business at Bond, I have always had a keen interest in the world of Multimedia Design and Information Technology. Fortunately, in 2012 I am able to use my skills in Marketing and Graphic Design to present this week of events to the student body. I am exited to use new and more innovative ways of mass marketing this year to ensure the student experience surrounding Bondstock is as user-friendly and forward as possible.

Whatup hombres! My name is Emily McGregor and I am in my third semester, studying a Bachelor of Laws/Bachelor of Arts. I am the newly appointed Special Guest Coordinator for Bondstock 2012! Weww! Now, what in the deuce does that mean? Well, it means that I hunt down and organise muso’s, bands, artists, celebrities, charities, businesses, entertainers and other interesting people. I am absolutely stoked to be on the committee, and can’t wait for Semester 123 to arrive! It’s gonna be awesommmme!

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PROMOTIONS DIRECTOR

Mitchell Willocks

SPECIAL GUESTS DIRECTOR Emily McGregor

LOOKING FOR SOME LOVIN’ THIS VALENTINE’S DAY? KNOW SOMEONE SPENDING (SAD) ALONE?

HOT Grad Party Geordie Shore/MTV filming at Shooters Birthdays Super Bowl ads Eagle Rock campaign Led Zeppelin Spring Festival NYC Fashion Week Free tomato sauce in the Bra

Be a good bloke and dob in your single friends for the ‘Single & Looking’ spread in our special Valentine’s Day edition of Scope. Entice the opposite (or same) sex with seductive banter that’s sure to woo them a mate (I mean date...).

Send it through to scope.bond@ gmail.com by 4pm Monday Week 5, with a PG rated picture of their sexy mug.

Required Fields: Name; Age; Likes; Interested in; Looking for.

Don’t do your own - that’s lame.

Glossy paper Burning waffles Black Tuesday NOT Waiting in line for the toilet Rumours Pubs closing at 11.30pm

BOND CLASSIFIEDS MAD will be selling roses & cupcakes for Val- Bond Uni Rugby Club requires a medic for the entine’s Day. upcoming season, starting approx 31st March.

All proceeds will go to ‘Miracle Babies’, an organ- Will be for home games at Bond (Saturday around isation that supports premature & sick newborns midday), with 10-12 home games. We can assist and their families. with transport and any training courses you need to undertake. Roses: $4 Cupcakes: $3.50 Great opportunity for any med or physio students 2 roses OR 1 rose + 1 cupcake: $7 to gain practical experience. Will provide reference following the season. Pre-order via email: amy.nguyen@student.bond. edu.au Please contact Max Wolthers: 0403 847007 or maxwolthers@gmail.com BOND POLITIK Do politics interest you? Do you like pizza?

WANT TO ADVERTISE?

Send an email to scope.bond@gmail.com with all Come along to the opening event of Bond Politik the relevant details (name, goods/services, contact the new and exciting, not to mention impartial, po- number etc.), plus your student ID (so we can verify litical interest club. The night will be filled with that you’re a student). political trivia, playful debate and food! Be there at 7pm, Monday Week 5.

Not being the ‘backup plan’

MAXIMUM 50 WORDS DEADLINE: 4PM MONDAY EACH WEEK SCOPE

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Impatience Waffles Fake hair Being ti ti Lies

HOT or NOT

H A A A A VE Y O U M E T . . . ? Ideal date location and companion?

Anywhere with Richard from boxing or Henry Terry. Do you call a snail without a shell naked or homeless?

Well because it never paid homeowner’s insurance, it never had a house. Also, because it never wore clothes it wouldn’t be naked. Neither. What food would you be and why?

A chickpea: they are firm but squishy. What is your study motto?

“Well, there’s always next sem!” Name: James Cornish Age: 19 Degree: Sports Management Beginning Semester: 112 Hometown: Watford, UK FB Relationship Status: Bi-curious Star Sign: Leo

A genie grants you three wishes - what are they and why?

Do you judge other people for their past indiscretions?

Depends on the situation, but I never intend to judge. If you could swap bodies with anyone at Bond for a day, who would it be and why?

Alan White because he’s got all the swagger. Choose: never washing your bed sheets again, or never washing your towel again.

Sheets. I am quite comfortable sleeping on the floor in the foetal position crying into a pint of ice cream. Weirdest place you’ve had a sexual encounter?

A backpakers in Adelaide.

1. Anything unhealthy becomes healthy - you would be commended for eating chocolate. 2. Andy Murray finally winning a grand slam. 3. A personal teleporter.

NEXT WEEK: Nominate yourself or dob in someone else to scope.bond@gmail.com