Agents
Getting work on the club scene can only be done if an artist has an agent. Usually, performers have to showcase their act at an audition night in a club where one or more agents will be observing them furtively. Some former performers actually refer to these nights as ‘cattle-market auditions’ for the way in which the acts were herded on and off stage. In the days following the audition, the performer will hopefully receive a telephone call with constructive comments about their show and a description of the type of work that they might be expected to get. The essential subject of fees will also be discussed, along with commission rates.
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After our audition, the agent came up and said, ‘It’s a good show, lads, and I’m sure I can get you some work for about £100 - £150 a night [in 1986], but remember: that stage is a fantasy world up there, as far as the audience are concerned. You’ve got to get some more 93 colourful clothes and liven it up a bit.’
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Being an agent is not an easy job though, and the rewards are not massive unless you are fortunate enough to sign an act that hits the big time. Even then, slick, high-level management companies are likely to step in and sideline you at the earliest opportunity, offering lucrative deals and smooth patter. In most clubs, acts are often paid in cash on the night, the fee having been pre-arranged between the agent and the club. Occasionally though, the money is paid directly to the agent, and this means that the artist will be going home with empty pockets, at least until the agent balances his or her books at the end of the month. This no-fee-on-the-night gig is commonly known as the ‘no pick-up’.
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We were skint one night, and we did a gig somewhere near Barnsley – it was a Sunday, I think. We got to the end of the night, the concert sec’ thanked us and said he’d have us back at Christmas – they always said that but never re-booked you. Then, he said, ‘You do know it’s a no-pickup venue, lads?’ We were devastated, and the singer just sat on the step outside with his head in his hands, almost in tears, saying that was it, he was going to pack it 94 all in.
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Of course, a no-pick-up gig every so often ensured that the agent could get their commission from the performer without chasing it up for weeks, so it was a shrewd business practice, really. Club bands in the 1970s and 1980s received considerable kudos from the local people. Many were well-known in the area and had a certain status in their own field. Even today, many people can remember some of the local talent. Names such as Bitter Suite, The Gents, Smart Ass and The Tubeless Hearts are still often bandied around. One must also not forget to mention Ponder’s End, a band that featured Doncaster’s own John Parr for many years before he shot to international fame in the 1980s.