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MARCH 6-12, 2019

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THE LEDE

“I lost a son, man. Son died when he was fourteen years old. We had a robbery, and I lost him. ... That was the worst thing that happened in my life ... It don’t stop me from what I’m doing, but I have times when it does come up and it really bothers me. ... He was only fourteen. That was 2008. ... I think about him. He would want me to keep going, you know?”

PHOTO BY THEO WELLING

REUBEN GOULBOURE, OWNER OF MI HUNGRY BBQ & JAMAICAN CUISINE, PHOTOGRAPHED AT HIS FOOD TRUCK IN NORTH ST. LOUIS ON TUESDAY, JULY 13. riverfronttimes.com

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Dueling Disasters

e know the COVID-19 pandemic has made a lot of simmering problems worse, but it can be hard to keep so many tragedies in the frame at once. In this week’s cover story, veteran reporter and frequent RFT contributor Mike Fitzgerald forces the opioid epidemic back into focus. Not only has the crisis of overdoses gotten worse, it’s exploded with the rise of fentanyl. Missouri is now on pace for an all-time record in overdose deaths, and it’s only speeding up. Mike tells the story through Pamela Paul. Stocked with compassion and Narcan, Pastor Pam walks the neighborhoods in hopes of saving those along the way. As Mike reveals, she is motivated by a tragedy she knows all too well. —Doyle Murphy, editor in chief

TABLE OF CONTENTS Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Doyle Murphy

E D I T O R I A L Digital Editor Jaime Lees Interim Managing Editor Daniel Hill Staff Writer Danny Wicentowski Contributors Cheryl Baehr, Eric Berger, Jeannette Cooperman, Mike Fitzgerald, Ryan Krull, Andy Paulissen, Justin Poole, Theo Welling, Ymani Wince Columnists Thomas Chimchards, Ray Hartmann Editorial Interns Zoë Butler, Holden Hindes, Erin McAfee, Jack Probst, Victor Stefanescu

A R T

P R O D U C T I O N

Art Director Evan Sult Production Manager Haimanti Germain

M U L T I M E D I A A D V E R T I S I N G Advertising Director Colin Bell Account Managers Emily Fear, Jennifer Samuel Multimedia Account Executive Chuck Healy Digital Sales Manager Chad Beck Director of Public Relations Brittany Forrest

COVER Rescue Mission Pastor Pam is on a mission. In a fentanyl epidemic turbocharged by the COVID-19 pandemic, she must first save lives Cover photo by

ERIN MCAFEE

C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

E U C L I D M E D I A G R O U P Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services Stacy Volhein www.euclidmediagroup.com N A T I O N A L

A D V E R T I S I N G

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INSIDE The Lede Hartmann News Big Mad Feature Cafe Short Orders Reeferfront Times Culture Calendar Savage Love

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Correction: Aaron Mayfield of Euclid Records was misidentifed in a photo cutline in last week’s cover story. We regret the error.

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HARTMANN Our Red State’s Progressive Opinions Imagine if St. Louisans dominated Missouri politics BY RAY HARTMANN

hat does the typical Missourian think about the role of state government today? Ask that question in an unalloyed manner and most respondents would conjure a conservative, pro-gun, anti-tax, antiabortion, family-values voter. It is broadly presumed that the typical Missourian lives outstate and harbors at least some resentment of metropolitan elites sneering at traditional norms. This is especially true of the political class. It’s not just that the state is dominated by conservative Republicans, in no small part due to gerrymandering. Even when Democrats were in charge, had Missouri politics been set to a soundtrack, the sounds of country music would have been audible. Politicians presume Missourians are overwhelmingly conservative socially. They presume that they’re steadfastly opposed to tax increases of any kind. They presume wrong. Yes, Missouri is presently a deep red state, but as recently as seven years ago, Democrats held almost all statewide offices. The state is subject to political shifts, sometimes dramatic ones. Most importantly, it is more divided down the middle — culturally as well as politically — than most observers would assume. The most obvious recent illustration was the vote by 53 percent of state residents to require that the state join the large majority of its counterparts in expanding Medicaid coverage. Conservative politicians simply rejected democracy on this point, much as they did

when a majority of voters thought they were imposing stronger regulations on puppy mills or — many years earlier — outlawing concealed carry of firearms. Even accepting that there have been more conservative victories than liberal ones on referenda over the years, Missouri is actually more divided down the middle than most assume. Last year, for example, Pew Research reported that Missourians who believe abortion should be outlawed in all or most cases outnumber those who do not by a margin of just 50 percent to 45 percent. So, let’s assume for a moment that the viewpoints of the residents of Missouri’s 87th House District matter as much as the mythical “typical” conservative Missourian from outstate. It’s the St. Louis County district encompassing Brentwood, Clayton, Ladue, Richmond Heights and University City. The 87th is overwhelmingly blue, having reelected state Representative Ian Mackey for a second term in 2020 with no opposition in either the Democratic primary or general election. One of the reasons for that is Mackey’s performance — he is second to none in the energy he brings to the uphill life of a Democrat in Jefferson City. One of the best things Mackey does is to poll his constituents about their beliefs regarding state government and to publish those results for unvarnished, generalpublic consumption. I think every representative should do this. (This is the district in which I reside, so I’m not unbiased in suggesting that views of 87th District voters ought not matter less than those of any other Missourian.) So here’s what Missouri might look like if the viewpoints of typical residents from the 87th District had their say. Mackey’s poll was answered by more than 900 respondents, so while not scientific, it’s substantial. And really enlightening. Here are some of the top-line results of the views of 87th District residents: • A striking 42.5 percent believe Missouri’s current tax rates are too low. Another 32 percent believe they are appropriate, while just 13.9 percent consider them

too high. Stated another way, the people who would raise state taxes outnumber those who would lower them by a margin of more than three to one. • Asked how they’d support raising revenue, 38.2 percent chose higher corporate taxes, 20.3 percent said more taxes on Missourians making more than $250,000 a year, while just 7.3 percent said higher sales taxes. Just 24.3 percent opposed increasing revenue. • 76.1 percent to 18.4 percent, residents believe more state funds should be allocated for K-12 schools. Among those answering yes, 61.5 percent favored raising taxes for this purpose, as opposed to 26 percent preferring decreased funding in other areas. • Increased state funding for higher education was also favored by a large majority of residents: 63.8 percent to 27.2 percent. Among those answering yes, 55.6 percent preferred raising taxes, while 25.6 percent chose decreasing other spending. • 70.7 percent believe more state funds should be allocated for roads and bridges (and they favored raising the gas tax, which recently happened, by nearly the same total). • By nearly a four-to-one margin — 74 percent to 19.5 percent — residents believe more state funds should be allocated to public health. Those in favor preferred raising taxes to cutting other spending by 58.1 percent to 26.2 percent. • 70.7 percent — 23.44 percent disagreeing — favored allocating more money to social services in Missouri, a suggestion almost unheard of in Jefferson City. And by a 58 percent to 25.4 percent differential, those supporting an increase favored higher taxes to decreased funding. • There was also support for more public safety spending, but just by a 51.5 percent to 33.9 percent differential. For district residents to have more interest in spending for education, health care and social services than for public safety pretty well defies any narrative heard in recent decades in the state capitol. • On the matter of public safety, residents were asked to rank the

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most significant factors when it comes to the issue of violent crime in our region. Their number-one choice was “access to guns” — selected by 39 percent of respondents. In order, the residents chose “racial inequality (28.1 percent), “lack of support/ funding for law enforcement” (13.7 percent) and “types of prison sentences” (8 percent). Perhaps the last category would be most jarring for “typical” outstate residents to digest. Given what seems to be the prevailing outstate view that St. Louis is a war zone overridden with crime, the fact that access to guns is seen as more contributing to crime than support of law enforcement by nearly a three-to-one margin is not exactly out of the National Rifle Association playbook. But just imagine what Missouri’s future would look like if we residents of the 87th District had our views regarded as seriously as those in more conservative regions. And once again, if residents of the metropolitan areas were as dramatically outnumbered as the Republicans would have you think, voters wouldn’t have enacted Medicaid expansion over their screaming objections. A little-known fact from the Missouri Census Data Center is that 51 percent of Missourians live within the bounds of metropolitan statistical areas (MSAs). You wouldn’t know from randomly showing up at the gallery of the General Assembly when it’s in session. So why the disconnect? Why are the views of 87th District residents so drowned out in the discourse, such that it is, of Missouri politics? I’ll answer that question with another: When’s the last time you heard a Missouri Democrat passionately campaigning to bring the state into the 21st century by fulfilling its obligations to fund education, health care and social services — even if it meant raising taxes? Just a thought. n Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhar tmann1952@gmail.com or catch him on Donnybrook at 7 p.m. on Thursdays on Nine PBS and St. Louis In the Know with Ray Hartmann from 9 to 11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

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NEWS Crooked Cop Couple Sentenced Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

x-St. Louis cops Randy Hays and Bailey Colletta were sentenced last week in the beating of a Black undercover detective they thought was a protester. The two had pleaded guilty in 2019. Hays, 34, admitted using unreasonable force in the 2017 arrest of Detective Luther Hall, and Colletta, 28, confessed to lying to FBI agents and grand jurors as part of the attempted cover-up. The two officers were dating at the time, according to prosecutors. A federal judge sentenced Hays to 52 months in prison, while Colletta was ordered to serve two weekends behind bars, followed by three years probation. In September 2017, Hays and Colletta were assigned to the police department’s Civil Disobedience Team, better known as “riot police.” Mass protests had broken out across St. Louis following the acquittal of another former officer, ason tockley, in the

SUV Slams into TGE Building Written by

DOYLE MURPHY

high-speed collision sent an SUV careening into the front door of a Tower Grove East building with such force that part of the building collapsed. Bricks rained down on a black Mercury Mariner on July 14 after it slammed into the corner of 3201 Arsenal Street at South Compton Avenue. The driver was able to climb out of the wreckage without life-threatening injuries, St. Louis Fire Department Captain Garon Mosby says. The crash happened shortly before 12 p.m. The driver of the Mercury was headed west on Arsenal and reportedly sped

Ex-St. Louis police officers Randy Hays and Bailey Colletta have been sentenced in an attack on a former colleague. | DOYLE MURPHY killing of Anthony Lamar Smith. The police responded in force, arresting more than 120 people on the night Hall was assaulted. Hall and a white partner were embedded with protesters, streaming footage for police in the command center and calling in allegations of vandalism. Both detectives were arrested, but while Hall’s white partner was released without injury, Hall was beaten bloody and the phone he was using to record that night was smashed. Hays later admitted clubbing Hall with a nightstick and kicking him. e testified that other officers also participated, including around another westbound vehicle before running the stop sign and colliding with a burgundy vehicle that was going north on Compton. The Mercury glanced off the burgundy vehicle and veered into the building. Firefighters and police arrived shortly after. Firefighters from Battalion Four used a winch to ease the mangled SUV from the brick pile, and firefighters escorted six people out of the second floor of the building, Mosby says. A passenger in the burgundy vehicle was taken to the hospital with what were described as non-life-threatening injuries. It was the second time the building had been hit by a car this year, despite being surrounded by cement balls designed to minimize the usual traffic craziness along the intersecting stretches of Arsenal and Compton. Police released few details about the crash, and it’s not clear if charges are expected. n

now former fficer ustin oone. Boone was convicted a month ago. As part of the case, the FBI uncovered a trove of racist texts on his phone. Boone and Hays both bragged about unleashing violence on protesters — until they learned one of their victims was an undercover cop. Even then, it wasn’t the violence that bothered Hays. “Wasn’t just us,” Hays texted to Boone in 2017. “I don’t like the beating the hell outta a cop, but the department put him in that spot, he could’ve announced himself at any time. And he wasn’t complying. The camera thing is just igno-

rant, nothing we all haven’t done and if it was a protester it wouldn’t be a problem at all.” Hays later said that he didn’t see a problem with Hall’s arrest at the time, but now understands he was wrong. Colletta initially claimed Hall was taken to the ground “very gently,” a characterization undercut by the severity of the detective’s injuries. He suffered herniated discs, and injuries to his jaw kept him from eating solid foods. A hole in his lip was large enough to slip a finger through. Two other officers were also charged in the attack. fficer teven Korte was acquitted in a trial this spring. Ex-cop Christopher yers beat one charge in that first trial, but jurors deadlocked on a charge related to accusations he smashed Hall’s phone. In a second trial in une, urors deadlocked again. Prosecutors could still pursue that charge a third time. Boone is scheduled to be sentenced on September 15, just two days shy of the fourth anniversary of the beating. He remains out of prison while he awaits his punishment. Multiple protesters, journalists and uninvolved people who were on the street during arrests have also reported being beaten or otherwise abused by police, leading to more than two dozen civil lawsuits against the city and police. No criminal charges ha e been filed against police in any of those cases. n

No winners in this round of car vs. building. | ST LOUIS FIRE DPARTMENT/TWITTER

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$168 Million COVID Relief Bill Stalls Written by

VICTOR STEFANESCU

COVID-19 relief package stalled on Friday as city leaders clashed over federal guidelines, potentially delaying the disbursement of $168 million in funds to St. Louis until as late as September. In a meeting of the Board of Estimate and Apportionment, Mayor Tishaura Jones and Comptroller Darlene Green refused to move forward with a bill championed by Board of Aldermen President Lewis Reed, citing advice from city attorneys that portions of the plan to fund economic development don’t fit the federal criteria. “It’s in the city’s best interest to make sure that all of our language is explicitly in the board bill before it passes,” Jones said. “Because at the end of the day ... my name is on every report that goes to the federal government every month about how we are extending these funds, and so it is my fiduciary responsibility as an

Sunset Hills Man Charged in Child Porn Case Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

n the internet, no one knows you’re a racist pedophile — unless, perhaps, your email address is racistpedophile@gmail.com, which is one of the real online aliases that St. Louis County police say was used by a man now facing charges for filming himself while sexually assaulting a minor last year. According to charging documents, Michael Ulsas, of Sunset Hills, assaulted a female victim in May 2020. At one point in the footage of the assault, police said, Ulsas can be seen slapping the victim and telling her she has “five seconds” to resume a nonconsensual sex act with him. But investigators digging into the 24-year-old’s online activity found more than the footage of the assault. According to the St. Louis County Prosecutor’s Office, Ulsas used a web of aliases on Facebook “to gain access to his alleged victim in this case” — accounts with

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Board of Alderman President Lewis Reed. | COURTESY LEWIS REED elected official to uphold the . . Constitution, to make sure that we are doing this the right way.” Board Bill 2 outlines how the first of three portions of million allocated to the City of St. Louis in COVID-19 relief funds from the American Rescue Plan Act would be spent. The bill’s failure in the Board of Estimate and Apportionment follows a nearly twelve-hour-long Board of Aldermen meeting last week where the bill was appro ed for the first time. Jones, Reed and Green are the sole members of the Board of Esnames like “Micheal Lightning” and “Micheal Crispy Kanashi.” Analyzing the email addresses connected to those accounts brought investigators to more aliases, including the “racist pedophile” Gmail account. The various aliases referenced in Ulsas’ online footprint suggest he was involved in meme culture and 4chaninspired troll communities where users often use racism, harassment and disturbing content as in-jokes. At a news conference last week, St. Louis County’s top prosecutor, Wesley Bell, told reporters that while his office usually releases information about a criminal case after it’s resolved, this situation is different. “We believe there is investigative value in publicizing information about this defendant,” Bell explained. “We are seeing a new dynamic with social media, and it is creating, unfortunately, an easier path for individuals to prey on people, particularly young people.” Some of Ulsas’ online aliases (see the full list below) are still active, though it appears that at least one account has been taken over by other trolls. On Wednesday, when Ulsas was already in custody, one alias account on Facebook, “Michael Notafryguy,” changed its profile

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timate and Apportionment, the city’s chief financial board. ones and Green declined to second a measure to move the bill forward, despite Reed’s insistence that the bill is legal. “Even your attorney today said, ‘No it is not, it is not illegal.’ It’s legal,” Reed argued. But that attorney — Matt Moak, the interim city counselor — says that the bill fails to meet guidelines set by the American Rescue Plan Act. “It is not apparent that the economic development site in Section Six meets ARPA guidelines,” Moak said. “I think that’s very bad practice.” Section Six of the bill aims to spur general economic development along four streets in north city with the help of $33 million in federal funds. But Moak wrote in an opinion on July 9 that ARPA guidelines say that “the use of ARPA funds for general economic development is not allowed as a general rule.” Reed, though, says the allocations under Section Six are allowable as the funds will be spent on economic development that addresses economic impacts of the pandemic. Recipients of funds must be able to demonstrate that funds target negative economic impacts stemming from the pandemic, according to an A page released by the . . Department of the Treasury.

Michael Ulsas faces three felonies. | COURTESY ST. LOUIS COUNTY picture to Ulsas’ mug shot and posted a screenshot of his booking information under the caption, “I’m feeling really sad and alone [right now].” Another post shared by the account on Wednesday included a link to news coverage of the charges along with a denial: “Everything in this article is fake.”

“That’s what will happen under Section Six,” Reed says. “That’s the program that will be formulated and put together with the measures in place to assure that if, indeed, grants are given out, those grants are gi en out to ualified recipients.” Jones said passage of the bill could result in future financial penalties for St. Louis. “Comptroller Green and I agreed that as fiscal stewards of our city, we cannot approve legislation that goes against . . Treasury rules and could force St. Louis to pay back millions of dollars in funds,” she said in news release after the meeting. In the release, Jones blamed Reed for Friday’s impasse, which she said would delay relief for St. Louis families. et his refusal to fi pro isions to comply with federal regulations, despite multiple attempts by my office to work with him on this issue, will hold up millions of dollars in direct relief and public health infrastructure for St. Louis families,” Jones said in the release. At the meeting, Reed said there’s more at play than issues in the bill. “The only thing that’s standing between people from the city of St. Louis getting relief from COVID-19, getting the resources they need put in place or not, is the Board of EA right now,” Reed said. n This isn’t the first time Ulsas has made the news. In 2019, he was briefly featured in a KMOV report about the use of facial recognition technology. In the segment, Ulsas was asked about the efficacy of using the technology to help reduce robberies at a local gas station. Ulsas was in favor, saying, “It deters people who are up to no good.” Ulsas is now facing charges for possession of child pornography and sexual exploitation of a minor. He is also charged with second-degree sodomy, which Missouri’s criminal code defines as “deviate sexual intercourse with another person knowing that he or she does so without that person’s consent.” Anyone with information about Ulsas or his associated accounts is asked to contact the FBI at tips.fbi.gov or 1-800-CALL-FBI (225-5324). According to investigators, Ulsas’ aliases on Facebook include: Micheal Lightning, Michael Martinez, Mike Mcchikin, Micheal Capone, Michael Notafryguy, Goodguy Mike, Jason Borges and Micheal Crispy Kanashi. Those accounts were associated with four Gmail addresses: racistpedophile@ gmail.com, mikeykanashisushi@gmail. com, mikekanashisushi@gmail.com and emailforariesms@gmail.com. n

THE BIG MAD BAD ACTORS Kim Gardner’s dismissals, what we’re teaching violent cops and critical race fury Compiled by

DANIEL HILL

elcome back to the Big Mad, the RFT’s weekly roundup of righteous rage! Because we know your time is short and your anger is hot: NO CALL NO SHOW: St. Louis Circuit Attorney Kim Gardner has become the subject of repeated attacks from bad actors on the right aiming to portray her as a George Soros puppet out to get white people, or whatever racist nonsense that side thinks will galvanize its base. But it wasn’t racism that led to the most recent round of criticism lobbed at Gardner’s office: It was plain-old dereliction of duty. This past week, Circuit Judge Jason Sengheiser reluctantly dimissed a first-degree murder charge against a suspect in the state’s custody, not due to anything exonerating, but owing simply to the fact that nobody from the prosecutor’s office would show up to fucking court. After three no-shows in May, June and July, Sengheiser cut defendant Brandon Campbell loose, accusing the office of having “abandoned its duty.” Worse still, this appears to be part of a pattern: As detailed by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, two additional murder cases were dismissed within a week, “stemming in part from absent or unprepared city prosecutors.” And while charges have been refiled in two out of three of these cases, only one murder suspect is currently in custody — despite a statement from Gardner’s office claiming Campbell was back in custody, police said at press time he was still at large. They say 80 percent of success is showing up — if you can’t even get that part right, you have problems that can’t just be waved away as political ones. POLICE TRAINING: Let’s say you’re a St. Louis cop, one of the ones who likes beating people or who is just fine with being on a group text with fellow officers joking about all manner of terrible stuff. And let’s say you just spent the past few years watching a criminal case play out against a few of your (now former) colleagues charged with beating a Black undercover detective (current colleague) in 2017 and covering it up. Things probably looked pretty bad back in November 2018, right? Dustin Boone, Randy Hays, Christopher Myers and Bailey

Colletta were freshly indicted, and who could say if more would be added to the list? I mean, you might even be one of the cops in all those videos showing officers pepper spraying people on their knees, slamming random people to the street and dragging them across the concrete for no real reason other than to show them you’re the police and they aren’t. But the years passed, and you weren’t indicted. The feds indicted one other officer, Steven Korte, but he beat the charges at trial. One not guilty finding and two hung juries for Myers. You saw Boone damn near walk, and Jesus, if jurors couldn’t decide if that guy and his phone full of racist, violencecelebrating texts was guilty, what’s the likelihood they’ll stop you? Hays is going to actual prison, but if he hadn’t crossed the blue line to take a plea deal, maybe he skates like Myers. That’s what you’re learning, right? Colletta? She was sentenced to two weekends of lockup and probation. Maybe your brand of violent, racist policing isn’t in as much danger as you thought back in 2018. What did you learn? Delete your texts? Don’t admit anything? Looks like you have a future after all. END GAME: Even in the ridiculousness of the Missouri state legislature there are days that stand out for their brain-melting embrace of fake outrage and deceit. Friends, Monday was one of those days. Republicans staged an actual hearing with handpicked guests to battle the scourge of critical race theory. This is not actually an issue in Missouri (or anywhere), but it’s the latest fashion this season for disingenuous right-wing grifters, and we’ve got plenty of Nick Schroers and Bill Eigels to go around. It’s that the playbook is so worn, so obvious that gets us. It works like this: Find some idea to glom onto, making sure it’s obscure enough that the general public doesn’t know the definition. Define it in such a way as to scare/infuriate your base. (Accuracy is discouraged.) Claim your enemies are conspiring to push this invented and obscure “problem” throughout the land, preferably targeting kids. And insist the people of your party are the only safeguard against this pretend travesty. It’s not a new playbook or a particularly hard one to figure out, but it’s maddeningly effective. Once in motion, you can push any manner of agenda. That’s how you can, say, restrict voting rights while pretending to protect election integrity, or cower to the dumbest of COVID-19 culture warriors while insisting you’re a champion of personal responsibility. And, as we saw Monday, it’s now how you can simultaneously steer money away from public schools and retaliate against anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable as a white person while cosplaying as a defender of children. n

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RIVERFRONT TIMES

RESCUE MISS

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SSION Pastor Pam is on a quest to save souls. In a fentanyl epidemic turbocharged by the COVID-19 pandemic, she must first save lives BY MIKE FITZGERALD

he early evening sun is fading by the time Pamela Paul reaches the end of arfield A enue, ust west of andeenter A enue, a couple miles north of downtown t. ouis. idely known simply as astor am, she mo es purposefully on this warm night, the first riday in uly, her right hand gripping se eral black nylon bags. This is a corner of town tourists ne er see, a place of empty buildings and trash strewn acant lots. ere, people some unhoused come to hang out, sociali e, chill. treet drugs are easy to find. The leader of a nondenominational Christian church in a nearby neighborhood, astor am walks in the company of a church friend, lder enna ykes arper. astor am is on a crusade to eliminate fentanyl, a powerful synthetic opioid painkiller that’s mowing down li es nationwide at a record clip. ike all great e angelists, she takes her message to the streets, meeting people where they are at car detailing shops, grocery and li uor stores, street corners where people are using or looking to use. astor am hands out the black bags, each containing a bo of arcan, the drug that re erses an o erdose from opiates, especially fentanyl, which is up to times more powerful than heroin. n a gentle oice that is both sincere and adamant, she urges e eryone she meets to keep arcan on hand for emergency use. And she reminds them of issouri’s recently passed good amaritan law, which pro ides legal immunity to those who call to report an o erdose or who administer arcan to o erdose ictims. couldn’t sa e my son, she says. ut they can sa e somebody. Pastor Pam describes the driving force behind her mission as her own life e periences, including the fact that both her parents used heroin for many years, lea ing her grandparents to raise her. Continued on pg 14

Pastor Pamela Paul is driven by personal tragedy to save people from fentanyl. | ERIN MCAFEE riverfronttimes.com

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RESCUE MISSION Continued from pg 13

In addition to her son Brian, she’s lost a brother and nephew to fentanyl overdoses. “I understand about forgiveness and redemption, you know,” she says, adding that she herself was addicted to crack cocaine as a University City High School student in the early 1980s. “It was a brief window of time,” she says. “But it was very impactful, you know. I saw things in myself that I didn’t know existed. I saw things about myself that reminded me about others that I did not like. And I just didn’t want that.” ere on arfield on this warm July night, people are in the street shooting off bottle rockets, which explode with a loud pop. The air smells of gunpowder. Smoke drifts everywhere. Pastor Pam and Sykes-Harper meet up with a young woman named Shameeka Brown. The women talk, and then, at Pastor Pam’s urging, all three pray together. “It’s a wonderful thing,” Brown says of their group prayer. “I stay prayed-up.” I ask Brown if she is high right now on fentanyl. “Yes, I am,” she says. “It’s an epidemic. I need whatever help I can get.” Pastor Pam and Sykes-Harper slow their gait as they draw closer to a tiny woman in an oversized wheelchair parked next to a vacant lot piled high with garbage. Pastor Pam stops a few feet away from the woman, holds up the nylon bag and pulls out a Narcan box. Pastor Pam leans in to the woman, who seems almost birdlike in her frail smallness. The woman in the wheelchair identifies herself as Tonya. he reveals she’s been homeless for nearly three years. And yes, she daily injects fentanyl into her body, she says. Two empty blue syringes lay on the ground a few feet away next to some plastic bags. “And so we heard that you overdosed a couple times, right?” Pastor Pam says, holding up the Narcan box. “You know what the Narcan is, right?” “Yes, ma’am,” Tonya says. “And so you’re going to tell somebody, ‘Look, I got my Narcan, and if I’m getting high or not, if I go down, don’t you leave me down here. Bring me back. Period.’” Pastor Pam lets that sink in a

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Faith, Hope and Love Worship Center in the Academy/Sherman Park neighborhood is Pastor Pam’s home base. | ERIN MCAFEE moment. “But there’s treatment for you, all kind of stuff,” she says. “I can get you whatever you need to turn this thing around if you want some help.” I ask Tonya how she got started with fentanyl. She tells me she transitioned to it after the local supply of heroin had dried up early on in the pandemic last year. I ask her if she’s afraid of dying from an overdose. “I’m not afraid of death at all,” Tonya says. “Because I believe in God. But I don’t want to be part of a statistic in killing myself.” astor am promises to find a treatment center for Tonya. “If you can hang on ’til Monday, I’ll be here for you,” Pastor Pam says, and then leans in closer. “Can I hug you?” “Yes, ma’m. I need that.” “All right. You deserve that.” A few minutes later, while walking back to their car, a 2004 Chrysler Concord sedan, Pastor Pam says to Sykes-Harper, “She said she was 38. My Brian would’ve been 38 this year.”

entanyl is scything a deadly path across both St. Louis and the nation like no other drug before it. Cheap to make, highly profitable and extremely lethal — especially to the unwary — fentanyl is churned out at industrial scales in black market labs in China, where the necessary precursor

JULY 21-27, 2021

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Elder Kenna Sykes-Harper joins Pastor Pam in the mission. | ERIN MCAFEE chemicals are easy to find, then shipped to Mexico. Smuggled into the U.S., it is hauled to St. Louis and other major cities by every means possible. Increasingly, it is made in secret labs in the Midwest as demand for it surges. Once treated as something exotic because of its scarcity, fentanyl is now nearly ubiquitous. Dealers use it to cut heroin and cocaine, and they make it the basis for counterfeit versions of popular prescription drugs such as OxyContin and Xanax. And it has triggered an unprec-

edented wave of overdose deaths nationwide and locally with no end in sight. The year 2020 set a grim all-time record for overdose deaths, and 2021 is guaranteed to be even worse. Fentanyl’s impact on St. Louis’ Black community has been nothing less than devastating. The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 93,000 Americans died from drug overdoses during the twelve months that ended in December 2020 — an all-time record, and a 30 percent increase from the year

Pastor Pam dishes out hugs, prayers and care packages as she walks the neighborhoods. | ERIN MCAFEE

Boxes of Narcan are part of the care packages handed out in the community. | ERIN MCAFEE

In Missouri, a Black man is four times more likely to die of an overdose than a white person, according to CDC figures. What’s more, overdose deaths among Black Missourians increased by 30 percent in 2020, compared to 13 percent for white people.

before. That number is even more sobering when you consider that in 2017 and 2018, overdose deaths were decreasing — thanks to a spate of federal and state laws that cracked down on “pill mills” and set up opiate prescription databases nationwide to track the worst abusers among patients and physicians. In addition, a series of lawsuits filed by cities and state attorneys general that targeted the biggest makers of prescription opiates, including Purdue Pharma and Johnson & Johnson, had wrested billions of dollars in legal settlements to fight opiate abuse and pro ide treatment. But now fentanyl, because of factors turbocharged by the COVID-19 pandemic, has blown much of that progress to hell. ase in point The official o erdose death toll is 1,005 for the St. Louis metro area for 2020 — a 15.3 percent increase from the year before, according to figures compiled by the Missouri Institute of Mental Health. All in all, the St. Louis region’s overdose death total has soared 42 percent since 2016, when the official drug o erdose death toll for the year was slightly more than 700. For the state of Missouri, there were 1,842 overdose deaths in 2020 — a 16.5 percent jump over 2019. Opioid-involved overdoses accounted for nearly threefourths of these fatalities. And as the epicenter of Missouri’s over-

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dose pandemic, the St. Louis region accounted for 55 percent of overdose deaths statewide. The fentanyl plague is hitting the St. Louis Black community hardest. Consider: In Missouri, a Black man is four times more likely to die of an overdose than a white person, according to figures. hat’s more, overdose deaths among Black Missourians increased by 30 percent in 2020, compared to 13 percent for white people. The high rate of overdose deaths in communities of color is largely attributable to fentanyl, says Jenny Armbruster, deputy executive director of PreventEd, a local nonprofit group that is leading the fight against substance abuse disorder. “It’s not because more Black people are using drugs at higher rates than they previously were,” Armbruster says. “But it’s just now in a more fatal dose. A dose that somebody may have used with years of experience is now a fatal dose.” Overall, in the St. Louis region, opioid-involved overdose deaths shot up by nearly 24 percent, while combined opioid and stimulant-involved deaths soared by almost 55 percent, according to state figures. Illegal drugs are like any other international import: They are intensely sensitive to kinks in the global supply chain. Pandemic-related disruptions — lockdowns, travel bans and border closures — had temporarily cut the flow of heroin into America’s cities. That led local dealers to push their customers toward fentanyl, nicknamed “fenty,” which provides a more intense high than heroin, but of shorter duration, making it therefore more addicti e and profitable, according to Katie Brown, project manager for Missouri’s Opioid Response Project. “So if you look at it from the economic perspective, it’s cheap to get, and it’s very potent in what it does,” Brown says. “And if you’re a person who’s supplying drugs to individuals, it bolsters sales in many ways.”

entanyl has infected virtually every street drug in the St. Louis supply chain. “There’s no pure heroin out on the streets,” Brown says. “And we’re now seeing stimulants getting fentanyl in them, whether by accident or intentionally. Now people who are using stimulants are getting exposed to fentanyl and not even realizing it.”

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Continued on pg 17

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JULY 21-27, 2021

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RESCUE MISSION Continued from pg 15

Chad Sabora is surprised by none of these trends. A longtime acti ist in the fight against opiates, Sabora is himself a former heroin user who cofounded the Missouri Network for Opiate Reform and Recovery in t. ouis. abora has testified often before lawmakers about the opiate crisis. He played a key role in passing laws to make Narcan a ailable in ails, to first responders and over the counter in drug stores. He also lobbied to pass Missouri’s so-called good Samaritan law, which provides legal immunity to people who call 911 to report overdoses and who administer Narcan to overdose victims. Sabora has watched in dismay as well-meaning laws were passed nationwide that cracked down on prescription opioid abuse, which pushed substance abusers toward heroin. In turn, U.S. efforts to crack down on heroin led the Mexican cartels to focus their efforts on fentanyl, which is more powerful, more profitable and easier to smuggle across the U.S. border. Then the pandemic hit.

“This is not just people who have longterm substance-abuse problems. This is young teenagers, thirteenand fourteen-year-olds, experimenting with recreational drug use and rapidly becoming addicted. Tens of thousands of opioid addicts are being created out there.’’ “And it was just a perfect storm for all these fentanyl analogs that are flooding the . . market, abora says. “The East Coast, nothing but fentanyl. It’s not going anywhere. It’s here to stay. And we’re continuing to enact policies that got us here. The enforced isolation many people endured because of the pandemic, coupled with the stress of ob losses and financial uncertainty, was also another major factor in the overdose deaths, according to Pastor Pam. In the event of an overdose, many fentanyl users had no one with them to call 911 or administer Narcan. “If you’re by yourself, who’s go-

ing to bring you back she says. The biggest spike in OD deaths occurred during the first months of the pandemic in early 2020. That’s when the amount of fentanyl coming into America dropped sharply. Wuhan, China — which is to fentanyl production what Hollywood is to filmmaking is where the first cases were reported. The Chinese government locked the city down completely, putting a serious crimp in global fentanyl production. International border closures and travel bans also made it harder for fentanyl to arrive in America. But then the Wuhan lockdown ended, and fentanyl production

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and exports quickly rebounded. During those two months of initial lockdowns, many fentanyl abusers had lost their tolerance for the drug. When it resumed its normal flows, their bodies weren’t ready, according to Sabora. Then we had a massi e influ come in like two months after the lockdown, he says, and we saw a big spike in overdose deaths during that time.

first met abora nearly four years ago when I started writing about the St. Louis opiate scene. Sabora was running the MoNet recovery center out of a storefront on South Broadway. Opiates, in the form of OxyContin and other powerful prescription painkillers, were still considered a primarily white, rural problem at the time, because the worst centers of abuse were located in places like est irginia and southern hio. “Fentanyl has a stronger rush — you get that warm feeling in your stomach when you use it, abora told me then. “But now that’s all the young kids want. America’s drug overdose death toll was also being exacerbated by gaps in America’s health-care sys-

JULY 21-27, 2021

Continued on pg 19

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JULY 18-25TH, 2021 PRESENTED BY:

#STLBURGERWEEK 18

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RESCUE MISSION Continued from pg 17

tem, such as the lack of universal health insurance and accessible drug treatment. Law enforcement’s prohibitionist approach to illicit drugs also hurt. “Other countries are not experiencing this,” Sabora says. “But other countries have universal health care. They have syringe access programs. They have safe injection sites.” By 2017, the opiate crisis had already been gestating for two decades, thanks to the efforts of pharmaceutical giant Purdue Pharma, and the family that owned it, the billionaire Sacklers. The Sacklers became one of America’s richest families because of OxyContin, which they cleverly marketed in the mid-1990s as a safe, non-addictive way to provide hours-long relief to people suffering from acute pain caused by cancer and other maladies. But Purdue Pharma’s marketing amounted to a giant scam that led to tens of thousands of needless deaths — a scam documented by countless criminal prosecutions, lawsuits and stories in newspapers and magazines. They showed, in meticulous detail, how Purdue Pharma had systematically misled the public and government regulators, while simultaneously buying off an army of doctors who overprescribed OxyContin by the truckload. The pills flooded rural areas across every corner of America, triggering a staggering drug addiction crisis. Crushed to disable its time-release mechanism, OxyContin was snorted or injected. Its popularity soared, and soon it became known as “Hillbilly Heroin.” By the late 1990s, it was the go-to recreational drug for the rural poor. ne of the first national news stories about OxyContin appeared in the July 2001 issue of the New York Times Magazine. Paul Tough, its author, documented how OxyContin abuse had spread like wildfire across economically depressed small towns in Maine, the Rust Belt states and Appalachia — left-in-the-dust places that suffered steep job losses caused by globalization, and where young people faced bleak futures. Tough interviewed a physician in rural Virginia who expressed dismay at the scope of the drug abuse he was suddenly dealing with. ‘’There’s always been a certain degree of prescription drug abuse in this area,’’ the physician

told Tough, ‘’but there’s never been anything like this. This is something that is very different and very new, and we don’t understand all the reasons why. This is not just people who have long-term substance-abuse problems. In our region this is young teenagers, thirteen- and fourteenyear-olds, experimenting with recreational drug use and rapidly becoming addicted. Tens of thousands of opioid addicts are being created out there.’’ lash forward fifteen years. y

this day and age.”

he fentanyl crisis is bad, and getting worse. But addiction to fentanyl isn’t a death sentence. Clarence Cooper is living proof of that fact. I meet Cooper in the church that Pastor Pam oversees: the Faith, Hope and Love Worship Center at 1478 Union Boulevard. Cooper, 40, started using fentanyl nearly twenty years ago. At first, he was a casual user. “Just hanging out with my

Let’s face it: America is a capitalist society, and the global fentanyl economy is capitalism rasped down to its sleekest, most ruthless, most efficient core. It is the Platonic essence of the two engines that drive capitalism: supply and demand. then, drug overdoses had killed about 64,000 people in the United States in 2016 — a 22 percent jump from the year before, with the great majority attributed to opioids. The nation’s opioid death toll in 2016 was more than double the number in 2005 and nearly four times the number in 2000, “when accidental falls killed more Americans than opioid overdoses,” according to the New York Times. The newspaper also noted that drug overdoses were by then the leading cause of death for Americans under age 50, surpassing the death toll from gun violence, car accidents and even HIV at its peak in the mid-’90s. But then, on July 14, 2021, the CDC announced that America’s drug overdose deaths soared by nearly 30 percent, to a record , , a death toll reflecting the pandemic’s impact on the opioid crisis and the accelerating spread of fentanyl. The 2020 death toll estimate is significantly larger than the previous mark of 72,000 fatalities set the previous year. It also represents the largest increase since 1999. Sabora does not expect that the fentanyl epidemic will be ending anytime soon. “It can be made anywhere,” Sabora says. “There are so many entry points, you can’t nail down one. It’s like Popeye Doyle in The French Connection. You’re not going to shut down the pipeline in

friends, being out,” he says. “When I was using it, it was just my drug of choice.” Cooper started off snorting the drug, then switched to injections. “After four months, I started to get real, real sick,” he says. Using the fentanyl would make him feel better, however. “That’s why I stay with it,” he says. ooper figures he was spending $150 per day on his habit, which he supported through theft. “When you’re in that world, whatever is not bolted down, it belongs to you,” he says. A few years ago, he decided to get clean for the sake of his wife and kids. “But when I made up my mind and said I was done, that’s when it was over,” he says. He spent the next four months at his mother’s house detoxing on his own. He suffered two seizures, which sent him to the hospital each time. “After two months, I was hurting so bad,” he says. “My dad came into the room and he told me, ‘If you don’t feed it, it got to leave.’ That gave me an extra boost.” Today, Cooper is making a good living as a union laborer. He lifts weights, runs and prays. He wants to be there for his kids. But he’s scared. He doesn’t know how to protect them from the fentanyl that once nearly claimed his life and that has killed fi e of his friends in the past year. “It’s everywhere you go,” he says.

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“Like back in the day, you couldn’t find fentanyl nowhere. ou had to search high and low. … But now it’s right in front of your face.” In some fundamental ways, it’s hard to feel optimistic about where America’s fentanyl crisis is headed. Everyone seems to agree that in the short term the crisis will only get worse before it gets better, whenever that happens. No one doubts that by the time 2021 ends, America’s official o erdose death toll will surpass 100,000 people. And let’s face it: America is a capitalist society, and the global fentanyl economy is capitalism rasped down to its sleekest, most ruthless, most efficient core. t is the Platonic essence of the two engines that drive capitalism: supply and demand. Ever resilient and resourceful, it provides a product in high demand to anyone willing to pay the price, no matter how many families it destroys. When I think about the fentanyl economy, I think of a perfectly evolved predator, a lethal beast that prowls the oceans or skies, forever on the hunt for new prey. It never tires, it never rests, it never grows old. It just constantly feeds, all the while indifferent to the carnage it leaves behind. And yet, it is hard not to feel a little bit hopeful about this crisis. Somehow, someday it will end, because it must. And that time will come because of people like Pastor Pam, who go out every day and push hard to reverse the awful tide. “This is the thing that a lot of people don’t understand,” she says. “They think people who are drug addicts just want to use drugs. Boom. There it is. Let them go. Natural selection. And it’s not really like that.” Pastor Pam says that when she was using crack in the early 1980s, she didn’t want to be a drug addict. ust wanted to fit in with my friends,” she says. “I had no clue. But then when I was addicted, it was something I was drawn to because of all the traumas I had had.” She says she’s grateful to leave her drug life behind. “So that’s why when I look at these people, I’m able to see somebody who may be completely covered in dirt, I can give you a hug,” she says. “The reason I’m going to be all right is because I’m praying, I’m sincere, and I got love for you. Because, ‘There for the grace of God go I.’ It could be me, it could be my brother. It was my son Brian.” n Mike Fitzgerald is a freelance reporter based in St. Louis. He can be reached at msfitzgerald2006@ gmail.com.

JULY 21-27, 2021

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New Mexico Hatch Chile, avocado, tomato, gouda cheese

LAYLA

supersmokers.com Bacon Jam Burger Affton Burger

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thewoodshacksoulard.com Smoked Burger Peppered bacon, American cheese, pickled red onions, bone marrow aioli, Carolina gold BBQ sauce on a brioche bun.

Smoked Jackfruit Burger Pickled red onions/ avocado/ Carolina gold sauce

8135 Gravois Rd St. Louis, MO banggoodbbq.com The Stanley

YOLKLORE

1/2lb. burger topped with fresh smoked pulled pork, housemade sweet vinegar coleslaw, and melted cheddar on a soft, butter toasted bun.

The Cowboy 1/2lb Burger topped with our signature BBQ sauce, pepper cheese, crispy onion rings, and cherry smoked bacon on a soft butter toasted bun.

atson Rd t Lo is, MO

yolklore.com Classic Burger 4 oz smash patty, cheddar, pickles, devil sauce, and housemade ciabatta.

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1/2 Pound Angus burger dipped in our famous Sweet Bubba Sauce and topped with pepper jack cheese , fried pickles and lettuce and tomato.

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= TAKE OUT AVAILABLE

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CAFE

Out of the Ashes Taqueria Durango is back, and even more delicious, after a devastating fire Written by

CHERYL BAEHR Taqueria Durango 10238 Page Avenue, Overland; 314-4291113. Mon.-Fri. 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sat. 10 a.m.10 p.m; Sun. 10 a.m.-8 p.m.

ngelica Lopez could not process the words coming through her phone the afternoon of March 5, 2020, even though her aunt, who was on the other end of the line, was speaking clearly. Her family’s restaurant, Taqueria Durango, was on fire, her aunt frantically said, and she needed Lopez to call the fire department right away. All but paralyzed with shock, Lopez managed to dial 911 and tell them what was happening. She then left her home, still in her house shoes, to head to the restaurant. She was only three minutes up the road when her sister called with the gut-wrenching news: Taqueria Durango was gone. The blaze that engulfed the beloved Mexican restaurant sent a shock not only through Lopez’s family, but through the greater St. Louis restaurant community. For more than a decade, Taqueria Durango has been a staple of the city’s food scene and on the short list of favorite restaurants for chefs, restaurateurs and food lovers across town. Located adjacent to the Lopezes’ grocery store and events space in a strip mall off Page in Overland, the restaurant had the feel of a hidden gem, even though it was wildly popular, because of its unassuming feel and traditional Mexican cuisine. Its destruction was a gut punch to the Lopezes and their loyal customers, but neither accepted it as a knockout blow. Instead, the family rallied to make sure the restaurant would rise again from the wreckage, working tirelessly throughout the year to rebuild. Even when the COVID-19 pandemic made building

Welcome back to Taqueria Durango and all this: al pastor, asada, lengua, tripas and barbacoa tacos alongside barbacoa platillo. | MABEL SUEN

A fire shut them down, but they refused to give up. materials more expensive and the logistics of permits and inspections almost impossible to navigate, they refused to give up. The outpouring of support from their friends and regulars — including a GoFundMe set up by chef Brian Hardesty of Guerrilla Street Food and 9 Mile Garden — made them realize just how much they meant to the community and gave them the strength they needed to keep going. After fifteen months of hard work, the Lopez family reopened Taqueria Durango on June 12. Fans of the restaurant — who have likely already been multiple times by the date of this writing — can rest assured that the place remains fundamentally the same. Though the fire destroyed the physical form of Taqueria Durango, the service, food and spirit are the same as ever. The aesthetic of the rebuilt restaurant is dramatically different. Gone are the green and yellow

The family and staff of Taqueria Durango rebuilt with support from of foodlovers. | MABEL SUEN walls and wood paneling, which have been replaced with a bright white and grey color palette. The decor is sparse Angelica ope admits that part of the remodel is still a work in progress, but the family simply had to open the doors rather than wait until everything was perfectly in order. Lopez need not worry about the fact that she hasn’t had time to put up wall hangings. The food coming out of Taqueria Durango’s kitchen

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is so delicious, it’s impossible to focus on anything else. Tacos, a signature of the restaurant, are still a contender for the best version in town. Delicate corn tortillas (you can also opt for flour are stuffed to the brim with arious fillings, including fork-tender barbacoa that tastes like a Mexican pot roast, sweet and savory al pastor and shockingly juicy shredded chicken. For the indecisive, the Campechano

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TAQUERIA DURANGO Continued from pg 23

Taco version combines carne asada, chicken and the most fla orful, paprika and garlic laden chori o you’ll e er taste. That same chori o is the star of the hori ollo, another of the restaurant’s crowd pleasers. A thinly pounded chicken breast is grilled, then topped with the crumbly e ican sausage and lu urious ueso and placed on a bed of saut ed bell peppers and onions. The spiced drippings from the chori o mingle with the cheese, forming a glorious sauce that brings a tear of oy to the eye. And they keep flowing. An enchilada, stuffed with tender pulled chicken, is smothered in a deeply sa ory, yet slightly tangy, red chile sauce that’s so good the ope family should bottle it and start an enchilada sauce empire. The carnitas ersion of the burrito mo ado also benefits from this mouthwatering nectar, though it would be a wonderful dish e en without it. erstuffed with tender pork, rice, beans and ueso fresco, this monstrous wrap is perfection of the form. opes, topped with plump, per-

Torta ahogada, a pork tip sandwich with grilled onions, covered with spicy sauce. | MABEL SUEN fectly cooked shrimp, beans, lettuce, tomatoes and ueso fresco, are placed atop a fluffy, fried corn pillow that is soft on the inside but crisped up on the bottom for a lo ely te ture that the ope family has clearly perfected o er the years. owe er, a new dish is ust as wonderful. The restaurant has added the wildly popular uesabirria to its menu here, it’s ser ed as a taco that’s stuffed with the

magnificent slow cooked, chile seasoned shredded beef and molten cheese, then griddled off like a uesadilla. er ed with a side of birria broth the meat’s cooking li uid , it’s sure to be one of the restaurant’s most ordered dishes and with good reason. owe er, if you ha e to get one dish at Ta ueria urango, focus your efforts on the Torto anba o. Really, you can’t go wrong with any

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of the restaurant’s tortas the red sauce co ered Ahogada filled with pork tips, the outrageous spectacle that is the ubano, a kitchen sink sandwich filled with breaded steak, cheese, franks, ham and eggs to name a few but there’s something about the panba o, with its gua illo chile sauce dipped bread and stuffing of potatoes and that mouthwatering chori o, that ust sings the most lo ely tune of warm spice, earth and fat that makes you reali e why basically the entire city rallied around this restaurant to get it back open. Angelica ope has said that, though she knew the restaurant had a loyal following, she and the rest of her family were unprepared for the amount of lo e and appreciation they received following the fire, and she hopes the family can come back better than e er to return that lo e. All you ha e to do is take one bite of that torta or any of Ta uria urango’s outstanding dishes to understand that the feeling has been returned tenfold.

Taqueria Durango Torta Panbazo ........................................ $8.49 Queso Birria Tacos ................................. $6.99 Burrito Mojado ....................................... $8.99 • Carry-out and dine-in

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SHORT ORDERS

[ S T. L O U I S S TA N D A R D S ]

An Argument for Taste In a dispute over whether to open Grbic 30 years ago, St. Louis won Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

enada Grbic will never forget her mom’s reaction to the news that her dad had bought a restaurant. Though he’d been talking about doing so for years, Mrs. Grbic had assumed that her vociferous protest against such a move was enough to persuade her husband. They had three kids and were also taking care of his mother. He worked full time with a steady trucking job; she, too, worked full time. There was simply no way they could do it, she insisted. However, one day, he piled the family into the car and simply told them they were going on a ride. Along the way, Senada, her sister Erna and her brother Ermin sat in wide-eyed silence in the back seat as their parents argued in Bosnian. But it wasn’t just any argument. This was the silent kind that made them realize something big was about to go down. ou know those uiet fights are the vicious ones,” Senada laughs when she recalls the scene. “The next thing we know, my dad pulls into the parking lot of this scarylooking building. We all get out of the car, and my mom is still screaming, but my dad is laughing. I’m still not sure what she was saying, but I can hear it in my head. That’s when my dad said that he’d bought a restaurant. The three of us kids were like, ‘This is so cool!’ But my mom was still holding on to her purse for dear life.” t’s difficult to imagine there was ever a time when Senada’s mom, Ermina, was not wholly on board with opening the south St. Louis institution that bears their family’s name. Since opening in 1992, Grbic has been the most visible symbol of the impact the Bosnian community

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The Grbic family turned what was once a run-down building into a landmark restaurant, making Bosnian food part of St. Louis. | ANDY PAULISSEN has had on the city’s food scene, thanks in no small part to Ermina’s outstanding cooking. In its nearly 30 years, the spot has grown from a simple restaurant to a massive operation that includes an events space, making it the place in town for those who want to experience traditional Bosnian cuisine, whether that means the diaspora who still wants a taste of home, their children who are eager to learn about their culture, or non-Bosnian diners getting their first taste of this rich culinary tradition. In retrospect, Ermina was destined to become the matriarch of such an establishment. Born in a small village in the former Yugoslavia, she not only grew up in the food business — she was actually birthed inside a restaurant. As Senada tells it, the event is one of the best ways you can understand her family’s commitment to the business. “My grandma actually gave birth to my mom at the restaurant, in the middle of a shift,” Senada says. “Seriously. She was working, went in the back, gave birth to my mom, cleaned her up and went back to finish her shift. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about my

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For some, Grbic was an introduction. For others, it was a taste of home. | ANDY PAULISSEN grandmother.” Considering the circumstances of her birth and upbringing in the restaurant, it was no surprise that Ermina would pursue cooking. As soon as she was old enough, she enrolled in culinary school, then got a job at the town’s school cafeteria, where she became a belo ed figure. eryone in the

area knew of her and, as Senada explains, she was considered the town’s sweetheart. It only made sense then that when Sulejman Grbic came back to the town from the United States to visit family, the two would be introduced. “My parents were from the same village, but they didn’t know each other because my dad is older and

“My grandma actually gave birth to my mom at the restaurant, in the middle of a shift,” Senada says. “Seriously.”

Senada and Ermin Grbic grew up in their family’s restaurant. | ANDY PAULISSEN left for American in 1972,” Senada says. “He’d been working in a meatpacking plant and slaughterhouse because that was the trade he’d learned from his grandparents, and he saved up enough money from those jobs to come back to his village and visit family and friends. People wanted to give him a tour of the restaurant my mom was working in, and here comes in this big American hotshot. She was slicing beef and asked him if he wanted to try some. My dad always says he knew right then and there he was going to marry her, because it was the best steak he’d ever eaten in his life.” Ermina and Sulejman were married and made a life for themselves in St. Louis, where they were considered the social hub of a community that included immigrants from Bosnia, Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro and Greece. Senada recalls their house being filled with people all the time they were always hosting parties with her mom in the kitchen and her dad outside on the grill. Their hospitality was so legendary that their friends would regularly encourage them to open a place of their own, planting a seed in Sulejman’s head that would eventually lead him to leave his job in the trucking industry behind and take the leap. The restaurant that would become Grbic was a complete disaster when Sulejman purchased it. As

Senada recalls, the building at 4071 Keokuk Street on the edge of Dutchtown felt like a haunted house with exposed wires dangling from the

ceiling, holes in the walls, no flooring, no kitchen and no plumbing. However, her dad insisted he had a vision, and the family spent four years cleaning up and building out the space to turn it into a shining restaurant that ser ed its first customers in 1992. From its origin to now, Grbic is thoroughly a family business. Senada, Ermin and Erna — until her death from cancer in 2019 — have worked alongside their par-

ents to create a warm, welcoming and delicious space for anyone who comes through their doors. Senada, who went to culinary school like her mother, is committed to carrying on her family’s legacy and is overwhelmed by the love they have received from the greater St. Louis community over the years. She believes the food, fundamentally, is the reason for that and is always thrilled when people tell her that the restaurant’s dishes taste just like what their grandmother used to make. Those compliments sustain her, and she knows they sustain her mother, who she thinks secretly wanted all along to have a restaurant as much as her dad did — which is why Ermina can’t let it go, even though she’s allegedly retired. “My dad is there every day; I don’t know what he’d do were it not for the restaurant,” Senada says. “But my mom is the one standing there over my shoulder. She loves to stand there behind my back and tell me all the time, ‘This is how Mamma do it.” n

St. Louis Burger Week Is Here More than 40 spots are part of the burger frenzy this year Written by

JENNA JONES

ith more than 40 places to choose from and many, many delicious burgers to enjoy, this week is already pretty delicious. The fourth annual St. Louis Burger Week kicked off last weekend and continues through this Sunday, July 25. A burger “passport” will take you around the St. Louis metro area to sample food, drinks and maybe even win a prize. From gourmet burgers to off-menu specialties — everything is on the table, literally, all for $6 per burger. Sides and drinks cost their normal price. Navigate your way through the delicious landscape with help from a map on Burger Week’s website (burgerweekstlouis.com). It will enhance your burger journey, while the passport could also be your ticket to even more goodies, including an “Ultimate Grill Out Prize Pack” for

This delicious burger is just from one of many participating restaurants in St. Louis Burger Week. | COURTESY PAT CONNOLLY TAVERN you and 25 friends. How to qualify? First, collect four or more stamps from participating restaurants. Then snap a picture of the passport and submit your information by email before July 30. Visit Burger Week’s website for the email address and other information. According to RFT’s Brittany Forrest, the event’s organizer, the idea of Burger Week is to get St. Louisans to embrace local food and culture while also motivating them to eat and drink at new places.

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“Local restaurants in the St. Louis area have taken a devastating hit since the pandemic started last year,” Forrest said in a statement. “St. Louis Burger Week wants to uplift restaurants by helping them generate additional revenue and create a sense of community in St. Louis around the love of burgers.” Burger Week is open to all ages, but some restaurants are restricted to those 21 and older. Visit burgerweekstlouis.com for participating restaurants and more information. n

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Top Dogs PETA ranks vegan hot dogs at two St. Louis-area favorites among U.S. best Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

wo St. Louis-area eateries are receiving high praise for their vegetarian hot dogs courtesy of the animal rights organization PETA. Both Steve’s Hot Dogs (3457 Magnolia Avenue, 314932-5953) and Peace Love Coffee, Vegan Cafe and Market (524 South Main Street, St. Charles; 636757-3349) were honored for their offerings on PETA’s Top Ten Vegan Dogs list, securing their spots as two of the best places for veggie dogs in the country. PETA’s list, which was put together to highlight vegetarian alternatives to the summertime backyard staple, includes restaurants from across the U.S. that are responding to increased demand for meat- and dairy-free proteins. With Steve’s Hot Dogs and Peace Love Coffee occupying two of the

The Very Very Veggie Dog from Steve’s Hot Dogs is one of the best in the country, according to PETA. | COLBY CRAIG ten spots, Missouri is the only state to have multiple winners. “Missouri has established itself as top dog with these fla orful picks that leave pigs in peace,” says PETA President Ingrid Newkirk in a release announcing the winners. Steve’s Hot Dogs, which will relo-

cate from its current Tower Grove East location for a larger storefront on South Grand Boulevard, was recognized for its Very Very Veggie Dog, a Field Roast brand plant-based frankfurter topped with grilled seasonal vegetables, tomatoes, sweet relish, banana

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peppers, celery salt and a housemade smokey pepper mustard. Peace Love Coffee received honors for its Greek Dawg, a vegan hot dog seasoned with zaatar and garnished with lettuce, housemade vegan feta cheese, kalamata olives and red onions. n

JULY 21-27, 2021

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REEFERFRONT TIMES

Time and Punishment Released from prison to a world of legal weed, marijuana is still off limits to ex-sellers Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

n July 1, more than ten years after he entered prison, Robert Franklin walked out of Missouri’s Moberly Correctional Center to cheers from a crowd of family members and activists. They greeted him with balloons and handmade signs that read “Welcome Back Robert” and “No Longer Inmate #1019334.” It was a moment Franklin had only dreamed about. The welcoming party included his daughter, now fifteen, who had been eight months old when he was arrested in 2007 while transporting a onepound brick of marijuana through western Missouri. “It was a whirlwind,” Franklin says, describing his final walk through the cell block toward the prison waiting room and exit doors. “I couldn’t believe it was really happening. The first person saw was my daughter,” he continues. “I gave her a hug, and we embraced for a long time.” After stopping at Steak ’n Shake for his first post prison lunch a double bacon cheeseburger with cheese fries, which Franklin calls “one of the best meals I had in eleven years his family and supporters met for a reception outside a Columbia cannabis dispensary. When Missouri voters approved a medical marijuana ballot initiative in 2018, it became legal for patients to possess their prescription appro ed medication no matter its source. But state parolees have to abide by the conditions of their release: Franklin says he cleared the visit with his parole officer, but clarifies that he didn’t enter the business and doesn’t use marijuana because of the restrictions imposed on his parole. Still, with a doctor’s prescription, Franklin has obtained a medical marijuana card from the

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After his release, Robert Franklin, center, stands for a photo with his arms around his mother and Jeff Mizanskey. | CHRIS SMITH Missouri Department of Health and Human Services, just like thousands of other residents. He just can’t use it. In an interview six days after his release, Franklin tells the RFT that he’s been staying in Columbia with his family and spending time with his daughter. They’re making up for lost time. In one outing, the father and daughter went to a movie theater to see the film The Forever Purge, the latest entry in a horror franchise based in a fictional America where every year all crime becomes legal for twelve hours. Of course, nothing so drastic has happened in issouri and yet, there’s no overstating how much legal ground has shifted beneath Franklin’s feet in the years since he entered prison in 2008. What was once a crime that could take ten years from someone’s life is now a legitimate business. Today, if Franklin were a licensed cannabis grower and dispensary owner or e en an indi idual culti ator for multiple patients his transportation of a pound of marijuana would likely be legal. During the reception after his release, Franklin had gotten an opportunity to learn about the local dispensaries and grow operations. He came away from the

JULY 21-27, 2021

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“It just really hit me: I’m here in the state of Missouri, and there’s a business right there selling cannabis like I just did, and I went to prison for over twelve years for the same plant.” conversations stunned. “It felt like it wasn’t real,” he says now. “Like, how could this be? I did all this time for the same thing they’re doing, but they’re doing a major scale.” While Missouri’s marijuana industry is moving forward, the state’s justice system has largely left drug offenders like Franklin

behind. Before his release, he was among the more than two hundred Missouri inmates serving ten-year “mandatory minimum” sentences, punishments meted out without regard for whether the subjects were nonviolent drug criminals. Like Franklin, many found themselves serving 10 to 30 years, e en life terms without parole the equivalent punishment for first degree murder. But in May, Missouri Governor Mike Parson commuted Franklin’s 22-year sentence, making him the ninth drug offender to be granted parole eligibility under the governor’s clemency program since 2020. But for federal drug offenders like Eric McCauley, who spent more than twelve years in prison on mari uana trafficking and conspiracy charges before his release last month, the path to freedom started with a clemency application addressed to then-President Donald Trump. n anuary, Trump issued a flurry of last-minute pardons before he left office. c auley wasn’t one of them. He would ultimately be released through a different Trump-era policy, the 2018 First Step Act, which allowed federal judges to issue thou-

Eric McCauley, center, with girlfriend Jessica Orton and son Ethan. | JESSICA ORTON sands of “compassionate release” orders, including many released as the pandemic swept through prison facilities in 2020. Like Franklin, McCauley had grown up in Boone County and entered prison with an exceptionally harsh sentence for marijuana years that separated him from his young child. On June 24, McCauley stepped off a Greyhound bus in St. Louis, then drove with his mother to a nearby hotel. Waiting there was his son, who had recently graduated high school. McCauley wrapped his arms around him. “As we were leaving the hotel,” McCauley recalls in an interview, “my son points across the street and says, ‘Hey dad, there’s a dispensary.’” Less than two days out of prison, McCauley felt a blur of emotions as he registered his son’s observation and what it meant about the state he had finally returned to after so many years. “That might seem regular to normal people, but I guess [the dispensaries] are everywhere now,” he continues. “It just really hit me: I’m here in the state of Missouri, and there’s a business right there selling cannabis like I just did, and I went to prison for over twelve years for the same plant.” Sentenced in 2012 on multiple counts of mari uana trafficking

and money laundering, McCauley was accused of running a massive marijuana operation throughout Missouri between 2005 and 2008. In 2007, police in Columbia raided a stash house used by McCauley and his codefendants, seizing more than $200,000 and 240 pounds of cannabis. According to McCauley, the marijuana ring was a business he had hoped to transition to legality, a jump that he says other former black-market weed dealers have since made in Missouri’s medical marijuana market. McCauley’s arrest and convictions put those plans on hold, possibly forever. With marijuana still flatly illegal on the federal le el, McCauley is prohibited from obtaining Missouri’s legal medical marijuana. He says he takes Prozac to treat anxiety and other mental health issues related to his time in prison, but adds, “I think cannabis would be much better.” For his chronic leg pain, he downs as much Ibuprofen as he can take, though the medication “barely helps.” “I don’t want to have anything to do with opiates,” McCauley explains. “But I could get a prescription for Percocet and send a picture of the pill bottle to my super ised release officer. could take all I want. I can’t do the same with cannabis.” n

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JULY 21-27, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

HELP WANTED ST. LOUIS AND SURROUNDING AREAS

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JULY 21-27, 2021

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MAY 12-18, 2021

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CULTURE [THE NEED FOR SPEED]

St. Charles Race Car Driver Aims for Indy Written by

ZOË BUTLER

hen Grant Palmer turned sixteen years old, he was given the choice of getting his first car or his first go kart. Having already raced for two years out of what is now World Wide Technology Raceway in Madison, Illinois, he went with the obvious choice at the time — the go kart. “There’s some days my parents probably wish I chose the car, but they’re supportive of me,” the St. Charles resident says. He credits this support, in part, to his dad’s experiences drag rac ing in the ’90s and his mom’s ob

[WRESTLING]

Rage in the Chase Wrestling returns to the Chase Park Plaza, thanks to Billy Corgan Written by

JAIME LEES

illy Corgan is bringing wrestling back to the Chase Park Plaza. Yes, that Billy Corgan. The Smashing Pumpkins singer has found ways to occupy his time since the crash-and-burn ending of the grunge era. In addition to continuing to work on music and spending time performing longass gigs in his Chicago-area tea shop, the frontman has also invested in wrestling. Big time.

Grant Palmer is a trying to climb the racing ladder. | COURTESY GRANT PALMER session with NASCAR driver Tony Stewart. Now twenty years old, Palmer has won a SCCA Super Tour FX class championship, and he recently competed in the 2020 British Racing and Sports Car Club FF1600 championship for Low Dempsey Racing. The next step in his career, he says, is the Road to Indy. “Right now, I’m in USF2000,” Palmer explains. “And we’re con sidered to be on a ladder system, where you work your way to the He bought the National Wrestling Alliance in 2017, but he’s been a part of the wrestling business for a decade now. Corgan founded Resistance Pro Wrestling in 2011 and later became the president of Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, but left the company just a few years later. And now he’s bringing the National Wrestling Alliance to St. Louis for a fournight engagement at the Chase Park Plaza (212 North Kingshighway Boulevard, 314-633-3000) in the Central West End. The Chase (which is now actually technically named the Chase Park Plaza Royal Sonesta St. Louis) famously held wrestling events that aired on television station KPLR 11 from 1959 until 1983. The “Wrestling at the Chase” show was extremely popular and was hosted by various famous St. Louisans like Cardinal Joe Garagiola Sr. The location of these new matches is sure to give St. Louisans a bit of déjà vu, too, because the events will be held in the Chase’s Khorassan Ballroom, just like they were back in the day. “To be here, to celebrate this community, and to have this community celebrate our return after 37 years is truly

top.” The “top,” of course, is the Indy , the year old race at n dianapolis Motor Speedway in Speedway, Indiana. The road to that apex will require Palmer to first succeed in the to make it to the Indy Pro 2000 to make it to the Indy Lights to make it to the IndyCar Series. “It’s a very historic race,” Palm er says of the Indy 500. If he makes it, Palmer would be only the third lack race car

driver to compete in Indy’s histo ry, and if he won, he’d be the first Black driver to do so. ust first want to be a race car driver,” Palmer says. “And then secondly, I want to be an inspira tion for a lot of people, someone that they can look up to.” His current obstacle right now, though, is receiving the proper funding to get him there. In rac ing, drivers are responsible for providing the funding for their teams, which includes transporta tion, the use of the car, the team members and all other expenses. Currently, Palmer is saving up by teaching race car dri ing to kids and adults at the Gateway Kart plex within the World Wide Tech nology Raceway. He also started a GoFundMe with the goal of reach ing $200,000. While the money is needed, Palmer’s focus is lasered in on the fundamentals of racing. “I don’t really think about how fast I’m going,” Palmer says. “I just think about where to brake, where to turn in, how to pass.” Asked if he ever gets scared, he shrugs. “You don’t really have time to think about being scared,” Palmer says. “You’re just thinking about what you should do next.” n

Billy Corgan at a news conference describes plans for the National Wrestling Alliance’s upcoming event at the Chase Park Plaza. | SCREENSHOT/NWA special to us,” Corgan said during a recent press conference at the Chase. This series isn’t all a nostalgia trip, though. The events will include the firstever all-women’s wrestling pay-per-view event and a celebration of the National Wrestling Alliance’s 73rd anniversary, or “NWA 73.” Also of interest to locals: One of our

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own is a top contender for the NWA World Championship. So keep an eye out for Trevor Murdoch and make sure to cheer extra hard for our hometown guy, who the Riverfront Times has kept an eye on since 2012. The events at the Chase run from Wednesday, August 28, through Saturday, August 31. Tickets are on sale through Ticketmaster. n

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JULY 21-27, 2021

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CALENDAR

WEEK OF JULY 21-27

Think The Roots if they practiced in a basement in your neighborhood. They understand this city and shape those St. Louis blues into a smooth a groo e and a mellow beat. Between their new album Moonglow and last year’s double releases of a rarities collection and a retrospecti e, these guys stay busy e en after doing it for more than fifteen years. llphonics don’t seem like they’re going to stop, and why should they? One Nation Under a Groove: This show is part of the Tower roo e Concert Series. The show is open to all ages, so bring the kids. If it looks gloomy, maybe grab an umbrella as the e ent will happen, rain or shine. Be sure to get there early to catch Tristaño opening. This is one show you shouldn’t miss. —Jack Probst

FRIDAY, JULY 23 Roller-Skating in Forest Park Available daily. Steinberg Skating Rink, 400 Jefferson Drive. Free. We usually mark the end of winter in St. Louis by the closure of Steinberg Skating Rink in Forest Park for the season. But since a rink this large and flat shouldn’t go to waste, you can now drop in with your rollerblades or roller skates and go for a spin in the summer bree e. ou don’t e en need to pay to book a time slot, either. Mary Shocklee, who runs High Rollers Skate Shop and is an enthusiastic supporter of quad culture, is part of a crew that helped broker a deal with Mayor Tishaura Jones and the city parks department to open the rink to wheeled skaters this summer. t’s now open e ery day. ut it isn’t ust hocklee’s crew that has permission to roll there. Anybody who wants to go for some solo spins is also allowed to drop in whene er they’d like. Roll Deep f you don’t like to skate solo or you want to make some new friends, the High Rollers Skate Shop hosts frequent skate sessions for those who want to find their roller family. eep an eye on the High Rollers Skate Shop Facebook page for information about their ne t e ent. —Jaime Lees

SATURDAY, JULY 24 Starwolf with Holy Posers and Drangus 7 p.m. Saturday, July 24. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $12. 314773-3363. offbroadwaystl.com. ast year forced e ery band you know to alter their plans. New releases didn’t go as planned, and li e shows were near impossible to carry out. Starwolf is making up for that lost time with this show celebrating their fantastic new EP Astro Lobo, released last ctober. ot only do they ha e a ridiculously fabulous name, their blend of lo fi chillwa e think Washed Out and Neon Indian)

SUNDAY, JULY 25 Style on a Sunday Time to lace ‘em up. | COURTESY HIGH ROLLERS SKATE SHOP

St. Louis’ long-lived Illphonics are playing Tower Grove Park this weekend. | VIA THE BAND is mixed with a healthy dose of electro funk A riest comes to mind . As if the night couldn’t get any dreamier, Holy Posers and Drangus are opening to complete a perfect blend of smooth and funky synthpop. Give Me a Sign f you’re finally ready to head back to the li e music scene, this show is a perfect umping on point. or those who can’t make the show, Astro Lobo is a ailable digitally and on inyl on the tarwolf andcamp page star-

wolftheband.bandcamp.com). —Jack Probst

Illphonics with Tristaño 7 p.m. Saturday, July 24. Stupp Center at Tower Grove Park, 3655 Southeast Drive. Free. 314-771-2679. Illphonics are local legends. They’re an incredibly talented group of dudes who take hip hop and fuse a , rock and soul into it.

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1 p.m. Sunday, July 25. Old Carriage Pavilion, Tower Grove Park, 4214 Main Drive. $35 to $65. Shop away your Sunday scaries with a style mixer and fashion market featuring ten local bouti ues in one of t. ouis’ most fashionable parks. At Style on a unday, shop ’til you drop or participate in the e ent’s clothing e change. For each bin of clothing you bring into the exchange, you will get a bag to fill on your way out. Also, head o er to a li e style workshop led by the e ent’s hosts, ourtney A , two best friends trying to make personal style “fun and therapeutic. efto er clothing from the exchange will be donated to a local women’s charity, and a portion of proceeds from the e ent will go toward lack in t. ouis ashion, a nonprofit celebrating lack creati es in the city’s fashion industry. Shop Smart: Ticket prices range from $35 to $65, before fees. The least e pensi e onscious ashionista” package gains you access to the clothing exchange. The most e pensi e ashionista” gets you entrance into the e ent an hour early, as well as the light refreshments and signature mimosas offered at the middle price point. Register for the e ent through tyle on a unday’s e entbrite page. —Victor Stefanescu n

JULY 21-27, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

JULY 21-27, 2021

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SAVAGE LOVE In the Straights Hey, Dan: My wife got drunk at a vacation house we rented with a bunch of friends and cheated on me with my best friend in the hot tub. They didn’t have sex but they did other things. I wasn’t there but there were eight other people in the hot tub and the jets were on so no one else saw what was going on “under the water.” My wife told me about it afterward and I was hurt but also kind of excited. She proposed we “even the score” by asking my friend and his wife to have a foursome. They agreed but the experience was miserable. My wife and my friend were very into each other and my friend’s wife was willing but I was having a hard time enjoying myself with a woman I had no interest in while my wife did things for my best friend that she would never do for me. She let him come in her mouth, which is something she never lets me do, and she did it right in front of me. Now she says she will do that for me but only if she can keep doing it for him. This seems deeply unfair. We have kids and I don’t want to get divorced but I’m concerned that I’m going to keep getting hurt if I stay. What can I do? Help Overcoming Terrible Worries About This Entire Relationship Hm. I’m not convinced events went down as described, HOTWATER, or that your wife went down as described — hell, I’m not convinced your wife exists. There are just too many “unwilling cuckold fantasy” tropes in your letter, HOTWATER, from your wife cheating on you in the most humiliating way possible (with your best friend and in front of other friends), to your wife doing things for another man that she won’t do for you (and doing those things in front of you), to the sexual blackmail your wife is now subjecting you to (she’ll allow you to come in her mouth on the condition that your best friend gets to keep coming in her mouth). And the presence of an inert-bordering-houseplant best friend (did he have nothing to say to you?) with the equally inert wife (did she have no reaction to being rejected by you?) don’t make your question seem any more credible. But on the off, off, off chance there is a wife, there was a vacation

house, and something happened in a hot tub … if you can’t make a credible threat of divorce, HOTWATER, then you’re fucked. Your wife wants to dictate terms and set conditions — conditions like you’ll only get X from her (X = coming in her mouth) if she gets to do X with someone else — and if her behavior at that vacation house is any indication, HOTWATER, she’s gonna X around with other guys whether you like it or not. You can tell her she’s not allowed to do anything like that ever again — you can insist on strict monogamy — but having seen what she’s capable of, under and over the water, will you ever feel comfortable letting your wife out of your sight again? Will you ever be able to leave her alone with your best friend Groot again? If the thought of your wife cheating turned you on, HOTWATER, you might be able to make this work. And perhaps it does turn you on. You said you were excited when your wife first confessed what she’d done in that hot tub with your best friend, but things went south during the foursome you had to “even the score.” Maybe you don’t want the score to be even? If the thought of a “deeply unfair” one-sided open relationship turns you on — if the thought of getting to come in your wife’s mouth, say, one time for every ten times your best friend gets to come in her mouth — then you should think about sharing that information with your wife. It could be the start of something big — it could be the start of an invigorating sexual adventure — or it could be the beginning of the end. But seeing as the end seems inevitable anyway … why not go down swinging? Hey, Dan: I spent two years with a man I thought I would marry. Then he lost his job in Italy, where we lived, and COVID-19 made it impossible for him to find another job, so he returned to his home country. I would have done the same if I were in his place. I spent the last five years getting my degree and I’m a woman who is working in my field, and I wouldn’t give that up to follow a man to another country. But his decision to go nevertheless broke my heart. Two months later he changed his mind and wants a future with me in Italy. We decided to meet in August to discuss our future and in the last three weeks we have exchanged

so many messages of love. Then, classically, I met someone else. I explained my situation to him — that I’m going on holiday with my ex and that we are talking about getting back together — and he appreciated my honesty and said that enjoying the moment is more important to him than thinking about the future. A week later we slept together. The problem is that I’m still in love with my ex and I want him to return to Italy and be my boyfriend again. But I can’t erase my feelings for this new man. This is a difficult situation, and it’s hard to talk about it, even with my friends. Do you have any suggestions? Messy Emotions, Sensitive Situation You and your ex-boyfriend are still exes, which means you’re free to do whatever/whoever you like. Same for your ex, MESS, and for all you know he has dated and/or fucked another girl or girls and those experiences helped him realize you were the one he wanted. If he’s the one you want — and if you, like most people, are only allowed to have one — then you’ll have to end things with Mr. Enjoying The Moment when your ex returns or isn’t your ex anymore, MESS, whichever comes first. That’s assuming r. Moment is still in your life at that point. Mr. Moment could wind up exiting your life just as quickly as he entered it, e.g., he could ghost on you tomorrow, or you could discover something about him next week that dries you up. But even if you ultimately have to end things with Mr. Moment because you’re getting back together with your ex — if you have to end things with Mr. Moment for that reason and no other — you don’t have to erase your feelings. You can be sad about that ending and happy about pickings things back up with your ex at the same time. Hey, Dan: I’m a straight, cis man in his late twenties and recently met a hot kinky woman my age on a kink/ hookup app. We’ve had two meals together and six awesome fucks, all at my place. We’re on the same page about this being casual. She’s never mentioned anything about being married but I’m pretty sure she’s either married or recently separated. Instagram and Facebook make it clear that until at least two months ago there was a husband in her life.

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I don’t care if she’s single or married or separated, but I wonder if I should mention to her that I’m aware her life is a little more complicated than she’s let on. If there’s a chance she’s stressing about the (possible) deception, I could save her the stress. Do I tell her what I know? Knowing Me, Knowing You That hot kinky woman could be cheating on her husband or recently divorced or recently widowed. Whatever’s going on, KMKY, she’s had lots of opportunities to open up to you about her life — six amazingly awesome fucks, two hopefully delicious meals — and she’s chosen not to. Sharing details about your life might inspire her to open up about hers, KMKY, but telling her you’ve been lurking on her social media — particularly if she didn’t share her handles with you — could piss her off. That said, I don’t blame you for checking out her Instagram or Facebook accounts. It’s natural to be curious about the people you’re fucking and it’s weird when people post things to public social media accounts and then get upset when someone they’re fucking — technically a member of the public — sees those posts. But the willingness of a new sex partner to demonstrate that they respect our privacy, maybe even a little more than we respect our own, can go a long way toward establishing trust. And not bringing up what you may have seen on the social media accounts of someone you’ve only recently met or started fucking demonstrates tact. And finally, , kink might have something to do with why this woman hasn’t opened up to you about other parts of her life. Some kinky people prefer play partners who don’t know the mundane details of their everyday lives — for some, being known only as a Dom or a sub or an AB or an LG or a no recip oral cum dump latex gimp makes it easier to step into their fantasy role. If that’s the case with this woman, KMKY, knowing you know what you know about her — and learning how you came to know it — might wind up disqualifying you as a friend and ruining you as a play partner. mail@savagelove.net @FakeDanSavage on Twitter www.savagelovecast.com

JULY 21-27, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

JULY 21-27, 2021

riverfronttimes.com

JULY 21-27, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

JULY 21-27, 2021

riverfronttimes.com

Riverfront Times, July 21, 2021

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