RAOA Monthly February 2014

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monthly

RAOA

FEB 2014 Issue 7

QR CONTEST BY FREDWAMPY CONFESSIONS V D AY E D I T I O N FEATURE

LOVE

CONNECTION VA L E N T I N E M AT C H U P S

>>>Check out upcoming birthdays! Page 62

ON THE COVER

Prisaneify


Issue

07

TABLE OF CONTENTS 3 4-7 8 9 10 12-13 15 16-17 18 19 20-21 22 23 25 26-27 28-29 30-31 33-42 43 44-46 47 48 49-51 54 56-59 60-61 62-62 64-65 66-67

RAOA Reacts Amazon Deals Doodles Comic Mad Libs Loose Lips RAOA Confessions Meet the Press Fact or Fiction? Inspiring Stories Date Night Fashion 9 Interviews FredWampy’s Contest Tragopanic’s Contest Fitness Ask the Snoos Pets Recipes Love Connection Photo Sharing Crafts Demotivational Pics More Mad Libs Love Stinks Featured Thanks Coloring Pages Horoscopes Games Birthdays & Holidays Usernames in this Issue

THE EDITORS OF RAOA MONTHLY thisisnotmyfault keepfighting captivatingbleu re_mix crimsonjella allergictoapples fredwampy kittehmew sp3cia1k sickrose dawlkins hello-everything


“So many pretty people featured!� - smartache

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Valentine’s Day Gifts 1

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6 Victoria's Secret Very Sexy Sheer Body Mist $3.92 + $4.99 Shipping 7 ETERNITY for men by Calvin Klein $26.54 + Prime Shipping

1 Kama Sutra Coupons $5.36 + Prime Shipping

8 The Sex Game $6.29 + Prime Shipping

2 Post-It Notes $5.75 + Free Shipping

9 The Notebook $5.00 + Prime Shipping

3 Two Peas in a Pod Salt & Pepper Shaker Set, Magnetic $12.49 + Prime Shipping

10 Grease $4.99 + Prime Shipping

4 BoldLoft "My Heart Beats for You" Drinking Glass Set $23.95 + Prime Shipping

11 Solid Milk Chocolate Candy Game Controller $16.50 + Prime Shipping

5 Dream Essentials Snooz Silky Soft Sleep Mask ~ Pink $2.99 + $1.96 Shipping 5


All prices as of January 27, 2014

Cook This, Not That! Kitchen Survival Guide   

Save calories recreating popular recipes! Recipes inside for breakfast, lunch, and dinner Hundreds of meal ideas on 352 pages Normal price: $23.99 on Sale for $9.60 http://tinyurl.com/k5lcno3

Goose Down Duvet, Queen Size   

1200 Thread Count, medium warmth 750 Fill Power, 50 oz Fill Weight Hypo-allergenic, Egyptian Cotton Normal price: $479.99 on Sale for $179.95 http://tinyurl.com/k7w5lqt

Pride & Prejudice DVD   

One of the greatest love stories of all time 2006 Version, 129 minutes Based on the wonderful novel by Jane Austen Normal price: $13.99 on Sale for $5.00 http://tinyurl.com/k3lgy3c

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All prices as of January 27, 2014

Vintage Ukulele – Natural   

Size Small, 4 strings, 12 frets Mahogany fingerboard Comes with soft bag for transport Normal price £24.99 on Sale for £18.00 http://tinyurl.com/mc2tfaz

PetSafe Drinkwell Fountain   

Charcoal filters make water clean and fresh Adjustable flow control Patented free flow stream of water Normal price: £38.99 on Sale for £26.04 http://tinyurl.com/ml5jves

Doctor Who –The Complete 7th Series   

Five disc set, Region 2 discs All 14 Episodes from Series 7 Loaded with extra features Normal price: £33.43 on Sale for £23.50 http://tinyurl.com/mjc8c4v

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Valentine Mad Libs!

y,

Morth r a e D

not you’re s n e h w ngles butt in my it with meani pice l o h on ng is a There ’ve tried filli took a class eaten I e .I around. chip cookies mind off it. I’v mfort e o t y c a d get m s to try and chocol n a y r t to t away. na nicking whole lasag to try and ge nd up e rip ree fifty-th even took a t -tree, but I did ng is, I yi sai myself. e lost my bon n. What I’m sa e me n o ak i l e The air ack a chamel he way you m et gb bringin an ever replac c nothing rs, lick. keleie dly you

ecte

Unexp

Dearest , bunnysoup

my how angrily e b ri c s e d is, I’m gin to s I write th my I cannot be A . u o y r s fo tain big toe burn pool, unable to con y m dorable batteling in . Please, accept my a sire the banging de ou’re truly y t a th w o n dk embrace an ye. ye m apricot of

for I yearn tinmf

A

Dearest

utreppenw

itz,

Please, my be torrential jo loved, come with m e urney to th e deepest p on a of my live latypus r. Any fool could see th meant for at we’re each other; won’t you in Havana join me and dance with me ac undulating ro ss the sup much to be erhero? The wait is too the formali ar. Can’t we just cas t aside ty of court ship and sw oop pounding p like Yours tr enises? uly,

chronos42

Dearest

pony_haw

k,

I cannot be gin to desc ribe how m crack burn oistly my b s for you. uttA s in I w , m ri y y l te pants, unab this, I’m ji le you exact z zing to co desire. Ple ase, accept ntain my pants-rippin gest ult, n i l m g y cum- so and know aked embra that you’re dar tmyfa y , c tr e m t u ly the ly banana of ris isisno a eepi , I’m r m e y c e y e . D ow th his be h write t o coni I yearn r c s I for you lu de . As et l c b o a t a stfully, , n u n e u i o s g y , a e s e r b o en re. Pl know P f t 0 k r o c t n a n i r b le_panda i n h I ca nges bu n my c ing des ace and at of i a r b l u r b a q ph em ning distu kum drow n my crushing ly the ly, tai pt my ’re tru sual u ce t you u yo tha ye. n for ence e y m sil ear I y encefor sil

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Of RAOA p0rtable_panda, chronos42, giggidywarlock, killiano92, cheeseburger_humper & awildmattappeared are back in town. time to turn up, bitches.

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RAOA Confesses: Valentine’s Day Edition Most of the time, I have been single on Valentine's Day. During those days, I either hang with friends or cook a giant meal for myself. To get that loved feeling, ya know? The couple of times I have actually had a girlfriend during St. Singles Day, we had a nice dinner, conversation, and adult activities. ~cheeseburger_humper My first year of middle school, you could buy valentines and have them delivered. I sent one to to a cute girl I fancied and had them deliver it 'like a telegram' (which was an option mistake). So I'm all romantic but horrendously, painfully awkward and shy and shit. I had all these wonderful things I wanted to say, like about how the crappy florescent lights couldn't properly capture the radiance of her hair or how perfectly her glasses framed her face. Instead of that, all I could adequately write down before lunch ended and my valentine was taken from me was "I love your " and my name which I signed first like a fool. When they were given out, it was, of course, during one of the three classes I had with her. They sang it and were confused ("...your?"). Laughter ensued, she thought I was talking about her rack (granted, it was a nice rack), and I never lived it down. ~ MarbhDamhsa 12


When my wife and I met we didn't have a lot of extra money so Valentine's day wasn't a real big deal. The first one we just grabbed some White Castle. The next year we decided to just do the same thing, it became a tradition. After about 6 years we moved across the country, when Valentine's day rolled around we knew we couldn't do our normal thing so we didn't make any plans. When I got off work I went home and we decided to just hop in the car and go. So we did. We drove 26 hours, ate, and drove 26 back. A lot of people have said how stupid it sounds but I don't know many couples who can sit next to each other nonstop that long and not fight. ~paintnwood

In college, a friend asked me out for Valentine’s Day. I was dating someone else long distance at the time. I told my friend that I would go out with him as friends for Valentine’s Day. Apparently I wasn’t very clear because he showed up with a dozen red roses and a huge box of chocolates. It was super embarrassing, but it ended up being the best date of my life. He took me to a sushi restaurant and we sat and talked for hours. Four years later and I’m now married to him. I ended my other relationship very shortly after that Valentine’s Day date mishap. Lesson learned: communication breakdowns aren’t always a bad thing. ~anonymous

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WANT TO BE FEATURED? SHARE YOUR BIRTHDAY, WEDDING, ANNIVERSARY, NEW BABY, AND MORE!

ALSO, DO YOU HAVE AN AWESOME IDEA FOR CONTENT?

WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT!


Here is a chance for you to get to know your fellow RAoA community members that make the Monthly happen!

captivatingbleu - Ashley  What is your role on the press? I work on content gathering as well as page design. In the past I have done the I Spy pages, the Amazon.com, .ca, and .co.uk Fashion pages, along with the RAOA Confession pages. I have also put together some of the silly RAOA “ads” you’ve seen in past issues.  Why are you a part of the Press? What does RAoA Monthly mean to you? Kelly (thisisnotmyfault) approached me at the very beginning when she originally came up with the idea of RAoA Monthly. I endorsed her idea from the beginning and did a lot of brainstorming in with her to make it a reality. I think it’s an amazing idea that brings another fun aspect to our sub each month. It’s one of those things that I look forward to using my creativity for each month.  What is your favourite page? That rotates from issue to issue. One of my favorite pages to do is the fashions page because I get a lot of great feedback from it. I’ve had multiple people tell me that they purchased items that were featured on those pages, which is really neat!  What do you do aside from reddit and helping out with the RAoA Monthly? I’m a Speech Therapist. I also hang out with my husband (erok21) and our two dogs (Echo and Tucker), sing, dance, go rock climbing, and go on adventures.  What other things do you want to tell everyone about yourself? I’m quirky, but I’m okay with it. I always love making new friends, so if I don’t already know you, reach out so that I can get to know you! Also, everyone should participate in CompliMonday. It’s a great way to get to know others on sub.  What is your favourite vegetable? This rotates depending on my mood. Right now it’s probably sweet potatoes. Last week it was acorn squash. Who knows what it’ll be next? I love vegetables in general. I keep a mostly vegetarian diet, so vegetables are my shit.

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Inspiring RAOA Stories On Finding RAOA: “He had pulled up next to me at the gas pumps and I noticed his car was steaming from under the hood. I let him know and he seemed a bit clueless. So after I finished filling up I checked it out for him and determined the radiator had a small crack in it right where the plastic on top meets the fins. Wasn't bad enough to cause it to overheat but enough to steam. Told him it would only get worse if he neglected it and said I could help him replace it on the weekend if he needed some help. Told me it was his mothers car and his father would most likely have a shop do it. I gave him my number anyways but I haven't heard anything back yet. It was a neon so it wouldn't take but maybe 30 minutes to replace it. He mentioned Reddit and about it being a random act of kindness and that there's a website on here called that.” ~ LetMeRegisterAlready

On Random Acts of Kindness: “When my grandpa passed away, my friends bought me a plane ticket to be with my family for his funeral. It was one of the most incredible things anybody has done for me. They met an immediate need without any hesitation.” ~giggidywarlock

On Impacting Others: “I volunteer for an all ages music venue nonprofit. Before the venue went nonprofit, 20 years ago, it was my safe-haven where I wouldnt get picked on, teased or bullied. We were all the misfits, the rejects, the freaks and in the Warehouse we found sanctuary. Now, 20 years later, it's now a nonprofit and I'm on the board as a volunteer busting by booty to keep the doors open for kids who love music, love to dance, love to play and dont have anywhere else to go. We provide community without religious influence. We provide safety without judgement and I can only hope that I am helping.” ~ eatingdust 18


Amazon Date Night Fashion Finds

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5 niceeshop(TM) Fashion Women Simple PU Leather Clutch Handbag -CDN$ 8.59 + CDN$ 2.00 shipping amazon.ca

1 Hee Grand Women Color-Contrasted Loose T-Shirt -- $9.99 + $2.32 shipping amazon.com 2 PattyBoutik Striped V Neck Wrap Sleeveless Tank Camisole Tunic -$29.99 + Free Shipping amazon.com

6 Stainless Steel Crystal Rhinestone Huggie Hoop Earrings -- CDN$ 2.69 + Free Shipping amazon.ca

3 Women's Rayon Span Super Comfortable Basic Cardigan -$18.95 + Prime Eligible (Multi Colors) amazon.com

7 H2H Men's Shawl Collar Cardigan With No Button -- $28.99 + Prime Eligible amazon.com

4 FMUK Follow Me Heels -ÂŁ16.95 + ÂŁ2.90 UK delivery (Multi Colors) amazon.co.uk

Want to share your Amazon Fashion Finds in future RAOA Monthly Issues? PM the amazon link to /r/raoapress! 19


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interviews completely unrelated to mordor Will | UnGermane | The Technician Will hails from Memphis and has only been an RAOAer for a few months. He's a service technician for a local computer shop, and interestingly enough, has had an acrylic plate in his head since he was 14. If he could be anywhere else right now, he'd want to be in Scotland. WIll chose his username because he thinks it's ungermane to his identity on Reddit and, like many RAOAers, is a movie and video games geek. Will is proud to be on RAOA because it gives him hope for people as a whole.

Nona | apollymipanthos | The Mad Scientist Nona was feeling pretty jaded about people on the Internet, until she joined RAOA and found a "treasure chest" of amazing people. One day, she hopes to be a chemist, but until then she reads all day, every day. Some of her favourite authors are Ayn Rand, Madeleine L'Engle, and Orson Scott Card. She's mildly (okay, very) obsessed with Batman and Harley Quinn, as well as the Doctor- she'd love to travel through time and space with him! Her username is inspired by the Great Destroyet from a favourite book.

Parker | Coolio23 | The Writer Parker loves giving gifts, so he feels like he's come to the right place! He's an aspiring writer living in Atlanta, GA. He absolutely loves gaming, and is a self-proclaimed movie freak. He's the only blue-eyed blonde in his family, and if he could travel anywhere, he'd take a bike trip across the USA. Though you might hope so, the username of one of the youngest people on the sub has nothing to do with the rapper- he just used to say "Coolio!" all the time! (Although, admittedly, he thinks Fantastic Voyage is ballin'.) Lindsay | pizzapizzapocket | The Resident Pepsi Addict Lindsay likes RAOA because she's better at expressing herself via a keyboard, like much of the sub! She has a degree in social work and is looking to help the elderly with it. Lindsay is totally obsessed with hockey, podcasts, and her five wonderful cats. She says Pepsi is like crack for her, and if she could visit anywhere in the entire world, she'd go to San Diego. Her secret talent is being able to play four different instruments. Unfortunately, there's no funny story behind her username- feel free to make one up!


Yvonne | KITTYCOBRA | The Mama-to-Be Yvonne is a 23-year-old cataholic from Iowa, and though she's currently unemployed, is hoping to open a cat care center someday. She's expecting her first child, and until he/she is born, Yvonne is spending her time playing Diablo 3 and the Hearthstone beta, as well as getting into nail art. She considers herself a huge music junkie, and was actually part of a "super emo" band when she was 17. Her username is derived from her crazy love for cats, and the Cobras, a FB group for her and her nerdy friends. Donald | PlaceboDefect | The Craft Beer Enthusiast Donald is studying civil engineering and business, and a self-proclaimed jack of all trades. He loves longboarding, playing MTG, and enjoys craft beers, cigars, and pipes. He likes RAOA because of how much fun it is to give gifts, and if he were gifted a time machine, he'd use it to go back in time and meet his uncle, who died before he was born. A proud papercut survivor, Donald got the idea for his username while he was studying the placebo effect in class. Jillian | jillrabbit | The Jedi Jillian is a stay-at-home mom, huge Star Wars nerd, and a hardcore gamer. RAOA means a lot to her because she's met some of the best people in the world, and it makes her smile every day. She's stuck in a time warp in more ways than one- her favourite type of music is 90s rock, and she really, really wants to see dinosaurs! She is a 1% Cherokee and 100% double jointed, and her username is an old gaming handle based off the restaurant in Pulp Fiction. Petra | Butturedtoast | The Sock Fanatic Petra is an aspiring ASL interpreter, and loves RAOA because of the great feeling of friendship and love here. She writes short stories and watches TV religiously, and likes to read when she has the time. She has over 100 pairs of socks, and really loves toast as long as it's not buttered (oh, the irony.) Though she can wiggle her ears, she hasn't yet mastered the art of raising an eyebrow. If she could go anywhere in time and space, she'd go to Alaska during the Ice Age.


Scan to start.


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Raoa Fitness the 30 day shred

Jillian Michaels is pretty terrifying...but she gets results like none other. The 30 Day Shred comes with 20 minute routines for you to do daily, with three different levels of intensity and varying exercises.

Available on Amazon for only $6.99 and eligible for Prime! You can’t afford NOT to buy this bad boy.

strawberry energy smoothie Blend 1/2 cup orange juice, 5 strawberries, half a banana, 3 ounces of silken tofu, 1 tbsp of honey, and 6 ice cubes. Then drink it. That’s generally what you do with smoothies.

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K S A S O O SN THE

Dear Snoos, How does one get to the Front Page of Reddit? Sincerely, rarelyserious Dear rarelyserious, It can be tricky, what with the magnetic allure of RAoA keeping your browser pointed solely at the subreddit’s New tab. But try typing “reddit.com” directly into the address bar (don’t forget to press enter!) and you should be all set. Upvotes, Mr. Snoo Dear Snoos, I’m a single dad with a now 13 year old daughter. Although she seems very similar to the normal snarky sarcastic child I’ve loved and raised how screwed am I? And how can I keep her from going crazy over the next several years? Sincerely, travelersoul Dear travelersoul, This is the only advice I can give you on this matter. Blissfully childless, Mr. Snoo

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Dear Snoos, What is the best way of ridding oneself of a /u/Morthy? All the best, wee-pixie Anonymous Hello not wee-pixie! I assume that you have never played before, or have played very little. Let me give you a few pointers: • At the beginning, you will have a few days in which you can’t be attacked. I advise you upgrade your timber camp to lvl 7, your clay pit to lvl 6, and your iron mine to lvl 5. • Upgrade your warehouse to at least level 5, but I recommend level 10 if you’re around your computer often. • Upgrade your village headquaters to lvl 3-5 or so, so you can build a barracks and a smithy. Use these to get 10-20 spearmen and swordsmen. • Upgrade your wall once or twice, and upgrade your mine. • Join a tribe early. You’ll probably have to do this actively, as it’s unlikely to get an invitation. • Don’t waste resources upgrading your hiding place beyond level 2 or 3. • It’ll take a while to get a feel for the middle and end game, but hopefully this is a step in the right direction. Confused by what I just typed, Mrs. Snoo Dear Snoos, I have a pedicure dilemma. At any given moment, due to long distance running, I am missing a toenail or two. But I love cute toes! Do I suck it up and paint the remainder or do I just hide my ugly running feet in sneakers? Love, acisnot Dear acisnot, My best advice to you is to buy a few pairs of toe socks. Any time you want to show off the 80-90% of your toes that are cute, you can cut the toes off the toe sock that correspond to your pedicured nails. Leave the toe on the spots where you’re deficient in keratin. ...or you could just paint the remaining toes black & blue. Then they’ll all match. Nailed it, Mr. Snoo

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Come on down everyone, and join us for RAoA’s newest gameshow, Love Connection! The only place to find your perfect sweetheart, hand picked from our loving members on RAoA. I am Bob Barker and I’ll be your host for the night.

DISCLAIMER: All matches are for funsies only. This is not meant to be serious in any way, shape, or form. If you don’t like your match then don’t talk to them, but it wouldn’t kill you to be nice, seriously. With some people there were not “perfect” matches so you just got some lucky eligble person, who may or may not share anything in common with you, it’s okay, I mean, you both probably like dinosaurs or something, so you have that going for you. Some people received celeb matches, because they were too awesome for a normal person, or because they weren’t single, and it ain’t cheating if it is just a fantasy, right? Right. Just have fun with this, I did.


All right, let’s get started. Let’s begin with some lovely RAoA couples we’ve prepared for you guys. Are you a part of one of the lucky ones? nahcabma ♥ elemonated! | 76% Onward! Suggested Date: Eating good takeout & streaming movies from the couch.

Draco_Dormiens ♥ Mysterious M! | 87% Suggested Date: Cook a lovely meal together & cuddles on the couch. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ xaffinityx ♥ LonelyInterlude! | 92%

Suggested Date: Bird watching & a picnic.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fmradiochick ♥ SupernovaEyes! | 85%

Suggested Date: A picnic lunch & some pyrotechnics.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kitsandkats ♥ Sir_Peanut_Butter! | 92%

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ allergictoapples ♥ chronos42! | 87.3%

Suggested Date: Traveling on April 25th. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Bethanne00 ♥ kubunto! | 80%

Suggested Date: Rocking climbing & go-karting. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nekogrrl ♥ cheeseburger_humper! | 94%

Suggested Date: Hanging out & talking. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ selkiee ♥ misshannah0106! | 83%

Suggested Date: Exploring the woods & taking pictures. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ i_draw_dinosaurs ♥ p0rtable_panda! | 90%

Suggested Date: Museum & walk in the park. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ drowgirl ♥ Tyler_Hunt! | 87%

Suggested Date: Eating & admiring her boobies.

Suggested Date: Using the TARDIS to go to vintage arcades. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ MarsAndTheRealGirl ♥ euphoricentropy! | 50%

Suggested Date: Watching a Star Wars marathon... Or was it Star Trek? They’re the same thing, anyways. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cats_and_vibrators ♥ Pinkkitten90! | 92%

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ inaneparadox ♥ ALiborio! | 76%

Suggested Date: Bar food & mini-golf.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ silenceforsilence ♥ matrixknight88! | 85%

Suggested Date: A picnic & cuddlig under the stars ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ whorecrux ♥ Yokuo! | 89%

Suggested Date: Dinner & long walk on the beach.

Suggested Date: Sharing love for boobs & cats. All the cats. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Lanapalooza ♥ Dedonarrival! | 97%

Suggested Date: Polish your balls, you’re going bowling! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Officer_Pedesko ♥ rarelyserious! | 88%

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lalalalady22 ♥ Morefunnorule! | 92%

Suggested Date: Cooking some pasta & a movie. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ missmercy87 ♥ VectorGambiteer! | 92%

Suggested Date: A quiet place to get to know each other. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Gymgal19 ♥ kooazndood! | 81%

Suggested Date: Rock climbng & steak

Suggested Date: Casual dinner & drinks.

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SukiTheGoat ♥

purebredginger

allergictoapples

What are some qualities you look for in person? 1. are you ed sheeran? 2. can you provide me chicken? 3. do you got a booty?

What are some qualities you look for in person?

What is your idea of the perfect date?

money, a big schlong.

That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

i_draw_dinosaurs

mouthie

cheeseburgerhumper What is the one thing you love about yourself?

I have really great boobies.

What is your idea of the perfect date? An hour shopping at Wal-Mart with no kids

Dedonarrival ♥

M ♥

Yokuo ♥

What is the one thing you love about yourself?

What’s your worst pet peeve? When people apologizing without saying what they’re sorry for.

My killer calves.

If you were a geometric shape what would you like to be?

If you were a geometric shape what would you like to be?

Irregular Nonagon

A circle, cuz that’s how I roll. Get it? Eh?

Well that was fun! Good luck to all the happy couples. Let’s showcase some of the answers we got from the contestants!


RoseMadderX & Jimmy Fallon

Ladybrowncoat

& Guy Fieri

wee-pixie & Seth Green

Pizzapizzapocket

l337chica & Aston Kutcher

MeghanAM & Natalie Dormer

& Wil Wheaton

It’s time now for our special celeb matches! Which famous person is your soul mate?

sugarfish7 & Jeff Daniels

RCJHawk & Leonardo DiCaprio


glanmiregirl & Emilia Clark

A_Blank_Space & Jake Gyllenhaal

Zoobles88 & Will Smith

UndergroundPhoenix & Michael Cera

Derpahontas & Eminem

magicgal86 & Bruce Willis

EmilyTX & Elijah Wood

sweetiebud3 & Jack Osbourne

q-kat & Russell Brand

PrinzessinZaubermaus

Monosentence & Jennifer Lawrence

mouthie & Robert Downey Jr.

& Ryan Reynolds


purebredginger & Ron Jeremy Our maths indicated a 10% match for each inch of “compatibility”, giving you a 100% match to Ron Jeremy.

SukiTheGoat & Rupert Grint We know how much you love this red-headed wonder, and our special algorithms were in your favour to get him as your match!

tandem7 & Yogi Bear Sexy Lips? Check. Hair to stroke? Check. Higher than average intelligence? Check. Grab your picnic basket and meet your match!

stacefacey & Will Ferrell You want laughs? He’s got them. Musical ability? I heard his voice is a combination of Fergie and Jesus, so I think you found your dream man.

Here are some special pairs, we used science and your answers to come up with the most perfect match!

itsalrightt & Mr Bean We know you love to travel, so why not go on a holiday with the king of traveling? Just try not to kidnap any children.

PotatoAssassin & Bill Murray All the fun you need in once person, plus if you have a ghost problem, he’s all you need to call. Plus, he’s rich.

blarglznoflo & Yao Ming You want tall? Here you go. Standing at 7’ 6”, he is the tallest match of them all! Don’t worry, he will get you whatever you need.

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But wait! We’re not done here yet, we don’t believe that only the humans can find love, so I’m here to present,

RAoA LoveConnection: Pet Edition!

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Harley Quinn & Jerecko

Molly & Merlin

Blair & Pixel

Sophie & Viper

Sushi & Butler

Eowyn & Gandalf

Rosie & Thomas

Nalla & Albus

Little & Tinydog

Lola & Cooper


Lavi & Koda

Halligan & Morgana

Pickle & Rio

Mokey & Oliver

Karma & Aldo

Mina & Caboose

Bunny & Skip

Bailey & Bombadil

Josie & Maverick

Franki & Cisco 41


Watson & Doge

Joules & Tallahassee

Captain Morgan & Sid Vicious That is all for today, folks! Thanks for joining us on this adventure, and remeber to always spay and neuter your pets!

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RAOAers Share Their Photos in the Weekly Photo Sharing Thread

ife

AwesomeW

Chronos42

Dedonarrival

krq316

a u h s o j ame

blkfr 43


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PantheraLupus

RelativeGIF

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pony_hawk


Dea

bles88, Dear Zoo

r st acef Plea acey s , journ e, my be

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ly, Yours tru a Becc

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ly yo bud3 sweetie

us Vivacio

Dearest watsoned,

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_Captain_

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truly,

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xo

MORE!

Valentine Mad Libs!


E V O L S K N I ST

A GUIDE TO BEING SINGLE ON VALENT INE’S DAY 49


LOV E ST INKS Single? Instead of sulking around this Valentine’s Day, make the most out of it with these ideas! 1) Instead of wallowing in sadness, hit those postValentine’s Day sales and enjoy indulging in the sweet chocolatey taste of victory! After all, you didn’t have to sit through a miserable blind date with your least favorite historical figure! 2) Throw the party of the year with all your single friends! No couples allowed. Make all your friends jealous that you’re one of the single ones who can still have their pick of all the fish in the sea! Just be careful not to get arrested! 3) Use all of the money you saved, by not having to pay for a date or Valentine’s Day gifts to buy yourself something special. A spa day? A game of lasertag? A trip to Europe!? Dream big my friend and T REAT YO SELF!

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LOV E ST INKS 4) Unleash your crafty side! Gather the necessary materials and construct a voodoo doll in the shape of your ex. Make sure you have some pins! Enjoy!

5) Head out to the bar and wear your single status loud and proud! Take a wingman (or wingwoman) with you and scout out potential dates for next year’s Valentine’s Day! 6) Women: grab your girlfriends for a fun night of pizza and video games! Get ready to fight that boss! Men: grab your boys and sit down with a nice glass of wine and enjoy the latest RomCom with that popular actress you just can’t get enough of!

7) And last but not least REMEMBER:

Images from: RotteneCARDS & someecards & google image search

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for you!

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/r/RAOAnonymous A private sub for members of RAOA who want to discuss mental health and other issues in a safe and supportive environment. Please PM /u/Pony_Hawk for more information. 53


thanks

watsoned

derpahontas

medelle

tyler_hunt

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RAOA Horoscopes Aries

If there have been unusual situations, blocks or delays in the past weeks, clarification and solutions will start to appear. Friends could be helpful, giving you advice, mediating or having other such beneficial interference. Participating in the social life or various group activities will also be beneficial to the relationship.

Taurus

As regards Taurus' stable or official relationships, there doesn't seem to be the case of significant novelty. Be patient and understanding because the period will not exactly be easy, but it can be overcome with wisdom and humor. If you have a new relationship starting off or a passionate love, watch out that it is not negatively influencing your career or reputation!

Gemini

Even if it happens for a misunderstanding to occur from time to time, Gemini's couple life will generally be stable. Sex could nevertheless be a topic of interest for Gemini people all throughout the month, either by reinvigorating the desire, or by the frustrations it might generate. All this is true especially in the case of older, more stable relationships.

Cancer

As Venus resumes its straight movement, blocks and delays will be overcome, the picture will become clearer, solutions will be found, decisions will be made or other significant events will take place. The couple life of Cancer people will acquire a different look, a different dynamics. It will get closer to what it is supposed to be.

Leo

You can expect problems caused by faulty communication, but also carelessness, confusion or incorrect assessment. This month will not be a good time for making decisions as regards Leo's couple, but it can be very good for analyzing the possible malfunctions. Delicate matters might be brought back to discussion & people from the past might reappear in the present.

In this month romantic enthusiasm and sexual desire will be refreshed. The sentimental chances will grow: if you don't have a partner, you can easily find one, and if you already have one - you can find one more! Or, obviously, you can enhance your life by the side of the partner you already have.

Virgo 60


Urges of romantic tendencies and sexual strength and will look for harmony, bringing many satisfactions to your sentimental life. There will be good opportunities for a new love to occur or for bringing an older love story back to attention. Declarations or proposals will take place (indecent, but delightful), precious information for improving erotic standards will be taken into consideration, etc. Some action will be taken this month. Misunderstandings will clarify, blocks will disappear, what has been interrupted will be resumed. The events in this winter will start showing their meanings. If you put it all together and analyze it, you can draw important conclusions for future happiness. If you have a passionate episode the first part of this month might be full of whims or confusing situations. This month is to be unstable and moody. In the first part of the month, misunderstandings or difficulties will be connected to the accommodation, the parents or real estate possessions. The situation seems to be marked by confusion or questions. In the second half of the month, communication will be the one that will cause troubles.

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

This month Venus will be ending a phase of complications, blocks and inefficiency. The past three months, even though not very convenient, must have been rich in important events. Now conclusions will be drawn, things will clear up and new roads will be taken enthusiastically. Venus can finally offer you her gifts: love, fun, good mood.

Capricorn

You'll have magnetism & sex-appeal, you'll captivate & you'll challenge the others to get closer to each other. Thus it is to be expected for you to have quite an active sentimental life of which happy moments will not miss. There seems to be connections between the pleasures & the finances of Aquarius, but it would be more prudent not to mix money & love.

Aquarius

You'll begin a difficult & ambiguous period as regards relationships. Relationships could be tested, the partner might drift apart or have problems (health, career). Disappointments, secret relationships, past affairs back in attention are all possible. The good side of things is that, beyond all these, there will be enough offers & plenty of opportunities to have fun.

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Pisces


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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, RAOA MONTHLY WISHES A HAPPY FEBRUARY TO YOU!


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