R`W\Ya[O`b ĂŤ continued from page 14
“Maybe the jukebox isn’t the best medium to show the world what you’re ‘all about,’� adds The Franklin’s Shearn. “Or for irony. Play some fucking rock ’n’ roll and move on with your life.�
N >ZOg Wb Q]]Z >S`VO^a O`]c\R bVS same time socially dysfunctional nerds became celebrated billionaires (thank The Social Network), keeping things cool and low-key lost its cachet. That being said, here’s a vital piece of advice for bar-going novices: Asking for free drinks virtually guarantees you will not get any, ever. Free drinks are a not a right, but a privilege bestowed on steady regulars, lavish tippers and VIPs as indicated by bar owners. Haranguing your bartender or begging for stronger drinks without being willing to pay for doubles is just about as lame as it gets.
“My regulars know they are getting a strong drink for a good price and tip accordingly,� says longtime Dirty Frank’s bar queen Jody Sweitzer. “They don’t comment on how cheap our prices are and then graciously tip 50 cents.� Asking for the cheapest thing on the menu, noted several on the panel, is also unlikely to endear you to your server, and those who “wave their money frantically and scream as if they have been stranded on an island with no food and water for months,� as Sweitzer puts it, typically meet the same fate. Cliff’s Notes version: Just. Be. Cool.
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ÂľEVS\ 7 O[ really busy, I am smiling on the inside,â€? shares Sweitzer, who has clearly suffered, as all female bartenders do, thousands of suggestions to put on a happy face. “[Those customers don’t] have the
ability to understand that I wouldn’t show up to their job when they are deep in shit and make them feel worse because their countenance was not to my liking.â€? Multitasking, a permanent state for anyone who works at a bar, does not include matchmaking services from Gunn: “Guys should not ask bartenders for help picking up girls.â€? As for “that guyâ€? who keeps annoyingly inserting himself into other people’s conversations? Glommy singles who drive away other guests acquire unshakably bad reputations with bartenders quickly. Lest the bar-going public lose confidence in their best-loved mixmaster, fear not. The best in the business cleave to Heather Keating of the P.O.P.E.’s philosophy: “I can’t change your life, but I can change your night — hopefully in a good way.â€? Drink on. (editorial@citypaper.net) Felicia D’Ambrosio has had a long and infamous career behind bars, and still makes cameo appearances at Monk’s CafĂŠ.
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