The Artichoke
Volume 4.1, Issue 4.1
Payton Grizzly mascot will be retired BY ALEX LEFAUVE STAFF WRITER With the introduction of the new wing of the school, Payton administration has been thinking of ways to keep the rest of the school up to date too. One of those ways is to change Payton’s mascot. Payton’s current mascot is the Grizzly, but many feel like it really does not aptly reflect the true nature of the school. As Paul Hayes, a senior at Payton, said, “I’ve lived with the Grizzly my entire stay here at Payton. It’s been prevalent everywhere: in our sports, in our design, even in the way they address us all as Grizzlies every morning. It’s become commonplace, but it’s never really felt like it’s fit in.” This sentiment doesn’t just end with Paul. Karla Solis, another senior, said, “A grizzly is very barbarian. It’s wild. It’s brutish. It’s unrefined. I really don’t feel like these qualities are reflective of Payton as a whole.” The administration has acknowledged these concerns and are instituting our new mascot: The Walter Payton Pineapples. This may seem like an extreme jump in mascot, but it is not without careful consideration.
At one point, pineapples were one of the most rare and exotic luxury items that one could own. It was considered the fruit of kings through the Renaissance and was the height of fashion in the eighteenth century. It can be seen in Victorian architecture and in portraits of famous people through the ages too, some of which can be seen in Chicago’s own Art Institute. It matches perfectly with the storied history of Payton. It also has a modern benefit as well. Mr. Devine, when asked about the change, said, “One of the largest problems in modern America is the obesity epidemic. We’ve had many programs put into place to try to combat this, and I feel like this change in mascot could help further the change we are trying to make in healthy eating and daily well-being. It’ll help be a handy reminder that eating right goes hand-in-hand with being a good student. And besides, the pineapple is the sharpest of fruit, similar to how a Grizzly is the sharpest of students.” He then added, “The alliteration doesn’t hurt too.”
In the next issue...
Due to a miscalculation of credits, all seniors will take gym over the summer in order to graduate. Teachers are angry over insufficient access to caffeine on campus.
Though many monumental movements are happening in the U.S. currently, it is clear that this new change in Payton will lead to it being a symbol of progress in the future.
2016 Prom moved to the new gym BY JULIANA ITURRALDE STAFF WRITER
The CPS budget crisis is hitting Payton much harder than expected, according to principal Tim Devine. The budget, which was decreased by $174,000 in early February, wasn’t expected to be an issue for Payton because the FOP backed the school with a large sum of fundraised money. “Unfortunately,” Mr. Devine told the Paw Print, “without Mr. Karafiol as our mathematical advisor, we slightly miscalculated our budget by $34,000.” In order to compensate, the administration has proposed the idea to move the 2016 prom from the Drake hotel to Payton’s brand new gym. “We could save a lot of money by using the new gym,” Mr. Devine said. “It would cut out many unnecessary costs. For example, the Drake requires people who use their ballroom to purchase food, tables, waiters, etc., but with the gym, we can completely eliminate all these costs.”
PAYTON PROM 2016!
The administration assured the Paw Print that prom in the gym can be just as fun as the Drake with the right attitude. “We are still doing everything possible to make prom night fun. Payton is investing in colorful streamers and balloons to make the night vibrant and exciting,” said Devine.
Mr. Devine is even volunteering to DJ, saying that he could add to the night with a great mix of Bruce Springsteen songs. Ms. Mowery, the teacher in charge of organizing prom, refused to comment in fear of “saying something that [she] would regret.”
Math department changes grading scale
BY GRACE MCDERMOTT STAFF WRITER After much consideration, the WPCP math department has chosen to change their unique grading scale to match that of the rest of the departments by moving the scale up 5% for each letter grade. “We really thought that this was for the best,” said Math Department Chair Mr. Galson. “We discussed this for a long time, and we feel that students are not being challenged enough by the current grading scale. We need to treat Payton students as Payton students, and the old grading scale was not successful in doing that.” In the Payton math department, the shifted grading scale has always been a comfort for students, and has seemingly been an unchanging safety net to support students in several of
Payton’s more difficult classes. With an 85% as an A, and all following grades adjusted by 5% accordingly, many students have felt decreased stress and immense gratitude for this opportunity. “The 85% A in math has changed my grade in pretty much every single math class I’ve taken,” said Elise Wagner ‘17, currently enrolled in Pre-Calculus AB. “My GPA would be a lot lower without that boost from the teachers.” Unfortunately, Elise’s GPA is about to drop, along with those of many other Payton students. Students will not only be graded on this scale in the future, but past grades of current students will be retroactively adjusted according to the new grading scale.
“Not that I’m very much in favor of this change, but we’ve got a lot of push-back from the most competitive colleges and universities over the last three years. They are really cracking down on grade inflation and demanding that no more than 50% of our students get a C. And since our students have always asked us if we curve our tests, we figured that putting student grades on a normal curve with 65% at the center was appropriate,” said Math Department Chair Mr. Galson. “I’m completely devastated about this change,” said Hannah Sudworth ‘17. “I always thought I could rely on that scale, but I guess I’ve been wrong all along. I don’t know what’s going to happen now.”
N-Spire thieves exposed by SACC BY ALLISON CHO STAFF WRITER
It’s no secret that the N-Spire is one of the most valuable assets to any Payton student. It’s a necessity which has undoubtedly created a large demand for these calculators. This has led to many rumors of a secret black market and an underground calculator ring that works to supply the constant demand by doing whatever is necessary. Such allegations were deemed groundless and thus, untrue. However, this changed when a member of the said calculator ring voluntarily came forward to come clean about the whole ordeal. The source, whose identity is being kept secret for their own safety, claimed to have been recruited freshman year. “I was young and needed some extra cash. I didn’t think it would go this far,” they said. “But I just couldn’t take it any more. What is going down in the market, what students are doing, it’s not right.” According to the anonymous source, about seventy-five students play a major role in the calculator ring every day, which involves a long, tedious process. Stolen calculators are reset to delete any current documents and scrubbed clean of any identifying marks. Afterwards they’re repackaged and sold to students whose calculators have suddenly gone “missing.” What most people don’t know is that a group of student investigators
works to expose calculator offenders every other Thursday in the library: Students Against Calculator Crimes, also known as SACC. Founded in 2013, their mission focuses on preventing the “calculatornapping that terrorizes this school,” according to the paytonsacc.com. Maxine Soss, a current junior and one of the founders of SACC, expresses her gratitude for the calculator ring informant. “We’ve worked hard for this moment,” Soss professes, gesturing towards her team working busily in the background. She claims that their hard work will have paid off by the time this issue is over. “Calculators will no longer be napped, and students will no longer be sad, which is the most we dare hope for in this day and age.” Amanda Olphie, a junior who works closely with SACC, cannot contain her elation. “As a victim of the calculator ring, I love this new turn of events,” she said with a broad grin. In late 2014, fellow freshmen were alarmed at the disappearance of Olphie’s N-Spire, only the first of many such crimes that gave new Payton students a culture shock. “Everyone told me that this is what happens here, to just accept it. But this kind of behavior should never be tolerated, normal or not.” She turns to look at her second N-Spire, which she has guarded closely ever since.
“I’m happy with my new calculator, but
N E
L O T S
sometimes I wonder ‘What if?’ I think I speak for the student body when I say that we’ve all waited for the black market to fall apart.” The anonymous source also provided names of other notorious calculator offenders working in the ring, but administration has decided to take a merciful route in dealing with the criminals. “Anyone affiliated with the calculator black market should turn themselves in immediately to avoid any further charges made against them,” said Mr. Adamji. “This is a serious issue that has gone on for too long.”
The entire softball field will be a parking lot for faculty and staff who have multiple cars or would like to have an empty spot next to their cars for convenience.
PUZZLES
WORD SEARCH
Find the following: APRIL PAYTON SPRING FOOL GYM AWESOME PRINT GRIZZLY GRADUATION COFFEE ISSUE PAW PROM
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE PICTURES
Rearrange the letters in the following words to create a sentence below: foolhardy sappy pail __ __ __ __ __
__ __ __ __ __
__ __ __ __’__
__ __ __!