Paw Print December 2014
Feeling richer? Minimum wage raised By JULIA HUEBNER Staff Writer By the year 2019, minimum wage workers in Chicago will be earning $13 per hour, a steep jump from the current $8.25 per hour. The legislation, which the City Council passed almost unanimously, was spearheaded by Mayor Rahm Emanuel. Such action is politically savvy for Emanuel, who hopes to be re-elected to his mayoral position as two liberal challengers campaign for a larger hike of $15 per hour, according to ABC News. Emanuel said last Tuesday in a press conference that this raise for workers will be “reflective of the cost-of-living in Chicago.” Public opinion on the minimum wage is not in line with the 44-5 split at the City Council on Tuesday. Many believe that small businesses will leave Chicago and fewer workers will be hired. At the City Council meeting on Tuesday, Tom Tunney, owner of Ann Sather restaurants, warned that: “whatever the entry-level wage is, when there is no company, there is no job,” reports the Sun Times. This legislation is passed the same week as minimum wage strikes are staged in Chicago and across the country. The protesters are advocating for an increase of $6.75 per hour in the minimum wage, almost doubling it to $15 per hour. The strikes were directed at fast food giants, such as McDonalds, Burger King, and Wendy’s, and select airports. The Windy City is no trendsetter in regards to the minimum wage; the city follows in the wake of Seattle and San Francisco’s hike to $15 per hour. Louisville, Portland, and Maine are expected to vote on similar increases in the coming months. At least a handful of Payton students are sure to benefit from the raise, which will aid 410,000 workers, or a third of Chicagoans, according to ABC7 news. Jenny Matusova ‘16, who works a minimum wage job, notes that it is “ a hard thing to manage, especially if you have other time commitments.” Brandon Taylor ‘16, who made $8.25 last summer, commented that “it is helpful for families who are living check to check.” Chicago’s minimum wage will jump to $10 per hour by July 2015, and will rise incrementally until the 2019 culmination.
Volume 15, Issue 2
Waz wins with ‘As You Like It’ By GRACE HILDEBRAND Staff Writer Successfully pulling off a Shakespeare play is an ambitious undertaking for any high school theater program, yet with “As You Like It,” directed by Mr. Wasielewski, Payton Players has succeeded again. The play’s relatable and plot line featured themes that hit home with high school students. Two best friends, Rosalind and Celia, played by seniors Laila Francis and Shana Laski, run away from their kingdom into the Forest of Ardenne to escape Celia’s father’s unfair exile of Rosalind. Other relationships develop over the course of the play as characters adventure in the Forest of Ardenne. The immensity of lines the main characters have to memorize must be quite intimidating, but being able to understand and portray all the emotions and beats behind the words is perhaps even more challenging. All the actors had
impeccable enunciation and were able to communicate the meaning and feeling behind their lines. The performances of Donald, Shana, and Lila, however, stood out the most. Junior Donald Riddle hooked the audience with a powerful monologue at the beginning of the play, then executed his character’s transition from a selfish and cruel older brother to a caring fiancé extremely well. Shana’s comical exasperation at Rosalind’s love life kept the audience laughing, and Lila’s unrelenting hopeless love for Orlando was heartwarming. Most importantly, their characters’ strong chemistry as best friends captured the audience’s attention. Additionally, compliments must be given to the director. The blocking was innovative and helped add meaning to the confusing language of Shakespeare. The entrances and exits were flawless. All actors also seemed to really understand the
Payton Players wow the audience with their portrayal of Shakespeare’s “As You Like It.” Photo by Aja Lowrey ‘15 implications of their lines and the complexity of the play. However, the use of a modern song by Ingrid Michaelson at the end of the play, though clever, contrasted with the traditional costumes, and the setting of the play. The Payton Player’s production of “As You Like It” was the
perfect play for a high school production due to its relevant plot and strong lead performances. The use of Shakespearean language did not detract from the audience’s enjoyment of the play, as the actors understood and portrayed the meaning of their lines. Overall, it was a success for the Payton Players.
Breaking ground is breaking news By ALEX DALE Staff Writer
It is the biggest event to happen to Payton this year. The planned addition for Payton, announced last September by Mayor Rahm Emanuel in the school’s library, will add multiple classrooms and other spaces. The expansion is being paid for with $17 million from TIF funds. And ground has finally been broken. Principal Tim Devine was very excited about all of the new facilities that will be a part of the expansion, in an interview. Highlights include a new gym, with two basketball courts and an increased bleacher capacity, a weight-lifting room, a new black-box theater, a dance studio, and a student lounge. Another very important addition will be a new space constructed specifically for Payton’s students with special needs. Along with added space, Payton’s enrollment is expected to gradually expand by 300 to 400 students. This will create more op-
Payton’s new building will hold 300-400 more students. Photo illustration by Koo and Associates portunities for young Chicagoans to receive a world-class education, without watering down the quality of education offered at the school. Along with an increase in students, Mr. Devine expects to add around 30 more teachers over the first four years with the addition.
With construction having begun Thursday, December 4, Mr. Devine stressed that there will be “really no limitations” on students during the process. One major drawback of the expansion was the loss of the teachers’ parking lot.
Payton has now been able to attain enough spots on Hill Street, as well as the use of a lot on Orleans and Oak streets, to alleviate most concerns from staff about parking. Devine emphasized that construction could only begin once the teacher parking signs were put up. Construction for the project was actually planned to begin this past summer and scheduled to be completed in December 2015, according to the Chicago Building Commission. However, considering it is December of 2014 and work has just begun, many have been dubious of the timeline. Mr. Devine attempted to dispel any worry, stating that there was never a timeline set in stone and that he still hopes the expansion will be ready for the 2016 school year.
See more pictures at paytonpawprint.com.
SEE INSIDE
The former parking lot is the site of the expansion. Photo by Mowery
Interviews .... page 3 Concert Reviews..... page 4 Holiday Movies.... page 5 Movie Reviews..... page 6 Sports ..... page 7
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Paw Print
Walter Payton College Preparatory High School 1034 North Wells Street Chicago, IL 60610 phone: (773) 534-0034 fax: (773) 534-0035 www.wpcp.org Principal: Tim Devine Assistant Principals: David Adamji Michele Washington
EDITORS-IN-CHIEF Samantha Cousino Mike Mazurkiewicz
LAYOUT EDITOR Elizabeth Shirk
Assistants:
Grace Hildebrand Meredith Leon
PHOTO EDITORS Jacqueline Arroyo Camille Buckley
SECTION EDITORS
Art , Violeta Lialios-Bouwman Distribution and Exchange, Adan Soriano Entertainment, Olivia Piazza Media, Aaron Thomas Politics, Yanira Gonzalez Sports, Sophia Goethals Fashion, Brittany Lundberg
PAW PRINT STAFF Nathaniel Bahadursingh William Bernstein Jack Brosnan Angel Camuy Gabrielle Castillo Alexander Dale Joshua Gatewood Hana Goodman Paul Hayes Briana Hickman Julia Huebner Amela Kalezic Anne Kleinaitis Matthew Mata Morgan Mcfall-Johnsen Maria Montesdeoca Martha Muller Lara Nowak Nadiyah Pate Brenda Quach Antonio Ramirez William Silberg Peter Stafford Cecilia Valdez Myriah Weatherspoon Chloe Wilson
FACULTY ADVISOR Michelle Mowery
Protests at Payton misunderstood By YANIRA GONZALEZ Political Editor Harsh criticism has risen over the violent tactics carried out by a number of protesters in Ferguson, which include looting and setting fire to businesses in the community. After the death of Eric Garner, Walter Payton College Prep on December 9 hosted its own protest for justice for the countless lives lost. Despite the fact that the surrounding area consists largely of white residents, many cars driving by during the Payton protest beeped their horns to show their support. But not everyone stands in solidarity with the protests. Although many Payton students adorned themselves in all black to show their support for the cause, many more white students expressed hesitance towards actually attending the protest. They felt that they had no right to march with the other students because they were not black. What they did not understand was that we live in a democratic society where change is not possible without support from others. Amongst some of the other counter arguments have been statements that the riots accomplish nothing other than taint the cause. I disagree, and part of the reason why is on the basis of privilege. In the media exists a racial bias which stems from a privilege, specifically white privilege. This leads to the belief that anything a white person does is inherently good or better in nature than anything a person of color does, even if the actions are the same. It influences the way that our nation views and deals with issues. When news outlets report on the protests in Ferguson, they tend to only focus on the violent aspect. They do not report on the fact that those who are promoting violence
are only a handful of the protesters on the streets and that the rest are fighting for justice with peaceful tactics. Protestors from Ferguson and Payton alike have walked the streets, chanting slogans like “black lives matter” and “hands up, don’t shoot” while holding their hands above their heads as a way of making a passive statement. Some instances (such as: https://vine.co/v/M3KuKgFdd0g and http://40.media.tumblr.co m/2c62cf7d3a451169898180b 369cd70e8/tumblr_naj6bdHXC01tt7cvko1_400.jpg) are ignored because they don’t fit a racially biased agenda, which includes slandering the strifes of minorities and excusing those of white people, specifically pardoning riots largely composed of white attendees. These so called “white” riots have been incited over the World Series, surfing competitions, football games, and pumpkins, but are not slandered in the way that those of racial minorities are. This bias creates a huge problem because it promotes institutionalized racism and ignorance towards a serious issue. It is not the actions of the protesters that have defamed the cause, it is the bias of the media which dragged a legitimate issue through the mud. Others have made the argument that “you cannot fight violence with violence” as another counter argument to the cause. As a pacifist, I would normally agree and even add in “the pen is mightier than the sword.” The issue of protests and riots, however, is different. One thing that I have noticed in every protest from country to country is that the issues being protested have been around for years, but only gain national and even worldwide attention once the
PAW PRINT December 2014
Payton students protest the recent Ferguson and Garner decisions on Wells Street and the Old Town neighborhood on December 9. Photo by Janina Goncalves people start making noise. What so many who oppose the protests in Ferguson don’t understand is that the only way that oppressed people ever have their voices heard in the world is if they make a scene. Until recently, few people cared about all of the black and brown lives that were being lost to racial profiling in the United States until protestors across the country took to the streets. Many were clueless to the greediness that existed in the Ukrainian government until some were able to muster up the courage to say and do something about it. In Mexico, many turned a blind eye to the despicable actions of the cartel and corrupt government officials until brave protestors decided that they had had enough with the silence. Everyone thus far had tried to rob these people of their voices, to stifle them in hopes that they would eventually give up the desire to fight back. These protests have counteracted this push for silence by serving as a source of empowerment for the people and finally giving them back their voices. After all these
years, they are finally being heard. I have attended marches and protests for the deaths of the 43 students in Mexico, and Payton’s protest for the countless black and brown lives lost at the hands of police officers, and it has all taught me something valuable about the benefits of such gatherings. Through tragedy, people are able to reflect on bigger issues plaguing their communities and unite to solve a problem. People who have felt alienated and discriminated against all of their lives discover a sense of solidarity with others going through the same thing. In an age where people have become less social with one another and are more at ease with fighting social injustice from Facebook than in person, these protests signify revolution. Not only are they uniting people from coast to coast, but they are bringing about social change and integrity at the same time. From protests come harmony, understanding, solidarity, and a solution to society’s problems, and we will not cease voicing our frustrations until action has been taken.
Cosby, UVA, and rape culture By MEREDITH LEON Staff Writer After centuries of women being raped and assaulted, two highprofile alleged rape incidents, one involving Bill Cosby and one involving the University of Virginia, have shed light on the atrocity that has afflicted the female population. Bill Cosby became a living room hero and father figure to all Americans due to his lead roles in “I Spy” and “The Cosby Show,” helping improve the image of black males in America. But Barbara Bowman’s recent opinion piece in the Washington Post titled “Bill Cosby raped me. Why did it take 30 years for people to believe my story?” gave the issue a lot of attention and inspired over fifteen other victims of his alleged sexual abuse to share their stories of the celebrity allegedly drugging and then raping them. NBC and Netflix, among other companies, have cancelled projects with Cosby, and Cosby has refused to speak on the subject. A similar situation occurred at UVA, where a Rolling Stones article on November 19 documented
the story of Jackie, a UVA student who was allegedly raped three weeks into her freshman year at a fraternity party. When she arrived at the party, her date allegedly brought her to a room upstairs where seven boys took turns raping her as part of their initation into the fraternity. When it was over, Jackie and her friends decided not to go to the hospital in order to save her reputation, and when Jackie told the school counselor, they allegedly covered the story to prevent it from damaging the school’s prestige. The university shut down all Greek Life for two months in response to the outcry of sexual misconduct. On Friday, December 5 Rolling Stone posted a follow-up article taking back the claims they made on November 19. The magazine apologized for discrepancies in the original account, blaming “Jackie” for giving a false account. Rolling Stone fact-checked with the Phi Kappa Sci fraternity who claimed that no party existed on the night of the alleged rape. However, two days later Rolling Stone posted an
Senior Antonio Ramirez reads the controversial Rolling Stones article. Photo by Meredith Leon updated apology in which their managing editor Will Dana stated, “These mistakes are on Rolling Stone, not on Jackie.” The truth about the case is blurry and alludes to the stealthy nature of rape. Unfortunately, according to the FBI, fewer than 50% of rapes are reported. Whether women don’t come out due to fear of potential consequences from the man, fear that the public won’t believe them, or intimidation from celebrities and potential media campaigns, it’s clear that something must be done to change how institutions and people respond to rape. The Obama administration
launched the “It’s On Us” campaign to end sexual assault on campuses through education and discouraging the bystander effect. Obama has also started implementing investigations of 86 colleges that have been suspected of inadequately handling sexual violence accusations, and if they are caught in violation they will face a reduction in federal funding which would be detrimental to the universities, according to rollingstone.com. The Cosby allegations are still being investigated. Better late than never.
PAW PRINT December 2014
Meet one of Payton’s newest counselors: Ms. Greer By PAUL HAYES Staff Writer
Ms. Greer is new to Payton this year. She has come from Michigan and is now counseling advisories from the freshman, sophomore, and junior classes. Paw Print (PP): Where were you born? Ms. Greer (MG): “Ann Arbor, Michigan.” PP: What college did you attend? MG: “University of Michigan for undergrad and Eastern Michigan University for grad.” PP: Out of all the schools in Chicago, what made you want to come to Payton? MG: “Well because I relocated from Michigan, I didn’t have a big selection. I saw Payton’s job posting, researched the school, and saw that we were number one and highly regarded in the community. I thought, ‘It’s a great school to apply to’ and I got an interview.” PP: What schools were you a counselor at before coming to Payton? MG: “I was a counselor at a high school called Novi High School in Novi, Michigan where I did my internship.” PP: What kind of things do you like to do when you aren’t working? MG: “I’m a big t.v. fan. Television is my life after school. I love ‘Homeland’ and the ‘Blacklist.’ I’m really into crime shows. I also have a few friends in the city that I spend my weekends with.” PP: What was your favorite subject in school? MG: “Probably English. My mom was a high school English teacher, and so one would think that I would hate that subject because I heard it all the time at home, but I really enjoyed reading and writing argumentative essays.” PP: Would you ever go skydiving? MG: “Yes, if I was with a trusted friend. I wouldn’t go by myself.” PP: If you could be any animal,
what animal would you be? MG: “Probably a poodle. I love poodles. I’ve always grown up with them. In my household we had dogs and poodles were my favorite, and [because] I have curly hair.” PP: What is your favorite time of year and why? MG: “I really like Christmas. I like the snow. I like Christmas music, but I also like March because my birthday is in March, so spring and late winter.” PP: Do you have a favorite sports team? MG: “Not really. I’m from the Detroit area, so the Pistons, and the Lions, and the Red Wings are who I grew up with, but I won’t say I have a favorite.” PP: If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? MG: “I have a best friend from high school in Guatemala, and I always wanted to go there because that is where he is from, and then he moved back to Guatemala City after graduation. If not there then I would probably want to go to Paris with my mom.” PP: If you had one superpower, what would it be? MG: “Probably flying somewhere. I am not used to having to walk everywhere in the city. I definitely miss my car, so if I could just fly to Panera instead of walking there that would be great. No waiting for the bus and no waiting for the L.” PP: What is the best prank you have ever pulled? MG: “I’m not a prankster so it was probably an April Fools type thing. I think instead of pulling pranks I like to surprise people. Like the surprise I was thinking about doing for my mom. I was going to adopt a puppy from down the street at Paws Chicago, and then I was going to drive home with the puppy and surprise her instead of taking the train. I am way more into surprises than pranks.” PP: What is your perfect day?
Payton’s resident dancer: Ms. Foshay By NADIYAH PATE Staff Writer
After teaching at over a dozen schools, Ms. Foshay settles in as Payton’s brand new dance teacher. Dance your way into Ms. Foshay’s life below.
Ms. Greer is one of the newest additions to the Payton staff. Photo by Paul Hayes
MG: “My perfect day is probably early fall when the trees are starting to turn, and the temperature is in the mid sixties, so light jacket, but it’s still sunny and a blue sky.” PP: If you could meet anyone from the past, who would it be? MG: “I’m going to get a little emotional, my dad passed away when I was a baby, so I never met him, so he is my go to for that question.” PP: If the world was to end tomorrow, what would you do today? MG: “I would probably try to contact all my friends who live in different states and cities, and spend the whole day with my mom. We are really close, and I left her back in Ann Arbor, so I would probably spend a lot of time with her.” PP: If you wrote an autobiography, what would you call it? MG: “Can we ask Mr. Bowles? Mr. Bowles, if I were to write an autobiography, what do you think I would entitle it?” Mr. Bowles: “‘A View From the Top.’ Because you’re so tall.” MG: “I like that!”
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PawPrint: How long have you been a dancer? Ms. Foshay: "I've been dancing since I was about five on and off. I got serious about dance though when I was about fourteen or fifteen." PP: When did you start teaching dance? EP: "The week after I graduated from college. I was 22 years old."
things. I love the uniqueness of this school. The intellectual capacity and focus of the students is so unbelievable here. It gives me an opportunity to challenge the students and for them to challenge themselves. I really like the block schedule because it gives me a chance to actually teach a full class. I also really like that seminars exist here." PP: Do you have any hobbies? EP: "Sleeping. I have a baby that takes up all of my time. I do a lot of yoga. I like to make time for friends and family. I like to go to the farmer's market when I can."
Ms. Foshay brings dance to Payton with excitement. Photo by Nadiyah Pate PP: What college did you go to? EP: “I did undergrad at Columbia College Chicago. And I finished grad school at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro." PP: Have you ever taught at a CPS school before? EP: "Yes, lots of them. I worked as a teaching artist for about 10 years. As a teaching artist you go into public schools, and you teach sometimes during the school day and sometimes for after school programs. I've taught at over a dozen schools over the years.” PP: What's your favorite part about being a teacher at Payton so far? EP: "Oh gosh, there's lots of
PP: Do you have any pets? EP: "Yes! I have two cats. Miles and Basie. Named after Count Basie and Miles Davis." PP: What's your favorite color? EP: "I'll go with green." PP: What’s your favorite movie? EP: "I’d definitely have to go with ‘Labyrinth’." PP: What are you most looking forward to as a new teacher at Payton? EP: "Having the same group of students for an entire year. I don't think that has happened to me like ever. It's awesome. Watching people grow throughout the year is going to be really neat."
Payton welcomes new Spanish teacher Ms. Quintero By OLIVIA PIAZZA Entertainment Editor
Ms. Quintero excitedly turns to and from the board to address questions from her attentive students. Photo by Olivia Piazza PawPrint: How do you like being at Payton so far? Ms. Quintero: “It has been a lovely experience. The staff and students are really supportive. I could not have asked for a better
place to work!” PP: Who are your heroes and why? AQ: “Abraham Lincoln is one of many heroes. He was a man of substance and grace, able to per-
suade the hardest hearts yet with the softest words. He also encompasses for me the idea that great leaders are not born but are made (in the sense that through his own life’s trials and circumstances he developed a growth mindset and a fighting spirit).” PP: What is the best piece of advice that you can give students? AQ: “Bill Gates’ 11 rules of lifethis could apply to adults as well!” PP: What are some of your pet peeves concerning teaching? AQ: “My pet peeve in general is when a person thinks that their ‘lack of planning’ should constitute an emergency for you! In teaching this occurs when students are well aware of a deadline and instead of using the ‘long-term’ planning model, they wait for the very last minute and then bom-
bard you with desperate-sounding emails. Well, that happened quite often at my middle school. I am sure that high school students at Payton are long-term planners!” PP: What are three things that you want everyone to know about you? AQ: “I love learning words in other languages (I can say “how are you doing” in Ukrainian), I am very competitive playing soccer (intermediate level, but I’m not afraid to steal the ball from the opposing team), and I am an extrovert.” PP: What is one of the smartest things you’ve ever heard? AQ: “Align your weaknesses so that your strengths are irrelevantPeter Drucker. This quote has been my ‘fuerza motriz’ of failing forward.” PP: What is the best thing about
teaching? AQ: “I get to share the love of learning with students. I feel that it is an investment in the future of our city (and world for that matter).” PP: What are some anecdotes about your background that you think are central to who you are? AQ: “On our summer vacations to the South, my dad would give each of us $100 to last the whole trip. I would spend half of my money at stores well before we reached our destination. However, my little brother would buy watermelons and then sell them in our grandparent’s cafe (restaurant). He always doubled his vacation money by the time we left. His example still inspires me to look for ways to ‘double’ my talents in life.”
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Band Concert: ‘The Most Wonderful Time of the Year’ By BRITTANY LUNDBERG Fashion Editor
The place: Payton. The time: 7 o’clock. It’s the afternoon of Friday, December 5, and the familiar sound of scales ring through Payton’s halls. Students rush around in their snazzy black-and-white garb, eager to perform what they’ve been preparing for their entire first semester. This is Payton’s Winter Band Concert. The evening kicked off with Chamber Strings. They began with a traditional “African Bell Carol,” then followed with Tchaikovsky’s “Faeries” and “Faith Noel.” After “I Wonder as I Wander” and “Boreas,” the band finished up with “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” From there, the program transitioned smoothly into the Jazz Orchestra’s performances. Jazz Band played some familiar holiday classics with special appearances from vocalists Anthony Charletta ’15, Shana Laski ’15, Caroline Rooney ’15, and Alessandra Bernardini ’15. They began with “Jingle Bells,” and later played “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” and “The First Noel.” Wrapping up with the always fun and cheerful “Big Band Holiday,” the band began to set up the stage for Concert Band. After a brief intermission, Concert Band was up. They started
PAW PRINT December 2014
Top ten things to do over winter break By NADIYAH PATE and MATTHEW MATA Staff Writers
Mr. Rode and Chris Phifer ’15 congratulate each other on a job well done. Photo courtesy of Noah Gilbert their program with “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” and then moved through crowd favorites “Up On a Housetop” and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” The night ended with Lough-
lin’s “Holiday Ornaments,” leaving the Payton community with yet another wonderful holiday band concert to remember.
1. Winter WonderFest Winter WonderFest is Chicago’s premiere attraction for families during the holidays. At a low admission cost you can enjoy everything from ice skating and a ropes course to cookie decorating and admiring the over 100 foot Christmas tree. 2. Ice Skating in Millennium Park Love ice skating in public? Make sure you grab some friends and go ice skating downtown at Millennium Park once or twice over break. 3. Macy’s Window Displays Most people usually go to Macy’s for shopping, but their holiday windows have been a tradition in Chicago for years. Each year Macy’s sets up elaborate window displays that tell stories and easily catch the eye during the holidays. 4. Christkindlmarket (Daley Plaza until Dec 24) The city tree is located at Daley Plaza downtown until December 24, and is something to look forward to seeing every year. The tree and its decorations make for great photos this holiday season. 5. Christmas Around the World (Museum of Science and Industry) Ever wonder how other cultures celebrate Christmas? The Museum of Science and Industry gives you the chance by hosting a Christmas Around the World ex-
hibit. Find out how different trees are decorated and how celebrations are diversified at this special holiday exhibit. 6. CTA Holiday Train Ride the CTA’s holiday train and newly added bus over break. Set up specifically for the holiday season, this special train and bus are a great experience. Look up their schedules on the CTA’s website. 7. Sledding by Soldier Field If you love to sled, the hill right by Soldier Field is the place to be this winter break. 8. Make Holiday Treats Love baking? The holidays are the perfect time to make those Christmas cookies, gingerbread houses, and assortment of pies. 9. Watch Classic Holiday Movies Don’t forget to make time for those classic holiday movies over break. “Charlie Brown,” “Home Alone,” “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” and ABC Family’s series “25 Days of Christmas” are great holiday classics to cuddle up with a warm blanket and watch with a cup of hot chocolate. 10. Watch New Year’s Fireworks Whether it’s downtown at Navy Pier or through your t.v. screen, celebrate the New Year by watching the city’s countdown and fireworks at midnight.
Choir Class Debut: A spread of holiday cheer By SAMANTHA COUSINO Editor-In-Chief
Payton’s Beginning Choir classes had their debut performance Tuesday, December 9. The concert began with numbers by Pieces of Perfection (P.O.P.). The crowd went wild after a solo performance by freshman Mia Bahr of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” After P.O.P finished their set, the three beginning choir periods performed, each singing three songs.
Every class had a sing-a-long song, allowing the audience to join the performance. Payton’s very own Sounds of Sweetness, better known as S.O.S., concluded the night. For their first song, “Linstead Market,” they were joined by an eighth grade choir from Salazar, the grade school across the street from Payton. Over the past semester, some members of Payton’s concert choir
helped teach choir at Salazar after seminars. Their efforts shined in the song - the eighth graders sang with joy and beauty. The last song of the night was “Ocho Kandalikas,” sung by the beginning choirs and the Salazar eighth graders. “ It was so cool to share my love of music with another school,” said Kopano Muhammad ‘17. P.O.P starts off the night singing “Winter Song” by Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles. Photo by Samantha Cousino
Period 1 Beginning Choir sings “Three Holiday Glorias” with a violin performance by Matt Sheppard ‘17. Photo by Samantha Cousino
The Salazar choir sings along with Payton’s concert choir. Photo by Samantha Cousino
S.O.S. concludes the night with a diverse holiday set. Photo by Samantha Cousino
PAW PRINT December 2014
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Budget holiday shopping ideas Long hair, don’t care By MORGAN McFALL-JOHNSEN Staff Writer
By LARA NOWAK Staff Writer
On a shopping budget this holiday season? With the holidays rapidly approaching, it’s time to start thinking about fun ideas for gifts for friends and family. Here are some easy and inexpensive ideas for your holiday shopping: Get them a good pair of socks. To battle the freezing winter weather, there’s nothing more crucial than a pair of warm, comfy socks. Urban Outfitters offers quality-made socks for both men and women, mostly between $1015 per pair. Try knee-high socks as a trendy and affordable gift for girls—they are perfect for the winter weather and are a stylish must-have this season. The great thing about socks is their variety; experiment with different colors and patterns. If the person you are shopping for is more adventurous, take a risk with bolder patterns and brighter colors. If they prefer something more plain, stick to the basics—you can’t go wrong with a plain pair of cozy knit socks. Make a fun photo collage or album. For closer friends, a photo collection can be a fun idea for a DIY gift. Collect pictures from memorable moments throughout the years: family vacations, important events, or funny moments. Use a photo album to gather all of your fond memories in a way that is both timeless and creative.
This year, spread the holiday cheer by finding the perfect gift for friends and family. Photo courtesy of christmasstockimages.com
Make your hair grow four inches in three months. Photo by Brittany Lundberg
Get them an ugly holiday sweater. For someone with a sense of humor, there is no gift more suitable than an ugly holiday sweater. They come in all styles and sizes and are the most festive way to celebrate the holiday season. For inspiration, check out My Ugly Christmas Sweater online for some cheap and funny options. Another alternative is to look in stores around the city, as many stores carry holiday sweaters throughout the winter. Shops like Ragstock offer a fun and affordable selection. Give them a few good reads. The holiday break is a great time to curl up on the couch with a good book and a cup of hot cocoa. Pay a visit to your local book-
In the past three months, my hair has grown at least four inches. It’s a noticeable change and people comment on it all the time. For someone who took four years to grow it anywhere past her shoulders, this is a big deal. It’s gone through such rapid growth so suddenly without breakage, dryness, or split ends because I’ve allowed it to function the way it’s made to. After spending a month in a national forest with seven other teenagers, only washing our hair four times while we were there, I noticed that mine was softer, longer, and stronger than it had ever been. Although they don’t smell great, the natural oils released by your scalp contain the exact nutrients required for your hair’s health. You needn’t maintain anything or go out of your way to take care of it. That was my awakening to the idea that our hair, and the human body, knows how to take care of itself. We didn’t evolve to need drugstore beauty, skin, or haircare products. We’re not designed to wash our hair every day. We’re designed to be self-sufficient. Of course, it’s not socially acceptable to not wash your hair and, I would feel disgusting if I didn’t, so I’ve turned to treating it in as close to naturally as possible. It’s paid off; I haven’t needed to it for months, and I don’t think I will again for quite awhile. The only sacrifice has been the miniscule amount of time it takes to mix ingredients and the loss of the appealing smells of commercial shampoos. I can no longer flip my hair and send a wave of flowers or coconuts washing over the people sitting next to me. I think the powerful, synthetic scents are a fair trade-off for saving a ton of money and having long, healthy hair. The ingredients for my shampoo cost about $30 and make about five months’ worth, with a lot of oil left over. After two bottles of Dr. Bronner’s and ten months, you’ve spent about $40 total on shampoo. And you don’t have to do anything else to your hair. On the other hand, if you use Aussie shampoo, for example, ten months costs about $50. Then you have to use conditioner, which is another $50. Then you might use some frizz-deferring product or hairspray or smoothing agent, which is even more money. If you leave your hair alone, it does a lot of that stuff by itself.
store or try shopping online for a few books for a friend or family member. If you visit a bookstore, the staff can oftentimes offer helpful suggestions based on the taste of the person you are shopping for. Try wrapping the books you choose in a festive ribbon, and including a few tasty snacks for them to enjoy as they read. Everyone deserves the present that will help them get the most out of their break, whether that means staying warm in the freezing winter weather, or keeping cozy inside with a good book to read. Spread the holiday cheer; give your friends and family the gift that will make their celebration special this year.
10 best holiday movies of all time By ANNE KLEINAITIS Staff Writer
10. “Home Alone” If you’re a 90s kid, chances are you’ve seen “Home Alone.” Macaulay Culkin stars in this classic film about a boy who was left behind while his family went on vacation. This classic is set in Chicago, which is all the more reason to add it to your Holiday movie list. 9. “Frosty the Snowman” As the first animated movie, “Frosty the Snowman” was a hit in 1969 and remains a hit today. Fun fact: the movie actually came after the song. The song was first released in 1950, and peaked at number seven on the US Pop Singles chart. 8. “Nightmare Before Christmas” Jack Skellington lives in Halloween Town, full of monsters, ghosts, goblins, and witches. However, Jack wants to live in Christmas Town, which leads him to steal the position of Santa Claus. The surprisingly lovable Jack Skellington makes this Tim Burton film a favorite for both Halloween and Christmas. 7. “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” This stop-motion t.v. special originally aired in 1964. Rudolph, the outcasted reindeer with a glowing red nose, wins the hearts of the audience during his adventure with an elf named Hermey. Ultimately, his nose proves useful to save his friends and save Christmas. 6. “Love Actually” This movie follows the love
“It’s A Wonderful Life” is a 1946 film produced and directed by Frank Capra. Photo courtesy of en.wikipedia.org 3. “A Charlie Brown Christlives of many people in London, with each relationship connected mas” This t.v. short tackles the mato another in some way. On Christmas, some characters fall in love, terialism associated with Christwhile others experience heart- mas and reminds the audience of break. A great Christmas rom-com. the true meaning of the holiday. A “Charlie Brown Christmas Tree” 5. “It’s a Wonderful Life” George Bailey contemplates is now a standard term given to suicide, as he feels others would forlorn Christmas trees. 2. “The Grinch” be better off without him. HowOriginally aired in 1966, “Dr. ever, an angel shows George how terrible the town would be if he Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole wasn’t there. George realizes that Christmas” remains a family falife is truly wonderful, and the vorite. The song, “You’re a Mean heartwarming ending makes this One, Mr. Grinch” is still played on movie a must for any Christmas the Christmas radio station today. 1. “A Christmas Story” movie marathon. This classic is the number one 4. “Elf” Starring Will Ferrell, “Elf” tells Christmas movie because even afthe story of a human raised at the ter 30 years, it is still hilarious and North Pole. Buddy the Elf strug- beloved by people of all ages. Adgles to find a place in both human ditionally, TBS runs it for 24 hours and elf society, but ultimately re- straight beginning on Christmas alizes that his unique talents save Eve. “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!” Christmas.
Castile soap is a natural soap made from oils (rather than animal fats) and sodium hydroxide (potassium hydroxide for liquid soap), which is an alkali used to react with the oils and produce soap. All of the sodium or potassium hydroxide is used up in the reaction and none remains in the final product. Dr. Bronner’s is a known brand of castile soap. Their lavender soap smells the best and carries all the benefits of lavender oil, which has turned out to be a miracle fix-all. It has astringent and antiseptic qualities, which make it good for acne-related redness or swelling, as does tea tree oil. Other magical all-around solutions include baking soda, apple cider vinegar, and cornstarch. Just check your labels: if it’s not one of the first three ingredients, it’s not a major component of the product, so be careful of so-called moroccan oil hair conditioners or lotions “infused” with shea butter. And I needn’t remind you how much we don’t know about many of the chemicals beauty and cosmetic companies put into their products: parabens, formaldehyde, fragrance, and triclosan. There’s also the issue of animal testing and toxic environmental pollution. You pay extra money to damage the natural vitality of your skin and hair, spend extra time on maintenance, and endorse unethical companies that contribute to the decline of the natural world. Mix your own shampoo with watered-down Dr. Bronner’s (because applying straight castile soap to your hair will dry it out), essential oils, and jojoba oil. There are hundreds of other ways to do it with many different choices of ingredients - just Google it and see. If you choose to make such a change, there are a few minute differences you have to get used to, if only because you’re accustomed to the consistency of commercial shampoo or the specific texture of your wet hair immediately after you wash it. These are small adjustments in mentality, and they’re absolutely worth it. Here’s a recipe to start you off: ¼ cup castile soap (Dr. Bronner’s is great.) ½ cup water ¼ tsp jojoba oil or olive oil 20-40 drops of essential oil Pour water into a bowl and carefully mix in all the other ingredients. It’s that simple.
PAW PRINT December 2014
6 l Reviews
‘John Wick’: more than an action movie By AARON THOMAS Media Editor
Keanu Reeves stars in one of the best movies of the year. Photo courtesy of commons. wikimedia.org Rated 8/10 stars by IMDb, I went into “John Wick,” the 2014 action thriller directed by Chad Stahelski with high expectations and even with those expectations, John Wick was not a letdown. Essentially, the movie is about an ex-hitman who must come out of retirement and seek revenge on those who have recently ruined his life. Within 30 minutes of the mov-
ie, the main character (John Wick, if you haven’t realized this yet) loses his wife, his car, and the saddest, his beagle. In those initial minutes of the film, Keanu Reeves does an amazing job in portraying a person who has lost everything. Not only did those scenes really appeal to my emotions, they also built up the story and gave purpose to the rest of the film. John Wick immediately begins his quest for revenge. Unlike most action films, he has amazing aim and rarely misses a shot. Also, almost all of his kills are done with headshots, no matter the distance. For this reason, the movie is really awesome, but it also seems somewhat cartoony. Regardless, the action scenes are shot so well, that it doesn’t really matter. Reeves isn’t the only star of the film though. “Game of Thrones”’ Alfie Allen stars as the secondary antagonist, and Michael Nyqvist from “Mission Impossible” stars as his father. The remainder of the cast was filled in excellently as well, many of them having previous experience in action films which gave the movie a nostalgic, throwback feel. While largely a solid movie, John Wick did fall short with the ending. The action scenes seemed subpar compared to the rest of the movie and the ending seemed forced and sloppy. Despite this, John Wick was still an awesome action film (and really, much more than that) and is definitely one of the best movies of the year. Score: 4.5/5 Stars
What to watch: ‘How to Get Away with Murder’ edition By AMELA KALEZIC Staff Writer
ABC premiered a new show to complete its three hour TGIThursday marathon that previously included “Scandal” and “Grey’s Anatomy.” Those are both great shows, but unless someone feels like watching over a hundred hours of TV then it would be pretty hard to catch up. That’s where “How to Get Away with Murder” comes in. “How to Get Away with Murder” boasts a racially diverse cast, LGBT representation, morally ambiguous and amazingly written main characters, and a plot that is, pardon the pun, to die for. Viola Davis plays Annalise Keating, a defense attorney and professor of criminal law at Middleton University. From the first introduction of Annalise, the viewer realizes that she is not someone to be toyed with. As powerful a force in the classroom as the courtroom, Annalise Keating is unashamedly ambitious, winning court cases for the criminals she represents with barely any evidence to support their innocence. The first glimpse we see of the main characters is of them arguing in a forest over a murder they committed with a trophy. Later they are introduced as law students in a Criminal Law
Viola Davis, who plays Annalise Keating, is an award winning actress for many movies, including the movie the “The Help.” Photo by Athena LeTrelle on flickr.com 101 class, or “How to Get Away with Murder,” as their professor, Dr. Keating, prefers to call it. Annalise Keating usually chooses four students from her class to intern with her law firm (Connor Walsh, Laurel Castillo, Michaela Pratt, and Asher Millstone), but this tradition is almost immediately broken when she adds a fifth student to her list, Wes Gibbins, giving the characters a proper introduction.
The show has just gone on hiatus until January 29, but not to worry. There are only nine episode so far this season, and they will be showing reruns of the season every Thursday at 9:00 p.m. until it returns in the winter. With plot twists that will keep you guessing days after watching an episode, “How to Get Away with Murder” is the perfect way to avoid boredom or work.
Good eats near Payton Movie review: ‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part I’ By NATHANIEL BAHADURSINGH and ADAN SORIANO Staff Writers Big Bowl: If you are seeking a change for your after school meal, you should definitely check out Big Bowl. It is located at 60 E. Ohio St, which is approximately a five minute walk from Payton. Big Bowl specializes in authentic Thai and Chinese cuisine. The restaurant’s atmosphere is a blend of modern and traditional Asian decor. They have a large menu with many different options including: soups and salads, a wide variety of rice and noodle bowls, pot stickers, dumplings, and many other traditional Asian dishes. My personal favorite is the Kung Pao Chicken Rice Bowl cooked with all-natural chicken, wrinkled green beans, blackened chilies, roasted peanuts, and topped with a sweet spicy sauce. It comes in a huge portion for only $9.95. Their dishes will definitely keep you full for a long period of time. There is also a gluten-free menu and if you are on the run, you can choose their carry-out option. Though Big Bowl is a sit-down restaurant, their food is definitely worth the wait. La Fournette: La Fournette is a small, family run, french cafe, just steps away from North Ave. and Wells St. and is a hidden gem. With the dreadful Chicago win-
ter weather coming, there’s nothing more satisfying than some Intelligentsia coffee or espresso with a freshly baked croissant in the morning or a bowl of mixed vegetable soup with a turkey panini for lunch. Our fellow Paytonite, Antonio Ramirez, was a member of the La Fournette staff and spoke very highly of the quality of their pastries and sweet treats, claiming they provide a “sweet American twist to countless French classics.” Serving “sweet savory crêpes made from dark buckwheat flour with your choice of filling” along with their macaroons, “the addictive Parisian delicacy of almond meringue cookies filled with ganache, nut paste or fruit fillings” as well as many more French classics, La Fournette is a cafe to consider warming up in during these piercing cold winter afternoons in the months ahead.
By JOSHUA GATEWOOD Staff Writer
The latest Hunger Games movie abandons the treacherous, survival themed setting of the first two in favor of an all out war for control of the Capitol and Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) is forced firmly into the middle of it. Due to its setting, the movie is inevitably lower on tension than the previous two movies, and focuses more on Katniss growing into her role as the leader of the rebellion. It’s not necessarily a bad change. If anything, it makes the movie stand out from the other two. All the actors’ performances are on point. Jennifer Lawrence once again nails her role as Katniss, and the supporting cast can hold their own as well, with Liam Hemsworth’s Gale given a much larger role compared to the previous in-
Jennifer Lawrence stars in the latest Hunger Games movie. Photo courtesy of flickr.com stallments. In contrast, Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) isn’t seen nearly as often as we’re used to, but there are a lot of thrilling twists involving this character that are sure to please fans of his. “Mockingjay: Part I” is a thrill-
ing penultimate chapter to the Hunger Games franchise that is only let down slightly by its lack of a conclusion. It’s inevitable considering it’s only one half of a whole story, but it’s still bothersome.
Have an idea for a radio show? WPNN will begin airing in January.
Photo courtesy of flickr.com
See Ms. Mowery in the DL Lab for details about joining.
PAW PRINT December 2014
Cross Country’s race to the finish By ELIZABETH SHIRK Staff Writer
Payton’s cross country teams celebrate the season with a team dinner. Photos courtesy of Monica Carmody After Payton’s male and female cross country teams placed fourth at the 2014 Cross Country Sectionals meet two weeks ago, both teams qualified to compete in the Illinois High School Association (IHSA) States meet, which was to be held in Peoria on November 8. Payton’s boys cross country placed 23 with 593 points while Payton’s girls placed 24 with 629 points. Claire Goldman ‘17, led the girls with a time of 19:8 while Wesley Chan ‘15, led the boys with a time of 16:05. Overall, athletes on both teams came in with strong times, and many athletes made personal and
seasonal records for the final meet of the season.
Want to view more results on Payton cross country athletes? Visit athletic.net for your friends’ latest track and cross country times and the 2014 Illinois High School Associations States Results at www. ihsa.org.
Why Derrick Rose has earned the right to say whatever he darn well pleases By SOPHIA GOETHALS Staff Writer
Remember the dark days of Chicago Bulls basketball? That rough decade that stretched from Michael Jordan’s departure in 1998 through the tumultuous 2000s when wins were hard to come by and playoff hopes died as regularly as plants in a Chicago winter? Then, finally, in 2008, along came Derrick. In his first season he brought Chicago a Rookie of the Year award and a playoff birth that led to a near upset of the defending champion Boston Celtics. Rose almost single-handedly brought success back to Chicago basketball and revitalized a city’s belief in their athletes. Over the past two years, though, Rose has suffered a torn ACL, MCL, two sprained ankles, and a myriad of other pesky injuries. Despite his efforts to come back, he has been unable to play for the past couple of seasons. Back this year, Rose has played eleven of the team’s nineteen games, mostly due to his sprained ankles and a recent hamstring injury, averaging 16 points per game. Recently, Rose has been ridiculed for making comments about sitting out on occasion in order to save his body from further damage. At a Bulls practice he told WGN News, “when I sit out, it’s
not because of this year. I’m thinking about long term…” but has received severe backlash for these statements, prompting Charles Barkley to say about Rose and his statements: “Derrick Rose is a great player, is a great kid, loves his mom. That was stupid.” Sorry, Charles, but I respectfully disagree. In a culture where professional athletes retire in their mid- to late- thirties, must live the next forty or so years of their life unable to get on the ground to play with their children, are subjected to constant and piercing headaches from repeated untreated blows to the head, and unable to walk without pain and stiffness, Derrick is completely right. He should be thinking about the rest of his life, which, I may add, will most likely amount to more years than he would’ve played basketball for. Not to mention the fact that Derrick’s supreme basketball prowess has granted him the right to take a few games off here and there in order to allow him to play more in the future and maybe win our city a championship. Perhaps if we had more athletes as mindful as Derrick they would be able to play longer and play long enough to make their injuries worth it.
Sports l 7
Boy’s Basketball season preview By PETER STAFFORD Staff Writer
As the weather begins to take a turn for the worse, a new season of Payton Basketball dawns on the horizon. As there is with any beginning of a season, there are many questions. With the graduation of six seniors and only four seniors on the roster this year,it will be a relatively young team. But this will be a season of opportunity. With one returning starter Zac Vietch ‘16, a lot of new faces are
going to receive feature roles. The basketball team has enjoyed success in recent seasons, going 18-10 last year, and there is a lot of hope for this season. Jack Thompson said, “Our team is looking fabulous, and I’m setting the bar high for us this year. City Champs or bust.” With many home games after school during the week, everyone should come and witness what’s about to be an exciting season. Photo courtesy of flickr.com
Girls take the lead and never lose it By HANA GOODMAN Staff Writer
The Girls basketball team won their first home game against Shurz’s High School 52-31. Most of the first two quarters the girls were neck-to-neck with Shurz’s, then at the very end point guard Sophie Goethals ‘15 made a buzzer shot taking the girls from 25-23 to 27-23. After the half, the girls started playing a completely different game. They began making free throws, better passes and catching rebounds. The players seemed to feel
shifted in the game too, in an interview with two sophomore varsity players, Madeleine Beirne ’17 and Natalia Brzezinsk ‘17 saidwhy there was such a big change between the first and second half: “I think the shot and also the peptalk in the locker room just realizing that we had to get back in the game.” And that they did taking the lead for the rest of the game. Since their first home game the Girls basketball team has not lost, showing that having players with
such a strong drive will lead to a good season for the girls basketball team.
Photo courtesy of Sophie Goethals.
The end of an era at Michigan By ALEX DALE Staff Writer
We have reached the end of an era in Ann Arbor. Coming off a horrid season, seeing Michigan fail to qualify for a bowl game (for just the third time since 1975), it is finally the end of a tragic life of the 2014 Michigan football team. The season started ugly in South Bend (let’s ignore the Appalachian State game), and skidded through mediocrity, frustration and incompetence. In Columbus, the season ended in a manner just as ugly as it started, but now at least it is over. It was also the end for coach Brady Hoke, whose maddening ineptitude had been magnified this season. Hoke was fired December 2nd, as interim athletic director Jim Hackett pulled the cord on a coaching regime which saw its win total drop from 11 in 2011, to eight the next year, just seven wins last year and five this season. While fans may have loathed the Rich Rodriguez years, his teams did at least have an upward trajectory, improving their record each year. On top of the losing on the field, Michigan’s unwillingness to fire Hoke midseason led to multiple top recruits fleeing the sinking ship that Michigan is. Most recently, within minutes of Maryland scoring their go-ahead touchdown in November 22’s loss, fourstar running back commit Mike Weber announced his decommitment, adding insult to injury for the Wolverines. This 2015 commit diaspora has left Michigan with a
QB Devin Gardner and WR Devin Funchess take the field for Michigan against Northwestern at Ryan Field. Photo by Alex Dale class of just seven players, only five with four-stars on Rivals. Now that Hoke is gone, Hackett will need to swiftly find a replacement who can put a jolt into this program. Payton’s large Michigan fanbase felt the adversity this season, with senior Gabrielle Xilas stating, “all of the issues with Hoke and the athletic director getting fired really didn’t help but the players put up a fight in the last game against Ohio State.” It is also the end for Devin Gardner, who has played his final game in the maize and blue. Gardner, who, like Hoke, came in with plenty of noise as a five-star in-state recruit, has seen his favorability plummet. After temporarily switching to wide-receiver when Denard Robinson held the quarterback reins, he took over the starting job at the end of 2012. Gardner had plenty of raw talent, but instead of improv-
ing with two years as starter, he regressed. His decision-making and accuracy have held Gardner back, leading to some disastrous showings, while his big-play ability has seemed to disintegrate with time. Michigan’s loss to Ohio State this past week was a microcosm of Gardner’s career; he made some big plays, but those were cancelled out by some awful decisions. Gardner is by all accounts a great guy, so it really is a shame he couldn’t have a better end to his career at Michigan. A player who stuck around for two different adversity-filled coaching regimes, played through injury and never showed any quit or defeatism deserved more. But those are the breaks. With yet another failed chapter of Michigan football closed; the question now is what the next one will entail.
PAW PRINT December 2014
8 l Fun
SUDOKU
Crossword
By NAOMI LAZAR
By JOE LOTHAN
FENDER BENDER By JACK BROSNAN and ANGEL CAMUY Staff Writer
A Modest Proposal in 500 words By WILL BERNSTEIN Send your questions to the new Paw Print advice team by commenting on their online article at paytonpawprint.com. Photo by Paw Print Staff Q: “How do I stay off the holiday winter coat. weight?” Q: “What colors should I wear and A: It’s okay to pig out during the not wear?” holidays. Just remember, you are A: Real men wear pink, black is what you eat. If you plan on pig- the new orange, and no one looks ging out with no remorse, hit the good in lime green. gym at least twice. One day be- Q: “My chrome bag doesn't match fore and one other day, and all the my shoes? What should I do?” most fit girls and guys are there in A: Make ‘em match if it bothers case you need a little motivation to you. Better yet be a true hipster work harder. and just go with what you have alQ: “Where are the cool winter ready. If someone doesn’t like you sweaters at?” or thinks less of you because your A: The store. In fact anywhere shoes and bag don’t match, you rebut Urban Outfitters. Most second ally don’t want to be friends with hand stores have a great selection them anyway. They are losers. if you’re willing to look; Salvation Q: “Why should I go to college?” Army Surplus, Village Discount A: It’s important to have a degree Outlets, Ragstock or basically any to fall back on in life. Education store in Bucktown. Holiday sweat- is the key to being qualified for a ers are about being unique and job, so without a proper degree, weird. it’s harder to get a job. Q: “How do I handle all the no Q: “Do you wanna have a slumber school days?” party in my basement?” A: Make friends and make plans. A: No that’s creepy. At least take Treasure your free time because it me on a date first or introduce goes by quick and then you’re back yourself…..jeez, have some class. to the normal school schedule. If Chivalry really is dead. you do nothing fun, then you’ll be Q: “What's the best deodorant to whining to all your friends who buy?” had fun, and they won’t care. A: Degree Adrenaline: it will hold Q: “Where do I find parking?” the sweat back even in the case of A: On Franklin going West by Lo- a brown bear or wolf chase. cust (by Jenner Elementary) there Q: “What do I need for college?” is free parking. But hurry and cut A: Lots of cheap food. Perhaps off the soccer moms because it try Easy Mac or Ramen. Fun fact: goes fast. you CAN live off Ramen and Easy Q: “How do I handle the cold?” Mac. Also you’ll need lots of monA: Layers. Lots and lots of lay- ey, as much as you can find and ers. You know that sweater your save. SAVE MONEY. And lastly grandmother gave you that is too but most importantly, enough cafugly to be seen in? Put that to good feine to supply an entire army; late use under a second sweater and a nights are a real thing.
Staff Writer
To the dearest of all admissions officers, I am pleased to inform you of my interest in your prestigious institution. Well, it may not be prestigious now, but once I accept your admission it will be. I know what you’re thinking, someone as profound and enlightening as me, applying to college. No, I am not a common folk, though their antics do amuse me. My parents have instilled in me from my early days vacationing in the Hamptons that although there are the poors in this world we both share, we must treat everyone equally. But that is neither here nor there, because the state of the world is not important in this essay; I am. I am the critical thinker your college needs, so much so that it is probably my greatest trait. Upon visiting your campus earlier in the year I noticed that you did not have an airport, international or domestic. The pain of landing almost twenty-minutes (20!) away from the university and being chauffeured towards campus central was too much to bear. I cannot imagine the strain that it puts on everyone who was lucky enough to be admitted. While my father was playing golf with your Dean of Admissions the other day, I saw a chance to improve both of our lives. No this is no bribe [;)] but an opportunity. All I am saying is that if you scratch my back, you get an airport. This problem solving is the greatest attribute I possess.
The class of 2015 has nightmares about the Common Application. Photo by Will Bernstein You may be thinking to yourself, how can one individual as prominent and important as me possibly be applying to this school? Some admission officers find me “a terrible human being.” Others have called me “unbearably self-entitled.” But I ask you if I could truly be a bad person if so many big words can be used to describe me. My butler doesn’t think so. That is perhaps the greatest thing about me. But enough about you, this is my essay anyways. At my school I have only been suspended twice, and once was for shaving the head of a non-legacy. I didn’t even know that was against any rules. I am captain of the equestrian team and have started numerous clubs that benefit the community. Just last week my club
“Porsches without borders” did major community service work. My “peers” and I drive our Porsches through neighborhoods that do not have the opportunity to give their 17-year-olds Porsches of their own, and let the community look at how nice they are. My other club, “Private Jets, Public Lives” enables those underprivileged kids who do not have a private jet to look at mine, from the outside. Inside tours are available for a fee, of course. As for my grades, let’s just say I haven’t found a teacher who can say no to my friends Benjamin, Ulysses, Jackson and Mo’ney Wires. I hope this essay finds your university well, and please do not hesitate to contact me with any pressing “You’re accepted” notifications. Cheers!