Laois Offaly
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Issue No. 11 Fri. 26th November, 2010 Tel: 0504-51945 email: info@offalytatler.ie info@laoistatler.ie web: www.offalytatler.ie www.laoistatler.ie
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A man and his wife were lying in bed the other night when he noticed she had bought a new book entitled, "What 20 Million Women Want." He grabbed the book out of her hands and started thumbing through the pages. His wife was a little annoyed. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" He calmly replied, "I just wanted to see if they spelled my name right."
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John and Jake went into a cafe that looked as though it had seen better days. As they slid in to a booth, John wiped some crumbs from the seat. Then he took a napkin and wiped some mustard from the table. The waitress, in a dirty uniform, came over and asked if they wanted some menus. "No thanks," said John, "I'll just have a cup of black coffee." "I'll have black coffee, too," Jake said. "And please make sure the cup is clean."
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The waitress shot him a nasty look. She turned and marched off in to the kitchen. Two minutes later, she was back. "Two cups of black coffee," she announced. "Which one of you wanted the clean cup?"
After examining a woman the doctor took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband, "but she's a great cook and really good with the kids.
He said: "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" She said: "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."
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An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
This redhead, brunette, and blonde were talking about space travel. They started talking about which planet they'd go to if they could travel in space. The redhead said,"I'd go to Mars, because it is red, like my hair." Then the brunette, not to be outdone, said,"Well I'd go to Saturn, because it's got all those groovy rings." Finally, the blonde spoke up. She said,"I'd go to the Sun." The redhead and the brunette laughed. The redhead said,"Number one, the sun is not a planet." "And number two," the brunette finished,"you'd burn up." The blonde said,"Well duh! I'd go at night!!!"
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can't they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.
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Rules for Feeding Birds 1. Feed regularly: don’t put out lots of feeders and then forget to refill them. Birds can become dependant on a food source during harsh weather. 2. Only use fresh peanuts and seed. Do not feed mouldy, wrinkled or wizened peanuts or seed. 3. Ensure fresh water is always available for drinking and bathing. An upturned dustbin lid with a stone in it is often all that is required. Be sure to remove the ice in cold weather so that birds can drink. 4. Birds often feed on the ground below a feeder. Make sure that there is no shrubbery nearby that could conceal a cat, and try to keep all feeders at least 5-6 feet above the ground.
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5. Remember to wash all feeders and to change the water in the bird bath on a regular basis. Can I feed all year round? Winter is not the only time we can help birds by feeding them - feeding between the months of April and October can also be helpful, as there is a great demand on natural resources due to the increase in hungry mouths to feed. Only put out peanuts in a fine mesh container so that parent birds cannot take large pieces that might cause young chicks to choke, and avoid fats completely. Safe foods to use at this time of year include sunflower seeds, pinhead oatmeal, sultanas, raisins, currants and mealworms.
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Kids Being Kids On the first day of school, the teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?" --A three-year old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "how did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom. ---
A father was helping one of his little twins say his evening prayers. "Bless us to be good so we can return unto Thee." "Bless us to be good so we can turn on the TV." --Another three-year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet."
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With all the dire warnings of a repeat of last year's hard winter, it is time to make sure that all the pipes and cylinders in the house are insulated to prevent winter damage again this year and to make your home as warm as toast. 1. Make sure that your hot water cylinder is insulated. Don’t be mislead into thinking that insulating the cylinder prevents the source of heat in the hotpress. A lagged cylinder will still provide ample heat in an enclosed space. Insulating the cylinder is an economically sound idea. 2. Hot and cold water pipes should be lagged to avoid freezing and bursting, especially those in the attic and those running along outside walls in unheated rooms. Other pipes to be considered are those coming into the house from the pump or going to the pump from the well. The easiest form of lagging are flexible foam tubes.
3. Radiators can be insulated to make the heat reflect back into the room instead of the heat being lost through the walls. rolls of heat-reflecting aluminium foil that cut easily with scissors are sold with self-adhesive pads. alternatively, cut pieces of cardboard and glue tin foil onto it. Place it behind the radiator with the reflective side facing the room. After a year the foil will turn black and need to be replaced. The special heat-reflecting foil does not turn black. 4. The cold water cistern should also be insulated. This can be done with with either a fibre blanket or pieces of polystyrene which can be cut to size and held in place with wooden skewers. Make sure there is a lid on the cistern to keep out insects and dirt and also to improve insulation. A lid can be made from chipboard cut slightly large than the top of the cistern and with a piece of polystyrene glued to the bottom. The polystyrene should be cut to the exact size of the inside rim of the cistern.
StopFoodWaste.ie Top Shopping Tips! · Don’t go shopping when you are hungry - you’ll buy more than you need! · If you are shopping for the week try and plan your meals ahead.
· If it’s an option for you, try shopping online for the basics - you get what you want and save money by not being tempted to buy more on visual impulse.
· Check your fridge, freezer and The Environmental Protection Agency cupboards before you go shopping and (EPA) today (Tuesday 23rd Novemplan meals around what you find. ber 2010) launched the STOP Food Waste Movement leveraging support · Then make a shopping list...and from 3 of the country’s top chefs, try to stick to it! Rachel Allen, Kevin Thornton and Donal Skehan. The three well-known · Beware of special deals - these chefs took time out to get behind the are great for toilet rolls and shampoo movement and encourage others to do but bad for fruit, veg and salads so to, as they demonstrated how to (anything that is best eaten fresh). prepare reduced waste meals whilst These are the things we buy because providing tips on how to shop for and of a "good deal" but often do not get prepare food in the most cost effective eaten. and sustainable way possible. · Try and buy loose fruit and veg - you get what you need and can cut down on packaging waste in your bin as well.
To coincide with the launch the EPA also announced the results of a national research survey of 1100 people conducted by STOP Food Waste, a programme developed by the Environ· Check use-by dates to avoid mental Protection Agency (EPA). The buying food that might get thrown out survey found that 51% of Irish people if not eaten immediately. throw away food regularly. In fact, 30% of the food we buy ends up in the · Poke around at the back of bin, costing up to €1,000 per houseshelves - you’ll often find ‘use-by hold per year in food waste. The dates’ that are further away. STOP Food Waste programme is funded under the EPA National Waste · Shop for what you actually eat, Prevention Programme (NWPP) not for what you want/wish you would where waste prevention is the preeat (e.g. "I am going to be really ferred waste management option in healthy this week and eat lots of yoIreland. gurts!") and then not eat them!
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Rents rise in third quarter of 2010 - Rents rose by almost half a percentage point during the third quarter of 2010, according to the latest report published by the property website, Daft.ie. The average rent nationwide now stands at €840. With rents also rising in the first quarter of the year, it means that rents in October were just 2% lower than a year previously and 27% below the peak. The stabilisation in rents is being driven by urban areas, which have, in some places like South County Dublin, increased in each of the last three quarters. In Dublin city centre and the North city area, rents rose 0.9% between July and October. Rents in Cork rose by 0.4% while rents in Galway rose 3.2% in the same period, reflecting seasonal demand. In Limerick and Waterford, there was an increase of close to 1%. Outside the main cities, however, rents typically fell by 0.7%, a continuation of ongoing falls in rents outside cities during 2010. Ronan Lyons, Economist at Daft.ie, said: "Indications that rents are levelling off reflects a better balance between supply on the market and demand. The total number of properties sitting on the rental market around the country is down more than a quarter from a year ago. Indeed, in the cities, the fall is closer to a half. While some parts of the country still look over-stocked, what is sitting on the Dublin market largely matches the number of properties traded in a given month, a sign that the market is currently in balance." Commenting on the report, Professor John Fitz Gerald of the ESRI highlighted the importance of recovery in the rental sector for the wider economy. "The first sign that the wider economy is beginning to turn will be a move towards rising
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rents. As of today, it is clear that rents have stabilised," Fitz Gerald said. Laois Offaly & West Leinster In the West Leinster counties of Laois, Westmeath, Offaly and Longford, rents were stable between June and September, rising 0.1% compared to a fall of 1.3% in the second three months of the year. The average rent in Offaly in the third quarter of 2010 was €610, a fall of €205 from the peak in 2007. Average rents in the cities, Q3 2010 * Dublin: €1079, up 0.3% on Q2 2010 * Cork: €836, up 0.4% on Q2 2010 * Galway: €834, up 3.2% on Q2 2010 * Limerick: €703, up 0.8% on Q2 2010 * Waterford: €663, up 1.1% on Q2 2010 Other findings * Rent-a-room income in Dublin is generally 5% below what it was a year ago. A double-room in the city centre now typically costs €515 a month. * August marked the seasonal peak of activity, with almost 16,000 properties coming off the market, compared to 12,500 in October. * The most expensive two-bedroom rents are to be found in Dublin 2 and Dublin 4, where they average €1,250 a month. In a number of postcodes, two-bedroom rents average less than €900 a month. The full report is available from www.daft.ie/report and includes a commentary by Professor John Fitz Gerald of the ESRI, as well as an analysis of affordability and statistics on residential yields around the country.
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Raheen GAA Club LOTTO The numbers drawn in last Monday [15th November] night’s Lotto were 10 13 14 21. There was no Jackpot Winner and No Match 3 Winners. Next weeks Jackpot is €4,200 AND Match 3 Prize Fund is €400 with the draw taking place in Doyle’s, Killeigh on Monday 29th November. CLUB AGM The Annual General Meeting of Raheen GAA Club will take place on Friday
SYMPATHY Raheen GAA would like to extend deepest sympathy to the family of the late Shane Gavin, Walsh Island following their tragic bereavement last week. RIP
Brosna Gaels Hurling Meeting A Brosna Gaels meeting for all members of the committee and all involved with Brosna Gaels will take place on Sunday 6th December at 6pm in Ballycumber GAA meeting rooms. Junior B The Junior B presentation night will take place on Saturday 19th February 2011. Brosna Gaels Table Quiz
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We are having a series of table quizes in December, starting with a quiz on Thursday 2nd December in Ennis Pub, Ballycumber at 10pm. On Thursday 9th December we will be in Flynn's Pub, Grogan and in Gavin's on December 16th. Firewood Auction Brosna Gaels will hold a firewood auction in the new year. We are currently asking landowners or anyone with access to firewood to donate same to Brosna Gaels. We will also remove dangerous trees if required. Please contact Liam on 086 2604770
Killavilla GAA Club AGM Killavilla GAA Club AGM is on Friday 3rd December at 8.30pm in Killavilla Community Centre. Nominations for election to the Executive Committee and motions for consideration at the AGM must be returned to the Club Secretary Eoin Meagher before Friday 26th November. All are welcome to the meeting and especially new members. Sympathy Killavilla GAA Club would like to offer our sympathy to the Maloney Family Ballyduff, on the death of Josephine Larkin nee Maloney. Best of Luck Best of luck to Drumcullen Hurling Club in the Leinster Junior Final next Sunday.
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Clara GAA Notes
By Mike Mullen, Clara GAA PRO.
Have you purchased your Sod. If not why not. Support your club.
Weekly Club Lotto Weekly Lotto 20-Nov-10. There was one winner of the weekly club Lotto jackpot. The winning numbers were 6-10-16-26. The jackpot winner was Morgan Redmond. There were four match three winners and they were Lorraine McCormack, May Kirby, Aisling Stones and Val Smullen. Next weeks lotto takes place in Doc’s and the Jackpot is €2000. Thanks to all who support our lotto and thanks to all our ticket sellers.
“Sponsor a Sod”- Clara GAA club would like to invite all current and past members (and anyone with any connection to the club, no matter how tenuous!) to be part of the launch of the new official Clara GAA Club website and the 'Sponsor a Sod' campaign. As part of our fund raising campaign to complete the new Championship pitch in Kilcoursey members and friends of the club are invited to sponsor a sod on the new pitch. Sponsors will receive Annual General Meeting a piece of the virtual pitch on a special page on our new website with The Annual General Meeting will take place on Saturday 4th December each “sod” being added piece by at 5.00pm in the GAA Headquarters piece to the page. Each “sod” can be purchased for €20 from any commit(The Convent). All members are retee member .Log onto anclarach.com quested to attend. to see how our pitch is doing. Bord Na Nog AGM Website The Bord Na Nog AGM takes place Anyone wishing to put an add on the on Wednesday 1st December at website please contact any member 8.00pm in the GAA Headquaters of the committee. (The Convent). County/Club draw
Club Notes By Email
A draw was held at Bingo on Sunday night for anyone who bought a €100 ticket for the County/Club Draw 2010. 1st prize €300 Valerie & Eilish Aughamore, 2nd prize €200 Mick Coughlan Silverhill, 5 x €100 Eamon Fleming 36 Armstrong Grove, Oliver & Teresa O’Connor Kilbride Road, Oliver Hall Raheen, Margaret Fleming 35 Marion Square and Emma & Ciara Johnson Kilcoursey
Club Notes By Email-Anyone who wishes to recieve the club notes by email please send your email address to anclarach@live.ie , you will be added to our email list and you should recieve them every Monday night.
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Ard Scoil Chiaran The Junior Footballers play Tullamore College in the Leinster Vocational Schools Quarter Final on Friday 26th November at 12Noon in Clara.
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9 Ways To Make Your Guest Bedroom Inviting And Special For Your Guests This Festive Season By Lorna Sixsmith Guest bedrooms are often used for other reasons during the course of the year when you don’t have visitors staying - be it being used as a home office, a study area, storage or perhaps it is where the treadmill is kept! But if you have visitors coming for the festive period, here are some tips for ensuring your guest bedroom will make your visitors feel very special. And remember, it doesn’t have to cost a fortune or take a long time - just a few special touches will make all the difference.
cotton, and it has the power to greatly improve or lessen the overall appeal of the room. Using a selection of framed pictures not only add a homely touch, but make your best room look charming and stylish. Frames in different styles and sizes add an eclectic, personalized touch too.
A small desk or dressing table with a table and lamp provides a comfortable space for your guest to apply their make-up, place their toiletries, read a book or do some work.
6. Colour It is best to decorate your room in a neutral colour and style as it is going to be used by 1. Hotel Touches various people. You If your guests have travelled far or can change the mood flown in, they may not have brought of the room with different coloured many toiletries or towels so some 3. Fresh Flowers or Scented bedlinen, cushions and flowers very large fluffy towels, a spare bathrobe Candles simply. Blue and white can be and some pretty soaps and shamSince guest rooms are used only lovely fresh colours in a spare poos will be most appreciated. occasionally, they may feel stale and bedroom - and still be feminine if Think of what a hotel would provide stuffy. Therefore, leave the you use a floral design. - tissues, water glasses, shower caps windows open for a while. Scented - and provide as many as you can. candles or fresh flowers in the room 7. Pillows & Cushions make it much more welcoming. Lots of decorative cushions and 2. Pictures pillows on the bed looks great but A guest bedroom should be a place 4. To read or not to read: isn’t necessarily that practical. of comfort for guests in a home Leaving a collection of books from Provide 2 pillows per person for away from home, and making a different genres and/or magazines comfort and a couple of cushions guest bedroom relaxing and inviting adds a homely touch as well as that they can use to lean against if involves more than just providing providing your guests with some reading or lounging but if adding clean sheets and soft pillows on a reading material if they wish to read more cushions for decorative detail, comfortable bed. The wall decor can before going to sleep or have a lie ensure there is a chair or sofa where make a guest bedroom look and feel on in the morning. your guests can place them at night as comfortable and as inviting as as otherwise they will just end up on sheets designed from fine Egyptian 5. A Seating Area the floor!
8. Storage We all have a habit of putting our off-season clothes and spare coats in the guest bedroom wardrobe. Make sure there is some room in the wardrobe for their clothes. There is nothing worse than having to put your clothes on flimsy clothes hangers so invest in some strong clothes hangers, or even better, get some scented ones to make your guests feel special. 9. Some little extras: Don’t forget some other accessories that may be appreciated by your guests: an alarm clock, a radio, an extra blanket in case they are cold, water glasses, some fresh fruit ….. As you can see, many of these are just simple adjustments and additions that will ensure your guest bedroom is warm, welcoming and beautiful. Indeed, your guests may never leave!
Lorna Sixsmith is owner of Garrendenny Lane, an online store stocking gifts and home accessories that are beautiful, unusual and good quality at competitive prices. www.garrendennylane.com
Knock Out Suicide taking a few hits in aid of the cause this Saturday.
Normally reports of a series of brawls taking place on Saturday night would be reported in the news, however this weekend there will be plenty of punches thrown in a very good cause, as 26 combatants prepare to "Knock Out Suicide" in Athlone IT Sports Hall. The event has been organised by Console, who are a national charity working against suicide all across Ireland. Most parts of Offaly have been affected by suicide either directly or indirectly in recent years and Doon natives Declan Rohan and Padraig Egan are among those who will be donning some gloves and
When asked about the event, Padraig said that “Suicide is something that has been too common around West Offaly and all over Ireland in recent years and any family that has been touched by suicide knows that it’s a tragedy that cuts very deeply. Console do some fantastic work in suicide awareness and prevention and anything we can do to help raise awareness of their work and hope-
fully to raise some money to help out with their efforts is worth doing.”
Padraig added that “Fundraising events like this play a vital role in keeping Console going as only 5% of the year’s budget comes from the government. We know people are finding it tough to make ends meet out there but it’s because times are so hard for so many people that the work of a charity like Console becomes all the more important.”
In the coming weeks Console will set up a community outreach proDoors open at 7.30pm this weekend gramme in Athlone, this service will with 13 fights on the card and €20 serve the midlands area and is deadmission covers both the boxing signed for those people or families and an afterparty in Scribes Bar with who would like some support and live music until late. The event is advice from Console in areas such done in association with as suicide prevention, awareness or whitecollarboxing.ie who will be bereavement support. putting on a full professional fight night production and will be an Last year set up 1Life (1800 24 7 100) which is a 24 hour suicide preevent not to be missed. Anyone looking to get tickets in advance can vention helpline. Anybody looking to contact Console do so by calling Gerard Tiernan on (083) 3402461. can call 1800 201 890 or visit www.console.ie
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The first bus load before leaving Spollenstown (Ireland v Samoa)
Tullamore Rugby Report Leinster League Div 1.A TULLAMORE 32 CILL DARA 05. With a third win in a row in the league Tullamore have restored their reputation as one of the best teams in the league. Should they beat Dundalk away next Sunday they can climb to second in the table. Tullamore started this floodlit match on the attack with backs and forwards combining well. After less than ten minutes Mick Brazil scored the opening try following a decisive break by Dave Hanlon and good support play. In the next attack MickBrazil turned provider with a great burst of pace and Aaron Deverell scored the try in the corner. Johnny Moloney extended the lead with a penalty when Cill Dara backs were caught offside after twenty seven minutes. The home sides backline were proving to be a better attacking unit than their opponents and they increased the lead six minutes before the break. This time it was Colin Hughes
who broke the defensive line with his pace and offloaded in the tackle to Mick Brazil for his second try of the evening. Johnny Moloney converted to leave the home team 20-00 at the break. The second half was not as exciting as the opening forty as lead was to big for Cill Dara to pull back even with their huge pack. When Ivor Scully intercepted on the half way line and raced away for a converted try it was game over. Moloney again converted. Cill Dara who never gave up got a consolation try with ten minutes left but Rory Deverell scored the fifth and final try for Tullamore near the end. A good performance all round where the pack more than matched a big Cill Dara unit and the backline were on fire. Alvin Bracken, Dave Hanlon, Dave Milne and captain Adrian Hanley were excellent up front with Mick Brazil, Colin Hughes and Johnny Moloney outstanding in the backline.
A group of the U-15s before leaving the club grounds.
TEAM; 15.Mick Brazil, 14. Colin Hughes, 13. Ivor Scully, 12.Aaron Deverell, 11.Mark Whelan, 10. Johnny Moloney, 9.Richie Hughes, 1. Steve McQuaid, 2. Cathal Feighery, 3. Alvin Bracken, 4. Dave Hanlon, 5. Ivor Deverell, 6.Dave Hanlon, 7. Cyril Cornally, 8. Adrian Hanley(Capt) Replacements used; Kevin Browne, Ger Molloy, Daire O’Beirne, Paul McNiff and Rory Deverell. Leinster Seconds League Div 1.A TULLAMORE 9 CILL DARA 7 Tullamore were fortunate to win this game thanks to a late penalty from Johnny Butler. If they had lost they would have no one to blame except the mistakes they made themselves in set pieces and open play. The result leaves them in third place and like the 1st team they can go second with a win in Dundalk next Sunday. Tullamore took an early lead with a Butler penalty after eight minutes but all the good early work was undone midway through the first half. Tullamore lost a linout and the Cill Dara forward had a clear run for the line from the 22 and the try was converted. Just before half time Johnny Butler narrowed the gap to one point with a penalty. Both sides missed difficult kicks in the second half in the rapidly fading light. After the referee requested the turning on of the lights with fifteen minutes remaining so to did the home sides fortune improve as they dominated play for the remainder. They inexplicably ran a penalty but were saved with Butlers late kick. Ciaran McNeill led by example and he was well supported up front by Keith Cleary, Paul McNiff and Daire O’ Beirne with young No 9 Ger Wynne improving with every game, Chris Gethings very reliable at the back and the boot of Johnny Butler deciding the result on the day. TEAM; 15. Chris Gethings, 14. Aidan Ryan, 13.Rory Deverell, 12.Niall Kane, 11. Brian O’Reilly, 10.Johnny Butler, 9.
Ger Wynne, 1. Ger Molloy, 2. Kevin Browne, 3. Keith Cleary, 4.John Connolly, 5.David Molyneux, 6.Daire O’Beirne, 7. Ciaran McNeill(Capt), 8. Paul McNiff, Replacements used;Nick Berry, Kevin Garry,Eoin Kerin, Fearghal O’Mahony and Danny Madden. NEXT WEEKEND; SATURDAY; U-13 Tullamore v Dundalk Leinster Premier League @ 12.30pm U-15 Tullamore v Dundalk Leinster Premier League @ 12.30pm U-17 Dundalk v Tullamore Leinster premier League @ 11.00am U-19 Dundalk v Tullamore Leinster Premier League @ 11.00am SUNDAY ; Dundalk v Tullamore Leinster League Div 1.A @ 2.30pm Dundalk 2nds v Tullamore 2nds Leinster Seconds League @ 1.00pm 3rds Tullamore v Athy Leinster Prov 3rds League @ 2.30pm
Ireland v Samoa Tullamore Rugby Club had 280 Youths and Minis players with parents at the match last Saturday, 13th November, in the new Aviva Stadium. Five buses left Spollenstown at 11.30am. What started as an idea to sell some of the excess tickets for the Samoa game snowballed due to the extremely good value of €25 per ticket, including the bus and the novelty of visiting the brilliant new home of Irish Rugby. The club was so overwhelmed with the demand that they had to source tickets from other clubs to meet the excess applications received. In the end everybody who applied was looked after. Tullamore U-17 team went one better and organised a game in Dublin against Guinness before heading to Lansdowne Road. The reports back were that everybody had
LOCAL SERVICES - LOCAL SERVICES Conor Doran Electrical NO MORE BILLS TV!!!
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We also water seal your roof from the inside with
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086-254 5189 or 057-9135 270
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LOCAL SERVICES - LOCAL SERVICES Repetition is an important part of Advertising Why? Because it is through repetition that you establish your credibility, establish brand familiarity and become the first thought when a need for your type of product or service arises.
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087 2768148
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• Gates Supplied & Automated Tel: • GSM Gate Openers Email: Philip Quirke • DIY Gate Kits Tel:0504-42497 sales@suirwayautmation.com • CCTV Systems Web:
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A closed gate is a great deterrent to keep unwanted intruders away
AGENTS FOR:
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Renewable Energy Solar Panels Underfloor Heating Oil, Gas, Solid Fuel Control Heating Systems
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M&H CADDY CARS
Specialising in Roman blinds All types of Rollers and Venetians Made to measure curtains or re-vamp your old curtains
Brophy Plumbing & Heating
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HEADSTONES Limestone, Marble & Granite Irish Celtic Crosses Stone Cleaning & Inscriptions
Kitchen Worktops Custom Made Stove Hearths in granite
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AJ AJ Floor Tiles
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Wall Tiles €7.50sq. yd.
Contact Alison or John Tel: 057-9122 675 mbl: 087-798 3034 Swag St., Crinkle, Birr, Co. Offaly
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MARY’S FOOT HEALTH CLINIC
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- Construction Supervision - Project Management - Cost Consultant
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Phone/Fax: 0505 22132 Contact John: 086 6000 188 Contact Patrick: 086 3039239
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Premier Industrial Equipment Ltd Dumpers • Diggers • Rollers • Water Pumps Mixers • Cherrypickers • Pokers • P/Floats Banagher, Co. Offaly Crinkle Birr 087 6176472 057 9120103 Office - 057 52982 Email: premierplant@yahoo.ie
Web: www.premiertoolhire.ie
Do you suffer discomfort from……… Corns; Callus & or cracked heels Athlete’s foot; Ingrown toe nails Fungal & thickened nails; Verrucas Mobile clinic available on Unable to cut your nails. request
To an appointment Contact Mary on (086)3519416 MARY MURPHY S.A.C. Dip FHPT S.A.C. Dip FHPP Registered Member of the Irish Chiropodists/Podiatrists Organisation Ltd
For ads that get noticed, not lost, call 0504-51945
Classified Ads “You’ve a much better chance of selling it closer to home! would You travel to West Cork to buy a used telly? ........neither would I!”
You can pay for all ads by Credit Card or Laser
Sell Your Stuff! This size ad + photo €20 Phone 0504-51945 Email: info@offalytatler.ie
per issue (line adverts)
(For up to 25 words. Over 25 words add .25c per word Highlight your classified ad with a colour background €10 Place a box around your ad and include photo €20 Payments by Credit Card or Laser - Minimum of €10
To place a classified ad post ad with payment to: Laois Offaly Tatler, Curraghgraigue, Borrisoleigh, Co. Tipperary
Need Extra Cash? Clear out your attic Empty Your Shed Sell it Fast in The Laois Offaly Tatler
Professional counselling available in the Thurles area. The service covers general counselling, bereavement, suicide bereavement, stress, anxiety, self-esteem, Avon are recruiting representatives in all relationship difficulties and couples areas, no start up costs, contact Margaret counselling. Qualification recognised by the Irish Association for Counselling and 086-0234484 iss11-16 Psychotherapy (IACP). Some evening appointments available. ph Jim O Shea 087-8211 009 www.jimoshea.net
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Financial Services Need advice on mortgages,clearing debt, life assurance costs,health cover etc contact Eamonn Walsh now 086-0471147 iss145
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Bonhams for Sale Beautiful multi-coloured piglets for sale. Outdoor breed. Thriving well. Male and female. Tel; 086 4021659
To Rent
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Recruitment Sales Agents Wanted Have you experience in Advertising Sales?
Could You Sell This Space?
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If The Answer is Yes, Then Get in Touch
Must have a passion to help businesses succeed by explaining the benefits of advertising and understanding their needs, while creating a solution suited to the business and the budget. The Laois Offaly Tatler is published by the Tipp Tatler which has been operating successfully for over 8 years. We pride ourselves on consistently delivering real results to our loyal advertisers. If you think you can help businesses in your area increase sales and grow profits, then please contact us. Your County needs you!
LOCAL SERVICES - LOCAL SERVICES
Roscrea Glazing Manufacturers of Double Glazed Unit Covering all areas of North and South Tipperary
Phone:0505-47450
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Unit 1 Industrial Estate, roscreaglazing@eircom.net Shinrone, Birr
CANGORT MEMORIALS • Headstones of distinction erected countrywide • Quality cleaning service All work completed without delay
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Birr Carpets & Furnishings Ltd. Complete Home Furnishings
Fitting Service Available Free Delivery Opening Hours: 10.00am-6.00pm Six days a week Main Street, Birr, Co. Offaly Tel/Fax: 057 9120766
WIXTED ELECTRICAL Domestic - Commercial - Industrial New Builds • Extensions • Renovations (Prop: James Wixted) Templemore, Co. Tipperary.
Maintenance Contractors
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Tel: 087 8475307 / 086 6075415 Cangort Park, Shinrone, Co. Offaly
BLINDS & CURTAINS Roller, Wood, Venetian & Vertical Readymade & Made-To-Measure Curtains Wide Range to Choose from & Best Price Around
Tiles & Timber Flooring Ltd. Large range of tiles and timber floors Available, Solid Doors available. Professional fitting service available Free Quotation Free Delivery |Presented by: Mike Gavin
MEMORIALS FOR LOVED ONES
Co
YOUNG’S RECOVERY SERVICE
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ee
PRINT & EMBROIDERY
Your idea Corporate • Workwear HERE! Hen & Stag Night • Birthdays T-shirts • Hoodies • Sweatshirts Polo & Rugby Shirts • Jackets
s
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24hr service
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Smyths Sand & Gravel LTD. Noel Kileen
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(Tipp) 087-1413238
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Feeling depressed, anxiety, stress, Relationship problems...? Need someone to talk to in confidence?
Tony Monaghan, Tullamore
Ph: 086 8776737
Full / Half Lorry Loads Good Quality Dry Seasoned Hopper Turf / Firewood Available in Bags Variable Size Loads
Suppliers of Ready Mixed Concrete
Counselling & Psychotherapy
Phone/Fax 067 31083 Mbl: 086 8353197
Solid Fuel - Turf / Firewood
(Offaly) 087-0904953
Mob: 087-2561835 Mob: 086-2561835
O’Moore Street, Tullamore, Co. Offaly Tel: 085 738 5772
Roofing Supplies Between Birr and Portumna
Roof Cladding Available
all colours, all lengths available now We do a full range of Flashings and Accessories, PVC or Polyester Ready to Erect Sheds, Made to Order Box Profile & corrugated available in all lengths Nationwide delivery Ph: 087-9390661
Heads ‘n Tails
Tel:
0505 47239
Mob:
Michael Morkan Groomer, Member of IPDGA
087 9692992
ROSCREA Rd., Shinrone, Birr, Co. Offaly morkanlorraine@eircom.net
Bridal Wear, Graduation Dresses, Wedding Outfits, Evening Wear Open: Tues - Fri: 10am - 5pm & Sat: 10am - 2pm
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When you pre pay for 5 ads you get 1 Free Call 0504-51945 NOW to avail of this Special Offer.
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Cryptic Crossword ACROSS 1. Rang, lad can come over the navigation from the River Barrow to Dublin. (5,5) 6. Sounds like giant simian King was in Mayo village of antiquities with a famous cross. (4) 9. Ah, line up to take the air. (6) 10. I set us up to get a thin paper. (6) 12. Leaves, go if ale is disturbed. (7) 13. Tram in difficulties in Ulster linen town where the Six Mile Water enters Lough Neagh. (6) 16. Shuffle a high card, Alec, for famous holy antiquity found in Limerick ring fort in 1868. (6,7) 21. Sounds like beer will make you ill! (3) 22. If Colm, of fresh disposition, goes to Clare he will see sheer 700 feet drop to the sea near Liscannor. (6,2,5) 25. "Instead of language we have ------, instead of principles, slogans" Eric Bentley. (6) 27. Fun race around the fiery chamber. (7) 29. Too wise seemingly, to surround nobleman on an annual basis. (6) 31. Put a stop to northern article on fruit. (6) 32. Sneem lyrics include reference to Tipperary village, once a diocesan cathedral town. (4) 33. Biker's been over to principal West Cork town of the fighting MacEgans on the River Ilen. (10)
DOWN 1. Derg lineage includes a Limerick village with castle, seat of the Fitzgerald Knights. (4) 2. Make a dash for pretty Wicklow village on the main Dublin to Wicklow road near the Devil's Glen. (7) 3. Devil about to start digging. (7) 4. Run back to the South East and take care. (5) 5. "I'm fast. I'm a bad ---. God will strike me dead. I'm seventeen. I'll go to hell." Dylan Thomas. (3) 7. Sob ever about being able to see. (7) 8. Leaner, glum. (anag.) Wicklow beauty spot where Fiach MacHugh defeated the English in 1580. (10)
11. No, I return as charged. (3) 14. Jo, see McJay about Dublin writer (1882-1941) who brought Leopold Bloom to life for a famous day. (5,5) 15. "Moral indignation is jealousy with a ----." H.G. Wells (4) 17. Some of it plus the rest of it is this of it! (3) 18. Face up to where you might eat out. (4) 19. Not hers in Garnish Island. (3) 20. Administration boss seen shortly in Joyce Organisation. (1.1.1.) 22. Dog end? Cut it short! (7) 23. And team is upset, but has the authority to act. (7) 24. Cheer at digging up about two and a half acres. (7) 26. Fuel rating zero forty nine. (3) 26. Party-loving American soldier has mushrooms for example. (5) 28. Arts graduate goes west and north to see ancient Irish protected cattle enclosure. (4) 30. "..and his heart was going like mad and --- I said ---, I will ---" James Joyce. (3)
There are only three types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't. - Anonymous
Sudoku for Kids! Every row, column and minigrid must contain the numbers 1 through 4. Don’t guess use logic!
3
3 1
2 2 4 2
Grow Your Business! Call the Offaly Tatler today & Promote Your Business throughout Co Offaly. Phone 087-6258475 / 0504-51945 “Trying to do Business without Advertising is like winking at A girl in the dark. You know you’re doing it, but no one else does” Phone today to Book your ad,
2
Tel: Fiona 087-6258475 Office 0504-51945 E: info@offalytatler.ie
Solution to crossword in last issue (No.10)
Increase Sales, call 0504-51945
Counselling
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Prayers The Miraculous Prayer – Dear Heart of Jesus, in the past I’ve asked for many favours. This time I ask You this very special one (mention favour). Take it Dear Heart of Jesus and place it within Your own broken heart where Your Father sees it. Then in His merciful eyes it will become Your favour, not mine. Amen. Say this prayer for 3 days, promise publication and favour will be granted. Never known to fail. U.G. .The Miraculous Prayer – Dear Heart of Jesus, in the past I’ve asked for many favours. This time I ask You this very special one (mention favour). Take it Dear Heart of Jesus and place it within Your own broken heart where Your Father sees it. Then in His merciful eyes it will become Your favour, not mine. Amen. Say this prayer for 3 days, promise publication and favour will be granted. Never known to fail. E.F.
St. Therese of Lisieux O Glorious St. Therese, whom almighty God has raised up to aid and inspire the human family. I implore your miraculous intercession. You are so powerful in obtaining every need of body and
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Bereavement and grieving (continued from previous issue) Grief – A Creative Response
I have written a considerable number of articles on bereavement and grief so far. This will be my last one on that topic. I am conscious that I have not touched on how families, children, teenagers and elderly people grieve. If any readers wish me todeal with any of these, please contact the Tipp Tatler and I will be glad to do so.
spirit from the heart of God. Holy Mother Church proclaims you, Prodigy of Miracles”The Greatest Saint of Modern Times” Now I fervently beseech you to answer my petition. (mention here) to carry out your promise of spending heaven doing good upon earth, of letting fall from heaven a shower of roses. Henceforth dear Little Flower, I will fulfil your plea ‘to be made known everywhere’ and I will never cease to lead others to Jesus, through you, Amen. St. Therese of the Child Jesus, live in the heart of the church. Pray for me. Say for 9 days and you will receive a flower during or after 9 days, as an indication that your request will be granted. M.M.
To conclude this set of articles, I would like to say that there are many ways of helping yourself to grieve. Writing a letter to the deceased is a good one, keeping a journal to record your thoughts and feelings is another, painting or drawing is also an excellent way of expressing emotions. You don’t have to be an artist by the way. Colour is the main ingredient. Your instinct will tell you what colour to use. Poetry is also a very good way to vent grief. I would like to conclude with one of my own grief poems.
Prayers: €7.50
The lights of Christmas make me sad, for they remind me of my dead child who was a light in my life and who passed from me like a candle quenched by the cruel fingers of fate. Oh, how I hate to think of it. That child reminded me of me when I was young and carefree, wild, quiet, full of mischief and of glee, blushing with the bashfulness of innocence.
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Cathal
By Jim O’Shea And every day I listen carefully to ensure that it remains with me. For the voice is the sign of the spirit, it is the essence of the inner soul. And his voice was soft as silk, like the music of the rain in Spring it falls upon my hardened heart. And no! I will not forget, as long as breath remains within me, that lovely sound which echoed in our lives for thirteen short Summers before it died.
I composed this poem as I drove into the town of Thurles on Friday 20th of December 1996, almost 7 years after Cathal’s death. I had celebrated the end of term with my staff and was in a happy mood. Then, without warning, the bright Christmas lights of Thurles reminded me of the darkness that had descended upon our household in February 1990, following a joyful Christmas when Cathal had presented us with a lovely fruit bowl. It must have taken him a long time to save that much money from his frugal pocket money. I feel my tears anew as I contemplate his generosity. And I still remember the soft sound of his voice.
(continued in next issue) Jim O’Shea works as a counsellor from Furze, Thurles. Ph. 087 8211009 www.jimoshea.net . JimO’Shea’s book ‘When a child dies. Footsteps of a Grieving Family’ is published by Veritas. The royalties from this book will go tosthe Children’s Hospital in Crumlin.
He was to me myself. Six Christmases have come and gone With each the easing of my pain, but all the same, the memories remain, and live within me, and I see him every day. I always fear that somehow in the distance of time since he was placed in the cold earth, alone, waiting fo rme to come and join him in eternal sleep, that I will forget the sound of his voice.
Did You Know..... In 1861, Dr. Richard Gatling patented the Gatling Gun, a six-barreled weapon capable of firing 200 rounds per minute. He created the gun during the American Civil War, believing that the invention would end the war by making it unthina-
ble to use because of the horrific carnage that could be caused by his weapons. The Gatling Gun's power would, at least, reduce the number of soldiers required to remain on the battlefield.
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