PROCRASTINATION
“Procrastinationisthethiefofjoy.”
~EdwardYoung
“Neverputoff‘tiltomorrowwhatmaybe donethedayaftertomorrowjustaswell.”
~MarkTwain
AsIwascleaningoutmydeskinpreparationfor myupcomingmove,Icameacrossabigproject onbirdsfromelementaryschool.Iturnedinafine effort,forwhichIreceivedanA.Theclasshad beengivendirectionsandadeadline,weeksin advance.Iconfess,whatstandsoutthemostfor meisthateveryoneinmyfamily,includingmy youngerbrother,helpedtoresearch,illustrate andproducethereportformetocopyinits entirety,allonthefinalweekend.WhenIwasin highschool,IwastheonlypersonIknewwho stayedupallnightstudyingforthenextday’s Grade13Chemistryfinalexam.WhileIwas attendingUniversity,mystepmotherwas invariablycorralledtotypemyessaysatthelast minute,oftenpagebypage,asIracedtofinish themontime.Iwouldthengoandslidethem underprofessors’officedoorsafterhours.Asa teacher,IrecallonetimewhenmywifeJuta workedthroughthenightwithme,transcribing mystudentreports,oneafteranother,asIcreated them.Ifinishedupthatordealbywritingthekids’ namesontheenvelopesasIwasdrivingtoschool onhand-outday.
SoIhavelife-longexperiencewith procrastination.Oneforminwhichithascarried ontothisdayisinwritingarticlesforthe HUB. Davealwaysgivesmeadeadlinedatewellin advance,buttheactualwritingcomesdownto thelastcoupleofdays.
Ihavealwaysfeltthatprocrastinationisoneofmy flaws.Itiscounter-balancedbythefactthatIam veryefficientwhenIamboundbyanimminent,
inflexibleschedule,andItrynottolowermy standardsjustinordertofinishontime.So procrastinationcanworkforme.However,it comesatacostandsometimeswithreal disadvantages.Once,onthefinaldaybeforemy reportcardsweredue,Ihadtomissanend-ofhockeyseasonteamcelebratorypigroastand party.Weweretheleaguechampions,andIwas thecaptain.Severaltimesduringtheevening, teammembersphonedtoenticemeintocoming. Ididn’tgo.Itwasmyfault,andIhadtoownit. Muchoftheanxietyanddifficultywithwriting takesplaceintheactofnotwriting.It’sthe thinkingaboutwritingthat’sdifficult.Thedread ofdoingthetaskusesupmoretimeandenergy thandoingthetaskitself.Thatistheperplexing thingaboutprocrastination.Althoughitseemsto involveavoidingunpleasantundertakings, indulginginitgenerallydoesn’tresultin happiness.
However,whatifIcouldlearntolookatthe entire,oftenrepeatedcycleinanew,more positivewaysothatmyhappinesswouldnotbe impacted?Coulditbetruethatthetraitof procrastinationmightbebeneficialforme?I wouldliketoeliminatethefeelingsofguiltand stressrelatedtomylifelonghabit.
Procrastinationcanbebeneficial.Itcangrantyou thespacetotakeinventoryofyourlife.Itcangive youopportunitiestobecuriousandlearn. Urgencyforcesyoutogetintoastateofhyperfocuswhereyoucandoyourbestwork.Thelastminutepanictogetajobdonecantriggeran adrenalinesurge,givingyouamajorenergy burst.AsI’vementioned,itdefinitelymakesme workmoreefficientlywhenthedeadlinecan’tbe pushedbackanyfurther.Doingsomethingunder asenseofpressurecanalsogiveyouabigger
dopamineboostwhenyoudocompleteit. Withthatcomesjoy.Ifyoulookatitina differentway,procrastinationgivesyoua chancetotakeabreak.Itallowsyoutorelax.
Whenyouarerelaxed,theperiodsofleisure aremorelikelytoleadtoyourcreative breakthroughs.Tryingtopushthroughand getsomethingdoneissometimestheleast productivethingyoucando.Goodideas rarelycomeinthemiddleoftediouswork.
Delayingtasksgivesyourbrainabreak, whichcanbevaluableforcreativityand problem-solving.Don’tthinkyouare slackingoff;youareprobablyunconsciously doingthehardpartofthework–comingup withtheideasandfiguringouthowto approachthem.Amazingly,itissaidthat MozartwrotehisoperaDonGiovannithe eveningbeforeopeningnight,composing themusicinhishead.
Byallowingandapprovingspacefor procrastination,youcanusethefreetimefor otheractivities.Schedulingtimefor procrastinationcanstopthefeelingsofguilt youassociatewithit.Plannedprocrastination breakshelpwithcognitivefunction, creativity,focusandtheeliminationof burnout.Theygiveyourbraina chancetowanderandhavefreetime. Trytoviewprocrastinationaspartof thecreativeprocessratherthan
somethingtobeavoided.Astudypublishedin PsychologicalSciencefoundthatparticipantswhowere askedtodaydreambeforecompletingataskusedmore creativeproblem-solving.Everyoneneedsanddeserves breaks.Giveyourselftimetothink,dreamandplan becausethattimeissovaluable.Allthatbeingsaid,if you,too,areaprocrastinator,itisfortunateifyouhave afriend,asIdo,whoknowsyournatureandishighly skilledinthefineartofnudging.
There,Ifeelmuchbetternow!Hopefully,myarticlenext month,whateverthetopichappenstobe,willbe completedanxietyandstress-free.Andontime!
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Thisisdifferentfrommyusual article.Myplatformisnot typicallypolitical.However,Ihave apassionforourconstitutional rightsascitizensofthisbeautiful country,tohavetheabilityand choicestomakeandexplore educatedandempowered decisionsforourhealthchoices andself-care.Thatincludesaccess totherapeutic-level,safeand scientificallyvalidatedproducts (regulatedsince2004inCanada).
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MICHAELMARINI, B.Sc.Phm.Pharmacist
By:DaveScott
ManagerLeoDurocheroftheBrooklynDodgersutteredthesewordstodescribe baseball'sgreatMelOttandhisGiantsteamwhentheywereinlastplaceduringthe 1946season.
Itisaphrasethatwascommonplaceinsocietyforalongtime.Ihaveheardafew coachesuseitovertheyearsandoftenwonderedwhytheywouldeven considersayingit.
Inanintensegame,Iguessintheheatofthemoment,theymay havesaidittoinstillakillerinstinctinagroupofathletes. Growingupinthe70sand80scultureofsports,Ithinksome ofustookitasgospel,tooyoungtounderstandthatyou couldbebothaniceguyorgirlandwinorlose.
Ialwaysfiguredthatifyoupractisedandplayedhard, continuedtolearnthegame,andplayedrespectfully oftheotherteam,alltherestwouldtakecareofitself.
Theideaofanycoachistofirsthelpdevelopgood people,bethey,kidsoradults.Understandingtheir mindsetandskillsetanddoingitinapositive formattolearnandbecomeanexcellentallaroundperson.Ifwinningisyouronlyconcern, thenyouaresorelymissingoutonthepositive aspectsoflife.
Itwasinanerawherefewunderstoodtheword empathy,whichistheabilitytosenseother people'semotions,coupledwithbeingableto understandorimaginewhatsomeoneelsemight bethinkingorfeeling.Itisempathywhich,once youcancomprehenditsvaluewithinthesport,be itwinningorlosing,changestheperceptionof"nice folksfinishlast"to"humblefolksappreciateall."
Mylastpointonthistopicisthatweneedtobeable towinandloseandunderstandthatwewilllearn positivelessonsfrombothoutcomes.Sure,thewinners maygetthetrophythistime,andyougohomeemptyhanded,butthatmaydriveyoutolearnfromyourmistakes (oryouropponent'stechniques),workharderanddevelop moreskillsforthegame.
Wedon'talwayswineveryaspectoflife,butwelearn,moveon,and lookforwardtothenextchallenge.Folks,youmaywinorloseand sometimeseventieinlife,butneverdoubtyouwanttobethebestversion ofyourselfthatyoucanbe.Friendlyfolksalwaysunderstand!
Whereareyoulocated?
Wearelocatedat1214Bell MillSideRoad,Tillsonburg. Onamap,however,youwill seewearelocatedatthe NorthWestborderof NorfolkCounty.
WhatdoesPurposefully Unpluggedstandfor?
Mytherapybusinessis locatedona5-acresection ofthefarminthewoods.My officehasnowater,noWi-Fi andnohydro.Myoffice offersaclientalocationto purposefullyunplugfrom theirdayandthestressthattheyarelivingwith. Idevelopatherapeuticrelationshipwithaclient beforewegointothepastureandinteractwith Mask.Clientscanwalkinthewoods,sitinthe woodsorsitnearthepastureaswemeet.
Whendidyougetstarted?
Ihavebeenbuildingthebusinesssince2020.
Isitseasonal?
Ioperateallyeararound,asthereisasmall officewithheatforthewintermonths.
Whattypeofcowsdoyouusefortherapy?
Ihaveoneanimalassociate,hernameisMask, andsheisaSimmental.
Whydoyouusecowsratherthanotheranimals?
Maskdevelopedarelationshipwithmeand offersconnectiontoclients.
CowCuddlingexistsinothercountriesandis relativelynewtoCanada.
Howmanycowsdoyou have?
Severalcowsandcalvesare inthispasture,butMask attunestoclient interaction.
Howdoyoupromotewhat youdo?
Ipromotethroughthe HUB withamonthlypodcast andonPsychologyToday, asIamaRegistered Psychotherapist.
Whatqualificationsdoyou needinordertobeableto dothis?
IhaveaMaster'sinArtsCounsellingPsychology toworkasatherapistandcompletedtrainingas anAnimalAssistedTherapisttoworkspecifically withMaskasanassociate.
Doyouhaveanyvolunteers?
Idonothaveanyvolunteersastheworkisvery specific.IhaveanAnimalHandlerwhoworksin thepastureduringatherapysession.
Whatareyouhopingtoseeinthefuture?Isthere roomtoexpand?
Thereisagreatdealofroomtoexpand.Mask hasaheifercalfnamedHope,whowilllikelybe ananimalassociateinthefuture. Togetherweofferaveryunique therapeuticenvironmentonpurpose!
Thankyouforyourtime!
K����
Hello,I’mKevin, andI'mherewithLori andMask,thecow,fromPurposefullyUnplugged!
Marriageisabigstepforeveryoneandisanongoinglearningprocessthatrequiresattention toallthedetails.WithsuchhighdivorceratesalloverNorthAmerica,Idecidedtochatwith LoriBroughton,RegisteredPsychotherapistfromPurposefullyUnplugged,andseewhatsteps canbetakentohelpfolksalongthemarriagepath.
Lori:
Well,oneofthekeys,Dave,isjustacouplehavingsharedactivitiesandsharedmeaning.That's oftenwherecouplesfindjoy.Soperhapsanactivitytheydotogether,astheyhavechildren, animals,sharedjoy,sharedmeaning,consistencyaroundcommunication,consistencyaround intimacy,consistencyaroundtimetogether.Thosereallyseemtobethetopkeys.
Dave:
Isitearlyinthemarriagewhere,inmanycases,youfindthatbumpyroad?Whenstartingout, everything'snewandexciting,butsimultaneously,you'retryingtounderstandtheother person,toshowrespectandcompatibility.
Lori:
Well,therearedifferentstagesthatacouplewilloftengothrough.So,inthebeginning,it's theeuphoricstage.Usually,wearefairlyhappy.Wearegettingtoknoweachother.Weare findingjoyinthedifferencesthatwenotice.Butatsomepoint,thatshiftsformostcouples.It couldbesixmonths.Itcouldbeayear.Generally,youseeashiftthatfirstyearinandthenyou getclosertoattachment.It'stheidentificationofwhatyoulike,whatyoulove,thisclose connectionwiththeperson.ButthenDave,byyearfivewe'rehittingcrisis.We'rekindof disillusioned.We'vegotsomedecisionstomake.Thosethingsthatwethoughtwerereally cuteandlovelywhenwestarteddatingandgotmarriedmaynotrubusthesamewayatthat point.Butthenthegoodpartofthestoryisbyyearseven,therelationshipdeepensagain.By ten,andbyfifteenortwenty,usually,couplessaythattheylovewholeheartedly.Thismeans thatthere'sacceptanceofeachother'simperfections.
Dave:
Manypeoplewillgothroughcareerchangesduringamarriage,andkidscomealong.There's quiteadiversityofthingsyoumustnavigateasateamifyouneedtobeonthesamepage.In manycases,ifyouarenot,thingscanfallapart.
Lori:
Theycanfallapart,buttheycanalsocomebacktogetheragain.SoI'mgladyousaiditthat way.IfyoulookatJohnGottman'sresearch,heindicatesthatsometimesinmarriage,when thingsbreakdown,oneofthebeststepstodoisjusttokindofbackdownandeasearound andlistenandappreciatetheotherperson.It'snotalwaysaboutwinning.Ilikethatbecause whenItalktoanyoneaboutconflict,I'mlike,can'tconflictbeawin-win,notawin-lose?Why doessomeonehavetoloseinaconflict?
Dave:
You'vegottostraightenoutyourownstuffbeforeyoucansitdownwithanotherpersonin yourrelationshipandfigureoutthoseproblems.AmIclose?
DaveScott
Lori:
It'sagoodideatohavesomegroundinginwhereyou'recomingfrom,groundinginwhat you'rethinking,andreallyjustreflectonthatifyoucanfirst.Sothat'soneway.Sometimes couplesgodirectlytocouples'therapy,andthatworkstoo.
Dave:
Irealisedthatthemostsignificantpartofmarriagewasthe we (nottheI).Guysoftenstruggle withthatalittlebecauseweareindependent,weliketodoourownthing.Whenwebecome partofarelationship,that'soneofthethingsthatprobablytakesuslongertofigureout,the we.Youhavetounderstandthatit'sateamconceptnow,andthat'stheonlywayit'sgonna worksuccessfully.
Lori:
Aspartofreviewing,Ilookedatmarriage.com,thetop10thingsthatcouplesargueabout. Numberoneiscommunication,andnumber10ispoorlisteningskills.Sointhetop10,we targetedtwodifferentpiecesofcommunication.Thatispartof we,becausewhenwe communicatelikethat,wecandevelopthe we.
Dave:
Thankyouforyourtime,Lori.Howdo folksgetintouchwithyou?
Lori:
Thecellis(226)934-7425.
ScantheQRcodetowatch thefullvideopodcast.
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