NMSN Fall 2014 eMag

NMSN MAGAZINE September 10, 2014, Vol. 1, Issue 4

New Feature!

People Who Inspire Meet Rosye Cloud

• 5 SIMPLE QUESTIONS • BEING AN ARTIST

• FINDING A JOB POST MILITARY LIFE • PUTTING BEST FOOT FORWARD

TA B L E

OF

CONTENTS 3

PRESIDENT’S LETTER

4

5 SIMPLE QUESTIONS

7

TRANSITIONING OUT

10

PUTTING YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD

13

EFFECTIVE NETWORKING

17

FINDING A JOB POST MILITARY LIFE

20

7 STRATEGIES FOR VOLUNTEERING MEANINGFULLY

23

A CASE FOR ENTREPRENEURSHIP FOR MILITARY SPOUSES

26

BEING AN ARTIST

29

CONFESSIONS OF A PROFESSIONAL STYLIST

32

CREATING HEALTHY PARTNERING RELATIONSHIPS IN SMALL BUSINESS

35

FACEBOOK AND YOUR SMALL BUSINESS

38

MEET ROSYE CLOUD

44

MEET THE EXPERTS

Sue Hoppin

Carol Bowser, JD

Janet Farley, Ed.M.

Amy Schofield, ACRW Krista Wells, Ph.D.

Carol Fisher Cohen Janet Farley, Ed.M. Matt Zemon

Carrie Waller Joyce Neave

Carol Bowser, JD Greta Perry

Cover photo credit: Trish Alegre-Smith of So Your Life Images Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org About Us | Join Today | Editorial | Advertise No part of this publication can be reproduced, stored or transmitted the written permission of the Publisher.

2 in any form without

Happy Fall! Many of you are just now catching your breath after getting the kids out the door and back to school. I still can’t believe that our son (pictured here with me on our last road trip of the summer) is a SENIOR in college! I still wonder where the time goes when the memory of teaching him how to tie his shoelaces before the first day of Kindergarten is still vivid in my mind. The years sure do fly by quickly!

Sue Hoppin Nostalgia aside, it seems like every fall after the PCS season calms down and the kids are back in school, many among us turn our attention to our careers and our own personal and professional development. You won’t be surprised to hear that around NMSN, it’s no different! We’re so excited for the next installation of our annual career summit next month.

We hope we’ll see you there. If you’re still on the fence and wondering, “What makes the NMSN conference the one you want to attend?” The answer is simple: Because you’ve attended the other conferences that rehash entry level information and you’re ready for the next level.

You want to be people who will invigorate you, support you, forward thinking environment, speakers and experts who are capable, qualified and invested in your success Wondering if this conference is for you? It is if you are: • Thinking of a career shift • Established in your career • Growing or starting your business Ours is a boutique conference geared toward building the leadership skills of career minded military spouses and providing you the tools, resources and network for you to grow your businesses or take the next step toward your career goals. The intimate environment allows for purposeful discussions with speakers and experts as well as colleagues.

This year, we have folks coming in from as far away as Hawaii, Germany and the Pacific Northwest.

We hope you’ll be among them—see you in October!

Connect with us on Facebook /NMSNetwork and on Twitter @NMSNetwork

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FIVE SIMPLE

Questions

by Carol Bowser, JD

Have you ever participated in a fire drill?

What about CPR training? Let me ask, “why”? Seriously, why? How often is there a fire? How likely is it that you will need to administer CPR? Chances are pretty low. Yet, you recognize the need to be prepared if the need arises.

to share with you what is essentially CPR for solving problems in a way that builds relationships and gets the job done.

All you need to remember are 5 simple questions. Here they are: 1. What is the issue?

2. Why is it an issue?

3. What are possible solutions?

4. What am I willing or able to contribute?

5. What can we do together to make it better?

So let me ask you, do you have a go to method to address conflict or difficult conversations? Chances are probably not.

Most people don’t. It simply doesn’t occur to them. The result is often poor delivery, conversations that go sideways, and you don’t end up getting what you need.

Here is why these questions work.

First, most people don’t “get the issue” right so they waste time trying to solve

Let’s remedy that right now. I am going Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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the wrong thing or get derailed over proposals. Don’t do this. Instead ask yourself “What is the issue?” To answer this question, let’s take a second to distinguish Issues from Proposals.

to protect? What are they giving priority?

Back to our vacation example; my spouse may really see Hawaii as a place that we can get away from the daily stresses, where we can reconnect as family. Family is the motivation behind the Proposal. I might also value family, but I see managing the finances and preserving a cash reserve fund as the best way to protect and value family.

A Proposal is a suggestion HOW an Issue is to be addressed (according to the person who proposes it).

An Issue is the BIG BUCKET topic.

For example, you and your spouse have some leave coming up and you want to take a vacation. The ISSUE is where to take the vacation. Your PROPOSAL might be Hawaii (Personally, I think Bellows AFB on Oahu or Barking Sands Pacific Missile Range on Kauai are great.)

Take the time to listen and actively encourage joint participation.

Rather than clearly identifying the ISSUES that might be present for everyone, people jump straight to PROPOSALS assuming that everyone sees the “the issue” the same as they do.

Determine what is really driving the problem. Ask “Why is this an Issue?”

Third, once you have the issues firmed up imagine what possible solutions might be.

This might sound obvious. However, many people get stuck in debating the validity of their own proposals that they forget to brainstorm. They even forget to consider that other options may exist.

Going back to our vacation example; I might say “Whoa! We haven’t even discussed how we are going to pay for any vacation or if we are going to stay at home to save money! Hawaii, are you crazy?!?!

My PROPOSAL is to stay home. My ISSUE is family finances.

Determine the Issues first. Ask “What is the Issue?”

Explore alternatives. Restate what issues are on the table. Then, Ask “What are possible solutions?”

Second, investigate the motivations behind the proposals (yours and theirs). Why is it important to them? What are they trying Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

Fourth, consider your limits in time, 5

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money, energy then determine what you are willing to do. Often, people just give up or give in. It feels yucky and really does nothing except build up resentment and encourage scorekeeping.

It is perfectly OK to set limits. You can be honest and respectful at the same time.

Giving in then holding a grudge is neither honest nor respectful and a surefire way to undermine a relationship.

process. This means that you have to take the time to listen and actively encourage joint participation.

For example: “I am going to research the finances. Could you do some research on possible vacation packages to Hawaii or other sunny places?”

Encourage collaboration. Ask “What can we do together to make it better or make it happen?”

Wow, after all of this I may need a trip to Hawaii. I could make it happen AND be true to my motivations by guiding the conversation this way: “I am concerned about our finances, yet also see how we could really use some time as a family (NOTE: see how I specifically addressed my spouse’s motivation here and gave it validation?) Could we look at the budget and see how much we can afford to spend? Maybe we can do Hawaii or maybe something else might fit our budget better. I can (here is the ‘what I am able to contribute’ part) I have some time tomorrow to go over this with you. My gut says that $2000 is what I am comfortable spending.

Give it a try. The process works. Just follow it. Who knows, you might get a trip to Hawaii.

Organizations hire Conflict Management Strategies, Inc. to increase productivity by easing workplace conflict and tension, to train employees in conflict resolution skills, to evaluate internal conflict resolution processes, to coach key employees to higher levels of performance and to facilitate tangible change within the working environment.

Find and articulate your level of participation and limits. Ask: “What am I willing or able to contribute?”

Finally, set yourself up to collaborate.

Asking someone else to start doing something or to stop doing something is not collaboration. It is giving orders. To increase the likelihood that people will follow through with commitments, you must include them in the decision making Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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TRANSITIONING

Out

by Janet Farley, Ed.M.

THE BIG T

we? And any pre-game show worth watching covers the important highlights before the main event, right? Here are a few pre-transition points for you to ponder now.

We’re not referring to the Long Island Iced variety here. We are referring to your military to civilian career transition. Sooner or later, it’s going to happen to you and your uniformed loved one.

CONTEMPLATE WHERE YOU’LL LIVE AND WHAT YOU’LL DO

If the gloom and doom headlines are to be believed, it could be sooner for many military families than they expected. Let’s face the facts. Even if you feel like you’re relatively safe from the sharp blade of sequestration’s ax, it’s never too early to start planning for your future.

Whether you are planning to make it to a full 20+ years or you’re biding your time to the first off ramp, it’s important to talk about what the future might bring for you and your family. Pretending that the status quo will always be the status quo is unrealistic. There are just too many unknowns for everyone in the DoD these

Let’s just call it the pre-game show, shall Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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days, in or out of uniform.

• Do you have a cushion of savings to help make it through periods of potential unemployment?

• Have you paid down or eliminated your debt?

• Can you create a budget and a spending plan to help you better achieve your financial goals?

• Can you afford to start a “moving” fund now for all those unforeseen expenses sure to pop up when you least expect it?

• Is your credit in good shape? Have you reviewed your reports lately?

To jumpstart that conversation, visualize what your potential post-military life might look like.

• Where do you think you might want to eventually live?

• Are you open to moving to wherever the best job takes you or are you set on moving to one place for whatever reason?

• What does your other half want to do professionally? Continue in the same career field? Switch fields? Go to school?

• And what about you? Ask yourself the same set of questions. Compare notes.

MORE ITEMS FOR GROWING YOUR TO-DO LIST

You and your other half don’t need to agree on every little point, but you do need to be honest with one another about the possibilities and start talking about how you could eventually handle them together.

There will be other things to take care of as well, in addition to the job, location and money issues. Here are a few more time consuming areas you can start to address now: • Begin the process of downsizing unwanted household goods by selling off or donating the items you don’t absolutely love.

• Research the job market and cost of living in your potential relocation destinations.

• Nourish your professional and personal networks. You may need to make withdrawals on them in the near future and you want them to be strong and ready.

• Review and update the online you. Will potential employers be impressed or distressed?

RUN THE NUMBERS Living day-to-day is expensive enough.

Transitioning from one job and/or location to another can be even more expensive on top of the usual stuff. Whether it’s a subject you like to address or not, get comfy with your own financial bottom line and begin to improve it. Answer these types of questions: • If your source(s) of income disappeared tomorrow, how long could you make it financially?

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• Update or create a basic resume that you can more easily target to specific opportunities when the time comes.

• Use the available resources at the military family center and transition assistance centers on the installation.

Soak in the education now so you and yours can benefit later.

• Keep informed about the headline worthy issues affecting your livelihood.

Janet Farley is the author of The Military Spouse’s Employment Guide: Smart Job Choices for Mobile Lifestyles (Impact Pubs, 2013) and Quick Military Transition Guide: Seven Steps to Landing a Civilian Job (Jist Inc., 2012). Read her new blogs Life’s Too Short to Hate Your Job and Resume Rx. Follow her on Twitter @smartjobchoices and @mil2civguide.

As you start to plot and plan for your military to civilian transition, don’t stress over every little thing. Like it or not, you won’t always have total control over your destiny even as a civilian. If you make a few mistakes along the way, simply learn from them and move on.

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PUTTING YOUR BEST

Foot Forward

by Amy Schofield, ACRW

Military spouses are faced with numerous employment challenges. Multiple moves typically result in searching for new jobs, possible gaps on resumes, and potential certification issues. Because of this, they often have a difficult time obtaining employment, making it even more important for military spouses to put their best foot forward on their resume.

employer is looking for and that your resume clearly highlights the specific skills and experiences that the employer is seeking.

3. Review your resume to ensure you are highlighting your strongest accomplishments that set you apart from other job applicants.

Below are ten resume tips to help you get in the door: 1. Adapt your resume to each position you’re applying to.

4. Address any gaps. As a military spouse, you may have additional gaps from moving around, so ensure you address them. Volunteering is one great way to fill in any potential gaps.

2. Make sure you understand what each

5. Choose quality over quantity. It is

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generally better to send 10 tailored resumes than to apply to 100 jobs using a general resume.

Remember, the goal of your resume is to put your best foot forward—let the employer know why they want YOU over another job applicant. Make sure you place more emphasis on your actual job accomplishments, tailor your resume for each position you apply to, use industry lingo, and proofread (and then proofread again!).

6. Know how to get past applicant tracking systems. Use proper key words for the type of job you are applying to.

7. Never use your email address with your current employer on your resume.

(And speaking of email addresses, make sure that the one you are using is professional).

Amy Schofield, ACWR has been in the recruiting, career coaching, and resume writing fields for 10+ years. She has provided resume development strategies to job seekers worldwide with various backgrounds and experience levels. Amy is the founder of Schofield Strategies and is the author of Resume Writing 101 Tips and Techniques, a comprehensive guidebook for individuals who want to create their own resume using current industry trends. Schofield Strategies was the recipient of the 2013 Military Family Member Community Heartbeat Award. Amy holds an elite Academy Certified Resume Writer credential.

8. Do not include your physical street address, city, state, or zip code if you are applying to a job in your new duty location and you do not have an address there yet. (ONLY include your address if you are applying to a local position).

9. Before sending your resume, proofread it. And then proofread it again. Be sure your resume is 100% error-free.

10. Honesty is critical! Never, never, never lie on your resume.

Adapt your resume to each position you’re applying to.

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EFFECTIVE

Networking

by Krista Wells, Ph.D.

Okay, you have your 30 second elevator speech. You made it to the next level of your multilevel marketing business.You are following and friending people in your industry. But do you have a proactive plan to get out and mingle and find fortune in your follow up? How many times have you gone to a networking event and collected lots of cards and thought about reaching back out to a speaker, but didn’t? Well, without a plan it’s hard to take action. You don’t want to wait until you’re desperate for a new job to look for those dusty business cards.

Ahead for Business, and I decided it was time to chat about what you’re all doing with regards to authentic networking.

Kathy reminded me that we can’t leave networking to chance; we need to work a plan. It’s not about the number of contacts you have, but rather the quality. As a business owner and busy mom, I don’t spend a lot of time at networking events or on social media, yet I always have more coaching clients than I need. So I decided to share what I do in hopes of being helpful.

Kathy touched on a mistake I didn’t even know I was making. As a counselor I’ve learned that you can’t work harder on

I recently attended a presentation by Kathy McAfee, author of Networking Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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someone’s job hunt than they are willing to work, but I wasn’t transferring this knowledge to my networking. I would often spend too much time helping others and not getting my work done. I would meet someone new and just open my rolodex to help them. Kathy suggested I change to sharing just one tip or contact and then asking them to let me know when they followed up with that lead and then I would share another. This way the ball’s in their court and I’m not putting effort into a relationship they are not willing to maintain. I love it! I also feel that it’s a win/win. So when someone else is unloading ten suggestions, I may do the same, asking, “Which of these ten suggestions should I act on immediately?

And can I reach back out to you after I have seen results?” By checking back in, I not only get another great contact or new resource, I get to reconnect at a later date, or add them to my monthly check ins.

✓ Reconsider Memberships Simply being a member of groups and professional organizations doesn’t reap results. You have to really engage with the groups. So I find less is more. Therefore, I recently quit some affiliations, not because they were bad, but because with a full private practice and four young kids, the timing wasn’t right. I found I was a lot more engaged in the clubs I chose to stay connected with.

It’s not about the number of contacts you, have but rather the quality.

YEARLY NETWORKING CHECKLIST ✓ Declutter Your Contacts ✓ Give Away Goodies I clean out my contacts once a year when I am sending out holiday cards. Don’t waste energy on those who don’t stay in touch.

If you KNOW you are never going to call Joe, chuck his card. If you are sick of spam from Jan, unfriend her. And maybe it’s time to thank Paul for keeping in touch and give him a referral for his authentic efforts.

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I often give away mugs, candles, journals, necklaces etc. I give clients “lunch box notes” along with their invoice and bring bookmarks to events. People will call me years later because of the Cheryl Richardson grace card they posted on their desk from a speech I gave. People love goodies and they make a memorable impression. Even with a small budget you can print out inspiring quotes on cardstock paper and add a company logo.

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MAKEOVER YOUR ELEVATOR INTRO

at least monthly. I like moving people off social media and into my personal rolodex.

Is there someone you see online that you can connect with for coffee? If you take one to two minutes a week reaching out to someone new, you can create 52 new relationships a year.

I love Thomas Leonard’s take on elevator speeches in his great book “Working wisdom: lists for improving your business!,” where he suggests sharing the success stories of your clients. If you do this, you can refocus your introduction on results! At a recent networking meeting a marriage counselor announced himself, saying, “I have been a marriage counselor for twenty years and I just helped a couple on the brink of divorce learn to fall back in love. He is being stationed in Hawaii and they decided to renew their vows when they arrive.” I grabbed his card after the meeting because he didn’t make it all about him, and it sounded totally authentic and fresh!

✓ Express Gratitude Congratulate and thank people whenever you can. I’ll never forget the day I was sitting at my desk and received a large bouquet of yellow roses from Sue Hoppin, thanking me for a small gesture. It was kind and created an authentic connection.

I now take one day a month to mail a leftover memento or good book to a colleague I want to thank and keep in touch with.

MONTHLY NETWORKING CHECKLIST ✓ Attend Live Events ✓ Choose A Monthly Theme I mark my calendar with the networking events I will attend, and I check with clubs where I can’t attend to at least add the speaker to my contact list, reconnect with colleagues, etc. Your fortune is in your planning and follow up. So make time for pre-event emailing, actually attending the event with cards and treats, marking key words on business cards to jog your memory, and making time in your calendar to follow up. You just can’t get the same results online that you can face to face!

I come up with a theme each month for my teleclass, weekly podcasts, and networking. As I am networking, it’s all around a theme that helps me think of inspirational quotes, speechtopics, and article ideas.It’s an amazing way to focus and increase productivity. Clients say this monthly focus has helped them get raises, get more clients, and create more lasting relationships. ✓ Email Your Inner Circle Monthly

WEEKLY NETWORKING CHECKLIST Reach out to people who have “liked” your business and add them to your more intimate email lists. Remember to email Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

✓ Simplify Your Social Media Strategy

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I teach a star marketing technique to my clients, a simple social media time management plan, because it’s totally personalized to what you like to do best so that your networking is always authentic and never cheesy. It’s all about service, not sales. Pick what works for you! For example, I am not a big fan of blogging and/or Twitter, so I decided to focus on my Podcast. Be consistent and you will reach more of the right people and have way more fun! I do something quick over my morning coffee rather than getting wrapped up online all day and not focusing on other aspects of my business.

Create connections, not stress and anxiety.

Krista Wells, Ph.D. is The Military Spouse Coach; a professional certified career coach, speaker and contributing writer for several military publications such as milspouse.com, militarymoney.com, and CinCHouse.com. Krista is a motivational speaker and delivers workshops on military bases worldwide to help women create balance between their personal and professional lives. For more information on how to book Krista for your military spouse event please contact: krista@militaryspousecoach.com.

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FINDING A JOB

Post Military Life

by Carol Fishman Cohen

In my conversations with military spouses, career concerns tend to fall into two categories:

a spouse’s active duty has come to an end.

The strategies are not that different from those used by non-military spouses who are returning to work after long career breaks:

1. Maintaining career continuity while a spouse is on active duty, and

• Figure out what you want to do.

2. Conducting a job search for a “permanent” role once the spouse’s active duty is over.

This may seem obvious but you need to figure out whether your interests and skills have changed (or not) while you have been on career break.

A few years ago, I explored the challenges faced by military spouses in maintaining career continuity and examined in detail the career paths of two military spouses who successfully navigated this terrain.

Now I want to focus on getting hired once Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

• Consider going back to school.

Not necessarily for a full degree—but for a class or two, or for a certificate program

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on a very specific topic. Look for classes and programs that include a “field study” or “capstone project” because the field study or project is a legitimate separate entry on your resume (besides the course).

Even more important, it’s excellent conversation material in an interview or when speaking with someone in your field.

with key audiences, including various community groups, committees, and public officials to further the organization’s mission.”

• Keep track of your volunteer work.

Karen’s reference to “confidential case management” described part of her responsibilities when she was a Volunteer Caseworker for the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society. The lesson is to keep track of substantive volunteer work during the active duty years with an eye toward how these volunteer experiences will help qualify you for paid work in your chosen field later on. Which brings me to...

• Build a LinkedIn Profile.

LinkedIn has excellent free resources on how to set up a profile and use LinkedIn to reconnect with people. Military spouse Karen Golden, now Deputy Director, Military Family Issues, Government Relations, for a nonprofit was out of the paid work force for a total of 11 years.

Look how effectively she uses LinkedIn to describe experience gained both as a volunteer and in paid roles in the “Summary” section of her LinkedIn profile:

• Pursue “Strategic Volunteer Work” and learn when to say NO. Strategic Volunteer work refers to volunteer opportunities that are in line with your career goals. In addition to Karen Golden’s example above, military spouse Christina Crawford spent an entire year volunteering for Army Emergency Relief and Army Community Service at Fort Lewis where her husband was stationed. Army Emergency Relief ultimately employed her as a budget counselor, helping families figure out how to pay their bills, and assisting with credit counseling and bankruptcy filings.

“Military services program administrator and case manager with more than 15 years experience with a background, and expertise, in military community programming, family advocacy, education, public policy, social services, and information and referral. Proven record of developing and presenting programs focusing on pre-deployment, educational, financial, and emergency personal readiness service needs to military personnel and their families.

Superior capacity to thrive under pressure in fast-pace environments, provide confidential case management, effectively manage program operations, and develop and cultivate relationships Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

• Check out “Making Volunteerism Work for You”.

A guide by Blue Star Families that helps translate and make military spouse

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volunteer roles “resume ready.”

boost to hear people from the past speak enthusiastically about your interest in returning to work.

By “learn when to say ‘NO’,” I mean that people will continue to ask you to head up events you have run successfully in the past. Unless you plan to go into fundraising, or event planning, you should say no to these volunteer opportunities.

Explain you are now in full job search mode and are only taking on volunteer opportunities related to your chosen field.

Carol Fishman Cohen is a globally recognized expert on career-reentry strategy. She is the co-author of the “Bible of career reentry”, “Back on the Career Track: A Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms Who Want to Return to Work” and the co-founder of iRelaunch, a company connecting professionals returning to work after a career break with employers interested in this talent pool. iRelaunch has reached over 12,000 people through more than 180 return to work programs and presentations. Over 200 return-to-work success stories are documented on the iRelaunch. com website. Carol has studied and written about military spouse career continuity issues since 2008. Check out iRelaunch.com for tools and resources for returning to work, and note the special section for military spouses.

Remember people’s view of you is frozen in time. Even if your sense of self has diminished over time, when you get back in touch with people from the past you will find they will remember you as you were when you worked or went to school together. It’s a great confidence

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7 STRATEGIES FOR VOLUNTEERING

Meaningfully

by Janet Farley, Ed.M.

“We make a living by what we do but we make a life by what we give.”

• It gives you the opportunity to learn new skills, which can, in turn, enhance your future marketability.

The words of Winston Churchill so many years ago still ring true today. Volunteers, I suspect, understand that better than anyone else.

• It provides you with access to others, potentially leading to new friendships and networking contacts.

Volunteering, as you well know, is positive on so many levels. Not only is it good for your soul but it can do wonders for your career, too.

• It lets you try out new jobs and/or career areas before you decide to fully commit to them.

You’ll be able to truly reap these wonderful benefits if you choose your volunteer job just as meaningfully as you would a paying one.

• It allows you to keep your existing skills current while you job search for paid employment.

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1. Don’t jump at just any volunteer opportunity. In our current climate of extreme downsizing, there are certain to be enough choices out there. Instead of settling for the first one, select your volunteer job strategically.

• Will your job be project or process based?

• Is there a match between the job and what matters to you?

3. Know the timeline before you begin.

Consider committing to your new position for a limited period of time. It’s easier to give an organization your time and talents for 60 days rather than for an open-ended amount of time. That gives both you and the employer an easy out if one or either of you should decide that you’re not a good match.

• What is it that you want to do professionally in the next one to three years?

• How can you help yourself get there, via your next volunteer job?

• What skills and/or experiences would facilitate you reaching your next career step?

4. Treat the job as you would a paid one.

Sure, you’re not getting a paycheck but others are still depending on you. Show up when you’re supposed to be there.

Stay your stated hours. Keep your office behavior professional at all times.

2. Understand what your role would be before you commit. Before you say yes and make some organization happy to bring you on board, know specifically what is in store for you.

5. Be cognizant of the office politics.

Every office is different and it can take a while to get a good feel for how things truly operate where you are volunteering.

Be Switzerland-like. In other words, stay neutral when the disgruntled employees start venting. You don’t want to find

• Do you understand what your responsibilities will be?

• Is there a written job description that you can refer to for greater clarity?

• Who will you report to?

• Will you be given autonomy or will someone be looking over your shoulder at all times?

Create your volunteer dream job.

• Will you be required to work set times or will you have some flexibility in that area?

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yourself tangled in the middle of the office grapevine. You just aren’t paid enough for that... ba-da-bing. Yep. I went there.

Janet Farley is the author of The Military Spouse’s Employment Guide: Smart Job Choices for Mobile Lifestyles (Impact Pubs, 2013) and Quick Military Transition Guide: Seven Steps to Landing a Civilian Job (Jist Inc., 2012). Read her new blogs Life’s Too Short to Hate Your Job and Resume Rx. Follow her on Twitter @smartjobchoices and @mil2civguide.

6. If you see an opening, take it. If your goal is to ultimately get on the company payroll and an opportunity opens up while you are volunteering there, go after it. You’re in the perfect place to position yourself, assuming you’ve been doing a great job and treating your volunteer gig with the respect it deserves.

7. Create your volunteer dream job. Maybe you can’t find the right volunteer job but you know in your mind how it should look. Create it yourself. Or pitch it to an appropriate organization and see if they are interested.

Advertise with us!

Support military spouse-owned businesses when you place an ad with the NMSN! Attract new clients. Gain more business.

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A CASE FOR ENTREPRENEURSHIP FOR

Military Spouses

by Matt Zemon

Being married to a service member makes finding work uniquely challenging. Moving frequently often means that just when you are settling into a new job, you are off to a new assignment and have to start your job search all over again. Entrepreneurship might be your ticket out of that revolving door of job-hunting by allowing you to create a future that you design and that can go wherever you go.

and you can too. Whether it is a hobby that you love, an idea for a new or better product or service, or a community service project you are passionate about, there is a way to turn it into a business. If you have ever said to yourself, “I know I could do that better”, now is your chance to go for it.

The first step is having confidence in your idea and your abilities. Then, you need to harness the initiative to create your personal business plan to achieve your objectives. During this phase of the process I highly recommend reading “The Start-Up Of You” by Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha. They also have a number

IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, YOU CAN DO IT Entrepreneurship can be the road to pursuing your passion. More and more, people are finding ways to make money doing something they really care about Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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of free resources on their website, www. thestartupofyou.com. One tool you might consider using is “The Business Model Canvas.” You can get a free version of this tool as well as some helpful tips at www. businessmodelgeneration.com/canvas.

actions have a direct and immediate impact on the progress of your business.

You always know where you stand because you make the decisions and you see the results.

Another consideration is the financial upside of entrepreneurial risk. There is a real opportunity to match or far exceed the income you can make in a traditional job, even a really good job. If you want to know more, pick up Leonard Schlesinger’s book “Just Start: Embrace Uncertainty and Create the Future” published by Harvard Review Press or read his coauthor Paul Brown’s Forbes column, “More Evidence Why Becoming An Entrepreneur Is Less Scary Than You Think.”

IT IS NOT AS RISKY AS YOU THINK Many people think that being an entrepreneur is just too “risky”. The truth is, entrepreneurship is on the rise because corporate and professional jobs aren’t what they used to be. As our economy continues to change, there are a dwindling number of the jobs that used to be considered “safe”. If you have a corporate job today you live with the ongoing specter of downsizing on top of the probability of your spouse being transferred. Even traditionally lucrative professions like law and finance have roughly twice the number of qualified applicants for the jobs available.

THE CHOICES ARE YOURS When starting a new business, you can expect to put a great deal of time and energy into creating an ongoing, profitable concern. If you are like most entrepreneurs you see that as the price for more freedom later. However, you can build your short and long- term business plans on your personal priorities about time and income.

As an entrepreneur you call the shots and

You don’t have to live with the uncertainty that comes with working for someone else.

Even with the risk associated with starting your own business, you are the master of your fate. As an entrepreneur, your

More and more people are finding ways to make money doing something they really care about.

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that means you decide how high is up. If time with your family is a priority, you can build that into your plans. One of the key tenants of Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO), a global business network of 9,500 entrepreneurs, is that the path to creating a successful business means finding the right balance between business, personal and family.

Matt Zemon is the President & CEO of American Support, a telesales provider to 5 of the top 10 cable companies in America and one of the “Top 10 places in the cable industry to work” according to CableFax magazine and one of the world’s “Most Democratic Organizations” as certified

by WorldBlu. Zemon is also a board member for LiveAnswer.

Zemon is co-President of Jobs4America, the Entrepreneur-in-Residence for the National Military Spouse Network and a former board member of Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO) Raleigh Durham.

Finally, and especially for military spouses, starting your own business means that you can usually run it from anywhere; no matter where military life takes you or how often you move. This is a great advantage when your spouse could be re-deployed at any time.

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BEING AN

Artist

by Carrie Waller

Being an artist as a military spouse is definitely not a traditional career. But let’s face it, being a military spouse is not a traditional lifestyle. It is what we make of it. As any military spouse knows you have to constantly reinvent yourself with every move.

murals and worked as a custom framer.

After having my second child, I decided it was time to commit to becoming a professional artist. I decided to paint every day and gave myself the goal of creating a watercolor painting a week. I created my blog, Carrie’s Creations at that time and blogged about my painting adventure.

Having a blog opened me up to the art world and to other women who were also mom’s pursuing their dreams as artists.

This network of blogging friends became a huge source of motivation for me and the best part was no matter where I moved, they moved with me.

After our first duty assignment in Germany where I was unable to find a job using my degree in Interior Design I quickly realized that I was going to have to create my own opportunities. I pledged to myself that I would always do something creative as long as I was following my husband’s career. Throughout the years I have taught art to children and adults, painted Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

As I became even more serious about my 26

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art career, I started a website.

2. Set Goals 3. Dream Big 4. Share my work and work-inprogresses via Facebook, my blog and my website 5. Enter local, national and international exhibits

Having a website gave me a professional presence on-line and was one more step in my artistic career. Having a Facebook personal page and fan page have really taken my career to the next level. The ability to market myself via social media as an artist is something that artists less than 10 years ago didn’t have. I also realized after several moves as a transient artist I had a benefit that a lot of local artists were not taking advantage of—the fact that I knew we would only be in one location for a few years or less pushed me to hit the ground running.

By painting daily I was gaining the skills I needed to accomplish my goals and dreams. I didn’t have to finish a painting everyday but I needed to get brush to paper every single day. It was equally important to make a list of goals. If you don’t know what you want to achieve how

As soon as we moved to an area, or even before we got there, I was researching local art clubs, galleries and exhibitions.

I reached out to art club members via Facebook and e-mail and had immediate connections when I got there. I noticed that a lot of artists felt the need to gain a name for themselves on the local level before striving for national or international recognition. These local artists didn’t have an immediate time crunch so they could take their time, but as a military spouse I knew I didn’t have that luxury. The quick time line really worked to propel me quickly into local and national art scenes.

I looked at my art as a business and made a strategic plan of action. I wanted to gain local, national and international recognition simultaneously.

If you don’t know what you want to achieve, how are you ever going to achieve it?.

are you ever going to achieve it? I made sure to include big dreams on that list of goals. I also placed my goals/dream sheet where I could see it. It is important to see that list every day. I put a human face on my art career and shared my ups and downs with my career and paintings. I shared art works when they were completed and work in progress pictures of my art. By doing these things I

My plan of action was: 1. Paint Daily Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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was engaging my audience and branding myself. People want to be invested in you and your art so you have to let your personality shine through. I entered big and little exhibits that I thought would benefit my career. This has been instrumental in getting my name out there and gaining exposure.

Carrie Waller is an award winning, internationally recognized watercolor artist, military wife, and mother to two young sons. Her unique works are bold, dramatic, vibrant, and full of light and color. Carrie is a guest co-host and contributor Artists Helping Artists the #1 art blog radio show. She is also signature member of the Louisiana Watercolor Society and has paintings in collections around the world. Carrie Waller was one of the curators for the inaugural NMSN Military Spouse Small Works Art Exhibit.

By being persistent and sticking with my plan of action I have had much success.

I sell work locally and on-line and have won many awards, been featured in major publications nationally and internationally and am now teaching workshops on my art techniques and my marketing strategies. So, to my fellow milspouse artists—it is entirely possible to make it as an artist, even with our mobile lifestyle!

Interested in Submitting an Article?

NMSN newsletters and digital magazines feature a wide range of articles dealing with every aspect of military spouse careers.

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CONFESSIONS OF A PROFESSIONAL

Stylist

by Joyce Neave

Starting out on your career or looking to rebuild your wardrobe after a prolonged absence from the workforce and worried about the cost? Incorporate some of these confessions from a stylist to learn how to look good without breaking the bank.

expensive pants with a cute top from H&M. (Hint: when choosing a low priced item, make sure it is sewn well and the fabric does not look cheap.)

1. I AM A REPEAT DRESSER

To me shopping is a like a treasure hunt— sometimes I come up empty handed, but when I find that special garment or accessory, it is very exciting. (Hint: know what you are purchasing and what it is worth. Never buy just to buy, and always check for damages.)

3. I SHOP CONSIGNMENT

I do not like having a ton of clothes. I prefer to create new outfits using the same pieces. (Hint: go for classic pieces in the same or complementing color family.)

2. I WEAR HIGH/LOW

4. I AVOID WEARING DESIGNER LABELS ON THE OUTSIDE OF MY CLOTHES

I have been known to wear really Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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The best dressed men and women of the world let the quality and fit of their garments speak for themselves. Outer labels are status, not style. (Hint: if you love designer items—and who doesn’t?— look for garments and bags that have labels on the inside only.)

Joyce Neave: is an authority on fashion and style. As founder of “That Mom Inc.,” Joyce has been “styling” for over twenty years. Featured in Style Setter by Washington Post, Ten Well Dressed Women in Washington by Washingtonian Magazine, and A Fresh Eye- Washingtonian Magazine. Joyce was profiled on WUSA9 News to highlight her wardrobe consulting practice as well as her forward thinking blog: thatmominc. blogspot.com, specializing in helping moms realize their stylized potential. Joyce provides fabulous practical style at thatmominc.com

5. I LOOK FOR INSPIRATION FROM OTHERS If I like the way someone looks, I try to identify what makes them look so good, and then I incorporate it into a look that works for me. (Hint: if it’s a color, make sure it’s a color that will look good on you—same with cut or style.)

6. I DON’T FOLLOW EVERY TREND I do not like every trend, they don’t always fit my style or age. I pick and choose what I like and then find fun ways to stay current. (Hint: if you like a trend, try a little bit, an accessory. Only add one trend per outfit.)

The best dressed men and women of the world let the quality and fit of their garments speak for themselves.

7. I DO NOT LIVE AND BREATHE FASHION Don’t get me wrong... I LOVE fashion!

But let’s keep it in perspective. Beauty comes from within. Your kindness and love is what people will remember. And it is certainly not worth going into debt. (Hint: find clothes that look great on you, and then go spend time with the people you love!)

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10.5 in.

8.0 in.

INSPIRED BY THOSE WHO KEEP US

FREE AND SECURE We believe the brave men and women who keep us free and secure deserve checking that is free and secure. That’s why we offer free ATM use nationwide1 with no monthly service charge and no minimum balance fees. Plus, free fraud alerts and zero liability if your debit card is lost or stolen.2

USAA Secure Checking usaa.com/banking | 800-531-8722

1 USAA Bank refunds up to $15 in other banks’ ATM usage fees each month and does not charge a fee for the first 10 withdrawals. Subsequent transactions will be charged $2 each. A 1% foreign transaction fee applies to withdrawals outside the United States. 2 You must notify us promptly of any unauthorized use. Availability restrictions apply. Purchase of a bank product does not establish eligibility for or membership in USAA property and casualty insurance companies. Bank products provided by USAA Federal Savings Bank, Member FDIC. © 2013 USAA. 144121-0313

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CREATING HEALTHY PARTNERING RELATIONSHIPS

in Small Business

by Carol Bowser, JD

“He is driving me crazy!”

have different approaches can be a valuable resource. You can gain insight.

Be intellectually and creatively inspired.

For example, if you are a creative thinker partnering with someone who can help you translate a vision into SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant & Timely) goals can be the thing that takes your business to the next level.

Alternatively, if you are a “risk minimizing person” pairing with someone who has a “benefit maximizing” view of life can help you expand your thinking.

“She is a total whack job, and she is my webmaster!”

“I am trying to remain professional, but he will not return my calls!”

Sound familiar? As a business owner it is essential to develop relationships with a wide variety of people. Some interactions are effortless. Some keep us awake at night. In an effort to help you sleep and develop strong and profitable business relationships, here are some things to consider.

In either case, it is a matter of identifying and managing the differences.

Surrounding yourself with people who Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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The stress and lack of sleep results from clashes of styles and competing expectations that seem unmanageable.

The key is to recognize and manage the differences. Here is how…

and manage the differences is key.

For a great resource on navigating differing work styles, check out “The Way We Work” by Cynthia Ulrich-Tobias.

Deliberately reflect on and articulate your expectations and working assumptions from the relationship.

Talk about what you view as “deal breaker” items with your potential collaborator.

For example, do you view “deadline” as a drop dead date or is it merely a target?

Do you expect phone calls to be returned within 2 business days? Do you believe that if something is really important, your collaborator will pick up the phone or is email or text the preferred method of communication?

A prudent person avoids unpleasant things; a wise man overcomes them.

—Michael Lipman

Behaviors that are “obvious” or “just common sense” to you are based on your life experience. Not everyone has the same experience as you. Let’s be frank here. Some people are in business for themselves because they could not be employees of anyone else.

Organizations hire Conflict Management Strategies, Inc. to increase productivity by easing workplace conflict and tension, to train employees in conflict resolution skills, to evaluate internal conflict resolution processes, to coach key employees to higher levels of performance and to facilitate tangible change within the working environment.

As you enter into any working relationship (collaborator, partner, employer or contractor) consider how this relationship will work. Take a minute to discuss styles, expectations and assumptions. If your styles are different, ask yourself “Is this a style difference you can tolerate?”

Or will you be working too far out of your comfort zone. Remember, when it comes to creating healthy partnering relationships, taking the time to identify Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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1 summit. 2 days. 3 events.

Business Boot Camp October 10, 2014

Career Success Toolkit October 11, 2014

Speed Mentoring October 10, 2014

Transitioning? Starting your own business?

Or just looking to network with other military spouses and amazing mentors?

Join us for the 4th Annual Military Spouse Career Summit!

October 10 - 11, 2014 Springfield, VA

Register now at: www.milspousesummit.com Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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FACEBOOK AND YOUR

Small Business

by Greta Perry

Facebook (FB) is a free service that many small business owners depend upon for branding and marketing purposes.

However, just because it is free does not mean everyone should attempt at marketing on there. My long-standing advice regarding businesses and Facebook is this, “If you can’t manage or set it up well yourself, hire someone professional to help you. Better to not do it all, then to do it poorly.” I will also add, “Do not put all your social media eggs in one basket.

Diversify your portfolio.”

their “personal FB page” to constantly “sell”. This is a huge mistake that can get you blocked, your profile hidden or even jeopardize otherwise healthy social media relationships. In order to avoid these potentially brand-damaging mistakes, consider keeping business off your personal page and moving it into a business Facebook page. Also, business pages are not like the old days, where someone had to be a fan to see your content. So, success isn’t just measured by the number of likes, but also by interactions and engagement.

Often times, small business owners are so excited about their new business venture, blog or opportunity, that they simply use Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

Before consider setting up a “Facebook business page,” make some plans and

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incorporate a needs assessment by considering the following:

If you’ve done the assessment and have decided that you want to proceed with establishing a Facebook page independently, or with the guidance and help of a professional, here are 10 tips that should help you:

1. What are your business goals for Facebook?

2. Can you keep up with your personal Facebook and also manage a business page?

1. Do not attach you Twitter account to your Facebook feed.

3. How many times a week do you truly believe you will update it?

They are two completely different audiences. Consider using a service such as Hootsuite to help you accomplish these goals better.

4. Does your industry provide you with good content to share?

2. It is against Facebook Terms of Service to have a personal Facebook page called “Widget Company.”

5. Do you truly think the time and effort you will place on Facebook will give you a return on investment?

Your personal page is a real person not a company and Facebook pages are for businesses. Keep them separate.

6. Do you enjoy social media or is it like pulling teeth? If you do not enjoy it, that may be reflected in your tone and attitude.

3. Whoever created the Facebook page is the person who has ownership of it and can delete it.

7. Do you currently have or can you get a team together to help you?

Own it! If you don’t own it, make sure you have administrative privileges.

8. How will you measure your effectiveness?

4. Make sure your page is in the correct category.

9. Do you have a professionally created Facebook cover photo and avatar to match/compliment your logo and brand?

a. local business or place b. company, organization or institution c. brand or product d. artist, band or public figure e. entertainment f. cause or community

10. Is your website set up to properly receive a “call to action” from your FB page?

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5. Have the proper graphics.

information in your insights.

Here are the current dimensions for the variety of graphics that can be used for your FB page:

9. Network with other blogs!

Consider networked blogs for getting your blog posts on your Facebook page.

a. Cover photo: 851 pixels wide by 315 pixels tall. Make room for the avatar.

If you use a smaller picture, it will stretch it and look wonky. b. Profile picture: 180 x 180 pixels c. Timeline graphic: 403 x 403 pixels

10. Diversify your content.

Do not be, “Marsha Marsha Marsha” on your Facebook by constantly selling or promoting your products and services. If you see another Facebook page with great content—share it!

6. Use a Vanity URL. You can go from an address followed by a number to facebook.com/ awesomemilspouse with the click of a button. Some things to keep in mind: you only have ONE shot to do this correctly and you must have at least 25 likes to be eligible. Make sure your vanity URL mirrors your existing brand. Consistent branding is very important.

Good Luck!

Greta Perry has a career born of her love of new media and intuitive use of technology. Her intent is to provide professional on-line development services to businesses of all sizes. These services will enable those businesses to have the basic tools and training to become truly competitive in the on-line world. Greta’s background makes her superbly qualified to provide what any business interested in developing their on-line presence requires. During her many moves around the U.S as a military wife, she became a professional volunteer.

7. Know Facebook Contests & Promotions.

These rules are constantly changing! I always err on the side of caution, even when business owners feel there is no harm in bending the rules a bit. If you really want to have a contest or promotion —do it right and read Facebook’s current rules.

8. Learn from Insights & Statististics.

Insights and statistics are very useful and help you get a true feel for your fan base works. Try mixing it up based on the Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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MEET

Rosye Cloud Photo Credit: Trish-Alegre-Smith of So

Your Life Images

We’re pleased to debut a new feature of our NMSN magazine: People Who Inspire. Every issue, we’ll introduce you to a military spouse (married to either a currently serving, retired or veteran servicemember) who is doing great things in their chosen career path.

ROSYE’S BIOGRAPHY Rosye B. Cloud was appointed on July 28, 2013 as the Senior Advisor for Veteran Employment at the Department of Veterans Affairs. Her mission is to increase meaningful employment opportunities and professional mobility of Veterans and their family members. Prior to her appointment to the VA, Ms. Cloud served as the White House Policy Director for Veterans, Wounded Warriors, and Military Families. As part of the National Security and Domestic Policy Council team, she directed policy formulation for issues affecting Veteran health, wellness, education and employment. She has

This time around, we’re pleased to introduce you to Ms. Rosye B. Cloud who serves as the Senior Advisor, Veteran Employment, Veterans Benefits Administration.

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almost two decades of experience in both private and federal sector, and in particular the Department of the Army. Ms Cloud worked in various Army organizations in areas of social service, strategy and businesstransformation. Ms. Cloud credits her early experiences as a military spouse as an influential and critical period of her life that has led to her personal commitment in supporting economic opportunities for military spouses.

Ms. Cloud holds graduate degrees and executive post graduate certificates in business, human relations, organizational development, innovation, and corporate strategy from the Harvard Business School, UVA Darden Business School, MIT Sloan, and the University of Oklahoma.

hope my career experiences can in some way help military spouses who are facing professional crossroads or thinking about new tactics to help achieve their personal goals. Our military spouses have a history of being gritty and strong. They tackle hard problem with their eyes wide open.

They are a unique talent pipeline that can be overlooked at times but should never be underestimated. They are ready to overcome any obstacle in front of them and help our businesses prosper.

My expereince as a military spouse has probably influenced me most throughout my career.

IN HER OWN WORDS I never dreamed that my decision to accept a position with the Army in my early twenties would be the beginning of a long career. Even after twenty years I still feel a strong sense of purpose and pride in what I do. I love what I do today at the Department of Veterans Affairs and I can also say the same about each and every assignment I’ve ever had.

That said, military spouses are keenly aware of the career mobility challenges they will face. Over the last few decades I have seen policy and programs evolve reflect the more modern needs of military families. We’ve come a long way but there is more work to do. There is an inherent friction that is created when you aren’t able to influence when you move or where. In the mid 90s, I personally didn’t feel like my professional goals (as a military spouse) were part of the national

It’s hard not to get excited about our country, our Veterans and our amazing military. The Army’s investment in me over the years led to unique career broadening opportunities, including my participation in a senior fellowship program that led to an assignment at the White House and eventual transition to the Department of Veterans Affairs. I Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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narrative like it is today. Careers for spouses overseas and CONUS were often limited to part-time employment, and any concern I raised about career mobility was often met with a simple response: “Aren’t you lucky to be able to earn a little extra money?” I was dismayed at times but like most spouses I dedicated my energy on solving my problem. I wanted to contribute and add value. I was engaged in my community and volunteered heavily with the Family Readiness Groups, but that wasn’t totally fulfilling. Eventually, I learned about competitive employment in the federal government. I wanted career mobility and I loved the Army, I decided to pursue a federal career. I volunteered full time in the organization I wanted to work in. I volunteered full time for over a year. It was a very personal decision and some thought “too heavy of a load”, but it allowed me an opportunity to get direct experience and learn about upcoming openings. Because I was there full time I received projects other volunteers didn’t.

I was able to manage a full caseload and integrate into the center more quickly.

got over it and started looking into the new duty station. I was going to the new duty station with fresh work experience and references. It took about six months but eventually I was hired in the new duty station. Success! I was lucky most say. True. You can’t guarantee a job will happen. True again. A job was never guaranteed but my direct work experience obtained through volunteer service was hands down the deciding factor. On the job training opportunities (volunteer time) can be a force multiplier.

LESSONS LEARNED AS AN ARMY SPOUSE During this same time, I was fortunate to meet some amazing military spouses who became mentors and sponsors.

One spouse took me under her wing and challenged me to relentlessly pursue education and encouraged me to think about my career aspirations. Her husband was getting ready to retire after a very successful Army career, but she shared with me that she’d never finished her own college degree or pursued work outside the home—all because of a heavy burden of guilt that she wouldn’t be able to support her family. She felt like she was only now, in her late fifties, beginning to find her voice, and she didn’t want me

Before my year was up the director wanted to hire me but (as is often the case) we got orders to move overseas. I was devastated. It took a few days but I

Celebrate those around you who succeed.

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to fall into the same trap. At the time, I was in my early twenties and seriously considering putting off graduate school.

My husband at the time was on long-term temporary duty and I was home alone in Belgium. Thanks to her, I didn’t put off graduate school. Her willingness to share her story and the raw feelings that remained after a lifetime of dedication to her family and the Army stuck with me. She loved her family fiercely but was also willing to share with me her honest perspective. It was her mentorship in Belgium (so many miles away from my own family) that gave me the nudge (or maybe it was shove) to think big. It’s not surprising that a military spouse would be helping another military spouse find her way. She did just that. I hope my insights below can be of some help to military spouses who are facing tough choices of their own.

bell rings at 0900, my team huddles are Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and we always spend holidays with our extended family. It’s the other 25% that I need to constantly prioritize, but every week I get a redo and an opportunity to try something new. Some weeks, I focus on home projects during my free time or simply hanging out with friends.

Professionally, I make sure to set clear goals for my week. Like most of my peers, I scan my email first thing in the mornings, even on weekends (an unfortunate reality I will fess up to), before I read the paper or check out the news. Unless it’s urgent, I leave it until Sunday evening. I find that it’s easier to start fresh on Monday when I have an action plan for the week and my inbox is cleared and ready to go.

2. Take time to check in and recognize the contributions of others.

What advice would you give folks seeking to balance work and home?

My days are always pretty packed, so I know that I have to deliberately build in time with the principal and teachers on a regular basis. I set aside hours of annual leave every year to make sure I can protect the time to join my son for lunch or support a school volunteer activity during the day. In particular, I make sure to get to know and appreciate the classroom parents who take the time to roll up their sleeves and work with the kids (my kid!) during the class day while I am in the office. As a mom who chooses to work outside of the home, I feel that it’s important to recognize the tremendous contributions that other parents are

1. Seeking Work-Life Balance (Hint: No such thing).

It’s all about figuring out what comes in first place at any given time. I’d never make it at the circus as a juggler: I don’t do well keeping lots of things in the air for long periods of time and doing them all equally well. I focus on prioritization and action. Keeping track of my monthly calendar, with chores, school and soccer activities, work deliverables, and travel schedules, is essential. 75% of our family life is on a consistent schedule. The school Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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making in our schools and communities every day. It’s not an “us” versus “them” situation. If we don’t recognize the value of both stay-at-home spouses and working parents, we close the doors of opportunity for both. There’s enormous value in both and in the ability to switch back and forth.

first. It helps when engaging in open and honest communication to have clarity of purpose.

4. Have a good mix of Mentors and Sponsors.

Mentors and sponsors are different, so make sure you have a healthy balance of both. Sponsors will open doors and help you get out there. Mentors will be closely focused on talking to listening and offering advice to support your professional development. Ideally, your mentors and sponsors will be outside of your immediate workplace or network, which helps provide a valuable outside perspective.

Take the time to send news articles or information your mentor or sponsor find interesting. Grow the relationship over time. Interestingly enough, most mentors or sponsors will learn as much from you as you will from them.

3. Be honest and specific with your life goals (Find your voice).

There are many paths to being a good citizen, spouse, parent and professional.

I have found it helpful to take time to find my “voice” before creating goals or making big decisions.

A mentor of mine sat me down many years ago and asked me to draw ten boxes on a sheet of paper, with each box representing 10 years of my life. I had to cross out the boxes I had already lived and then cross out the boxes that there was much less certainty around: 80s, 90s, etc. There weren’t many boxes left. Ouch!

Then I was challenged to fill in the boxes with whatever I wanted to contribute, learn or experience in each decade. It gives clarity personal priorities and helps me find my “voice”. I use this technique with anyone I am fortunate enough to mentor.

It’s important to be deliberate and realistic about who you are, what matters to you and where you want to go. There’s no wrong answer. It’s essential to look inward and find out where your mind and heart align. You can do this exercise over and over again by taking on new perspectives, like family or marriage, but I believe that you should define your strategic goals Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

5. Celebrate those around you who succeed.

I learned this lesson early on in my career and was reminded of it while working at the White House. If you’re lucky, you will find yourself surrounded by brilliantly awesome people. They will open up your world view and make you better. You will be smarter and wiser for knowing them. Don’t see it as your personal failure when others around you are successful or wickedly smart: See it as a positive because they must value what you bring to the table, too. Celebrate them and learn from them… often folks spend more time 42

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finding fault with folks that are “outliers” instead of lifting them up. Ultimately, it’s important to remember that you define your own success. That’s why you set goals and work towards achieving them.

It’s your race to run.

at a new opportunity. Eventually, I was hired full-time, and some say I was the youngest director to hold that position in government. My motto back then was “Whatever it takes.” I still like the saying and keep the motto handy when facing tough tasks.

6. Take big risks early on so you can be deliberate with opportunities later.

7. Get uncomfortable often.

When I started working the message was clear: mobility in the federal government takes a long time. Professionals in the field can hold the same jobs for decades.

The alternative to that model is to take out-of-the-box assignments, move horizontally into new positions, and be willing to move or travel for a promotion.

I did just that. I’ve always been willing to move horizontally for a new project or assignment that exposes me to different business operations because it’s the best OJT you can get outside of your career field. I took details outside of my organization without any guarantee of promotion. Those are risky but critical moves if you want to expand your network and professional worldview.

Leaving your comfort zone behind is one of the best ways to grow. When you feel like you’ve done it all and you’re the expert, it’s time to get uncomfortable and try something new. Let others come in, fill the space, and be willing to take on a new tough project or job because that keeps high potential moving.

8. Network with authenticity and purpose (it’s not speed dating).

Be honest and authentic about meeting new people and take the time to know them. Networking is a two way street: both parties sharing and learning from each other. If you’re shy or an introvert doesn’t despair there are wonderful social media platforms like LinkedIn that can help you getting started. At the end of the day, it should be a natural extension of your professional ecosystem.

In my case, a fellowship opportunity led to my assignment at OMB and later to a policy director position at the White House. When I was in my early twenties, I was working for the Army and living in Mons, Belgium. I wanted to run my own social service center, but the only opportunity nearby was in Brussels, Belgium. I asked for the chance to show my stuff and commuted every day. No extra pay, no travel expenses—just a shot Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

9. Be informed and stay current.

For me, this translates into getting up early and scanning news clippings on my iPad that reflect policy issues of interest, my home town, local news, and the state of the general economy. I try to balance

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my reading list with work-related material in equal measure to fun reading. I usually have several books in progress at any given time. In DC there is almost always a seminar or panel taking place (often at no cost to participants) in subject areas I care about. I try to attend whenever possible, and if I can’t make it I check online for a webcast. I also take advantage of professional development and education from leading institutions who post amazing online material— create your own continuing education program.

away from bad situations, both in business and life. It will take a lot of rocks out of your rucksack when you do.

12. Mom hack: no rules, no curfew (#NRNC).

I have a special time with my son called “no rules, no curfew.” It’s our time, and there’s nothing about it that is ever preplanned or rushed. We throw the typical rules out the window (within good reason, anyway). We go on a road trip just to walk the wharf, head out to see a hockey game or simply stay home to cook and watch funny movies together. It’s not too different from things we do together as a family, but just making it one-on-one time without “rules or curfew” makes it ours. My husband and son have their own #NRNC days too. Printing a hardbound annual picture book of these memories has become a tradition. When I am busy and rushing around, it’s easy to forget that the little stuff is actually the big stuff. My guys are the “big stuff” in my life.

10. Take control of your career pathway.

I am a big believer in delayed gratification.

I volunteered and took assignments that were career-broadening because I was in for the long game. Know your long game.

Take control of the path. You control more than you may believe or feel. If you don’t see the pathways then it is time to bring in reinforcements like mentors, sponsors, friends, community resources and trusted colleagues.

11. Don’t be afraid to break up with a job or a person that isn’t good for you.

This is the hardest one, but it’s probably the most important. Don’t invest time and emotional energy in people or jobs that are toxic or bad for you. They drain your spirit and prevent you from seeking positive opportunities. I think this activity is hard, especially because most of us are taught being friends with everyone is part of being “good.” A rite of passage for most of us is learning how to effectively walk Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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MEET

THE

EXPERTS

SUE HOPPIN Sue Hoppin is the founder and president of the National Military Spouse Network, a consultant on military family issues and the co-author of, “A Family’s Guide to the Military for Dummies”.

Before founding the NMSN, Sue served as the first deputy director for spouse outreach for a military affiliated non-profit with a 375,000+ membership. She is a recognized subject matter expert on military spouse and family issues and has spoken to audiences nationwide ranging from installation career events to leadership training sessions and national conferences.

She holds a bachelor’s degree in international studies from the University of Denver, a master’s degree in international relations from the University of Oklahoma and an executive post graduate certificate in nonprofit management from Georgetown University.

CAROL BOWSER Carol Bowser is the president of Conflict Management Strategies Inc. and is an expert in workplace conflict --what creates it and how to resolve it. While she HATES arguments, she loves maintaining sanity and increasing production by jumping into conflict to fully resolve it. “…What I really like is listening to people’s stories and working outside the legal system to repair workplace relationships…” She received her law degree from Seattle University School of Law and her Mediation Training through Pierce County Center for Dispute Resolution.

Carol is a speaker, trainer, and consultant for employers on how to avoid workplace conflict.

Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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CAROL FISHMAN COHEN Carol Fishman Cohen is a globally recognized expert on careerreentry strategy. She is the co-author of the “Bible of career reentry”, “Back on the Career Track: A Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms Who Want to Return to Work” and the co-founder of iRelaunch, a company connecting professionals returning to work after a career break with employers interested in this talent pool. Carol has studied and written about military spouse career continuity issues since 2008.Check out iRelaunch.com for tools and resources for returning to work, and note the special section for military spouses.

JANET FARLEY Janet Farley offers military service members and their families her own brand of straight-forward career management and job search advice. Janet is the author of the Military-to-Civilian Career Transition Guide, 2nd Edition, the Military Spouse’s Complete Guide to Career Success and she writes the JobTalk column for Stars and Stripes Newspaper. She is also the Home Front columnist for the Military Officers Association of America (MoAA) and contributing editor to Bradley-Morris, Inc.,’s Civilian Job News.

JOYCE NEAVE Joyce Neave is an authority on fashion and style. As founder of That Mom, Inc. Joyce has been “Styling” for over twenty years. Her many accolades include: Style Setter by Washington Post, Ten Well Dressed Women in Washington by Washingtonian Magazine, Profiled on WUSA9 News to highlight her wardrobe consulting practice as well as her forward thinking blog. Joyce is a consultant for several newspapers and blogs. “…I am a wardrobe consultant and personal shopper who specializes in helping moms find their stylized potential. Whether playdates, PowerPoints or date night, That Mom, Inc. has you covered…”

Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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GRETA PERRY Greta Perry has a career born of her love of new media and intuitive use of technology. Her intent is to provide professional on-line development services to businesses of all sizes. These services will enable those businesses to have the basic tools and training to become truly competitive in the on-line world.

Greta’s background makes her superbly qualified to provide what any business interested in developing their on-line presence requires. During her many moves around the U.S as a military wife, she became a professional volunteer.

AMY SCHOFIELD Amy Schofield ACWR has been in the recruiting, career coaching, and resume writing fields for 10+ years. She has provided resume development strategies to job seekers worldwide with various backgrounds and experience levels.

In April 2011, Amy launched Schofield Strategies. She has appeared in numerous media sources delivering resume tips, including GI Jobs, Business Talk Radio, Reserve and National Guard Magazine, Army Wife Talk Radio, and Blue Star Families.

Schofield Strategies was the recipient of the 2013 Military Family Member Community Heartbeat Award and the elite Academy Certified Resume Writer credential.

Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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KRISTA WELLS Krista Wells Ph.D., The Military Spouse Coach ®, loves helping military spouses who are ready for change, create careers they feel passionate about, and find life fulfillment. Krista specializes in working with military spouses because it is a topic close to her heart. In addition to being married to a Marine herself, she has worked with hundreds of military spouses through her volunteer work and training. As a personal and career coach, Krista has advised girlfriends of military enlistees, active duty wives, and reserve spouses who don’t have easy access to support services. She works with stay-at- home mothers, job seekers, career changers, those who want to position themselves for a career in the future.

MATT ZEMON As President & CEO of American Support, Matt Zemon brings over 20 years of operations, billing and customer service experience. American Support is the nation’s only complete provider of back-office services to the telecommunications industry, supporting our country by providing an alternative to offshore labor. Matt has been named one of Triangle Business Journal’s 40 under 40 while American Support is included in CableFax’s “Top 10 places in the cable industry to work” and WorldBlu’s “Most Democratic Organizations”.

Visit us online at http://nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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