NMSN Magazine Fall 2022

Sue Hoppin Founder & President National Military Spouse Network

President’s Letter

Bridging the Gaps

Passion to make a difference and providing access to opportunities for military spouses drives much of what we do at the National Military Spouse Network (NMSN). That involves educating people in the civilian community, identifying the gaps and opportunities that, if addressed, would move the needle on spouse employment and shining a light on the challenges faced by segments of our military spouse community. We could not do any of this without the cadre of military spouses and allies who share their insights and expertise to inform our actions and efforts. This issue of the magazine is a prime example of this. In these pages, you’ll read stories of military spouses doing extraordinary work to support and represent their communities. You’ll also hear from our NMSN experts about the issues everyone is talking about.

Military spouse employment has been at the forefront of legislative efforts for a decade and NMSN has been there every step of the way. Scores of military spouse volunteers have participated in our Day of Advocacy, sharing their individual experiences with leaders who inform legislative change. One area of legislative change that NMSN has spearheaded is the expansion of the Work Opportunity Tax Credit (WOTC) to include military spouses. This legislation, known as the Military Spouse Hiring Act, currently has 271 cosponsors in the House (H.R. 2974) and 47 cosponsors in the Senate (S. 3909) with more being added all the time. You can follow the progress at congress.gov. While you’re there, check to see if your legislators have already signed on.

Because it is universally popular and has received bipartisan congressional support, there’s a very good chance that the WOTC expansion will be included in an end-of-year package. Legislation such as this helps us bridge the gaps:

• The Military-civilian divide may keep employers from understanding why the military spouse unemployment rate is so high when the national rate is at an alltime low

• A Knowledge gap exists between Capitol Hill and our military community. The number of congressional members who have served in the military has been on a steady decline since the ‘70s and is at its lowest since WWII.

If we’re lucky enough the stars align, and the WOTC expansion is passed, we’ll still have to address the knowledge gap during the implementation phase. The article written by Janet Farley (found on page 20) does a great job describing what the WOTC means for targeted groups and what it could potentially mean for you. The work is never done and we’re privileged to be part of the process. Next year marks the five-year anniversary of our groundbreaking White Papers and will kick off continued efforts to bridge these gaps. As we close out 2022, I wanted to take the time to thank you all for being a part of our community. We couldn’t do what we do without your support.

Yours in the effort,

DO MILITARY SPOUSES PERFORM MORE NON-PROMOTABLE WORK THAN OUR CIVILIAN PEERS?

BY JENNIFER BARNHILL, EDITOR IN CHIEF NMSN MAGAZINE

Iwas sitting at my desk, surrounded by work literally piling up around me, likely with a phone to my ear when I was confronted with an empty coffee pot. I didn’t want coffee. I had made the first pot and had my requisite two cups. I was being asked to make another pot by my male coworker. We were both busy, but he expected me to make coffee for him and his students. I can’t remember if I ended up making the coffee or not. But I remember his expectation.

If you, like me, are one of the 92% of female military spouses you may have experienced something similar in the workplace. The expectation that you perform a glamour-less duty is something we expect as new hires or qualified employees taking jobs that are beneath our professional qualifications. But what if I were to tell you that we, as women, are more likely to perform work that will not lead to promotion as compared to your male coworkers?

Our community spends a lot of time talking about military spouse employment without acknowledging the gendered elephant in the room, women face greater employment challenges than men and these experiences are simply exacerbated by our military-connected status.

What Is a Non-promotable Task (NPT)?

In our office, making coffee was an essential task. However essential, this task fell into the category of a non-promotable task or an NPT. The concept of NPTs research was introduced in an article in the Harvard Business Review and further developed in The No Club - Putting a Stop to Women’s Dead-End Work featuring studies by economists

Linda Babcok, Lise Vesterlund and Maria Recalde. They define an NPT as a duty that is not seen as furthering the mission of the organization. However, these NPTs are often essential to the business.

Editor-in-Chief Jennifer Barnhill and NMSN founder, Sue Hoppin, met to brainstorm future magazine issues

In a series of experiments, they determined that women were 48% more likely to volunteer for NPTs than men. And that they were expected to volunteer for NPTs, by both men and women.

But really, what is an NPT?

Making coffee for students contributed to the overall experience at our organization. It was a service that if it went undone would have been noticed. But the duty itself did not require specialized skill and no one was monitoring the duty when it came to promotion time. This can be contrasted with my role as Training Manager. I was responsible for scheduling instructors for courses and working with Project Managers in the field to offer training courses on the road or in our office. This duty required specialized skills and knowledge and it was this duty that was recognized during annual reviews. Tending the coffee pot was not.

Tending the coffee pot took time and efficiency from my promotable tasks. It was not listed on my job description. So why did my male colleague ask me to make coffee? His bottom line was doing his highly skilled and visible work. I was too, but because he saw his job as more vital to the company bottom line, he thought his skills and time were more valuable than my own.

And he is not alone. Research tells him asking a woman to perform an NPT is a wise choice for three reasons:

1. I’m more likely to say yes to NPTs because I’m a woman

2. It’s the expectation that women will say yes

3.Women experience negative consequences when we say no

Are You Performing NPTs?

Here are some questions to ask yourself if you are unsure if you are performing:

What mission does your organization measure, monitor & monetize?

This is not as straightforward as reading the company’s mission statement. In business what is measured counts, what isn’t measured doesn’t. A good example of this is military spouse volunteerism. While volunteering your time to

host a command holiday party may boost morale, contributing to overall retention and readiness, it is unpaid labor that often goes unrecognized.

Your company’s mission may be to serve your clients, but individual, non-specialized tasks may not be seen as essential to this mission, think group work, behind the scenes planning, etc. Once you determine the real mission of your company, make a list of all your duties and you ask yourself the following questions:

1. Does this task contribute to the front and center mission?

2. Will my performance be measured based on this task?

3.Will the successful accomplishment of this task be factored into the decision to offer me a promotion?

If you answered no to most of your duties, you are likely not doing work that leads to promotion.

That is not to say that the low-level tasks you do today won’t inadvertently lead to promotion, it is just that research tells us it is highly unlikely.

How NPTs Impact Military Spouses

Every industry has NPTs. Even our individual households have them–aka the work we do as military spouses while our service members deploy. They are essential to the functioning of any unit/business. And just as it is essential for our sanity that our spouses come home deployment and pick up their share of the household labor, this work must be done, and it must be shared.

This involves recognizing NPTs and redistributing them more evenly across the business.

While it is unclear if we perform more NPTs than our civilian counterparts, it is highly likely due to the demographic makeup of our population. We are 92% female, and we are the new employee every two to three years. When it comes to our “military spouse NPTs”, like running a household alone during deployments or volunteering with a command to boost morale, the solution of redistributing these tasks is not straightforward.

In 2021 I had the honor of interviewing the author of the HBR article Maria Recalde and shared some NPTs performed by military spouses. “It's easy to think about solutions to this type of problem once you have kind of an institutional change, or a boss that can change things around, but you don't have that,” said Recalde. “Half of the family [spouses and children] is not included in the rules.” Solutions to this uneven distribution with our household NPTs must be recognized before they can be redistributed.

Jennifer Barnhill is a freelance writer with a focus on military family advocacy, Navy spouse and mother of three. Jennifer is currently writes a column for Military. com covering military family topics. Her reporting has also been featured in The War Horse , We Are the Mighty, Military Spouse Magazine, Military Families Magazine and TheMilitaryWallet.com . She is the Chief Operating Officer of Partners in PROMISE and serves on both the National Military Spouse Network Day of Advocacy and The League of Wives Memorial Project Committees

Getting Back to Business

BY JANET FARLEY, ED.M.

Life happens:

• We PCS somewhere new.

• We can’t find or maintain childcare.

• We go back to school.

• We need a mental break.

• We want to devote time to parenting or caregiving.

• Our previous job was affected by COVID.

And when it does, we sometimes step out of the workforce to (Fill in the blank)

If, and when we decide to return to the workforce, finding a good job can be challenging. Our skills may be rusty. We may not be sure where to start again. We may not want to do what we did before. The following tips can help you get back to business after an extended break.

Focus Your Career Path

Before you blindly fall down the LinkedIn Jobs or Indeed blackhole and start applying for everything, pause. Deeply think about these questions:

• What is your motivation for returning to work?

• What specific job or industry do you want to target?

• What do you want work to look like for you on the daily?

• What kind of salary do you wish or need to earn?

• When do you ideally want this job to begin?

If the answers aren’t coming to you easily, then invest some additional time in self-assessment. Work with a career coach like the free ones offered by SECO Career Coaching Services . You can also try winging it yourself with good–and free– tools, like 16 Personalities .

Review & Revise Your Resume

Once you have established a career focus for yourself, it’s time to give your resume focus, too. At a minimum, you should have a version of your resume that can be easily adapted to specific job opportunities.

If you are changing career gears completely, consider using a combination format resume that highlights your skills and abilities over your timeline. This format is also helpful if you have a significant gap in employment.

If you are staying in the same career field you worked in before, a chronological resume might work. If you can plug the gaps by including volunteer gigs, all the better. If not, don’t stress too much. Gaps in employment don’t carry the same negative connotation that they once did.

Finally, if you are targeting a job in the federal government, realize you need a whole other type of resume that is targeted to your vacancy announcement of choice.

Identify Your Support Team

You could find your next job all on your own, but why? There are many resources out there to assist you, take advantage of them.

• Military community services employment centers

• Military OneSource Spouse Education & Career Opportunities

• Local community workforce development centers

• Local temp agencies – assignments could lead to permanent jobs with employers

• Hire Heroes USA

• Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Fellowship Program

Revitalize Your Networking

Revitalizing your network goes hand in hand with identifying your support team. You will, of course, be networking with your team, but you’ll also want to network with others, online and in-person. You can do that in places like this:

• National Military Spouse Network (NSMN) –where you so smartly are now

• Information interviews that you set up to learn more about specific jobs

• Meetups/mixers in your local community

• Seminars, lectures and/or conferences in your industry of choice

• Local professional associations that resonate with your goals

• Military-affiliated nonprofits in your community –as well as non-military ones!

Strategically Volunteer

Although volunteerism is not your goal, never underestimate the power of volunteering in a job you want to do. If you are financially able to volunteer, this opportunity places you right where you want to be and offers you invaluable exposure to others who can further assist your goals.

If you land such an opportunity, treat it just as seriously as you would a paying job. Make sure you add it to your resume as well. If you are battling the time gap dilemma on your resume, a volunteer job can help to close gaps quickly while affording you the opportunity to update your skills.

Look for volunteer jobs:

• In your ideal industry or employer who you would like to be hired by

• Through your local community chamber of commerce or military family center

• Through mainstream job sites like Indeed.com and LinkedIn Jobs

• Through dedicated volunteer job boards like Volunteer Match , Catchafire or Idealist

• Military-focused nonprofits

Persevere

Getting back to the business of work after an extended break can take time. Exactly how long can differ depending on your goals and available opportunities. Expect your search to last anywhere from three to six months, conservatively.

It may sound a bit cliché, but you need to make finding a job your job for the time being. Dedicate consistent hours daily to the task of applying for jobs and networking.

Keeping a good attitude through any rejection or ghosting is key to sticking it out long enough to land your ideal job.

Janet Farley, Ed.M., CPRW, CFJST, CFCC is a career coach,a professional resume writer and the author of ten career/life advice guides, most recently Mission Transition: Managing Your Career and Your Retirement (Rowman & Littlefield, 2018) and Military Life 101: Basic Training for New Military Families (Rowman & Littlefield, 2016). A proud spouse of an Army veteran and a dedicated advocate for all those who have served in uniform and for those who have given their hearts to them, she offers straightforward career management and job search advice based on more than twenty-five years of experience working in employment services across multiple industries stateside and abroad. She holds a Master’s Degree in Human Services and Human Resource Education from Boston University and is a Certified Professional Resume Writer (PARWCC), Federal Job Search Coach and Career Coach. Farley is also a graduate of Skillfull’s Colorado Governor’s Coaching Corps and currently resides in Colorado Springs, Colorado with her family. Reach her at www. linkedin.com/in/janetfarley

Military Spouse Ambassadors

BY SHELBY KEARNS

Because they have one foot in the civilian world and one foot in the military community, military spouses experience the challenges of the military family lifestyle and working for a civilian employer. For this reason, military spouses have the opportunity to serve as ambassadors for positive change within the Department of Defense (DOD) and their civilian workplaces.

Within the DOD, individual military spouses and military spouse-run organizations advocate for military families so our service members can serve our country knowing their families are well-cared for while they are far from home. These military spouse advocates ask the DOD to continue its work in recognizing challenges in spouses’ financial security, ability to find–and keep–employment commensurate with their education and licensing and balancing work and caregiving.

Within civilian workplaces, military spouses are acutely aware of the importance of being flexible. They know all too well that their professional lives cannot thrive without taking care of their personal lives. Armed with this knowledge, they advocate for policies that make a work-life balance closer to reality, from affordable childcare to longer paternity leave.

Whether they’re meeting with their congressional representatives, sharing experiences on social media or running for office, these military spouse ambassadors show that advocacy takes many forms.

Meredith Reed

One challenge addressed by military spouse ambassadors is ensuring that the actions of their workplaces reflect their stated values. In other words, how can civilian employers demonstrate their commitment to hiring military spouses?

Meredith Reed is an Air Force veteran and military spouse, a licensed realtor with past positions in project management, consulting and communications. From her diverse work experience, she knows how businesses and organizations can support spouses in both their words and actions.

According to Reed, businesses wanting to attract and retain military spouses can demonstrate this commitment during the interview process. She shared that there are ways to have conversations about

Meredith is pictured with her family (from left to right), William, Ailsa, Meredith, Brad, Anna and James.

skills and experience and avoid asking questions like, “When will you move?”. While military spouses often have to explain gaps on their resumes, no candidate should have to explain the caregiving, military PCS moves, or any other personal circumstances that led to spending time away from the workforce.

Reed has advocated changing the work culture and the policies that impact working families. Her volunteer roles include serving on the board of the Military Officers Association of America (MOAA) and the League of Women Voters. After years of supporting local candidates running for office, she decided to take her advocacy up a notch by running for the Park City School Board in Utah.

Because of Reed’s experience engaging various stakeholders, she knows that work-life balance occurs at work and home. Military spouses serve as ambassadors, bridging the gap between the office and home and the military and civilian worlds.

She described how, like businesses and organizations, the service member and his or her command can demonstrate that they value military spouses.

“If you do have a family, it’s your job to say, ‘okay, I’m going to have to figure this out, but I’m not going to put it all on you,’” Reed said. “The reality for the military is that we have families. And retaining service members means retaining families.” While this is a vital concept for the military community it is also an important lesson for the civilian workforce.

Nicole Park

A key part of advocacy is sharing stories. These stories are used by legislature, the DOD and other stakeholders to truly understand the challenges of the military family lifestyle. One of these spouse ambassadors, Nicole Park , shares her experiences through her YouTube channel, Nicole’s Vlog which has over 40,000 subscribers.

gives subscribers a glimpse into the military family lifestyle.

“A lot of my subscribers are from Korea,” Park said. “I get a lot of messages from Korean military spouses, and we talk about how difficult living as a military spouse is.” Many of her videos are a day in the life of a military spouse and feature her son, who recently turned two. Park plans on growing her YouTube channel and seeking work once her son begins attending kindergarten.

Vlogger and miliary spouse

Nicole Park is bridging the gap by sharing her story.

Nicole Park met her husband when he was stationed in Korea. After they married and she moved to the U.S. Park didn’t have the stereotypical experience of joining a large community on a military installation.

“Our first duty station was in South Dakota because he was an ROTC instructor,” Park said. “The town we were living in had only 11,000 people, so it was just hard to meet people my age.”

In addition to living in a rural and unfamiliar community, Park dealt with other challenges, including starting a Master of Business Administration (MBA) program and PCSing to Fort Bragg, North Carolina, during her pregnancy. She addresses these challenges on her YouTube channel, which

Park’s experiences reflect common challenges for military spouses: having difficulty finding a job that fits the skills she acquired with her MBA and because she lives far from family, she cannot rely on them to help with childcare. Additionally, Park’s Korean citizenship prevents her from applying to government jobs

Park with her husband, Jeremy and toddler, Logan.

that have military spouse hiring preferences.

As a military spouse ambassador, Park shares her story so that spouses facing similar challenges can learn from her experiences. “When I first moved to the U.S., I was really frustrated. Talking to other spouses going through the same thing was really comforting,” Park said. “So, I’m like, ‘okay, I’m not just doing this for me.’ I’m making a positive impact on some people.”

Dawn Gile

Attorney and military spouse herself, Dawn Gile knows the importance of happy families to a service member’s career. Happy families aren't just about smiling faces, but a lifestyle that allows them to thrive and pursue career fulfillment, which is integral to national security. Gile recognizes

that policies benefiting working families doubly impact military spouses.

As former president of the Military Spouse JD Network , Gile is especially passionate about policies impacting professional licensing. “When you give those licensing accommodations to military spouses, you benefit military spouses and recognize the sacrifice and service that they give in defense of our country,” Gile said. “You also alleviate labor shortages by adding qualified individuals to the workforce.”

Other policy priorities for Gile include a national paid family leave program. “It’s something that Maryland was able to pass last session,” Gile said. “The paid family leave program joins a handful of other states. It’s applicable for traditional uses like maternity leave but is also leave

you can take for a certain limited time period while your service member is deployed.”

In addition to her advocacy on policy issues, Gile serves as a military spouse ambassador by working with other militaryserving programs. In her role at Military Spouse JD Network, she was involved in providing pro bono legal work to Gold Star Families and she currently serves as the secretary of Vigilant Torch Association and Foundation , a non-profit that provides scholarships, funeral and memorial expenses and other forms of support to the Special Operations community.

Like Reed, Gile is taking her advocacy a step further by running for office. Gile won her primary for the Maryland Senate and, as she prepares for the general election, has shared legislative priorities that include environmental protection, investing in education and affordable, quality childcare. If elected, Gile will also serve as a military spouse ambassador within the legislature.

“At some point, advocacy can only go so far,” Gile said. “Really, to make impactful change, we need military spouses in office to be those decision-makers.”

Gile said. “Really,

Dawn Gile with her family, including spouse SGM (ret.) Daniel J. Gile and daughters Addison, Betty and Lucy.

“At some point, advocacy can only go so far,”

to make impactful change, we need military spouses in office to be those decision-makers.”

Janet Sanchez

Janet Sanchez is an Army retired military spouse, a military mother and a veteran. She is also the founder of Esposas Militares Hispanas USA Armed Forces, a volunteer-run nonprofit that helps and supports military and veteran families with language barriers. Her organization reaches over 50,000 members.

“Military spouses play an enormous part in bridging the civilian-military gap, even though they don't wear the uniform or hold a rank,” Sanchez said. “While representation of both sides occurs simultaneously, it is not an easy task. While we

have support in the community, there can be times when we are judged by our title of military spouse. Educating the communities would be the first step in expressing the potential military spouses have in building, changing and developing a community.”

Like many leaders before her, Sanchez does not see herself as an ambassador, but rather, as a leader that pushes for the elimination of barriers within the military community. “I have committed my life's work to military and veteran spouses while they are active and transitioning out of the military… service members are not the only

individuals transitioning out of the military, military spouses and other family members go through these transitions, as well.”

These four military spouse ambassadors join a larger conversation about the way we work. The COVID-19 pandemic brought issues like childcare, the unequal responsibility shared by spouses and work-life balance to the forefront. Because of their challenging lifestyle, military spouse ambassadors are in a unique position to diagnose issues in workplace culture, public policy and even DOD programs designed to help with employment.

Their advocacy has changed laws, encouraged candidates to run for office and connected military spouses across cultures, bringing them together under similar experiences. Their advocacy will continue to close gaps between organizations’ words and actions and between current policies and what families need to be healthy and happy.

Shelby Kearns is a freelance writer and English instructor for Blinn College. Her writing addresses topics that range from higher education to religion and has been featured in The American Spectator, America Magazine , The Feminist Current and SOFREP Shelby lives in Lawton, Oklahoma, with her husband, Matthew, a Field Artillery officer in the Army.

Janet Sanchez appears at an Esposas Militares Hispanas USA Armed Forces 2022 Summit in Puerto Rico Summit.

Military Life Tips & Tricks

BY JJ MONTANARO, CFP®

I’ve always enjoyed the opportunity to work with the folks at The National Military Spouse Network. If you’re reading this, I don’t need to tell you who NMSN is and all they do to support you, the military spouse.

However, I do want to use this space to highlight an NMSN program you might not be familiar with: NMSN’s Facebook Live Straight Talk series. In 2022, USAA both sponsored and participated in the program. If you haven’t checked it out, take a few minutes and do it. There’s a lot of good stuff there.

In the past, I’ve had the opportunity to join NMSN’s founder, Sue Hoppin, to discuss timely militaryfinance-related topics. But this year I worked alongside Sue and her team, and we took a different approach. We identified a group of my colleagues at USAA who were working in areas or on projects that we thought NMSN members might find beneficial. With a little bit of coaxing, we lined them up for a series of three conversations with Sue.

Without giving too much away, here, I will share a key takeaway and what I would call some “quotable quotes” from each of the three interviews.

BOP Is Not Music-Related

Well, maybe it is, but in the insurance industry it’s an all-in-one policy designed for business owners, a “ Business Owner’s Policy,” or BOP. This type of policy provides property, liability and business interruption coverage in a single contract. No matter where you are on your business-ownership journey, carefully crafting or assessing your protection plan should be on your to-do list. At the end of the day, your plan should minimize the risks.

My quotable quote from Sue’s interview with Nate Kraynak, “What does a bad day look like for my business?” Your plan will avoid those bad days.

This

Certified

USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates. No Department of Defense or government agency endorsement.

A Refresh Is Fresh

Sue noted early in the interview that, “every five years we need to go through a refresh.” Although Sue wasn’t talking about a budgeting refresh, I will. Today’s economic climate, specifically the challenges presented by inflation, make it important to do a topto-bottom review of your spending habits. If it’s been a while, the exercise will likely yield some surprises regarding inflation’s impact on how much you are spending in different areas.

Sara De La Rosa highlighted the USAA Perks program for anyone looking for “everyday savings on your everyday spend.”

Always Flexible

I chuckled at Josh Andrews’ comment, “things in the military are not set in stone.” He and Beth Crepeau joined Sue to discuss tips to help navigate the challenges of military life. This interview was packed with ideas to tackle PCS moves, deployments, transition and military life in general. I appreciated Beth’s view that it makes sense for the non-military spouse to be the family’s CFO aka Chief Financial Officer. It highlights the need for both spouses to be engaged and understand what you, collectively, are trying to achieve – your financial goals.

There are a lot more guests and topics in the NMSN Straight Talk series, so head that way and grab some of the goodness.

Joseph “JJ” Montanaro is a financial planner with USAA’s Military Affairs’ Advocacy Group and is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER professional (CFP®). He is a native of Kansas City and graduated from the United States Military Academy, West Point, New York.Montanaro has more than twenty years of experience as a financial planner. He served in the US Army for six years on active duty and retired as a lieutenant colonel in the United States Army Reserve. JJ’s financial advice has appeared in numerous outlets including the Wall Street Journal, USA Today and the New York Times. He writes monthly personal finance columns for Military Spouse Magazine and American Legion Magazine and hosts the USAA Money Drill podcast.

material is for informational purposes. Consider your own financial circumstances carefully before making a decision and consult with your tax, legal or estate planning professional.

Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. owns the certification marks CFP® and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER TM in the United States, which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board's initial and ongoing certification requirements.

Add Some Muscle to That Side Hustle

KRISTA WELLS, PHD., THE MILITARY SPOUSE COACH ®

Turning your side hustle into an actual business will take some muscle, but once it’s up and running, it will get easier, I promise. Today, I’m looking back at the steps I took to land a book deal and am sharing so you can keep your eyes on your side hustle prize. It takes a strong vision, some elbow grease and faith. I hope my hindsight is 20/20 and these tips help you amp up your side hustle.

I have been coaching the military spouse community for almost two decades through

www.militaryspousecoach.com

With our portable lifestyles, many military spouses have side hustles—doing a little something on the side every day while supporting those who serve, and sometimes holding down a fulltime job to boot. But when you want to take your side hustle to the next level, the key to turning your little project into a six-figure income is consistency. Just like it takes going to the gym more than once to build muscle, it takes lots of baby steps to turn your dream into reality.

When I tell people that I got together with a friend and published the novel An Imperfect Plan by Addison McKnight (pen name), they inevitably say we made it look easy. I am here to walk you through some of the behind-thescenes side hustle steps that led to our success!

Think about what you ideally want to be and then start acting “as if.”

Step 1: Create A

Board

Vision

Before getting paid to write, I worked on envisioning myself as a writer. I created a vision board with photos of my future self, a mock book cover, a photo of an imaginary literary agent and a photo of my co-author and me on the Today Show (still working to make this a reality).

I recommend following your intuition and taking daily actions that feel like they are leading you toward your future self. For me, this involved waking up each day and acting “as if” I was a paid writer. Looking up at a vision board reminded me how passionate I was to get our story out into the world. If you are feeling at all complacent, consider spending some time journaling about what you want and then create a vision board that you can look at as a daily reminder of where you’re heading next. It may help

motivate you to cross the finish line if you can see your goals.

Set Boundaries

Part of my vision was to become successful while also maintaining a work/life balance. I wanted to be able to publish a book without having to go on a book tour that would take me away from attending my four kids’ sporting events. Even though I had no idea how to do that, I kept this boundary in mind and eventually attracted the exact type of book deal that aligned with my goals.

Make Specific Time Commitments

I decided to work smart, not work hard, so I set the goal to spend as many hours writing articles as I spent playing tennis or curling each week. This helped set clear time limits and boundaries around the time I invested in my side hustle. Making progress toward my

goals in this limited amount of time meant that I had to spend my time strategically.

I planned what writing-focused podcast I would listen to during my downtime or sign up for an online writing class instead of binge-watching Netflix. Spending 30 minutes of quiet time planning and journaling with a coffee in the morning helped me be smart about where I directed that day’s energy. While it seems counterintuitive if you are feeling stretched thin take some “me” time to reflect and redirect.

Repurpose Your Efforts

I was able to come up with creative ways to leverage my efforts and regain energy. I repurposed my content in multiple ways to extend my effort and reach as far as possible. For example, when I have a speech at a military spouse event, it also turns into:

• Three smaller Toastmasters speeches strung together help me practice for a longer keynote speech at my local Toastmasters club

• An article for a military spouse publication by capturing the key points from my notes for the speech

Or if I am speaking at a Heroes at Home event, I will submit an article on the same topic to the local Hampton Roads newspaper and print out copies for the event participants. This approach often gives you additional exposure by building your platform to help drive sales down the road). It also builds your portfolio to use when pitching paid opportunities that build up income before you make your side hustle a full-time gig.

Step 2: Start Spreading the News

Once you have a clear vision of the work you love, start doing that work in bite-sized pieces. Nicole and I both blogged for years before we started getting paid for our writing. I would often guest blog on topics that interested me on channels like the Military Spouse Magazine’s blog or Today Show’s parenting blog and then I’d share these posts on my social media platforms. This approach allowed me to invite new military spouses to check out my life coaching work. I started paying attention to the blogs I was reading and then reaching out and asking those bloggers if they’d like to collaborate. Sometimes that meant including them in my newsletter or interviewing them for a blog I was writing–that they might end up sharing–and sometimes it simply helped create a genuine connection and authentic shoutouts on social.

Networking Karma

During this process, I discovered that a few colleagues were going

through similar challenges with outreach. I started authentically sharing the work of these bloggers and authors and found that people started sharing mine also. Sometimes it wasn’t even the same people, but just starting to share others’ work helped build momentum and increase my exposure.

While it’s not as structured as a Business Networking International meeting, I have a small coaching mastermind group where I share my friends' work when I can. It's no pressure and if this feels right for your audience, it can be the type of arrangement that keeps you going when the going gets tough. One of the keys to sticking with your side hustle is surrounding yourself with likeminded people that are equally passionate about getting their work into the world. If you don’t already have a tribe within your side hustle’s niche, consider creating one.

Once I started sharing my side hustle writing with my tribe, I started exploring how I could transition the free work I was

doing into paid gigs. Just like I prefer authentic networking, I prefer authentic selling. As you pitch your side hustle, think about selling it to people that already know, like and trust you. I first pitched to Military Spouse Magazine, a publication that l looked forward to reading cover to cover each month.

I explained the work I did and said that writing a coaching column would allow me to share my expertise with an audience I already loved. Just like that, writing articles for them became my first paid writing gig. My daughter would go down for a nap, and I’d look at my vision board that reminded me I was already a writer and start typing.

Once I saw the benefit of connecting with a larger audience of military spouses beyond my client list, I started pitching multiple publications within the military spouse industry. Regardless of your side hustle, there are various places to pitch your work. Think about your values, skills, and interests and where people with similar interests hang out— and start there. For example, I love writing and speaking, so I pitched Writers Networks and Toastmasters Magazine and I recently pitched to Choose Coaching Magazine, because I also love coaching. If you are a hands-on person wanting to create your own products, start local. You may want to sell your wares in Target, but you need to build your network first. Think about what you love and pitch your talent to those audiences on your path to creating your own.

Step 3: Eye on the Prize

No matter how hard it feels, have faith. It may sound woo-woo to imagine doing the work you love before getting paid for it, but I promise you that it is possible. I had to believe I could become a published author before I was willing to put the time and energy into making it happen. It’s all about believing, working (really) hard and then achieving.

Break Down Your Goals into Steps

Writing an entire book sounds daunting, right? Well, I coauthored so I only had to think about writing half of a book. But either way, if you start writing a blog post daily, or a monthly article that is 1,000 words, you can write a book. The first step is believing it is doable. When my friend Nicole approached

me and said, “I’m writing a book, why don’t you help…” I secretly googled, “how many pages are in the average thriller?” and when it said 80,000 words I thought, “Well, 40,000 words is like 40 articles, and I’ve already done that!” Breaking it down into smaller pieces helped me realize that I had already written the equivalent of a book through my writing side hustle.

After landing an agent, Nicole and I hit many hurdles, but our agent said, “…you need to have faith that books make their way into the world in an organic way” and she was right. What at first felt disappointing, when the book didn’t come out fast enough, ended up being the perfect timing. Now as I craft my next vision, I can lean even more heavily on faith, allowing my next work to find its way into the world naturally. I trust that

spending a little time each day and taking small actions can lead to big results because I’ve already seen it happen.

Want to Learn More?

Watch Krista’s presentation at the 2022 NMSN Career Summit

Krista Wells, Ph.D., The Military Spouse Coach® , is a certified life coach that loves working with motivated military spouses. She writes and speaks to military spouse groups, teaching them how to set goals and make their side hustles happen! She recently co-authored a fiction book titled An Imperfect Plan , under the pen name Addison McKnight.

What the Work Opportunity Tax Credit (WOTC) Could Mean for You

BY JANET FARLEY, ED.M.

When it comes to anything involving taxes, I defer to “Robert,” a kind-hearted, retired CPA who works seasonally for a local tax preparation service. Robert is a tax code whisperer who easily understands deductions, dividends and distributions more than I would ever want to.

There is, however, one taxrelated topic that does have my attention now and it should have yours, too. It centers on the Work Opportunity Tax Credit (WOTC), a federal tax incentive available to employers

who hire job seekers identified as belonging to a target group that experiences barriers to employment.

Oddly enough, military spouses, who experience numerous barriers to employment along with a 24% long-term unemployment rate are not currently considered to be a targeted group under the WOTC.

It hasn’t been for lack of trying. Lawmakers, encouraged by advocates, including the National Military Spouse Network , from across industries and sectors,

have been debating the addition of military spouses to the list of targeted groups under the WOTC for years without getting it done. Congress came close to it in 2017, and again in 2021.

Fingers crossed, all that could all change before the end of this year or maybe in early 2023 with the anticipated passing of the Military Spouse Hiring Act

Why Does the WOTC Matter?

Expanding the WOTC to include military spouses would incentivize employers to hire

more spouses. That, in turn, could lower the astronomical milspouse unemployment rate – not to mention the domino feel-good effect that could be triggered, improving military life satisfaction rates, family financial readiness and military readiness of the forces.

When and if it does (fingers crossed), you’ll want to at least know the basics about the WOTC and how you can leverage it in your job search.

A Closer Look at the WOTC

If I were to ask Robert, my tax code whisperer, about the WOTC, I’m quite sure he would fist bump the air, yell “chaching!” and say that the WOTC tax credit is a good deal for everyone.

The WOTC was established in 1996 and is jointly administered by the U.S. Department of Labor (DOL) and the U.S. Treasury, through the Internal Revenue Service (IRS).

Working together, these agencies provide grant funding and policy guidance to State Workforce Development Agencies who then manage the certification process with employers wishing to realize tax savings. The program has been modified and extended over the years. The current version of the WOTC is authorized through December 31, 2025 and is reviewed every five years.

So, What’s the Bottom Line?

The WOTC allows employers to benefit from a one-time tax

credit for each new hire who happens to belong to one of the target groups and there is no limit to the number of new hires who can qualify an employer for a tax credit.

The tax credits themselves vary from $2,400 up to $9,000 depending on the targeted group identified and the qualified wages paid to the new employee, usually during the first year of employment.

According to the IRS, the credit is limited to the amount of business income tax liability or Social Security tax owed and the DOL states the credit is basically 40% of qualified first-year wages for those who work 400+ hours in their first year of employment.

If your eyes, like mine, begin to glaze over words like wages, liability, and tax (that’s why we hire the Roberts of the world, right?), just know that one person hired and verified as belonging to a target group could potentially save an employer up to $9,000

If that same employer hired ten more employees eligible for up to $9,000 each, then that could potentially be a tax savings of up to $99,000 for those eleven employees.

Most employers would like to save nearly $100,000; don’t you think?

So, Why Aren’t Military Spouses a Target Group Under the WOTC?

That’s the million-dollar question now, isn’t it?

Military spouses are not a target group, but they certainly know a thing or two about employment challenges.

Let’s briefly review here to give those who may be new to our military spouse ranks something to look forward to (read: sarcasm) or for others outside of the uniformed world seeking a better understanding of the struggles (read: lawmakers and advocates make good changes):

• Military families move a lot, and it can be hard to secure, maintain and advance a career when your resume is filled with resulting employment gaps.

• Underemployment makes the strongest among us question key life choices. “Would you like fries with that?” asked the hardworking milspouse with two advanced degrees and tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

• Many military duty stations exist in employment deserts, preventing spouses from earning the additional paycheck needed to make ends meet.

• Childcare is expensive, often swallowing a large percentage of a spouse’s income. It’s not always available, either, making employment nearly impossible for those with small children – ironically, the demographic that most likely needs the second paycheck the most.

• Navigating military life challenges isn’t easy. Frequent deployments and other demands of the uniformed spouse’s day (and night) job can often get in the way of your career, too.

• Employers are still hesitant to hire military spouses who may only work for them for two years, despite the reality that civilian employees move in and out of jobs all the time.

Potential Downsides

Opening the WOTC to military spouses could be a positive step towards solving the high unemployment dilemma that has plagued our community for years. If it truly encourages

employers to hire spouses for permanent employment opportunities, it will be a cause for celebration.

There could be a couple of downsides, too.

Stereotyping

For example, stereotyping military spouses as a difficult demographic could appear counterproductive to the narrative pushed by advocates for years, casting milspouses in a positive light all around. The challenge will be framing both points of view side-by-side.

Temporary Fixes or Fraud

And then there is the money. Some employers may be tempted to exploit the program. ProPublica, an independent, nonprofit newsroom, analyzed WOTC data from nine states and found that nearly a quarter of the jobs certified for the tax credit between 2018 – 2020 were made through temporary employment agencies for temporary jobs rather than through employers with permanent opportunities.

This practice has resulted in temp agencies scoring hundreds of millions of dollars per year in government subsidies to temporarily hire employees who are soon back to being unemployed. Ex-felons, a target group on the WOTC, have particularly felt the negative repercussions of this practice.

Bottom line, if military spouses are added to the WOTC, then let’s be sure the change is a positive one that truly facilitates long-term employment and meaningful careers for spouses, continues to portray military

spouses in a positive light and doesn’t just benefit employers who want to cash in on the program.

Leveraging the WOTC as a Jobseeker

Thinking positively, let’s say that military spouses get added to the WOTC. What do you need to know and how do you apply it in your job search?

• At a minimum, know what the acronym stands for = Work Opportunity Tax Credit and it is a government workforce development program.

• Know that it can potentially save employers anywhere from $2,400 up to $9,000 in taxes.

• Understand that some employers may not be aware of it, and you might have to (politely) educate them about it. For example, you can bring it up during a job interview like this:

Employer: Why should I hire you?

You: Thanks for asking. I’m sure you want to hire the best person for this job. I believe I am that person. From what I learned in my research of this company and in speaking with you today, you want someone you can rely on who can effectively do x, y and z. I have those skills and a proven track record. I also share the values of your organization. I believe we may very well be a good fit for one another. And there’s a potential bonus, as well, if you weren’t already aware.

As a military spouse, I might be able to help you realize a federal tax credit for hiring me, as authorized under the Work Opportunity Tax Credit.

• If you are hired and the employer is interested in taking advantage of the WOTC, you can make life easier for all by downloading and completing the required forms (see below) for the employer. Once the employer realizes how easy that process is, perhaps they will hire more military spouses.

How Does It Work Exactly?

Employers interested in taking advantage of the WOTC should first hire someone from one of the targeted groups:

• Those formerly incarcerated or previously convicted of a felony

• Recipients of state assistance under part A of title IV of the Social Security Act (SSA)

• Qualified veterans

• Community residents in areas designated as an empowerment zone, enterprise community or rural renewal community

• Individuals who completed a vocational rehabilitation plan or program

• Individuals whose families use Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)

• Long-term family assistance recipients

• Qualified social security income and long-term unemployment recipients

• Summer youth employees

Hopefully, military spouses will be added to this bulleted list soon!

Once someone is hired from the target group, employers must file a WOTC certification request with the state workforce agency within 28 calendar days after the new hire’s start date.

Specifically, that request includes an IRS Form 8850, Pre-Screening Notice and Certification Request for the Work Opportunity Credit and an ETA Form 9061 or ETA Form 9062 . Additional forms, such as the ETA Form 9175 may also be required for certain targeted groups.

If the new hire meets the eligibility requirements for a WOTC targeted group, employers will receive an ETA Form 9063, Employer Certification WOTC from the state workforce agency.

Taxable employers can then use that form to claim the benefit as a general credit against

their income taxes. Tax-exempt employers who hire qualified veterans can claim the WOTC against their payroll taxes.

Robert would also say, “that’s good money saved for employers and employment for those who want to work.” Here’s to hoping the third time is the charm in Congress and military spouses will finally be added to the list of target groups covered by the WOTC.

Learn More:

IRS: Work Opportunity Tax Credit

Employers: You Should Know About This Hiring Incentive

H.R. 2974 Military Spouse Hiring Act

How to File a WOTC Certification Request

https://www.ncsl.org/ documents/Task_forces/ Assessing_The_Work_ Opportunity_Tax_Credit.pdf

Janet Farley, Ed.M., CPRW, CFJST, CFCC is a career coach,a professional resume writer and the author of ten career/life advice guides, most recently Mission Transition: Managing Your Career and Your Retirement (Rowman & Littlefield, 2018) and Military Life 101: Basic Training for New Military Families (Rowman & Littlefield, 2016). A proud spouse of an Army veteran and a dedicated advocate for all those who have served in uniform and for those who have given their hearts to them, she offers straightforward career management and job search advice based on more than twenty-five years of experience working in employment services across multiple industries stateside and abroad. She holds a Master’s Degree in Human Services and Human Resource Education from Boston University and is a Certified Professional Resume Writer (PARWCC), Federal Job Search Coach and Career Coach. Farley is also a graduate of Skillfull’s Colorado Governor’s Coaching Corps and currently resides in Colorado Springs, Colorado with her family. Reach her at www.linkedin.com/in/ janetfarley

Belle of the Ball DRESS

CODE DEFINED

BY ERIN HODGKINSON

You Are Invited

Fall is ball season and along with that comes charity auctions, holiday parties, Friendsgiving and special events that deserve out-of-theordinary outfits.

There is an elated feeling that erupts when opening an invitation and you are cordially invited or requested to honor someone with your presence at a special occasion.

Unfortunately, with the excitement, comes the uneasy feeling of, what am I going to wear? Often times at special events a dress code is declared to assist us in tailoring our choices. These clamorous declarations are left up for much interpretation. Wording you may be familiar with:

Black Tie/Tuxedo

Evening Gown

Dark Suit/Semi-Formal

Cocktail

Formal

To make things a bit easier, we are going to help take the ambiguity out of dress codes and clarify these loose guidelines so you can enjoy the festivities.

When in doubt always ask the host of the event or reach out to local representatives for specific military dress codes.

NMSN | FALL/WINTER STYLE

Event Details

Dress codes take into account various indicators and you will want to also. These details will help you decipher the level of formality of your event in order to make a more informed decision regarding your outfit.

EXAMPLE: Evening ballroom events with special guests and a sit-down meal will be way more formal than a monthly banquet at a dining hall served buffet style.

Things to Consider

Time of event - AM vs PM

Venue - Four Seasons ballroom vs outdoor garden

Occasion - Wedding vs. yearly banquet (once in a lifetime/once a month)

Service - Eight-course meal vs. buffet style

Guests - the Mayor vs. neighbors

Activities - dancing, eating, speaking

Fashion gifts you the opportunity to express your mood, muse and mind. Make it matter ~ Erin

NMSN | FALL/WINTER STYLE

Semi-Formal

Semi-formal and cocktail are often the most perplexing as they seem as if they are one and the same. Although both include shorter hemlines, semi-formal adds in more of a business flare than its sassy counterpart.

Semi-formal falls between casual and formal − Think business attire meets sophistication or job interview with a touch of spunk and quality fabrication (Ponte, wool, cotton cashmere).

Semi-Formal/Elevated Separates

• Festive top with colorful detailing & dress pants

• Pencil skirt and holiday sweater

• Jumpsuit/pantsuit in a modern silhouette with a chunky belt

• Knee-length dress with a dainty necklace

• Midi-length dress with court heels or a patterned pump

Cocktail

The repeal of Prohibition in the 1920s gave the cocktail dress its bold and brassy reputation and namesake. The cocktail ensemble is usually for occasions that call for a bit of formality while also letting us be free to let loose.

Cocktail attire is not defined by silhouette, color or fabric, nearly anything goes. Because of this, cocktail attire is synonymous with flexibility and functionality − perfect for dancing!

Cocktail Options

• Little black dress (LBD)- a handy item that is a blank canvas ready to be accessorized

• Jumpsuit/pantsuit in bold print or a rich fabric like velvet or lace

• Knee-length dress with statement pieces

• Midi-dress with embroidered heels

NMSN | FALL/WINTER STYLE

Formal

This category of dress code is the most formal attire for social occasions. Hemlines are all the way to the ankle/floor or longer and are considered gowns.

Use the elongated silhouette and luxe fabric to highlight the occasion. Velvets, satin, chiffon and silks shine in the ballroom.

Places to Shop & Drop

Operation Deploy Your Dress https://www.renttherunway.com/ https://www.thredup.com/ https://poshmark.com/ Base Thrift Shops

Online

Shopping Tip...

If you are unclear what to wear, head to your favorite online department store website for visual confirmation and ideas.

Filter by occasion or dress code: formal / semi-formal party / daytime gown / separates

The results will populate a multitude of visual styles that fall under the requirements you are seeking.

Style & Comfort

Whether you're wearing a dress, pantsuit or skirt, be aware of your level of comfort. Ask yourself:

"Can I sit without uncomfortable exposure?"

"If I am speaking/presenting am I drawing too much attention to my attire?"

"Can I dance in this?"

Let these answers influence your wardrobe choice while intersecting with the dress code and your personal preferences for a fun and relaxing time.

Erin Hodgkinson is a vCommerce fashion stylist for HSN. She dresses the hosts and models on the live show.

How to Effectively Network as an Introvert

BY CACHET PRESCOTT, PHR, SHRM-CP

Networking. We hear this term time and time again in business and work, and for many introverts like me, it can induce feelings of dread and/or anxiety.

While our more extroverted counterparts may relish the idea of meeting and chatting with new people, we, introverts, may moan, groan and insert eye rolls at the very thought of having to engage in this energy-draining endeavor.

For me, networking can feel like a transactional game of numbers that lacks the deep connection that I crave in my interactions. But despite these feelings, I also recognize the importance of meeting new people and that small talk can open the door to the more substantive connection that I’m seeking.

Ultimately, we don’t work on an island of one when it comes to our careers. From working in teams or departments to collaborating with stakeholders to leading and being led by others, we interact and engage with people in a variety of ways. Ultimately, our ability to develop and nurture those relationships is a crucial key to our success as professionals.

Can introverts make networking work for us?

Let’s explore what my fellow introverts can do before, during and after an event to create a more positive experience for you :

Before

For introverts, part of the dread comes from the lack of certainty in the moment. So, a few vital things must be done before we even enter a room, to help us mentally prepare for the experience.

• Reframe how you see "networking". Think of this process as the start of building a relationship with someone and a means to building a deeper connection.

• Adopt a growth mindset. While networking can be challenging in some ways,

recognizing your ability to adapt and grow as a networker creates space for you to bring your A-game to each conversation.

• Develop your value proposition. Allow yourself time to think about what you bring to the table and the value you add so you can confidently convey it when you connect with others.

• Know your zone of genius and don't be afraid to speak to it and operate in it.

• Know your goal for each networking situation. Think through what you're hoping to accomplish with each interaction.

• Consider the event and atmosphere. Know what type of event you’re attending –in-person vs. virtual; small vs. large; etc.–and set your personal limits for engagement. For instance, dip your toe into the networking pool by starting small by attending a local networking event vs. a conference with 500+ people.

• Do your research. If you know specific people will be in the room, check out their LinkedIn profiles and/or reach out to mutual connections to learn a bit about them before you meet.

• Be curious. Prepare a goto list of pocket questions and a relevant story about yourself to share so you’re not searching for something to say in the moment. It will keep the awkward silence at bay.

During

• Give yourself a goal as you "work the room”. A goal might be time-bound: “I’ll spend the next 30 minutes interacting”, or more targeted: “let’s make at least three genuine connections before the event ends.”

• Think person, not position. Humanize the process by looking at this as an opportunity to simply get to know each person as a human being. Again, these initial conversations can build into the deeper conversations that we crave if we’re willing to put in the time to cultivate the relationship.

• Add value. This is where your value proposition comes into play. Think about what you

can add to the conversation when you're in the room, how you can help someone else in their endeavors, if you can make strategic connections, etc. (Note: your value-add may not come up in your initial conversation but may come later.)

• Don't be afraid to make your needs known (if appropriate for the situation). People generally like to help, so speak up and allow them the opportunity to do so.

• Know your limits. When you start to recognize that your internal battery is draining, give yourself sufficient time and space to recharge.

After

• Follow up and follow through. Implement a follow-up system that works for you and reconnect in a timely manner. And most importantly, keep the momentum going by checking in regularly in a way that works for both you and the other person.

Your Challenge

In the next 30 days, engage in one networking opportunity using some of the tips above to connect with at least one person … on your terms.

Cachet Prescott, PHR, SHRM-CP is passionate about the human side of business and the workplace, and her zone of genius lies in her ability to inspire and leverage the power of connection to create space for effective communication, cooperation, collaboration, innovation, calibration and elevation at work.

This military spouse and mother of three girls is the creator and host of All Things (Un)learned, a podcast exploring unlearning as a powerful means to personal growth, transformation and well-being. She holds a Master’s in Sociology from the University of Georgia; a Master’s in Industrial-Organizational Psychology from Fairfield University; and a Bachelor’s in Sociology from the University of Virginia. She brings her expertise in organizational behavior; interpersonal relations and group dynamics; interpersonal communication; leadership development; and diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging to all she does. She's been featured in The Muse; Thrive Global; The Huffington Post; Introvert, Dear; DailyWorth; Fast Company; FlexJobs; International Business Times (IBT); LearnVest; Monster; Recruiter.com; Careers in Government; GI Jobs; Military Spouse Magazine and Blue Star Families

Taking the Sting Out of Job Search Rejection

BY JANET FARLEY, ED.M.

As milspouses accustomed to hardships in life, we tend to be somewhat optimistic, or at least pragmatic, in the face of any challenge. If there is a problem, we try to solve it and move forward.

It’s no surprise that many of us approach situations, like job interviews, with unnatural positivity. We strive to be confident in our abilities, with plans already in place to spend that first paycheck before the job offer is even made to us.

Why wouldn’t [insert employer name] want to hire me?

I’m a fabulous bargain. Where do I sign? When do I start?

Occasionally, plans don’t go, well, according to plan. Today jobs are abundant and employers struggle to fill seats. So, the sting of not being offered an opportunity, particularly after extensively interviewing for it, can be tough to handle.

Here are some tips and action items to help you pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and get confidently back on that job-seeking horse in a timely fashion.

Wallow in self-pity for a full two minutes.

You deserve that. You invested your time and precious life energy in a process that didn’t work out in your favor. Simply put, that sucks. It’s okay to feel a little defeated here. The operative word here is little. Set a timer.

Revisit the interview.

Once the two-minute pity party is over, do the oft-painful work of re-examining the process. This is the moment to objectively consider how you handled yourself and determine if you, or the employer*, could have done things differently.

• Did you make the best impression possible? Did the employer?

• How would you characterize the interview? Was it conversational with clear connectivity? Robotic in nature, sticking to a structured script? Or somewhere in between?

* Did you know that some states offer protection against military spouse employment discrimination?

• Did you answer the inevitable “tell me about a time” questions in a productive manner?

• Were you able to effectively connect the dots between your skillset and the job?

• Where were the communication shortfalls or disconnects on either side of the table or screen?

Name the “why”.

Do your best to articulate why you think you didn’t get the job. This is a crucial step to acceptance of the rejection and learning from the experience.

I think I didn’t get offered the job because…...

• I wasn’t a good fit for the company, culturally speaking.

• They had other candidates, internally or externally, that they liked better than me.

• I was over or underqualified for this position.

• My interviewing skills were lacking.

• They made assumptions about me about my potential longevity on the job, my age, my weight, my beliefs, etc.

• I was underwhelming or far too confident.

Understand that there may be more than one why involved here, too. And sometimes you may feel ghosted, with little evidence on which to reflect.

If you struggle with this step, you can always bravely reach back to the person who interviewed you and ask them if they would be willing to share their “why” with you.

Accept the why and recalibrate.

Once you’ve identified the “why”, determine if it’s something that you can work on for future interviews. If the answer is yes, then do so.

• Research and target companies that may be a better fit culturally.

• Step up your targeted networking so you have a better sense of your chances.

• Match your skills to the job and be able to articulate that connection to others.

• Work to fill your own skills gap.

• Hold mock interviews ahead of time.

• Strategize how you might proactively address

perceived assumptions.

• Find your sweet spot, attitude-wise.

Recognizing silver linings and dodged bullets.

Once the initial disappointment of rejection fades, consider the possibility that not being offered the job could be a blessing in disguise. Did you have any misgivings along the way? Had you been offered and accepted the position you might have found yourself in a less than satisfying professional space.

Also, consider that not being offered the job gives the universe its chance to channel the right opportunity towards you.

Thank you. Next.

Job search rejection can sting but dwelling on missed opportunities won’t move you forward. After you’ve put yourself through the steps above, begin actively searching and applying for other positions.

Your next job is out there. Apply yourself.

Janet Farley, Ed.M., CPRW, CFJST, CFCC is a career coach,a professional resume writer and the author of ten career/life advice guides, most recently Mission Transition: Managing Your Career and Your Retirement (Rowman & Littlefield, 2018) and Military Life 101: Basic Training for New Military Families (Rowman & Littlefield, 2016). A proud spouse of an Army veteran and a dedicated advocate for all those who have served in uniform and for those who have given their hearts to them, she offers straightforward career management and job search advice based on more than twenty-five years of experience working in employment services across multiple industries stateside and abroad. She holds a Master’s Degree in Human Services and Human Resource Education from Boston University and is a Certified Professional Resume Writer (PARWCC), Federal Job Search Coach and Career Coach. Farley is also a graduate of Skillfull’s Colorado Governor’s Coaching Corps and currently resides in Colorado Springs, Colorado with her family. Reach her at www. linkedin.com/in/janetfarley

Krista Wells

Melissa St. Clair

Heba Abdelaal

Trish Alegre-Smith

Erin Hodgkinson