Modiinfo Winter 2018 by Caryn Meltz

Guide to Life in Modiin and Beyond

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Dear Readers Winter is here! After months of non-stop sunshine, the rainy season is here! Don’t let the wintry days keep you indoors. Check out Chana Koren’s tiyulim ideas and venture out with your family over Chanukah (page 8). Winter weather is no excuse not to exercise. Sherrill Kaye shares motivational exercise ideas which will improve your mood this winter season (page 20). One step at a time – Dina Solomon inspires us with her “Healthy Living” – small changes in our lives that improve our health and mental state (page 44). It’s also okay to have cozy days at home when you just need a break – but make sure that your house is ready for the winter season. We all know that living in Israel means the high probability of dampness and mold in our homes. Benny Jacobs gives us a few tips to help keep our house not only warm but also dry and damp free (page 30). Whether you choose to enjoy the comforts of your own home or take in the crisp wintry air, relish the cold days of winter. Before you know it, the sunshine will be back. Wishing everyone a Chanukah Sameach! Rachel and Caryn

TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S 6 8 12 16 20 22 26 30 32 34 36 38 40 42 44 46

Dvar Torah Chanukah Tiyulim Building a Sanctuary Out of the Mundane and the Holy The Ugly Truth Behind the Stigma of Mental Illness and What You Can Do About It Working Out - The Natural Prozac! Buying a Home in Israel? Wait… Did You Think about These Preliminary Steps? An Aliyah Story: Rose and Gary Scharlat 5 Tips for Preparing Your House for Winter Behind the Business: Green Land Modiin: Great City for Anglos Dating in Israel Joyous Moments Photography Refinancing Your Mortgage Keep Your Money in Your Pocket The Unfortunate Taboo Surrounding Miscarriage and Stillbirth Healthy Living/Recipe Candle lighting

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ModiInfo is an independently owned, advertiser supported publication distributed quarterly to Modiin and the surrounding neighborhoods. ModiInfo welcomes all articles and ads but reserves the right to edit or reject submissions. The views expressed by writers and contributors are not necessarily those of ModiInfo. ModiInfo is not responsible for facts or claims made by ads or authors, nor for any typographical errors and or photo submissions. Work produced by ModiInfo is the property of ModiInfo and may not be reproduced without consent. ModiInfo does not take responsibility for the translations that were made in the magazine. Photo stock images purchased from Storyblocks and Shutterstock.

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Living Chanukah Today By: Rabbi David Fine One of the great challenges of living a Jewish life is falling into a rote, essentially meaningless, practice of ritual. Ritual, in Judaism, is meant to be the vehicle for growth and more sanctified living, not necessarily an end in and of itself. The great prophet Isaiah warned against this thousands of years ago when he criticized the Jewish people for worshiping God by rote, “And their fear toward Me is taught by the commandment of men” (Isaiah 29:13). Often, we go through the motions without the motions affecting our hearts and our lives. So that this Chanukah we don’t just go through the motions robotically, I bring three beautiful teachings of Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev (the Kedushat Levi), the Hasidic master who perhaps most profoundly mined the depths of the holiday.

One of Hasidut’s most important lessons is that holidays don’t simply mark historical events. They also serve as engines of spiritual growth for eternity: Is it not well known that all of the miracles illuminations that were revealed in ancient days are revealed each and every year, Rabbi Levi Yitzchak writes. Sometimes these miracles are there and we just have to find them. Is it the gevurah (heroism) exhibited by the Maccabees that must animate our modern lives? Is it the divine chesed (kindness) performed by God in the original Chanukah story that we must be keenly sensitive to as we live our busy lives? When we ask these questions and truly search for answers our lives remain illuminated by the light of the original menorah. The Babylonian Talmud in Tractate Shabbat records a rabbinic debate about which specific act constitutes fulfillment of the commandment to light the menorah: kindling the lights or placing the lit candles in their proper location (‫)הדלקה או הנחה עושה מצווה‬. In a halachic debate which determines behavior we must rule one way or the other. But according to Rabbi Levi Yitzchak, spiritually both

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opinions can be accepted. This is true because the terms “lighting” and “placing” do not solely refer to physical acts but refer to spiritual modalities as well. Lighting connotes excitement, passion and enthusiasm while placing suggests passivity and indifference. Ideally, we should do Mitzvot with enthusiasm (light). That is why the blessing that we say is formulated as “who has commanded us to light.” But even when we are not passionate we must persevere and act anyway (place). In Rabbi Levi’s words: And this is the meaning of the blessing, “Blessed are You, Lord… to light…,” in which we bless and praise God Who has chosen us as His chosen people, to perform His commandments with kindling and with tremendous fervor blazing from them. But sometimes, when a person’s heart and mind have become blunted, such that he is not able to perform a mitzvah with fervor and desire, he should not refrain, heaven forefend, from performing it; rather, he should perform the mitzva in a state of “placing,” even if he has no fervor. Chanukah, in Hebrew, comes from the same root used for education, chinuch. When something is going to be used to serve God, it usually must be inaugurated in some way. A human action is required to make a physical article into a receptacle that can at once serve God as well as be a receptacle of His holiness. An example is the Priestly vestments that the Kohanim wore during their service in the Mishkan. The Torah, in Exodus 29, describes an elaborate ceremony that had to be performed in order for them to be dedicated. Verse 33 specifically says: “They are to eat those things, through which atonement was achieved to install them and [thereby] to sanctify them.” Rabbi Levi compares this to a child who must be educated by his/her parents before the child can truly serve God and be a receptacle for His holiness. God wants us to be imbued with His holiness but we cannot just expect that to happen without actively partnering with Him. My blessing is that we all live the miracle currently instead of only celebrating historical miracles, that we serve God with fervor but struggle to serve Him even when we are down and that we make ourselves into gleaming receptacles for God’s holiness. Happy Chanukah! Rabbi David Fine is the founder and dean of the Barkai Center for Practical Rabbinics and Community Development based in Modiin. 7

Chanukah Tiyulim By: Chana Koren Chanukah is a great time to go for some quality time with the family. Keren Kayemet L’Israel (KKL) has done much for the State of Israel. Whether it is reforestation that we are all familiar with, helping with summer camps, building memorials, funding museums or opening visitor’s centers for the public. This year a visit to some of the KKL sites will be not only enjoyable and enlightening but also educational and fun for the whole family. All sites are within a 1.5-hour drive from the Modiin area. Use Waze to find the best route using the Hebrew spelling. North The Ilanot Arboretum (‫ )אילנות‬is not just a botanical garden but also a research center for potential trees which KKL would like to plant throughout Israel. Each new type of tree that is “imported” (mostly from Australia) for the use of reforestation and public gardens, is planted in this 128-dunam park to see how it acclimates to the climate and soil in Israel. Many of the types that do survive are then incorporated in the planting of public

gardens and reforestation throughout the country. Have you ever wondered just how Keren Kayemet chooses which trees are suitable and what Israeli forestry involves? There is a recently opened visitor’s center which is interactive and affords the visitor an insight into forestation in a fun way and even includes a 3D flight over a living forest in Israel. The experience is great for all ages and the site is wheelchair accessible. Be sure to ask for the 8

scavenger hunt game sheet to help you identify the various trees in the center. Location: Route 4 near Ilanot Rehabilitation Center. Hours: 8:30 till sunset for Botanical Garden/Arboretum. Call for appointment inside the Visitor’s Center at: 050-627-3641 What else in the area: Turtle Bridge over Nahal Alexander, Nahal Hadera Park and Rabin Electric Power Station South Israel is full of history both modern and ancient and Keren Kayemet has helped fund a museum in honor of the ANZAC soldiers who fought a vicious battle at Gaza and conquered the city of Be’er Sheva from the Ottomans during WWI. The museum has an excellent movie based on the reenactment of modern day Australians and New Zealanders based on historical records. Showing the true passion of their mission and deep desire to succeed in the extremely dangerous missions the film is exhilarating and shows the difficulties the ANZAC soldiers met in this distant land. The exhibits include photos and paraphernalia from WWI as well as a visit to the pristine ANZAC cemetery just outside the building. See if you can find the single Jewish soldier’s grave. Location: 4 Ostrovsky St., Be’er Sheva. Opening hours: 9:0017:00 Sunday-Thursday. Telephone: 08-620-5004 What else in the area: Tel Be’er Sheva, Lunada Children’s Museum and Carasso Science Park. Central Jerusalem is a city visited on many occasions, but have you ever realized not only the historical sites but also the recreational areas? The Emek HaArazim (‫ )עמק הארזים‬is just one of them. With easy accessibility this urban park offers bicycle paths through forests and hills, fun playgrounds for the kids, picnic areas including grills for family picnics and plenty of parking. In addition, it is the location of the only memorial to the 9/11 terror attacks, outside of the USA. The memorial incorporates a piece Continued on page 10

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of metal donated by NYC and lists all the names of those who lost their lives on that tragic day. Located overlooking the Har Hamenuchot Cemetery, its location is specifically in memory of those who lost their lives, but have no formal place of burial. Location: Via Ramot, turn right just before the Begin Bridge (entrance to highway). Follow the signs for various sites in the park including the Memorial (‫)אנדרטת התאומים‬. Opening hours: daylight What else in the area: Yvel Visitor’s Center, Beit Yellin and Castel National Park Park Eshkol/Ein Habasor (‫)פארק אשכול‬ is another beautiful park with large grassy areas, wading pools and places for picnics. What is special about this little gem is its easy accessibility, open spaces and relatively few visitors. The park is located in the northern Negev Desert which receives little rainfall but is green all year round. The site offers bike paths, wading pools, Ein Habasor springs which produce warm water year-round and a restored piece of railroad track from the British Mandate line running between Rafiah and Beer Sheva.

Location: Off of road 241 just west of Ofakim. Opening hours: 8:00-16:00. Phone number: 08-998-5110 What to do in the area: El Hayaen ostrich farm and Joe Alon Bedouin Heritage Center Whichever direction you choose you will find something for everyone in the family. Nature hikes, museums, bicycle trails,

memorials and especially a closer connection to Eretz Israel and her modern as well as ancient history. Chana Koren is a tour guide and driver licensed to guide throughout the country. For more information, she can be contacted at: touringwithchana@gmail.com or at 054-459-2083.

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out of the Mundane and the Holy By: Nechama Goldman Barash and Jodi Wachspress The life we build together as a couple is made up of a collection of ordinary, everyday occurrences. Many couples come to consult with professionals prefacing their meeting with the words “it’s really the little things that are a problem…it’s kind of stupid, but….” How people respond to the mundane, tedious and often repetitive moments of conflict that come up on a daily basis, can often wear down relationships. Unless that is, an effective pattern of communication is developed to deflect burnout. These conflicts will generally fall into one of three categories: money, family and intimacy. However, when religion is involved, there is often increased sensitivity and defensiveness especially if the couple have never fully been in sync with one another regarding religious practice and belief. Let us look at an example that will resonate with many readers and allow us to uncover the tension that is exacerbated when there

is such incompatibility together with unhealthy and unproductive communication skills. The baby’s only pacifier/bottle is left in the car on Erev Shabbat, an unfortunate fact that is only discovered once the family comes home from shul Friday night. Husband and wife find themselves in a complicated situation which may or may not devolve into what we will refer to as “the blame game” where fingers are pointed and blame is assigned. The option of white knuckling the next 24 hours sans pacifier may be an option despite the inevitability of the sad screaming baby if both parents feel that this is what is required. However, things become more complicated when one parent feels that opening the car door is “no big deal” and can be done with some sort of “shinui,” the halakhic loophole that prevents Shabbat from being technically transgressed but is Continued on page 14

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playing in the space of halakhically questionable behavior. First of all, there are often solutions that can be considered before resorting to opening the car door with one’s nose or big toe. In Israeli communities, the rabbi may be a neighbor or live nearby and can be consulted. If no light goes on in the car when the door is opened, one can open the car door. This tends to be less realistic as most cars today automatically have car lights that go on. There are often non-Jewish caretakers that live in almost all Jewish neighborhoods who are well versed in understanding the awkward appearance of a person who comes in and announces that the light in the refrigerator has been left on or the baby’s pacifier is in the car. Another possibility is tracking down friends or neighbors who may also have pacifiers or bottles that can serve as a substitute. And a small child might be of use if there is no viable other solution. If none of those solutions prove sufficient, the question of whether one of the adults opens the door becomes paramount. As we mentioned earlier, this often brings up questions of religious commitment and partnered decision making. If whatever solution

is chosen proves displeasing to one spouse, feelings of insecurity, doubt, anger and resentment show up highlighting the tension within the relationship. After a bit of often needed “cool down time,” the couple should sit down and talk about strategies to deflect some of the tension around different religious outlooks. They should consider a series of steps that can either prevent the situation from ever happening or talk honestly about how it could be resolved more compatibly. Perhaps, a rabbinic authority or counsellor could help with providing some halakhically acceptable solutions should similar situations arise. Another common source of contention between parents is “The Great Shul Escape.” Just as bath time, bedtime and homework time come to a chaotic climax, fathers will slip away to mincha/maariv, often leaving for up to half an hour at a time. Even wives who are supportive of minyan going will feel exasperated or trapped and alone when such behavior continuously takes place at the height of the “baalagan.” If a wife is not particularly supportive of her husband’s synagogue going, resentment can fester. Of course, this works in the opposite direction as well – if the wife wants her husband to go to minyan and he regularly forgets or opts out, there

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can be a sense of alienation and a lack of togetherness on what seem to be halakhic and religious commitment. One solution is for men to look for a minyan that meets at a different time. Sometimes lunch mincha minyans are available and many communities have a late maariv. If there are no options, the couple should try to strategize for ways in which the husband proactively takes care of some of the tasks before he leaves or jumps in immediately upon return. As you can see, there are two ways to approach these kinds of situations: working together to come up with a mutually acceptable solution that integrates religion into the relationship or manipulating religion to become a weapon or excuse which leads to perpetuating relational discord. If a couple is aiming for the first approach, these examples highlight â&#x20AC;&#x153;learning opportunities.â&#x20AC;? The couple can recognize, but not be threatened by differences of opinion, accepting the challenge to work through the issue rather than become angered by it and reactive to it. Sitting down and talking about the stress that is brewing may be just what the doctor ordered. Is the disagreement really about the missing pacifier or the choice of minyan? Is it about feeling alone and marginalized in the relationship? Are you really listening to what your spouse is saying? We all know that communication is the key to a happy and

healthy marriage. We also know that the way we choose to incorporate religion into our family lives is very personal. Recognizing when a point of tension lies in religious incongruences or misunderstandings or when it is more about your relationship with your spouse is an important step in two individuals blending different opinions and views into a more synchronized and organic unit. This article looks at issues that arise in marriage and are exacerbated by differences in religious approach that add to marital conflict and need to be resolved with good communication skills. Nechama Goldman Barash made aliyah from Philadelphia after graduating from Stern College. She is a yoetzet halacha and sex educator. She teaches contemporary halakha and Talmud at Matan, Pardes, and Torah Vâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Avodah (TVA), a Bnei Akiva gap-year program. She is a member of Beit Hillel and participates in interfaith dialogue through Roots, based in Gush Etzion, close to where she lives. Jodi Wachspress is a Marriage and Family and Couples and Sex therapist who has been in private practice in Modiin for the past 15 years. In addition, she enjoys teaching women, kallot and madrichot kallot on the topics of relationships, intimacy and personal growth.

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The Ugly Truth Behind the Stigma of Mental Illness and What You Can Do About It By: Tanya Prochko, MEd, MFT The stigma is there; let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room! Research suggests that most people hold negative stereotypes toward people with mental illness. While society is moving toward acceptance and better understanding of mental illnesses, the assumption that mentally ill individuals are dangerous, violent or unstable is still there. These stereotypes are not only wrong, but they continue to isolate those who are battling with mental illness and prevents them from speaking about it and finding support and professional help. In my private practice, I’ve heard many comments that demonstrate the existence of such stigma. The comments that I hear most often are: A. “This must be the craziest thing you’ve ever heard.” Or

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“Am I the craziest client you’ve ever had?” B. “I’ve never shared this with anyone, I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me if I tell you.” C. “My husband doesn’t know that I’m in therapy, he doesn’t believe in it and thinks we can handle it on our own.” When I hear statements like statement “A,” I assure the client that I do not view them this way. Despite the safe space of the therapeutic setting, the client is usually either surprised or shows disbelief. It is reasonable to assume that this is because they’ve received and internalized the message from others that they’re “crazy,” or the use of the word “crazy” has been an acceptable form of speech since childhood, when kids call one another “crazy” or “insane.” Being perceived as “not normal” has direct negative consequences in our society and thereby fuels protective behaviors: I don’t want to be viewed as outside the norm; therefore, I’ll do everything in my power to keep that hidden from others. This belief leaves the individual to deal with his/her psychological challenges alone, while feeling ashamed, hopeless, and vulnerable. Statement B also shows the negative consequence of the stigma for the client who becomes pre-occupied wondering what others will think of them once they find out the part that they’ve been working so hard to hide all this time. They worry that they will no longer be a good candidate for a job, or that they won’t get married. They worry that their friends will no longer respect them. The psychological energy that is used up in this manner leaves less energy for managing other aspects of their lives. Lastly, statement C represents the large portion of the population that believes that seeking help is a weakness, or that therapy is for the extreme cases only. How do we contribute to the stigma in our day to day lives? We make assumptions about things that we don’t know a lot about. Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with a friend or Continued on page 18

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a family member when they disclosed something about a mental or emotional struggle? Perhaps you handled it with support and compassion, or maybe it made you feel uncomfortable. When a friend or loved one opens these topics in conversation, many people find that they don’t know what to say, or they change the subject, or worse – they say something unhelpful. Make de-stigmatizing mental illness a personal mission. Whether you know it or not, someone close to you is struggling with a mild or major mental health issue. Someone you know likely is struggling with depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, an addiction, or may have a personality disorder. Once we recognize how close to home these battles are going on, it will become easier to start changing our attitudes. What can I do to make a difference? LANGUAGE: Change the language that you use: Say unique instead of different when speaking about a person. Avoid using words like crazy, psycho, or insane, and teach your children to do the same. OPEN UP MENTAL HEALTH AS A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION: Discuss with your family what acceptance and support of others looks like. For example, if your child’s classmate has behavioral issues, instead of calling her a “trouble maker” teach

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your child that this girl might have difficulty controlling herself and hopefully she’ll learn the skills to be able to do so. Ask your children what it feels like when they feel a bit anxious, or sad, and how difficult it must be when a person experiences those emotions more intensely and on an ongoing basis. Bring in speakers for your synagogue, school, office, or community to discuss vital topics in mental health. For example, when a convicted pedophile moved into our neighborhood, we invited a speaker to come and inform parents of how to talk to their children, and what signs to look out for. A seminary that noticed a prevalent problem of eating disorders in their students, contacted me at Get Help Israel to request a speaker who would lead workshops for students on body image and self-esteem. If you need help finding the right specialist to speak, please contact Get Help Israel at support@gethelpisrael.com and we will suggest qualified therapists in your area who can either be accessed for individual therapy or who are ready to come and talk to a larger group and share their wealth of knowledge. SHARE MENTAL HEALTH INFORMATION that you come across, whether it’s something you read online, on social media, or a book; you never know who’s suffering silently and would appreciate this information without having to ask. SHOW COMPASSION, NOT JUDGMENT: When someone opens up about their struggles, avoid saying “you should be able to…” or “get over it already.” Those messages will only make them feel worse about not being able to do what others expect of them. You don’t always need to provide a solution, just validating and being supportive sends the message that you’re not judging them. DON’T FAKE PERFECTION: We participate in the stigma by portraying the “perfect” self and hiding our own challenges. We see this a lot in parenting, in the workforce, and in academic achievement, among other examples. Internally, we might be experiencing anxiety, turmoil, or confusion, but externally, we work hard to show that everything is just great! What if we praised being real more than being perfect? Perhaps that big elephant will leave the room for good. Tanya Prochko, MEd, MFT is the Founder and Executive Director of Get Help Israel (GHI) – The Association of EnglishSpeaking Mental Health Professionals. She founded GHI with the purpose of providing English speakers with a trusted resource to easily access the help that they need. Tanya also has a private clinic in Jerusalem where she sees adults and couples using an integrative approach. To learn more about Get Help Israel, please visit www.gethelpisrael.com or email support@gethelpisrael.com with any questions. Tanya Prochko can be reached at tanya@gethelpisrael.com.

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Working Out – The Natural Prozac! By: Sherr ill Kaye

We have known for decades the physical benefits of regular exercise. It can trim your waistline, strengthen your muscles and bones and shape your physique. However, recent scientific studies are showing that it also has serious benefits for your mental health. Studies are showing that regular exercise and workouts can relieve stress, lower anxiety, improve memory and have a positive effect on people with depression and ADHD. With every aerobic workout your body releases hormones such as dopamine, serotonin and adrenaline. These help to regulate our mood and helps to keep us in a good one! These natural hormones help to keep our stress levels down allowing us to feel more relaxed and less tense. Exercise can help alleviate negative thoughts as you are so busy trying to get through a workout. Running, walking or biking through the beautiful outdoors has a calming effect. Perhaps you already felt this and thought maybe it was just in your head. Well, it is!! Your brain feels these positive benefits from your workouts. Don’t just take my word for it. The Harvard Medical School publication’s recently updated article from July 13, 2018 says,

“The mental benefits of aerobic exercise have a neurochemical basis.” Endorphins are powerful chemicals released in the brain during and after a workout that help to elevate your mood and make you feel good. The brain benefits of regular exercise are not only immediate after a workout. Although studies show that up to two hours after a good workout you reap the positive effects of increased focus, less stress and better mood, there are also long-term, mental health benefits. Neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki’s research shows that regular exercise helps the brain produce new brain cells that augment long term memory. This is revolutionary! She also found that consistent exercise helps increase attention and focus and keeps people in an overall better mood. If you think of your brain like a muscle, then you can understand that you are also increasing its volume like other muscles in your body. No one can yet cure diseases like Alzheimer’s and dementia, but you can potentially delay the time until these diseases have an effect. To hear her complete TED Talk on this subject: http://bit.ly/2I3zNup.

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This news gets even better. You do not have to be a super athlete and spend many hours a day in the gym to reap these rewards. Just thirty minutes of moderate physical activity three to four times a week will likely have a positive effect on your mind as well as your body. Everyone should start at their own level and find what works for you. Pick something that you enjoy even if it means working hard and pushing yourself. The feeling of accomplishment goes a long way in helping self-esteem. With all these wonderful benefits we often still make excuses why we don’t exercise. The following are some common excuses and tips on how to overcome them: 1) I really don’t have any time during the week. Solution: make sure on your day off to always include a workout. Studies have shown that even those who ONLY exercised on the weekends, also showed positive results in decreased stress and anxiety levels. 2) I hate the gym and gym equipment. Solution: Don’t go! There are so many other workouts and ways to exercise that don’t include stepping foot in a gym. Find something that suits you. Fitness classes, kick boxing, yoga, tai chi, bike riding, swimming and running just to name a few. 3) I’m afraid I won’t succeed. Solution: Have low expectations. Your exercise time is for YOU! Have as much fun as you can with it. Don’t make any demands on yourself except to get out and do it.

Be consistent, and with time you will succeed. Bottom line: Working out is great for your body and brain… What could be better? Sherrill Kaye is a Wingate Certified Fitness Trainer. She offers morning and evening fitness classes to women at all levels as well as Fitness Chugim to teenage girls throughout the school year. For more info see her ad on page 37.

Buying a Home in Israel? Wait… Did You Think about These Preliminary Steps? By: Amira Solow, Adv. & Notary Whether you are buying your first home in Israel, upgrading to a larger home or downsizing based on your family’s needs, there are preliminary steps you should take before even making an offer. This will help you ensure that the purchase is executed in the most cost-efficient way taking into account many crucial factors. 1. When choosing your home, you must evaluate the price vis-àvis your budget, but you also need to take into account many variables such as location, community, schools, shuls and commercial areas. The “market value” of a home can fluctuate heavily based on very subjective factors that are important to individual buyers. A highly-experienced broker can assist with relevant information to help you make a calculated decision. 2. Financing your home is probably the most crucial aspect of the purchasing process. Prior to agreeing on a price, sit down with a mortgage broker or a financial consultant and figure out both the capital you have as a down payment, and the mortgage you will be able to afford on a monthly basis, while

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taking into account your family’s monthly budget. If you do plan on taking a mortgage it is imperative you receive an initial approval from a mortgage bank – “Ishur Ekroni.” If the transaction is not right for you…walk away! 3. Once your offer is accepted, it is advisable to hire an engineer to survey and inspect the property. Every house has its issues! However, it is always preferable to know what issues your house has (both major and minor) before spending your life’s savings on a home. 4. Proper legal assistance will provide you with clarity, guidance and peace of mind while protecting your interests. You should ascertain that the seller holds legal title of the property and see whether there are any existing mortgages or liens. Your lawyer will ensure that the seller does not receive the initial down payment until your rights in the house have been properly protected.

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5. In addition, it is essential to perform an in-depth review of the legal state of the property. Many owners build additions to their house or have other construction done without obtaining the proper legal permits. This can be extremely problematic for buyers on two levels: Firstly, when taking a mortgage, an appraiser from the bank evaluates the property, however, only the legal areas are taken into account, which can cause the appraisal to be lower than the sale price, resulting in the bank offering a lower mortgage to the buyer. The second problem is that it may tamper the registration of the property in the buyer’s name. When obtaining a certificate from the municipality proving that all municipal taxes have been fully paid by the seller, the municipal inspector will note all additions and other construction that do not have the proper legal permits. Such irregularities will cause difficulties when trying to register the property in the buyer’s name. Addressing this issue in advance will be beneficial for both parties. 6. It is essential to do tax planning as early as possible. Israeli residents who are buying their first or only home are entitled to a discount on their purchase tax. New olim are also entitled to an “oleh discount” when purchasing a home. There are other purchase tax discounts for a person with a disability or family of terror victims. Buyers may purchase a property for investment in addition to a residential home. Proper tax planning and determining the order of executing each transaction, can be

extremely beneficial from a financial standpoint and will avoid having significant unexpected costs in the process. 7. Bonus tip. The home you picked is in a great location but does it meet your family’s needs? Consulting with an architect or an interior designer who reviews the plans and technical specifications before purchase, can provide you with a number of alternative ideas to maximize the potential of the home and have it fit best to your needs. Even if you don’t do all of the work initially you can plan to do it at a later stage. In conclusion, performing basic inspections and receiving proper advice will save you time and money and more importantly will help you minimize the risks when entering into such an important and significant transaction. __________________________________________________ Disclaimer: The information provided is of a general nature and should not be construed as legal advice. Amira Solow is a bilingual attorney with over 13 years of experience specializing in real estate and inheritance law in Israel. After graduating from the Law Faculty of Bar-Ilan University, Amira worked in the field of real estate and inheritance law runs her own firm - Solow Law offices. For additional information contact Adv. Amira Solow directly by email amira@solowlaw.co.il or phone 050-743519.

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An Aliyah Story:

We Followed Our Children - Rose and Gary Scharlat Twenty years ago, our daughter and son-in-law and three grandchildren made aliyah to Ramat Beit Shemesh and later to Efrat. For almost 16 years we came to visit at least once a year, sometimes two or even three times a year. I was in my 30th year of selling real estate. Gary was semi-retired and telling everyone that “We’re going to make aliyah.” Gary was writing the next chapter of our life while I was working, listing and selling houses saying, “We’re not making aliyah.” Then our son and daughter-in-law and five grandsons told us that they were making aliyah! I had to change my thinking. Our two children and all of our grandchildren and by now great grandchildren were living in Israel. Rosh Hashanah, four years ago we decided to come for five weeks with the idea of seeing what daily life was like living here. I was reluctant because I didn’t speak Hebrew, didn’t understand the money and how could I handle the supermarket. We stayed in Efrat to start, and came to Modiin for Sukkot. We had been to Modiin 20 years ago when there was a bowling alley, a restaurant and FOX in a strip of stores. What a difference today! Besides having our children here in Modiin, our former next door neighbors from West Orange live here. During our extended visit, they invited us for a Shabbat meal with three other couples that we didn’t know. They were all retired and had similar stories to ours – children living here or some in the States. We knew that we would have friends here. We felt very comfortable and welcomed in the shul too. I was beginning to see myself living here in Modiin. Of course Gary was already moving in! We went back to New Jersey. I had to have my second knee replaced before we could move. Being logical thinkers, we wanted to get here before Pesach so we would only have one Seder. I made arrangements for my surgery in January so that I would have three months to get back on my feet. We put our house on the market and sold it in one day. Had big garage sales to rid ourselves of our 50-year accumulation of stuff and prepared for our March 24, 2015 departure, a week before Pesach. Our Modiin family greeted us at the airport. Our daughterin-law who had made aliyah seven months before us guided us 26

through those first weeks of our transition. She was marvelous. She found us an apartment one block from the shul which was perfect for me after knee surgery. We met lovely neighbors and after arranging the painting of the apartment, buying all our appliances and furniture, we moved in six weeks later. We could not have asked for a better klita. Once we were in the apartment, we started meeting many people from all over with similar stories to ours. We were invited to many Shabbat meals with new and longtime friends. Several couples from West Orange had already moved here. One question we were asked was, “So what are you going to do now that you’re here?” I had thought I would continue as a real estate consultant to my clients of 30 years in the States. Gary, who had grown up on a farm in New Jersey, wanted to pursue his interest in Hydroponics and Aquaponics, but he thought it would take him about a year to find his way around. As it turned out one of the new couples that we met introduced him to a friend who had a garden plot in the Ecological Farm here in Modiin, Chava v’Adam. Their friend really couldn’t keep up with the work and was looking for someone to take it over. Gary stepped right in and has turned it into a flourishing fruit and vegetable garden. What can be better than working the land in Israel? He grows several types of lettuce, kale, red and green cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, cucumbers, eggplant, onions, tomatoes, kolrabi, fennel, peppers, potatoes, strawberries and more. There are avocado, pamelit, lemon and peach trees along with figs and a grape vine in his garden. Gary built all his raised beds from wood that he collected on the street. He is just about finished building his fish pond and strawberry tower. Our motto is “farm to table.” In addition, Gary volunteers one morning a week at the neighborhood school teaching English enrichment to

Continued on page 28

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Continued from page 26

second through sixth graders. The Buchman section of Modiin is a vibrant community in

every way – making friends of all ages from around the world and enjoying classes, cultural events, tiyulim and a shul with a caring rabbi and rabbanit. I found my niche at a Tehillim class sponsored by the English Speakers Levonah Chapter of Hadassah-Israel. It’s a dynamic, inspiring in-depth history study class. We’ve completed the entire book of Tehillim, celebrated with a siyum and are now studying Melachim. One thing leads to another. I attended a few of the Hadassah meetings, met wonderful new people and became active in the Chapter. I had never belonged to Hadassah in the States, but found

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this Chapter had very interesting projects and a direct connection to the Hospital. One of our members donated five paintings to the Chapter and suggested that we have an auction. Three years ago, we held our first Chanukah Chinese Auction, combined with a live auction and vendors. Those five paintings were the inspiration that resulted in 20,000 NIS to donate to Hadassah Hospital. Our third annual auction was held this November with a goal of raising 50,000 NIS. Last January, I became co-president of the Chapter. It fulfills my need to do something meaningful and to make a difference. I keep busy sharing my enthusiasm for all that’s happening at Hadassah Hospital. Because we had such a positive adjustment as seniors making aliyah, Nefesh B’Nefesh asked us to go back to the States and meet with seniors who have wanted to make aliyah, but have been unable to take the big step. Two years ago we went to the U.S. and had five meetings in five locations in New Jersey, New York and Florida. Several people that we met made aliyah last year. Looking back on the last three and half years, Gary and I feel that in our 54, almost 55, married years we made many good moves, but moving to Modiin is the very best. We love Modiin and are awed by this incredible country. We feel proud and honored to be able to live here. We don’t take it for granted that all our children, grandchildren and great grandchild are here in Israel. We learned early on to FOLLOW OUR CHILDREN!

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5 Tips for Preparing Your House for Winter By: Benny Jacobs

As we head into the winter months, it is important to prepare the house for the change in weather so that we may enjoy the rainy season inside a warm, dry house. This is important for everyone, whether one lives in a private house or in an apartment. Here are some tips on preparing your house: Preventing roof leaks: Ideally, it is best to act before any leaks occur and make sure that the roof is properly waterproofed. It is important to note that many leaks, especially when coming from the roof, are related to gutters and drains. When gutters are clogged, rainwater overflows because it has no place to drain, and if the roof is not sealed and

insulated, water begins to seep into the house. Therefore, it is important to clean the gutters before the winter and recheck them after the first rain of the season to ensure there are no blockages. Any time you go up on the roof, make sure to be safe and use a sturdy ladder. Clean by emptying leaves and other debris from the openings. In addition, wash the gutters and drainpipes. On flat roofs, remove dirt and mud, and wash the drainage area thoroughly. 2. Mold: Not only does mold smell bad, it can also pose a health hazard. Exposure to mold and mildew (i.e. bacteria) can lead to serious health problems. Over time, mold in the walls can lead to the development of chronic respiratory disease and even be fatal when inhaled. Children in particular are at risk, but

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adults might also be affected. Mildew can develop in damp areas due to poor sealing, especially in bathrooms where condensation is created. The temperature of the internal walls is always colder than the air in the room itself. Showering and bathing cause the temperature in the bathroom to rise, and when steam “collides” with the cold in the walls it creates condensation. Opening a window immediately after showering, especially on the coldest days of winter, will prevent the formation of steam and moisture on the walls that cause mold. If there is mold on the walls, the area can be cleaned with a damp cloth and bleach. However, it is important to know that when there is a problem of moisture and water absorption in the walls, there is no way to prevent mold formation. This is true with all moisture problems. They must be treated at the root and cannot be ignored. Cast iron stove (camin) maintenance: For proper operation of the heater, the air intake vents are critical. It is therefore vital to ensure that these openings are free from all debris. It is important to clean the chimney before the beginning of the season, and make sure there is nothing (e.g. a pigeon’s nest) that can damage the proper operation of the heating

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system. It is imperative to test the chimney’s insulation and integrity. It is also important to ensure that there is no crack in the connection between the chimney and the roof, which usually forms in summer because of the contraction and expansion of materials resulting from temperature and humidity fluctuations. Check all items attached to the roof: It is important to check the durability of anything connected to the roof such as antennae, water tanks, solar collectors, etc. It is a good idea to strengthen their fastenings to the roof. If there is a tiled roof, it is also important to inspect the roof for broken tiles and replace them. Thermal insulation: Look out for “sweating walls” – condensation, appearance of moisture, and swellings – indicating insufficient thermal insulation.

Benny Jacobs of Jacobs Projects (a licensed sealer with a license from the Israel Standards Institute) has been in the business of sealing roofs, walls, windows, and basements for close to 20 years. Work is done with high-quality materials. The company, certified to combat mold, uses the most advanced materials from the Italian company Atum Integrated Control. All work is done by Jacobs Projects’ professional and courteous staff. Tel. 052-3570000, 050-462-7370; email bmjacobs@gmail.com.

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Behind the Business: Green Land By: Caryn Meltz and Rachel Kops Tovi Richman made aliyah with his family when he was a young boy. The family (nine siblings, Tovi is the third oldest) moved to Mevo Modiim (aka “The Moshav”) which at that point functioned more like a kibbutz. William (Tovi’s father) was working in agriculture. When The Moshav changed its status, everyone had to look for employment and William decided to go into landscaping. Hashmonaim was being built up and populated so there was plenty of landscaping to be done. What was missing was 443 – it ended at Tzomet Shilat coming from Tel Aviv, so it meant driving on dirt roads to get from The Moshav to Hashmonaim. Tovi, from a young age, was exposed to working the land on The Moshav and also helping his father in his landscaping business. After high school, Tovi served in the army as a medic and a sniper in the paratroopers. After the army, Tovi went traveling – like many Israelis do – to South America and then to America. He stayed in Los Angeles for several months where he found work at a security company. He was Ozzy Osbourne’s bodyguard and then Pia Zadora’s! Quite the change from the life he knew in Israel. After several months of living the Hollywood life, Tovi decided that this was not the lifestyle he wanted and returned to Israel and The Moshav. He went on to get a degree in business from Touro College in Israel and then an MBA from Ariel University. Then it was decision time again of what career to pursue. After careful consideration, in 2003, Tovi decided to continue in his father’s footsteps and start a landscaping business of his own – and Green Land was born. It’s important for Tovi’s clients to know that landscaping is more than just gardening; it’s about understanding the soil, the surroundings, sunlight, 32

irrigation and so much more. Tovi grew up working the land and therefore knows so much from years of experience. Landscaping is in his b‫ ‏‬lood. He and his team (all Israeli workers) also attend conferences to keep up-to-date with the most recent technologies. Green Land is at the forefront of new technology in the landscaping industry, including smart irrigation systems that you can control from your phone, smart lighting systems and top of the line synthetic grass. You don’t need soil to have a beautiful garden. People who have a patio can have stunning patio gardens. The secret to success with new gardens is to think towards the future. There are so many possibilities when planning a garden. Tovi met his wife, Rosie, when they were kids. Years later they saw each other at an event on The Moshav, started dating and a year later were engaged. Rosie moved to The Moshav where they are currently living with their four children. Tovi volunteers as a search & rescue off-road terrain first responder. He is in direct contact with the police for any matters dealing with terror, crime or any other suspicious matters. Because of Tovi’s extensive knowledge of the back roads, he is an asset to the local authorities – he understands the area and can search more extensively. Tovi Richman can be reached at 054-634-1707; tovi@green-land.co.il; www.green-land.co.il. See ad on page 6.

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Modiin: Great City for Anglos By: Simmy Cohen

Six years ago I moved to Modiin from Ramat Bet Shemesh. I had wanted to make the move for a long time but moving to another city somehow seemed like making aliyah all over again. Did I really have the strength to do it all again? Yes, I was already used to being cut in line at the doctor’s office and countless other “only in Israel” moments but this seemed like another hurdle that matched with waxing legs. Do I really need to? Needless to say that once I did it, I was as nervous as starting high school in a new place. Would I make friends? Who will sit with me at lunch? Guess what? I didn’t even have the time to worry. There was a knock at the door every day with offer to help or an invitation for Shabbat lunch. I even got a basket from one of the shuls. It was amazing!! How was I supposed to be a Jewish mother if people aren’t giving me reasons to complain or feel sorry for myself? Fine! I loved the attention. It was amazing. Within a month I even had a chevra and even those who I didn’t see on a regular basis, felt like close and

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loving friends. Living in Modiin was definitely the best move I ever made. I get asked all the time how it is that Modiin became so popular. Our city not only has a large army presence but also a large amount of English speakers that make this city unique. Even places like Raanana don’t have the population that we do here in Modiin. So how did it all start? Let’s rewind to Israel’s 60th birthday. Just as in every aliyah package, there are incentives for making aliyah. Whether it be help with rent subsidies or tax discounts, this year was different. For the 60th birthday of Israel it was decided to offer extra incentive to people making aliyah if they were to move to specific cities. Modiin was one of those cities because it was a new and growing city and needed a boost. From then on friends and family of those who made aliyah to Modiin came in droves. The exodus to Modiin had begun. So how did this change things? We can start with the real estate market. When buying overseas, we, as Jews want to live with other Jews and only look in Jewish or religious areas. Simple enough. So when someone is thinking about aliyah, it’s like planning a move to Jupiter or Mars. It’s scary and daunting. So the first thing to do is speak to friends living in Israel and plan to move near them. The Anglo community is tight-knit and we all love to help our friends, family and acquaintances to take the plunge and live where Hashem intended for us to live. Once living here, your friends become your family. Their children become yours, your simchas and sorrows become theirs. Yes, our Hebrew doesn’t always improve by much and our English starts flying out the window and yes our kids are amazingly independent and free but speak English backward (my personal favorite “who’s saving on us” instead of "‫)"מי שמר עלינו‬, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I can’t imagine my life outside Israel and not out of Modiin. There is nothing like Modiin and I am thankful every day for everyone who I have met and touched my life – those who not only cooked for me when I was sick but also unpacked and packed my house with me when I moved, helped me clean for simchas and countless other things. Nothing is taken for granted. Simmy Cohen is a realtor working in Modiin for seven years and has been in the real estate business for 20 years. She started off in the Five Towns in N.Y. until she made aliyah in 2010. Contact Simmy with any questions or advice at 054-3413411 or Cohensimmy81@gmail.com.

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Dating in Israel By: Tzippi Sha-ked

You’re new to Israel, but you’re certainly not new to dating. You speak Hebrew fluently, or partially or…not at all. Still, you’ve made aliyah and you want to date. You’re 20, 30 or even 60 and you want to meet others from similar backgrounds. Or… You’re the child of Anglo parents and you’ve been raised here since you were small, or maybe you arrived as a teen and now you’re all grown and it’s time to start your dating life. Your parents raised you with Anglo sensibilities and your Israeli friends seem so different. Where to turn? They say necessity is the mother of invention. Well, I’m a mom and there was a necessity. So many of my friends who’d made aliyah, shared a concern about not having a forum for their “marriageable” children to meet fellow religious Anglo-Israelis. Of course, “it doesn’t have to be Anglo, but it helps that future grandchildren can speak in English to grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins living abroad,” they said. “Israelis have a ton of built-in social networks – why not Anglos who’ve made aliyah to Israel!”

Hmmm Three years ago, I created a closed online Facebook group for matchmakers (currently over 400) called Points of Contact (POC). Points of Contact’s aim is to set up religious Anglo olim and non-olim for purposes of marriage. The idea behind POC was to establish a database of Point People and singles. Point People are our “people in the field” – volunteer Anglo matchmakers in communities throughout Israel. Our Point People post Anglo-Israelis of marriageable age interested in finding a shidduch. These singles are either from within our respective communities or individuals we know from all around Israel. What’s the difference between this group and going to a professional Shadchan? When singles approach a matchmaker, the shadchan interviews them for an hour, finds someone in their roster to set them up with that they’ve also interviewed...for an hour. This process often works and when it does – great!

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Is that the only difference? No. The idea behind POC is to mix things up. Singles in Katamon can now be introduced to singles in Givat Shmuel. Students at the Technion can now mix with students at Ariel. People in Maalot can meet singles in Jerusalem. Oh and this service is free. By having Point People in most cities, communities and yishuvim, we have a network that can make a difference for Anglos and Anglo-Israelis ready to date. Enough of plugging POC. Let’s get down to tachlis. So, are there any differences with dating expectations here? Working with hundreds of single men and women – I would say the answer is yes. For the most part, nobody is handing a set of car keys to a newly minted seventeen-year-old Israeli driver. For the young folk – and this can apply for those in their late 20’s - going on a date is not as simple as calling up the gal (or the guy), hopping in a car and picking up the lucky date at the door. Rather, depending on where the date lives, it’s often a complicated dance of figuring out bus schedules, schlepping and then working out how long the date should last before having to head home in time for the last bus. My nephew in Tel Aviv has war stories regarding dating gals in Jerusalem. Just getting there, hopping on three buses, in traffic, makes him want to tear his hair out – and he’s already complaining of balding. Then there’s the actual date. Chances are, it’s not going to be a nice dinner that’s being suggested. Young people don’t have their parent’s credit cards to dangle in front of waiters. In fact, they are too busy paying rent, tuition and bus fare to be able to treat their date to anything fancier than coffee and a rugelach. Often, the meeting won’t take place in a restaurant but in a park or some other setting in nature. It’s very common for a tea thermos and biscuits to be brought along as conversational aides. More local dating habits: Time is not viewed as an absolute but as a mere suggestion. I will call you after 7:00 can mean a hasty text at 10:30 pm! Meet you at 6:00 can morph to 7:00 because the bus driver had an altercation with an angry passenger. If you’re dating an Israeli woman, expect more candor on average than from an Anglo date. (HOW COME YOU LOOK SO TIRED!) One of my singles (he’s forty and not yet a confirmed bachelor) tells me that Israeli women tell him EXACTLY what’s on their mind whether political, emotional or style related! Finally, for the Anglo women out there, Israeli men love the more natural look, so less make-up is often more and casual dress over “The Five Towns” look on most dates. This barely scratches the surface regarding local dating norms, but it’s a start. Tzippi Sha-ked moved to Israel from that other Golden Medina – California. When she’s not setting up Anglo-Israelis with their future bashert, she’s busy writing books. The Jews of South Africa: What Future? and Three Ladies Three Lattes: Percolating Discussions in the Holy Land are two of her books. Tzippi is happily married and a mother to five – two of marriageable age! Interested prospective matchmakers can contact Tzippi on Facebook: Tzippi Schechet. 37

Joyous Moments Photography By: Esther Simons

“Mazal Tov” I say to the mother and her newborn baby of 10 days as she walks through the door into my home photography studio. So, we know that a pregnancy lasts nine months, but how far in advance do you need to start preparing??? Today, parents want to preserve memories of their children from newborns until they leave the family home later in life. Professional photography for newborns (and even maternity photos) together with family photos are what I deal with on a day to day basis and I love every moment of it. Meeting new people and mainly being with beautiful newborn babies – a profession I dealt with for 18 years when I ran a mishpachton for tiny babies until a change in profession a few years ago. I have always been very passionate about babies and photography was a hobby of mine from a very young age. A lot of time, thought and preparation goes into each session even before mother and baby reach me. Many mothers call me early in their pregnancy and I 38

pencil the due date in my diary and after the birth they call me, and we set up a firm date for the photoshoot. The first stage is a telephone conversation with the new mother. First, after I know if it’s a boy or a girl, we set up the date – with the preferred date for the baby’s own comfort being up to 14 days, but with boys it is preferred to have the shoot before the brit. I then discuss with the mother her preferred colors (I have nearly every color and shade of the rainbow in my stock room) and what type of background props would appeal to her. I try my hardest to make each photo shoot totally individual and unique to each family and it is very important to me that no two shoots are identical. With today’s modern technology – we are becoming the generation that

takes the highest number of photos but together with that we also lose the largest number of photos as they are held in digital data sites and are often forgotten or lost. I therefore encourage my clients to consider printing – regular prints, canvases, albums and unique coffee table options. Esther Simons can be contacted at 053 3390468; estsimons@gmail.com; www.joyousmoments.co.il.

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Beit Medrash Program Lev Modiin Beit Medrash program is open for anyone who would like to commit to an evening or two or more of Torah study with a chavruta. Beit Medrash program is every night Sunday through Thursday 8:30 - 9:45 pm followed by Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ariv Pick a night and pick a topic and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be set up with a chavruta to learn whatever interests you. Lev Modiin Beit Medrash program is mainly for English speakers and i is hosted by Ayelet Hashachar, behind 7 Emek Zevulun, across from the Sports Center Hebrew speaking chavrutot available as well

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Refinancing Your Mortgage – Keep Your Money in Your Pocket By: Eyal Abramowitz What does it mean to refinance a mortgage? The simple answer is to take a new mortgage in order to repay an existing mortgage. The next questions that need to be asked are: When are you allowed to refinance a mortgage? Is it worthwhile i.e. will it save you money? How does one go about doing it? There are many other questions that need to be asked, but let’s start with these. Every mortgage that has been taken in Israel can be refinanced at any time the borrower chooses to do so. There are also no limitations as to the number of times a borrower can refinance over the term of the loan (although from a technical standpoint a mortgage can only be refinanced once as you are actually taking a whole new mortgage in the process). The reasons

for wanting to refinance will generally be to take advantage of lower interest rates that may be available and by doing so, save money over the term of the loan or to lower the monthly repayment or a combination of the two. Another reason to refinance may be the ability to increase the monthly repayment as a result of higher incomes. This will in turn enable the borrower to shorten the term of the loan and by doing so save money by paying less interest to the bank. A borrower may also choose to refinance the mortgage in order to lower the monthly repayment which will generally be accomplished by extending the term of the loan. Before starting the process of refinancing, it is important to note that there are also fees that are involved in the process that must be paid “out of pocket.” The most significant of these fees will generally be potential early payment charges the borrower may need to pay which will vary based on the structure of the borrower’s mortgage. In addition to the early payment fee, there is also a processing fee of 60 NIS, a 0.1% fee of the outstanding

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principal to be refinanced which is charged when no early warning is given to the bank (this will be waived if the bank receives 10 days’ notice), listing fees which will generally cost 500-750 NIS (will vary based on the land registrar the property is listed in) and a file origination fee (dmei ptichat tik) in the amount of 0.25% of the new mortgage. It is always important to remember that unless the borrower is looking to extend the term of the mortgage, it is not in the bank’s interest for a borrower to refinance a mortgage as less interest will be paid. As such, you should not expect that the bank will recommend this to a borrower, and any advice given by the banker as to the worthwhileness or lack thereof should be taken with a very large “grain of salt.” So, once we understand the reasons for refinancing and the costs that may be involved with the process, the real question is how much can actually be saved, and will it be worthwhile to go through with the process? The savings will of course vary from mortgage to mortgage, but there are certainly more than enough situations where a borrower can see long term savings in the tens and even hundreds of thousands of shekels. What is certain is that every borrower should make it his or her business to be aware of the terms of the mortgage, and my general recommendation is that borrowers should check the potential for savings at least once a year.

Another important factor to take into account when refinancing a mortgage is the structure of the mortgage package (tamhil mashkanta). Structuring a mortgage in different ways will drastically affect the total amount that will be paid to the bank as well as the monthly payments over time. This, rather than the interest rate alone, is the actual “key” to tailoring a mortgage to the borrower’s needs rather than the needs of the bank. Structuring a mortgage correctly is just as important for a potential borrower looking to get a mortgage for the first time as it is when refinancing an existing mortgage. Regardless of your situation, whether you are looking to refinance an existing mortgage or if you need a new mortgage you should always remember that although the title of the bank representative may be “mortgage consultant” or “adviser” and even if they are very nice and give you great service, their job is to sell you a mortgage that is most profitable for the bank. In simple terms this means that your interests may be different from theirs. Eyal Abramowitz is an independent mortgage consultant with more than 10 years of experience in the Israeli mortgage market as well as a founding member of the Israel Mortgage Consultants Association and a member of the Home Financing Consultants Association (HFCA).

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The Unfortunate Taboo

Surrounding Miscarriage and Stillbirth By: Yona Israel-Goldman Roughly 10 years ago we were spending Shabbat in Jerusalem at a hotel for a family simcha. Many of our family friends who lived in the neighborhood surrounding the hotel dropped by Shabbat afternoon to say hi. I was standing in the lobby and I saw a couple who were friends of one of my siblings. I had seen them a few months earlier at a mutual friend’s engagement party, she was eight months pregnant and we were excitedly discussing at what hospital she was going to be giving birth. I rushed over to say hi; I gave her a hug and I didn’t see a baby carriage. Not thinking anything more than they had just left the baby with her parents so they could have a few quiet moments, I said “Oh I wish you would have brought the baby!” Silence. The couple looked at one another and then looked at me and the wife said, “there is no baby... the baby died at birth.” At that moment I wished for an earthquake where I could have just fallen through the cracks of the floor. I felt terrible, not because it was clearly a very awkward and uncomfortable situation, but because I said something that caused them pain, because I had no idea that they lost the baby. You see that is how the story of miscarriage, pregnancy loss and stillbirth go. It happens all of the time, but it often happens in silence. One in four pregnancies will end in miscarriage (Mayo Clinic), and one in 160 pregnancies will end in stillbirth (CDC). These percentages represent people in our families, our communities and the world at large affected by these losses. If you think about it, those numbers are huge; yet for something of that magnitude people are awfully quiet. Fast forward a few years, I was at a point in my life where I knew I wanted a career change. I had always dreamed of working in women’s health and now was my time. I went back to school, received the certifications I needed to begin my new career and was on my way. I accepted a position in a hospital-based women’s health center where the responsibilities were intense. I was part of a labor and delivery team as a doula, I taught childbirth education classes, I did research connected to an international NIH NICU grant program, I facilitated breastfeeding at all hours of the day 42

and night... and I was called in when a baby died. Let me tell you – you can have the best of training – and I did. You can put on your professional face – and I did. You can mentally prepare yourself for what you were about to encounter – and I did, but no matter how many times you support a family through this tragic period of their lives, not a time goes by that your heart does not break. I realized that as heartbreaking as it was to hold space for these families in those devastating moments, the reality was that I, and everyone else around me, was surrounded by these families who had experienced loss, but you would have never have known because people don’t talk about it. There’s an unfortunate taboo that people think that families who have experienced a pregnancy loss or stillbirth want to close their doors, draw the shades and be left to grieve uninterrupted until they are “feeling better” and ready to move on. As my friend who lost a baby says “you never move on, you can move forward, but you never move on.” And “feeling better” well when your heart is broken into a million pieces you might never feel better, or at least you will never feel the same. But those families want you to show up. They want you to rally around them. They don’t want you to cross the street when you see them coming down the road. They want you to ask what the baby’s name is and how they are doing. They don’t want you to try to make sense of their loss. They don’t need you to figure out the reason why this happened. They just need you to say that you don’t know what to say, but you are here for them in any way that they need. I’m often asked, “how did you even get into this field of work?” The answer is, that as a doula I feel that there is no greater honor than to be invited to share in the very intimate space of birth. It’s such a vulnerable, raw, emotion filled time in someone’s life – and they ask you to join them! You hold a very important responsibility of earning their trust, of amplifying their voice, and of helping them to achieve the birth they hope for. When everything goes right, and a healthy baby is born and you have

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been a part of that – you become part of those amazing memories that a mother will carry with her for a lifetime. However, when everything goes terribly wrong, and decisions need to be made quickly, and you have the knowledge, experience and the ability to see not only what the family needs in that moment but to help them with things they don’t know they will need – not today, not tomorrow, but in years to come, then you have also become part of their life in an indescribable way. Some of life’s roads can be long and hard but if you get the opportunity to walk with another person on the complicated parts of their journey, then your path as well as theirs is a better one.

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Tel: 0 50 7- 6 8 320 6 Email: orgorencure@gmail.com Yona Israel-Goldman is a doula and childbirth educator Trained by DONA as well as Still Birth Day (advanced certification in dealing with pregnancy and infant loss). Yona has completed over 3500 hours in the labor and delivery ward of Danbury Hospital (Danbury CT) helping women have safe, memorable, and empowering birthing experiences. Yona will be a guest lecturer this coming January in Modiin at a special program for women, stay tuned for details. Yona can be reached at yonaisrael@gmail.com.

Healthy Living By: Dina Solomon

Every year is a unit unto itself with its own mission and its own goals. It is so easy to do tomorrow what you did today and today what you did yesterday. If we want to experience a change in our lives we must initiate it by doing something new. Changing even one habit or taking on just one new habit will cause your whole life to change. We all make our New Year resolutions and begin the year with the best of intentions, but all too often the paths we have walked before draw us back and we find our resolve slipping. Rather than trying to turn your life upside down. begin with one small change to avoid the frustration of being overwhelmed and giving up altogether when you fail. The world really is created anew every day, but in order to experience the miracle it is necessary to wake up early in the morning. These days that sounds like a radical statement. The night is so full of tantalizing options. Facebook, emails, internet searches, movies, have all taken over the hours when we need to be sleeping! Instead of becoming more time efficient we now fill our every moment and are left with little time to reflect or take notice of the simple pleasures which are so essential to health.

Commit to taking a 20-30 minute walk a few times a week and give up listening to the news during meals. In fact give up doing anything besides chewing your food and tasting it during meals!! If one of your goals is to drop a few pounds, and who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have that goal, instead of depriving yourself of your favorite foods, make the recipe yourself from the best quality healthy ingredients. More and more people are realizing the value of eating organic produce whenever possible. Skip the supermarket aisles that display only packaged and processed foods and aim for the outer aisles where the fresh produce is displayed. Always choose whole unrefined grains, legumes, seeds and nuts and limit your intake of animal products which are mostly full of hormones

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and antibiotics. Produce can be rinsed in water with a teaspoon of baking soda to remove a good amount of pesticides. Now that so many people have gluten sensitivity, the big corporations have begun producing many gluten free products. Beware of these foods as many are highly processed and full of unhealthy ingredients like high fructose corn syrup, sorbitol, refined vegetable oils and preservatives. If you cannot pronounce the ingredients on a package or the list is impossibly long you don’t want to be eating it. It is also possible to be a vegan junk food addict. Just because a food contains no animal products does not make it healthy. I was recently in New York where a restaurant marked “Vegan heaven” was basically a glorified overpriced falafel stand. Deep fried food in processed and refined vegetable oil can hardly be considered healthy even if it is vegan. Use your common sense and don’t be fooled by the marketing geniuses. Take a deep breath and pay attention to how the foods that you eat make you feel. Your body is always communicating with you. Eat less, smile often, walk on the beach, sit under the night sky, call a friend, and most of all, enjoy the journey.

Try these simple gluten-free flax seed tortillas: 1 cup golden flax seeds, ground 1/2 tsp each of salt, garlic powder and turmeric 1/4-1/3 cup boiling water Place the ground seeds in a bowl and add all the other ingredients. It will form into a soft dough. Let it rest until it cools, about 15 minutes. Cut it into 4 equal pieces and place a sheet of parchment on the table. Place one piece at a time on the parchment and place a plastic bag on top. Roll out into a thin circle. Lightly spray a frying pan with olive oil and peel the circle off the parchment sheet and place directly onto the pan. Cook on each side about 2 minutes. These are very light and delicious tortillas that take only minutes to make. They are low carb and loaded with good for you omega 3. They are flexible and roll up beautifully. Fill with guacamole, chopped veggies, beans, or grated cheese, hummus, or anything that you like. Double the recipe as needed. Dina Solomon is a health enthusiast, yoga teacher and whole foods chef. She presently has a small business selling raw flax seed crackers. She can be contacted at 054-8067687.

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Modiinfo Winter 2018

Articles inside

Modiinfo Winter 2018