NORTH BAY BOHEMIAN | JULY 11–17, 2012 | BOHEMIAN.COM
6
BOHEMIAN
Rhapsodies The 51st State
An open proposal to Hillary Clinton BY STEPHEN GROSS
D
ear Secretary: What better way to solve the illegal immigration problem than to annex Mexico, give it commonwealth status and turn all those illegals into instant legals? No more surreptitious sneaking back and forth, no more sucking off our colonial teats, no more bitter, largely uneducated “second class” citizens depleting resources that are under another country’s stewardship, no more avoiding taxes and sneering in the face of the U.S. legal system by making a dash for the border. After all, if we’re truly the Land of Plenty, let’s accommodate the “tired, poor and huddled masses yearning to be free.” Mexico is largely a lush, sprawling land of rich diversity and tremendous natural resources. All we have to do is “adopt” Mexico and its citizenry; rid the country of its corrosives, toxins, gangsters, murderers, political corruption and unbridled mayhem; make it a bit more hygienic, ecologically responsible and less polluting; mandate that it take concepts such as civil liberties, women’s rights and kindness to other creatures more seriously; and reevaluate its national priorities. No more fences or slinking across the border via the Coyote Express. No more of this macho, bad boy Sureño vs. Norteño crap. No more greedy vicious cartels terrorizing folks with impunity. The Mexican people would gain legal status and all the benefits and responsibilities that go along with it. If English-speaking Canada can tolerate (and coexist with) Quebec, than we should be able to swing a deal with Mexico. After all, we’re already a bilingual country—look at much of our signage and packaging! And if you think the U.S. annexing Mexico isn’t such a great idea, perhaps Mexico would like to annex us. The turbulence that continues to churn up the Rio Grande foams with toxins, corrosives and heartache. Krazy Killer Kartels out of control, wholesale beheadings, murder, mayhem. NAFTA doesn’t work, Mexicans stream across the border, melt into the migratory menudo, cut your lawn, feed your kids . . . and become “virtual” citizens sans documentation. I think the best way to get control over these issues is to legalize marijuana and annex Mexico. We bring 100 million people under our beneficial national umbrella, make sure they’re fed, educated, repaired and happy, and we get to share in Mexico’s bountiful, largely untapped natural resources. We’ll have more room, more cultural wealth and geophysical diversity, cheaper ganja, and a greater world presence—and less hostility, divisiveness and poverty. Stephen Gross is a writer, editor and photographer from Guerneville.
Stuffed Up
Interesting article (“Opportunity Quacks,” June 27). I’m for anything that would diminish the consumption of fatty, arteryclogging foods that result in illness and medical expense. Slaughtering animals is also not high on my list of priorities for having a good time. The forcefeeding and limited exercise endured by ducks before their slaughter for this little treat is outrageous. I’m not aware of an underground market for veal, so I’m hoping the predictions along those lines regarding foie gras will prove unfounded. Kudos to Ms. Abrahams for an informative, thought-provoking article.
ROD HAMMERSLEY San Francisco
In the seven years that the California foie gras industry had the opportunity to explore alternative foul-stuffing methods, nothing was done. Shocking, the law went into effect anyway. It appears a lot of time and effort is being put into circumventing the law and developing a black market. Pshaw. That effort should have been put into exploring and researching more humane efforts of foie gras production. Eduardo Sousa in Spain raises his geese and lets them gorge themselves. At least one chef in New York is working to recreate that sustainable method. So stop sniveling and conniving, and get it together.
MARTI KRAMER Glen Ellen
Canal Vision Those who oppose the “Peripheral Canal” fail to include all of the facts in their arguments, because the facts do not support their position (“Delta Blues,” July 4). Claims that a canal would
“remove so much water” are just that—claims. Operational limits of a proposed canal have yet to be finalized, yet draft elements of the Bay Delta Conservation Plan already include limits on exports when natural river flows are lower.
There are a myriad of factors impacting salmon (and other fish) populations, including water quality, invasive species, predatory fish and ocean conditions. A recent report by the National Research Council stated that improving ecological conditions in the Delta will fail if they don’t target multiple stressors, contrary to the constant drumbeat calling for a reduced water supply for farms, homes and businesses. The Sacramento River fall Chinook escapement, ocean harvest and river harvest index clearly shows population (and harvest) peaks in 1988, 1995 and 2002 with corresponding dips in the intervening years. It is normal to expect a rise in salmon numbers now and in the next few years, and that’s exactly what we’re seeing. Blaming the pumps or deliveries of water that flow through the Delta as the primary cause of reduced salmon populations is simply an exercise in hiding the facts.
MIKE WADE California Farm Water Coalition
Thank you for sharing Alastair Bland’s article “Delta Blues.” As an employee with the Department of Fish and Game, I work closely with the state, the fish markets and fishermen (and women) who have studied these iconic species for decades. Many consumers and amateur fishers do not realize that hatcheries produce the majority of the Chinook populations, and that very few are in fact “wild salmon.” The DFG regulations and monitoring tactics for our salmon populations are impeccable. However, the requirements for sustaining a bountiful and economically dependable