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Grab your Golden Ticket and Enter the Musical Gates of the Most Marvelous, Magical, and Mysterious Chocolate Factory in the World! Recommended for age 7 and above. This is a full length, two-act play.
Nov. 26, Dec. 2 and 3 at 8 PM Nov. 27, Dec. 4 at 7 PM Nov. 27, Dec. 4 at 2 PM Nov. 28, Dec. 5 at 12 PM and 4 PM
ASL Interpreted Performance Friday, Dec. 3 at 8 PM
Santa Rosa Junior College
Burbank Auditorium, 1501 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa CA 95401
Box Office: 707.527.4343 Buy Tickets Online:
www.santarosa.edu/theatrearts
PARKING PERMIT REQUIRED ON-CAMPUS 7 DAYS A WEEK, 24 HOURS A DAY
Roald Dahl’s WILLY WONKA is presented through special arrangement with Music Theatre International (MTI). All Authorized performance materials are also supplied by MTI. 421 West 54th Street, New York, NY 10019 Phone: 212-541-4684 Fax: 212-397-4684 www.MTIShows.com
26
11.24.10-11.30.10
THE BOHEMIAN
685C 6D834
“You can wear these for five days in the jungle!� he shouted, pelvis thrust out and covered in the best synthetic fiber nature had to offer. This is where luxury meets utility, and then becomes slightly awkward at group gift exchanges and dorm-style living situations. The basic premise is that travelers, athletes and outdoorsy people need something more evolved than old cotton briefs to keep from getting adult diaper rash—but it doesn’t stop there. The next generation in unmentionables is well-cut, bacteria resistant, spun from the best breathable, wicking superfiber du jour, and promises the type of longevity between launderings previously considered indecent. Five days seems to be the industry standard for how long a person can reasonably wear a pair of super-undies. Don’t ask why; ask how. The two main fibers for highperformance underwear are wool and synthetic. Each has its advantages. Wool has basically been reinvented in the last decade. It still has an amazing capacity to keep one cool or warm, but it’s not scratchy anymore, it’s not heavy, and it’s not cheap—these wooly wonders can cost upward of $40. Still, there are at least three companies making high-tech knitwear for the nether regions: Icebreakers, Smartwool and Ibex. They don’t all have cute names, but they all seem to come in a “hipster� variant, which presumably refers to anatomy and not skinny, underachieving twenty-somethings. Ibex has the distinction of offering a “Balance thong,� aptly named as it splits the old peach right down the middle. It’s a deal at only $25, and even comes with an inspirational quote in its elastic band. Sadly, it’s only available for women right now, but do look for the Balance banana hammock in time for Christmas 2011. Patagonia basically has the market cornered on high-tech, high-priced synthetics. Wool may be the closest (politically correct) thing to your own skin, but synthetics have their own appeal. Patagonia’s synthetics are recycled, or at least made from recycled materials. They’re lighter than wool (so
you can afford to pack an extra pair for the journey), but still claim all the same keep-you-dry, odor-vanquishing, quick-dry properties as wool. If $40 for woolies still sounds steep, synthetics run about $20. Bounding, pelvis-thrusting Argentinean not included.—Kylie Mendonca
Virtual Freakage It seems like just yesterday everyone was talking about the “Hot Coffee� cheat code in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. The modenabled, fully clothed mini sex scene hidden in the code caused a legal stir, and subsequent copies of the title removed it altogether. But simulated sex isn’t the only concern parents might have in purchasing the latest video game release. As everyone knows, video games contain violence too. Here’s a look at some of this year’s games that parents are sure to get in a tizzy over. Alongside a summary of lurid gaming details, we’ve added a parent-freakage point guide to rate the game’s level of concern. It ain’t Avatar, but for some reason Sam Worthington is voicing lead character Alex Mason, an agent who blows shit up for the United States in the game Call of Duty: Black Ops ($60), set in the 1960s. In this gun opera, players can shoot limbs off of enemies and deliver a direct head shot to Fidel Castro—take that, communism! In one level, Mason meets up with President John F. Kennedy and points a hand gun at him. Yes, that’s in this game. Afterward, gamers can play a zombie death mode as John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Robert McNamara or as Fidel Castro. Parent freakage points: 9/10. Parents looking for some girl power in video games for their daughters might find it enticing at first, but Bayonetta ($20) basically makes the player feel like a dirty pervert. Female demon slayer Bayonetta doesn’t wear clothes in the traditional sense; as it turns out, Bayonetta’s “clothing� is simply her own hair wrapped around her body, like skin-tight S&M leather clothing. As Bayonetta players chain together multiple attacks with each successful blow, she becomes increasingly naked. Bayonetta’s