ISLAND created by local Island women
gals
INCLUDED IN THIS ISSUE
SHARING INSPIRATION, MOTIVATION, HUMOUR AND INFORMATION
CATHERINE MOFFAT
overcome
ASTRI WRIGHT
instill
LYNNE DUQUESNE
prepare
JOYCE BEZUSKO
honour
CELEBRATING AND CONNECTING THE WOMEN OF VANCOUVER ISLAND AND BEYOND Volume 2 Issue 4
COVER
In This Issue
Water Drops by Janet Bauer
Just a Drop in the Bucket ...
Maybe buckets aren’t meant to be filled?
Eco Therapy
Ann Baird shares the waves
At Least I Don’t Live Here
Catherine Moffat and how it eventually can be funny
Between Two Countries
Carolyn Burns and where home really is
Spotlight
Nancy Brown shares Astri Wright with the rest of us
Being Mindful of my Words
Emily Madill shares the power of what we say
Life Can Change
Janice Hayward and the joy of new beginnings
Resident People Tweaker
Ally Rees and decisions, decisions, decisions
Betrayal
Kate Larsen wraps up her journey to paradise
Zonta in Rwanda
Vernice Shostal shares Zonta’s continued mission
STOP!
Sarah Daviau and how ‘late’ just isn’t a good thing
Binding Threads
Gifty Serbeh-Dunn shares her gratitude
Sharing Our Bread
Terry Dance-Bennink and breaking life’s bread
Reincarnation
Ulla Jacobs in conversation...
Women in Wine
Deborah Wickins interviews a local wine gem
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Do you have a favourite island photo you’d like to share? Send it to: stories@islandgals.ca and your photo may be on the next cover.
...And Know They Are Hurting
Maureen Eykelenboom and a difference
A Celebration of Life
Joyce Bezusko on loss and remembrance
Pages for You
Dona Anderson and how to get in touch with you
How I Got to Be
Elaine Lakeman and and her defining past
Travel Tips
Donna Lynch with tips for easy travel
Cover Girl
Janet Bauer and how it all began
A Legacy of Love
Pattie Whitehouse and gifts of our lifetime
Are We Prepared?
Lynne Duquesne and what we need to know
Garden Party
Grace Cockburn and the greens of winter
Your Horoscope
Linda Standidge and what’s on the horizon
For the Love of Food
Sally Rae Dyck and the turkey leftover dilemma
ISLAND
created by local island women
gals
SHARING INSPIRATION, MOTIVATION, HUMOUR AND INFORMATION
Volume 2 Issue 4
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CELEBRATING AND CONNECTING THE WOMEN OF VANCOUVER ISLAND AND BEYOND 2
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But it’s just a drop in the bucket...
OR IS IT ? by Johanna Socha
I love old sayings and expressions... I think they stand the test of time for a few reasons: They’re fun to use, they come in handy and they’re usually true. But I’ve always had a bit of a skewed outlook on some of those ‘feel good’ expressions. Here are a few of my favourites and my take on them: The cup is either half empty or half full. —Get a bigger cup and you won’t have to worry about how you feel about it. Everything happens for a reason. —No, sometimes things just happen, and they’re bad, so stop wasting your time trying to find a reason. If I had a nickel for every time... —Then I’d have a big heavy bag of nickels that I could swing at the next person talking about their cup being half full. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck —It may walk, talk and quack like a duck, but sometimes it’s wearing a really well-fitted duck suit. Take the high road. —Where’s the fun in that? And finally: It’s just a drop in the bucket. —Yep. And usually it’s a really big bucket and drops are so tiny and insignificant, so why bother? The bucket probably has a hole at the bottom anyway. Well this last saying has come back to kick me repeatedly in the proverbial...bucket.
In the last two years, Island Gals magazine has been my bucket. In the beginning I had this empty bucket I carried around and showed to some incredible women who had their own buckets they were filling up, one drop at a time. Funny how women who have buckets they are trying to fill are more than willing to share. And they continue to. Maureen Eykelenboom, founder of Boomer’s Legacy (page 24) clarified that expression for me one day by saying, “eventually the bucket fills up.” But the beauty of our Island Gals is that their buckets all seem to have spouts— filling up other buckets. Maureen! Maybe that means the bucket shouldn’t fill up! Maybe it’s just supposed to be thankful for every drop that is contributed, and pay it forward by finding someone whose bucket may need a little help filling up, and hopefully they’ll install some spouts in their own buckets and ... Maybe the buckets are meant to be kept at a nice steady level, with spouts added for sharing when someone else’s bucket is a little low. One drop at at time. I wonder what would happen if we turned up the tap a little.
Publisher’s Note We’d love to hear from you! Write to us with your comments at: publisher@islandgals.ca
I am unwritten Can’t read my mind I’m undefined I’m just beginning The pen’s in my hand Ending unplanned I break tradition Sometimes my tries Are outside the lines We’ve been conditioned To not make mistakes But I can’t live that way Staring At the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words That you could not find Reaching For something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten ~Natasha Bedingfield Unwritten
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Life can change... At the snap of your fingers
In the blink of an eye By Janice Hayward
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. ~Nelson Mandela
M
y life has changed drastically since the passing of Ron, my husband, my partner, and my best friend. When I reflect on the past 21 months (at the time of writing this article), I realize how much I have done: single-handing my 45’ sailboat over 2,500 nautical miles, crewing home from Hawaii aboard Red Heather, renovating a house, volunteering for the Women on Water committee, appealed and won benefits that I was denied, as well as being Mom and Minnie (that’s what my granddaughters call me) to my kids and my grands. So, what’s a girl to do now? She registers for photojournalism school. Yes, folks! You read correctly. I am a full time student at the Western Academy of Photography (WAP) in their Written Image program. It is a full time (Monday–Friday) course from September to June. Am I mad? Sometimes I believe I am! Zones, prepositional phrases, circles of confusion, conjunctions, spot metering and dangling modifiers have invaded my life. Prior to September, I would not have known what these terms meant. I can tell you now they have everything to do with either writing or photography. I dream about commas, quotation marks, F-stops and shutter speeds. The past three months have been extremely technical. While family and friends have been kind to admire my skills, the instructors have been honest in their critiques. This experience has been humbling yet rewarding. I knew, going in, that I would be putting myself out there, not only to the instructors but to the other students as well.
Oh, and did I tell you that I am the oldest. It is a strange place to be in life – the oldest (by far) in the class. Student’s ages range from, 19 to 56 (that would be me). We come from a variety of backgrounds and cultures. Conversations toggle between photography, opinions (on most everything under the sun), grammar, frustrations, life experiences, composition and time management. As you can see they are all over the map. We have profound conversations and we learn from each other. I respect my classmate’s point of view, I envy their energy and I admire their talent. I cannot tell a lie - the program is tough; I am challenged. All of us are at the point where we feel like our writing belongs in the shredder and our photographs belong in the recycle bin. “This is normal,” Andrea Kucherawy, WAP’s Program Manager said. Another instructor explained that with the learning, comes a higher expectation and without realizing it, each of us has raised our own bar for excellence. WOW! This is powerful. I am throwing paint on my canvas of life. I am in a stage of discovery; discovering who I am and what my new dreams will be. The education and skills that I will take away from WAP will arm me to take on new beginnings. All I know is that I want to do some good in the world, for the world. I do not know what that looks like yet. I know it will unfold as my talents mesh with opportunity.
In the previous edition of Island Gals, Janice introduced us to her life with husband Ron Harris. Ron passed away from mesothelioma on February 13, 2011. Visit rootinforron.blogspot.com to follow their journey of living and dying with cancer.
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a celebration of life dedicated to Peter Joseph Kosid
M
ost of you who have read my past articles know that I try to split my time between Maui and Vancouver Island. I love and respect both Islands almost as much as I love and respect life. I did say almost, for I know that wherever you are in our masterfully designed globe, life is precious. Allowing yourself some solitude or time to reflect on what is truly important is something I think we don’t often permit ourselves to do, at least not enough. This year we departed early for Maui to allow plenty of time for much needed rest & healing. Two+ weeks into our time on Maui, I received a phone call from my sister-in-law wailing that my 28 year old nephew had been shot in the back and killed in a hunting incident. He carried a bow and arrow, the other guy carried a rifle. They were not together. Nothing can prepare you for such tragic news. For three days my husband and I cried and tried to console our family back home as well as each other. Finally, in the morning, after one of the most challenging nights, I said to my husband “Enough. Let’s go and celebrate the life of this wonderful human being, P.J.,” as he was so fondly called.
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by Joyce Bezusko
W Actually I used to call him “Peach,” which was even a more affectionate name. After packing a marker pen, a camera and some refreshments, we drove high into upcountry, above the lavender fields where, we found a beautiful stand of eucalyptus trees. P.J. was such an avid lover of nature and I think if he could have slept with a tree, he would have. We chose the strongest tree with limbs outreached far and a patch on the tree where the bark had worn away. There with a Sharpie pen, I simply wrote; P.J. 11/11/12. I truly felt his presence and as we walked away, I noticed a small green bench about 1½ ft. off the ground. It looked as though it had just been placed there for the occasion. I could swear P.J. was sitting there observing our celebration of his life and recognition of his accomplishments. Here was a young man, full of life and at 28 had reached his goals. He had the life he was dreaming, his special wife, two beautiful children and the job he had always wanted. He wasn’t just a dreamer, he was a doer. Then in a heart beat, through a poor judgement call, he was taken from us. Can you think of the number of times we hear that someone has been bullied, ridiculed or treated so poorly you wanted to save that person from the other’s nasty behaviour?
ISLANDgals.ca
hy can’t people love and respect others? Be more tolerant of others? Children are being destroyed mentally, physically, emotionally. Suicides are happening. Life is precious and for some strange reason so many in society have lost the value of what we are worth. It seems like our lives are taken for granted and the attitude towards our existence is totally immaterial. I don’t believe my sweet nephew died in vain. Perhaps it was so that we all take a step back and realize the importance of one another. Perhaps it is to bring those of us who have been apart for a very long time—together again. Perhaps it is because I am able to write this article and reach many readers. We will never know until we meet our maker, but I do know one thing; This is a time to reflect and value our lives as well as the lives of each and every one that has been placed in our path, and then some. I think it’s time to be thankful for the life we have been given. To quote one of my favourite people in ministry, Joel Osteen, “As long as you have breath, someone needs what you have.”
keep your dreams high and your spirit higher Joyce Bezusko crafts her original jewelry at her studio in Parksville and displays at Island shows and fine galleries on both Vancouver Island and in Maui, Hawaii. www.divadeserves.com
party GARDEN by Grace Cockburn
R
ecently, as we picked late carrots and the first winter greens, and the gingko blazed yellow in the fog, I found myself marveling at the garden. I do so little—dig a hole, pop in a seed or plant, add a little water and manure now and then. In return I receive a park, a grocery store, a zoo, and a miraculous machine that makes oxygen, sequesters carbon, and that stores, recycles and purifies water. It is an endless source of solace and restoration (okay, also frustration now that the zoo includes deer).
To a list of miracles, I would add gardens.
W
ith carefully chosen plants, the garden can invoke its magic year round. It’s easy for a garden to be beautiful in June, it’s more challenging in January, especially since we rarely get snow to cover up the bare spots. The secret, of course, is evergreens— not pines and firs necessarily, but a range of broadleaf evergreen shrubs and perennials. These garden stalwarts grow beautifully here. They play nicely with the roses and lilies of summer, but come into their own in winter, adding critical structure and visual interest. These plants are also excellent as winter “cut flowers”, the foliage lasting for weeks in a vase. They can also be added to wreaths and other seasonal decorating. Several options are listed below. There are many varieties of each, including dwarf ones for smaller gardens, and many come in variegated and non-variegated forms. Many offer flowers and berries as well as evergreen foliage. Some, marked with an asterisk, are BC or North American native plants. For more information, do a Google search on any of these plant names, or search the websites of local nurseries for more information. Evergreen shrubs include rhododendron, escallonia, Japanese laurel (Aucuba), pieris, magnolia (grandiflora types), camellia, boxwood and “boxwood honeysuckle” (Lonicera nitida), laurel, huckleberry*, Japanese aralia (Fatsia japonica), California lilac* (Ceanothus), euonymus, and various hebes. Evergreen shrubs which bloom in winter (and are often intensely fragrant) include sweetbox (Sarcococca ruscifolia), skimmia, daphne (Daphne odora), and Oregon grape* (Mahonia). Perennials and groundcovers include wintergreen*(Gaultheria procumbens), which is a delightful low-growing plant with enormous red berries (and the original source of wintergreen flavouring.) Others include Christmas roses (Hellebore), which bloom in midwinter; wintercreeper; evergreen ferns*; coral bells (Heuchera), a spectacular foliage plant in a multitude of colours, and with flower sprays beloved by pollinators; Dusty Miller (Senecio cineraria); and a variety of grasses and sedges, the latter being especially tolerant of winter wet. Deciduous shrubs with coloured bark, such as red osier dogwood, or with contorted branches like corkscrew hazel (Corylus avellana “Contorta”) add an architectural element both strong and airy. Berried shrubs, including rose hips, beautyberry*(Callicarpa Americana), snowberry*, pyracantha and others, provide a pop of colour.
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ISLANDgals.ca
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ost of these plants fit seamlessly into the landscape. Dusty Miller can be a little harder to place. Usually treated as an annual, it is commonly used as an edging plant in summer. But with good drainage, it is perennial in our climate. I like to place two or three together, about a foot apart. Planted this way, they take on the visual weight of a small shrub, and make a good substitute for wormwood (Artimesia) which won’t tolerate wet feet at all. Especially beautiful in a silver vase, Dusty Miller will last for weeks, either alone or with other blooms. Cut back hard in spring, it quickly grows back. Please don’t grow English holly or English ivy, which are invasive in our climate. You can grow false holly (Osmanthus) which is a handsome shrub with glossy holly-shaped leaves. Grow ivy in a pot indoors if you must, or use wintercreeper (Euonymus fortunei), a well-behaved groundcover, plain or variegated, as an excellent substitute. Aesthetics aside, winter plants also provide essential food and shelter for birds, native pollinators and predatory insects, frogs, lizards and other small creatures. We need to understand that as much as they now depend on us, we depend on them. Without pollinators and the pest control offered by our fellow inhabitants on this increasingly fragile planet, we will not eat. In the urban and suburban landscape, gardens must help replace lost habitat, and can form critically important corridors between larger ecological niches. Stanley Kunitz, the remarkable American poet and gardener, said this: “The garden, at its best . . . leads to an appreciation of the natural universe, and to a meditation on the connection between the self and the rest of the natural universe.” The longer I garden, the more I understand this to be true. May the season be generous with its blessings to you and yours.
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Grace Cockburn grew up on the prairies, and relocated to Vancouver Island in 1973, where she married, raised two sons, and has been gardening ever since. She loves to cook and preserve the garden’s bounty, and to introduce her grandson to the delights of strawberries warm in the sun. She is also a poet, and is now retired, leaving her with even fewer excuses for the weeds that just keep coming back!
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ISLAND created by local Island women
gals
SHARING INSPIRATION, MOTIVATION, HUMOUR AND INFORMATION
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CELEBRATING AND CONNECTING THE WOMEN OF VANCOUVER ISLAND AND BEYOND