Cupcake Mafia: Sisterhood Through Fashion Do Men
Have A Right To Strike Back?
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REASONS WHY BEING SINGLE MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU
Back to School Guide for Moms
R & B Ang ie B
B ANGIE B, BACK UP AGAIN The Mc Hammer Protégé Talks Music, Men And Life’s Meaning
Editor-in-Chief, Annette Johnson Managing Editor, Morgan Hufstader Fashion & Beauty Editor, Renee Knorr Editorial Consultant, Wayne Carely Design Director, Joey Shepherd Marketing Director, Veronique Thomas Cover Photography, Kevin Goolsby Contributors: Cory Albertson Linnet Brown Alicia Emamdee Merhwit Fitwi Dana Fox Peggy Hattendorf Katrina Holt Cassandra Hooker Tamara King Stephan Labossiere Beth Marshall Lorii Myers Aimee Raupp Kim Seals Sydney Thomas Customer Service For subscription service or change of address, including email, contact info@hersmagazine.net or write to P.O. Box 1071, Atlanta, GA 30301 Hers (ISSN 2372-3785) is published six per year by Allwrite Communications, 241 Peachtree Street NE, Suite 400, Atlanta, GA 30303, 404-221-0703
September
CONTENTS
F E AT U R E D S T O RY 14 Back to School Tips While the kids are gearing up their first day, mothers have to work just as hard to make this school year a success. Give yourself an A with these quick and easy tips to help prepare for school!
HER HEART 20 Being Single
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Fall Home Makeover Summer may be coming to an end, but these home makeover tips give good reason to celebrate the oncoming fall!
Sometimes, you need to take a second look at yourself before you dive into love.
15 How to Speak to Your Children About Bullying How do you keep your kids from feeling the effects of bullying or from becoming the bully?
16 Role Overload: Can modern women find a balance in the different roles they play?
HER FLAVOR 28 Cupcake Mafia Life gave Mz. Skittlez cupcakes, so she wore them.
26 Family, Football & Food Our favorite fall meal for the whole family to enjoy.
25 Messu Waves for Shorter Hair Short-haired girls want to have fun too!
HER LESSONS 35 Can Money Buy You Confidence? Is your confidence truly yours if it depends on the state of your bank account?
37 6 Ways to Maintain Your Self-Esteem Just like a nagging best friend, your self-esteem starts to feel lonely if you don’t put in the time to take care of yourself.
38 Does A Man have a Right to Strike Back? When a woman is the attacker, when do men cross the line between selfdefense and physical abuse?
HER WORK ON THE COVER 6 B-Angie-B
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Best Organic Skin & Makeup Products Great products that will help you look good without damaging your skin with artificial chemicals.
Passionate, vivacious, and a powerhouse of a vocalist are only a few words people use to describe B Angie B. She includes: preacher’s daughter, mother, and underdog success story.
Money is one of the top reasons for conflict in the relationship.
46 2 Main Qualities of a Good Leader Good leaders need to be both forceful and believable in the workplace and at home.
47 Vívoflit H E R H E A LT H 34 Praying Instead of Complaing Balance the stress of family life with faith.
30 Kicking Your Way to Better Health Is kickball the underrated women’s sport of our time?
32 Fertility is About Your Health, Not Your Age There is no such thing as “too old” to have children, only too unhealthy.
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44 Avoid Divorce; Talk About Money
This nifty gadget is more than just a calorie counter; it’s a one-stopshop for a healthier lifestyle.
H E R P L AY 40 Must See Fall Movies Don’t let these great fall flicks pass you by.
41 Going Out Without the Guilt Spend a night painting the town red without busting open your piggy bank.
42 Tips for Traveling Safe & Smart A business woman’s guide to travel.
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BY ANNETTE JOHNSON
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t first glance, she looks more like a typical glam mom rather than the gyrating dancer with the soulful voice who toured and recorded with MC Hammer during the ‘80 and ‘90s. When she “turns it on,” there is no doubt who she was or, perhaps, is. For now, though, her stage persona has been so latent that she says her 9-year-old son asked, “Mom, who are you?” after an employee at his school got excited about meeting her. Her son, like others in his generation, may know very little about Hammer and his powerhouse posse of singers, including his mother, B Angie B, and dancers. What he knows about that era of music needed to come from his mother, who apparently never divulged the extent or relevance of her musical past. Well, the secret is out for him and will resurface for others but, this time, in the form of a long-awaited solo music project. B Angie B’s new single “Love” is set to be released on Sept. 23, 2014, from her upcoming album “Stronger Than Ever,” which has no official release date. The song, she says, “Is a reflection of my journey.” Her journey actually began in Mississippi. Born Angela R. Boyd, this preacher’s kid left the pews of her stepfather’s small church to seek out fame and fortune in California. She belts out her trademark chuckle, a brief diva “ha” followed by a girlish giggle, as she describes her upbringing in the small town of Morton “with only 50 people.” She proudly proclaims, “Yes, I still go to the same church when I’m back home.” Her father and uncle provided her the inspiration to “be whatever you want,” she recounts. “When I was 4, I was a nurse. By the time I was 5, I was a model. When I was 6, I was a singer, 7 a singer, 8 a singer. I just knew it. I had it.” She met her biological father for the first time as a teenager and was sure he would make her life somehow more special. She even packed her things, thinking she would live with him. Instead, what she got was him saying, “We got a new baby coming.” He and his wife were expecting
gie B B A C K
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a little girl. Angie didn’t need him to finish his explanation because she had already discerned the cool distance he wanted to maintain, especially in light of an unborn little girl who he was actually claiming outright, unlike her. That episode, she says, became her “drive” and “motivation” to succeed and do it in a big way. “I taught myself. I listened to other people’s music. I loved Patti LaBelle. I figured that if I could sing a Patti LaBelle song, I’d be bad and could sing anything.” The day after high school graduation, at age 17, Angie left home on a one-way Greyhound Bus ticket. “I left for Oakland, California, not knowing anyone, but that’s where I met Mr. MC Hammer.” Almost without hesitation, she breaks into a deep throaty version of “Two Legit to Quit.” After stopping herself from singing and then chuckling, she adds, “That was the beginning. That’s where all of my dreams came true, and if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.” Her Dreams Come True She was performing with local bands at night and working at a bank during the day in California. Frustrated with the career stagnation, Angie began questioning her bold move to leave home. One afternoon while at a teller machine, she heard music coming from a nearby studio. Lulled into distraction, she ventured inside to ask who owned the place. She was told Felton Pilate of band Con-Funk-Shun. “Oh really,” she said excitedly, “I sing! I sing!” The man she met, music producer James Earley, only replied, “Well, go in there and get on the mic.” Afterward, Earley remarked, “You sound awesome. You’ve got to meet MC Hammer. Do you know him?” Although somewhat embarrassed because the man’s tone raised curiosity, she admitted, “Never heard of him.” Chuckling, she adds, “He was at the very beginning of his career.” The next day, she saw an RV pull up
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need you to sing on this hook…say ‘pump it.’” That hook, on the song “Pump It Up,” became one of her biggest songs and represented her entry into the music business. After recording the song and when Hammer asked Angie to quit her job again, she still said no. His response, “Give me three weeks. When you hear yourself on the radio, then will you quit your job?” All he could get from Angie was an almost sold, “Maybe. Maybe, I’ll quit my job.” Three weeks later, when the song became an instant hit, Angie agreed to quit her job. The petite singer with the big voice then became part of Hammer’s posse in the late ‘80s and toured with him, lending her vocals to the hit album “Let’s Get It Started” in 1988. She continued to tour and produce background vocals for Hammer during his successful Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em album in 1990.
“If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.” outside the studio. “Hammer’s here,” Earley announced. After being formally introduced and being told she could sing, Hammer questioned, “Can you sing?” She shot back, “Can you rap?” A hearty chuckle interrupts the interview with the admittance, “I can’t repeat just how I said it.” After going in the booth and belting out one soulful run, Angie saw the two men face each other and begin talking. Hammer asked, “Where did you get her?” “They didn’t realize I could hear them,” Angie confesses. Finally, Hammer motioned her out the booth and said, “I want you to quit your job.” Sputtering and stammering, she replied, “I can’t do that. I’m so tired of people saying they’re going to make me a star. Baby, no. I got a good job. Bank of America.” Relentless and determined to create a collaboration, Hammer called her at 4 a.m., asking her to come in the studio. He said, “I
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Her Struggle She later added her vocal punch to Hammer’s all-female rap group, Oaktown’s 357, in the song “Juicy Gotcha Krazy.” She admits, “We (the girls in the group) didn’t hit it off in the very beginning because I was country. I wore neon colors. I was a dufus, but ‘she can sang, though.” She chuckles as she reminded herself of her main value to the female rappers at the time. She appeared in the music video, but says, “I didn’t know how to dance when I first met [Hammer]. So basically he told the girls to help me and show me the [dance] routine, but I couldn’t get it.” Because she couldn’t get their routine down, she says, “The girls didn’t like me.” One night she was crying about it while standing on the balcony of the Embassy Suites. When Hammer asked about her somber mood, she said, “I just want to go home. The girls don’t like me, and I don’t really want to be here.” Always the protective friend, he responded in true character, “Go get dressed. I’m taking you to the radio station, and from this point on, I’m taking you everywhere I go.”
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He continued, “B, just follow my lead. You’re going to be a star.” For the second crucial time, she trusted his insistence and instincts. Still, she had one last request, “Just don’t leave them. Don’t leave me with those girls.” After the group members tried one last time to teach Angie their moves, she decided to come up with some of her own. “Baby, I improvised.” Her dance turned out to be a rapid midsection grind of broad gyrations, which became her trademark move. “Turns out that everybody and their mama was doing that dance.” Even her spandex pants with holes in strategic spots became somewhat of a fashion trend. “Everybody was wearing those pants.” Despite all else, Hammer knew that B Angie B could sing, and in 1991, he signed her to his Capitol-distributed Bust It music label. She went on to release her self-titled debut album that same year with the driving force of Earley, who she eventually married, and Pilate. The neo-soul album was recorded at Prince’s Paisley Park Studios. The label released a few songs from Angie’s album, including “So Much Love” and remakes of ‘70s soul classics: Rufus & Chaka Khan’s “Sweet Thing” and the Emotions’ “I Don’t Want to Lose Your Love.” The latter peaked at #2 on Billboard’s R&B Singles chart in March of 1991, staying on the charts for 18 weeks. “So Much Love” went to #3 on Billboard’s R&B Singles chart in June of 1991 and charted for 19 weeks. Still, the album itself, which debuted at #11 on the Billboard’s Hip-Hop/R&B charts, sold only about 140,000 copies. The album wasn’t totally disappointing because, according to Angie, the original singer of “I Don’t Want to Lose Your Love,” was losing her house when the remake was released. “Because I did that song, she got a royalty check and was able to save her house. Those are the things that are heaven sent.” Her Inspiration Everyone who truly knows and has ever interviewed Angie knows her musical inspiration: Patti LaBelle. In fact, that’s the only person Angie would ever mention
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throughout her career and travels whenever asked about her musical influence and inspiration. “I loved her work. I loved her voice. I loved her presence, her face, her skin. Just everything about this woman reminded me that she is awesome. Plus, she looked just like my mother.” While on tour with Johnny Gill, Angie was in her dressing room getting ready to go on stage in Philadelphia, where Patti was raised. Suddenly, she heard her mother yelling just outside the door. Angie says she playfully reprimanded her mother and simply went back to “clowning in the dressing room.” Her mother wouldn’t stop yelling, though. At that point, Angie headed toward the door to see what all the fuss was about outside. he heard a recognizable voice sing, “I love you.” It was Patti heading toward Angie singing only the first line from her song “Love, Need and Want You.” Roses in her hand obscured her face, so Angie didn’t see her immediately. Meanwhile, her mother just kept squealing and yelling in admiration. Then she heard another line of the song, “Baby when we…” “Oh, my God, I can’t breathe!” she exclaimed when she recognized her idol’s face. Patti was standing in front of her with a bouquet of roses. Angie says she couldn’t even greet Patti because she was in shock. “I couldn’t even open my mouth. Tears rolled down my face. At that moment, I knew I had made it.”
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Her Transition When Hammer’s career and finances were on the decline, she says other labels were asking her to sign with them. She said even close friends suggested that she “don’t go down with a sinking ship” or “move on.” “As a true loyalist,” she says, “I went down with the ship and took a baby break.” Angie welcomed the break from the music business, especially after a second solo album didn’t do as well as expected. She then focused on something that she says are her greatest accomplishments: her children Precious, 21, and Julian, 9. She and her two children now live in the metro Atlanta, Georgia, area, where she works in interior
design and real estate. An honorary member of the Black Dolls, whose mission is to empower black girls and remind them of their beauty – internally, externally and intrinsically, Angie says, “I’d like to be an inspiration to not only black girls, but to all girls, everybody. It only takes one thing growing up to knock you off your equilibrium, and you carry that with you for the rest of your life. You establish insecurities because of what someone said long ago, but when you surround yourself
“Be selective and take your time. Just don’t go too fast.” with the right people, you have less issues.” A toned, statuesque beauty with silky chocolate skin, pearly white teeth and an oft self-induced laugh, Angie keeps positive people around her. She credits her relationship with God as being the main stabilizer in her life, however. “I think God grabbed me, and He put me in a position where He said, ‘Don’t you worry. I’m going to make everything in your life wonderful. You don’t have to worry about being called a black skillet…or the black child who’d always got picked on.’” She also has a deep connection and respect for her mentor, MC Hammer. “I feel a total sense of loyalty to him – even after 20 years.” Her Love, Dating and Relationships During her short-lived marriage to Early, she had her first child, Precious. She says she and Earley are “best friends,” and he even produced her upcoming single “Love.” Since then, she’s been married and divorced again, so she regards relationship decisions a sacred. “I have dated guys and had my pick of the litter. I’ve had the good ones and the crazy ones. If you’re going to go down that road, I think you should make it a situation that you can hold on to. You know, I don’t like to date too much because when you
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Photography by Kevin Goolsby | KBG Multimedia LLC | www.kevingoolsby.com
break up, you have part of that person in you, whatever it is, those memories, whatever you did together. Be selective and take your time. Just don’t go too fast.” The currently single mother says, “I have not found the one yet. I am a super mom, and I love my children. I won’t expose them to just anybody. If you’re not going to be the man, you’re not going to be introduced to my children.” She advises, “Check with your kids. Your kids will tell you if they don’t like him.” As for which type of man she’d like to date, she says, “I’ve never been a person whose really big on looks. I just wanted to be
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treated like a princess or a queen. “Don’t set your expectations too high because that person might really be the one you’ve been looking for and you didn’t see it. God will say, ‘I sent him, but you turned him down’…When you talk to God, don’t ask Him for a man. Just ask that His will be done.”
label Monarchy Records. Her “brothers from another mother,” as Angie calls them, Björn “BJ” Johansson and Jim Lindqwister, have produced most of the songs on the forthcoming album. She recorded the songs in Switzerland, London, San Francisco, and Atlanta. Listen out for her signature sound because she’s back up.
Her New Moves B Angie B is getting ready to turn it back on for all those who did and will come to admire her vocal “gift.” In 2013, she signed a recording contract with Swedish
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Designing Hair For Hair Loss BY ANNETTE JOHNSON
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fter living with alopecia areata for more than 15 years and wearing all types of wigs to hide the condition, Charmeka Jackson came up with a business six years ago to help others, like her, in need. She began creating custom wigs for hair loss patients. The 36-year-old initially used online resources, such as YouTube, to learn how to create the wigs. Looking for more answers and an outlet, Jackson contacted Emmynominated actress Amy Gibson, who was diagnosed with alopecia during her youth. After years on daytime soap operas and secretly wearing wigs to conceal her own baldness, Gibson began a wig manufacturing and consulting service for those dealing with hair loss. In the beginning, Jackson used glue to hold the hair in place. She now hands sows human hair to a spandex base, after Gibson explained that cancer patients should avoid glue on their scalps, namely due to concerns about glue’s interaction with medicines. Alopecia (al-oh-PEE-shah) is a condition
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in which hair is lost from the scalp or other areas of the body. Hair loss from the scalp occurs in two forms: alopecia areata (ar-eeAH-tah), which causes hair loss in patches and alopecia totalis, in which people lose all the hair on their head. Alopecia universalis causes hair loss all over the body. Gradual hair loss, or traction alopecia, is becoming more popular due to tight hairstyles (i.e. braids, ponytails, weaves) that constantly pull the hair and chemical damage. About five million people, two percent of the population, in the United States have the condition, according to the National Alopecia Areata Foundation. Jackson first noticed her chronic hair loss condition, alopecia, in 10th grade. It began with a quarter-sized patch of missing hair and then slowly spread to areas throughout her head, creating uneven patches. “I’ve experienced the rollercoaster emotions associated with it,” she says. “Both the course of the condition and the associated emotions can be unpredictable, and the lack of control of your own body is frightening and intimidating.” She learned that her condition was
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hereditary. Her hair will grow back lightly in certain places, but it has never grown back all the way. Alopecia, she would come to understand, wasn’t what she would have to learn to live with; it was her new self. She found that others accepted her only after she gained the confidence to accept herself. Today, Jackson mainly dons a baldhead without any coverings or extensions. “That wasn’t easy, as I had to learn to accept the new me.” Once she learned to accept herself, she wanted those with temporary or permanent hair loss to be able to regain their confidence. “Our hair is our pride and glory to women, and by wearing a wig, women with hair loss can get that sense of pride back.” Most recently, she designed a custom wig for a 63-year-old brain cancer patient who died this year. Some cancer treatments, such as chemotherapy drugs and radiation, will cause people to lose some or all of their hair. This includes hair all over the body, including the pubic hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. While hair can and usually does grow back, the loss can affect a woman’s
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Carmeka before, with hair.
mood and outlook. Annette Edwards, 47, was diagnosed with breast cancer less than year ago, in early November 2013. The diagnosis came as a surprise after suffering tenderness from bumping herself at a friend’s house. She went to the doctor about the lingering pain, and the doctor suggested that she get her breasts formally examined. The mammogram didn’t detect her condition, but rather a diagnostic ultrasound. She then had a biopsy that confirmed that she, in fact, had cancer. From that point, treatment started immediately because she had stage two cancer. While she had some masses in her breasts, most of them were in her lymph nodes. Because she says her masses were over the maximum, she had to undergo biweekly chemo treatments in order to reduce the masses before surgery. She had to quit her longtime job in the school system to, for the first time, focus on her health and nutrition, and not the students’. By her second treatment, she would have to face unforeseen challenges: the side affects of chemotherapy, which included weakness,
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nausea and hair loss. All three conditions were foreign to her, but the hair loss made her struggle not only personal, but now public. All of sudden, people would stare at her, questioning her health, state of mind, or even sexuality. “It affected my self-esteem a little bit. The hardest part was people looking at me weird.” One little girl asked her mother, she recounted, “Mama, what’s wrong with that lady?” She had to make a decision to conceal her baldhead or quickly figure out how to accept her new look. She chose the latter. Her focus was on her life, not her hair, saying she told God, “I want to live. I don’t want to die. I had people who started [cancer treatment] with me, but they are gone now.” “Some people just like to be bald, says Jackson, “but for hair loss patients, they just want to look like themselves when they did have hair.” She tries to make her wigs match the women’s previous style. “It’s made like their own hair or like their hair was before.” Her custom wigs run from $65 to $220 based on the length. She allows people to buy their own hair and even have their
Amy Gibson, the actress who suffered with alopecia.
personal beautician design a style (cut it) once she has created the wig itself. She also has a limited stock of pre-designed wigs. She gets many of her clients because, she says, “People see the wigs I make for myself.” While she doesn’t offer it, Jackson said, “The new thing is lace wig eyebrows.” The cost of a wig might be covered for cancer patients in treatment. Patients should ask their doctor for a prescription if possible. After a successful surgery in June 2014 and subsequent radiation treatment, Edwards says she’s cancer free and witnessing the renewal of her hair. She suggests that women get over the losses, especially their hair, associated with cancer and instead focus on what’s most important: their survival. She says getting regular mammograms and eating properly should be top priorities. -ARJ Find out more about Jackson’s wigs at Sensational Wigs n Extension Boutique
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BACK 2 SCHOOL GUIDE BY CASSANDRA HOOKER
As Back to School Time comes back around for Moms, it sometimes can be a stressful time. Between the clothes and the supplies, it can be overwhelming. But with a few tricks, your children can go back to school with ease. Hopefully these 10 tips will give you a head start on the other Moms!
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Try to buy ahead of time – This means at the end of the season, if possible, buy the clothing that goes on sale. A perfect example is if it is going into summer, buy winter clothing at a great price. Clearance racks are the best! But try to buy a size ahead for growing children…sometimes two.
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For those Moms that have to buy uniform for students, try the internet for bundles. A big name retailer will have bundles of polo style shirts and pants available in packages. They have an array of colors and sizes. This is great if you need a specific color to match your child’s school.
3.
Reinforce – Yes, as a mother of two rough boys, I realized that reinforcing the knees of their pants saved me time and money! I bought patches, turned the pants inside out and ironed them on the knees. 20 minutes can save you money. Remember, time is money.
4.
Consignment Shops- I am a thrifty person. Children grow very fast. I find that if you use a consignment store to buy and sell clothes. My son likes “Mall” label clothes. He grows out of them so fast, he doesn’t get a chance to wear them. So we wash the ones
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that were gently worn. Take them in to get a credit. You can buy other clothing out of the store.
5.
High End Thrift Stores- Just like the Consignment Shops, you can find great bargains for clothing,
6.
Sales Papers- Use your sales papers! They will give you all the info on what is on sell in the stores around you. Compare for good prices on items and you can have a well-planned out map for stores.
7.
Please go to your child’s “Meet and Greet” for the proper information that the child needs for their school year. This will also establish good communication between the teacher and your family for the needs of the student.
9.
Find out your child’s route to school before the first day. Whether it is the school bus or you driving them to school, know where you are going and what door you will be taking them in for school. This is easier for you and nervous first day of school jitters for your children.
10.
Learn your school’s lunch menu. You know your child’s eating habits. Will they eat this? Especially one the first day of school. You might want to pack a lunch the first day of school.
Hopefully, these 10 tips will help you with the beginning of you school year with your child. I know this from experience. Not only am I a mother of two children, I am also an educator of Special Needs children. I know from both sides what will help this year start off smooth. Planning ahead, patience and being flexible will help you. Good Luck this year!
8.
Check your child’s immunization records BEFORE school starts! This will save you time when the other parents have to take their child to renew their shot record.
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How To
Speak To Your Children About Bullying BY LINNET BROWN
Bullying is a serious matter in our schools and leads to a number of suicides of young people all over the world. The anonymity of the Internet and the accessibility of cellphones have provided further opportunities for bullies. As a grandmother, I find myself constantly reminding my grandchildren that it is wrong to bully and be bullied. I try to help them understand the negative and positive effects words can have others. Here are five tools I’ve found to foster a successful discussing about bullying with children:
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. Spend quality time with your children. This way, you will be able to see whether they seemed stressed or anxious. Even if there are no signs of worrying, speak to your child about the negative conduct of other children. Teach them to avoid using negative words, including racial slurs and other disparaging words, such as: stupid, idiot, dummy, fool, silly, bad, dirty, ugly, and stinky. Tell your children not to internalize the negative statements directed at them by bullies, but to stand up for themselves without violence and without more negative words.
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. Tell them to alert you of any bullying. Tell them that some teenagers might write nasty statements about them or others. This could happen on Facebook and or as text messages. Tell your child to inform you of it before deleting them.
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. Take action. When your child reports an incident of bullying, do not hesitate to deal with it. Do not let anything hinder your child’s self-esteem, intellect, and education. . Prevent your child from bullying. If you see signs that your child is becoming a bully, get the kid to see that he or she should treat others the way that he or she would wish to be treated. Bullying comes from a place of fear and anger and you may want to seek therapy for your child if the bullying behavior continues.
No child should suffer silently from bullying. Make sure to check in often with your child and be proactive against any form of bullying. You have the power to give your child the sense of selfrespect and confidence that he or she deserves. Linnet Brown worked as a schoolteacher and qualified social worker and saw first-hand how bullying destroyed the lives of young people and their families. “The Power of Words: My Name is Sally” is one of the many books Linnet Brown has written in her journey to end bullying and stop the rash of suicides that have spanned over many countries, more so in North America in recent years. The book is available at Xlibris Press, Amazon, Bransandnoble and Chapters/Indigo.
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. Use available literature to empower your child. Literature offers a sound and effective source of education for children rather than just verbal instructions.
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Role Overload:
The Caregiver, Lover, and Worker BY CORY ALBERTSON
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e, along with sociologist and Georgia State University professor Cory Albertson, examine what it means to be a modern, working women with a family of some kind. We asked the questions, and he provided answers using studies and statistics, as well as his own professional insight, to uncover something American women in this situation have suspected all along. Are modern women able to find better balance? “The interesting thing happening now is that not only are we finding that more women are in the workforce, but the balance is still skewed toward women taking care of home despite that. Women do 100 minutes more of housework than a man, and this is a case for women around the world.” According to Albertson, many women experience “role overload,” meaning they have to both work outside the home and at home. “They can’t reasonably manage all these roles.” What has been the impact of role overload? “Women come home for a second shift once they leave work,” says Albertson. Despite that, working women seem to experience greater satisfaction. “Even though woman do more outside their homes, they’re happier. Employed moms are happier than stay-at-home moms, according to studies. They have fewer negative emotions than stay-at-home moms. Work actually improves a woman’s mental state. Working apparently even improves a woman’s interactions with her children.”
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Are working women better mothers? They are not necessarily better, but just as good. “Because having a career improves her mental state,” says Albertson, “a woman is better equipped to manage her many roles. She has something separate (work) of her own, so her entire identity is not tied to caretaking.” We have to change our idea of want we call a “good mother.” He adds, “You’re being a good mother by providing for your children.” Women are not abnormal for working and trying to take care of a family. In fact, for women with kids younger than 18, 71% of those women are in the workforce in some capacity.” What we have not done in American society is say: “I see you working and getting a paycheck, and that is part of being a good mother.” We still seemingly place more
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emphasis on a woman’s value at home. “We need to value all women’s contributions, not criticize them for not doing everything well enough.” Albertson contends that the only markers we currently use as good mother are the three Cs: “Cooking, cleaning and caregiving. Now we add a new marker: career, or working outside the home. We have not historically valued women as a breadwinner. We need to change our value system. We also need to value men as good fathers for these same markers too. This will relieve some of the guilt women feel and achieve balance.” Have Attitudes Changed to Support Women’s Expanding? What we’ve done since the Victorian Era is focus on caregiving, but now women are required to work outside the home. “American women have to
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work to provide for their middle class lifestyle, but they still have to take care of the home. The key here is what we have come to expect of women and what we come to expect of men. Nothing has really changed for women. They are still expected to take on the primary role in domestic work. A woman can work an 8 to 10-hour shift and still be routinely expected to cook, clean and manage the children. What we haven’t done is take away some of the burden on women.” Are women more or less powerful now? “A woman has a lot of power in her romantic relationships and marriages,” asserts Albertson.
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Studies have shown: Men’s happiness = how much sex and how little criticism he gets Women’s happiness = level of emotional connection with partner (same as always) and her partner’s contribution to house work and the children’s care (major change)
mothers’ and ‘community mothers’ who help raise each other’s kids. Among ethnic minorities, there is a greater network of women who are willing to help each other out. wThey get support emotionally and ask for advice and vent. It’s beneficial all the way around, not just for raising children.”
“The husband is likely to receive less criticism if he helps more with house work and childcare. Women want and expect this. When women are satisfied in this way, men will get what they want: more sex and less criticism.”
What should our society do to counter or relieve the situation? Pay them, suggests Albertson, the same. “We need to value women’s work and contribution by paying them the same as a men, so their value is recognized. Women still get paid $0.77 to men’s $1.00 for the same work. Thus, we still aren’t valuing women’s work like we do men’s work. Even now in 2014, we are socialized that men are more valuable in the workforce.”
What are women doing to help their situation? Interdependence, having reliable friends or a female support network, is how this is being done. “We are definitely a nation of single parents. You have ‘blood
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+ HER HOME
Fall Home Makeover BY MORGAN HUFSTADER
Fall is on its way, and as the leaves start falling from the trees, it’s time for you to turn over a new leaf with your home decorating. Now is a great opportunity to open up the closest and bring out all the blankets and decorations that you’ve kept hidden away all summer long. Don’t get caught mourning the end of the warm season; instead, celebrate the change of fall with five easy, fall-related home decorating tips below.
1. Cozy up with Cushions and Blankets Warm up your living room with a nice, cozy blanket and a few throw pillows. Not only do throw blankets look nice, but they’re also great for cuddling up with when the autumn chill starts to set in. For an extra luxurious addition, try quilted, wool, or cashmere blankets. As for the pillows, stock up on a variety of shapes and sizes but try to keep a consistent color scheme.
2. Change Your Bedding It’s time to change out the light, summer sheets and into warmer blankets. Duvet covers filled with heavy down or nice cotton throw blankets will make your bedroom look warm and inviting. Try to use early tones such as dark browns, burnt oranges, or reds.
3. Spruce up the Outdoors A nice, seasonal wreath on your front door is a great way to change with the seasons. If you have a balcony or a front porch, don’t let it go to waste just because of the drop in the temperature. Instead, try to make it look inviting with lanterns, heavy pillows, and towels or blankets.
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+ HER HOME
4. Pick Neutral Colors A quick way to update your interior is to fill rooms with decorations that have a natural palette. Reds, yellows, and oranges look great in the fall, as well as pale colors, pumpkin or peachy hues, or soft grey greens. When picking patterns, plaid is a great way to go.
5. Buy Indoors Plants When you don’t feel like going outside, it’s time to bring the outdoors in. Buy a few large, leafy houseplants for your bedroom and living room. Pinecones, colored leaves, and mini-pumpkins also look great on your kitchen table. Pick out some nice, in seasons flowers; chrysanthemums and sunflowers, for example, are great for the fall. Not only will these plants look nice, but they will also add moisture to the air, which is great to keep your skin hydrated for the dry fall and winter seasons.
With these quick and easy tips, you should have your bright, summer-style house transformed into a cozy autumn den in no time. Fall decorating is a great way to stay preparing your house for the winter season, all while staying in style and keeping your interior fashionable.
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+ H E R R E L AT I O N S H I P
5
e l g n i S g Bein
Reasons Why It May Be Best For You Right Now BY STEPHAN LABOSSIERE
There is nothing wrong with being single! Too many people treat being single like having a disease that needs to be cured right away. Others immediately assume that there is something wrong with you and the truth of the matter is, there might be, and that’s okay. Everyone has issues, but many people overlook their issues and insecurities and jump into a relationship anyway. Relationships don’t fix problems; on the con-
You Don’t Truly Know Yourself. How can you really know what’s best for you if you haven’t yet figured out yourself ? How can another person embrace the true you is you have no idea who that you is? Bottom line is, we need to be more patient rather than dive in a relationship. If you don’t take the time to get to know yourself, you run the risk of becoming obsessed with someone else and losing yourself in the process. Maximize your time being single by learning how to love and embrace yourself.
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trary, now you have to deal with your issues as well as the new set of baggage that your partner brings into the relationship. The reality is that, for a lot of people, being single could be their best option for the present. Here are five reasons it might be the right move for you :
1
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You Don’t Know How to Take Care of Yourself.
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Most people want to find someone who compliments their lifestyle; they don’t want someone who will drain them and bring them down. Unfortunately, if you can’t take care of yourself, then you damn sure can’t take care of someone else. Use your time being single to become a self-reliant and independent individual who knows how to handle her own business. Grow to be a partner rather than a grown child that someone else will constantly have to take care of.
You Still Want to Live the Single Life. Some people want to look like they’re single, talk like they’re single, and behave like they’re single, and all while being in a relationship. You can’t have it both ways and you should take some time to get your “single desires” out of your system. It isn’t fair to lead your partner on; you are just setting yourself up for failure. Until you are truly ready for something serious, just embrace the single life.
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You Are Still “in Love” with Your Ex.
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Running into the arms of another to get over an ex is not something I would ever recommend. You’re simply distracting yourself rather than trying to fix the issue at hand. You need to diagnose your last relationship and find out what went wrong with it so you can learn from past mistakes. Being with another person immediately won’t help. Furthermore, it isn’t fair to put the new rebound person. You’re better off being single instead of trying to embrace a love that isn’t true.
Being Single Will Help You Address Deeper Issues. As I said earlier, we all have issues. Some of us have deeper issues than others and have never truly addressed them. Whether you are struggling with memories of sexual abuse, severe heartbreak, of the absence of parental figures, it is best to work these issues out while you’re single before you launch yourself into another relationship. Whether you realize it or not, these things will likely have a negative impact on your relationships if you try to ignore them. Get the assistance you need and put yourself in a much better position to receive the great things you deserve.
It’s not that it is impossible to work these things out while in a relationship. It just makes it a lot harder and increases the chance of more damage being done along the way. Being single should be an opportunity to grow and prepare your life for what the future has to offer. Some
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may find fulfillment in remaining single, and some may find their fulfillment in getting married. Your goals will be best achieved when you stop treating being single as a pitfall and start treating it as an opportunity. Frustrated with your current situation? Trying
to figure out what your next move should be? Ready to see positive results in your life? If yes, then contact me today to schedule a coaching session. For more details, visit stephanspeaks. com or email me at contact@stephanspeaks. com
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+ HER BEAUTY
ral Skin:
atu Certifiably All-N
Top Picks For Natural Skin Care &Beauty Products
H
aving an active lifestyle and conscientious dietary habits are important to maintaining physical health, so is being aware of the topical products that are used on the body, according to Blair Wagoner and Sara Lamond. The owners of recently-opened Fig and Flower, a beauty boutique providing all-natural alternatives to harsh and sometimes toxic chemicals found in traditional health and beauty brands, believe the chemicals and additives in many popular health and beauty products actually have the potential to be harmful to the body because they are absorbed through the skin and transferred directly into the body’s blood stream. A make-up artist and self-proclaimed “product junkie,” Wagoner admits that prior to committing to environmentally friendly and all-natural makeup and skincare products, almost everything that she was putting onto her body was really bad for her. Once realizing this during her Master’s program in nutrition, Wagoner made the switch from these popular but potentially unhealthy skin products and started ordering organic health and beauty products online. Noticing that there was a lack of availability of them in her local area, she decided to open Figs and Flowers in Atlanta, Georgia, to help other women transition to a healthier regime while still achieving wonderful and glamorous results. Wagoner shares with Hers what she feels to be some of the best natural alternative cosmetics and skincare brands:
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PRODUCTS BY BLAIR GILES WRITTEN BY SYDNEY THOMAS
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“Sarah and I really help people identify what is going to be best for their skin and often times the result is just simplifying the routine.”
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+ HER BEAUTY
Make Up: Vapour Aura
“They color all of their products using fruit and vegetable pigments!” Conveniently-sized and possessing a myriad of uses, these organic sticks of color can be used to add a dash of color to the cheeks, a nude sweep across the lips, or even a bold look to the eyes. No matter which of the nine flattering shades you choose, the Vapour Aura Multi-Use Blush can be guaranteed to fit easily into your life – and your clutch! 100% Pure
One Love Organics RMS Beauty Living Luminizer
This highlighter works wonders on all skin tones and provides ultra-sheer coverage with a “satin-pearl “ finish without the sticky or oily feel of some other highlighters. This product can be used virtually anywhere to provide a subtle yet sensual glow – the bridge of the nose, the inner corner of the eyes, and even along the shoulder blades. Skin Care:
“Carries a complete line of products that has something for every skin type and it’s gone over very well.”
HollyBeth Organics
Family-owned and Georgia- based skincare company One Love Organics boasts plant based formulas that are designed to balance consumers natural skin types.
Completely free of synthetic chemicals, unnatural preservatives, unhealthy toxins, and artificial fragrances and colors, 100% Pure Cosmetics is your new favorite health and beauty line. They boast vegan and cruelty free products that have been thoroughly researched and tested to achieve the most natural-looking and least erosive results on your skin and body. Even the blush, powder, and lip colors are derived from fruit and vegetable pigments that are chalk full of antioxidants and vitamins to rejuvenate your skin and their products, come in a wide range of skin colors.
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“They color all of their products using fruit and vegetable pigments!”
Twitter: figandfloweratl Instagram: figandfloweratl Facebook: fig and floweratl
Created by Georgia-native HollyBeth Anderson, this Atlanta based skin care line is of the few USDA-certified organic skincare product lines in the state. Utilizing essential oils and fresh plants, HollyBeth cosmetics is able to provide a variety of dry-skin, oilyskin, anti-aging and other solutions for its green customers. Even the packaging is ecofriendly!
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Messy Waves For Shorter Hair TUTORIAL BY DANA FOX,
A country girl from Ontario who makes a living online by creating things and beautifying blogs all over the world. Visit thewonderforest.com, where she shares various creative projects and tutorials, blog design tips, and bits of her laidback life in hopes of inspiring you to create a life you live and a blog you adore! Most of the advice and how-to content is targeted at those with minimal experience and presented in a way that makes sense.
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+ HER FOOD
Family, Football, & Food BY: MERHWIT FITWI
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is’ the season for hectic schedules full of football practices, ballet recitals, and family dinners. Say good-bye to those long warm summer nights and hello to those crisp fall mornings. Fall is the time of year when we are constantly on the go trying to pack everything into a six day week and make time for church on Sunday. Somewhere along that hectic schedule we turn our home cooked meals to five dollar
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pizzas and drive thru burgers. We know that it’s not the healthy thing to do but we are exhausted after waking the kids up, taking them to school, working an eight hour day, and then picking them back up after practice. Where is the time for a home cooked meal in that, your right there isn’t or is there? One thing that we can do as families on the go is to meal prep for the week ahead. Yes, you have heard the term before especially if you have health conscious friends who swear by it. Meal prepping is a great way to cut down on the absorbed amount of fast food and its budget friendly. Your children
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will be happy for the change and it’s easy for them to get in the house after a long day and warm it up in the microwave while you go take a hot shower to distress from your busy day. Of course you don’t have to give up the five dollar pizzas or the drive thru burgers but you can make it an event when you do get it. There are plenty of meals that would work great for preparing dinners for a week. Some of my favorite recipes that are easy and fun to prep with the family are chicken stir-fry, white chicken chili, lasagna, beef pot roast, and many others. Making the dinner
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Recipe Here is a simple recipe for chicken pot pie from http://allrecipes.com/ • 1 (14 ounce) package refrigerated (double) pie crusts at room temperature • 1 (10.75 ounce) can Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free) • ½ cup milk • 2 cups diced cooked chicken • 1 (12 ounce) package frozen mixed vegetables, thawed • 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
Directions
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Heat the oven to 400 degrees F. Line the bottom of a 9-inch pie plate with 1 pie crust. Trim any excess.
2 menu on Friday night will allow you to know what you need to purchase at the grocery store. Make your trip to the grocery store on Saturday while the kids are at practice and in between your cleaning sessions. Then on Sunday get all your ingredients together and start your cooking make sure to block out a few hours for this so that you can make sure the meals are all cooked thoroughly. Some of these meals are as easy as just getting them all put together so that they are oven ready for the day you plan to serve it for dinner. If you chose meat
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dishes make sure to cook them well enough so that when you put pull out of the fridge it’s still good so you can avoid any type of undercooked meat issues. A fall favorite meal is of course chicken pot pie. It is so creamy, full of goodness, and warms you up after a long night at a football game. If you pop one of these in the oven you will be the MVP of the family that night.
Stir the soup, milk, chicken and vegetables in a medium bowl. Spoon the chicken mixture into the pie plate. Sprinkle with 3/4 cup cheese. Place the remaining pie crust over the filling. Trim any excess. Crimp the edges of the top and bottom crusts together. Using a sharp knife, cut several slits in the top crust.
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Bake for 35 minutes or until the crust is golden brown. Sprinkle the crust with the remaining cheese.
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+ H E R FAS H I O N
W
hen life gives you cupcakes, what do you do with them? The average woman would most likely scarf a couple down and then head over to the nearest gym full of guilt and cupcakes. However, this particular young woman was inspired far beyond her mere taste buds. Twenty-six-year old Mary “Mz Skittlez” Seats saw a creative opportunity amidst all that cake and icing, and in 2011 with only $300 and a box of t-shirts, she started her company known as “Cupcake Mafia.” Now the Cleveland, Ohio-based CEO is overseeing Cupcake Mafia’s quick rise in the street wear world, and she has recently opened a flagship boutique – and bakery – in Atlanta, GA. Mz. Skittlez is also the author of a book “The Icing on Top Isn’t Always Sweet” in which she recounts the inspiring tale of how she overcame seemingly crippling obstacles through dedication and perseverance and eventually went on to successfully spearhead an internationally-known clothing brand. Hers magazine caught up with Mz. Skittlez on the heels of the release of her new book to get a little more information about her line, her debut novel, and her dreams for the future. ST: How long have you been designing and what made you decide to produce clothing for youth? MS: I’ve been designing for about six or seven years, but I’ve been designing Cupcake Mafia for three years. I don’t feel [as though] my brand is more for youth, I just feel like it’s for all women. Our target demographic is very wide; it’s 13 to about 35.
a i f a M e k a c p u C s s e c c u S eet w S , t e e Sw BY SYDNEY THOMAS
ST: I spotted a few guys’ items on the website. The Cupcake Mafia brand is mainly for women, but you also have items for men, right? MS: It is mainly for women. We do have a men’s collection that we’re working on which is called “The Baker’s Man Collection.” ST: So, you’re 26 years old. What made you decide to do a book so young & towards the middle of a career rather than the end? In other words, what made you decide to write it now?
MS: I went through a very [rough] time growing up, and I wanted my story to inspire people as they are still growing because I am still growing. So my story didn’t really end – it just kind of tells where I am at this point. I wanted to let people know that even when you’re young and you’re in school to never give up, and that there is so much more that life has in store for you. That’s pretty much what my story is about. ST: Coming from such humble beginnings, what would you say has been your biggest success with the line so far? MS: We’re currently placed in [retail stores]. We’re in stores like Sports Zone, Jimmy Jazz, Apparel Zoo. And we’re placed in a store called Class Originals, the biggest retail store in Japan. ST: Looking toward the future, what would be the pinnacle of success for you as a designer? MS: The pinnacle of my success would probably just to be timeless and be able to create a timeless brand. I want Cupcake Mafia to be the street wear version of Disney. However old you are, when you go to Disneyworld, you still feel timeless, and that feeling, that’s what I want my brand to be. Also I want to be able to collaborate – endless amounts of collaborations – and I want to be able to have franchises of the Cupcake Mafia store all over the world. ST: All right, and lastly – the most obvious question – what was it that inspired the name “Cupcake Mafia?” I’m sure you know that it’s kind of an oxymoron… MS: [laughing] I got the name because I love cupcakes and I had a cupcake tattoo and then “mafia” because you can’t just have sweet. You can’t just have one thing. I thought I needed to make a sweet but deadly clothing line that relates to all girls; the girls who are super girly could rock [the clothes] and so could the girls that aren’t. The Cupcake Mafia Flagship store can be found at 2115 Piedmont Rd in Atlanta, GA. Company Instagram: @cupcakemafiats Skittlez Personal Instagram: @mzskittlez4
BY KA'TRINA E. HOLT
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+ HER FITNESS
O
utstanding Girlz, Eye Candy Kickers, Sweet Lady Kickers, Gorgeous Lady Kickers, and Chicks Kicks are all names of Ladies Kickball Leagues kicking their way to good health. According to the World Adult Kickball Association® (WAKA) -WAKA is doing its best to help. Players are able to run around, get some exercise, and hang out with friends, in a fun, social environment. It is reported that kickball players can burn from 300-600 calories in an hour depending on the player's weight and how intense the game is for the individual. Enjoying a sport such as kickball brings about good friendships, burns calories, and keeps the mind and body young. "I enjoy playing kickball. It is an outlet/ stress reliever and a way to workout without thinking I'm actually working out. It's fun, entertaining and I love the camaraderie among women. Since I have been playing, I network with other women and it has allowed me to keep 20 pounds off," says "Sweetie" aka Keandria Foreman-Edwards, a Georgia educator and team member of the Outstanding Girlz Representing (OGR) Kickball League in Decatur, GA. Kickball is a game we all know and love. The rules are simplistic so that even beginners of all ages should be able to quickly pick up the play of the game. I recall my own childhood memories growing up in the 70s in St. Louis, Missouri, and my favorite P.E. activity was playing kickball on my elementary school's playground with my classmates. Kickball has made a comeback. It is suitable to be played by all ages all over the world from all walks of life. It is fun while simultaneously offering great exercise. It is a fast-paced, action-packed thrilling game which fosters bonding with team mates and fostering new friendships. "This sport has allowed all women from different walks of life to come together and have a positive outlook from teamwork to great sportsmanship. I have noticed more African-American women playing kickball than any other sport," says Keandria. Many of the leagues are very well organized and include various parties and
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social extensions to really get to know your teammates and other kickers in the league. Some cities even have co-ed leagues. Many types of self labeled tournaments are held in a myriad of cities in the U.S. from Atlanta, Daytona Beach, D.C., and St. Louis just to name a few. Kickball provides an escape from work, increases a social life, and provides having an excuse to be a big kid and hang out with other adults who also like to have fun too. Forget about how far you can kick a ball the real glory is having a really cool nickname. Paula White, a fifth grade elementary educator in DeKalb County, GA is a huge fan of kickball leagues. When the question is pose to her, why does she feel ladies kickball leagues are the hottest craze she replies:
“I Enjoy Playing Kickball. It Is An Outlet/Stress Reliever And A Way To Workout Without Thinking I'm Actually Working Out.” "I think it's because it's a familiar game to most women because they played as a youth. It's fun and fosters teamwork and has a family/sisterhood feel. I love attending the games and cheering. I talk trash and yell at the refs. Best of all you hear all the cool nicknames like Loc Star, Sweetie, Babycakes, etc." Kickball was invented around 1917 by Nicholas C. Seuss, Supervisor of Cincinnati Park Playgrounds in Ohio. Kickball was implemented around 1920s by P.E. teachers to teach children the basics of baseball. Kickball was originally called kick baseball or base soccer. It is essentially baseball using a playground ball instead of a baseball and bat. Kickball is currently a recreational and competitive league game primarily played in
the U.S., but also enjoyed by other countries. Eventually kickball progressed and adopted the same rules played in baseball. Teams alternate innings with one team attempting to score by having its players circle the bases and the other team in the outfield working to stop runs from being scored. Players on the battling team kick an inflated rubber ball to advance players around the bases ultimately to score runs. The team with the most runs after a predefined number of innings wins. There are three bases and a home plate on the field, and three strikes per out and three outs per inning. The game continued to be played in school yards and on playgrounds for the following decades. Sometime during the 1990s the interest in kickball grew, particularly among adults who played the game as children. Social kickball leagues begin to surface throughout the U.S. As interest grew organizations such as WAKA were formed. WAKA was founded in 1998 in Washington, D.C., when four recent college graduates were drinking at a bar and were discussing ways to meet women. They settled on the idea of launching a sports league that mixes athletic and socializing and they picked kickball since it requires little athletic skill and is unlikely to injure anybody. WAKA now has more than 30 states and over 40,000 kickball participants. Kickball continues to be a sport enjoyed by both kids, and men and women alike in playgrounds and parks across the United States. In your city's local parks or recreational facility you will find epic battles of sorts during ladies kickball leagues. Two teams getting down to the business of kicking a few bunts, fly balls and making great catches, ultimately one team clinching a win. The sport is so popular anyone desiring to join a league can find out information simply by logging on into any social media outlet like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram you will have no trouble finding a league near you. Before joining a league be prepared to seek out a cool kicker name. Kickball continues to be an ever-increasingly popular sport enjoyed by youth, men and women alike. Kickball is a sport where an adult can be a kid with a cool nickname.
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+ HER WELLNESS
Fertility is About Your Health, Not Your Age BY AIMEE RAUPP
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+ HER WELLNESS
A
s an alternative medicine practitioner who specializes in women’s health and fertility, I see a lot of women who are trying to improve their fertility and get pregnant. I find myself constantly reminding my patients that their fertility is not just about their age, it’s about their health as well. Let’s break this down—your health has a major impact your baby, from leading up to your pregnancy, when you get pregnant, and your maintenance throughout your pregnancy. What I have seen over my ten years of clinical experience is that when a woman is in optimal health—emotionally, nutritionally, and physically—she will get pregnant, have a healthy pregnancy and, most importantly, give birth to a healthy child. Second, with all this talk and concern about a women’s age and her fertility (the “ticking biological clock” comes to mind), many women miss the bigger picture: age is not as important as health. In fact, one article published in 2013 in the journal Fertility & Sterility found that 78% of 35-40 year old women who were having sex at their most fertile time of the month conceived after one year of trying. So, you see: age isn’t the biggest factor affecting your ability to get pregnant. Rather, it is the state of your health. I cannot encourage women (and men) enough to shift their focus from fertility as a refection of your age to the more important issue at hand: your fertility as a reflection of your overall health. Chronological age and physiological age don’t typically match up. For example, you could be in your 40s and have the health of a 25-year-old and, alternatively, you could be in your 20s and have the health of a 45-year-old. The way we live our daily lives either ages us prematurely or protects us from aging. With all that being said, here are my top three tips that can incorporate into your life now that will help you achieve a more optimal state of health and therefore improved fertility.
1. Meditate daily. Make a commitment
to sitting quietly for five to ten minutes, every day. Many people feel overwhelmed by the idea of meditating or complain that they don’t have enough time. However, daily meditation will allow you to work smarter not harder and ultimately give you more time in your day.
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2. Love yourself. As I always say in my
clinic: babies are made out of love. And I don’t just mean the in-the-bedroom kind of love. I mean the love you shower upon yourself, your body, and your life. One of my favorite recommendations for generating more self-love is to approach your lifestyle choices from a place of love. For instance, when you go to eat that processed, packaged bag of candy (that you’re going to feel guilty about eating later), or worse, when you skip lunch because you’re “too busy,” ask yourself: am I loving myself, my body, and my health in this moment? If the answer is no, then don’t do it. You’ll find that making a nutritious food choice or taking a self-loving meditation break will help you feel good about you. Joy and love combat stress.
3. Eat fat. Yes, fat is healthy and fertility
friendly. Most of us avoid fat because we think it is unhealthy for us, but the truth is, our body needs fat—especially the kind that is rich in omega 3 fatty acids—to function optimally on every level. I urge clients to eat fats from organic oils, such as olive oil, coconut oil, and raw sesame or almond butter. Organic nuts and seeds and especially butter from grass-fed cows will also do the trick (I recommend four tablespoons per week of butter!). Lastly, if you are worried about your ability to get pregnant, I want to encourage to you adopt this mantra: I have the power to change my health and improve my fertility. When you take back the power over your health and choose to live in a way that honors your body and focuses on joy and love, your fertility will be protected against the negative impacts of your environment. Furthermore, your physiological age will be younger than your chronological one and you will get pregnant. You have the power; own it!
Aimee is also the author of Chill Out & Get Healthy (Penguin) and Yes, You Can Get Pregnant: Natural Ways to Improve Your Fertility Now and Into Your 40s. She is currently in private practice in Manhattan, the Hamptons and Nyack, NY. Visit her website (http://aimeeraupp.com) and follow her on Twitter (@AimeeRaupp).
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+ HER SPIRITUAL
Praying Instead of Complaining BY KIM SEALS
D
elegating comes naturally for me. As a matter of fact, it’s an absolute necessity because I am a wife and mother of four boys. However, when I ask the people in my household to do something, I’m easily frustrated because they don’t move fast enough for me. When I make a request, I expect those I’ve cooked, cleaned, and worked tirelessly for to respond with a, “Yes, ma’am,” and to move with a blurring quickness. So, when it doesn’t happen as I had envisioned, I run off and do it myself while reciting the ‘Ya’ll don’t do anything I ask you to do’ speech. One day, after basking in my frustration and running myself ragged, I made yet another request of my husband. However, this time, as I rushed to do what I asked him to do, he said to me, “You don’t give me a chance to do anything you ask. You always rush in.” I was immediately struck by his words because I believed I was a nurturing mother and wife. But this impatient person who failed to cheer on those around her as they demonstrated their gifts and abilities, I did not know. As a matter of fact, I didn’t want to be her; I had to do something different. I had to focus my energies elsewhere. I decided to pray. I decided the energy required to foster frustration would be better invested in prayer. I decided prayer would benefit me and my family. I benefit by exercising pause and not succumbing to my frustrations. sw Choosing to pray, instead of speaking or
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doing, promotes growth in those around me and affords them the chance to demonstrate their knowledge and ability. Prayer and praise are positive. Impatience and nagging is negative. By choosing to pray, I experience peace and express patience in waiting, and they experience peace and learn patience without my ranting and raving. This actually allows them to think more clearly to do what I’d asked (Ouch!). Prayer is a win-win for everybody – the ‘pray-er’ and the ‘pray-ee.’ The Word of God declares “…tribulation worketh patience” (Romans 5:3), “but let patience have her per-
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fect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing” (James 1:4). During my ordeal with “do what I ask or I’ll do it and complain,” prayer became my answer to allowing patience to have her perfect work in both me and my family. It can become yours too. I know that prayer can do. I found the answer in prayer, I’ll tell it everywhere. I know, I know, I know what prayer can do. ~Jessy Dixon
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+ PERSONAL GROWTH
Can Money Buy You Confidence? Money can buy you a lot of things, but can it buy you confidence? BY TAMARA KING
I
surveyed more than 50 women asking whether having money or a lack of it affects their confidence. Almost 45% said, yes, money does affect their confidence. What is it about money that makes a person feel more confident? Well, for one, having money gives people a greater sense of liberation. They feel less dependent on anyone to make decisions for them or even tell them what to do. You may hear someone with money repeatedly say, “I don’t need you.” This sense of self-reliance makes people feel more powerful because they can buy what they want, including people sometimes. Money, like food for some people, is just a temporary fix for a long-term problem. Money can make you feel more secure and even powerful, but once you take that mask off, what’s left? Lack of confidence or selfesteem? I would love to have a six-figure plus bank account. That almighty dollar just may have me standing a little taller in my high heels (4 inches and up of course). But confidence is something that comes from within like happiness. Confidence is knowing and believing in yourself and what you have to offer the world. We live in a society that subliminally teaches us that if you have expensive
handbags, shoes, cars, and designer labels it will make you a kickass, super human. I have seen plenty of broke people with loads of confidence and no one would suspect that they have less than $10 to their name. Some of them may have had positive people in their lives, such as parents or friends, who reinforced how special they are. Positive reinforcement or continual reinforcement does help us recognize, respect and remember “our special.” Confidence should always rely on internal feelings rather than external factors. Otherwise, when material things, such as money, are gone, so goes the person’s confidence. Money could never completely satisfy you, make you whole, get you that job promotion, or snag that handsome guy at Starbucks who comes in every Wednesday at noon. When you believe in yourself and know without a doubt that you are an amazing person, the next person has no reason to doubt who you are because they can already sense it when you step into any room. Money can help you look like you want or live like you want. However, money and material things could never make you who you are. Who you are is the person who emerges when no one is looking or around; when you have nothing or no one to support you; and when you are stripped down to the
bare minimum. Do you know how much money you could save by not giving a damn about what other people thought of you? True confidence doesn’t care what other people think which converts to more in your pocket and a happy, healthy, confident individual. Two key things to remember: 1. Know What You Know: People respond to people who know what they are talking about. Put those talents and good qualities to use. Only you know who you truly are so love yourself and others will follow suit. 2. Invest In Yourself: Personal growth and improvement is always a great thing to explore. Seek out things that will have a long term effect on your happiness like yoga, meditation, or even therapy.
Confidence starts with you. Own it! Tamara King Instagram/Twitter @heyheyitstk
+ PERSONAL GROWTH
6
Ways to Maintain
A Healthy Relationship
With Your Self-Esteem: BY ALICIA EMAMDEE
Throughout the years, my Self-Esteem and I have had a very tumultuous relationship, to say the least. Throughout our teens and 20s, I was extremely critical of her and my self-doubt was beyond measure. The constant criticisms and the lack of respect, trust, and belief in myself were too much for her to bear and, by the time we reached our early 30s, my Self-Esteem had had enough. She gave me an ultimatum: either I straighten up my act and treat her with the love and respect that she deserved, or we were over. I had no choice. How could I walk away from the most important relationship of my life? I had to do something about it and, over time, I’ve learned how to love, value, and respect her. It’s been a long journey, but the most important lesson this happy, upbeat realist learned that in order for my relationship with my Self-Esteem to flourish, we would have to keep working at it. Here are six tricks I’ve learned along the way to maintain a healthy relationship with your self-esteem:
+ PERSONAL GROWTH
Continue to believe in yourself by stating your affirmations on a daily basis: As part of my “self-esteem regime,” every morning, I stated my positive affirmations to myself. Saying good things about yourself to yourself starts your day off on a positive note.
Focus on the positive and stop all the negative self-talk: Why criticize yourself every time you look in the mirror? Why put yourself down every time you see a skinny, perfect looking model in a magazine? The realist in me knows just how difficult it is for me to conquer my negative self-talk. There are times when I just can’t help myself, but—and this is a big but— anytime I am aware of those negative thoughts, I change them into positives.
Eat right and exercise on a regular basis: Eating right and exercising on a regular basis can help you feel energized and rejuvenated. If your body feels good, your mind will follow. Let me make this clear…I am not promoting exercise and eating right to fit our society’s rigid beauty standards of having the “perfectly thin” body. I am talking about feeling good in your own skin. Treat your body like a temple and take care of it; after all, it’s the only one you’ve got.
Show gratitude for all you have: Every morning, along with my affirmations, I state what I am grateful for. Showing gratitude for all the good things in your life completely changes your perspective and puts a positive spin on your daily activities.
Learn to pamper yourself: Take some time just for you. Go for a walk, get a mani/pedi, or join a yoga or dance class. Do something for yourself that makes you feel good. This tip is especially important for mothers who tend to put others first. Don’t ever feel guilty for taking some “me time.”
Surround yourself with confident and positive people: You don’t need to be friends with someone who puts you down or makes catty remarks at you. My Self-Esteem and I realized that we needed to say goodbye to those kinds of friends. Do we miss them? Yes, but not enough to bring that kind of negativity back into our life. Remember, you deserve to have only the best possible people surrounding you: those who build you up, those who are positive, and those who truly care about your wants and needs. You know why? Because you are worth it!
Alicia Emamdee is the author of the book, “Aloha Self-Esteem?” which is created specifically for teen girls and the challenges they face with regards to their self-esteem in our society today. Written as a fictional love story, the book provides ways to help increase selfesteem and gain self-confidence.”
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+ PERSONAL GROWTH
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+ PERSONAL GROWTH
Does a Man Have the Right to Strike Back?
Y
BY ANNETTE R. JOHNSON
ou’ve heard it said, at least of late by Whoopi Goldberg, if a woman hits a man, thatman has every right to hit the woman back. Fair is fair, right? Here is something I realized early in my life, especially when I physically challenged my teenage brother. Nevertheless, I’ll let you hear it from a professional, Neel Burton, M.D., in a Psychology Today article: “Men are physically stronger than women, who have, on average, less total muscle mass, both in absolute terms and relative to total body mass. The greater muscle mass of men is the result of testosterone-induced muscular hypertrophy. Men also have denser, stronger bones, tendons, and ligaments.” Men are naturally stronger than women namely in their upper bodies. Notice that most women can't do pull-ups unless they are extensively trained. By the time a boy is 12 years old, due to the increase in testosterone levels, his muscle mass increases and he becomes more aggressive. This is without him lifting weights or doing anything to get stronger. Notice that more men commit violent crimes. That said, a man fighting or striking a woman isn't a fair fight, even if she foolishly instigates it. I teach my sons that they can do other things to restrain a woman rather than hit her back. Growing up, in fact, my brother would simply wrap our (my sister and I)hands around our bodies and hold them or make us hit ourselves when we decided to hit him. We, his sisters, felt foolish and didn't hit him anymore. But just think if he had decided to use his strength and power to "fight back." Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Yes, there is a small percentage of women that can go toe to toe with an average guy, but they are the exception, not the rule.
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According to Whoopassian logic, Jay Z perhaps should have opened up a can of whoop –ss on his sister-in-law Solange when she wildly struck him in an elevator. If Jay had hit her back, however, that wouldn’t have been a fight any longer. It would have been a man beating up an emotionally charged, foolish young woman. I guess the next time a child hits me it would be fair to hit him/her back with the same intensity. In fact, the next time anyone does anything to me, I should not show restraint or regard for their mental state, physical stature, provocation, and so forth. I should just exact revenge and retaliation in the same manner. So much for the principles of Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa or even Jesus. Love and mercy apparently have no place in Whoopassian logic. Recently, a Florida man almost admittedly beat a teenager death when he allegedly caught the teen sexually molesting his young son. Most, including me, commended the father, not because it was “fair” but because it was “right,” or justified. Here’s the difference: something that’s right should always be done, but someone needs to judge what’s fair before taking action. Fairness always requires context (background and circumstances), but righteousness never does. In the case of Solange, suppose, like the Florida man, Jay had done something unthinkable, perhaps unmentionable to someone she loved. We, to this day, don’t know what triggered her actions or reactions. Without context, we shouldn’t say what’s fair, including Jay Z hitting her back. Unlike animals that react instinctively, human beings can judge what’s fair before deciding when and how to respond. A man, not an animal, in an elevator decided that it was better for him not to strike back. He did the right thing.
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+ HER MOVIES
Must-See Fall Movies
What If (August 1): PG-13
If I Stay (August 22): PG-13
As if defeating Voldemort wasn’t enough, actor Daniel Radcliffe returns to the screen to conquer an even more challenging foe: love and friendship. What If is the story of Wallace, a self-proclaimed cynic, who falls in love with his friend (played by Zoe Kazan) and is forced to navigate the treacherous waters of jealousy and longing. This offbeat comedy will warm your heart and tickle your funny bone.
Chloë Moretz has, time and again, made her name as one of the most bold and versatile young actresses in Hollywood today. She keeps her streak going in the movie If I Stay, a drama about young girl who is caught between choosing the college of her dreams and the man of her dreams. However, everything changes when a car accident throws her into a place caught between life and death and she is forced to make the ultimate decision. Don’t expect to leave this movie with dry eyes!
Get on Up (August 1): PG-13
The Giver (August 15): PG-13 Based on the critical acclaimed children’s novel by Lois Lowry, The Giver looks to be an inspiring spectacle for teenagers and adults alike. The movie transforms the setting described into the book into a sleek, futuristic landscape in which a young boy makes the choice to break away from his seemingly “perfect” community. The movie is packed with stellar actors, including Jeff Bridges (who plays the Giver), Meryl Streep, Katie Holmes, Alexander Skarsgård (from True Blood), and Taylor Swift.
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Get on Up depicts singer James Brown’s rise to fame. It shows everything from his down-and-out youth to his bold and risky career choices. The movie is a must-see for anyone who is a fan of James Brown’s legendary music and for those who could use an introduction to the influential musician. Chadwick Boseman plays James Brown and shares the screen with powerhouses such as Viola Davis and Jill Scott.
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Hundred-Foot Journey (August 8): PG The Hundred-Foot Journey is a drama about culture, family, and, most importantly, food. The stories centers on a family displaced from their native India who decide to open an Indian cuisine restaurant in a small French town. However, the ice-queen next door, Madame Mallory (played by the impeccable Helen Mirren), vows to make their transition less than comfortable.
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+ H E R T H E AT R E
Going Out Without the Guilt BY MORGAN HUFSTADER
T
his fall, treat yourself to a night out! Whether you’ve been working all week, busy taking care of family and children, or just need a night to yourself, now is the time to take it. Best of all, we’ve done that hard work for you and found affordable ways to spend your night out without breaking bank.
Comedy
Family
Drama
The Event: Whole World Improv Theatre is a great place for a hilarious night out. For twenty years, they have been tickling funny bones with shows akin to “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” in which the actors generate skits on the spot based off of the audience members’ suggestions.
The Event: The Aurora Theatre in Lawrenceville is playing Mary Poppins: the Musical. This is a family friendly event and a great way for the working mom to get some bonding time with her children. This show features many of your favorite songs from the movie, such as “Supercalifraglisticexpialidocious” and “A Spoonful of Sugar.”
The Event: Alliance Theatre presents Steel Magnolias, the classic comedydrama about a group of young Southern woman in Louisiana. The play follows each of the six women as they encounter troubling conflicts and rise above their problems with the help of their friends.
The Deal: Every Thursday night, they have a Ladies’ Night Special at the door where ladies get in for free if they arrive between 7:00 pm and 7:30 pm. Can you say ladies night out? The Details: Whole World Improv Theatre has shows Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. They are located at 1216 Spring Street NW, Atlanta, GA, 30309.
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The Deal: Tickets are regularly $30-$50 each, but if you attend the Wednesday matinee show, you’ll get the same magical performance for only $20. The Details: The Aurora Theatre is located at 128 Pike Street in Lawrenceville.
The Details: Alliance Theatre is located at 1289 Peachtree Street NE. South City Kitchen is located at 1144 Crescent Avenue, Atlanta, GA. The deal is good from October 22-November 9.
The Deal: Alliance Theatre is currently selling packages for one ticket to the show and dinner at Midtown’s South City Kitchen all for the low price of $55. Inclusive in the dinner deal is your choice of an appetizer, entrée, and dessert. The deal is only good for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evening shows with the online promo code SCK55.
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+ HER TRAVEL
Traveling Tips for
Safe&
Smart BY PEGGY HATTENDORF
As an experienced business traveler, I’ve acquired a keen sense of safety. Many women can be intimidated to travel alone, but they shouldn’t be. In order to help you get your bearing while travelling, I’ve come up with my A, B, C, and D’s of travel. They are: be Alert at all times, Blend into the surroundings, Communicate with family and friends, and Do not appear to be traveling alone.
S
uccess is in the preplanning. Here are a couple quick tips to help you get to your destination quickly and safely:
airline with good domestic and international routes, partner carriers, and tie-ins with car rental companies and hotel chains. The perks provide a sense of comfort.
at the airport, eliminating the wait for the plane to arrive. Delays that build later in the day due to weather and air traffic congestion are often avoided.
down long hallways. Reservationists routinely jot down the room number but if the number is mentioned out loud, I request another room.
Pack Light - I use a carry-on to save time and baggage mishaps.
Travel Insurance - BerkshireHathaway has a program called Air-Care, which covers flight delays and missed connections. Claims are paid instantly instead of having to wait weeks.
Dress Right – On flights, I wear comfortable clothing: shoes, socks, and a large scarf to wrap around my shoulders or to serve as a blanket. Add my neck pillow, reading materials, water and I’m set.
Once in the room, I note the emergency exits and check all windows and doors, including the balcony and adjoining room doors to make sure they are securely locked. I request extra towels to place on sofa and chairs to keep my clothes from being soiled. When leaving the room, I place the Do-Not-Disturb sign on the door and turn on the television.
Pack Right - I maintain a basic travel wardrobe and a “travel check list” to avoid forgetting things like contact lenses, a travel pillow, cellphone/computer chargers, etc. Clothing and accessories are coordinated with one primary color scheme that can be mixed, matched, and layered. With the addition of travel slippers, a small umbrella, hat, and a cross-body bag, it all fits into the luggage. My small toiletry bag remains “travel ready” and is replenished as soon as I return from a trip. Travel Suppliers - I’ve developed allegiance to certain vendors. In general, select a major
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TSA PreCheck (tsa.gov/tsaprecheck) - Registering and qualifying for this designation allows me use of expedited security lines, eliminating the need to remove shoes, belts, coats, 3-1-1 bags, and laptop. In addition, with The Global Entry Card (cbp.gov) I skip the Customs and Border Protection Lines and use touch-screen kiosks in the arrival area at airports. Air Travel – I always try to book the first flight of the day. The aircraft normally overnights
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Car Rental – If I use a car rental, I book airport locations (rates may be higher) rather than off-airport. I opt for Valet parking or well-lighted areas at hotels and avoid garages/ subterranean parking. Hotel – When booking a hotel, I choose accommodations with lobby access only. Rooms are often pre-assigned for frequent guests, but I ask to see the room chart to determine proximity to the elevator to avoid walking
Careful pre-planning, selecting the right suppliers and services, along with “travel smarts” go far in providing a sense of safety, ease, and comfort. Please email me at Peggy@peggyhattendorf. com with your travel tips.
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Hers magazine is sponsoring a
Best Friendcontest
contest. The two winners (friends) will get a cruise to Nassau, Bahamas during the Miami Fashion Cruise in November 2014. Rules: submit a two-page or less description OR a video link to footage no more than 2 minutes, describing why your friend is the BEST in the world. Will choose random videos to be featured on the website, as well as via social media, so others can see just how special your friendship is. Maybe what’s unique or special about your friendship is the way you met or have supported each other and so forth. No matter the tale, which MUST be the truth and ultimately substantiated, we will choose and then announce the winner publically. The contest begins on midnight July 1st and ends on midnight September 7th. Send your written description OR video link to submissions@hersmagazine.net
+ HER MONEY
Avoid Divorce
Talk About Money BY BETH MARSHALL
O
ne of the primary reasons for divorce involves disputes about finances. However, these disagreements can be easily avoided. Reducing the reasons for disputes increases the longevity of marriages. The persistent reasons for divorce over money are as follows:
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. A spouse doesn’t know the other’s financial history. All of us are a compilation of affirmative and challenging money experiences. When entering in a partnership, acknowledge the hard times as well as the good. Although it may be comfortable, I constantly suggest that couples take time to discover and share their experiences about money from their childhood and their perception of money issues. Having this
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knowledge will help you see each other’s side and avoid detrimental confrontations that can destroy your relationship.
about finances. If you need assistance, ask a professional to help you sort through your financial history.
2
3
. A spouse doesn’t know where they are financially. Knowing your cash flow is an essential step for a successful money management system and a smart financial foundation. Yet, when couples and individuals don’t know their financial standing, this area becomes agitated and overpowering. At times, individuals: - Purposely mask their finances - Are in a haze have no idea where they stand financially. - Haven’t directly consulted with their partner about their ambitions so their use of money doesn’t support the relationship. All these can be avoided by a direct and open discussion
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. Financial disloyalty. Suppressing financial expenditures and activities from your spouse can hurt the faith they have in the relationship. First, verify if financial infidelity has happened in the relationship by asking how your actions might have affected the position of financial legitimacy in your relationship. Second, heed your spouse’s ideas regarding methods to boost your finances. Finally, after you’ve examined your actions and received your spouse’s ideas, it’s time to build a financial plan of joint objectives that reflect your financial foundation.
These three scenarios above can autonomously alter a couple’s aptitude for a frank financial dialogue. At times, all three situations can materialize, building emotional flare-ups and confusion. If you and your spouse are in conflict over money, my advice is to approach the matter with respect in an open discussion. Start with the plan to grow the financial area of your relationship. Join your spouse in a conversation and actively listen to what they have to say about money. You may need time to see results, but an open discussion and a well-built and unwavering financial plan will guide you to a healthy relationship and financial security.
Beth Marshall, CPA and MBA,
is the founder and owner of Financially Authentic, and is inspired to serve others by helping them learn how to proactively manage their financial lives. For more information, sign up today at www.financiallyauthentic.com for Beth’s free audio download, "3 Steps to Living a Financially Authentic Life of Your Dreams."
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JUST $9.95
F E AT U R E S • H E A R T • F L AVO R • H E A LT H L E S S O N S • W O R K • P L AY W W W. H E R S - M A G A Z I N E . C O M hers-magazine.com
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HER BUSINESS +
BY LORII MYERS
Good leaders are both forceful and believable.
C
onsider taking the initiative to lead on a broad scale—from the assertive, progressive employee to the team leader or even to a position of management. No matter what your position within the workplace, you can actively take the initiative to lead. Focus on achieving an upwardly mobile transition within your organization by understanding and embracing those traits common to successful leaders. The primary role of a leader is to lead and, in order to lead, you need to stand out, command attention, and demand respect. Leaders usually have a definitive vision that they are committed to and passionate about.
Ultimately, the essence of creating leadership comes from the energy that you put forth, as well as the enthusiasm and vitality it displays.
Leaders usually have a definitive vision Leaders know how to plan and build the right team to set process in motion, and they have the ability and desire to see projects through to the end no matter what hazards may come into play. Successful leaders, in effect, achieve success by demanding credibility, commanding attention, and using their interpersonal influence to transform workplace staff, colleagues, and even customers into their
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devoted entourage. Credibility is relatively straightforward and easy to attain if you are perceived as being knowledgeable about the subject, issue, or directive of interest. Commanding attention is also relatively straightforward if your intended audience perceives that you are similar to them, which directly helps them relate, feel comfortable, and want to listen to what you have to say.
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The stronger the team, the stronger the leader. Leaders don’t stand alone, however. They have an established and vast knowledge base backed by competent people resources. The relationship between the effective leader and his or her support team is definitely symbiotic; they build on one another’s strengths and grow together.
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+ HER GADGETS
Vívofit G a r m in Fitness Band .
The Vivofit comes with: 24/7 Wearable – The band is stylish (in many colors such as teal, pink, black, green, purple, and red), comfortable, and water resistant. Achieve Your Goals - Vivofit learns your activity level and assigns a personalized goal each morning. Move Bar – The move part motivates you to stay active by displaying a red move bar after one hour of inactivity. After every 15 minutes, additional segments bars light up. You can reset the band by walking for a couple of minutes.
Count Calories – It records calories burned throughout the day and includes base metabolic rate. Long Battery Life - Stays on for more than a year without having to change the battery. Easy-to-read Display – It clearly displays the time of day and your stats. Monitor Your Sleep - Set the band in sleep mode when you go to bed and it will track the quality of your rest.
You can purchase it on Amazon.com. hers-magazine.com
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+ HER BOOK REVIEW
B
usiness development consultant turned wanna-bewriter, Alex Berhane took a hiatus from his family’s thriving furniture business in South Florida to pursue his dream of writing. What better topic to begin with than something he loves to do – listen to people vent? He is the architect, creative mind and chief delegator behind VentNation. com, which gave rise to his first published work, “101 Ways to Vent.” As the creator of VentNation.com, Alex has come across some many different ways that people choose to vent, and he has compiled them in this sarcastic, humorous book. In this funny, simple, practical guide to venting stress and anger, Berhane shares his own, sometimes quirky, venting methods along with many of those posted on his popular website. What’s more, he includes short, animated videos to the methods, creating even more attachment to this already-addictive manual on stress relief. Accessing this interactive enhancement is easy. Just grab a cell phone and scan the QR codes that will take you directly to an animated version of the venting methods, including:
Drawing
Destroying Junkyard Cars
Sometimes, it’s just never enough to speak about what’s bothering you. Sometimes, you need to visualize it. The best way to do that, usually, is to draw something that reflects the mood you’re in…
A junkyard is a wonderful place to go whenever you want to vent. You can get all Jazmine Sullivan in a junkyard and bust a window out some unknown man’s car. In this way, you can avoid the temptation to slash your arrogant boss’s tires or take a bat to his Porsche…
Cleaning
Firecrackers
The thought of cleaning is dreadful for some, but assuming you’re like Danny Tanner and like everything to be neat and tidy, cleaning can actually be a nice diversion and help you relieve anxiety and tension…
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Firecrackers are typically harmless (unless you’re a moron) objects that really can be useful to an individual who is overcome with anger. They make loud, popping noises that can be seen as a simulation of an explosion…
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Berhane’s basic advice to readers is to find a way to rid yourself of negative feelings and thoughts that can and will ultimately cause destruction if ignored or denied. If you have always used a few of the same methods to vent, well allow this volume to stimulate your imagination. 101 Ways to Vent organizes the venting methods into four categories of: · · · ·
No risk Low risk Moderate risk Try at your own risk
It puts a spin on standard stressrelieving methods, in most cases, and it generates totally new ideas in others. Overall, it can be a useful contribution to improving your confidence, outlook and even health should you decide to vent in any of the 101 ways. Find the book online using: ISBN: 978-0-9887332-6-8 (print) ISBN: 978-0-9887332-8-2 (ebook)
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What do all writers need?
Something to write with, on, about, and We provide extensive editorial services from inception to production to marketing. We don’t let writers just publish anything because we care about your success.
Expert Author Services www.e-allwrite.com hers-magazine.com
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