S piritual
19-25 April 2013
Extending Relationships { Dr. Rajesh Bhola }
T
oday very few of the elderly in our localities get to enjoy the company of children. This simple interaction not only helps extend family ties over generations, but also helps reduce the loneliness of the aged. I often reminisce about my childhood days at Chandigarh. Ladies, children and grand parents would spend their evenings together, while strolling in the neighbourhood parks. This also offered a platform for the sharing of family news and concerns; almost everybody knew about the ‘goings-on’ in each house. Whenever needed, the whole locality would stand up as one family. Nowadays, children are often moved from place to place, and lose close contact with the extended family - of grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and long-time neighbours. It is important for us to cultivate a sense of belonging in our families; and ensure that whatever may change outside our homes, some fundamental aspects of our relationships would never change. We should encourage our children to know their relatives; in fact talk of them, make an effort to correspond with them, visit them - and join extended family get-togethers. Extending our family is really just a matter of extending our love. The more love we extend, the fuller our life will be - of the things that matter most. Remembering milestones of extended family members is one way to bridge the distance that separates some loved ones today. We should also look around us at the people in our localities who brighten our lives, and whose lives we can brighten. A truly extended family can be created through acts of kindness and service. Making their extended family an important part of their lives is, for some grandparents, one of the great joys of growing old. They look forward to the visits of their grandchildren, and watch over them very attentively, besides showering them with their affection. Such involvement provides a rich opportunity for them to share a lifetime of their accumulated knowledge and wisdom. Keeping the generations close not only delivers emotional rewards, but also provides a valuable added perspective. Sometimes we may need to go the extra mile. An
A Cup of Kindness { Archana Kapoor Nagpal } “Even as a tortoise draws in its limbs, the wise can draw in their senses at will.” - Bhagavad Gita Quotes “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” Mother Teresa I relocated to a new city for work. It was my first day at work, and I was so nervous seeing the list of things to be completed. I was feeling unwell due to the tremendous change in the climatic conditions;
ill-humoured aunt or uncle, a critical grandmother or an overbearing cousin may require extra portions of love. In such cases, we must develop the ability and selfdiscipline to think of their needs ahead of our own. But even when extended family members live relatively close by, there is no escaping the fact that families today do live more privately. While some extended families still give each other day-to-day assistance with shopping, child care and household tasks, more often now each branch of the family wants independence. Like significant rites of passage at every stage of life, becoming a grandparent presents an exciting opportunity to grow and change, and to experience a very special relationship. Many grandparents enjoy the sheer pleasure of being able to spend time with their grandchildren, without being burdened by the responsibilities of being a parent. Many of today’s grandparents are ‘young’, and have active working and social lives of their own. Nevertheless, becoming a grandparent provides a direct link to a whole new world, and the opportunity to stay in touch with another generation - and new ideas. Grandparents can find out first hand about current childcare methods, new toys and games, books, children’s interests and hobbies, education and popular music. Yes, the experience can be very rewarding. Grandchildren can give grandparents a sense of continuity and reassurance. This gives their life an added meaning and purpose, giving them a renewed confidence in their usefulness and value. It even gives them a ‘second chance’. Grandparents can try and do better at some of the things they felt less happy about as parents; and of course they can repeat, or strengthen, what they did well the first time round. In terms of relationships, they can not only form new ones, but also repair and rework some old ones – even with their own children. Developing extended relationships is character-building: it gives us the bliss of love, companionship and togetherness; and provides families a rich inter-generational experience. u
Anchor To The Breath Taking a break is like taking a breath With awareness; Don’t tangle with the thoughts, Don’t mangle with the emotion, Just watch the sensation On the body; In stress or despair, Take a deep breath... Be mindful of the sensation Don’t get ensnared Just be aware; Get back to the anchor, Breathe soft, breathe slow Let go; Thoughts that trigger emotions, Emotions that trigger pain, Don’t waste time untangling them Or engaging with mind games. A smile will soften up your face, And slacken the agitation pace... Amid all the mad race of the mind, You will find your inner space; Time to get back to the rhythm of the breath, And even as you breathe The pain will decrease, or cease... And the mind quieten, And you won’t be frightened Of self or others. Shobha Lidder, Writer journalist,
Dr. Rajesh Bhola is President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working for the cause of children with autism, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and multiple disabilities for more than 20 years.
I had a high fever and a sore throat. I decided to leave early. I took a cab from office, and asked the driver to stop by at the nearest pharmacy. When we reached there, I felt I had no energy to even get out of the car. The cab driver politely told me, “Please tell me the name of your medicine, I will get it for you.” When he returned, I was surprised that he had got me a buttered toast and a cup of hot tea. I offered to pay him, but he refused to take the money. He politely told me, “Please eat the food before you take your medicine. Do not worry, you will be fine. If you need any help, feel free to ask me.” He made me feel relaxed and comfortable. The hot cup of ginger tea provided me some temporary relief. I was touched by his incredible and noble act of kindness. He dropped me at my apartment, and left me his phone number. The very next day he gave me a call to check on my well-being. I was more than thankful to him. A small incident like that taught me an important lesson of life – always be kind to people, and be ever ready to help. “Kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” - Mark Twain u
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Teacher Trainer, social activist, Reiki Master, Pranic Healer
Crime, Law And Mercy
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rime means any act that violates the universal respect, dignity and equality of a living being. By divine dispensation, none is considered superior or inferior to the other. Any crime has the undercurrent of forcing one’s superiority over another – physically, materially, morally or spiritually. The law should necessarily ensure action that deters crime. Punishment is part of the law that society has overwhelmingly accepted. It may undergo change, depending upon the time and conditions. But once agreed upon, it has to be strictly enforced – otherwise there will be only chaos. Mercy should necessarily be within the power of the aggrieved, and not with any other agency. No outside agency, including the ruling authority, can ever truly understand the grief and pain of the aggrieved, and should never act without the consent of the aggrieved. True repentance is not about asking for mercy, but a will to chastise oneself by accepting the punishment. u Bimal Mohanty