“כי אין רחמים גדולים ”!כרחמי האכ על הבן רד“ק תהלים פרק ק“ג
GPS! Navigation for Your Soul
Yet “internally,” in the emotional zone of love, a parent’s heart is completely in love with their child right away, from the very first minute! If someone would disturb your night’s sleep demanding to be fed and changed — night after night — you would probably HATE that person with a passion and you’d call the cops! Yet, this baby — who you only know for two weeks — gets away with it night after night … and to top it all off — you even think that he’s the MOST ADORABLE thing on the planet!
What did this baby do to earn this kind of emotional attachment? Absolutely Nothing! And that is precisely why this love is: Indestructible! Thus, the basis of “true love” is an internal emotional connection that is an indestructible, unconditional, internal, eternal bond. You are emotionally attached to that person and that is not based on how well you get along or how strong your exterior connection is.
:"כל אהבה שהיא תלויה בדבר ;בטל הדבר בטלה אהבה אינה בטלה לעולם:”!ושאינה תלויה בדבר 'אבות דר' נתן פרק מ When love is dependent on something external, then when that thing is taken away, the feeling of love — that developed only because of that external thing — will evaporate. However, when the love you feel for someone is not based on anything external, then it can NEVER be destroyed. Therefore, the only way that true love can develop is if an internal emotional bond is created. This happens slowly over time by helping each other, giving to each other, supporting each other through
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hard times, etc. …. These things build a true internal connection between one person and another. After true love develops, even if the external factors fade away over time, the internal connection continues to grow stronger and stronger. However, the deep feelings of love and attachment that a parent has for a child are inserted by Hashem directly into the internal zone of love without going through the external process. Therefore, it is unconditional and indestructible. There is no internal joy like the “nachas” parents get from their child … even a little baby cooing … saying “mama” … crawling in the mud … eating melted chocolate with his hands … it’s all “delicious” to his parents. (Just to “his” parents!) Conversely, there is no pain like the pain parents feel when their children give them agmas nefesh (grief ); from little things that bother them way out of proportion, to big things that break their hearts in a way that no child can even begin to understand. Yet even if the outer connection between parent and child is so damaged that they may even seem to hate each other, still and all, the interior emotional connection and inborn instinctive feeling of unconditional love remains completely intact. As we have seen with Dovid HaMelech, his son Avshalom was ready to take his father’s life — yet when Avshalom’s life was taken, his father cried out in terrible pain. So too, regardless of what happens between parents and their child — nothing can break the eternal bond.
Now we can discover something amazing: "כד ברא קודשא בריך הוא עלמא ברא ליה כגוונא דלעילא ”.למהוי עלמא דא בדיוקנא דעלמא דלעילא .זוהר כרך ה‘ (שמות) פרשת פקודי דף רכא The Holy Zohar teaches us that the physical world was created as an exact mirror image of the invisible mystical world above. Just as we explained that a child cannot comprehend the concept of “unconditional love” because it does not exist in any of his relationships, so too, parents would never be able to comprehend this unique concept of “unconditional love” if they did not have this feeling toward their children.